Lost Messed Up
by hjr
Summary: A parody where island events turn out differently. Characters may be completely OOC or greatly exaggerated. May get silly at times. Unusual ships may develop. The fourth wall will be demolished often. *** ALERT! Chapter 94: Forgot to include appearance of Annie in original draft, about 2/3 the way through. Sorry about that, especially to those who already read the chapter.***
1. Pilot Light is Out

Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the real show Lost.

* * *

Jack is lying unconscious in the forest when Vincent wakes him up by licking his face.

Jack: "Yuck! Get away from here, you … what happened?"

Vincent runs away.

Jack struggles up, realizing his back hurts. He hears shouting, and runs the best he can toward the noise. He sees the plane wreck, and many confused and wounded passengers. _Time to be a hero._

* * *

The Book Club is meeting at Juliet's house in Othersville. Juliet, Bea, Tom, Ethan, and Goodwin are seated as Ben enters.

Ben: "So what book are we reading today?"

Juliet: "Green Eggs and Ham."

Ben: "Oooh, I've heard good things about that book."

Bea: "Yes, the intricate use of vocabulary and rhyming structure have made this Dr. Seuss tale a classic."

They take turns reading out loud one page at a time, when they hear a large rumble outside. They go out.

Ben: "Oh look, a plane is breaking apart and crashing on our island. You know what this means?"

Goodwin: "New people for our book club?"

Bea: "New company for tea?"

Tom: "A chance to scare people for our entertainment?"

Ethan: "Ooh, let's kidnap people! Like children and pregnant women."

Juliet: "Or how about some good-looking men?"

Ben: "All great ideas. But we need to infiltrate them first. Ethan, go to where that large part, the fuselage crashed, and pretend you're a survivor. Find out everything you can. Take a radio, but stash it where no one will find it."

Ethan: "Thank you, sounds like fun!"

Goodwin: "Should I go over to that other crash site, the tail section, and infiltrate those guys?"

Ben: "Eh, let's just start with the main group. If things slow down or if there's any interest we can always throw in a flashback."

Ethan gets his stuff and runs toward the beach camp. The rest return to Juliet's house to finish reading the book of the day.

* * *

Claire is lying on the beach, screaming. "My baby! I'm going to have my baby!"

Jack rushes over. "Hi, I'm a doctor. And you are?"

Claire: "In agony! Oh, you mean my name. I'm Claire."

Jack: "Are you experiencing contractions?"

Claire: "I don't know. It just hurts."

Jack: "Calm down. How pregnant are you?"

Claire: "Eight months."

Jack: "Eight months? How on earth did you even get on that plane? There's a reason pregnant women so far along aren't supposed to fly."

Claire: "It's personal. I had to."

Jack, looking over his shoulder to anyone close by who could help. "Hey you, help me move Claire away from the wreckage."

Hurley gets there first. Jack picks Claire up under her arms, and Hurley by her legs. They move her a few yards, and Hurley gets woozy. "Hey, you're not having your baby now are you? Because if you do …." Hurley faints at the thought.

Charlie is next closest, and takes over. "You're Claire? I'm Charlie. You're beautiful."

Claire is flattered by the compliment. "Thank you, you're sweet. I'm afraid I don't have much of a figure now."

Jack and Charlie carry Claire to safety. Jack takes off his suit jacket and folds it to form a pillow for Claire, who calms down after Charlie's nice words.

Claire: "The contractions seemed to have stopped for now."

Jack: "Good. Just take it easy, and rest here. We'll get you some food and water in a few minutes."

Jack looks at Charlie, whose eyes aren't quite focused. Jack recognizes certain subtleties and is concerned. "Charlie, are you all right? You look a little out of sorts. Can you see clearly?"

Charlie, worried about his drug addiction becoming known. "I'm sure it's just the shock of the crash."

Jack: "Okay then. Your mannerisms could be interpreted as someone under the influence of narcotics."

Charlie: "Thanks for your concern, but no cause for alarm. Just make sure Claire here is all right."

Boone finds Rose unconscious, and gives her mouth to mouth resuscitation. Amazingly it works, and she coughs up water in his face.

Rose: "Where am I?"

Boone: "The plane crashed on an island, but you're going to be all right."

Rose: "Is Bernard here? He was back in the tail section washroom when the plane got into trouble."

Boone: "Sorry, I haven't heard anyone by that name."

They look around, but there is no Bernard.

Rose: "In that case, I'm going to tune out, except for premieres and finales. And maybe once a season if something very important happens, like Bernard showing up."

Locke is lying on the beach. He finds he can wiggle his toes, sits up, and the stands. "I can walk! No, quiet, nobody heard that." _I've got to keep that a secret._ Locke walks around, assisting as he can.

Boone comes up with a brilliant idea.

Boone: "I'll just call for help on my cell phone."

Boone whips out his phone, but there are no bars in the display.

Boone: "Darn, there's no signal out here."

Shannon: "I told you you should have used [insert product placement here]."

Michael is running around like a lunatic.

"WAAAALLLLT!"

Sawyer: "Man, that is annoying."

Michael: "Sorry, I wish I had better lines. But I don't have anything else to say until I find my son."

Walt pops up from behind. "Cool it, I'm here. I don't want to hear that line any more either."

Michael: "Walt! You're here! You made it! Are you okay?"

Walt: "I'm okay. Not a scratch on me."

Sawyer: "That's strange. Everyone seems to have been banged up some."

Locke shows up all of a sudden. "The boy could be special."

Walt: "Special? My stepdad Brian thought I was strange, but he never called me that. That's a cool cut you got over your eye, Mr. …"

Locke: "Locke. John Locke."

Walt: "Okay then, John. Maybe you're special too."

Michael: "Walt! This man is a lot older than you. You should address him by his last name."

Walt: "I called Brian by his first name."

Michael: "I am not Brian. You will do as I say."

Walt: "Or what? Are you going to ground me?"

Michael gets exasperated. "What kind of a greeting is this? You should be glad that I survived that crash with you."

Walt: "Who cares about you? If you really are my father, you'll help me find Vincent."

Michael: "Walt, we have to help the injured people first. If Vincent is around, I'm sure he'll come to you. Now since you're just a little kid, why don't you stay out of the way? Keep away from the burning plane, and the ocean, and the woods."

Walt growls and stalks off.

Sawyer: "Charming kid you got there, Ward."

Michael: "Ward? The name's Michael."

Sawyer sighs: " 'Ward is a nickname, as in that TV father Ward Cleaver. And you can just call me Sawyer. No 'Mister'."

Locke: "Being a father is tough. Mine was pretty bad."

Sawyer: "Mine wasn't so hot either."

Michael: "Thanks guys."

Locke: "Good luck. Now we should see if we can help anyone else."

Locke and Michael walk up the beach, toward most of the commotion. However, when the flames in the fuselage go out, Sawyer climbs in, and grabs all the carry-on luggage he can hold. He makes a few trips, sets up a tent, and quickly has an impressive stash.

Hurley recovers, and joins people looking at the crashed plane.

Hurley: "What are we going to do about the …" (sees Walt returning from looking unsuccessfully for Vincent) "b-o-d-y-s?"

Michael: "What are you trying to spell, 'bodies'?"

Walt: "That's b-o-d-i-e-s. I suggest you don't try out for 'Are you smarter than a fifth grader?' "

Michael: "Walt! Nobody likes a smart aleck."

Walt: "So what? Is anybody going to go look for Vincent?"

Michael: "I told you before, there are more important things to do right now."

Jack: "Is Vincent a yellow Lab? His slobbering on me woke me up. He ran off into the woods, but he's bound to come back soon."

Walt: "I knew it! He's alive! Why didn't you bring him with you?"

Michael: "That's unreasonable. The doctor had much more important things to do, like take care of all of us who got hurt, which seems to exclude you for some reason."

Jack looks at Walt. "That's odd not to have even a scratch after a crash like that. You're very lucky."

Walt: "If I was lucky, I'd have my dog!"

Sayid: "Getting back to what we were discussing, spelling is not perfectly correlated with intelligence. But to answer Hurley's question, notice the high tide line well beyond the fuselage. In a few hours, the high tide will come and carry the wreckage out to sea, and we won't have to worry about that."

Hurley: "That means we better get all the food that's still on there, now!"

Jack: "And all the medical supplies. We could use some help."

Boone: "I want to be helpful."

Hurley, Jack, Boone, and Sayid go to the plane. Hurley instinctively knows where the food storage area is, and with Boone and Sayid brings back armloads of airplane meals, drinks, and peanuts. Jack finds a few Oceanic first aid kits , but is puzzled by the lack of carry-on bags.

A few minutes later, a vital question is asked.

Charlie: "Where are we?"

Sayid: "It's not a difficult calculation given that we're very near the autumnal equinox. Seeing as the sun is almost directly overhead, we may conclude that we are very near the equator. Longitude can be approximated by the time showing on a watch. Since it's near noon local time, and my watch says it's shortly before ten am Sydney time, we can conclude that we are just over two time zones, or approximately 32 degrees east of Sydney. So we are close to zero degrees latitude, 175 degrees east longitude. I'd say within five degrees either direction. I'll be able to make a more accurate determination at night when the stars are visible."

Charlie: "Wooooooah."

Jin and Sun are off by themselves, getting over the shock. They speak in Korean.

Sun: "What are we going to do?"

Jin: "Just stay away from everyone else, and listen to me. We don't need them. We should be rescued within a day."

Sun: "Shouldn't we try to figure out what is going on?"

Jin: "We don't need to. They can't understand us, and we can't understand them, so let's not cause any trouble."

Sun sighs, and undoes the top button of her blouse.

Jin: "What are you doing? Cover yourself immediately!"

Sun: "It's hot here. Look how all the other women are dressed."

Jin: "You are my wife, and I will not have other men gawking at your indecency."

Sun frowns, and fastens her top button.

Shannon steps behind some bushes, changes into a bikini, and lies down on her back on an airplane blanket on the beach. Sayid notices and approaches.

Sayid: "Careful you don't burn up. We're very near the equator."

Shannon: "I'll have you know I'm a very experienced tanner and know what I'm doing. I use plenty of sunscreen."

Boone sees Sayid with Shannon and has to investigate.

Boone: "Shannon, is this guy giving you a hard time?"

Shannon: "Not really. Why, are you jealous?"

Sayid: "The name is Sayid, and if your boyfriend …"

Shannon: "He's not my boyfriend, he's my stupid brother."

Boone: "Hey, you're the stupid one. You're just lying around while people are hurting."

Shannon: "There're already enough people helping, like a real doctor. We're bound to be rescued soon, and I want to look good when we do. If you think you can be a help, why don't you be a hero and leave me alone?"

Boone and Sayid give Shannon some space.

Sayid: "Your sister is hot."

Boone: "You got that right. Does have a temper though."

* * *

With all the other survivors tended to, the noble doctor can finally pay attention to his own wounds. Jack is in agony as he removes his white dress shirt to try to look at the wound in his back. He sees Kate, and calls out,

"Can you come here?"

Kate comes over.

"Can I do something for you?"

Jack: "You … have you ever done any sewing?"

Kate: "I'm Kate. I guess I sewed a sampler for a third grade class project, but that's about it. There's probably someone better."

Jack: "That will be good enough. The other women don't look like they're in condition to do this."

Kate: "You know, some men can sew. It's not just a girl thing these days."

Jack: _Oops._ "Sorry, of course you're right. The men don't look like they can hold a needle and thread steadily enough for this, and you look like the most dependable and level-headed person around."

Kate: "That's better. Now what do you need done, … ?"

Jack: "I'm Jack, and I'm a doctor. Please sew up the wound on my back. First pour this alcohol on it, and do the best you can with this needle and thread." Jack lies down on his stomach to hold still.

Kate: "Okay, you asked for it." Kate daubs the alcohol on the wound, and wipes off the blood with Jack's shirt. She stitches up the wound quite well, and blots up more blood with the shirt. "All finished."

Jack: "Thanks, you did a great job. Now help me on with my shirt."

Kate hands Jack the blood-soaked shirt.

Kate: "This is pretty gross."

Jack: "What happened? You weren't supposed to wipe blood off with that. Couldn't you have used leaves? Now what I am supposed to wear?"

Kate: "Oopsy. Maybe there's some extra clothes in some suitcases that were saved." _But I hope not._ She runs her fingers through Jack's chest hair. "Maybe we better wait here a few minutes, you know, like to make sure the stitches hold."

Jack gets distracted. "Umm, yes, you could be right. There's no hurry now. I'm sure we'll be rescued soon." Jack carefully puts his arms on Kate's shoulders, and they hold each other for a long time. Then it grows dark. They return to the rest of the survivors, where Sayid and Michael have been building shelters out of airplane pieces and blankets. Shannon has changed into a miniskirt.

Jack: "Anyone got an extra shirt?"

No answer. Shannon and Walt giggle.

Hurley: "We need to eat. Should we ration the food?"

Sayid: "That will spoil in a day in this heat. We should eat it before it does. Say half today, and half tomorrow."

Everyone eats airplane meals. Sun and Jin figure out what is going on by the motions everyone else makes. Then there is a loud roar in the jungle.

Charlie: "What was that?"

Michael: "Walt's dog?"

Sawyer: "Lardo's stomach growling?"

Locke: "No, I'm sure it's some entity of this Island. We must respect it, and if we don't bother it, it will leave us alone."

Jack: "All right then, let's all try to get some sleep. The rescuers have got to be here in the morning."


	2. Copilot on the Blink

Morning comes, and there's still no rescue. As Sayid predicted, the tide came in washed the wreckage on the plane away, so there will be no need to deal with that.

Ethan gets to the camp at dawn. He hides his walkie-talkie in a hollow tree about fifty meters away. Then he rips his shirt and pants, and cuts his arm on a sharp branch to make it looked like he's injured. He's about to enter the camp when he trips over a young woman.

Ethan: "Oh! I didn't see you there, it's still pretty dark. I'm Ethan, what's your name?"

Mystery woman: "What? What happened?"

Ethan: "Our plane crashed yesterday, and I woke up a little while ago in the jungle."

Mystery woman: "Plane crash? That explains it. Hello Ethan, my name is Joanna."

Ethan: "Good to meet you. It looks like the other survivors are over there."

Joanna: "Thank you, I … I don't know what I was going to do."

Ethan and Joanna enter the camp. Soon Jack approaches.

Jack: "Good morning. I don't remember seeing you two yesterday."

Ethan: "We were knocked unconscious by the plane crash and only woke up a little while ago."

Joanna: "That's right. What's the situation here?"

Jack: "Looks like we have fourteen survivors, now sixteen. My name is Jack, and I'm a doctor. Are you hurt?"

Ethan: "Just a few scrapes, pretty amazing. The trees must have broken my fall."

Joanna: "Pretty much the same for me."

Jack: "Well let me give you something for those cuts and scrapes. We have a few medical supplies, but we'll run out of food in a day or two if no one comes to rescue us."

Ethan: "Odd that they haven't come yet. But I'm sure there're several kinds of fruit in the jungle back there."

Jack: "Good. It's kind of reassuring to know that I wasn't the only survivor to wake up in the jungle. That struck me as rather odd. Most of the survivors landed on the beach."

Ethan and Joanna go off to introduce themselves to everyone. Ethan marvels at his good fortune that Joanna was around to reinforce his story.

* * *

Everyone eats breakfast, and Jack takes charge.

Jack: "We have to try to find the cockpit and the radio transceiver. Who wants to come with me?"

Kate: "I'm good at tracking, and I think I can tell where some smoke from that section came from. I'll come." _And I'll get to spend more time with you._

Charlie: _My stash was in the forward loo._ "I'll go too, I, uh, may find some things of mine that fell out of the plane."

Jack, Kate, and Charlie go into the jungle, with Kate leading the way. After a few hours they find the cockpit, leaning at an angle in a tree. They climb in, and discover the pilot.

Kate: "Is he dead?"

Jack feels for a pulse, and finds one. "He's alive!" Jack shakes the pilot, Seth Norris, and he wakes up with a start.

Seth: "Ow, everything hurts. What happened?"

Jack: "Take it easy. The plane crashed. Here, drink some water."

Seth drinks the water.

Jack: "Can you tell us where we are?"

Seth: "I'm afraid I have bad news. The radio went out six hours into the flight, so we changed direction, and for two hours were headed toward Fiji."

Kate: "That was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Now they won't be looking for us in the right place."

Seth: "Guess so. Sorry. We're around a thousand miles off course, so the searchers will never find us."

Jack: "Great. Well, at least we can take the radio back. There's someone back at our camp that might be able to fix it."

Seth: "Okay, here it is." Seth and Jack pull the damaged radio from the console.

Charlie has sneaked off into the loo, and remarkably finds some packets of heroin. He opens one packet and takes a quick sniff. Then he hides the drug in a pocket, climbs back to the cockpit without anyone else noticing. Then there is a strange loud rumble outside, with mechanical noises.

Seth: "Shouldn't we go investigate that? I can climb through the broken window."

Charlie, feeling much better, has an inspiration. "That thing sounds scary, and we don't know what it is. Why don't we stay here until it goes away?"

Jack and Kate look at Charlie with surprise.

Jack: "That makes a lot of sense."

Kate: "Yes, we should observe that thing at a distance."

Seth: "Well, if you're sure …"

Suddenly the cockpit is shaken out of the tree, and everyone crashes to the ground, stunned.

* * *

Michael gets an urge to build things, and makes tents and shelters for everyone.

Michael: "Walt, want to help?"

Walt: "What can I do? You think I just a stupid little kid. I want to find Vincent."

Michael: "Fine then, find something else to do. If you can't, preparing for the family business is a good option."

Walt frowns and walks off.

* * *

Sawyer is busy all day hiding items from his stash. Some of it he buries in the sand under a piece of metal from the plane, and some is hidden in the woods. He keeps a smaller pile in his tent. On one of his trips he drops a pack of cigarettes. Walt spots it, picks it head, and runs to a campfire. Sawyer doesn't notice until it's too late.

Sawyer: "Hey Short Stuff, give me those!"

Walt throws the pack into the fire. "Those are bad for you. They'll give you lung cancer."

Sawyer: "I tell you what's bad for you. It's messing with other people's stuff."

Walt: "They were just lying there; they could have been anybody's. Now they won't hurt anyone."

Sawyer: "You're risking getting hurt yourself, Skinnny."

Walt: "I can tell; you wouldn't hit a kid."

Sawyer: "Maybe not, but I'll remember this when you want something from me."

* * *

Sun and Jin are by themselves again, conversing in Korean.

Sun: "What are you doing?"

Jin: "I'm making a fishing pole. We'll run out of food soon, and I do know how to fish."

Sun: "That's thoughtful of you. If we're going to be here a while, I think I'll start a vegetable garden."

Jin: "You have to clear that with me first."

Sun is not pleased. "So may I?"

Jin: "Yes, after you cook the fish I catch."

* * *

Walt is skulking around, bored, and Locke sees him.

Locke: "Hey Walt, want to play a game?"

Walt looks at Michael, who has interrupted his construction projects for a moment and is gazing at Sun from a distance.

Walt: "Okay, I like games, what it is?"

Locke: "Backgammon. It was in my luggage, which fortunately was saved."

Walt: "Don't know anything about it."

Locke: "No problem, I'll teach you."

Locke tells Walt how to play, and they play a few games. Locke wins four before Walt wins one with a lot of lucky rolls.

Walt: "Hey, this is a neat game."

Locke: "Walt, you want to know a secret?"

Walt: "Cool! I like secrets."

Locke: "Promise not to tell anyone?"

Walt: "I promise."

Locke: "Before this plane crashed I was paralyzed. There's something magical about this island. It has a connection to me, and I think it does to you too."

Walt looks at Locke funny. "That's wack."

Locke: "In time you will learn. I have to go now. If I find your dog I'll bring him back."

Locke mysteriously walks off into the jungle, leaving Walt with the backgammon set. Hurley sees Walt alone and joins him.

Hurley: "Backgammon, huh? I'm a warrior at that."

Walt: "Fine, let's play." Walt remembers Locke's words, and asks, "Do you want to play for money?"

Hurley laughs: "Whatever you want. I can afford it."

Walt: "A hundred dollars a game?"

Hurley: "If that's what you want, dude. I understand you can't afford to play for high stakes."

Walt is indignant: "A thousand dollars, then?"

Hurley: "All right, let's roll."

They play many games. Walt wins twenty-three while Hurley wins only eight. Walt wins the last game with a final roll of four and two.

Walt: "Don't feel too bad, I wasn't much good when I was a beginner."

Hurley: "I'm not a beginner! I was seventeenth in a tournament once."

Walt: "That doesn't sound so good. How many were in the tournament? _Sixteen?_"

Hurley: "It was a large tournament, over a hundred. A hundred and eight, I believe. What are you implying?"

Walt: "Sorry, nothing."

Hurley: "Should we settle up now? What was the score?"

Walt: "Twenty-three to eight, that's fifteen thousand dollars you owe me."

Hurley starts to tremble. "Twenty-three … eight … fifteen … and forty-two on that last dice roll …"

Walt: "What's wrong man? I mean, dude?"

Hurley: "Those numbers … those … and two more, four and sixteen …"

Walt: "Hey, four and sixteen are two of the numbers on this doubling cube, see?" Walt shows the doubling cube to Hurley. "They're powers of two. I learned that in school."

Hurley freaks out: "The numbers! They're still haunting me! I'm cursed!" Hurley runs away, but not quite at breakneck speed. Walt chases him.

Walt: "Hey, what about my fifteen thousand dollars?"

Hurley: "I'm good for it; just wait till we get off this island … if we get off!"

Walt stops the chase, and puts away the backgammon set.

* * *

While waiting for Jack, Kate, and Charlie to come back from their excursion, Shannon is tanning herself. Boone and Sayid watch from a little distance.

Sayid: "She looks great in a bikini."

Boone: "I know."

Sayid: "Wouldn't it be sweet if she was in that all the time?"

Boone: "That gives me an idea. I need to get back at her for calling me stupid. You distract her, say by rubbing lotion on her, and I'll swipe her suitcase."

Sayid: "Sounds like a plan."

Sayid approaches Shannon. "Hello, you're looking great. I'm still worried about you, so may apply more sunscreen to your back and shoulders?"

Shannon, with a regal air: "I suppose." She turns so Sayid can put on the lotion. Facing down, she doesn't notice Boone snooping close by. Boone hides Shannon's suitcase in a hollow tree when no one is looking.

* * *

Claire is lying in the shade of a tent when Ethan decides to make his first move.

Ethan: "Hello, Beautiful."

Claire chuckles: "Beautiful? Aren't you the flatterer? Though I admit I used to have a figure."

Ethan: "Nonsense. You have a beautiful face, and an inner beauty, and I'm sure you're going to have a beautiful child."

Claire: "Why … thanks."

Ethan: "You're welcome. I hope that if we have to stay here a while we become good friends."

Claire: "Sounds fair. But I really want my baby to be born in a hospital."

Ethan: "I'm sure he … or she … will get the best of care."

* * *

The crew on the expedition to the cockpit gathers themselves. They hear scary noises, and remain silent. In another minute the noise is heard going away, knocking down some trees in the process.

Jack: "Is everyone all right?"

Kate: "I got a couple bruises, but I'll live."

Charlie: _That was some trip_. Yeah man, I'm okay."

Seth: "I'm … alive, but not exactly okay. What was that thing?"

Jack: "We didn't get a good look at it. Some kind of monster."

Kate: "Charlie, don't you realize, you saved that man's life? That thing would have killed him if he had gotten outside."

Jack: "That's right Charlie, you're a hero."

Charlie: "Me, a hero? How about that?"

Jack, Kate, and Charlie help Seth return to the beach camp, Kate carrying the radio. Jack checks out Seth, who has many lacerations and a concussion. Jack determines he needs rest after some food and water. Seth is placed on a blanket in a tent and is forgotten about for a while. Jack, Kate, and Charlie tell the others the news.

Claire: "Does that mean I'm going to have to have my baby on this island?"

Jack: "No, if Sayid can get that radio to work, we should get help within a couple of days."

Sayid: "I think I can fix the transceiver; it may take a couple hours."

* * *

The day winds down, and Shannon intends to change into a blouse and skirt, when she realizes her suitcase is missing.

Shannon: "Boone! What is going on?"

Boone: "What are you talking about?"

Shannon: "Don't play dumb. My suitcase! What happened to it?"

Boone pretends to think. "I think it was near the tree line. Didn't you change around there?"

Shannon: "Yes, but it's not there now!"

Boone: "Maybe wild animals took it."

Shannon: "I'm going to get you for this."

Boone: "You're awfully quick to accuse. At least I have a couple spare inhalers for your asthma."

Shannon, sarcastic: "Thank you, God's frigging gift to humanity. Now I have to go around in this bikini all the time?"

Boone: "Well, is that really a problem? Don't you like showing off your body? And Jack never found a shirt to borrow, and I didn't hear him complaining."

Shannon: "Then why don't you share a tent with him tonight? I'm sure Sayid is enough of a gentleman to make accommodations for me."

Boone rolls his eyes.

* * *

Assembled at dinner, Sayid makes an announcement.

Sayid: "I fixed the transceiver, but didn't pick up a signal. This is not too surprising since Boone's cell phone didn't get a signal either. We have to try to broadcast a signal from high altitude tomorrow."

Locke mysteriously appears from the jungle with a sackful of fruit. "We're just about out of food, but there is plenty in the jungle if you know how to look."

Michael: "But I'm a meat-eater man. Living on just fruit isn't going to do it."

Locke: "Then we hunt."

Locke throws a knife past Michael, sticking in a pole used for a tent support.

Walt, mouth agape: "Awesome."

Michael: "What do you mean, hunt? What's out there? And where did you get that knife?"

Locke: "I found some wild boar droppings. Not too many, but one will feed all of us for a few days. If rescue hasn't come by tomorrow, I will lead a hunting expedition the next day. And that knife is one of four hundred I had in my checked luggage. Fortunately that bag made it to shore."

Hurley winces at the "four" in "four hundred."

Charlie: "You can check that many knives on an international flight? I can see two hundred, three hundred tops, but four hundred is ridiculous."

Sawyer: "There's something fishy about that. I can't trust Mr. Clean."

Sawyer's voice strikes Kate as a charming drawl. She looks like him, finding him more attractive than she realized.

* * *

Settling down for the night, Shannon asks Sayid, "I think Boone hid my clothes, and I'm not speaking to him. Is there room in your tent for me tonight?"

Sayid: "It might be a tight fit, but I'm sure we can manage."

Sayid winks at Boone over Shannon's shoulder in a gesture of appreciation.

* * *

After dark, Ethan makes his way surreptitiously to the hollow tree where he hid his walkie-talkie. He turns it on and calls Ben.

Ethan: "Ben? Ethan here."

Ben: "Go ahead."

Ethan: "I've infiltrated the camp, and no one suspects a thing. But there's something that's bothering me, and I can't go on without knowing it."

Ben: "What is it?"

Ethan: "How did that book end? I left before we finished it."

Ben: "Oh. The protagonist got so fed up with Sam I Am that he relented and ate the green eggs and ham. He found that they tasted good, and the two of them became friends."

Ethan sniffles. "Thanks. I just love a happy ending."

Ben: "All right then, report. Are there any pregnant women or children among the survivors?"

Ethan: "There is Claire Littleton, who's eight months pregnant. For a while it looked like she was going to go into labor right away, but it was a false alarm. There aren't any pregnant children."

Ben: "No, I didn't mean the adjective 'pregnant' to be distributed across the 'or'."

Ethan: "Oh. Yes, there is one ten-year-old boy, a real brat named Walt Lloyd. His father, Michael Dawson, is also here. Apparently Walt's parents never married and his father just got custody, and Walt is not happy with the arrangement. He cares more about his missing dog than anyone else."

Ben: "That could be useful, but given the advanced state of her pregnancy the pregnant woman is our first priority. Now who else is there?"

Ethan: "There's Dr. Jack Shepherd, a spinal surgeon with a big hero complex. An American Southerner who calls himself Sawyer, a bit of a stereotype. Kate Austin, don't know what she does yet, but has eyes for Jack, and maybe Sawyer. An Iraqi, Sayid Jarrah, a military type, probably served in the Republican Guard. A stepbrother and sister, Boone Carlyle and Shannon Rutherford. They love to squabble. Boone wants to be a hero, and Shannon looks terrific in a bikini. John Locke, an older bald guy. Kind of creepy and mysterious, and is worth watching. An overweight guy who calls himself Hurley, friendly but can't stand the sight of blood, and freaks out at the mention of some numbers. An Asian couple, Jin and Sun Kwon I believe, sounds Korean. They don't speak English at all. And there's Charlie Pace, looks like a former rock star and current drug addict. He has that crazed look in his eyes. The pilot, Seth Norris, who's badly injured, a young woman named Joanna, didn't get her last name. Also there's a Rose Somebody, who's tuned out until her missing husband Bernard shows up."

Ben: "Great job. Get to know Claire, and bring her to the Flame Station when the time is right. Take a few days so suspicion will not fall upon you."

Ethan: "Got it. Will keep you informed." Ethan turns off his walkie-talkie and places it back in the tree hollow.


	3. Tabula Densa

The next morning comes. Sawyer is up first. He strips off his clothes to wash up in the ocean. On the way out, Kate, who has risen second, sees him naked. Kate swoons, and faints on the sand. Sawyer dresses, and slaps her lightly.

Sawyer: "You okay, Freckles?"

Kate shakes her head and awakes. She regains her composure. "Of course I'm okay. I just got up too early and needed a few minutes more sleep."

Sawyer: "Riiiiiight."

Miraculously, a guitar case containing a guitar washes on shore with the tide. Sawyer grabs it, intending to add it to his stash, but Charlie is up and recognizes it in time.

Charlie: "Hey, that's mine!"

Sawyer: "Not if your name isn't on it – oh how about that, it is. Charlie Pace?"

Charlie: "That's right."

Claire: "That name is sort of familiar."

Charlie: "I'll help you out. I was in Drive Shaft. 'You All Everybody' was a big smash. I'm a bloody rock god!"

Claire: "Wow really? They did play your music in Australia."

Walt: "Yeah, but I only remember that one song. Your group was one of those one-hit wonders."

Charlie looks annoyed for a moment.

Michael: "Walt! Don't be rude."

Walt: "Is there something wrong with telling the truth?"

Michael: "Didn't you learn not to say anything if you don't have anything nice to say?"

Walt: "Well, no one is helping me look for Vincent so I'll say what I want."

Charlie: "That's all right. I was in Australia trying to see if we could make a comeback, but it looks like that isn't happening now." He takes the guitar and plays several bars of "You All Everybody."

Everyone else goes to breakfast before it becomes too repetitive. After breakfast, Sayid makes his announcement.

Sayid: "We need to set up the radio transmitter on high ground. Four or five people will be good. Who wants to come?"

Sawyer: "I think I'd like to keep an eye on you. Count me in."

Charlie: _I may be able to find more of my drugs._ "I'll come."

Shannon: "A nice hike will be good. I'll join." _And stay close to you, Sayid._

Boone: "Don't be ridiculous. You'd be useless. Just stay on the beach where it's safe and your bikini is appropriate attire."

Shannon: "Harrumph. We'll see. I'm going with or without your blessing."

Sayid, Charlie, Sawyer, and Shannon start off.

Boone: "No wait, I'll come along, I can be useful. I … have a spare asthma inhaler."

The quintet makes it way to higher ground in the interior of the island. After an hour, an agonized growl is heard.

Shannon grabs Sayid by his shirt shoulder. "What is that?"

Sayid: "I … don't know."

Sawyer barges his way to the front. "I'll protect you!" He pulls out the gun he found in the wreckage of the fuselage.

Sayid: "Where did you get that?"

Sawyer: "I found it. It doesn't have anyone's name on it, so it's mine. Finders keepers."

To everyone's surprise, a polar bear staggers through the woods, apparently limping. Shannon shrieks, knocking herself and Sayid down. Shannon maintains a death grip on Sayid's shirt, and rips half of it off. Sawyer raises his gun, when Charlie suddenly bursts forth.

Charlie: "Don't shoot!" Charlie runs up to the bear, and pulls a thorn from its right front paw. "See, all he had was this thorn in his foot. He's friendly."

The polar nuzzles his head against Charlie's face in a show of affection.

Charlie: "See? I'm going to keep him as a pet."

Sawyer: "A pet? Are you on drugs? Look everybody, ol' Has Been here wants to take in Gus as his pet."

Charlie: "Hey thanks, Gus is a great name. I better take him home."

Shannon: "I didn't think polar bears lived in the tropics."

Boone: "Very good Shannon. Hence the name "polar."

Sawyer: "Maybe it escaped from a zoo."

Sayid: "Then someone else was here at one time and built a zoo? I suppose that's possible. There's something strange about this island. I wonder if the presence of an animal that shouldn't be here is related to the fact that our plane broke apart when it shouldn't have."

Charlie and Gus leave the others and head back to the beach, but Charlie gets confused and doesn't quite go in the right direction. The other four keep going.

Boone smirks: "So Shan, are you going to sew Sayid's shirt back up?"

Shannon: "I'm not his maid."

Boone: "The term is seamstress."

The other half of Sayid's shirt falls off his other side.

Sayid: "Knock it off, you two, we have something important to do."

Shannon: "Arguing with Boone is important. It reinforces our established characters, so lay off."

Shannon picks up the second piece of Sayid's shirt. "I can carry that." _I wonder if Sayid was in on that prank stealing my clothes. Boone isn't clever enough to pull that off on his own._ When trailing the group, Shannon surreptitiously shoves the pieces of Sayid's shirt into a hollow tree.

* * *

Back on the beach, Jack announces: "I'm going to look for a fresh water source."

Locke: "I should do that. This island and I are in tune somehow."

Jack: "But I'm the leader. I need to make sure everyone is all right."

Locke: "Is there a reason we can't both go?"

Jack, befuddled: "I guess not. And it might be safer. Let's go."

Jack and Locke go into the jungle, climbing most of the way. In half an hour they find a stream running by some caves.

Locke: "I told you I could find water. You got to have faith."

Jack sighs. "Fine. These caves – they could be used as shelter."

Locke: _I need a private hangout._ "In an emergency, yes, but we need people at the beach in case rescue comes."

Jack: "I suppose you're right, like always."

Locke and Jack fill up some water bottles and return to the beach.

Locke: "You can tell the news."

Jack: "Whatever. Hey everyone, good news. We found water a couple miles east- northeast of here. There are also some caves, which may make a good shelter for some of us. We'll need to make regular water runs, but we should be able to hold out indefinitely now."

* * *

While many others have gone off, Michael attempts to form a better relationship with his son.

Michael: "Walt, I have a great idea for a father-son project. We can build something that everyone could use."

Walt: "A hot tub?"

Michael splutters. "No! How did you get that idea?"

Walt: "I saw you looking at Sun, and …"

Michael: "Never mind. What I meant is an outhouse."

Walt gags. "No thanks. I'll just keep calling Vincent from the beach."

* * *

Sayid, Sawyer, Shannon, and Boone reach a clearing at a reasonably high elevation. Sayid turns on the radio, and a voice is heard.

"Iteration 17294531 [message in French]."

Sayid: "Isn't that French? Anyone here speak it?"

Boone: "Shannon is supposed to, but she probably spent her whole year in France partying."

Shannon: "Shut up. Let me hear that again."

Radio voice: "Iteration 17294532 [same message in French]."

Shannon: "She's says she's alone, or lonely, and … um … party … dead, no dying … she says she's dying to have a party."

Sayid: "Are you sure? That's an unusual message to transmit."

Boone: "I'm sure she's messed it up."

Radio voice: "Iteration 17294533 [same message in French]."

Sayid: "I got it! This message has been repeating in a loop for a long time. I have to time this – the next iteration will end in '534.'

Radio voice: "Iteration 17294534 [same message in French]."

Sayid: "That was thirty seconds. So at two per minute, 17,294,534 iterations makes 8,647,267 minutes, 144,121 hours, 6,005 days, 16 … point 4 years, to the nearest tenth. Say sixteen years and five months."

Sawyer: "Thank you so much Mr. Idiot Savant. Isn't sixteen years an awful long time to wait for a party?"

Sayid: "I'm not sure that was the real message. We need to find the source of that transmission. We can do that by triangulation, but we need more equipment. That will have to wait for another day."

Sayid, Shannon, Boone, and Sawyer go back to the beach. Sayid tells everyone the news. Then,

Sayid: "Shannon, can I the pieces to my shirt? I can mend it."

Shannon: "Sure, they're right here … oops, they must have fallen out of my pack."

Sayid: "I didn't think you were carrying a pack. That was my only shirt; I never found my luggage."

Shannon: "Oopsy. I guess that means we're even. I haven't been in the sun enough today, see you." Shannon gives a flirtatious smile, and Sayid is confused. Distracted, he tries to figure out how to triangulate the radio signal.

* * *

Back on the beach, Ethan is trying to gain more of Claire's confidence.

Ethan: "Such a lovely day. If you're up to it, why don't we go for a short walk in the woods?"

Claire: "It would be nice to get off this beach for a while. I'm not an invalid yet, let's go for it."

Ethan: "Great! Let me help you up."

Ethan and Claire go for a nice short walk in the woods.

Claire: "The shade is nice."

Ethan: "Yes it is. We should do this every day. Build up your strength so you're in tiptop shape to deliver your baby."

Claire: "That's so thoughtful of you."

They return without incident. A disappearance so soon would cause too much suspicion.

* * *

Hurley is watching Jin fish.

Hurley: "Hey dude, I know you don't understand me, but, um, can you say 'fish'?"

Jin: "Fish?"

Hurley: "Great job. We'll get you learning English."

Jin looks confused, and gestures. In Korean, "If I catch more than enough fish for Sun and me, the rest of you can share."

Hurley: "Um … whatever, dude. Maybe I should leave you alone?"

Hurley walks away, and Sun comes back from starting the garden.

Hurley: "Hey, what's up?"

Sun has to pretend not to understand. She gives Hurley a quizzical look, then hurries to Jin before Jin gets a horribly wrong idea about Sun and Hurley.

* * *

Shannon is tanning herself again. Eventually she turns over on her stomach and undoes her bra strap.

Shannon: "Will someone please rub sunscreen on my back?"

Lots of men rush toward Shannon.

Sayid: "I will!"

Boone: "I will!"

Sawyer: "I will!"

Hurley: "I will!"

Michael: "I will!"

Walt: "I will!"

Michael: "Walt! What are you doing here? This is for grown-ups. "

Walt: "Then I'm going to look for Vincent, but someplace different."

Michael: "You have to stay on the beach. The jungle is too dangerous for you."

Walt: "I looked today and yesterday on the beach. Vincent isn't there."

Walt scowls, and Locke approaches.

Locke: "Michael, your son resents you because you treat him like a little kid."

Michael wonders why he was so concerned about his son.

Michael: "You're right, John. Walt, go look for Vincent wherever you want. Use your own judgment."

Walt, surprised at Michael's turning around: "That's more like it. Thanks John."

Walt runs into the jungle, yelling, "Vincent! Here boy!"

Sayid wins the honor of rubbing the lotion on Shannon's back. The crowd disperses.

* * *

While looking in the woods for Vincent, Walt finds a pair of handcuffs instead.

Walt: "Cool!"

Walt runs back to the beach as it's getting dark. "Hey everybody, look what I found!"

Michael: "Handcuffs? Walt, give me those."

Walt: "No, they're mine. Finders keepers."

Sawyer: "Kid has a point."

Jack: "This is serious. It means someone on board the plane is a criminal. We have to figure out who it is."

Hurley: "Why don't we take a vote?"

Sawyer: "I think it's Mustafa over there, Stay-puff."

Sayid: "I vote for Sawyer."

Hurley, feeling insulted: "Sawyer."

Kate, nervous but relieved no one is looking at her: "It was probably someone who didn't make it, but if I have to vote, Sayid."

Jin and Sun look on, Jin not understanding, and Sun having to pretend not to. Neither says anything.

Jack: "Sawyer."

Shannon: "Boone."

Boone: "Shannon."

Michael: "Walt."

Walt: "Michael."

Michael: "Don't refer to your father by his first name!"

Walt: "Okay. Jerkface."

Michael: "Walt!"

Hurley: "Michael, you only get one vote."

Michael growls.

Locke: "Michael."

Claire: "Sawyer."

Charlie, entering from the jungle: "What's going on?"

Ethan: "Charlie."

Hurley: "And it looks like with four votes, Sawyer had just been voted off the island. Sawyer, the tribe has spoken."

Sawyer: "Now isn't that just dandy. I'd be just delighted to leave, but did any of you Einsteins think of providing transportation off this rock?"

Hurley: "Oops."

Claire: "Charlie, what's that behind you?"

Gus the polar bear comes ambling along. There is much screaming, and the bear gets frightened. He knocks down the tree Shannon's suitcase was hidden in by Boone, and destroys all of its contents, then runs back into the jungle.

Jack: "Charlie, you can't keep a polar bear in camp."

Charlie: "Why not? He was friendly."

Jack: "To you at least, but … we don't have enough food for him."

Hurley: "We don't have enough food for all of us."

Sayid: "I think it's best to leave the bear in the habitat to which he has become accustomed."

Jack: "I think you're right. Now let's get some sleep."


	4. Overconfidence Man

Author' notes: Thanks very much for all the reviews! I have figured out an effective way to bring Gus back into the story, but a few chapters have to take place first.

* * *

The next morning it is raining.

Sayid: "When it stops raining, we have to collect all the power sources we can, like batteries from phones and laptops. Then we can set up three antennas, and based on when the signal is received at all the locations I can triangulate the source of the radio signal."

It continues to rain heavily, and the passengers huddle in a few close tents.

Walt gets impatient, and looks to Michael. "You haven't been helping look for Vincent."

Michael: "Excuse me; I've had more important things to do. Look, when it stops raining I'll go look for your dog."

Walt frowns and shakes his head. One second later it stops raining.

Hurley: "Did you see that? Walt is … "

Sawyer: "A freak?"

Hurley: "I didn't want to say that."

Charlie: "That was … rad, man." Charlie is suffering withdrawal symptoms, and does not look good.

Shannon: "I'm sure lots of us were thinking that."

Boone: "Horrors! I may have to agree with Shannon."

Locke: "Stop that. It's just a coincidence. Or … the boy could be special."

Walt: "Arrgh! So what if weird stuff happens around me. Let's just find Vincent."

A large black bird flies out from the jungle, croaks something that sounds like "Hurley," and poops on Walt's head.

Walt: "Yuck!"

Hurley: "That was … weird."

Michael can't stifle a little laugh. "Walt, you need to wash up first."

Walt scowls, goes to the shore line, kneels, and dunks his head in the water. Once clean, he and Michael go into the woods to look for Vincent.

* * *

Charlie scurries off a little into the jungle for a quick fix. He rapidly falls under the influence of the heroin. He staggers back out, not focusing or realizing that several people see him, including Jack, Locke, Sayid, and Ethan.

* * *

Shannon gets up after eating some fruit, and feels woozy. She sits down on the beach.

Shannon: "Boone, I'm not feeling too good. Do you have my spare inhaler?"

Boone: "I already gave you my last one yesterday."

Shannon: "Oh no. What am I going to do?"

Boone: "I bet I know who has your original inhalers. The one with the stash."

Shannon: "You think so? You could be right for a change."

Boone confronts Sawyer. "Hey, we need more inhalers for Shannon, and you're the only one who could have them."

Sawyer slugs Boone, who crumples to the sand. "Don't know anything about that, Metro."

Shannon: "Boone, you're so useless."

Boone: "Uhhhhh …."

The punch is seen by several people. Sayid, Jack, and Locke converge on Sawyer. Sayid uses his martial arts skills to stun Sawyer, and he falls to the ground.

Sayid: "I … have to admit that I was a communications officer in the Iraqi Republican Guard."

Hurley, resenting Sawyer for all the insulting nicknames, asks, "Whoa. Um, what does that mean you did?"

Sayid: "It means I was very good at getting the enemy to communicate things with which they were not forthcoming."

Locke: "Good. Let's tie him to a tree. I'm very good at that." Locke pulls out a knife to cut down some vines as Jack nods his approval. Sayid drags Sawyer to a tree at the tree line, and Locke ties Sawyer up in a sitting position, with his hands behind the back of the tree.

Sawyer: "Happy now, Mustafa?"

Sayid: "No, but we must do what we must do. Now, are you going to tell us where the inhalers are?"

Sawyer: "I have to get something in return."

Jack: "You're being unreasonable. Shannon's life may be at stake. Go ahead."

Sawyer spits at Sayid. "So what are you going to do, Abdul? Stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails? Break a few bones? Or just beat my face bloody? I've been in lots of fights, and can take anything."

Sayid: "I shall do nothing of the sort. I have something much more appropriate in mind." Sayid turns around, and calls out, "Charlie, would you please come over here, and bring your guitar?"

Sawyer looks nervous. "What do you have in mind?"

Charlie: "Hey Sayid, what's up?"

Sayid: "We need you to give a performance for our friend Sawyer here. He is refusing to tell us where Shannon's inhalers are, and we need your help. Please play and sing your song 'You All Everybody' over and over until he tells us where the inhalers are."

Sawyer: "You fiend!"

Sayid: "Last chance."

Sawyer: "Forget it, Al Jazeera."

Charlie looks around at Jack, Shannon, and Boone. Not fully aware of the situation, he sees them nodding approval. "Okay, here goes."

Sayid: "And maximum volume, if you please."

Everyone else backs off, and Charlie strums his guitar and sings loudly a bit off-key.

Hurley: "Dang Sayid, you really can be cruel."

Sayid: "If I must. If a life weren't at stake I'd never suggest it, but …"

Sawyer struggles mightily, but Locke has done too good a job with the vines. Sawyer growls, his eyes filled with contempt.

* * *

Ethan hears Charlie singing and suggests, "Claire, why don't we go for another walk?"

Claire: "I like this song. I'd rather stay here for now."

Ethan grits his teeth.

Fifteen minutes later, Claire relents: "I don't need to hear that song all the time. Let's go."

Ethan: _Finally!_ "Great! Let's go this way."

Ethan and Claire walk a little while, and then they are surprised by … Locke.

Locke: "Hello, what are you two doing out here?"

Ethan: "We had to get away from that cacophony on the beach."

Claire: "It wasn't that bad, just too repetitive."

Locke: "Be careful you don't get lost."

Ethan: "We won't. Say, what are you doing out here?"

Locke: "Looking for the right tree to make a dog whistle from. I'm afraid of what might happen if Walt doesn't get his dog back."

Claire: "Good idea, I hope it works."

Locke: "Thank you. Take care, you two."

Ethan knows he can't afford to blow his cover now. He and Claire go back to the beach, ending up a good distance away from the beach camp and then walking back along the shore.

Ethan: "You know, this could be romantic."

Claire: "It could? I wasn't thinking like that, but I suppose it might."

* * *

Finally, after two hours Sawyer screams: "All right, stop it, you bloody Limey! I'll tell you what you want to know!"

Charlie stops singing and playing the guitar. "I don't remember wanting to know something."

Sawyer: "Never mind. Get Freckles over here. I'll tell her."

Charlie: "Who's Freckles?"

Sawyer: "Haven't you been paying attention? That's Kate!"

Charlie: "No need to be rude, mate." Charlie walks unsteadily toward a group including Kate and Jack. "Sawyer says he'll talk to Kate."

Jack: "I'm in charge of this. He can talk to me."

Kate: "Forget it, Jack, I can take care of myself. Let's get this over with."

Kate strides to Sawyer. "Spill it, Sawyer."

Sawyer: "First, I need just one thing from you, Babe."

Kate splutters: "What!?"

Sawyer: "A kiss."

Jack interrupts. "No way! Charlie, get back here and keep on playing."

Kate: "Go away Jack, you're not the boss of me. Remember you owe me for stitching you up. Besides, I don't want to hear that music any more, even from a distance. If he doesn't talk, we will give him another dose."

Jack stands there agape.

Kate leans in and kisses Sawyer on the lips for eight seconds. "All right, now what's the story on the inhalers?"

Sawyer looks Kate in the eyes. "The honest truth is, I don't have any. None of the bags I found where Barbie's, and none of them had asthma inhalers."

Kate is stunned, but believes Sawyer is telling the truth. She turns back to the others. "He says he doesn't have any, and I believe him."

Jack: "What! Then why … ? Sayid, what do you think?"

Sayid looks at Sawyer, and Sayid's experience tells him, "Kate is right. Sawyer is telling the truth."

Kate addresses on Sawyer: "Why on earth would you let yourself go through all that if there was nothing to tell?"

Sawyer smirks. "To see what kind of people you are, to show you how much I can take, and most importantly, to get a kiss from you."

Kate is indignant. "Why you …"

Sawyer turns his head and braces for a slap in the face, but it is not forthcoming. He looks back at Kate. "Aren't you gonna slap me?"

Kate takes her time. "I don't want to slap you. What I want is … to not waste any more time." Kate seizes Sawyer's shirt collar, then yanks hard, ripping his shirt. It takes several efforts to rip the shirt off among all the vines, but Kate is eventually successful. Sawyer is bound too well to have any chance of stopping her. She then tosses the several pieces into a campfire, and comes back to explain.

"I am part of a large audience that doesn't want to see you wearing a shirt any more. Jack and Sayid look fine shirtless, but you're definitely the hottest."

Sawyer is momentarily taken aback at this turn of events, but recovers to speak in an exaggerated drawl. "Why, I had no idea you felt this way about me, Puddin'."

Kate: "Knock it off. After I saw you yesterday morning … oh never mind."

Sawyer chuckles. "Now that that's all taken care of, would you care to untie me?"

Kate: "After that stunt you pulled to get a kiss? And Shannon still needs help. Are you kidding?"

Sawyer: "So what are you going to do, leave me here all day?"

Kate: "That sounds like a great idea. Now there's a little more slack in the vines, due to the thickness of your shirt no longer there. Maybe you can work yourself out. _I'd like to see you try. Put those muscles into action._ Kate steps away, and Sawyer just sneers.

Sun has understood enough of the situation to realize what must be done. She has seen eucalyptus trees on the way to her garden. She grabs several, tears them up into small pieces, and soaks them in a pan of water. She gestures to Jack, and then they go to Shannon, who is lying on the beach. Sun rubs the leaves on Shannon's upper chest, and her breathing improves markedly.

Jack: "Sun, that was brilliant! Eucalyptus, of course. You're a life saver."

Boone walks up, after having taken the few hours to recover from Sawyer's punch. "Hey, I can … administer that stuff if you can get more of it."

Sun feigns ignorance at Jack's and Boone's remarks, and just nods. Then she walks back to Jin, who is trying to teach Hurley to fish. As usual, Jin and Sun converse in Korean.

Jin: "What was that all about?"

Sun: "The tall blonde was suffering from asthma, and it looked like they had no more inhalers. I made a remedy my grandmother taught me."

Jin: "Your top button is undone again."

Sun gets irritated. "I tell you, it's too hot. No one else is dressed like this." Sun does up her top button anyway, afraid of what Jin might do.

* * *

Michael and Walt return after a couple unsuccessful hours of searching for Vincent. They see Sawyer tied up.

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Michael: "Walt, control yourself. Sawyer, what's going on?"

Sawyer sneers, and Jack comes up and interrupts. He explains what went on.

Michael: "Walt, let's go leave them alone to their goofy games."

* * *

In the woods, Locke has found the right kind of tree. He breaks off a dry branch, and whittles a dog whistle out of it. He blows on it, and Vincent appears out of nowhere. They go to the beach, where Vincent sees Walt.

Walt: "Vincent! I knew we would find you!"

Vincent and Walt run toward each other, resulting in a violent collision. In a second Vincent is on top of Walt, Vincent's front legs on Walt's chest and his hind legs on Walt's hips. Vincent licks Walt's face enthusiastically.

Walt: "Ha ha ha Vincent that tickles stop ha hee hee …"

Walt repeatedly tries to push Vincent away, but Vincent keeps getting his weight back on Walt. After four minutes Walt is hyperventilating, and collapses, lying still. Sensing something amiss, Vincent stops licking Walt, and settles down on his chest, pinning Walt to the sand.

Michael comes over and pets Vincent. "Good dog. Just stay there and keep Walt out of trouble. He needs a nap anyway."

Locke comes over. "Here Michael, I made this dog whistle, in case Vincent ever runs away again."

Michael is a bit dejected. "You know, you might have found a way to give me some credit for this. I could use something that makes me look better in my son's eyes."

Locke: "I could have, but Walt would have eventually found out the truth, and would hate you the more for it."

Michael sighs. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Michael and Locke walk off to collect fruit and water, leaving Walt helplessly pinned.

Walt, in a weak voice: "Hey, don't leave me like this …" and then Walt passes out unheard. The enforced nap does him good, and everyone else rejoices.

* * *

As the afternoon wears on, nobody helps Sawyer. Infuriated, he finds the strength to move his hands back and forth, rubbing the vine against the tree to which he is tied. Kate spies on him from behind some trees and is turned on by the effort. In a couple hours the vine is sawed through, and in another several minutes Sawyer completely frees himself. _That does it. I'm gonna drive a very hard bargain with anyone who wants anything from my stash_. Sawyer goes to his secret stash location in the jungle, and digs out the gun he almost shot Gus with. _I won't make that mistake again. I'm keeping this baby on me at all times._

* * *

Sayid spends the rest of the day searching for power cells from cell phones and laptops. He doesn't get quite enough. Hurley sees Sayid with several batteries.

Hurley: "Hey dude, did you get enough?"

Sayid: "Not quite. The only other possibility is that Sawyer has something in his stash, but I don't want to deal with him now. He may destroy something useful out of spite."

Hurley: "Tough break. Hey, why don't you ask an intermediary? Someone he won't act nasty to."

Sayid: "That's a good idea, but …" Sayid goes through all the passengers in his mind. "I don't think he's on good terms with anyone."

Hurley thinks, and replies: "Could be. Let's see, there's drawing straws. Phoning a friend is out, but we could poll the audience."


	5. Run Amok

The next morning comes, and a decision has to be made.

Sayid: "The audience wasn't much help."

Hurley: "Sorry dude. Guess we have to figure this out on our own."

Sayid: "Well let's see. Would Sawyer feel guilty about making Shannon suffer?"

Hurley: "I'm not sure Sawyer ever feels guilt, but I don't think he'd give her too hard a time."

Sayid: "Probably, but maybe there should be someone else."

Hurley: "I know … that girl everyone forgot about … Joanna."

Sayid: "That's a good idea. Let's go."

Hurley and Sayid go to Shannon.

Sayid: "Good morning, Shannon. How are you feeling?"

Shannon: "Much better, thank you. Sun's concoction really worked well."

Sayid: "That's great. Now, we have a favor to ask you."

Shannon looks up, and is mesmerized by Sayid's good looks. "What is it?"

Sayid: "We need you to ask Sawyer for any power source he might have, like a battery from a laptop. That should give us enough power to triangulate the radio signal."

Shannon sighs. "If I have to, I will for you. I'm not crazy about seeing Sawyer just now."

Sayid: "That's understandable. We were thinking of having Joanna go with you."

Shannon: "Who? Oh yeah, her." They look a little ways down the beach where Joanna is removing outer garments and revealing a bikini. "Looks like she's going swimming. Tell me, who looks better, her or me?"

Sayid: "You do." _Better not get that one wrong._

Hurley: "You do."

Shannon looks startled. "Oh Hurley, I forgot you were here."

Hurley: "That's all right. I'll just go away now."

Shannon: "Fine, I'll do it."

Shannon and Sayid head for Joanna.

Sayid: "Joanna, we'd like you to come with Shannon to ask Sawyer for power sources, .like batteries, from his stash."

Joanna: "Someone wants me to do something? Wow, I've been completely ignored since Ethan and I introduced ourselves to everyone the second day. Sure."

Shannon and Joanna approach Sawyer, who is reading Slaughterhouse Five. Joanna nearly swoons. _Thank you Kate, for tearing off his shirt._

Sawyer practically snarls. "You're in my light, sticks."

Shannon: "What are lightsticks? Are they like light sabers?"

Sawyer, "No, doll, there's a comma between 'light' and 'sticks.' The latter noun refers to you with your long limbs."

Shannon: "Harrumph. So what's the book about?"

Sawyer: "It's about a guy who gets unstuck in time. He lives his life in a mixed-up order, jumping back and forth to the future and the past.

Shannon: "Time travel? What a crazy concept."

Sawyer: " It's really a good book. When I'm done with it, you might like to read it and improve your mind. Now, what is it you want?"

Joanna: "We need a battery or power source so that Sayid can triangulate the radio signal."

Sawyer: "I heard about that. Wait, who are you?"

Shannon: "Sawyer, that's Joanna. Weren't you paying attention when she and Ethan were found?"

Sawyer: "If I had, I would have addressed her by a nickname. Now I have to think of one. Looks like a swimmer, so how about … Flipper?"

Joanna: "What?"

Shannon: "Don't worry about it. At least it wasn't something like 'Jaws'."

Joanna: "Enough of this. Sawyer, do you have a battery in your stash or don't you?"

Sawyer: "I could. What's in it for me?"

Joanna: "If this works, we all get off this island, including you."

Shannon: "Oh oh, he may want to kiss you."

Joanna: "That doesn't sound so bad."

Sawyer: "Let's get on with it then."

Sawyer and Joanna smooch. Shannon is repulsed and turns away.

Joanna: _Wow, Sawyer is terrific._

Sawyer: _Not bad, but Kate was better._

Sawyer: "Very good. This way ladies." Sawyer heads toward a tarp in the woods. He knows he'll have to move it, but doesn't mind. "One laptop battery, it's all I got." Sawyer holds out the battery, and Shannon takes it.

Joanna: "Thank you. It was a pleasure doing business with you."

Sawyer: "Likewise." _If things don't work out with Kate, this Joanna could be worth looking into._

Joanna starts to head back, when Shannon catches a glimpse of a yellow lifejacket sticking out from the edge of the tarp. A strange sense of foreboding permeates her soul.

Shannon: "Sawyer, can we please have that lifejacket?"

Sawyer: "Now why would you want that, Sweet Cheeks?"

Shannon: "I just had a feeling that we need it. Besides, you look like a strong swimmer to me. Surely you have no use for it? Or are you going to make me kiss you for it?"

Sawyer considers. _Those are the lips that Captain Falafel kissed. I think I'll pass. But I have to maintain my reputation._ Sawyer flings the jacked to Shannon, who catches it.

Sawyer: "Just take it, and leave me alone, all right? And don't say I never did anything for you."

Shannon: "It's a deal."

Shannon leaves quickly, relieved to get away. Once she and Joanna are out of sight, Sawyer moves his stash about a hundred yards away. Joanna and Shannon reach the beach.

Shannon: "Joanna, I got a strange feeling … if you're going to go out there, you should take this."

Joanna thinks Shannon is loopy. "I don't need a life jacket. I'm an excellent swimmer."

Shannon: "I just get a bad feeling."

Joanna runs into the ocean and starts swimming.

Shannon finds Sayid and gives him the battery.

Sayid: "This is terrific Shannon. Were there … any problems?"

Shannon: "It actually went better than I thought it would. The creep made Joanna kiss him …" Shannon cannot control herself, throws herself into Sayid's arms, and kisses him. Sayid is dazed. He doesn't resist for a minute, and then,

Sayid: "You're gorgeous, Shannon. I want to be with you all the time, but I need to set up the antennas, and find good locations for them. We can put one or two on the beach, far apart, and the third on higher ground. You think you can find a good beach location, unobstructed by trees?"

Shannon: "Anything for you, my dashing hunk."

With a big effort Shannon breaks away and starts up the beach. Sayid moves off to assemble the antennas in a more isolated location where he won't be interrupted.

While walking up the beach, Shannon sees Joanna swimming around one hundred yards out. Suddenly Joanna is caught in a rip tide. She flails her arms, and Shannon notices.

Shannon: "Help! Joanna is drowning!"

Shannon runs farther up the beach, coming first to Charlie, who is looking rather out of it.

Shannon: "Charlie, help Joanna!"

Charlie: "I can't."

Shannon: "You mean you can't swim?"

Charlie: "Well, my father taught me to swim well as a child, but now I can't, but if we're still here in a few months I'll remember how if I need to do something heroic."

Shannon: "That doesn't make any sense! You can be heroic now!"

Charlie: "Sorry, no can do."

Boone rushes up, strips off his shirt, kicks off his shoes and socks, and jumps in while yelling, "I'm a lifeguard; I'll save you!"

Shannon: "Boone, you're barely capable of being a lifeguard at a swimming pool. You're no match for the ocean."

Boone: "I'm the best qualified for this, so I have to go."

Shannon wades in. "Then take this life jacket."

Boone: "I don't need it."

Shannon: "Yes you do! Now take this or I swear if you drown I'll kill you!"

Charlie: "Now who's not making sense?"

Shannon flings the yellow life vest towards Boone swimming away, and hits him on the head with it. Boone doesn't feel like having another argument with Shannon, and swims out with the vest in one hand.

Charlie: "Wow, Shannon, you really do care for him."

Shannon: "He is a jerk most of the time, but I don't want him killing himself."

Jack is next on the scene. "What's going on?"

Shannon: "Joanna went swimming and got in trouble, and Boone is trying to rescue her."

Jack: "But I'm the one who's supposed to take care of everybody. I … need to rescue Boone." Jack takes off his shoes and socks and dives in.

By now, everyone else is aware of what is going on and gathers by the beach, watching the drama.

Sayid: "There's no use in anyone else going out there. At least one of them must know what to do in a rip tide."

Walt: "We learned that at school. You float with the current, parallel to the shore, until it stops, and then swim back."

Michael: "It's good that you know that. If you feel like swimming in the ocean, go right ahead."

Walt: "I don't think so. There could be sharks out there."

Locke: "Good for you Michael, trusting your son's judgment."

Joanna is struggling: "What the? Glug!" _Where did this undertow come from?_

Boone: "Hang on! Glug! I'll save you!" The undertow snags Boone and drags him under. He just manages to hang onto the lifejacket and pull himself up. He gasps for air. _Dang! If I didn't have this jacket I would have never come up._

Boone paddles over to Joanna, who goes under for the third time. She snatches Boone's pant leg, and crawls up his body. She grabs his neck and almost pulls him under. With little energy left, they float along.

Jack realizes it would look foolish for him to get caught as well, so he doesn't swim out as far. He yells out: "Just ride out the rip tide! I'll come get you then."

Shannon has picked up Boone's shirt and is wringing it in her hands as she watches the drama unfold. She doesn't notice as it tears into lots of tiny pieces.

A few minutes later Boone and Joanna are not moving so fast. Jack realizes the rip current has come to an end, and swims out to them. He grabs Joanna and drags them back to shore.

Kate is impressed: "Isn't Jack wonderfully heroic?"

As Jack, Boone, and Joanna get close to shore, several people, including Kate, Jin, Sayid, and Ethan, help them to the dry beach. Michael sees Sun watching, and feels ashamed that he wasn't able to help. Sun turns to Michael for a second, and then turns away, not wanting Jin to catch her looking at another man. Michael thinks _I need to do something to impress her._

Jack: "Stand back. Joanna may have inhaled some water, and we have to get it out of her lungs."

Joanna: "I don't think so …"

But Jack applies mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. In a minute, Joanna coughs up a tiny amount of water. Kate feels that Jack is enjoying the experience too much and sidles away.

Jack: "There, you're saved now."

Sawyer sneaks in and grabs the lifejacket, and scurries back to hide it in his stash.

_That was strange. Did Shannon really know something, or was it a dumb lucky guess?_

Claire: "What about Boone?"

Jack: "I'm sure Boone is fine." Jack slaps Boone on the back, with no effect. "See?"

Boone grumbles, and starts to walk away.

Shannon runs up to her stepbrother. "Hey Boonie, aren't you glad you listened to me?"

Boone is too humiliated to answer directly. He mumbles, and then asks, "Hey, is that my shirt you're holding there?"

Shannon: "Yes … oops, I guess I accidentally ripped it. Sorry. But like you said, I don't need tops besides this bikini, and turnabout's fair play."

Boone mutters something unintelligible.

Shannon: "Oh, your shoes and socks are here, but I'd say your socks are a lost cause."

Boone silently steps into his shoes. "Just leave me alone." Boone heads toward the tree line. Locke sees what is going on and reaches him.

Locke: "What's the matter?"

Boone is reluctant to talk at first, but then realizes he needs someone to talk to.

Boone: "I can't stand it. Shannon saved my life. I feel so useless. I just don't want to be around here."

Locke: "Look, you have emotional hang-ups, and feel a constant need to prove yourself. I can help you. Come be my protégé. We can go to the caves and take some time to assess things."

Boone: "You would do that for me? Why?"

Locke: "I see potential in you that others don't. This island is special, and we must discover all it has to offer. Come, this way."

Boone quickly and quietly follows Locke into the woods, away from the beach, and to the caves. They stop to drink a good amount of water when they reach the nearby stream.

Boone: "Is there more to eat than fruit out here? I'm getting tired of that."

Locke: "The island will provide for us, but we must go on a hunt. Like I said before, there are wild boars in the area. We should have more people on the trip. I'll organize it tomorrow. For now, we should start making boar traps, nets out of vines. Are you willing to help?"

Boone: "Count me in." _This better get me some respect. Especially from Shannon._


	6. Pyschedelic Bunny

Another day dawns. Vincent wakes up hungry, and finding nothing better, chews up Walt's sneakers.

Michael walks about, and sees Charlie staring into space over the ocean. Michael sits down next to him, and wonders out loud.

Michael: "Why aren't I more popular?"

Charlie: "Did you try figuring out the differences between you and whoever you think is more popular?"

Michael: "Not really. Take Sawyer. So many people swoon over him, and I get ignored. I had a good honest construction job and have artistic talent, while he hoards everything and tries to take advantage of everyone. "

Charlie: "Yes, but I'd say the biggest difference is that he's going around shirtless all the time, and I bet all the gals dig that. Maybe some of the guys too, I don't know about that."

Michael: "You think that's it? You could be right. I look good without a shirt, that's what got my ex-girlfriend, you know, Walt's mother, attracted to me. You think I should try it?"

Charlie: "You could, but don't be obvious about it. There should be a reason, like you're doing some good. You don't want to do what I did."

Michael: "What are you talking about?"

Charlie: "Oh, when my band was in the dumps we shot a commercial for nappies. Or tried to."

Michael: "What are nappies?"

Charlie: "You know, for babies, you Yanks have a different word for them … dumpers?"

Michael: "I think you mean diapers."

Charlie: "Right. The band wore large versions of the products, and danced in a giant crib, but my brother freaked out, and … it was a disaster."

Michael: "You were in that? That was on one of those shows, 'The World's Worst Commercials,' or something like that."

Charlie: "They have shows like that in the states? Figures. That's a part of my life I want to forget."

Michael: "Interesting. That reminds me, before the flight, the last time I saw Walt every day I was changing his nappies all the time."

Charlie gives a little chuckle.

Walt, who has just walked up to complain about the food situation: "Dad! Why do you have to embarrass me?"

Michael: "What? Oh, good morning Walt. Wait, you called me 'Dad'. That's wonderful!"

Walt: "I did what? Crud. So I made a mistake. You still don't have to tell everyone about me as a baby."

Michael: "There's nothing embarrassing about you as a baby. You were cute and adorable, and didn't have that attitude. And all babies need to be changed a lot."

Walt: "Whatever. Anyway, we need real food. I was sleeping barefoot, and Vincent just chewed up my shoes."

Michael: "You didn't like shoes when you were one, so I'm sure you can do fine now."

Walt: "Of course I can do fine! I'm tough. That's not the point. I'm sick of all this fruit and water."

Locke and Boone appear as a crowd gathers.

Locke: "Today we are going on a hunt for boar. We need a few more people. Who's interested?"

Sayid: "I will attempt to triangulate the source of the radio interference today. I need one or two people to position the other two antennas, and turn on the power cells at the same time. We'll accomplish that by firing bottle rockets. Who wants to participate in that?"

Claire: "I want to do something besides lie around all day. I'll do one of the antennas."

Ethan: "I'm not sure you can handle that."

Claire: "I'm pregnant, not invalid!"

Sayid: "One of the antennas will be on the beach, in a wide open area. Why don't Claire and Ethan handle that one."

Claire: "Sounds good to me."

Ethan: "Sure."

Kate: "I'd like to try hunting. I'm good at tracking, but I don't really know anything about guns or knives. Is that all right?"

Locke: "Sure, that will be fine. I'll be handling the knives."

Sawyer: "I'm the one with the gun. I'm going to tag along."

Jack: _Can't let Kate and Sawyer be together._ "I should go on the hunt. There could be injuries, and you'll need me."

Hurley: "I think I'd better try one of those antenna thingies."

Charlie: "I don't do hunting. Antenna."

Sayid: "Fine, Hurley and Charlie can be a team."

Charlie: "No offense Hurley, but I'd rather be with Claire."

Ethan: "Claire and I are already a team. We're going with teams of two."

Hurley: "Come on, dude, I'm not that bad company."

Shannon: "I think I'd be better with one of those antennas, too. I could go with you." Shannon bats her eyelids at Sayid.

Sayid: "Uh … sure, that could work."

Walt: "I want to go hunting."

Michael: "Walt! This is too dangerous for you. I forbid it. I'll go on the hunt. You can stay with Sun over there."

Walt: "I'm too big for a baby-sitter!" Walt looks to Locke for help, but Locke realizes that opinion would be against letting the child join the hunt, so he remains silent.

Michael: "Just do what you're told for once. Here." Michael twists Walt's ruined shoes and ties them with the laces to form a surprisingly viable rubber ball. "Play fetch with Vincent with this."

Walt sighs. "I'll play with Vincent, but I won't be baby-sat. Besides, wouldn't it make more sense for Rose to watch me? At least she understands English."

Michael: "Yes, but we're in the middle of a season and Rose isn't available. I'm sure Sun will do fine. Make friends with her, and find out what you can."

Walt: "Fine." Walt throws his nice new smelly rubber ball toward Jin and Sun, who like usual are isolated from everyone else.

Locke: "So it's settled. "Boone, Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Michael and myself are on the hunt."

Sayid: "Yes, and the antenna teams are Claire and Ethan, Hurley and Charlie, Shannon and myself. Claire and Ethan can find a wide open spot on the beach around there, Hurley and Charlie can go a couple kilometers that way, and Shannon and I will go to higher ground, up over there, so we get three locations far apart. We don't have much power, so we need to turn on the cells simultaneously. Let's make it two p. m. on the dot. Set off the bottle rockets one minute before so we know everyone is in position."

Everyone sets off in their various directions.

* * *

Jin is working on making a fishing net when a funny rubber ball bounces near him, with Walt and Vincent in pursuit. In Korean, as always, "What is this?"

Sun, still speaking Korean, "I think Michael wants me to look after Walt."

Jin: "Why? What's his angle?"

Sun: "He went somewhere with a group. I think the one they call John is leading. They might be hunting."

Jin: "Let them go. We don't need them."

Sun: "Be reasonable. We have to live with them for who knows how long. We should be more cooperative and friendly."

Jin: "All right, do one friendly thing, and then make the boy go away."

Vincent snatches up the ball, with Walt right behind.

Walt: "Uh, hi. My dad wants Sun to look after me, but I'm too big for a baby-sitter, so Vincent and me will just play and leave you alone."

Sun manages two words of English: "Hi, Walt?" and then reverts to Korean. "What bright white teeth you have. Let me show you how to keep them that way."

Walt: "Say what?"

Sun takes a leaf from a plant and demonstrates flossing her teeth with. She gives another leaf to Walt, who mimics her action.

Walt: "So this is like toothpaste? That's cool. It would be a bummer to go home with a mouth full of cavities."

Sun: "Chia?"

Walt: "This plant is called chia? Like a chia pet?"

Sun nods as if she vaguely understands, and repeats "Chia."

Walt: "Okay, thanks, gotta go. I can say this because you can't understand me, because my dad really digs you."

It is all Sun can do to avoid showing any emotion. She turns away, and Walt goes back to playing fetch with Vincent.

Jin: "Are you done?"

Sun: "Yes. I just showed him how to keep his teeth clean."

Jin: "Fine. You can sew, so help me make this fishing net. We'll show them we can take care of ourselves, and some of them if necessary."

* * *

Claire and Ethan get to a good spot first. Ethan plants the antenna and sets up the bottle rocket.

Ethan: "We have a lot of time. How about we get to know each other better? I'm a children's author from Ontario, and I was coming back from vacation."

Claire: "That's sweet. There isn't much to tell about me. My boyfriend dumped me after I got pregnant, and I was going to see a couple about adopting him … or her."

Ethan: "Oh. What are you going to do now?"

Claire: "I don't know. I sure didn't expect to have my baby on this island, but it's looking more and more like that's what's going to happen."

Ethan: "Well, if it does, I want to be there for you."

Claire: "Thank you, you're too kind."

* * *

Hurley and Charlie are trudging along northward along the shore. They come across a golf bag washed up on the shore.

Hurley: "That gives me an idea. This island could use more entertainment." He picks up the bag, and turns it upside down, emptying it of water.

Charlie: "What do you mean, exactly?"

Hurley: "We can build a golf course here. This bag has a complete set of clubs, and dozens of golf balls in the pockets, and tees."

Charlie: "That's kind of crazy … but I like it."

Hurley bristles at the word "crazy," but settles down when Charlie approves of the idea.

Hurley: "Do you know anything about golf? Wasn't it invented by you guys?"

Charlie: "Not much. It started more in Scotland than England, but so what?"

Hurley: "Scotland … England … you're right, it doesn't matter. Look at all the natural features we have here – lots of sand traps, and the world's biggest water hazard."

Charlie: "That's one way to look at it. But we better not lose all the golf balls in the water."

Hurley: "Good point. We'll set up the course inland a bit. We can set up a few holes today, and use sticks for the flags."

Hurley and Charlie pick out locations for four holes, two going north and two coming back going south. They arrive at a nice grassy area to set up their antenna and bottle rocket.

* * *

Sayid and Shannon have a tough climb to the high ground. They go over hills and boulders, and reach foothills of a mountain. They continue climbing, when

Shannon, panting: "I'm sorry, Sayid, I can't go on."

Sayid is mesmerized by Shannon's body. "That's okay. I forgot about your asthma; this is a tough hike for someone with that. Let's get you settled over here."

Shannon: "Thank you. Don't let me mess your plans for the signal."

Sayid: "You won't. There is plenty of time."

Shannon: "In that case …" Shannon embraces Sayid. They fall to the jungle floor and roll around a little while. After several minutes Sayid snaps himself out of it.

Sayid: "I have to get going. See you soon."

Shannon: "Farewell, my darling. I'm feeling better now."

Sayid: "Just rest. It's a long trip back."

* * *

The hunt goes without incident for a couple hours. Then Locke holds up a hand and announces, "Quiet, I think we're close."

Everyone holds still, but there is no noise. They continue on, when there is a louder rustling noise in the bushes ahead.

Michael: "Is that a boar?"

Kate, in a hushing voice: "Michael, you're making too much noise."

Suddenly a boar charges diagonally from ahead and runs toward Michael.

Boone: _Chance to be a hero._ "Michael, get out of the way." Boone leaps into the boar's path to push Michael aside.

Jack: "No, let me push him out of the way." Jack turns to shove Michael, but runs into Boone.

Sawyer: "For crying out loud, if you Bozos would get out of the way I'd have a clear shot."

Kate: _Men!_

Michael: "Take it easy, I'm out of the way …"

The boar charges into the confusion. It gores Boone and Jack with one tusk each, getting each in the lower leg. The boar runs off.

Locke: "I'm going after it. Take care of Jack and Boone." Before anyone else can react, Locke has disappeared.

Jack springs into action. Boone's lower pants leg is ripped, and Jack tears it off the rest of the way to get at the wound. Jack takes a small bottle of iodine from his pack, one of the few medical supplies he still has.

Jack: "Hold still, this will hurt." Jack applies the iodine, and glares at Sawyer. "You know, if you have any medicine in your stash, it could be very helpful when we get back. You never know when there will be an infection."

Sawyer just stares. _I can't look weak, but I don't need to be responsible for someone's death. This is tough._

Jack: "Okay, now I need a bandage to keep pressure on the wound."

Michael sees his chance. He rips off his shirt and tears a couple strips off it, starting at waist end of it. "This is my fault, use these."

Jack: "Um, since the pants leg was already torn, I was going to use that, but … thanks, that should be better." Jack wraps Boone's wound securely.

Kate can't help but notice Michael's upper body muscles working as he tears his shirt. There is enough of it left for him to put back on, although his midriff would be exposed.

Kate: "Michael! Jack is wounded too! We need more of your bandages!"

Michael doesn't hesitate, and tears the rest of his shirt into strips. Kate takes them, and does to Jack what Jack did to Boone with the iodine and makeshift bandages.

Jack: "Michael, we didn't need that many bandages."

Michael: "It's okay. Someone else is bound to get hurt, and we'll need them then."

Kate: "Michael is right. We appreciate your sacrifice." Kate scans the specimens of male attractiveness before her. _I never realized how good Michael looks. Still have to go with Sawyer, but … what is the hurry to get off this island? A jail cell is waiting for me back home. The sights are a lot better here._

Jack: "Boone, can you walk?"

Boone: "Yes, I … ugh … maybe could use a walking stick." Boone limps around.

Jack struggles to his feet. "Same here."

Sawyer decides to get Kate's attention by breaking off two tree branches. The effort requires some exertion of his muscles, to Kate's approval.

Sawyer: "Here you go, the finest in island crutches for the Gimp Twins."

Jack coughs. "Thanks. Now we'd better get back, and see how the wounds look. Locke can find his own way back."

The group, minus Locke, goes back to the beach.

* * *

At one fifty-nine in the afternoon, Claire and Ethan, Charlie and Hurley, and Sayid set off the bottle rockets. They rise high into the air, and are visible by all. One minute later, they all turn on the power cells. Sayid gets a strong signal, and is trying to determine its direction, when he is whacked on the head from behind with a heavy log by Locke, who then smashes the radio equipment with the log, rendering it unusable.

Locke: _Couldn't let him find a way to get us off this island so soon. _Locke then circles around unseen and goes back to the beach.

Shannon is concerned, afraid of the sound of the log hitting Sayid's head. "Sayid? Are you okay?"

Sayid: "I … I will be. I can't believe it. Someone hit me on the head and destroyed the radio equipment."

Shannon: "That's unbelievable! Who would do such a thing?"

Sayid: "I don't know. The one who hates me the most is Sawyer, but it doesn't make any sense. His bottle rocket launched."

Shannon: "Maybe it was the wind?"

Sayid stares blankly at Shannon. "That would be a pretty amazing gust of wind. I wonder if someone else is on the island?"

Shannon: "You mean like the person who made the radio transmission? I … may have translated it wrong. Maybe she doesn't want to party."

Sayid: "That message was sixteen years ago. A lot could have changed since then."

Shannon: "I guess you're right. Shall we go back now?"

Shannon and Sayid go back to the beach.

The hunting group returns.

Walt: "Ha ha, Dad, what happened to your shirt? Oh." Walt sees Boone and Jack limping with bandages from a material Walt has seen before.

Michael: "There was an accident, and I donated what I could. You need to learn to be more thoughtful."

Walt: "Sorry. Where's John?"

Michael: "Mr. Locke chased the boar that injured Jack and Boone. Now did you learn anything about Sun?"

Walt: "She and Jin argue a lot. He always seems to be bossing her around, and she looks unhappy. Oh yes, she showed me this 'chia' toothpaste. Watch." Walt slides a leaf through his teeth, runs up to the shoreline, and rinses his mouth with water.

Michael: "Don't swallow the ocean water."

Walt: "Duuuuuuuhhhhhhh. I went to good schools; I know that drinking salt water is terrible for you. You'll get all dehydrated from the salt, get sick, and die if you don't get fresh water."

Michael: "Did you ever learn about respect in school?"

Locke then returns. "Sorry, I couldn't catch that boar. But I know what to do now. We have to make traps for them. The traps will be nets made out of vines, and attached to enough rocks to outweigh the boar. If you have nothing better to do I encourage you to help."

Sayid and Shannon return.

Sayid: "I regret to inform you that someone … or something … hit me in the head with a log while I was triangulating the source of the signal. There might be someone else on this island, or it could have been the wind."

Jack looks at Sayid's head.

Jack: "You definitely have a bump on the head. I'd say you have a concussion. That's something we really can't do much about out here. Get lots of rest and avoid getting hit on the head again."

Ethan: "I don't think there's anyone else here. We would have encountered them by now."

Locke: "I agree. There has been some crazy weather on this island."

Jack: "I guess that's it then. Some of us need to rest and heal."

Locke: "I think your wounds will heal quickly. This island seems to have some kind of healing powers. Notice how none of you are sunburnt."

Shannon: "Of course I'm not sunburnt. I'm an excellent tanner."

Jack: "But not all of us are … Locke may be right. We'll have to see how we are in the morning."


	7. House of the Exploding Supernova

The next day, Jack wakes up and finds his leg has healed a lot. He gets up and finds Boone.

Jack: "How is your leg this morning?"

Boone: "Much better. I thought it would take longer to heal, but I'm no doctor."

Jack: "You're right on both counts. I can walk just fine now. I'd say the wounds have healed about four times faster than normal. I can't explain it, but Locke may be right about things healing fast here on this island."

Boone: "That Locke is a pretty amazing fellow. I think I can learn a lot from him."

Jack then goes to find Sayid, who is sharing his tent with Shannon.

Jack: "Sayid, are you all right? I want to check on your concussion."

Sayid: "I'm fine. We tried some experiments. When Shannon massages my temples, there is no pain. A day or two of this and we'll be just fine."

Shannon: "Just please go away Jack, we don't need you."

Jack departs discreetly.

* * *

Walt: "Vincent ran away again. He might have gotten bored chasing that rubber ball ten thousand times yesterday."

Michael: "Will you suck it up for once? He came back before, he'll come back again. He knows where we live now."

Walt: "But there's nothing to do."

Michael: "You know, it's still possible for us do to something together. Give it a chance."

* * *

Hurley and Charlie, smiling, make an entrance to the beach camp.

Hurley: "Hey dudes, who wants to play golf?"

Sawyer: "Golf? What are you talking about, Stay-puff? Heat is messing with your mind?"

Hurley: "No, I just thought a diversion would be a good idea. Everyone is so depressed lately. We found a golf bag washed up a little ways down the shore yesterday, and I designed a four-hole course."

Jack: "Hurley has a good point. This will be good for us psychologically. I'd like to join you."

Sawyer: "Figures the good Doctor Zhivago plays golf. Golf aint my thing. I'll pass."

Kate: "Actually that sounds interesting. I have to think about it."

Hurley: "So who wants to complete our first foursome?"

Michael: "I'll give it a try."

Charlie: "Great! Let's go. The course is this way."

The foursome heads for the course, but a whiny voice catches up to them.

Walt: "Dad, you're leaving me behind with nothing to do."

Michael, overjoyed: "You called me 'Dad' again!"

Walt, annoyed: "My bad, I meant, 'hey, you're leaving me behind.' Oh, it's too much trouble to call you anything else. Anyway, there's still nothing for me to do."

Michael: "Oh. Uh, would you like to play? And then we can look for Vincent if he hasn't come back?"

Walt: "No, I never played golf and I don't like it."

Hurley: "Hey, maybe you could caddy. Lots of good golfers got their start that way. And you can make good money with tips."

Michael concocts a plan involving reverse psychology. "Oh, Walt isn't strong enough to carry that bag of clubs. Look how skinny he is. A disappointment really, you'd hope a nine-year-old would have some meat on his bones."

Walt: "I'm ten, you dummy! And I'm not some dopey weakling! Give me that!" Walt hauls the bag on his shoulder, and catches his balance. "So what do I have to do?"

Hurley: "You just carry that bag, and hand out the clubs the players ask for. We only have the one bag, so we have to share."

Charlie: "And replace divots, and rake sand traps, keep score, help look for lost balls …"

Hurley: "Don't worry about that; we don't have a rake. Let's see if you can hold up. And the doctor is here in case you need first aid."

Walt: "I won't need first aid! Come on! So what club do you want?"

Hurley: "We start with the driver. That's the wood with the number one on it. Everyone will need a ball, and we better conserve the tees. I'll show you how it's done. The first hole is a par four, three hundred yards that way. There's a long stick for the flag."

Hurley swings and hits his ball about two hundred yards, fairly straight. Charlie is next, hitting his drive a little shorter than Hurley's. Jack hooks his drive a little, about as far as Hurley. Michael slices his into the woods on the right.

Walt: "Ha ha, you stink."

Michael: "Walt! That is not how a caddy behaves. You won't get a good tip like that."

Walt: "And what am I going to do with money on this island?"

Michael: "Um … never mind, let's go find my ball."

They all walk forward, and Walt leaves the bag in the middle of the fairway. Each player takes a club for their second. Michael and Walt search in the woods for Michael's ball.

Michael: "This is what we need, some quality time together."

Walt rolls his eyes. "It might be fun watching you try to play golf."

Michael, sarcastic: "I'm glad I can be entertaining."

Walt: "Let's hope so. Here, I found your ball."

Michael: "Good job. That's impressive, to find a little thing like that out here."

Walt: "Guess I'm special."

Michael hacks his way out of the rough, with Walt laughing at every shot. Hurley, Charlie, and Jack reach the green way ahead of Michael and Walt. Walt retrieves the bag, and hands the putter to Charlie. Charlie gets his ball in the little hole Hurley dug the day before in a total of four strokes for a par, as does Hurley. Jack gets a bogey five, and Michael a triple bogey seven.

The second hole is a 150-yard par three. Jack and Charlie's tee shots are close together, and Jack gets to ask,

Jack: "Hey Charlie, how are you feeling today? And because of doctor-patient confidentiality, I can't tell anyone else anything you tell me. You look like you've been using …"

Charlie: "I'm great. Not sure what you're talking about."

Jack: "All right, but be careful. Withdrawal symptoms may reappear in another day, or a few hours. If you ever need help, you know where to come."

Charlie: "You worry too much. Enjoy the game."

Jack and Hurley go on to make pars, Charlie gets a bogey four, and Michael a double bogey five. Walt snickers as Michael smolders.

The third hole, coming back, is a 320-yard par four. Jack makes a nice par, Hurley and Charlie make bogey fives, and Michael gets a double bogey six. Walt starts to sweat from carrying the clubs, but feels better when he and unbuttons the V of his oversize shirt all the way, to the top of his stomach. However, he is walking funny, and Jack notices.

The fourth and final hole is a 130-yard par three. Charlie and Hurley hit good shots to the green, and Michael tops his drive, the ball bouncing half way to the hole. Jack slices his tee shot well to the right, and he and Walt have to search for the ball. This gives Jack a chance to talk to Walt.

Jack: "I'm not a pediatrician, but I am concerned about you. How are you holding up?"

Walt: "My feet are okay. It was a little strange without shoes at first, but I'm fine now."

Jack: "Your feet? Oh, a foot doctor is a podiatrician, with an 'o'; no wait, I mean a podiatrist." Jack is annoyed that he was momentarily flabbergasted. "I mean, it looked like you might be having some trouble back there."

Walt: "I can manage this last hole. No one is going to call me a wimp."

Jack: "I'm afraid your father kind of tricked you into caddying."

Walt: "I don't care! I have to show that I'm not some little weak kid."

Jack: "All right then. Are you sure nothing is bothering you? You've been walking … differently."

Walt: "Well, actually my underwear is pretty itchy and getting gross."

Jack: "That can happen when you wear the same underwear every day, even if you wash it. The guys might not talk about it, but I think most of them are going commando by now. It's really for the best, until we get rescued."

Walt: "What does 'going commando' mean?"

Jack: "Uh … can't you figure that out by context?"

Walt thinks for a moment. "The only thing that makes sense is … oh." Wanting to change the subject, Walt fortunately finds Jack's golf ball. "Here's your ball. And thanks, you're a better doctor than golfer."

Jack: "No problem." Jack hacks at his ball getting it up to the green, and two-putts for a bogey four. Hurley and Charlie get par threes, and Michael duffs his way to a double bogey five.

Walt: "That makes the final scores, Hurley 15, Charlie 16, Jack 16, and Michael … 23." Walt scoffs at the last result.

Hurley grins, and then his smile fades as he hears all the scores. "Argh! The numbers again!" _Have to do something to get rid of the curse._ Hurley reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "Here Walt, you did a great job caddying. Go by yourself something nice."

Walt is amazed. "Is this real? Wait, what I can buy here?"

Michael is not thrilled, but is startled. "Hurley, you carry hundred dollar bills around?"

Hurley has to think up a reason. "My credit isn't so good, so I carry a lot of cash when traveling. And too many small bills mess up my wallet."

Michael: "I guess that's reasonable. But like Walt said, how can you spend money here? I suppose he could save it for his college education."

Walt: "Forget it. We might never get off here, and then I won't have a chance to go to college."

Charlie: "Sawyer might sell you something from his stash."

Everyone breaks for lunch. Afterward, Walt approaches Sawyer.

Walt: "What do you have for a hundred dollars?"

Sawyer: "Is that bill real?" Sawyer holds the bill up to the light, and determines it is genuine.

Sawyer: "Do I have anything Half-pint could want? Here, I got a comic book."

Sawyer shows Walt the book, which includes pictures of aliens and polar bears.

Walt: "A hundred dollars for a comic book?"

Sawyer: "Take it or leave it. You won't find a better deal on this island."

Walt: "Fine, I'll take it." Walt reaches for the comic book, which causes Sawyer to recoil.

Sawyer: "P U! Tell you what, I'll throw in this deodorant stick for free. Who knew a six-year-old could stink so much?"

Walt: "Hey, I'm not six, I'm ten, you jerk!"

Sawyer: "Don't you know the rules? You called your daddy a jerk, so if you're going to call me something, it has to be something else."

Walt growls. "Just give me the stuff." Walt reads the antiperspirant stick, and makes a face when he reads [insert product placement here]. "Hey, this is for girls!"

Sawyer: "It's the same chemicals, Squirt. It's just more expensive because they sell it to women, like clothes. Now go on and get out of here before you contaminate the rest of my stash."

Walt obeys, and hurries off, "It wasn't exactly a pleasure doing business with you."

* * *

Hurley: "So who wants to try to beat the champion? You have to score under fifteen. I'll walk with you to show you where all the holes are. I can also keep score; this guy had some blank scorecards in one of the bag's pockets."

Kate: "I decided I'd like to give it a try."

Boone: "Me too. I usually play tennis at my country club, but they also have golf there."

Jin is watching the proceedings and figures out that some kind of tournament is taking place. _Sun's father forced me to learn to play so I could be in on some of those "business meetings." I can show those guys a thing or two._ Jin comes up and makes gestures to indicate he wants in.

Hurley: "Jin, dude, glad to see you want to give it a try. Anyone else to make it a foursome?"

Sayid and Shannon are content to stay in their tent all day and heal each other.

Claire: "I'm afraid I'm not in perfect shape for golf."

Ethan: _This is a chance to fit in more._ "Hey, I'll give it a go. Claire, are you sure you'll be all right?"

Charlie: "She'll be fine. I'll be around."

Ethan grimaces, and then decides he has to follow through on his offer so as to avoid suspicion. "That's very good of you, Charlie." _What am I worried about? There's no way Claire would prefer that runt to a strapping hunk like me. And maybe I'd better not come across as too possessive._

Hurley: "Then it's settled. This way to the first tee, dudes."

Hurley takes the group to the first tee, where the golf bag has been left. "We lost our caddy, so maybe one of us could carry the clubs each hole."

Boone is quick to prove himself: "I'll carry it first."

Ethan: "Ladies first?"

Kate: "If you insist."

Kate hits a mediocre drive, not too far. Boone is next and hits it farther but with a big slice. Jin hits a pretty good shot, two hundred thirty yards and straight. Then Ethan hits a tremendous drive, almost three hundred yards long with a little hook. The gallery is impressed.

Hurley: "Awesome, dude."

Kate: "You really are strong."

Ethan gulps, realizing he wasn't supposed to reveal that he has exceptional strength. "Not really, I just got lucky. The wind picked up just as I hit it."

Boone: "Oh sure, the wind. Yes, that was probably it. The same wind that hit Sayid in the head with the log."

Ethan, concerned but not showing it. "Are you suggesting something?"

Boone doesn't want to get on Ethan's bad side if Ethan really is that strong: "No, I know you were Claire yesterday. Shannon thought it could be the wind, and Sayid thought that was a real possibility, and I think I felt a breeze just then."

Kate and Hurley aren't so sure, but don't want to press the matter. Jin continues to be not much of a conversationalist.

Ethan decides that he better not show off, and deliberately does not play as well as he can. His chip shot is average, and he two-putts for par, getting the same score as Jin. Kate winds up with a bogey five, and Boone, after hacking a couple shots from the rough, gets a double-bogey six.

Kate: "My turn to carry the bag." Kate has volunteered to carry the bag on one of the short par threes, trying to give the impression that she is not the tough type with a violent past. On this occasion everyone scores a bogey four.

Boone: "Hurley, you got to something about these greens. It's impossible to putt straight."

Hurley: "Come on dude, it's not like we have a lawn mower here."

Kate: "Maybe Sawyer has one in his stash."

Ethan: _There's one in our village, but I better not mention it. _Ethan changes the subject. "Let me carry the bag on the third hole."

Ethan remembers his suspiciously powerful drive on the first hole, and deliberately doesn't hit it far on the third hole, playing in the opposite direction. "See, that got held up in the wind."

Kate and Jin hit average shots, but Boone's goes farther than the others.

Boone: "Guess the wind died down when I hit."

Kate and Hurley are uneasy as they walk down the third fairway. Jin doesn't understand what is going on, but it doesn't feel good. The foursome all make bogey fives.

Kate: "Guess we aren't professional material."

Hurley: "It takes more than a few minutes to become good at golf."

Ethan hands the golf bag to Jin for the last hole. Jin is confused until Hurley points at the other players and the bag in turn. Finally Jin gets it and carries the bag. Ethan and Jin hit good tee shots, within twenty feet of the hole.

Hurley: "Hey, you're catching on, dudes!"

Kate is next, and hits a great shot, eight inches from the hole.

Boone is last. His drive is wild to the right. It bounces off a rock near the shore, then across the fairway into a tree. The ball falls down on another rock, and bounces toward the stick serving as the flag. It bounces twice, hits the flag, then hits Kate's ball, and caroms into the cup. Boone almost faints.

Hurley: "I don't believe it, dude! You got a hole-in-one."

Boone: "Is there a prize?"

Kate: "A trip to a tropical island?"

Boone: "Is is a round trip?"

Ethan and Jin two-putt for pars, and Kate makes her birdie putt for a two.

Hurley: "Let's see, that gives Boone 16, Kate 16, Ethan 16, and Jin … 16."

Hurley gulps.

Kate: "What's wrong, Hurley? You're still champ for the day."

Hurley is shaking. "All those sixteens. Four holes, eight golfers, other scores were fifteen and twenty-three, I'm getting out of here before I see a forty-two." Hurley runs back to his tent. _I got to make more holes. And get more people to play. Why do those numbers follow me everywhere?_

The rest of the group return to camp.

* * *

Sun takes advantage of the fact that Jin is occupied with golf for at least an hour, and goes into the jungle with a pot of water to bathe in private. She finds a small clearing, checks to make sure no one else is around, and removes her shoes, blouse, and bikini top, and places them on a rock. She starts washing herself.

* * *

Michael and Walt are searching the woods for Vincent.

Walt: "We could cover more ground if we split up."

Michael thinks for a moment. "Okay, just be careful."

Walt: "Duuhh, I will be. Will you ever stop treating me like a dumb little kid?"

Michael and Walt split up, with Michael going northeast and Walt going southeast.

* * *

Back on the beach, Charlie approaches Claire.

Charlie: "Hi Claire."

Claire: "Hi Charlie."

Charlie: "You seem to be spending a lot of time with Ethan."

Claire: "So what if I am?"

Charlie: "There's something about him I don't trust."

Claire: "Nonsense. He's caring, charming, strong, and concerned about me and my baby's welfare."

Charlie: "I'm concerned about you and your baby."

Claire: "Thanks, but sometimes it seems like you're not all there, or in a different world."

Charlie sits down and shuts up before he might be requested to explain. The heroin cravings start up again, but he is determined to fight them.

* * *

Michael is searching the woods for Vincent: "Here, Vincent. Come on you mangy mutt, show yourself."

To Michael's astonishment, Vincent runs up to him. Michael asks, "Why do you keep running away and causing so much trouble?" Vincent doesn't answer. "All right, I think this is the closest way back to the beach." Michael holds onto Vincent's collar, and cuts across the jungle when he sees movement ahead in a small clearing. He freezes, and does a double take when he recognizes Sun washing herself topless. He comes up with a plan. "Vincent, can you grab Sun's clothes and run away? I'll pretend to chase you, but let you get away. Then I promise you'll get a treat."

Vincent: "Woof!"

As if Vincent understands Michael perfectly, the Labrador bolts into the clearing, seizes Sun's blouse, bikini top, and shoes in his jaws, and continues running in the same direction. Then Vincent's ears prick up. He sniffs the air. Excited, he digs a hole and buries Sun's clothes in it, covers the hole up, and runs in a new direction, to the south-southeast.

Michael gives chase: "Vincent, come back here! Bad dog! Whoops, Sun, I, uh …"

Sun, finding herself in just her black knee-length skirt, shrieks as she covers her breasts with her hands: "Hey! What? Michael?"

Michael stops and stutters: "Oh Sun, I didn't know you were here … Vincent is acting ridiculous, and I… uh …"

Sun: "Michael, we have to get my clothes back!"

Michael: "Uh yeah. I'd give you my shirt if I still had it. It got torn up yesterday to make bandages when Boone and Jack got gored by that boar." The truth hits Michael like a ton of bricks. "You speak English!?"

Sun wants to take back what she said in English, and then realizes the jig is up. "Yes, I learned English when I decided to leave Jin. When we crashed here I gave him another chance, but he still treats me like property."

Michael: _That's good news._ "What are you doing out here?"

Michael and Sun start walking in the direction Vincent ran.

Sun: "Jin won't let me be seen anywhere if I'm not all covered up, so I sneaked out here to wash while he was playing golf."

Michael: "I've noticed Jin treats you terribly. It's a shame how you have to conceal your beauty."

Sun: "Umm, thank you. But I can't go back like this."

Michael: "I suppose. Me personally, I believe in equal rights. I think that women should be allowed to go around without shirts the same as men."

Sun: "Why, how … progressive of you to think so."

Michael: "You're too good for Jin."

Sun: "Sometimes I think so … oh!"

Sun and Michael walk into a net trap. The net closes around them and yanks them off the ground, as a pile of boulders in another net twenty-three yards away falls to the ground as a counterweight. They try to get out, but the net is very well constructed, and only tightens as they move about.

Michael gallantly maneuvers himself to the bottom, so that his greater weight won't crush Sun. He struggles some more, and the net constricts further, pressing their chests together.

Sun: "Michael! You're making the net tighter by moving so much."

Michael: "I know. As long as we're stuck here, we may as well make the most of it." Michael puts his arms around Sun.

Sun's eyes widen: "Ooh." With her arms at her sides, Sun squirms, getting the net to tighten across her back to the point where she and Michael can barely move. Their breathing becomes heavy, and their lips meet. "You know, it might not be so bad if we're not found right away."


	8. Cheating at Solitaire

Walt is searching the woods for Vincent. He hears something rustling in the bushes ahead. He peeks through, and gulps when he sees Gus ambling toward him.

Walt: "ARRRGH!" Walt runs away, and Gus follows him. Walt darts into the midst of a multi-trunked banyan tree, out of reach, and then climbs it eight meters. To his amazement, he then sees Vincent, run in from the opposite direction. The two animals approach each other …

And rub noses. Then they take turns licking each other's faces. They romp around, and have a great time.

Walt: _I can't believe it. My dog made friends with a polar bear. Maybe they're in love._

Locke appears as if from nowhere. In truth he was near the caves, and heard Walt's yell. He sees Walt in the tree. Keeping his distance from the cavorting animals, he calls out "Walt, are you all right?"

Walt: "Yes, but look at Vincent and Gus."

Locke circles around, getting a view of the polar bear from behind. "That's actually a girl polar bear. We might want to rename her."

Walt: "You mean like 'Augustine'? Or 'Gussie'?"

Locke: "Maybe. Or maybe the audience can think of something better."

Walt: "The audience hasn't been very helpful so far."

Locke: "It can't hurt to give them another chance. There was nothing wrong with no one having a strong preference as to who asked Sawyer for the batteries." _Pity Sawyer had one. But no one suspects me of clubbing Sayid. Lucky how they went for the wind theory._

Vincent and the polar bear eventually amble off. Walt climbs down.

Locke: "Don't worry, Vincent will come back some time; all couples need some time apart. Now I think we better find your father to let him know that you and Vincent are all right."

Walt is recovering from the turn of events. "Yeah, I guess so. He was looking in that direction." Walt and Locke head north.

* * *

After the golf game, Jin isn't pleased to find Sun not waiting for him. He figures she is probably at her garden, but he does not find her there either. He does see a couple footprints in the dirt pointing northeast, and goes along a path in that direction. As he reaches a small clearing, he is mortified at what he sees. He freezes before Sun and Michael see him. The topless couple appears to be smiling at each other despite being wrapped tightly in the net. Even worse, it sounds like Sun is talking quietly in English. Jin erupts, in Korean.

Jin: "Sun! What are you doing?"

Sun is startled. She tries to look at Jin, but can't turn her head enough. "Jin! It was an accident!" _Oh no, I spoke in English._ She remembers to speak in Korean. "It was an accident. I was washing, and the dog ran away with my clothes, and Michael came by and offered to help look, and we fell into this trap."

Jin: "You speak English! How could you?"

Sun: "In case we separated I wanted to be prepared …"

There was no answer acceptable to Jin, so it didn't matter how or whether she finished the sentence.

Jin: "It's over! I don't want to see any of you. I'm going to try to find a way off this island by walking around it. Good-bye." Jin storms off.

Sun: "Wait! Can you please help us get out of here? We've been up here more than an hour."

Jin: "You like that man, you can stay in there together forever for all I care!" Jin disappears from sight. He finds a pack, loads it with a couple water bottles, some fish he has caught, and some fruit, and without a word begins to walk quickly up the beach, beginning a counterclockwise circumnavigation of the island.

* * *

After more than two hours of searching, Walt and Locke approach the small clearing. Walt sees Michael and Sun first, and Walt's reaction is a lot different from Jin's. Walt's eyes bug out, and he comments,

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Michael: "Walt! Don't look! Uh …" _This suddenly became real embarrassing._

Walt: "It's no big deal, Dad. There are lots of places, like South Pacific Islands, where women are bare-breasted all the time. Besides, I can't really see anything because they're squished on your chest."

Michael can't believe Walt is talking like that. "Walt! Don't say things like that. We are not on a South Pacific Island."

Walt: "Actually, we are."

Michael is struck dumb, realizing Walt's last statement is true. Fortunately Locke arrives to put an end to Michael's conversation with Walt.

Locke: "What happened here?"

Sun is too mortified to speak, and lets Michael do the talking. Michael doesn't start until Walt walks away out of earshot because he wants to avoid further embarrassment in front of his son.

Michael: "We were looking for Vincent. Guess I should have asked you for that dog whistle. Anyway, I almost found him, when he ran off and grabbed most of Sun's clothes while she was washing. We were chasing him, when we fell into this trap."

Locke looks at the trap. "This is very well designed. I should copy this to make traps for boars. But Michael, you should know that Walt was chased by Gus, or Gussie, or Augustine or something, turns out the bear is a female."

Michael: _Trapped like this, I forgot to be concerned about my son. _Raising his voice, "Walt, you were chased by the polar bear? Are you all right?"

Walt trots back: "Yes, I'm fine. I climbed a tree and got way out of the way."

Michael: "That was very resourceful of you."

Walt: "Well, duh. I'd have to be a total retard not to think of that. Polar bears can't climb trees, and ten-year-old boys can. I can climb trees better than anyone else here. And it's not like it's hard to find a tree around this place."

Michael: "Well, it's good to know that you can take care of yourself."

Walt: "Of course I can. And by the way, Vincent and the bear are in love. They rubbed noses, and played around, and everything."

Locke has finished his analysis of the trap. "If I cut this vine, you'll come crashing hard to the ground. So I'll just remove enough of the boulders in this net over here until their weight is less than your combined weight."

Michael: "Thanks. Walt, go help him. If you're strong enough, of course."

Walt is insulted, and helps Locke take out the boulders, though Walt only handles the smaller ones. It takes a good quarter hour until enough of them are removed so that Michael and Sun are lowered to the ground. Sun is still clasping Michael tightly.

Michael: "Sun, are you okay? We can get you something to wear now."

Sun finally gets the nerve to speak. "But what? The rest of my clothes were destroyed. And I don't want to impose on John or Walt." _Besides, their shirts probably stink to high heaven after all that work._

Michael: "You won't have to. I got an idea. John, could you please lend us one of your knives? And then go take Walt somewhere, and keep him occupied."

Locke: "I'm sure I can manage with the other 399 for a little while. Here." Locke places a knife, not his best one, within Michael's reach.

Walt: "What am I going to do with John?" Walt's face brightens up. "Hey, can he teach me how to throw knives?"

Michael: _Anything to get him away from Sun and me._ "Sure, if it's okay with him. Just be careful."

Locke: "I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you Michael, for letting me teach your son a valuable skill."

Locke and Walt finally head off back toward the caves, to Michael's relief. Michael and Sun disentangle themselves from the net. Once they are out, the net rises due to the weight of the boulders still left in the counterweight net.

Sun: "So what is your idea?"

Michael: "Actually I have a couple. One is we can cut your skirt horizontally, turning a midi skirt into a mini skirt, and use the bottom piece for your top."

Sun: "That wouldn't fit too well. What's your other idea?"

Michael: "We can drape some of these pretty vines around your neck, so that they cover … what you want. And your hair, push it in front of you so that it covers, you know. Your hair is just about long enough to do that, and … your hair is beautiful … and your eyes …"

Sun shakes loose from Michael. She looks at the "pretty vines." "Michael, these are poison ivy."

Michael blushes. "Oh, sorry, don't see much of that in New York."

Sun: "Let's go with your first idea. Jack has surgical thread; I can sew the … garment to make it fit better."

Michael: "All right then. Hold still." Michael takes the knife Locke lent him and carefully slices Sun's skirt horizontally. The bottom part falls to the ground. Sun steps out of it, and then pulls it over her head. It sort of fits, though it is loose at the top and bottom.

Sun: "Thank you, Michael. This will do for now. I can make alterations back home … I mean on the beach." Sun feels awkward, but it's the best that can be done for now. "I was never allowed to wear a miniskirt in public."

Michael: "That was a crime. You look terrific."

Sun: "Thank you. But we better get back now. And be careful not to fall into any more traps. Once was interesting enough for one day."

Sun and Michael return to the beach.

* * *

Locke and Walt are by the caves.

Locke: "Okay Walt, stand up straight in front of this tree."

Walt doesn't understand, but complies. Locke places a pineapple on Walt's head.

Walt: "What are you doing?"

Locke: "You'll see. Now hold still." Locke retreats ten paces, turns around, and throws a knife into the pineapple. Some juice dribbles into Walt's hair and down his neck. Walt is too much in shock to move. Locke comes over, takes out the knife and slices the pineapple some more. "How about some pineapple?"

Walt recovers after a few moments and takes and eats the piece. He looks at the knife in Locke's hand. "That was amazing."

Locke: "It just takes some practice and faith. Now come here and watch."

Locke and Walt move several steps, and then Locke throws the knife expertly at the knot of a tree. He pulls the knife out, and hands it to Walt.

Locke: "Now you try."

Walt takes the knife by the handle and brings his right arm forward. The knife spins weakly and far to the right side, landing on the ground well short of the target.

Locke: "Walt, you threw that like a girl."

Walt: "That's because of the stupid deodorant Sawyer gave me."

Locke: "Come on. Try again, but this time visualize the trajectory in your mind's eye."

Walt: "My what? Oh, never mind." Walt retrieves the knife, and concentrates on the knot in the tree. He visualizes the arc, and throws again. The knife hits the tree barely above the ground, and bounces off.

Locke: "That was a lot better, but I know you can improve."

Walt is encouraged, and gets the knife again.

Locke: "This time, hold the tip end. Hold this side, which isn't sharp, so you won't cut yourself."

Walt complies, and this time his throw lands no more than eight centimeters below the knot on the tree, and a little to the left. "Wow, this is neat!"

Walt takes some more throws, and develops a good consistency, continually hitting the tree within four centimeters of the target.

Locke: "That's great for the first day. Now I better get you back home."

Walt: "Okay. Can we do this again some time?"

Locke: "Absolutely. You have much to learn, and I have much to teach."

Locke and Walt go back to the beach.

* * *

Jin strides purposefully up the beach. It is getting close to dark when he spots a cable partially buried in the sand. He kicks it, and finds it is not carrying a live current. He picks it up, and follows one end into the water. _That must lead to something. I might be able to swim it, but might need diving equipment. Let's see where the other end goes._

A few paces into the jungle, Jin finds banana and mango trees, and then realizes he has to make camp. He eats the fish he brought, some of the fruit, and drinks one bottle of water. He then goes to sleep in the shelter of a banyan tree.


	9. Heartless and Mindless

Another new day comes, and Vincent starts it off by licking Walt's feet.

Walt: "Aahhh ha ha! Hey Vincent, you're back!"

Michael: "Good. Now don't complain that you have nothing to do."

Sun approaches, and makes an announcement. "I'm tired of hiding it. Yes, I speak English. I learned because I was going to leave Jin. I gave him one more chance after we crashed, but he still treated me poorly."

Hurley: "Didn't see that coming."

Sun: "I just wanted to be with a gentleman, like Michael here." Sun rubs her hands across Michael's shoulders.

Hurley: "Some of us did see that coming."

Sun: "Jin said he's going to walk around the island looking for a way to get us rescued. Now that that's settled, I had a slight wardrobe malfunction. Jack, do you have any more surgical thread? I need to sew this top so it fits tighter."

Now Jack can't take his eyes off Sun. "Oh, um, yes, that garment is a little loose at the top and bottom. But we're low on surgical thread, and I really prefer to use it if someone needs stitches." _And I don't mind looking at you like that._

Kate notices Jack's staring, and has an idea. "Maybe Sawyer has a sewing kit in his stash."

Sun: ""Do you, Sawyer?"

Sawyer: "Well now, I believe I do, Sunrise. But if you understand English, you should know how it works. What do you have to offer in exchange?"

Sun thinks quickly. "You can have your choice of vegetables from my garden when they're ripe. I planted seeds a few days ago, and many are already growing. I can show you."

Sawyer: "You don't have to show me; I've heard about it, and believe you. Tell you what, China Doll. I'll trust you on that, and if I ever need something sewed I can count on you."

Sun doesn't have much choice. "Fine, it's a deal, but I'm not a China Doll, I'm a Korea Doll."

Sawyer: "Just sit tight, and I'll be back in a few." Sawyer goes off to his secret location, and produces a small sewing kit. He returns and gives it to Sun. Sun then goes off into the jungle to cut and sew her new top so it fits well.

* * *

Sayid wakes up feeling no ill effects from his concussion a couple days before. When he opens his eyes, he sees Shannon next to him. Sayid no longer has the sense of urgency of getting off the island, and doesn't think of the ruined radio equipment.

Sayid: "Good morning, I'm feeling much better, thanks to you. What would you like to do today?"

Shannon: "Anything, as long as it's with you. And preferably only you."

Sayid peeks out the tent. "I think we can get the golf course all to ourselves."

Shannon laughs: "Why not? I can't play, but something tells me you're a good teacher."

Sayid: "I'm hardly a pro, but let's see what happens."

Shannon and Sayid walk hand in hand to the course. The golf bag has been left near the first tee, so the game is on.

* * *

Back on the beach, Locke is serious.

Locke: "We need meat. We have to start building boar traps today."

Boone: "Oh right, I was going to help with that yesterday, but got distracted by golf. I'll help now."

Locke: "Good. Who else?"

Michael: "I'm good at building things." _And Sun is busy with my designer outfit. _"And Walt, would you like to help?"

Walt: "I'm going to play with Vincent now that he's back." Walt begins throwing the rubber ball hundreds of times to Vincent.

Hurley: "Is this like a fish net? Jin was showing me. I can do this."

Locke: "Yes, there are elements in common with a fish net, but there is more to it."

Ethan: "I'd like to help." _Have to show that's the kind of man I am._

Claire: "I'm so proud of all of you to volunteer. That looks like it would be difficult for me in my condition."

Charlie: _Claire is not going to think I'm not helpful._ "Hey, count me in. I've had to replace a guitar string or two, I'm sure I can handle this."

Locke: "That's plenty of people for this. What we really need now is for someone to go on a water run."

Kate: "How about I do that, and then take over for someone when I get back?"

Jack: "I can't let you go alone. I'll go with Kate."

Locke: "That's settled then. For those of you making the trap, we want to form a lattice, where you have to tie a good knot at each intersection. We'll make a nice square ten feet on a side, and tie up the corners." Locke demonstrates so everyone can get started.

* * *

Jin wakes up, and climbs out of the banyan tree. He reaffirms his decision to follow the cable inland to see what it leads to. After a quick breakfast, he makes his way through the jungle, a tedious process. He is amazed at how long the cable is. After a couple hours, a thorn in a branch snags the collar of his shirt. While his attention is diverted by the effort of disentangling himself, he doesn't notice that he steps on a broken-off branch that is covered by leaves on the ground. He hears a snap, and turns his head. Too late he notices a loop in a rope close around his ankles. He is yanked off the ground. The thorn rips his shirt more, and then the back of Jin's head slams against the trunk of the tree to which the rope trap is tied. Jin is knocked unconscious, and hangs there upside-down with his shirt bunched under his chin.

* * *

Jack and Kate are on their way to the stream.

Jack: "Say Kate, we've been here a week and I just realized I don't know anything about you, except that you can sew. My back feels fine now; I would have thought that wound would take a lot longer to heal."

Kate looks at Jack's back, and agrees: "Yes, it looks like you were never hurt. And there isn't much to know about me; I'm just a farm girl from Iowa."

Jack: "You do look like the outdoorsy type. I like that. So what were you doing all the way out in Australia?"

Kate: _I'm not going to tell you I was on the run for murder and bank robbery and a few things that pale in comparison._ Fortunately Kate is a skilled liar. "I was just visiting relatives, and was on my way home. How about you?"

Jack: _I don't want to bring up my dead alcoholic loser of a father. Why did I start this conversation?_ "Same here, visiting family." _In a way that's true._

Jack and Kate reach the stream near the caves, and fill up the water bottles.

* * *

Alone on the golf course,

Sayid: "Now watch, Shannon, this is how you hold and swing a golf club." Sayid demonstrates a fairly competent shot. "Now you try."

Shannon deliberately makes a terrible swing, and misses her golf ball entirely. "I think I'm going to need a lot of lessons."

Sayid: "You have to keep your arms straight, and swing in a smooth arc …"

Shannon: "I think it would be better if you hold me, and guide me through the swing." _I hope I'm not being too obvious._

Sayid: "Okay." Sayid gets behind Shannon, reaches around her to hold the club, and swings the club with her. His body tingles as Shannon's body is pressed against his. He forgets for a minute what he is doing, and then remembers. "Do you think you have the hang of it now?"

Shannon: "That was much better. But there are so many different clubs. I think you need to show me how to use all of them like you just did this one."

Sayid: "But it's pretty much the same swing for each …" Wait_ a minute, what am I saying?_ "You're right. The clubs all have different lengths, and angles on the club faces, and … Let's go to where we hit the balls. And it is a good idea to get used to all the clubs. We should practice several times with each of them."

Shannon and Sayid go on to enjoy their game of golf, but for some reason they forget to keep score.

* * *

Locke, Boone, Hurley, Michael, Charlie, and Ethan take a few hours to make the boar trap net. Boone seems distracted and does the worst job. Locke notices but doesn't say anything if front of everyone.

Locke: "Okay, now we have to make a counterweight. We put a lot of heavy objects, like boulders, in another net. Their weight must be greater than that of the animal we are trying to catch. That net does not have to be constructed as carefully. Then we put in a trigger. Stepping on a branch will be enough to knock the net of boulders off a branch and fall down. That will tighten up and close the first net, and raise it off the ground."

The group makes the second net, and fills it with rocks and boulders, but there aren't enough around to add up to the weight Locke would like. They raise the counterweight net anyway to see what it looks like, and it is a lot of work raising it to a sufficient height. Then they cover the trigger branch with leaves.

Michael: "Are we going to test it?"

Locke: "That is the idea, but we need more weight."

Charlie: "You mean, test it by having someone step into it?"

Locke: "Do you have a better idea?"

Hurley: "So every time we test it, we're going to have to reload that boulder net and raise it again?"

Ethan, glancing at Charlie before speaking: "Then we should use a light person."

A rubber ball comes bouncing their way. Michael picks it up and sees Walt skulking over.

Walt: "Dad, I'm bored. I can only take throwing this ball to Vincent so many thousand times."

Michael: "Just a minute, I'm busy." Michael turns back to the construction group. "Hey, I just got an idea."

Hurley: "Dude, everyone on the planet saw that light bulb go on over your head. We all know what your idea is."

Everyone else nods, approving of the idea.

Michael: "I don't care, I thought of it." Michael walks around to the other side of the trap, and dribbles the rubber ball. "Walt, can you come here, we have something different for you to do."

Walt walks toward Michael, who bounces the ball a couple times and then bounces it toward Walt, though well short of him. Walt has to run a few steps to get to the ball before it stops bouncing.

Walt: "It's about time. And that was a pathetic bounce pass. No wonder you're not a pro athlete, and had to work in construction. Hey … what …!?"

Walt steps on the trigger branch. It is enough to dislodge the net of boulders, and the first net closes around Walt and jerks him off the ground. His arms and legs go through gaps in the net, leaving him pretty well tangled up. To Walt's consternation, there is much laughter.

Walt: "What's the big idea?"

Locke: "Calm down. We needed to test the boar trap, and … you did say you wanted something new to do. Now see if you can get out of there."

Walt is seething at first. "I'll get out of this and you'll all be sorry!" He settles down enough to pull his arms free inside the net. It is more work to free his legs. He has to hold on to vines with his hands and pull himself up, one leg at a time. It takes a few minutes, but then he is in better shape, placing his feet on vines between knots so he can stand upright. Next, he more calmly climbs up a side of the net, carefully placing his hands and feet as he would climb a rope ladder. There is a gap about a foot square at the top formed by the four corners of the net. He worms his way through headfirst, and then climbs down the outside of the net. Finally he drops to the sand below fifteen minutes after he was captured

Walt: "Ha! Take that, you jerks!"

Locke: "That was very good Walt, you've been very helpful. I see now that we have to design the top of the net differently. It has to cinch tighter; we can't just have each of the corners tied to the long vine leading to the other net. I have an idea on how to fix it."

Michael: "Now Walt, that wasn't so bad, was it? It looked like you enjoyed that challenge."

Walt looks at Michael, and then kicks sand on him. "You're not sorry. It might have been okay if everyone wasn't laughing at me. And you must have been a total klutz, getting stuck in that net with Sun." _It was kind of fun, but I'm not going to admit it._

Michael splutters. "That was different; with two people in the net our weight was a lot more than yours, and closed the net tighter. Also there wasn't much room with two people in there, and …"

Walt: "Stuff it. If you need to test that again, you volunteer." Walt scoops up the rubber ball and runs away, and steels himself for another marathon session of fetch with Vincent.

Locke: "Don't worry Michael, Walt deserved that. You were right; I could also tell that Walt thought that getting out of the net was fun. He still needs more time to find himself."

Kate and Jack return with the filled water bottles.

Kate is rather cheerful, as her cover story was believed by Jack: "Hi everyone we're back. What's up?"

Locke: "Good timing. Everyone should take a break, and then why don't you and Jack take over for Boone and me. We'll need more than one net. Use this one here as a model. I just need to adjust the corners so it will work better."

Jack: "Sounds good. Hydration is very important here."

After the lunch break, Locke and Boone are walking toward the caves.

Locke: "I noticed you were distracted this morning. What's on your mind?"

Boone sighs: "The same … just seeing Shannon with another man. I saw them heading for that golf course, and Shannon doesn't know anything about golf. I know it shouldn't, but it bothers me. I feel like she is going to be taken advantage of again, and I need to protect her."

Locke: "Is there anything more?"

Boone: "Maybe … I don't know … what do you think?"

Locke: "I think you have serious emotional hang-ups regarding your sister. These are unhealthy, and will destroy you if left unchecked. Fortunately, this island has the resources to address this issue."

Boone: "How do you mean?"

Locke and Boone are near the caves now. "Do you see that cave entrance over there?"

Boone looks diagonally ahead. "Yes …"

Locke steps behind Boone and delivers a karate chop to the side of his neck, knocking him out. Locke drags Boone to a nearby tree, and props him up against it in a sitting position. Locke proceeds to cut down some vines with his knife. With a short length of vine, he ties loops in either end around Boone's wrists, with the vine going behind the tree and behind Boone's back. Locke also ties Boone's feet together, and uses another vine to tie his waist to the tree. Locke then rams a knife in a tree stump where Boone can see it, but a foot away and out of reach.

Locke leaves, and goes off to mix and crush some plant leaves in a bowl. He makes a fire and boils the mixture. It forms a paste-like substance. Locke returns to Boone and waits for him to wake up.

Boone: "Ow, my head hurts. What happened?" Boone finds that he can barely move. He squirms, and feels the bark against his bare back. "You tied me to a tree? Are you insane?"

Locke: "I'm pretty sure I'm not. You will be free when you find the necessary strength to reach that knife. But you must deal with your inner demons first. This will allow you to do that." Locke pricks Boone's arm with another knife, and spreads the paste concoction into the small cut.

Boone: "You are insane!" Boone struggles to reach the knife, but his hand can only come within six inches of it. The drug takes effect.

Boone hallucinates. He hears Shannon calling for help. "Shannon! I'll save you!"

Boone's strength increases rapidly, and he is just able to force his right hand to the hilt of the knife lodged in the stump. His hands then fall back behind the tree, and he uses the knife to cut the vine between his bound wrists. Once that vine is severed, it is easy to cut through the vines around his waist and around his feet. He springs into action.

Boone: "Shannon! Where are you?"

Shannon: "Eeeek! It's taking me away!"

Boone tries to follow her voice through the jungle, and sees a retreating cloud of black smoke. He follows it, and hears a door slam. A trail of smoke disappears through the crack at the bottom of the door, which is set into a rock face. The door locks shot, but Boone manages to pry it open with the knife, finding both the knife and himself to be endowed with extraordinary strength. He opens the door and steps inside, finding himself confronted by the black smoke. Boone sees images of Shannon's boyfriends from whom he has had to rescue her, and violently slashes at the smoke.

"Take that! And that! And that!"

The smoke dissipates and streams out through cracks in the door and walls. There is dead silence.

Boone: "Shannon, are you here?"

Shannon: "Over here."

Boone follows his stepsister's voice into the next room, which features some kind of altar. Most notably Shannon, in just her pink bikini, is tied down spread-eagled on the altar. Four thick ropes secure her wrists and ankles to eye-bolts set in the stone floor.

Boone: "Shannon!"

Shannon: "Boone! Thank God you made it. Is that … thing … all gone?"

Boone: "Yes it is. But what's going on? What did that … thing … do to you?"

Shannon: "It was going to sacrifice me to the island."

Boone: "An island sacrifice? What a ridiculous concept. Let me get you out of there." Boone starts to cut one of the ropes.

Shannon: "Think for a minute, Boone. This is your fantasy. Since the danger is gone, isn't there something else you want to do with that knife?"

Boone stops, and stares at Shannon. He can't help himself. He brings the tip of the knife to the center of Shannon's chest, and then yanks the knife upward, slicing through the strap of her bikini top, which snaps the cups to the side. Shannon is breathing heavily now despite her limbs being immobilized.

Shannon: "You know what you want. Come take it, Handsome."

Boone's heart races, and he is panting heavily. He moves the knife toward Shannon's bikini bottom, and then the scene is clouded over by black smoke before it becomes too inappropriate.

Boone: "YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Boone wakes up alone somewhere in the jungle holding the knife.

* * *

Sawyer finishes reading "Slaughterhouse Five," and gets up to see what is going on. Most of the passengers are working on the nets, and Claire is watching. Sawyer decides to sit next to her.

Sawyer: "So they really are building boar traps? Claire: "I think it's great that they're all working together."

Sawyer: "Aww, isn't that just dandy?"

Claire: "I think it's sweet. I get the impression Ethan and Charlie are competing to impress me the most."

Sawyer: _What does she see in them? _"Sweet? They don't need to go to all that trouble, Sweetheart. A well-aimed bullet will take down one of those beasts."

Claire: "But you can't have very many bullets in your gun, can you?"

Sawyer: "There should be enough until we get rescued, Matilda."

Claire: "Do you always have to be so … so … ?"

Sawyer speaks in a sarcastic tone: "Who me? Did I offend you? Are you going to ask me for something from my stash to make up for it?"

Claire: "I don't suppose you have any peanut butter?"

Sawyer: "Sorry, no food. And if there were, Jumbotron over there would have found it. Anything else?"

Claire: "Let's see … how about a pregnancy test? I have a feeling I might be pregnant, and it would be nice to be sure."

Sawyer: "Now's who's being sarcastic? I might have a kit, but somebody may really need it later."

Claire: "I don't think getting pregnant on this island is a good idea."

Sawyer: "Since when do people only have good ideas? This group can't be any different. So who do you think will ask for a kit first? Kate? Sun? Shannon?"

Claire: "I can't believe you said that! I'm not going to speculate."

Sawyer: "Just trying to liven things up around this place, Mamacita."

Claire and Sawyer just sit and watch the workers building the nets.

* * *

Boone is wandering around lost, but Locke has heard his scream and finds him.

Locke: "Boone, did you experience …what you had to?"

Boone: "John! That was … mind-blowing."

Locke: "What did you see?"

Boone: "I saw Shannon, and this black smoke cloud was taking her away. It took her into some building, and then I attacked the smoke, and then … "

Locke, very interested: "Go on, this is important."

Boone, reluctantly: "Shannon was being sacrificed to the island; she was tied down to an altar, and … that's enough. I've been a monster when it comes to her. I realize now that I have to let her go. I can't always be there to protect her; she's finding someone else who is more than capable. And take this knife back: I don't want to touch it."

Boone gives Locke back the knife.

Locke: "So you are cured now?"

Boone: "Yes, I have to thank you. I felt like killing you a little while ago, but now I understand you did what was necessary."

Locke: "That's great. Now there is something of interest. You said you saw a building? On this island?"

Boone: "Actually, it was more of an underground structure, and it was on this island. There was a metal door set into a rock face, and some rooms behind it. Not so much a regular building, but there must be a better word for it … maybe a hatch?"

Locke thinks Boone's statement over carefully. "I think you're on to something. I believe this hatch of yours, or something like it, exists on this island, and we have to find it."

Boone: "Really? That was just part of a crazy hallucination."

Locke: "Perhaps. But if the island wants us to find this hatch, there is no stopping destiny."


	10. Lack of Translation

Author' notes: Thanks again for all the nice reviews! About Conmama, the truth is I felt I was neglecting Sawyer and Claire so gave them a little scene, but I am open to suggestions. Also, a few things have to happen before the hatch is found.

There is a season five spoiler in this chapter, so be forewarned.

* * *

Jin has been hanging unconscious upside-down for an hour when he is found by Danielle, who has lost much, but not all, of her sanity. She examines his backpack, which has fallen off, and slings it over her shoulder, complementing her own pack on her other shoulder. She thinks silently, _All right; I finally caught one of those Others. But why does he look familiar?_

Danielle pulls out a pair of handcuffs from her pack and clasps them around Jin's wrists, in case he wakes up. The she cuts Jin down, leaving the vine tied around his feet. She drags him through the jungle feet-first by pulling on the loose end of the vine. After a few dekameters Jin's already-torn shirt tears completely off. Danielle pauses, and retrieves it.

_This man is really good-looking. This torn shirt will be best used as a rag or bandages; he may get some cuts being dragged on the ground._

Danielle puts the torn shirt in Jin's pack and continues dragging him to her bunker. She manages to get him on a wire bed frame on his stomach without waking him. She undoes one link of the handcuffs, and then reconnects it to a bar at the top of the frame over his head. She produces another set of handcuffs from a box and attaches Jin's other wrist to the frame, close to the first one. Next, she comes up with a set of chains to chain Jin's feet to a bar at the foot of the bed frame.

Satisfied that Jin is secure, she is suddenly concerned about his cuts. Familiar with natural remedies from her long time on the island, she cleans the wounds, using pieces of Jin's shirt to dab liquid onto the cuts. Jin begins to stir. The chains are close enough together so that Danielle can flip Jin onto his back.

Danielle, in French: "Who are you?"

Jin yawns, blinks, and tries to get up. He is alarmed when he finds he cannot. _What the? Handcuffs? What happened?_ He raises his head, and discovers he is bare-chested, but is relieved to find his pants in place. He then realizes Danielle is there.

Jin, in Korean: "Who are you? Why did you do this?"

Danielle frowns. "Parlez-vous français?"

Jin shakes his head, guessing that Danielle is asking him if he understands the language she is talking in.

Danielle: "Do you speak English?"

Jin does not, but had to learn a couple foreign phrases in his business dealings for Sun's father.

Jin, in Japanese: "Do you understand Japanese?"

Danielle frowns. "Habla espanol?"

Jin, in Chinese: "Do you understand Chinese?"

Danielle, getting exasperated. "Sprecken sie deutsche?"

Jin realizes this is going to be a serious problem. Henceforth he speaks in Korean. "My name is Jin." He tries to point to himself when he says "Jin."

Danielle pokes her finger into Jin's chest and asks, "Jin?"

Jin nods. He is happy that they made progress, while annoyed at how helpless he is. "Who are you?" He lifts his head toward Danielle.

Danielle speaks in French. "I am Danielle. Don't you already know that? You must be one of the Others."

Jin does not understand. "Danielle?"

Danielle nods, and then paces back and forth. _Why does this man act like he cannot understand French or English? It does not make sense, since I will not release him if he does not give me answers. He does not act like an Other. Could he really be someone else? Wait … I remember now! He was the one who was here when my party landed on this island in the life raft!_

Danielle becomes agitated. "You! You were the one on the island when I first arrived! But … that was years ago and you look the same! How can you …?"

Jin is completely confused, not understanding a word of the outburst. _What's up with her? She sounds like she's crazy._

Danielle reconsiders. _That is not possible. Am I going crazy?_

Upset, Danielle leaves for another room, and attempts to straighten out her thoughts. Jin tests the handcuffs and chains, and finds that they are real. He tries to move the bed frame, with little effect. _How can I talk my way out of this when I can't communicate with her?_

Near sunset, Danielle returns. She runs her hands over Jin's chest as if to make sure he is real. Jin's heart races as that feels good. Then she proclaims: _These were in your pack. You need to eat._ She feeds him a banana and a mango, and holds a water bottle to his mouth so he can drink it. When he is finished, she runs her fingers through his hair, and silently retreats into another room so she can eat and then go to sleep. Jin, thoroughly confused, takes a long time to fall asleep.

* * *

The next day, Hurley wakes with a strange feeling. He decides to consult Jack.

Hurley: "I get this strange feeling, that someone here doesn't belong."

Jack: "What do you mean? None of us belong here; we were supposed to go to L. A."

Hurley: "I mean, that someone here wasn't on that plane."

Jack: "That is strange. We've all been here for so long already. But it could be a good idea, just to make sure."

Hurley: "Yeah, I wish there was some way to prove it."

Jack: "Wait a minute, there could be a way. All flights have passenger manifests. If we could find it, we could be sure."

Hurley: "Great idea. But if there were a flight manifest, where would it be?"

Dramatic pause.

Hurley and Jack: "Sawyer!"

Jack: "How can we get it from Sawyer?"

Hurley: "We have to be sneaky, like he would be. How about getting Kate to distract him, and go for a long walk, and we raid his stash?"

Jack is not crazy about that idea. "Does he have to go with Kate? Can't it be anyone else?"

Hurley: "I thought Kate might give us the most time. But if you can think of something else, go for it."

Jack: "Maybe we could just ask him for it."

Hurley: "He'll want something in return."

Jack: "Probably – hold it, I got an idea. We may be able to get him to want to show us the manifest. Remember when he was voted off the island when you held that vote? He voted for Sayid, and Sayid voted for him. We can suggest that Sayid wasn't on the plane."

Hurley: "Good idea. Maybe it was Sayid."

Jack: "Why don't you approach Sawyer? I think he resents my spending time with Kate."

Hurley: "Awww, all he ever does is insult me."

Jack: "He insults everybody. Think of it this way: you're nobody until Sawyer gives you a disparaging nickname."

Hurley: "Fine, I'll do it."

Hurley walks over to Sawyer, who is reading "Watership Down." Hurley shuffles his feet, and gets the nerve to ask, "Hey dude, any chance you got the flight manifest among your possessions?"

Sawyer puts on a show about being interrupted. "Now what could Babar want with a thing like that?"

Hurley: "Errr, it's not just for me. We think there might be someone here who doesn't belong. Someone who wasn't on the plane."

Sawyer's attention is piqued. "You mean like … a terrorist might have brought it down?"

Hurley: "Yeah, something like that. Of course we'd have to prove it to everybody, and the only way we could do that is by showing them the manifest. If you have it."

Sawyer: "You know what, Jabba? You may onto something there. I did find some paper with a list of names on it. Come to think of it, Mohammed's story about getting whacked on the head was awfully fishy. Maybe he doesn't want us rescued. Spread the news, and I'll be back within a half hour. Don't follow me."

Hurley: "Great dude, see you then."

Hurley goes back to Jack, while Sawyer disappears into the jungle.

Hurley: "Jack, it's a go. Get everybody together."

Jack and Hurley spread out. Jack informs Kate, Locke, Sun, Michael, and Walt that there will be a big meeting. Hurley sees Claire, Charlie, Ethan, Sayid, Shannon, and Boone. Ethan gets worried.

Ethan: "You say you want us together for what?"

Hurley: "A reading of the flight manifest."

Shannon: "For a minute I thought you were going to say 'a reading of the will'."

Boone is tempted to say something clever, but his hallucination is fresh in his mind and he holds his tongue.

Sayid: "Didn't it occur to you that announcing that may tip the guilty party off, if there is one?"

Hurley: "What difference does that make? It's not like a name is suddenly going to appear if it isn't already on it."

Ethan: "Hurley is right. So that will be in twenty minutes? Excuse me, I need to go use the facility and then I'll be there on time."

Ethan goes to the outhouse Michael built days before, and then dashes off to the location where he hid his walkie-talkie and calls Ben.

Ethan: "Ben, we've got a situation here."

Ben: "Oh hi Ethan, we've missed you at the Book Club. There are some stories about this fascinating girl named Nancy Drew, and she gets involved in all these wonderful adventures and mysteries."

Ethan: "That sounds great, but I've got a problem. My cover may be about to be blown."

Ben: "Oh dear. What is happening?"

Ethan: "The passengers got this idea to compare everyone with the Flight 815 manifest. Of course my name won't be on it."

Ben: "Hmm. You'll just have to say Ethan Rom isn't your real name. It's just a name you prefer to go by."

Ethan: "But I need a name from the manifest."

Ben: "Just a minute, we have a copy of that. Here it is. Now what name should we pick?"

Ethan: "Is there anyone with my initials? That would make the most sense."

Ben: "E. R. … E. R. … No, sorry."

Ethan thinks. "How about with the first two letters of my name?"

Ben:"Sounds good. E. T. … E. T. … Ha, there is one. Tell the passengers your real name is Eko Tunde."

Ethan: "Eko Tunde? That doesn't sound like it matches my … heritage."

Ben: "Don't worry about it. Parents name their kids anything these days. You can say you were adopted. And/or say you got teased a lot, like getting called 'Echo' with a 'C-H', and picked a first name with your initials."

Ethan is dubious. "I guess I can do that. Come to think about it, I don't think I told anyone my last name."

Ben: "Fine. Now let's have a progress report. How are the survivors doing? Do they have enough food, clothing, and shelter?"

Ethan: "They're doing all right on food and shelter, but there is a clothing crisis. About half of them have lost their shirts, and there isn't any replacement material."

Ben: "Oh? That's sort of amusing."

Ethan: "Well, it won't be if Hurley loses his. If that happens, I quit."

Ben: "Now calm down. I see you'll be under suspicion if you and Claire disappear now, so establish your alias and get her to the Flame within the next few days."

Ethan: "They still might be suspicious. That Charlie character definitely doesn't like me."

Ben: "Well, you have a few days to think up something."

* * *

Back on the beach, Charlie takes advantage of Ethan's absence to escort Claire to the meeting site.

Charlie: "Didn't Ethan seem suspicious just now?"

Claire: "Not at all. If you have to go, you know the expression."

Charlie: "That's not what I meant. There's something about him I don't trust."

Claire: "You're being unreasonable. Are you sure you're okay?"

Charlie: "Yes!" _I've gone a whole day without heroin. I can lick this._

They make it to the meeting site, in the middle of most of the tents.

* * *

Seth, the ignored pilot, approaches. "What's going on here?"

Jack: "Oh hi, guess we forgot about you. I told you to rest, how are you feeling?"

Seth: "I'm fine now. I've never healed from anything so severs so fast before."

Jack: "Great. We're here to check if someone here wasn't on the flight."

Seth: "Shouldn't I be in charge of that?"

Jack: "Hey, I'm the leader, and you just aren't that important."

Kate: "That reminds me, what happened to Joanna, the girl that almost drowned?"

Jack: "She's not important either now; I think she's been hanging out with Rose."

Sawyer arrives with the manifest. "Let's get this show on the road. Now about Captain Arab here …"

Sayid sighs. The name is "Sayid Jarrah."

Jack looks down the list and finds the name. Sawyer is disappointed. Jack takes charge.

Jack: "The flight crew is at the top, Seth Norris is here. And here's me, Dr. Jack Shephard. I need some last names. Kate …"

Kate: "Austen."

Jack: "Check." Kate is relieved that there is no notation by her name that might indicate why she was on the flight. Jack continues.

Jack: "Charles …"

Charlie: "Pace. And no one calls me Charles. It's Charlie."

Jack: "Check. Claire … "

Claire: "Littleton."

Jack: "Check. John Locke … oh, everyone knows your full name."

Locke: "This is a waste of my time."

Jack: "Boone …"

Boone: "Carlyle."

Jack: "Check. Shannon …"

Shannon: "Rutherford."

Jack: "Check. Sawyer … wait a minute, there's no Sawyer on here."

Sawyer: _Rats! I've been using this alias for so long I forgot. _"Look for 'James Ford,' Doctor Casey. Sawyer is a pseudonym."

Hurley: "James Ford? Why do you use a pseudo…whatever?"

Sawyer: "It's personal. I do a lot of writing. Like Tom Sawyer was a famous character even you might have heard of."

Jack: "Enough of that. He got his name without looking at the list. Let's continue. Jin …"

Sun: "Jin is not back yet, and it's Jin Kwon and Sun Kwon."

Jack: "Check and check. Ethan … "

Ethan: "Ethan is a name I use because the name my parents gave me doesn't fit. I was adopted. Ethan is based on my real initials, which come from Eko Tunde. E.T. , you see."

Jack: "Let's see, yes, there is an Eko Tunde on here. You're in the same category as Sawyer."

Through force of will Ethan avoids giving a telltale sigh of relief. Everyone buys his story except Charlie, who remains suspicious.

Jack: "Almost done. Michael …"

Michael: "Dawson."

Jack: "Check. Walter …"

Walt: "Lloyd. And it's Walt."

Jack: "Check. So that's everyone except … Hurley."

Hurley gulps, and grabs the manifest from Jack. Hurley scans it, and does not find his name on it.

Hurley: "There's no one named Hurley, first or last name. I'm the one who wasn't on the plane! Arrrrgh!" Hurley drops the flight manifest and runs off away from everyone.

Jack: "Ummm, Hurley was the one who thought of this. Did anyone see him on the plane?"

Walt: "Yeah, I did. He got on last, and gave me a thumbs-up when he saw me playing my video game."

Michael: "Yeah, I remember that."

Walt: "I smiled back at him because he had this neat comic book … hey Sawyer, is that the comic book I bought from you?"

Sawyer: "Wouldn't know, Peanut. But I think the plane did tip forward right after they closed the doors."

Locke: "You're all overlooking the obvious. 'Hurley' is just a nickname or pseudonym like 'Ethan' or 'Sawyer' here. I'll go talk to him."

Jack: "I'll come with, I started this and I'm seeing it through to the end."

Locke: "Whatever. Let's go."

Jack picks up the manifest. Jack and Locke pursue Hurley, and catch up to him by the golf course, where Hurley is winded.

Locke: "Hurley, calm down. We think 'Hurley' is a nickname. Now do you have a full legal name?"

Hurley: "Wh-wh-what? Another name?" Hurley has to think. "Oh yes, my mother calls me Hugo. And my father is Mr. Reyes. That's it, my real name is Hugo Reyes!"

Jack checks the list. "Here it is. Good, we're all accounted for. You were worrying about nothing, but it is nice to know for sure."

Hurley settles down. "Th-thanks, dudes. That is a relief."

* * *

Danielle realizes she can't keep Jin prisoner forever in her bunker. She unlocks the link of the left handcuff from the bar of the bed frame over his head, and then relocks it on his right hand. Then she unlocks the other cuffs, from his right hand entirely. She does a similar process with his feet, putting him in leg irons while unlocking the chains around his feet. Jin is bound hand and foot, but with his hands in front of him and able to move. They go outside, and Jin is able to feed himself. He makes a bid for freedom by offering in Korean:

Jin: "If you let me go, I will teach you to fish."

Danielle doesn't understand, and shakes her head. She tries to figure out what to do with Jin. She constantly keeps an eye on him, and shows him what plants are edible and how to get water out of some of them. They spend the whole day in this fashion, before Danielle displays a rifle and coerces Jin to handcuff himself to the bed frame shortly before dark.


	11. All of Us Have Issues

The next day Charlie wakes up with a craving for heroin. He is about to take a snort, when he notices Ethan charming Claire again.

Charlie: _That guy is not better than me. I can lick this._ In a surge of strength, Charlie throws his last packets of heroin into a campfire. Fifteen seconds later, _What did I do that for?_ Charlie feels stronger and stronger cravings, and steps into the jungle to avoid letting anyone see him in this state.

* * *

Sayid and Shannon wake up in the tent they've been sharing.

Shannon: "What should we do today?"

Sayid: "We need to keep up our exercise, and some exploring could be a good idea."

Shannon: "Sounds good to me."

Sayid and Shannon start off in a different direction from Charlie. Jack notices all the motion.

Jack: "Everyone should be back by noon. Be careful!"

* * *

Kate decides Jack isn't adventurous enough, so approaches Sawyer. "How about we go for a walk?"

Sawyer makes Kate wait a minute before replying. "May as well, Puddin', nothing else to do on this island."

Kate and Sawyer wander off in another direction.

* * *

Walt and Vincent play fetch for a while, and then

Walt: "Vincent and I are thirsty. We're going to get water. Should be back in an hour."

Michael: "Have a nice time."

Walt and Vincent leave in a different direction from Charlie, and Michael takes the opportunity.

Michael: "Sun, how about a nice walk in the woods?"

Sun: "Sounds wonderful."

Michael and Sun go off, in another different direction.

* * *

Locke: "Come on Boone, with everybody going off everywhere, this is a good time to look for the hatch. Be careful; we have to keep this a secret."

Boone: "All right. How do we know where to look?"

Locke: "We don't yet. We're kind of making this up as we go along. We should probably start near the caves since that's where you had your vision."

Boone: "Okay."

Locke and Boone go to the caves.

Boone: "Now what?"

Locke: "We can cover more ground if we split up. Meet back here at noon."

Boone: "But Jack wanted us all back at the beach at noon."

Locke: "Jack isn't our boss. Our work is too important. Now good luck."

Locke goes off to the northwest, and Boone to the southeast. While Boone gets lost, Locke hears a rustling noise.

Locke: _It's a sign!_

Locke is prepared, and approaches the noise, when a wild boar suddenly charges at him. Locke quickly throws a knife at the beast and kills it. _Maybe that wasn't the sign I was looking for, but we will get some real meat. This boar looks just like the one that gored Boone._ Locke hauls off the boar to the caves, and partially cuts it up to prepare a meal. He makes a fire and starts cooking it. Since it will take a while, he continues to search for the hatch.

* * *

Ethan sees a chance. "Claire, it's a beautiful day for a walk. What do you say?"

Claire: "Sounds lovely."

Ethan and Claire start off into the jungle. Ethan tries to guide Claire to the Flame.

Ethan: "Why don't we go this way for a change?"

Claire: "That looks too steep. I can walk, but I am still pregnant, remember?"

Ethan: "Uh … yes of course. I don't know what I was thinking."

Claire and Ethan head toward the point where Kate and Sawyer are headed.

* * *

Hurley notices that he and Jack are the only ones left at the beach camp.

Hurley: "What happened, dude?"

Jack: "Looks like everybody else paired off. But somebody has to stay here in case a rescue ship comes."

Hurley: _Good. I wasn't in the mood to go for a walk in the jungle with Jack. _"Guess that makes sense. Gotta do something though. How about backgammon?"

Jack: "Can't think of anything better to do."

Hurley finds the backgammon set and they start playing.

* * *

Everybody walks for an hour or so, and then Kate and Sawyer come across a pond by a waterfall.

Sawyer: "This looks like a wonderful place for a swim."

Kate: "It does look nice, but I didn't bring my bathing suit."

Sawyer: "Why is that a problem?"

Kate: "You mean you expect me to swim in my underwear?"

Sawyer: "Sounds fair to me, seeing as you ripped off my only shirt."

Kate: "I suppose you're right." She starts to unbutton her shirt.

Just then, Claire and Ethan arrive, much to Sawyer's disappointment. Kate buttons up.

Sawyer grumbles: "Well, if it isn't Barbie and Ken. What brings you out here?"

Ethan: "Just going out for a walk. Nice day, isn't it?"

Kate: "Yes. Hi Ethan, hi Claire. Aren't you kind of far out for someone in your condition?"

Claire: "I can handle it. But we should be heading back now. Wouldn't want to stress out Jack. Sometimes he can try to be so controlling, and he can make me feel like his little sister."

Sawyer snorts: "You and Doctor Kildare related? Now there's a laugh."

Kate is no longer in the mood. "Claire's right, we should get back now." She whispers to Sawyer, "We can come here again when it's more private."

Kate, Sawyer, Claire, and Ethan go back to camp.

* * *

Walt and Vincent go to the stream by the caves. They get a drink of water, and then start playing and wrestling. At one point Vincent knocks Walt down into a large pile of something disgusting.

Walt: "Ewww! What is this? Boar crap? Or Polar bear?"

Vincent: "Woof?"

Walt: "Gross! It's all over me and my clothes. Good thing I can wash up right here." Walt wades into the slow-moving stream until it is chest-deep. A thought occurs to him, and he yells, "Is anybody out there?"

There is no response, to Walt's relief. _Good thing that nobody is watching this. _He takes off his shirt and shorts, and washes the disgusting matter off them. He doesn't have underwear any more, having disposed of his only pair, then quite disgusting, on Jack's advice from when Walt was caddying. He then gets out and hangs them on a branch to dry, _Man, do I stink! _and quickly gets back in the water up to his neck. Vincent is splashing in and out of the water.

Walt: "Vincent, I really need a bath to get all this gunk off me. Now I need you to guard my clothes. I don't want to lose my shirt like everyone else is. If anything comes, bark and scare it away, got it?"

Vincent: "Rowf!" Vincent obediently sits on the bank.

Walt starts to wash the disgusting stuff off his body. _Wish I had soap. Wouldn't take so long. But … this water does feel pretty nice._ Walt is mostly clean, when he realizes there is poop in his hair. He holds his breath and dunks his head to wash that off. He pops back up, and washes his hands, feeling great and fully refreshed. "Okay Vincent, I'm ready …"

At that moment Vincent's ears prick up. Like a being possessed, he sprints at Walt's clothes, leaps and snags them in his jaws, pulls them off the branch, and sprints upstream to his new love, Gussie the polar bear, a good two kilometers away. Walt is in shock, having missed Michael's report that Vincent ran off with Sun's clothes days before.

Walt: "Vincent! Get back here!" Walt takes several steps upstream, and some toward the side, but stops when the water is only waist-deep. He realizes it is hopeless to pursue, and doesn't dare come out now. Unsure what to do, he can only thing of yelling, "Vincent, you stupid dog! Come back here with my clothes!"

Walt's shouts attract the attention of the nearest person around, which is Locke, who is in the area looking for the hatch. He hurries up, having been too far away to hear what Walt said.

Locke: "Walt! Are you in trouble?"

Walt: "Argh!" Walt crouches down so only his head is showing.

Locke: "What's the matter? You can tell me."

Walt realizes he doesn't have much of a choice. "Oh, hi John. Vincent and I were getting water, and we were wrestling, and he knocked me into this crud, and I had to wash it off, and …"

Locke: "There's nothing wrong with that. These things happen." Locke looks around and a possibility comes to him. "Don't tell me you're skinny dipping." _I can't let anybody get the wrong idea. I have to take care of this fast._

Walt: "No! I mean … (sigh) … Vincent just ran off with my clothes. Sometimes he goes crazy. I bet it's that polar bear again."

Locke: "I'm sure you're right. In that case he will be very hard to distract."

Walt: "Yeah. So, can you please get me something to wear?"

Locke: "You know there are no extra clothes around, and it would be unsanitary to lend you mine, besides not fitting, but I have an idea. This is a sign. The island will provide for you. Stay there, I'll be back soon."

Walt: "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere like this."

Locke leaves and goes to the cave where the boar is cooking. He cuts off some pieces of its skin, and suspends them over the flame to clean them. _It isn't much, but it will do for now._

* * *

Michael and Sun, and Shannon and Sayid, have nice uneventful walks. They return a little before noon, as do Kate, Sawyer, Claire, and Ethan. Charlie staggers back unsteadily, fighting his powerful cravings. Hurley tabulates the backgammon score in his match against Jack.

Hurley: "I knew I was a good player. Walt was ridiculously lucky. Let's see, I won fifteen games, and you eight … that's twenty-three games … Arrrgh! The numbers again! This can't be happening!"

Jack: "Calm down. It's just a meaningless coincidence. We'll play another few games, and then there will be different numbers."

Hurley is shaking. "Please hurry."

Jack: "Now let's make sure everyone is here." Jack takes a visual survey, and comes to an alarming conclusion. He races to Michael.

"Michael! Walt is missing!"

Michael is not concerned. "Cool it, Jack. Look around, John and Boone aren't back either. Walt's probably hanging with them. John's a good caretaker. And besides, Vincent is with Walt."

Jack: "I can't let anything happen to anyone. I can't rest until I know everyone is safe."

Just then, Boone staggers out from the jungle, a ways down the beach as his sense of direction was a bit off. Michael and Jack walk up to Boone.

Michael: "Hey Boone, were you and John hanging out with Walt?"

Boone: "Walt? No, we haven't seen him since this morning."

Michael: "Where's John?"

Boone: "Oh, you know John, he's doing some island thing."

Jack: "Everyone it's official! Walt is missing! We have to find him!"

Michael: _Walt! Why do you have to give me so many problems?_

* * *

Danielle decides her keeping Jin prisoner is not being productive.

Danielle: _I know; I'll release him, and follow him to his people, whoever they are. Then I will learn something._ Danielle releases Jin from the handcuffs, points a rifle at him, and gestures for him to leave.

Jin doesn't understand what is going on, but has the presence of mind to leave given the opportunity. Unfortunately he doesn't know where he is, having been unconscious when Danielle dragged him to his bunker. Jin moves in random directions, while unbeknownst to him Danielle is tracking him.

Danielle: _Doesn't he know where he's going? Is he crazy?_

* * *

Locke comes back to the stranded with two pieces of material, roughly rectangular and elongated in shape.

Locke: "Here, I was able to cut some skin off the boar I just killed."

Walt, who has been standing, kneeling, and sitting in the stream for an hour: "What took so long?"

Locke: "I had to cut it carefully, clean it, and sterilize it carefully by suspending it over a flame."

Walt tries to determine what the two pieces are. "Is that all you got?"

Locke: "You told me to hurry, and this is the best I could do. Now take this piece, and tie it around your hips, almost as loosely as possible. You'll need some space, because this piece gets threaded front and back through the waistband, and then tie the ends together between your legs so it will stay in place. I'll hang these up here and give you some privacy. I'll be back in ten minutes." Locke hangs the pieces on a low branch and goes back to the caves to wait.

Once Locke is gone, Walt wades out of the stream. He takes the first piece of boarskin, about eighty centimeters long and no more than one centimeter wide, and ties it around his waist like a belt. He then tries to slip the other piece between his body and the waistband, but the latter is too tight. _John did say to tie that loosely._ Walt tries again, this time tying the waistband just above the widest point of his hips, and just tight enough to stay on. Next he works the other piece, about eighty by twenty centimeters, but cut narrower in the middle and the ends, between the front of his body and the waistband, between his legs, over the waistband in back, and back down, tying the ends as instructed. It fits very well, just a little loose, and covers Walt enough to be decent, but that's all. Walt is annoyed at how much of his skinny body is exposed.

Locke returns, and Walt stands behind a tree.

Locke: "You okay Walt? How does it fit?"

Walt: "Are you crazy? I can't go around like this. Make me some better clothes."

Locke is taken aback at Walt's ungratefulness.

Locke: "What's gotten into you? You're from Australia. You must realize there have been lots of Aborigines who wore loincloths like that, though maybe not out of boarskin, their entire lives."

Walt: "I'm not an Aborigine. I was born in the United States."

Locke: "Still, you could be more grateful. If it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck in that stream. You have anger issues. I may have misjudged you. I should have treated you more like a child like your father does."

Walt: "No! What are you talking about?" Walt steps from behind the tree.

Locke: "I could help you like I helped Boone, but he's a grown-up."

Walt: "I'm big enough for anything!"

Locke: "You sure you want to be treated like an adult?"

Walt: "Yes! I'm not a little kid."

Locke: "Okey dokey."

Locke swiftly presses his thumbs on Walt's carotid arteries, knocking him out after a few seconds. Then Locke stands Walt up against a tree, and with a short length of vine, ties loops in either end around Walt's wrists, with the vine going behind the tree and behind Walt's back. Then Locke ties a longer vine fairly tightly around Walt's ankles, and ties that around the tree. Lastly, Locke rams a knife in a branch where Walt can see it, but half a meter away and well out of reach. Locke leaves, and then returns with the pasty drug concoction he gave to Boone a few days before. A few minutes later Walt wakes up.

Walt: "Huh? What happened? Hey!" Walt finds that he can't move his feet, and can only move his hands a few centimeters. "You tied me to a tree?!" Walt squirms, and feels the bark against his bare back. "And … I'm still wearing only this little boarskin loincloth? I feel ridiculous like this. What's the matter with you? Let me go!"

Locke: "You will be free when you find the necessary strength to reach that knife. But you must deal with your inner demons first. This will allow you to do that." Locke pricks Walt's arm with a knife, and spreads the paste concoction into the small cut.

Walt: "You're crazy! I'm going to get you for this!"

Locke: "I doubt that. I have to go now, and meditate in my cave." Locke walks away.

Walt: "Hey, you can't leave me like this!"

Locke, in a voice somewhere between a threat and a laugh: "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Locke leaves Walt all alone. Walt struggles, with no success. Then he starts hallucinating. He sees images passing before his eyes. Boone is tied to a tree, sort of like Walt is. Shannon is tied to the floor in some strange building, even if it is part of Boone's hallucination. Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley are bound and gagged on a dock. Michael is tied to a post in an unknown location.

Walt becomes lucid enough to rant for a second. "Ha ha, Dad, you deserve it!"

The hallucinations resume. Jin is handcuffed to a bed frame. Sayid is handcuffed in some kind of prison cell. Sun is stuffed into a large bag and carried off. Charlie is dripping wet and tied to a chair. Claire is strapped to an examination table, with syringes aimed at her belly. Locke is pinned to the floor of some strange building by a heavy blast door. Walt suddenly understands.

_I understand now. I want to be treated like an adult, and not some stupid little kid. I see now, that every grown-up on this island gets tied up in some form, so it was my turn._

"YAAAAH!"

Walt wakes up in a sweat, still tied to the tree. His arms are more slippery from the perspiration, but it is not enough to pull his hands free, or bend enough to reach the knife. He struggles for a few minutes, and then has to give up. Secured immobile to the tree, he feels he has to explain. "Hey John, it's over, I understand now. All the adults here get tied up some way, so if I want to be treated like one, I needed to be tied up. But it's over now, and I still can't reach the knife. Let me go!"

There was no answer. John is hiding out of sight.

Locke: _Very good, Walter, but you must complete the experience. Find a way to free yourself. Have faith in the island._

* * *

Jack: "We have to organize a search party for Walt."

Charlie: _I have to impress Claire._ "I'll find him!"

Ethan: "I think I'm in better shape for that." _Time for some reverse psychology._ Oh Claire, I'll guess you'll have to stay behind."

Claire: "No I don't. I hate being useless; I want to help."

Ethan puts on an act and hesitates, and then replies, "All right, if we stick together." _And this time we're going to the Staff for sure._

Claire: "That's fine with me."

Boone:_ I want to be a hero._ "I'll go look."

Shannon: "I can help too."

Sayid: "I should go also."

Hurley: "Count me in."

Kate: "I'm an excellent tracker."

Sawyer: "If you're going, then I ought to also."

Jack: "That's plenty of volunteers. Now some of us have to stay here in case he comes back on his own. Michael, I imagine you're too distraught to look, so you better stay here."

Michael, annoyed but not really distraught: "Whatever you say, Doc. I'm sure you're worrying about nothing."

Sun: "I better stay with Michael to make sure he's okay."

The search party goes into the jungle and spreads out.


	12. Not So Special

Author's note: Due to my work situation, it is very likely that I won't be able to update this as often as I have. I don't think I want to suddenly start submitting much shorter chapters. Again, thanks for the reviews, especially MyLuckyWhistle, for the reviews that keep me going.

* * *

Walt hates the prospect of someone else seeing him tied helplessly to the tree in nothing but a skimpy boarskin loincloth, but has no choice but to be further humiliated. "HEEELLLP!"

Vincent, having romped around enough with Gussie the polar bear, hears his master's voice and comes running up to Walt.

Walt: "Vincent, look what happened to me because you ran off with my clothes. Where are they now? Oh, never mind, can you chew through this rope?"

Vincent doesn't understand, and gets up on his hind legs and licks Walt's face instead.

Walt: "No, Vincent … hey, can you get that knife?"

Vincent follows Walt's eyes, and trots over to the knife. The Labrador bites the knife around the hilt and pulls it from the branch it is lodged in.

Walt: "Good boy! Now, can you cut these ropes?"

Vincent looks confused. Without opposable thumbs, he is not up to the task.

Walt: "That's okay boy, just give me the knife. I can cut myself loose with it." Walt wiggles his fingers behind his back. "C'mon Vincent, please give me the knife."

Vincent takes a couple steps toward Walt, then turns and runs off, disappearing into the jungle to show off the shiny treasure to his love Gussie. Walt can't believe it.

"Vincent, you stupid dog, get back here!" Full of anger, Walt finds the strength to bend the tree and contort himself enough to reach where the knife had been, but after a few seconds, the rope pulls his hands back behind the tree. "Dang it! John, I am so going to get you for this." Having used up his strength, Walt is forced to stand still, and plaintively shout for help from time to time.

* * *

Claire and Ethan are searching for Walt, or so Claire thinks. Ethan has surreptitiously taken his pack, which holds a variety of medical equipment and the walkie-talkie.

Ethan: "We should look somewhere where no one else is."

Claire: "Sounds reasonable."

Ethan leads Claire on a circuitous route toward the Staff. The path is not as steep as the direct route he tried to take her on earlier, and Claire does not get suspicious. They go around to the west and then the north, avoiding the caves and the pond by the waterfall.

* * *

Hearing Walt's occasional shouts for help, Boone comes by, to Walt's relief.

Boone: "Hey Walt, what happened to you?"

Walt: "That idiot John tied me to this tree, drugged me with some goofy paste to make me hallucinate, and just left me here. There was a knife I could almost reach, but Vincent ran away with it and I can't get loose. Can you please untie me?"

Boone quickly assesses the situation: "Sorry, no can do. John would kick my butt if I interfered with his plan for you."

Walt: "Say what?"

Boone: "John did something like that to me, too. I had some issues, and he straightened me out. He's really in his environment here and knows what he's doing. I was able to reach his knife and cut myself loose, and it would be a disservice to you not to let you have the same opportunity."

Walt: "But … but I don't even have the knife any more. This isn't fair."

Boone: "Maybe you'd better find a way to summon Vincent."

Walt: "Thanks a lot." Walt closes his eyes, concentrates, and yells, "Here, Vincent." Nothing but silence. "That didn't work."

Boone: "Keep trying, I'm sure something will come up. It is good to see you're okay."

Walt: "Okay? I'm tied up to a tree and can't get loose!"

Boone: "But you're not hurt and your mind is fixed now. That's what is important."

Walt: "Well, yes, but … fine, I get the picture. If you're not going to untie me, can you stick around and talk to me until someone comes who will? I hate being tied up all alone."

Boone: "I suppose I can. What do you want to talk about?"

Walt: "I don't know. Do you like dogs?"

Boone: "Dogs are okay. Shannon likes them a lot, though she probably wouldn't admit it. Yours does seem to have behavioral problems."

Walt: "Yeah, didn't exactly come to his master's aid. Maybe I'll let Shannon have him for a few days some time, see if she can do better."

Boone: "Maybe. Quiet, I think someone's coming." Footsteps are heard in the distance. "Got to go. Good luck." Boone walks off.

Walt, sarcastically: "Thanks for all your help." A minute later, "Is someone there? I could use some help."

* * *

Kate, Sayid, and Hurley search for Walt in three different places, but are not near him.

* * *

Charlie is suffering severe withdrawal symptoms and walking unsteadily through the jungle. He hears cries for helps, and eventually clumsily comes up to Walt. Charlie rubs his eyes, not sure if the nearly nude tied up boy is a hallucination. Charlie decides he has to find out for sure. "Is that really you, Walt?"

Walt: "Yes, it's me."

Charlie: "How did you get like that?"

Walt: "John had this crazy idea to help me. He knocked me out, tied me up, cut me, and put some drug paste on the cut to make me hallucinate. I was supposed to be able to reach a knife and cut myself loose, but Vincent ran away with it. So can you please untie me?"

Charlie: "You said John has a hallucinogenic drug? Where is he?"

Walt: "Yes, he's probably at his hideout by the caves." Walt jerks his head in a direction behind him, as he can't point his arms.

Charlie: "Thanks." Charlie starts staggering toward the caves.

Walt: "Hey! Aren't you going to untie me?"

Charlie: "Normally I would, but when you're in a desperate state like me, the craving for drugs overpowers everything else, preventing you from doing things you normally would. Sorry."

Walt: "Can't you help me at all?"

Charlie: "I can give you advice. Say 'no' to drugs." Charlie walks out of sight.

Walt: "What! Well, if you see someone other than John, please let them know I'm here and need help." Walt sighs, and bangs the back of his head lightly against the tree, since he can't do much else.

* * *

Boone is walking toward the caves, when Locke sneaks up from behind.

Locke: "Boone, what just went on back there?"

Boone: "I'm part of a search party looking for Walt. I found him as you left him, according to him. I figured you were treating him like you did me, so I left him."

Locke: "Excellent, you did the right thing. Walt must find his own way."

Boone: "It's going to be hard for him. His dog ran off with the knife."

Locke: "Vincent did? Well, the island must be willing it. We must let it play out."

Boone: "Someone else was coming, so they'll probably let him loose."

Locke: "If that happens, so be it. It would be best if he frees himself unassisted, but come what come may. Now I'll stay here to keep an eye on things, and you can go look for the hatch again."

Boone leaves.

* * *

After several minutes, Walt tries, again. "Is anyone out there?"

Shannon makes it through the forest and can't believe her eyes. "Walt! What happened to you?"

Walt is annoyed that a girl found him in his current situation, but then decides that since she has had to parade about in her bikini for more than a week, this might be fair. He takes a deep breath and explains.

Walt: "That's just what Boone said. John had this stupid idea about helping me, and tied me up and drugged me. I was supposed to be able to reach a knife and cut myself loose, but Vincent ran away with it."

Shannon: "You said Boone was here? And left you like that?"

Walt: "Yeah, he said he didn't want to interfere with John's experiment, or whatever you call it. He said John would kick his butt."

Shannon: "That's terrible. John has Boone completely under his control.  
That John gets me so upset that one day I could see myself shooting him."

Walt: "I wouldn't blame you. I'd like to do something to him myself."

Shannon: "Well, let's get you untied." Shannon starts on the knots around Walt's wrists, but finds them very tight. She gets a knot around his ankles a little looser, and has to pause for breath. "John certainly makes good knots."

Walt: "Yeah, can't argue with that."

Shannon: "Sorry, I need to rest a minute so I don't aggravate my asthma. How are you holding up?"

Walt: "Apart from feeling like an idiot tied up like this I guess I'm okay. My shoulders are getting sore, though, from my arms being tied behind my back for so long."

Shannon: "I think I can do something about that." _And give me good practice for Sayid._ Shannon gives Walt a quick shoulder rub.

Walt: "Ahhhhhh. Thanks, that's much better."

Shannon: "You're welcome. Now let me have another go at those knots." Shannon tries again and soon, "Oww!"

Walt, alarmed, "What is it?"

Shannon: "I broke a nail. It hurts."

Walt, rolling his eyes. "Does that mean you can't untie me?"

Shannon: "I'm afraid so. I have to see Jack to fix my nail. Sorry."

Walt sighs: "I can hold out until you send someone else."

Shannon looks at Walt. "You know what; you're just the cutest thing." Shannon musses up Walt's hair. Walt grits his teeth and bears it. "You know, I wish I had a little brother like you instead of a big brother like Boone."

Walt is not about to antagonize Shannon. "It would have been neat having a sister like you. Vincent's been great, but he's been acting strange on this island."

Shannon heads back toward the beach.

* * *

Charlie is looking for Locke at the caves. In his near-delirious state, Charlie gets confused, and enters the wrong cave. Not finding Locke, Charlie shouts: "Hey John, you in here?"

The force of Charlie's voice causes the unstable cave entrance to collapse, trapping him inside. He gets pinned to the ground by debris.

Charlie: _Bummer!_

* * *

After several more minutes of futile struggling, Walt gets anxious again. "Help, is anyone out there?"

This time Sawyer finds Walt. Sawyer blinks, not believing his eyes at first. He is simultaneously relieved that Walt is safe, and remembers how Walt laughed at him when Sawyer was tied up after being forced to listen to Charlie's repetitive music.

Sawyer: "So what is this? You trying out for the part of Boy in a Tarzan movie?"

Walt: "No! This was John's idea. He made this boarskin loincloth for me after Vincent ran off with my clothes, but then he knocked me out, tied me up, and drugged me, and said it would solve my issues. Then I was supposed to cut myself loose with a knife, but Vincent ran away with it."

Sawyer: "Old Baldy really tied you up like that? That's quite a weird game you two got there, Short Round."

Walt: "It's not a game. It's just stupid. The old guy is crazy. So Sawyer, can you please untie me?"

Sawyer ponders the situation. _The kid needs to learn not to mess with me, and Locke must be around here somewhere._ "I don't know. Let's see, you destroyed a pack of my cigarettes, and what was it again that you did to help me when I was tied up? Maybe I shouldn't bother, and just leave you and Cue Ball to your survival training, or whatever you call it."

Walt: "No, don't leave me! Now you're sounding like Boone."

Sawyer scowls. "Don't ever compare me to that pretty boy, Webster."

Walt: "Sorry, it's just that he was too afraid to mess with John. So Sawyer, how about untying me now?"

Sawyer: "I need to think about it." Sawyer thinks for a minute, and comes up with, "So Gazoo, what's in it for me?"

Walt: "What do you mean what's in it for you?"

Sawyer: "Now if you expect a favor from me, Tattoo, you better be prepared to give something in return."

Walt: "A favor? Why wouldn't you just untie me out of the goodness in your heart?"

Sawyer: "Don't you know, there's not a lot of goodness in my heart, Antwone."

Walt: "I can tell; that's just a front you put on. I bet that if it came down to it, you'd take a bullet for me."

Sawyer: "Now hold on right there, Short Stuff. I've got a reputation to maintain. You're getting way ahead of yourself."

Walt loses his patience. "Will you lay off with all the stupid nicknames? You don't want to use them all up in one scene!"

Sawyer laughs. "Don't you worry your little head about me running out of nicknames, Mowgli. And I'd say you're in no position to tell me what to do."

Walt: "Now you're sounding like John."

Sawyer: "And don't compare me to that nut case either, Shorty."

Walt erupts: "And lay off with the short jokes! I'm on the verge of a major growth spurt! Before you know it, I'll be taller than you, and have bigger muscles than you, and a deeper voice than you or anyone around here. And when that happens I'm going to pound you, you … you … hillbilly!" Walt glares at Sawyer and puffs out his chest, to little effect.

Sawyer can't help laugh at Walt's attempt at a biting nickname, throws his hands up and in a mocking tone exclaims: "Ooooo, I'm scared." Sawyer runs away back to the beach.

Walt finds the strength to bend the tree a little, and scrape the rope binding his hands against the trunk, but it isn't close to being enough.

* * *

Shannon returns to the beach, but unfortunately forgets about Walt. "Jack, I need medical attention. I broke a nail, and it hurts."

Jack: "You came to the right place. There are still a few painkillers left, and I can bandage your nail in place so it will heal properly."

Shannon: "Thanks."

Jack gives Shannon a pill to swallow, and wraps her finger with a band-aid.

* * *

Claire and Ethan have walked a long way, when Claire gets suspicious.

Claire: "Ethan, Walt can't possibly be this far out from our camp. We should head back."

Ethan: "Okay, we'll stop." Ethan takes off his pack, and pulls out a syringe. With his great strength, he holds Claire's arm with his left hand, and jabs her in that arm with the syringe using his right hand.

Claire: "OWWW! What are you doing?"

Ethan: "It's just a little necessary injection."

Claire: "Injection? What for? I'm getting sleepy. Hey, are you kidnapping me?"

Ethan: "You could say that. We need to observe you and your baby."

Claire: "Wait—who's 'we'?"

Ethan: "Oh … some friends and colleagues. I can tell you this because that drug I gave you will make you forget everything that happened in the past hour."

Claire: "You're causing me to get amnesia? That's a rather overused and lame plot device."

Ethan: "Sorry, it's all we got."

Claire collapses into Ethan's arms. He carries her toward the Staff. They get well away from the rest of survivors, with the exception of Jin, who is wandering around lost somewhere between them and the Staff, and being followed by Danielle.

* * *

Sawyer returns to the beach. _This should be good._ "Hey Mike, maybe you want to know, Ol' Johnny Locke and Load got that brat of yours tied to a tree."

Michael: "John Locke did what? Where?"

Sawyer: "Looks like they're playing Tarzan. No sweat, the boy's fine, he's right by the path to the caves."

Shannon: "Oopsie, I forgot, yes, Walt is tied to a tree out there somewhere. But he's holding up fine. I never realized he was so adorable."

Michael: "Thanks for telling me. I have to have a word with John. Sun, you'd better stay here."

Sun: "Now Michael, don't do anything you'll regret."

Michael: "Oh, I'm sure I won't."

Sun is worried, but lets Michael go. When Jack can't hear, "Shannon, there are natural remedies for your nail problem. When Jack's stuff wears off, I can show you."

Shannon: "Thanks, it's been a weird day. What do you think Michael will do?"

Sun: "I'm not sure. I hope a big fight doesn't break out."

* * *

Michael strides forcefully toward the caves. "Walt! John! Where are you?"

Walt: "Over here!"

Locke hears anger in Michael's voice, and decides he should get there to tell his side of the story. _Have to face Michael some time; may as well get it over with._ "Coming!"

Michael barely stifles a laugh at the sight of Walt trussed up nearly naked. "What is going on here?" Michael demands.

Walt explains: "John went crazy! He tied me up and drugged me."

Michael: "What happened to your clothes?"

Walt: "I was taking a bath in the river and Vincent was guarding them, but instead he ran off with them. It was weird, like someone trained him to run off with people's clothes."

Michael remembers getting Vincent to run off with Sun's clothes, and can't help but chortle: "That's some dog you got there."

Walt, indignant: "Don't laugh at me! Then John came by with a boar he killed, and made me this loincloth out of its skin. I said there was enough material to make a lot more than this, like a shirt and real shorts, and then he knocked me out. I woke up like this. This is so humiliating, and I can't stand it!"

Michael, finding this hard to believe. "John, is this true?"

Locke arrives and takes a deep breath. "Yes, but there's more to it. It took a fair amount of effort to cut that boarskin right and sterilize it. Sterilizing larger pieces would have taken a lot more time, and I wanted to get him decent as quickly as possible. Walt was quite ungrateful. I then asked if he wanted to be treated like an adult, and he said yes, so I administered the same treatment that straightened out Boone. I applied this paste to a cut, and Walt must have hallucinated, realized what his hang-ups were, and woke up with a clear mind. Did you Walt?"

Walt: "Yes, I understand now. If I want to be treated like a grown-up, I have to accept things that happen to them. All the grown-ups here get tied up in some form sooner or later, so it had to be my turn some time. But I sure didn't need to be tied to this tree for six hours!"

Michael: "What? I'm going to be tied up at some point in the future?"

Walt smirked. "Yes. You're going to be tied to a post, a lot like me now. You are so going to deserve it."

Michael: "John, is this really going to happen?"

Locke: "If we all choose a certain path, that all will happen. But I'm not sure the future is set in stone. We shall have to see."

Walt: "Since that's over with, can you untie me now?" Walt realizes it might have been a bad idea to smirk at Michael.

Michael: "So John, how was this test supposed to turn out?"

Locke: "In the process Walt should have found the strength to reach a knife I stuck in that branch there, but … it's missing. Walt, what happened to that?"

Walt: "Vincent came when I called, pulled it out, and then ran away with it."

Michael once again barely avoids laughing, and then composes himself. "That dog of yours is really a winner." Michael walks around the tree, and examines the knots binding Walt's hands, and then the vine tied around Walt's lower legs. "These are very good knots. They would hold up in the construction work I did in the real world." Michael faces Locke, and with a serious face makes his judgment. "So you really tied up my son? Left him tied to a tree in nothing but that dinky boarskin loincloth?"

Locke, bracing himself: "Yes I did."

Michael: "You know what I'm going to do to you?"

Locke, nervous. "No, Michael, I don't know."

Michael: "I'm going to shake your hand!" Michael shakes Locke's hand enthusiastically.

Locke, stunned: "Okay … why?"

Walt: "WHAT!"

Michael: "You know, John, I've been wanting to do something like that to him almost from the minute I got custody of him, but didn't have the guts."

Locke, relieved: "That's quite all right, Michael. Civilization has rules that sometimes get you in trouble for doing the right thing. But on this island, the rules are much more sensible."

Michael puts his hand on Locke's shoulder in a friendly gesture: "Glad you see it my way. How about we grab a beer?"

Locke: "That sounds great. We haven't found beer yet, but it's the thought that counts. Let's go."

Walt: "Hey, what about me?"

Locke: "You're too young for beer, but here." Locke holds a bottle of water to Walt's mouth, and Walt drinks. "That will keep you going long enough." Locke starts walking away with Michael.

Michael: "I am still responsible for Walt. Will he be okay out here?"

Locke: "Mike, your boy is special. Nothing on this island is going to harm him."

Michael: "That's good enough for me."

It is not good enough for Walt: "Hey, I still can't get loose! Untie me! You can't leave me like this!"

Michael and Locke in unison: "Don't tell us what we can't do."

Michael and Locke leave Walt, and head for the beach. Walt's anger soars, and a large black bird suddenly swoops by, poops on Walt's head, and croaks a word that sounds like "Hurley." The bird loses a feather that floats to the ground, landing near Walt's feet. Walt growls. _I don't feel all that special today._


	13. No Harm Done, No Foul Called

Ethan is carrying Claire to the Staff. He is skilled at not making noise when walking through the woods, so he hears Jin up ahead stumbling around. Ethan puts down Claire, and takes a sling and a rock from his backpack. He whirls the sling around, and lets go of one end as Jin gets into range. The rock strikes him in the chest, and knocks him out as he falls to the ground. Danielle sees Jin goes down and hides.

Ethan approaches the unconscious body. _Figures he lost his shirt like everybody seems to be. But this is the one who doesn't speak English. I got an idea._ Ethan writes a note and stuffs it in Jin's back pocket. The note reads,

"Dear Oceanics,

Ethan and I found a great place to stay for a few days. We have enough food and water, but it is only big enough for two people. We met Jin so we're giving him this note to take to you. Don't worry about us, we are fine.

Love, Claire"

Since Ethan doesn't want Jin to remember being attacked, he gives Jin an injection of the amnesia-inducing drug. Ethan then picks up the still unconscious Claire and carries her away.

Danielle is upset, both at seeing Jin knocked out and at a pregnant woman being abducted. She has to make some decisions. After Ethan leaves, Danielle goes to Jin. She is upset to see the bruise forming on his chest, and rubs it in a hope that will lessen the injury. When Jin starts to stir, she runs away. She makes a note of the location, so she will be able to follow his tracks later.

* * *

Michael and Locke are walking toward the beach, having left Walt behind.

Michael: "I can't go back to the beach after Sawyer told me where Walt was."

Locke: "I suppose you're right. Why don't you hang out here, and wait for him?"

Michael: "Fine. If he isn't free by nightfall I'd better untie him or I'll look real bad."

Locke: "Sounds fair. I have something else to do." _See what Boone is up to._ Locke leaves Michael alone, and makes a circuitous route to the caves, avoiding Walt.

* * *

Walt is low on energy and just stands in place tied to the tree. He gets sarcastic. "Is anyone there? I could use some help, but if you're not going to help me, just stay away."

In several more minutes Hurley comes by, shocked at seeing Walt in his predicament. "Whoa, little dude, what happened?"

Walt is desperately hoping to get freed this time. "John had this crazy idea to help me and tied me up, and left me here."

Hurley, still having a hard time believing, walks around the tree. "That John does seem crazy a lot of the time. He really tied you up good, didn't he?"

Walt sighs: "Yes. He left a knife, but Vincent ran off with it. I've been trying hard to get loose, and just can't. I must have been like this for six hours. Could you please untie me?"

Hurley: "Sure, let me help." Hurley tries to untie the knots, but they are too tight for his plump fingers.

Walt, concerned: "What's wrong?"

Hurley: "Sorry, dude, these knots are too tight for my fingers."

Walt groans: "Every time someone finds me, there's some reason they can't free me. I just had to spend the entire last episode tied to this tree in only this stupid boarskin loincloth!"

Hurley giggles for a second, and then recovers. "That's terrible. I guess there is the question of how …"

Walt interrupts to diminish his humiliation: "John made it for me after Vincent ran off with my clothes. Please do anything to get me out of here; I can't take it much longer."

Hurley: "Let's see what else we can do. Maybe we can weaken the vine by rubbing it against the tree." Hurley grabs hold of the vine connecting Walt's wrists and slides it back and forth. He thinks it's working, but it is too uncomfortable for Walt.

Walt: "Ow, you're hurting my shoulders when you do that."

Hurley stops. "Sorry, I thought I was on to something there." Hurley notices the black feather near Walt's feet. "What is this doing here?"

Walt: "This stupid bird flew by and pooped on my head. It stinks that I can't reach it and get rid of it. That goofy bird made a noise that sounded like your name."

Hurley: "Really? That's odd." Hurley bends down and picks up the feather. As he does, a strange look comes over his eyes.

Walt: "What's the matter? You look crazy."

A wicked look comes over Hurley's face. "It's rude to call someone crazy."

Walt: "What am I supposed to say? You look like you should be institutionalized?"

Hurley spins the feather between his thumb and index finger. "That's not important. I got an idea. Are you ticklish?"

Walt sees Hurley's plan, and wants no part of it. "No."

Hurley: "That's too bad. Because if I did this, you might squirm so much you could rub that vine against the tree and cut through it." Hurley drags the feather up and down Walt's tummy.

Walt squeals: "AHHH ha ha ha!"

Hurley, feigning being appalled. "You lied to me?"

Walt: "No! I mean yes! I mean only my bare skin … sometimes …"

Hurley scrapes the feather against Walt's left side, and then his right. Walt twists all he can, which is just a few centimeters, trying to avoid the torment. Hurley doesn't let up, and the feather runs across Walt's nipples, his throat, and under his chin. "You did say to anything to get you out of there."

Walt: "But I didn't mean aaaahhhh ha ha ha!" Walt squirms feverishly, jerking his arms back and forth more and more, causing more friction between the vine binding his hands and the tree. Smoke starts to come from where the vine is rubbing against the tree.

Hurley: "You know, you did say some not-so-nice things about me and backgammon." Hurley tickles Walt's armpits one at a time with the feather.

Walt: "Ahhh ha ha no fair!" Walt's muscles strain mightily as he tries to talk Hurley into stopping: "I'm sorry I insulted you about backgammon. Hee hee hee. I was just very lucky, you did the best you could with the dice rolls. You can have your money back. Ho ho ho." Walt is in a frenzy, but feels the tree sawing through the vine, which is almost on fire now.

Hurley: "Apology accepted, but I don't want the money back. This is too much fun." With the tip of the feather Hurley makes circles around Walt's belly button, which proves to be his most sensitive spot.

Walt goes into a paroxysm. "AHHH HA HA STOP HA I CAN'T TAKE IT HA HA HA!" Walt is breathing heavily and sweating profusely when his last violent writhes cause the vine to snap. "ARRRRGH!" Just at that time a huge flock of forty-two birds descends upon Walt and poops all over him as Hurley spryly steps out of the way. "Yuck!" Walt starts to fall forward as his feet are still tied. His anger at Hurley for tickling him is dwarfed by the realization that he is finally free. _Great! I didn't need someone to untie me. _When he catches his breath: "Thanks Hurley, I can take it from here." Walt unties his feet in a few minutes. "Excuse me, I need to wash up."

Hurley, holding his nose: "You're welcome. Glad I could help." Hurley drops the feather, and comes back to his normal self. He shudders at the realization of what he has just done. _I just tortured a kid? _"Walt, I'm so sorry; I don't know what came over me."

Walt: "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm fine now. John was right; this was the will of the island."

Hurley is relieved that Walt is in good spirits, but is still worried about his actions. "Are you sure? Then … okay, dude."

Walt: "Yes I'm sure. See you at the beach."

Hurley, shaking a little, goes back to the beach.

Michael has been close enough to understand what is going on, and hurries back to the beach ahead of Hurley so he can make an announcement.

"Hey Jack, everybody, Walt is safe. He'll be here in a few minutes."

Sun: "That's a relief. In that case I'll just check on my garden before it gets dark."

* * *

Walt goes to the stream and sits down in it, washing off the bird poop and letting the water cool him down in more ways than one. Then he gets up, and remembers, _Crud, I've still got nothing but this boarskin. I can't go around like this all the time, but I have no choice right now. Please, Vincent, please have brought my clothes back. _Feeling overexposed, Walt goes back to the beach, glad no one else is watching him.

Walt gets to the beach line. He makes a dash for his and Michael's tent. Sun is out tending to her garden, but Michael is there.

Walt: "Hi Dad, I'm not mad anymore. I realize now John was helping me, and I'm cool with you and him leaving me tied up back there. Hurley helped me get loose. It's all over now. I realize that I've been acting like a jerk, and I will be better now. But did Vincent bring my clothes back?"

Michael: "Good to see you're better, but no, Vincent hasn't come back. All you have is your stuff in that corner."

Walt looks into the corner. Located there are all his worldly possessions, apart from his current attire: the set of handcuffs he found, the rubber ball formed from his chewed up shoes, and the comic book and the nearly used up deodorant stick he got from Sawyer.

Walt: "I can't stand being like this, where everyone can see my skinny body and legs all the time. That's why I like those huge shirts and long shorts. I want to hide in our tent until we get rescued."

Michael: _That won't do. I'm counting on Sun and me to have some time alone in that tent. _"Let's see if Doctor Jack can do something about this."

Michael goes over to Jack, leaving Walt huddled up with his knees near his chin.

Michael: "Hi Jack. It turns out that Vincent ran off with Walt's clothes, and John made him a boarskin loincloth, and Walt is feeling very self-conscious about it. I can't ask anyone else to give up the few clothes we have left, so … can you do something about it?"

Jack: "I'll give it a try. I'm well-versed in psychology." Calling Walt, "Walt, would you please come over here?"

Walt reluctantly gets up and comes over, and sits down on the sand, pulling his knees to his chest.

Jack tries to cheer Walt up and chuckles, "You know, patients normally don't disrobe before entering the doctor's office."

Walt is not cheered up. "Since when does anyone think I'm normal? And that's the problem – I don't have anything to robe myself with."

Jack: "Walt, I understand … wait, you have rope burns on your wrists? And your ankles and shins, though those aren't as bad."

Walt: "Yeah, John tied me to a tree and I was stuck there for several hours."

Jack: "John did what? That's totally unacceptable, even if he thought he had a good reason."

Walt: "He actually did. It made me realize some important things about myself and this island. I'm okay with that now."

Jack is skeptical, but Walt sounds sincere. "If you're sure, then good, but I will still talk to John. Apart from that you look okay. Let's see if I can find something for those burns."

Walt: "It isn't necessary. Save whatever medicine you have for someone who really needs it."

Jack: "That's very noble of you. Come to think about it, the way we heal on this island you'll be in top shape in a day or two. Just don't get tied up again for a couple days, okay?"

Walt: "That's fine with me."

Jack: "Now, how are you feeling?"

Walt: "I'm fine physically, but now I can't stand having almost nothing to wear. I want to hide until my growth spurt hits."

Jack: "That's not very practical. I have a better idea. I want you to picture Hurley in a loincloth like yours."

Walt gets nauseous and a shade of green envelops his face. "Ugh. Aren't you supposed to keep people from getting sick?"

Jack, quickly: "Okay, stop. Clear your mind. Now think of this: Since you're wearing a loincloth, Hurley doesn't have to, and everyone feels much better because of that."

Walt head and face clears and he has a revelation: "You mean, we're very low on clothes, and it's better that I'm dressed like this than someone like Hurley?"

Jack: "Well, there's no one else like Hurley, but yes. Consider yourself a hero for making the sacrifice."

Walt smiles: "I'm a hero? That's neat. Hey Jack, you know who else would look good in a loincloth?"

Jack shakes his head. "Sawyer?"

Walt: "What? Oh, maybe. I meant Kate."

Jack blushes. "Get out of here, you're cured." Jack gives Walt a push, knocking him down on the sand.

Walt laughs, jumps up and does dozens of consecutive cartwheels along the beach.

Michael approaches Jack: "Jack, that was fantastic. It should be tolerable for everyone to have Walt around now. That Hurley vision was rough, but it had great results."

Jack: "Thanks. Sometimes drastic measures have to be taken in order for good long-term health. But I think John tying your son to a tree is going too far. Doesn't that bother you?"

Michael: "Eh, I've seen enough of John to trust him, and I'm sure he has Walt's best interests at heart."

Jack: "Well, I still want to talk to him about it. There have to be better ways. But at least Walt seems in good spirits now."

Michael: "Yes. I can't thank you enough. When we get back to the States, if we ever need a doctor we'll try to get you."

* * *

Kate is still searching and hears something ahead of her. Sayid is still searching and hears something ahead of him. They push bushes to the side, and come face to face with each other. They jump back.

Kate: "Oh, hi Sayid."

Sayid: "Hi Kate. Guess you didn't find anything either."

Kate: "No. It's getting dark, we should head back. Maybe someone else found Walt, or he got back on his own."

Sayid and Kate go back to the beach, where from a distance they see Walt doing cartwheels.

Kate absentmindedly puts her hand on Sayid's shoulder. "Looks like he got back okay."

Sayid: "Yes, but his clothes didn't … what are you doing?"

Kate finds that her hand has been running through Sayid's chest hair. She pulls her hand away.

Kate: "Oh! I was just daydreaming how nice it would be to have a family. Sorry."

Sayid: "You don't have to apologize. It felt good, but don't let Shannon see you."

Kate: "Let's just go back and find out what happened."

Kate and Sayid go back to the center of the camp, where Jack tells them what went on that day.

* * *

Hurley is still upset with himself as he reaches the beach. He seeks out Sayid.

Hurley: "Sayid, I need your help. I can't believe what I just did. I tortured Walt."

Sayid is incredulous. "See Walt running around out there? That is not a victim of torture. And you're the last person on this island who would torture anybody."

Hurley thinks for a moment. "Yeah, you'd think so, but listen. Walt was tied to a tree, and I couldn't untie the knots. Then I picked up this feather, which came from a bird that Walt told me said my name, and something came over me. I tickled him with it, and he squirmed so much the vine tying his hands burned through by scraping against the tree. I only came to my senses when I dropped the feather."

Sayid: "Walt was tied to a tree? Who would … duhhhh … John Locke of course. That man has a thing for tying people up. But how was Walt after the ordeal?"

Hurley: "He was okay with it. He was actually grateful to me for helping him get loose. He said he had been there for hours, and several other passengers found him before me, but didn't free him for one reason or another."

Sayid: "It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself. But I do have a suggestion that may help: don't pick up any more feathers from that bird you described."

Hurley: "Whooooa, awesome advice, dude. Thanks."

* * *

After some tracking, Locke finds Boone wandering about half a mile north of the caves.

Locke: "We may need to improve people's perception of us. The boar I killed should be done cooking by now. Help me bring the cooked meat to the beach."

Boone: "Sounds good to me." They head back, but Boone trips over a root and bangs his knee on something hard. He pretends it's no big deal. They get to the caves, and Locke slices up a good quantity of boar meat, and wraps it in some large leaves. They're near the beach, but Boone is now limping noticeably.

Locke: "Boone, are you okay? What happened?"

Boone: "No big deal, I just tripped back there and hit my knee against something hard."

Locke: "Like a rock? I don't remember seeing any rocks back there."

Boone: "No, actually it felt more like metal."

The realization strikes Locke. "Boone, do you realize what this means?"

Boone: "That a piece of the airplane wreckage flew very far inland?"

Locke: "No! I think you stumbled upon the hatch!"

Boone: "Really? Sorry I didn't notice the exact location."

Locke: "At least we have a general idea. We must search for it in the morning."

They arrive at the beach.

Locke: "Hey everybody, fresh boar meat for dinner."

Jack can't let Locke get off too easy. "What is the meaning of tying Walt to a tree for hours? Are you insane?"

Locke: "You're not letting yourself be capable of understanding. He had issues, and the island helped him heal. But perhaps you need to judge him for yourself. See if his attitude and behavior keeps on improving."

Jack: "I think I will."

Everyone on the beach comes to eat the fresh meat.

Michael: "So this is from the same animal that Walt is wearing?"

Walt laughs.

Locke: "That's right."

In the middle of the meal Vincent comes by, attracted by the smell. Walt pets him and gives him a hunk of meat. Vincent then runs away to share the portion with Gussie.

The meal ends. Sawyer has relished the chance to get a lot of protein: "I got to hand it to you, your Lockeness, you really came through this time."

Shannon: "Lockeness – Loch Ness … Monster … that's funny."

Walt laughs again, and Shannon realizes, something. "Oh Walt, I'm so sorry I forgot about you back there."

Walt: "That's okay. It was my destiny. The experience made me realize what a jerk I've been. I'm going to be more helpful from now on."

Shannon: "Like how?"

Walt: "Like … hey, did you guys make the second net trap?"

Jack: "Yes, that was a couple days ago."

Walt: "Did you get a chance to test it?"

Jack: "No, John wasn't around to tell us if it was good, so we just left it."

Walt: "Great!" Walt runs over to the net, and jumps onto the trigger stick. The net closes neatly around him and yanks him a meter off the ground. This time he is not off balance, and manages to remain standing. "Neato! You trapped me!"

Locke: "Hmm. This is pretty good. The victim should be suspended a bit higher from the ground. The opening is definitely tighter, but I'm not sure it's tight enough."

Walt: "Let me check." He climbs up the interior side, and pushes his head and shoulders through the opening at the top. The net is supported by a vine that wraps around a branch, and goes through several loops at the edges of the net and ends in a slip knot. The loop was supposed to cinch tight, but Walt's weight wasn't enough to cause it to do so, and it only closed partially. "Yeah, this opening is too loose. Let me try something." Walt climbs back down on the inside of the net. He holds onto the sides of the net and bounces up and down. The net holds, and the loop at the top cinches tight. Walt climbs up, and tries to loosen the loop. It takes a lot of effort to pry it open a single centimeter. Walt drops down, and the top loop closes tight again. With a big grin, "Ha ha, I trapped myself."

Locke: "Thanks Walt, you've been a big help. I know what to work on for the next net. We need less friction there at the top so that loop closes, and some more weight at the bottom. But you have proved this net is structurally sound. You're trapped in there pretty good."

Walt: "Yeah, it'll be hard to get out of this."

Michael is amused at the sight of his son in the trap, but is puzzled by Walt not continuing what appeared to be an escape attempt. "Aren't you going to try to get out of there now?"

Walt: "No. That can wait till morning. I'm going to sleep in here; it's like a hammock." Walt curls up at the bottom of the net. "See? And this way you and Sun can have the tent to yourselves without me in the way."

Sun gasps. "Walt!"

Michael: "Relax, Sun. Our … relationship is no secret."

Sun: "Oh, I guess, but … Walt could have slept in my tent."

Michael: "Too bad he didn't think of that. Actually, it's not too bad after all. Isn't this more entertaining?"

Sun has to agree. "He looks so happy; I wouldn't want to disturb him."

Everybody else agrees not to disturb Walt. Michael and Sun go into Michael's tent before the sun sets.

Jack: "John, you're right. Whatever you did with Walt, it's led to a tremendous attitude improvement."

Locke: "I like to think I know what I'm doing."

Jack suddenly realizes something. "Hey, Claire, Ethan, and Charlie never made it back. And Jin is still out there somewhere."

Locke: "They all know their way around well enough. I'm sure they'll be back soon. It's not practical to search in the dark, but if they're not here by morning, we can send out more search parties."

* * *

Danielle is following Ethan and Claire. _That man acts and looks much more like an Other than the one who calls himself Jin._ After a few hours they reach the Staff. Ethan pulls out his walkie-talkie.

Ethan: "Ben? Ethan here. I got the pregnant girl here at the Staff."

Ben: "The Staff? Didn't we say the Flame before?"

Ethan: "The stupid writer confused the Staff with the Flame, and went back and edited some of the references, but not our spoken ones. That wouldn't be fair."

Ben: "Oh fiddlesticks, that makes us look dumb at the beginning. It would be nice if we could go back in time and fix it. Of course the Staff is the medical station and the Flame is the communication station."

Ethan: "Yeah, I knew that. It only makes sense to take the pregnant girl to the medical station. Anyway, we're here now."

Ben: "Excellent. Juliet and I will be there, at the Staff, in the morning."

Ethan opens the Staff door, which is hidden behind some bushes. He carries Claire in and sets her down on an operating table. Then he fastens some straps around her body, but not too tight due to her condition.

* * *

Charlie is suffering from withdrawal symptoms in the pitch blackness of the cave with the collapsed entrance. He rocks his body, trying to get free from the debris pinning him down. He moves a little, and then feels his shirt rip. "Oh, bollix." He then hits his head, which turns out to be fortunate as it knocks him out and at least temporarily ends his suffering.


	14. The Case of the Clueless

Jin wakes up the next morning thoroughly confused. There is a big bruise on his chest, though it has begun to heal, and he doesn't remember how he got it. _Maybe it was the wind?_ He remembers something about Danielle trying to make him feel better, but she is nowhere to be seen. _What should I do? I have to let everyone know about this Danielle. But Sun is the only one who can understand me, and we're not speaking to each other. Should I try to win her back? _Jin sees the sun rising in the east, and assuming Danielle didn't drag him too far while he was unconscious after falling into her trap, determines he needs to head southwest to eventually reach the coast and hopefully the beach camp.

* * *

Claire wakes up strapped to a table in the Staff. "Wh-what happened? Where am I?"

Ethan: "There's no point in your asking questions, since we're going to wipe out your memory anyway."

Claire: "We? Who else?"

Ethan: "Oh, if it will make you more cooperative I guess it doesn't matter. Some colleagues of mine will pay you a visit, and we need to run some tests."

Claire: "Tests? What kind of tests?"

Ethan: "They're related to your pregnancy. We've had some issues on this island, and we need to find out how to deliver healthy babies."

Claire: "Oh … but you didn't have to do this to me? Why am I strapped to this table?"

Ethan: "So you wouldn't fall off while you slept. We wouldn't want any harm to come to you or your baby."

Claire, with more than a touch of sarcasm: "How thoughtful of you."

* * *

Walt wakes up curled up in the net at the edge of the beach. It takes him a moment to remember where he is, and then is excited about chance to escape. He climbs up the side, and tries to force the loop at the top wide enough to crawl through. He gets it open a few centimeters, but then his strength gives out as his weight forces the loop to close tightly again. He drops to the bottom of the net. _Think, Walt, think. How can I get out of this?_ He gazes up at the top. _I have to do what John said. I have to visualize this with my mind's eye._

The image comes to Walt. He climbs to the top again, reaches as far as he can through a gap between the vines with one arm, and grasps the supporting vine. Getting his weight on one side of the net, he uses his other hand and a foot to widen the loop at the top. With Walt supporting his weight with the first arm, the loop now does not close when he has to regroup and shift his position to make more progress. In a few minutes the loop is wide enough. He lunges through it, getting his arms and upper body through, but when he lets go of the supporting vine the loop closes tightly around his waist. "Ugh!"

Michael and Sun get up, and see the last part of Walt's endeavor. Sun winces when Walt is caught.

Sun: "Shouldn't we help …?"

Michael: "No. If he wants help he'll ask for it. It will mean a lot to him if he escapes unaided."

Walt flails around, and then manages to get his hands on the loop encircling his waist. It takes several more minutes, and he eventually worms his way all the way through. Then he climbs down the outside of the net. Since the bottom of the net was only a meter off the ground, his feet reach the ground while he is still holding onto it. Beaming, he exclaims, "Wow, that was fun!"

Sun: "That was very impressive, Walt."

Michael: "Yeah, pretty good, but I expect you to escape faster next time."

Sun: "Michael! That wasn't a very nice thing to say."

Walt: "That's okay, he's right. I need to improve myself in any way possible. Like I was rude to Dad before. I want to make up for it by doing some father-son thing."

Michael: "That's great. But Sun …"

Sun: "Well, I need to look after my garden every day. You two go do some male bonding. We'll see each other later."

Michael: "Okay then. Walt, did you have anything in mind?"

Walt: "I was real mean to you at golf. How about you teach me?"

Michael: "If you wish. According to you, though, I'm not going to be a very good teacher."

Walt: "Maybe I was wrong. But hey, we won't get any better if we don't practice. Wouldn't it be good to give Hurley some competition?"

Michael: "All right then. Not too many people are up; I'm sure we can get the first tee time."

Michael, Walt, and Sun have a quick piece of fruit and water for breakfast. Then Michael and Walt go to the golf course, and Sun goes to her garden.

* * *

From a distance, Locke appreciates Walt's efforts. _That boy is going to be all right, and I'm helping him get him there more quickly._ Then he knocks on Boone's tent.

Locke: "Come on Boone, get ready and let's go find that hatch."

Boone: "Oh right. Good morning to you too."

Locke and Boone gather supplies in backpacks and set off before anyone else gets up."

* * *

Jack wakes up and surveys the situation. He gets alarmed. To everyone still around, "Bad news. Claire, Ethan, and Charlie never returned. We need to send out more search parties."

Sawyer: "Again? Are we going to spend the rest of lives looking for lost souls?"

Jack: "It shouldn't be for the rest of our lives. But I can't stand having bad things happen when I'm in charge."

Sayid: "After this, people have to learn to take responsibility for their actions."

Jack: "We can discuss that later. Now who wants to go search? I'm afraid I have to stay here in case they come back on their own."

Shannon: "I'll go look. I did a great job last time."

Kate: "Sure you found Walt, but left him there."

Shannon: "But I broke my nail. I was going to get help."

Jack: "That reminds me, how is your nail today?"

Shannon takes the band-aid off. "Wow, it's all better. I've never had anything heal so fast before. "

Hurley: "It's the island. It keeps doing things like heal quickly."

Sawyer: "I need to get out of here. I'll go look for the lost sheep."

Kate: "Me too. I have to prove I'm a good tracker."

Sayid: "I'd better go too."

Hurley: "Hey, there's no one left but me and the doc. Again."

Sawyer: "Why don't you and Dr. Dolittle make yourselves useful and reset that net trap? I see our jungle boy got loose."

Jack: "That sounds fair. Everybody get something to eat and then go."

* * *

After a long hike, Ben and Juliet reach the Staff.

Juliet: "Well, we're finally here. I sure hope this is worth it, Ben."

Ben: "It's Henry! You are to refer to me as Henry when any outsiders might be present."

Juliet: "What difference does it make if we're going to wipe her memory?"

Ben: "We have to get used to this in case of future encounters with the outsiders."

Juliet: "Fine, Henry, let's go in."

Ben and Juliet enter the Staff.

Ben: "Good morning Ethan, how's the patient?"

Ethan: "Not very patient. But she's healthy enough."

Ben goes into see Claire, and undoes the straps.

Ben: "Hello Claire, my name is Henry Gale. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we need to run some tests on you that will likely save lots of lives."

Claire: "But … that doesn't give you the right to do this!"

While Ben and Claire argue, Juliet corners Ethan.

Juliet: "So tell me about the men from the plane. Who's good looking?"

Ethan: "I didn't pay any attention to that."

Juliet: "Come on, then describe them."

Ethan is getting out of this. "I suppose most are handsome. The ones that you'd probably be interested in the most are Jack and Sawyer. Jack is this insufferable do-gooder of a doctor; everything has to be done his way. Let me think … I guess his most prominent feature would be his facial stubble. Sawyer seems to have the most fans that swoon every time he's seen bare-chested. Has a southern accent and I guess turns on the charm when he wants to. Sayid, Michael, Jin, and Boone look all right; Boone is pretty young though. And John Locke is way too old. Hurley is way on the heavy side, and there's that pipsqueak Charlie. I can't stand him; he's a junkie and he thinks he's worthy of Claire. Always getting in the way. There are times that I wanted to strangle …"

Ben interrupts. "Ethan! Juliet! You are not here to gossip. We have important work to do here."

Juliet: "Oh all right, Ben..ry. I mean Henry." She walks over to Claire. "Hello, I'm a fertility doctor. We need a blood sample, and a test to determine when you got pregnant."

Claire: "I can tell you the date, it had to be about January 23."

Juliet: "That would mean you became pregnant before the flight."

Claire rolls her eyes. "I knew that already."

Juliet: "Um, thank you. But there are still more tests we need."

Juliet lets Ethan do the dirty work of getting a blood sample. Claire shrieks when the needle enters her arm.

Juliet: "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Claire: "How about I inject you in your arm?"

Juliet: "I wish it was possible for there to be a reason for these tests to be run on me. Now we have to put the sample in these machines. It will take another episode to obtain the results."

* * *

Jin reaches the shore a little too far south, and then heads back up where he sees Jack and Hurley. Jack sees the bruise on Jin's chest, but it is faded.

Jack: "Hi Jin, what happened to you?"

Jin gives Jack a funny look, and doesn't say anything.

Hurley: "Dude, he doesn't understand you. We need Sun to translate. But hey, what's this?"

Jin was facing Jack, and his back was turned to Hurley, who sees the message in Jin's back pocket. Hurley pulls out the message, and Jack grabs it out of Hurley's hand.

Hurley: "Dude, what'd you do that for?"

Jack: "Because this is serious, I'm the big star, and you're mainly comic relief."

Hurley is left speechless as Jack reads the note.

Jack: "Good news. Claire and Ethan are all right; they found a nice place to stay for a few days." Jack hands the note back to Hurley.

Hurley: "Plenty of food … aww, just enough room for two. Well, in any case, good to see you again, Jin."

Jack: "How about you help set up these net traps?" Jack makes some gestures, and Jin seems to understand."

Hurley: "Like, one to trap the boars and one for Walt to sleep in."

The three of them reset the trap Walt was in and begin making a new one.

* * *

Sawyer is searching the woods, muttering to himself, _it's too hot for this, _when he comes upon the pond he and Kate found a couple days before. But this time something catches his eye. There is a glint of silver coming from the bottom of the pond.

* * *

Searching for Charlie, Kate finally finds some tracks. They look like a man's footprints. She follows them, breaks through some bushes – and finds Sawyer looking at something in the pond.

Kate: "Fancy meeting you here. What are you looking at?"

Sawyer: "Well if it isn't mighty Sheena of the jungle. There's something down there, but I can't tell what it is."

Kate strains her neck. _Is that the suitcase? Can't tell from here. I have to find out for sure. _"You know, looking for those people is probably a waste of time. How about we take a break and go for a little swim? It's certainly hot enough."

Sawyer: "Not concerned about not having your bathing suit?"

Kate: "I'll be all right. Kate takes off her top and slacks, and hangs them on a branch. She dives into the water. _It is that suitcase._

Sawyer kicks off his shoes and follows Kate in. "Aaah, this is your best idea yet."

Kate: "Thank you. And now I can see better, I think that is my suitcase down there."

Sawyer takes a look. "That's a rather peculiar looking case. Looks like something the army would use."

Kate: "Umm, it was a gift from my father, who was in the military. He liked high-security stuff."

Sawyer: "Well, I'm the best swimmer and diver around. I'll get it." Sawyer dives down and grabs the suitcase. He brings it to the surface. "It doesn't have your name on it. I saw it first. It's mine."

Kate: "No! The … nametag must have fallen off in the crash."

Sawyer: "Well, how about if you identify the contents?"

Kate thinks _I can't do that._

Just then Vincent sprints from out of nowhere, and chews up Sawyer's shoes. Sawyer swims toward the pond's edge. "Hey Benji, leave those alone, you stupid fleabag!"

Kate laughs: "Now you're even giving the dog nicknames?"

Vincent becomes scared, drops the shoes, and then grabs Kate's clothes in his mouth and runs off.

Kate is no longer laughing. She paddles toward the shore, but Vincent is long gone by the time she reaches it. "Sawyer! Stop him!"

Sawyer: "Get real! I can't swim faster than a dog can run!" Sawyer gets to the shore, and examines his shoes. "They're ruined."

Kate: "Never mind that! We have to get my clothes back. I can't go around in my underwear!"

Sawyer: "Well, Sweetcheeks, I'd be happy to give you the shirt off my back, but … something happened to it."

Kate recalls ripping Sawyer's shirt off and throwing it in a fire when he was tied to the tree and forced to listen to Charlie's song over and over. _It still was worth it. _

Sawyer: "And hey, your bra and panties look lovely. And they cover more than Shannon's bikini anyway."

Kate: "But it's underwear! Men! Oh, let's just find them. Vincent went that way, I can track him_._"

Sawyer: "Are you going to leave me holding your bag?"

Kate: "Would you be a dear and carry it for me? I know it's kind of heavy."

Sawyer: "What is this made of, solid steel? And this thing needs a key, what about that?"

Kate: "It could be solid steel. And I'm afraid the key was lost in the crash."

Kate and Sawyer try to follow Vincent, which takes them east in the general direction of the caves. Sawyer schemes as to how to open the case.

* * *

Michael and Walt get to the golf course.

Michael: "Walt, I'll carry the clubs. I have to confess I tricked you into caddying before."

Walt: "That's okay. Carrying those heavy clubs was good for me. I need bigger muscles. I want muscles like yours when I grow up. I can carry them."

Michael: "The old man needs to stay in shape too, you know. Why don't we each carry them half the time?"

Walt: "That's good with me."

Michael: "Great. Now hold the club like this, swing back, and down." Michael's first shot is pretty bad, but then so is Walt's. "How about we don't keep score this first time?"

Walt: "Fine with me."

They hack their way around the course, having a great time. When they're done, they go back to the beach camp, finding only Jack, Hurley, and Jin.

Walt: "Hey, Jin's back, and he lost his shirt too. Wonder how that happened?"

Michael: "We'd need Sun to translate, and I don't know if they want to talk to each other."

At that moment Sun returns from her garden. "How was the golf game, boys?"

Walt: "We're not pros yet, but it was a lot of fun. You should come with us next time."

Sun: "Maybe I will …" Sun notices Jin has returned. _I forgot how good he looks shirtless. But I'm not talking to him._

Jack notices the arrival of the golfers. "Hey where did you guys run off to? I want to look at Walt's rope burns."

Walt: "Oh, I forgot all about those. We were playing golf. Here." Walt extends his hands toward Jack.

Jack: "Why, there's practically no sign of them now. That's amazing."

Michael: "Good. By the way, where is everybody?"

Jack: "They're looking for Charlie. They were also looking for Claire and Ethan, but they're all right."

Hurley pops up. "Yeah, dudes, they met Jin and gave him a note."

Michael, Walt, and Sun read the note.

Michael: "That's a relief, but about Charlie? He never came back?"

Walt: "I saw Charlie yesterday. He left me tied to the tree when I told him John had some fancy drug."

Jack: "Do you know where he was heading?"

Walt: "I told him I thought John was at his cave, and he started that way."

Michael: "We have to go there, then. Try to find John."

Jack: "Good luck guys. Some of us have to stay here in case he comes back on his own."

Walt: "I know the way, I'll show you."

Walt, Michael, and Sun go to the caves, as Sun does not want to be near Jin. They get in the area, and start calling out for Locke and Boone, who is often near his new mentor.

* * *

Locke and Boone are searching the area north of the caves for the hatch, when they hear their names being called. Locke is mildly annoyed, but he realizes they have to respond.

Locke: "Hey, what's up?"

Walt: "We're looking for Charlie. I saw him yesterday, and he said he was going to look for you at your cave."

Locke: "I never saw him yesterday. But he's probably close by. We should search the other caves."

Within minutes Locke finds a cave with a collapsed entrance.

Michael: "I can tell that this was structurally unsound. Why didn't someone tell me about this?"

Locke: "Sorry Mike, you weren't around. Let me try something. "CHARLIE, are you in there?"

No response.

Michael: "That could well be soundproof."

Locke: "Then I'll try something else." Locke takes a rock and taps out a message in Morse Code on one of the boulders in front of the cave.

Boone: "Is that Morse Code? Nobody uses that any more."

Walt: "I think SOS's are still used sometimes."

Charlie wakes up to the annoying sounds, and then figures it out. _Someone's trying to contact me! I have to respond. _Charlie fumbles around for a rock, finds one, and taps out the melody to "You All Everybody" against one of the boulders trapping him.

Walt recognizes the tune. "That has to be Charlie! He's alive!"

Michael: "Everybody, get these rocks out of the way! But be careful it doesn't collapse further. I'll let you know."

Michael, Walt, Locke, Boone, and Sun remove the lighter rocks, but there are many heavy boulders still in the way. Michael, Locke, and Boone struggle with those, but it is clear they need more help.

Boone: "How much air do you suppose Charlie has in there?"

Locke: "Hard to say, but if it's about the same size as the cave I've been using, probably a day or two."

Walt: "But he's already been in there a day."

Sun: "Is this what is known as a cliffhanger?"


	15. Mothballs

Locke: "Yes Sun, this might be called a cliffhanger. But we have to act fast. We need to get all the manpower we can and get everyone here as fast as possible. Are Jack and Hurley still at the beach?"

Sun: "Yes, and Jin came back also. He had a note saying that Claire and Ethan found a nice place to stay and are safe, but they didn't say where they are."

Locke: "Then you go to the beach and bring them here. You're the only one who can communicate with Jin, so you have to go."

Sun: "We're not speaking to each other, but since Charlie's life is at stake, I'll do it."

Locke: "Great. Now Walt, you go find the others; that would be Sawyer, Kate, Sayid, and Shannon. They should be around somewhere looking for Charlie, Claire, and Ethan."

Michael: "You expect Walt to be able to find them just like that?"

Locke: "Yes, he's special enough for that, and certainly hyper enough. And we need the strength of the grown men to move as much of these boulders as we can in the meantime. You understand, don't you Walt?"

Walt: "Sure, I got it."

Walt runs off into the jungle, while Sun heads quickly back to the beach. Locke, Michael, and Boone are left clawing away at the boulders and debris at the cave entrance.

* * *

Walt is somewhere in the thick jungle around a kilometer from the caves: "Sawyer! Kate! Sayid! Shannon!"

Shannon: "Walt? Over here?"

Sayid was paying more attention to Shannon's body than anything else.

Sayid: "Shannon, what are you talking about?"

Shannon: "Sayid, didn't you hear that? It sounded like Walt."

Sayid: "Are you sure you're not imagining things?"

Walt claws through some bushes and finds them.

Sayid: "I'm sorry, you were right, Shannon. I should never have doubted you."

Shannon: "That's okay. Walt, what's going on?"

Walt: "Sayid, Shannon, glad I found you. We found Charlie. He's trapped in a cave-in, and we need everybody to dig him out. It's this way."

Shannon: "Oh dear, yes, let's hurry."

Sayid: "Of course."

Walt leads Sayid and Shannon back to the caves.

Walt: "I found them, now I'll go find Sawyer and Kate."

Michael: "Good job, Walt.

Locke: "I knew you could do it."

Walt runs off in the direction opposite to where he found Sayid and Shannon.

Sayid examines the situation. "We need to get this huge boulder out of there."

Michael: "Yes, but it's too heavy to move by hand."

Sayid: "How about tying some vines around it, and pulling?"

Michael: "It's worth a shot. We'll need vines long enough for everyone to grab hold and pull."

Locke, Sayid, Michael, Boone, and Shannon work on making the necessary vines, which Locke cuts from trees with one of his knives.

* * *

Sun gets to the beach camp. "Jack, Hurley, we found Charlie. He's trapped in a cliffhanger … I mean a cave-in."

Jack: "Hurry, we have to save him."

Sun: "And we need everyone. I have to talk to Jin."

Hurley: "He's over there, fishing with his net."

Sun goes over to Jin and speaks in Korean. "Jin, I have to talk to you."

Jin says nothing.

Sun: "It's Charlie. We found him trapped in a cave-in, and we need your muscles to free him."

Jin is moved. "I will help Charlie. Show us where he is."

Sun leads Jin, Jack, and Hurley back to the cave where Charlie is trapped.

* * *

Walt is roaming through the jungle again, between the caves and the pond. "Sawyer! Kate! Where are you?"

Kate: "Over here!" Kate then gasps, and whispers, "Oh no, I don't want the kid to see me in my underwear."

Sawyer: "You can't run and hide forever. But let's see what this is about."

Walt breaks through more bushes and finds Kate and Sawyer. Kate hinds behind Sawyer, who looks disgusted.

Sawyer: "So what does Bomba the Jungle Boy want now? You have to control that mutt of yours. He just chewed up our shoes and stole Kate's clothes."

Walt: "Sorry. If I could control Vincent, I wouldn't be running around in this, but that's not important. We found Charlie, but he's trapped in a cave-in and running out of air. We need everyone to get him out."

Kate steps from behind Sawyer: "That's terrible! We have to get there as fast as possible. Whoops!" Kate tries to cover herself up. Walt's eyes bug out for a second, and then he turns away.

Sawyer: "See darling, Tarzan Junior saw you and the world didn't end. Let's move."

Kate: "I guess you're right. But Charlie's world will end if we don't do something about it. I was being selfish. Let's go."

Sawyer and Kate follow Walt back to the cave, the three of them moving as fast as they can.

* * *

Sun, Jack, Hurley, and Jin arrive at the cave. A vine has been tied around the top of the largest boulder blocking the entrance.

Sayid: "Now everybody, grab hold of this and pull."

Everybody does, and the vine snaps.

Sayid: "That was too much for one vine. We need to make several."

The crew fashions more long make-shift ropes out of vines. Sawyer, Kate, and Walt arrive during this process.

Locke: "Hey, we're tying these vines around this huge boulder so we can pull it loose. I just have to make sure these knots are tight."

Walt: "I know; you're very good at tying knots that can't be untied."

Sawyer: "Walt is definitely right on that."

Everyone but Sawyer gasps.

Sawyer: "What?"

Michael: "You referred to my son by his real name. What happened?"

Sawyer: "Drat! I was too caught up in the life-threatening emergency to think straight."

Walt: "I told you you shouldn't have used up all those nicknames in that one scene."

Locke: "Never mind. We're ready. Everybody pull on one of these vines."

Everybody pulls as hard as they can. The boulder budges a few millimeters, and then falls back into place as the survivors tire.

Jack: "Dang it! We were so close!"

Walt listens at the still-blocked entrance. "Charlie's tapping is getting quieter … oh no, it stopped."

Shannon is frustrated. "Oh Boone, why couldn't you be stronger?"

Boone: "What? Pardon me for being human. It would be nice if I had the strength of a bear, but that's not going to happen."

A light bulb goes on over Shannon's head. "A bear! That's it! We've got to get that polar bear over here and help."

Boone is dumbstruck for a second. "Shannon, that's absolutely brilliant! But how can we get her over here?"

Locke: "I still have the dog whistle I made. Let's try it." Locke blows on the whistle, and within a minute Vincent comes running in, but no Gussie.

Locke: "Walt, can you talk to Vincent and ask him to bring Gussie here?"

Walt: "Vincent hasn't been listening to me all that much lately. The last time I asked him to do something he ran away with the knife that could have been used to cut me loose from that tree."

Michael coughs. "Let me try." _They may figure out I asked Vincent to steal Sun's clothes, but a man's life is at stake._

Michael: "Vincent, the man who took the thorn out of Gussie's paw needs her help. Can you bring him here?"

Michael looks around at the crowd, and suddenly realizes the only two people who still have shirts are Locke and Hurley. Michael whispers to Vincent: "And stop stealing everybody's clothes."

Vincent barks as if he understands, and runs off. A few minutes later he returns with Gussie.

Michael explains: "Um, Gussie, we need to loop this vine over your shoulder, and you pull on it along with the rest of us."

Gussie appears to understand, and lets Michael loop the vine over Gussie's neck and shoulder, so she won't strangle herself pulling.

Sayid: "All right, everyone together, heave!"

Everybody pulls on vines, and the boulder is slowly dislodged. It rolls several feet away, revealing an opening mostly clogged with more debris, but a hole about a foot in diameter leading in.

Jack: "Good job, everybody." Jack peers into the hole. "Charlie, can you hear me?"

There is no response. Jack wants to crawl through the hole but it is way too small.

Jack: "We need to get in there in a hurry, and bring water to him."

Sayid: "Yes, but we have to make that hole wider."

Locke: "Yes, but time is of the essence. That hole is too small for any us, except …"

Michael: "Wait a minute. You can't ask Walt to go in there. It could collapse again."

Walt: "I can do it. I have to do it. I'm special; nothing will happen to me."

Michael: "I can't allow …"

Walt: "Dad, please don't make me angry."

Hurley: "Dude, you really don't want to make Walt angry."

Michael: "Why? Is his growth spurt going to come super fast, and his shirt will rip apart and his pants rip – oops, what shirt and pants?"

Hurley: "No dude, the birds will come, and …"

With Michael distracted by Hurley, Walt dives headfirst through the hole, and squirms his way through. Locke rolls a water bottle and a flashlight through the opening.

Michael: "WALLLT!"

Everybody else present: "Shut up, Michael!"

Locke: "Calm down. We have to enlarge that hole if we're ever going to get Charlie out. And you're the one who can tell us how."

Michael calms down. "Right. We need to brace the ceiling like this, and get a crosspiece here, and dig around the edges."

With the help of the flashlight, Walt finds Charlie partially covered by rocks. Walt shakes Charlie's head. "Charlie, wake up!"

Charlie, groggily: "What? Where am I?"

Walt: "You were trapped in a cave-in, but we're getting you out now. Drink this."

Walt holds the water bottle to Charlie's lips and he drinks the water. Walt pulls some rocks off Charlie but others are too heady. Walt squirms back to the opening. "Charlie's alive, but he's pinned by heavy rocks. We need a rope."

Locke takes one of the vines and throws the end through the cave opening, which is a few inches wider after Michael's digging instructions. Walt decides the best thing to do is to tie the rope around Charlie's feet and have him dragged out from under the rocks.

Walt: "Ready, you can pull now."

Everyone on the outside pulls. Charlie is freed from the rocks, but a boulder that had been pinning his sleeve to the cave floor does not give, and his shirt is torn apart. Charlie is pulled out part way, but then is stuck. The cave rumbles. Charlie has the presence of mind to grab Walt's feet.

Jack: "Hurry, we need to pull harder!"

Michael gets it now. "Here Gussie, we need you one more time." Michael loops the end of the vine around the polar bears head and shoulder, and with a powerful surge, Charlie is pulled through, and then Walt, as Charlie didn't let go. Walt is holding onto the flashlight and water bottles.

Walt: "Sorry, Charlie, I can go back and get your shirt."

Shannon giggles: "Sorry, Charlie? Sounds like an advertisement for tuna."

Michael: "No Walt, leave it until it's safe."

The ceiling of the cave collapses, burying Charlie's shirt under tons of rubble.

Charlie: "Forget the shirt, Walt; that could easily have been me in there. Thank you, and thank you all for rescuing me."

Walt: "You're welcome, but we couldn't have done it without Gussie."

Charlie and Gussie look at each other, and then give each other big hugs.

Hurley sniffs: "That's so touching."

Jack quickly examines Charlie. "You have a lot of scrapes there. We need to fix you up. I have some salve here, but there's more back at the beach. Other than that, how are you feeling?"

Charlie: "I feel great. I'm clean now. I was in there long enough to get rid of my … drug dependency."

Shannon: "Everyone knew about your 'drug dependency'."

Locke: "I thought that might happen. This cloud had its silver lining."

Walt hands back the water bottle and flashlight to John. "Thanks John, these are yours."

Jack: "Well, it's time to get back to the beach camp."

Most of the group goes with Jack, but Locke and Boone linger behind. Gussie and Vincent stroll off together to a more private location.

Charlie realizes someone is missing. "Hey, where is Claire?"

Jack: "Claire and Ethan found a place to stay for a few days, and they're fine."

Charlie is disappointed. "They are? Really?"

Hurley: "Yeah, dude, they left a note."

Jack: "Come on, don't worry about that. You need to get back, patched up, and get some food and rest."

* * *

Claire, Ethan, Ben, and Juliet are at the Staff. Danielle is waiting outside, trying to figure out how to rescue Claire.

Juliet: "The first test results are back. There are two enzymes present in her blood sample that are of note. One is present in the blood of women who got pregnant on this island, and the other hasn't."

Ben: "What do you think this means?"

Juliet: "I'd say that this island somehow produces the first enzyme in pregnant women, but I'm not sure about the second."

Ben: "So what happens next?"

Juliet: "We need to run some more tests. I think it will help if act friendly with her."

Ethan: "So I get to be the bad guy again?"

Ben: "Take it as a compliment; you can be very good at it."

They walk into the room where Claire is lying.

Ethan: "The tests are promising but not sufficiently conclusive. Sorry we have to do this." Ethan gives Claire another injection, and withdraws a small amount of blood in the process. Claire grimaces, as Ethan and Ben leave. Juliet remains.

Juliet: "I'm sorry you have to go through this, but it is vitally important."

Claire: "You already told me that."

Juliet: "Well, in any case we have to stay a while longer, so let's chat."

Claire: "What do you want to talk about?"

Juliet: "Men."

Claire: "Any men in particular?"

Juliet: "The men who were on your plane. Tell me what you think about them, who's good-looking, that sort of thing."

Claire: "For good-looking, I suppose you'd start with Sawyer. Can be charming, but can be stubborn and has an amazing knack for doling out nicknames. Sometimes I think he has a thing for me, and sometimes I don't. Can be hard to read. There's our doctor Jack, with a real hero-complex and can be condescending."

Juliet: "That's the one with the stubble?"

Claire: "The most, certainly. Jack often treats me like a little sister, and that's so annoying. Let's see, Boone also is a hero wannabe, just not as good at it. He's young and quite good-looking. But he's been hanging out with creepy old John Locke all the time recently. There's Sayid, who looks great, and can't keep his eyes of Shannon. Michael looks fine, and is always with Sun these days. That reminds me, it's his bratty kid that we were looking for."

Ben of course is eavesdropping, and speaks quietly with Ethan. "Walt is missing? That won't do, we have to find him."

Ethan: "I can get on that as soon as the business with Claire is over."

Claire continues: "Sun's husband, and they're not talking, is named Jin, and he also looks great. He's gone now, saying he was going around the island to look for a way off."

Again Ben whispers to Ethan. "That isn't likely to happen, but we must make sure it doesn't."

Claire: "Hurley is sweet and friendly, but is rather overweight. And Charlie … Charlie tries to be sweet but … I'm sure he's a druggie. I just don't want to become involved with someone like that, especially when I'm about to have a baby."

Juliet makes mental notes. "I hope to meet some of these guys some day. Sawyer sounds very interesting, and I'm a doctor like your Jack is."

Claire: "Let me go and I'll introduce you to all them."

Juliet: "Nice try, but you know we can't allow that yet." _Why was that, again? Because Ben still has a crush on me?_

* * *

The main crowd returns to the beach, where they eat dinner. Jack cleans up Charlie's wounds, with Sun assisting. Charlie doesn't have full control of his senses yet.

Charlie: "Claire … I have to find Claire … ."

Jack: "Claire is all right, Charlie. Now drink this."

Charlie drinks a bottle of water in which Jack has placed a sedative. Charlie falls asleep quickly.

Kate: "Thank you, Charlie was getting almost as annoying as Michael used to be when he yelled for Walt. That was a neat trick, Jack."

Jack: "It was the best for everybody."

Everyone there goes to tents to sleep except Walt.

Michael: "I'm very proud of what you did today."

Sun: "Absolutely. Now you don't have to sleep in the net tonight; even though Jin is back, there must be room available, like in Ethan's."

Walt: "Thanks, but it was so much fun waking up in the net and escaping."

Michael: "If that's what you want, you've earned it. Have a good time."

Walt: "All right!" Walt runs toward his net and in a grand gesture jumps onto the trigger, and is promptly caught up in it. Jack, Hurley, and Jin have built it better, as they did the second net for boars nearby. Walt is suspended a good meter and a half off the ground, and the top closes tightly as he jumps up and down. He then acts like he's trying to get out. "I changed my mind."

Michael: "Do you expect anyone to believe that?"

Walt can't help but laugh. "No. Good night." Walt curls up happily in the net, and Michael and Sun go back to Michael's tent. Jin sleeps alone in the tent he and Sun used to share.

Jin: _I can't live like this, can I?_

* * *

Locke and Boone are searching for the hatch as it gets dark.

Boone: "We're not going to find it today. Let's go back to the camp."

Locke: "You go back, I want to keep looking. Here, you take this flashlight. I'm so talented I can find my way all around this place in the dark."

Locke tosses the flashlight to Boone, who misses it. It hits the ground and makes a clank sound.

Locke: "Fumble fingers."

Boone: "John, that's the hatch!"

Locke examines the ground. "Hey, good observation. We'll need a shovel to excavate this."

Boone: "There's a shovel or two salvaged from the plane wreckage."

Locke: "Then we have to go get one and start digging tomorrow. I'll leave a trail so we kind find this again easily."

Locke and Boone return to the beach in the dark, and sleep soundly in their tents.


	16. Raised by Psychos

Author's notes: Yes, Desmond is due to make an appearance, but a few significant Season 1 events have to happen first. There are also still a few Season 1 episode titles to adapt, and I haven't figured out how to write Desmond yet.

* * *

Sun and Michael wake up, and find Walt still sleeping in the net.

Sun: "It's hard to believe he likes sleeping like that."

Michael: "It's hard to believe his attitude improved so much. I don't want to mess anything up."

Sun: "I won't. But I think I understand him better." With a twinkle in her eye, she reaches through the net and tickles Walt's feet.

Walt wakes suddenly, flailing his arms and legs and getting tangled up. Sun and Michael laugh.

Walt: "Wha – ha ha ha!"

Walt recovers, and remembering where is he, gets out of the net a few minutes faster than the day before since he now knows what to do. He triumphantly climbs down the side, noticing the net is suspended a bit higher than the day before, as he hangs by his hands for a second near the bottom of the net before dropping onto the sand. He comically beats his chest.

Sun: "That was very impressive Walt."

Michael: "Yes it was, that was definitely an improvement. Now what would you like to do today?"

Walt: "I think it would be neat if we all played golf. Sun needs to do something other than her garden and go on walks with you."

Sun coughs. "That sounds nice."

Michael, Walt, and Sun make the early tee time.

* * *

Kate wakes up in her tent. She reaches for some clothes, and then remembers all she has is the underwear she has on. Then she remembers what led to that situation. _The suitcase! What happened to it? Must have been Sawyer._ With no other options, she seeks out Sawyer, and finds him swimming, although his jeans have been left near the shoreline. She stands on them.

Kate: "Sawyer! What did you do with that suitcase yesterday?"

Sawyer realizes he needs to answer or he could have his own serious wardrobe problem.

Sawyer: "That was a dropped story line. The writer forgot about it in the excitement of the Hobbit's rescue."

Kate: "No, seriously." She steps off, and then picks up the jeans.

Sawyer is annoyed. _Oh come on! Stealing someone's clothes when they're swimming in the nude is so horribly cliché._

Sawyer: "Let's think logically. I was carrying it, and then someone told me to pull on a vine, so I must have dropped it. I forgot about it, so it still must be near that cave."

Kate realizes this makes sense. She drops the jeans, turns her back, and walks away, while shouting loud enough for Sawyer to hear: "Then we have to go back and get it."

Sawyer gets out and pulls on his jeans. "So what's in that case, honey?"

Kate snorts: "Uh … personal items."

Sawyer: "Like what? Beauty products, a change of clothes, oh right, you can't have a change of clothes when you don't have clothes in the first place."

Kate growls. "Let's just go." Kate and Sawyer hike back to the cave where Charlie had been trapped. Sawyer really enjoys the view of Kate.

* * *

Jack, Charlie, Hurley, and Jin are eating breakfast together.

Jack: "Charlie, you've had a rough experience. You should try to partake in some normal activities."

Charlie: "There's nothing normal about this island."

Hurley: "We could go golfing later – I saw another group get to the course already."

Jin: "Fish."

Jack: "Hey, there's a good idea. We can all go fishing, and Jin can teach us how to improve."

Hurley: "I just got another great idea. I can teach Jin English."

Charlie: "You? Your grasp of the language is … not exactly teaching material."

Hurley: "Well, I've hung out with him more, and you have a funny accent."

Jack: "I'm the best educated, but watching you guys teach Jin English could provide me some good entertainment. Then I may get a chance to repair any damage, which I do very well."

The four of them go to the shore, and Jin demonstrates fishing technique with a net he had made before.

Jin: "Dudes …" Jin is at a loss for words after that, but tries to understand Hurley's and Charlie's words, while they try to improve their fishing skills. Jack offers encouragement from time to time.

* * *

Kate and Sawyer arrive at the caves. After several minutes of searching, they find the suitcase.

Sawyer: "So now what, Victoria's Secret Model?"

Kate: "These are very hard to open. A crowbar would help. I don't suppose you have one in your stash?"

Sawyer: "Sorry, but can't we just smash it open? They're plenty of heavy rocks here."

Sawyer picks up a good-sized boulder, and lifts it over his head. Kate's heart flutters at the sight of his upper body muscles in action. Sawyer then smashes the rock on the suitcase, to no effect.

Sawyer: "Tough bugger that, thing."

Kate: _I could watch him all day doing that. _"You may have loosened it a little. How about you keep trying?"

Sawyer makes several more attempts, but only dents the suitcase a little. "This isn't working. We may need more height, say from high in a tree."

Kate: "I'm great at climbing trees. You think we should throw the case from up high onto the rocks?"

Sawyer: "It's worth a try." _And it's my turn to look at your body exerting itself._

Kate climbs up several feet, and Sawyer tosses her the suitcase. She climbs up as high as the branches will support her weight, and then flings the case down onto the rocks. The case is scuffed noticeably, but the locks hold.

* * *

Michael, Walt, and Sun finish their round of golf. They eat lunch, and then,

Michael: "Walt, why don't you go play with John and Boone now?"

Walt: "I don't know exactly where they are."

Michael: "Good!" _That will give more time for Sun and me to be alone._ "I mean, think of it as a game of hide and seek. They're probably somewhere around those caves."

Walt: "Neat idea! I like games."

Michael: "That's the spirit. And try to come back as close to a half hour before sunset as possible."

Walt: "Got it. See you later." Walt runs off into the jungle.

Sun: "That was impressive. You've gotten much better at handling your son."

Michael: "Yeah, it's a learning process. I've found that John is a great influence on Walt, and it's important for him to spend time with different people."

Sun: "You do remember the last time Walt was alone with John, he tied Walt to a tree and left him there?"

Michael: "Precisely. And see how much better Walt is for the experience? I have complete confidence in John. Anything he wants to do with my son is fine with me."

Sun: "I see what you mean. Now I think you should take an interest in what I'm doing. See how my garden is developing."

Michael isn't terribly interested in the garden, but it will make Sun happy. "I'd be delighted. Let's go."

Sun and Michael go to Sun's garden, where she explains all the vegetables and medicinal plants she is cultivating.

* * *

Jack, Charlie, Hurley, and Jin catch several fish, and it is time for their lunch. They cook and prepare some of the fish under Jin's directions, accomplished mostly by hand gestures. They see the golf bag has been returned to the first tee, and then they go there for the afternoon tee time.

Hurley: "Let's add some holes to this course. Four is too few, and it's a number I don't particularly like."

Jack: "Hurley, you seem to have an obsession with certain numbers, but I agree we should make a longer course."

After they play two holes, they create a new third hole going away, and a new fourth hole coming back toward the camp. The original third and fourth holes are now the fifth and sixth.

* * *

Walt is wandering the woods near the caves. "John! Boone! Where are you?"

Locke hears from a distance. "Boone, we can't let Walt know about the hatch yet. Circle around and cut him off by the caves."

Boone: "Okay."

Locke and Boone do that, and Locke calls to Walt from the side, away from the hatch. "Walt, over here. What are you doing out here?"

Walt: "Oh, hi guys. Dad said I should spend some time with you."

Locke: "Oh, you mean he wanted more time alone with Sun."

Walt: "Yeah. Is this okay?"

Locke: "Of course it is. And I have something we can do. Walt, I didn't mean for you to wear that little boarskin loincloth for more than an emergency basis. Now that we have time, let's make something else for you out of the skin that's left. There looks like enough for a pair of real shorts, or a vest."

Walt hadn't given a thought to his attire for the past two days. His face went blank, and then regained its expression.

Walt: "It would be wrong for me to take more than I need from what the island provided. You should use all of the boar that you can, but you should save the skin for someone who actually needs it."

Locke is impressed by Walt's selflessness. "That's very enlightened of you. Do you think someone else needs it?"

Walt: "Kate was freaked out by having to run around in her underwear. And it was my dog who ran off with her clothes, so she deserves it. How about her?"

Locke: "That makes sense. Are you sure about this?"

Walt: "Yes, I can feel it's the right thing to do by the island."

Locke: "I have an idea to test whether you are getting the correct messages from the island." Locke takes a knife and throws it straight into the center of a knot on a tree from fifteen meters away. He hands Walt another knife. "Your turn."

Walt holds the knife for a few seconds, and visualizes its trajectory in his mind's eye. He then throws the knife at the target – and it sticks into the wooden hilt of the knife Locke has just thrown.

Boone has been standing off to the side, and is impressed. "Whooooa!"

Locke gasps in awe. "That was amazing, better than you ever did before. But … you ruined my knife."

Walt: "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Do I need to be tied to a tree again to teach me a lesson?"

Locke: "No, it's my fault for not removing my knife, and we need variety." Locke needs a moment to think. "It's time you went on a walkabout."

Walt: "That sounds neat. What am I supposed to do?"

Locke: "Since this is your first time, we'll keep it simple. Just go back to the beach through the woods, but don't take any path you've been on before. In fact, avoid paths. Explore, experience the island to the fullest."

Walt: "That sounds like fun. Like a real Aborigine."

Locke: "It should be more rewarding than fun, but let's see how it goes. If you can handle that, then we can consider longer and more realistic walkabouts. You will have to live by your wits for days or weeks at a time."

Walt: "Sounds great. See you later, then." Walt takes off into the jungle, going between two paths, and soon has to fight his way through tangles of vines. _What is John talking about, this is fun!_

When Walt has left, Locke speaks. "Boone, Walt is a great kid, but I had to get rid of him now. I have to follow through, and make Kate something out of the rest of this boarksin."

Boone: "I don't think there's enough for one solid piece. I suggest a miniskirt and a bikini bra."

Locke: "I defer to your fashion sense and judgment. You know, we could make a vest for you instead."

Boone: "Walt has the right attitude; I don't really need it either. And I have a fan base that likes me shirtless. I just wish it was as big as Sawyer's."

Locke: "All right then, you are receiving good messages from the island as well. You can go back to the hatch and I'll catch up to you."

Boone leaves, and Locke fashions Kate's new outfit from the remaining pieces of boarskin. He cleans and sterilizes it over a fire, and places it in his pack.

* * *

Kate and Sawyer are exasperated.

Sawyer: "This is ridiculous. I need a break. I'm up for a swim, and then we can go back. See if there is something I have in my stash that can crack open this case."

Kate: _Swimming with Sawyer is never a bad thing._ "Okay."

Kate climbs down from the tree, and they go to the pond with the waterfall. They lose track of time, and paddle around for hours. They finally get out.

Sawyer chuckles.

Kate: "What is it?"

Sawyer: "Your swimsuit didn't hold up to all that water so well, my little mermaid. It's a bit on the transparent side now."

Kate shrieks, and tries to cover herself up.

Sawyer: "They'll dry faster if you take them off."

Kate: "Forget it, buster."

They go home, with Sawyer carrying the suitcase. Kate streaks for her tent once they get to the edge of the beach.

* * *

Locke goes back to the hatch. "How's it going, Boone?"

Boone: "Not so good. It's a bunch of metal with no way to open it. There's this thick glass on top, Plexiglas I imagine, bulletproof."

Locke inspects the excavation. I believe you're right. But we have to keep going. There should be some other opening farther down."

Boone: "Okay. Hey, what do I say if people ask what we're doing away from camp all the time?"

Locke: "Just tell them we're hunting for boar. It's gotten harder since they're scared of us, so we have to cover more ground."

* * *

Danielle is listening at the door of the Staff. It sounds like Ben, Juliet, and Ethan are talking in a room not near the door.

Ben: "So what have you found out?"

Juliet: "That Sawyer and Jack are the men I want to see first, but I'm keeping an open mind."

Ben: "No! I mean, what did you find out about Claire?"

Juliet: "Oh. It appears that the overabundance of that second enzyme is due to stress. It might adversely affect the health of her baby. Also, the baby will require a nursing mother, and of course no one in our village is capable of fulfilling that task."

Ethan: "So we should just bring her to our village?"

Juliet: "If we can keep her comfortable and stress-free, that could work."

Ben: "We should be able to do that."

Danielle decides the time is right. She enters the Staff, and finds Claire strapped to the examination table. Danielle undoes the straps, and then wedges a chair under the doorknob to the room where Ben, Juliet, and Ethan are talking. Danielle then goes back to Claire.

Claire, very groggy: "What's happening? Who are you?"

Danielle recognizes the language as English, and adapts.

Danielle: "Get up. We have to get out of here."

Danielle helps Claire to her feet, and then out the door. Danielle wedges a branch between the twin door handles. "I am Danielle. Those are bad people, they are Others."

Claire's mind is foggy. "Others? Ethan is my friend … or did he do that to me?"

Danielle: "They are not your friends. Do you know a man named Jin?"

Claire: "Jin … Jin .. " Claire's memory returns slowly. "Jin, the Korean man. Doesn't speak English. Wasn't very nice to his wife, and left when he found her with another man. You saw Jin?"

Danielle: "Yes, I saw him. Are you part of a group?"

Claire: "Group … yes, sort of. We were in a plane crash."

Things were making more sense to Danielle. "How many are you?"

Claire: "Let's see, eighteen, I believe. Plus a dog. But that includes Ethan."

Danielle: "Ethan is a spy. Was any one of them named Alex?"

Claire: "Sorry, there was no Alex among us." Claire goes on to describe each of the passengers for Danielle.

Danielle is disappointed, but she does have a mission. "We must hurry, they must be after us."

At eight and a half months pregnant, Claire isn't making very good speed.

* * *

Ben: "All right, it's settled, we take Claire to our village now. We'll bring the supplies we need from here." Ben tries to open the door, but it won't move. "What? It's locked? No, there's something holding it shut."

Juliet: "Claire was strapped down tight enough. She couldn't have gotten up and done that, right?"

Ben: "I think you're right. She must have had help."

Ethan: "But that would mean someone did this in broad daylight? I would have expected that in the middle of the night." Ethan bangs his shoulder repeatedly on the metal door. It gives little by little.

Ben reflects. "Yes, that's what one would expect. This is a very clever individual, or individuals. Ethan, do you think some of the Oceanics could have done this?"

Ethan: "I don't see how. I didn't leave any tracks, and none of them know about this place. That Korean guy was out cold."

Juliet: "There is a person clever enough for such a job … Alex."

Ben: "Good thought, but I told Bea and Tom to keep an eye on her and that useless boyfriend of hers while I'm away. I will ask though."

Ethan rams the door one more time with great force, and it gives way, splintering the chair Danielle had lodged under the doorknob. "Owww!"

Juliet: "What is it, Ethan?"

Ethan: "I got an owee on that last hit. My shoulder hurts."

Juliet: "Should I kiss the boo-boo to make it better?"

Ethan: "Don't be ridiculous."

Juliet: "Humpf." She gets a syringe, rips the right shoulder of Ethan's shirt, and injects him with a painkiller. "Does that feel better?"

Ethan: "I'm okay now. But you didn't have to rip my shirt even more."

Juliet: "If you don't catch Claire in time, you'll have to infiltrate their camp again, and it sounds like most of the guys have lost their shirts, so you'll fit in better."

Ben: "Good thinking, Juliet. I like a woman who can think on her feet. Now Ethan, take a tranquilizer gun filled with the amnesia solution and shoot Claire with it when you get the chance. Also take these syringes in case you have to do the job by hand."

Ethan takes the supplies, and tries to open the front doors of the Staff. He fails because the branch Danielle wedged through the handles. "Shucks, whoever did this is clever!"

Ben: "Do you have to use such strong language in the presence of my lady?"

Juliet: "I'm not your lady!"

Ben: "Sorry, I meant, 'a lady'."

Juliet: "How sweet that you think of me as a lady. But I assure you I can handle that kind of language."

Ethan rams the doors repeatedly, and eventually snaps the branch holding them prisoner. He runs back toward the beach, but Claire and Danielle have a big head start. They take an indirect path so Ethan has a hard time finding them. After a couple hours, though, he closes in. He fires his tranquilizer gun at Claire from a distance.

Claire shrieks: "Oww!"

Danielle alertly pulls the dart out of Claire's back, and dashes off to the side so she doesn't get hit.

Boone: "John, did you hear that?"

Claire and Danielle had managed to make it within a hundred yards of the hatch, where Locke and Boone were still working.

Locke: "Yes, I did, that sounded like Claire. We can't let her find out about this yet."

Boone: "Um, and she might be hurt, we have to help."

Locke: "Oh right, that too."

Boone and Locke make their way toward the sound. Ethan gets there first, and realizes he has little time. He sticks another amnesia drug-filled syringe into Claire's shoulder, and speaks:

Ethan: "Claire, you will remember nothing of our time together after we were looking for Walt. We had a nice time in a place whose location you won't remember, but we met Jin and you left him a note. You felt your baby kick, and we thought it was best to leave and be near the doctor."

Claire fades out and in. "Nice time … Jin … doctor … Ethan, what happened?"

Ethan: "We were just going back to the beach. We had a nice little retreat, but you said you thought the baby was coming soon."

Just then Locke and Boone arrive.

Locke: "What's going on?"

Ethan: "We were just coming back from our little retreat. Claire started feeling a little woozy, and it's time to be near the doctor."

Boone: "We got your note, Claire."

Claire: "Note … oh yes, good. Jin … right, we gave it to Jin." Claire's mind clears up, but retains the false memories Ethan implanted. "I'm better now, let's keep going."

Locke isn't completely sure. "It's getting late, why don't we go with you?" _and make sure you don't see the hatch._

Ethan can't afford any suspicion. "Sure, we'd love to have you join us."

They all walk back to the beach.

* * *

Walt is making his way through unexplored territory off to the east side of the route between the beach and the caves. He has to force his way through some dense bushes, and upon doing so, stumbles over the edge of a hill, rolls down it, and splashes into a pond, this one without a waterfall. _This would be a great place to play._ But Walt has to get home before dark. He climbs out and continues.

* * *

Shannon and Sayid spend most of the day making out in a private area in the jungle. At one point, Shannon opens her eyes, and looking over Sayid's shoulder, screams at something moving behind him.

Sayid, alarmed: "What is it?"

Shannon: "It … it looks like Walt, and he's dripping wet."

Walt is afraid he stumbled onto a scene he shouldn't have seen, and runs out of sight. Sayid turns around, and there's no one there.

Sayid: "Funny how you keep seeing Walt in the jungle. But this time there is no one out there. It was probably your imagination."

Shannon: "No, I'm sure … oh, never mind, it was probably some shadow caused by the wind. Sorry I overreacted."

Shannon and Sayid resume what they were doing, and then head back to the beach in time for dinner. Walt makes a big circle around them, and then makes it back as well.

* * *

Locke, Boone, Claire, and Ethan arrive at the camp late.

Boone: "Hi everybody, Claire and Ethan are back. No problems, they just felt it was time to return."

Charlie, back from the golf game, rushes up. "Claire, are you really all right?"

Claire: "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? Oh, and how about you?"

Charlie: "I'm clean now. Actually I got trapped in a cave-in for a day, and was forced to undergo withdrawal symptoms, but I'm fine now."

Claire: "That's nice. So … you lost your shirt too?"

Charlie: "What? Oh yeah. It got pinned by some rocks in the cave, and when I was pulled out, it was left behind."

Claire looks around: "Sounds like an epidemic."

Charlie: "Yeah. Watch out, you could be next."

Claire: "Well, I prefer to keep my maternity outfit until after the delivery."

Ethan has been taking mental notes: "Isn't it about time you run along, Charlie?"

Charlie doesn't want to antagonize Claire at the moment. "Sure." Charlie drifts off to join Hurley and Jin for dinner.

* * *

Locke goes to Kate's tent.

Locke: "Hello Kate?"

Kate covers herself up again. "What do you want?"

Locke: "I got a little present for you. Since you became sartorially challenged, we thought we'd make you a better outfit. Here." Locke tosses the two-piece boarskin outfit to Kate.

Kate is touched. "I don't know what to say. Thank you." She puts it on over her wet underwear.

Locke: "You're welcome."

Kate: "What is this? It looks like the same material Walt is wearing."

Locke: "It is. I was going to make him a more decent outfit, but he said that the remaining boarskin should be used for you. He feels bad about his dog running off with your clothes, and insists on consuming no more island resources for himself until all our clothing problems are resolved."

Kate: "How sweet of him. And sweet of you for making this. I couldn't go another day in the same underwear."

Locke: "That boarskin you can wear every day for weeks. And something else for you. I found these on the way back here."

Locke tosses Kate an orange, and takes a bite out of another orange himself.

Kate gives Locke a small peck on the cheek. Locke practically reels from the gesture as a slice of the skin of his orange shows between his lips.


	17. Innumeracy

The next morning Hurley is feeling down. He goes and sits by the beach. Claire decides to keep him some company and sits down beside him.

Claire: "What's up, Hurley?"

Hurley: "Oh, nothing. I … sometimes feel like I'm not being paid much attention, and sometimes that gets me down."

Claire: "Don't worry about that. My psychic says you should be careful what you wish for."

Hurley: "Your psychic? You believe in those dudes?"

Claire: "Yes I do. Do you?"

Hurley: "No … um … maybe … I don't know."

Claire: "Do you believe in things like horoscopes, start charts, or numerology?"

Hurley jumps. "Numberology … is that when certain numbers are cursed?"

Claire: "It's 'numerology,' and that's not exactly what it is. Numbers can predict your life events, that sort of thing."

Hurley: "It sounds like it's possible some are cursed."

Claire struggles up: "If you believe that enough, that may come to pass. Be careful."

Sawyer comes by after his morning swim. His wet jeans appear to be getting a little tighter.

Sawyer: "So, if it isn't Large Mouth Bass and Claire Bear, what are you two up to?"

Claire: "Claire Bear!?" Claire slaps Sawyer in the face. "Don't you ever call me that again. 'Claire Bear' is the Claire from that other show!"

Sawyer is taken aback. "Well, excuuuuuuuuse me. How about Mama Bear?"

Claire: "That's better." Claire storms off anyway.

Hurley: "Did that 'excuuuuuuuuse' have eight u's in it?"

Sawyer: "What are you talking about?"

Hurley: "Um, never mind. _Quick, change the subject. _"Chicks can get all hormonal when they're pregnant."

Sawyer: "Thank you for that astute piece of advice, Dr. Know-it-none. Find something useful to do." _There's still Kate and that suitcase of her._ Sawyer goes over to his stash.

Walt prances by, doing all sorts of flips, somersaults, and cartwheels on the sand.

Hurley: "Morning Walt. You sure seem to be in a good mood."

Walt: "You betcha. I just demolished my record for getting out of my net. Four minutes and twenty-three seconds!" Walt beams.

Hurley: "Four-twenty three … eh eh eh."

Walt: "What's the matter?"

Hurley: "Uh … nothing. I … hope you get out in less than four minutes next time."

Walt: "Thanks, I'm going to try. This just feels like such a great day!" Walt prances away the way he came.

Hurley: _I've got to take my mind off this. I'll go fishing._

Hurley takes one of the fishing nets and casts it into the ocean. He pulls it back, and has a couple fish. Jin comes over and takes another net, and begins fishing as well.

Hurley: "How about a contest? See who can get the catch the most fish in an hour?"

Jin tries to think of the English response. "Say what?"

* * *

Sawyer discovers that he has an axe in his stash. He and Kate ponder how to use it without destroying the contents of the sturdy suitcase.

Kate: "How about we wedge the axe in the crack, and pound on it with a blunt instrument?"

Sawyer: "Blunt instrument? That sounds like cop talk."

Kate: "It does? I mean, I must have picked it up from some TV show." _May have slipped there._ "How about, pounding it with a hammer, or rock?"

Sawyer: "I think I have a hammer. Let's see, here, this should do the trick."

Sawyer pounds away, but the suitcase is stubborn.

* * *

Hurley: "Time's up! Count your fish."

Jin, an unusual look on his face, looks at Hurley.

Hurley: "Come on dude, count your fish. One, two, three, …" _let's not say the next number out loud, mumble, mumble, _"… fifteen. Darn it!"

Jin still has a perplexed look on his face.

Hurley: "Now we count mine. One, mumble, mumble, hey I win, no!!! Sixteen!" Hurley drops the net containing the fish and runs away across the beach.

Jin: _What is his problem? What season will it be before I can understand what he said?_

* * *

Sawyer keeps on pounding on the suitcase with the hammer and axe, and finally breaks one clasp, and then the other just as Hurley comes by.

Hurley: "What's all the racket?"

Sawyer: "None of your business, Doughboy."

The suitcase bursts open, sending a spray of gag snakes, springs covered with fabric, into the air.

Sawyer: "What the … ?"

Kate: "It looks like someone played a practical joke. Oh, here it is."

Kate fishes out a small model airplane. It has the Oceanic logo on it, and a serial number on it.

Sawyer: "We went to all that trouble for that?"

Kate: "It has sentimental value." _My former boyfriend gave that to me._

Hurley impulsively collects the gag snakes. "Forty, forty-one, forty-two, … oh no!" Hurley drops the snakes in alarm.

Kate: "What's the matter?"

Hurley: "The numbers again – forty-two snakes!"

Kate: "Stop worrying about that." _I have to distract him._ "See this little plane? Isn't it cute?"

Hurley holds the plane. "Oceanic? It would be. Nice detail, hey, there's a serial number on it … 481516 … noooo!" Hurley tosses the toy plane back to Kate and scurries back to the beach.

* * *

Ethan gets a chance to use the walkie-talkie in secret.

Ethan: "Ben, you there?"

Ben: "Yes, I'm here, we're back in the village."

Ethan: "Shall I kidnap Claire again?"

Ben: "We don't need her now. We have to finish the analysis of her blood samples, and then reassess.

Juliet shoves her way next to Ben so she can hear.

Juliet: "What is the men's clothing situation now?"

Ethan: "More of the same. Since I took Claire to the Staff, Jin and the runt Charlie lost their shirts, and no one has found any."

Juliet: "Thanks for the good news."

Ben: "Enough of that. Now for our next order of business, what is the status of Walt?"

Ethan chuckles: "The kid managed to lose all his clothes, and is running around in some kind of animal skin loincloth, courtesy of Mr. Locke. Walt is in very good spirits though. Apparently this change took place right after Locke tied him to a tree in some kind of bizarre ritual, and several passengers went by him before he finally got loose."

Ben: "Very interesting. I'll have to meet this Locke in person some time. He sounds like a person who could be very useful to us."

Ethan: "Maybe, but that guy is creepy. Besides Pace, he is the only one that may be suspicious of me, but he seems to be preoccupied with something else, usually with Boone. Oh, Kate also lost her outer clothes, and Locke made an animal skin outfit for her as well. She looks stunning in that."

Ben: "She does? Perhaps I'll have to see for myself some day."

Juliet: "If it will keep your eyes off me, I'll be glad to help arrange the visit."

Ethan: "So what are the plans on kidnapping the boy?"

Ben: "That can wait until we're finished with Claire's bodily fluids. It will get too confusing if we do too many things at once. Just keep acting normal, and don't do anything to make yourself suspicious."

* * *

Hurley tries to settle down playing golf with Charlie and Jack. After they finished the third hole,

Charlie: "Hey mate, we got a surprise for you. We added some more holes."

Hurley: "Wow, thanks dudes."

They finish the round, and Hurley is nervous.

Hurley: "How many more holes did you add?"

Charlie: "Just two, so we now have eight."

Hurley: "Ah ah ah …"

Jack: "What's wrong, Hurley?"

Hurley: "Numbers … the numbers …"

Jack: "Calm down, let's add up our scores. We got some par fives now, so the scores are higher than before. Let's see, … forty-eight for Charlie, forty-four for me, and … congratulations, you won with forty-two! That great eight-iron shot on the last hole did it for you."

Hurley: "No! That can't be right. Change something."

Jack: "Hurley, sit down. Let me take your pulse."

Hurley sits down, but his heart is pumping faster than it should in a resting position.

Jack: "Hmm, one hundred eight beats per minute. You are agitated about something."

Hurley: "Not one-o-eight! That's the sum!"

Charlie: "Some what?"

Jack: "No, 'sum' as in a total. But Hurley, you have an unhealthy obsession with these numbers. We have to do something else to take your mind off them."

Hurley: "It's hopeless. I'm cursed. They'll follow me wherever I go."

Charlie: "That's poppycock. Why don't we try backgammon?"

Hurley: "Is there enough time today?"

Jack: "Sure, it's only four fifteen."

Hurley: "Aaaaaaaah."

Charlie: "You shouldn't have rounded the time, Doc."

Jack: "Sorry, it's really four sixteen and twenty-three seconds."

Hurley: "Aaaaaaaah, that's not any better."

Charlie: "Did those 'aaaaaaaah's have eight a's in them?"

Hurley: "Go away dude."

Jack: "Do you prefer military time? That would be sixteen sixteen and …"

Hurley: "Aaaaaaaah!" Hurley bolts and runs back to the beach. He grabs the backgammon set and sets up the pieces.

Claire: "What are you doing? You can't play backgammon by yourself."

Hurley: "The numbers are haunting me. Any time I do anything with anyone, there they are."

Claire: "I hate to see you like this; we need you to keep our spirits up. Let's have a game; I'd like to see this for myself."

Hurley: "You asked for it."

They play a game, and it is close. Hurley's last four roles are 1-5, 1-6, 2-3, and 4-2, with him winning on the last role.

Hurley: "I told you! I'm cursed."

Claire: "Hurley, look at this." Claire takes the dice and switches their positions. "You rolled a 2-4 at the end, twenty-four, all right?"

Hurley: "Twe-twenty-four?"

Claire: "And these were the rolls before that. Fifty-one, sixty-one, and thirty-two. You're seeing the numbers when they aren't necessarily there. Just switch the digits of the two-digit numbers."

Hurley: "Sw-switch? That's all I have to do? What about the four and the eight?"

Claire: "The four you may be stuck with, but you should be all right if you only run into one of the numbers often. If you see an eight, look at it sideways, and it becomes an infinity."

Hurley: "What? Infinity?"

Claire: "You know, the math symbol. Hey, I did take algebra in school; I'm not some dumb blonde."

Hurley: "I was never good in math All I can do well is add a certain set of numbers. But this sounds like something Sayid should be saying."

Claire: "He's too infatuated with the dumb blonde. No sorry, I shouldn't have said that; the joke was too good to resist. Shannon is highly underrated."

Hurley: "Uh, right. Thanks for talking to me. I realize that now there's something else on my mind."

Claire: "Good. What is it?"

Hurley: "I'm hungry."

Everybody returns for a peaceful dinner.

* * *

Many of the next several days are similar. Locke and Boone go off and dig up more and more of the hatch. Shannon and Sayid spend a lot of their time on jungle walks and frolicking around. Claire becomes less mobile, and sits on the beach, usually with Ethan nearby. Sun fusses about her garden, sometimes with Michael. Most of the others play golf and backgammon on a regular basis. Walt spends many hours playing fetch with Vincent, and on other days, when Vincent sees Gussie, Walt goes on day-long walkabouts. On these, Locke starts wrapping Walt up fairly tightly in vines, so it takes Walt several minutes to get loose, giving Locke enough time to get far enough away so that Walt can't follow him to the hatch. The castaways do take turns collecting water and fruit, and more become competent fishers under Jin's guidance.

Then one day Michael has a revelation that changes everything. He makes a grand announcement. After breakfast on the twenty-third day on the island,

Michael: "We have to face reality. Rescue is not coming. We can't spend the rest of our lives here, so we have to save ourselves. I propose we build a raft, and sail out of here. What do you all say?"

Sayid: "That's foolhardy. You don't know where you need to go, and how far you must travel. It could be weeks before you find another ship or land."

Kate: _I got to be on that raft, and run before anyone finds out I've escaped._ "I like the idea. Mike's right, we'll all rot here if we don't try anything."

Locke: "Not a good idea. The island will tell us when it's time to leave."

Boone: "I agree. It's too risky."

Shannon: "Oh Boone, you can't think for yourself any more, and always follow John like a puppy dog. I say we go for it."

Jack: "That would have been a good idea if I had thought of it."

Hurley: "Whoa, dude, that's like, dangerous. If we do this I'll help build it, but someone else can go on it." _I'd die if I caused it to sink._

Claire: "I think that's a good idea. I don't want to have my baby on this island, and there isn't much time left."

Ethan: _We can't let them leave, even if it's very unlikely they hit the exact compass heading._ "I think that's too dangerous."

Charlie: _I get to side with Claire and against Ethan._ "I like the idea. I'll do whatever I can to help. I won't be a great swimmer for another couple seasons, so some other blokes can go first."

Walt: _No, I like it here. I don't want to leave._ "I also think it's too dangerous. There could be sharks."

Sawyer: "It's high time we get off this rock. I'll provide Captain Cook with materials, for a spot on the raft."

Sun: "That sounds awfully risky. Maybe we should keep waiting."

Jin, in Korean, "What did he say?"

Due to the importance of the situation, Sun translates for Jin.

Jin, in Korean: "I should be on the raft. I have a lot of experience on fishing boats. My honor demands I make the attempt."

Sun, to everyone else: "Jin says he should be on the raft because he has a lot of experience on fishing boats, and he feels honor-bound to do so."

Michael: "I think that's eight votes. That's close to enough. I'm building this thing."

Hurley: "Eight? Arrgh, I should change my vote."

Michael: "Too late."

Sayid, concerned that Shannon voted for the raft, even if it was mainly a vote against Boone. "I shall do all that I can also in this endeavor. You realize that we shall have to choose who goes on this vessel."

Michael: "I figure it should be big enough to hold three and a half to four people. It will be me, and Walt, and it sounds like Sawyer and Jin have the best arguments for joining us."

Kate: "Hey, I'm sure I'm a better sailor than Sawyer. I did stuff like that with my father." _I mean stepfather. Hold it, I can't change my story or someone might get suspicious._

Walt: "Kate can have my place."

Michael: "No, you're my son, and I'm responsible for you, and you're coming with me."

Walt petulantly folds his arms across his chest. _We'll see about that._


	18. Spaced Outlaw

The next morning, Sun and Michael are talking.

Sun: "I've been thinking, and I'm really not sure about this raft thing. I wish you'd talked to me about it first."

Michael: "Why? I made up my mind. You want to stay on this island forever?"

Sun: "No, I mean, there's probably a better way. I don't want to run into my father, and … I just wish we had discussed this. Like what are you planning to do if this crazy plan of yours does work?"

Michael: "We'd tell everyone the rest of you were here alive, and send a rescue plane or ship. And what do you mean, 'crazy'?"

Sun: "Did you ever think that some of us would not want the world to know we were here? And it's crazy because you don't know exactly where you're going, and there will be no chance of help if something goes. The first big wave could capsize you."

Michael: "I can design a raft better than that. And wanting to stay here is ridiculous. Well, maybe not if you're John Locke."

Sun: "That's not what I meant. I could be rescued after those who want to found right away are."

Michael: "I guess I didn't think of that."

Sun: "You don't think enough. I need to go for a walk. Have fun with your raft."

* * *

There is only one axe, and somehow it got into Sawyer's stash. So he gets first crack at it.

Sawyer: _I'm going to improve my image just before we get out of here._

Sawyer chops down some bamboo trees, and cuts pieces to length for the raft. He draws some attention. Soon Kate, Claire, Sun, and Shannon are watching, and Kate provides the occasional water bottle.

Claire: "Kate, tearing off and burning Sawyer's shirt was a great service to us all."

Kate: "Oh? Um, thanks. That's me, the perpetual do-gooder."

After a while Sayid comes by.

Sayid: _Sawyer is not going to upstage me. _"Sawyer, you don't want to overexert yourself. I should take a turn."

Sawyer is tiring, but is thinking, _I'm not afraid of the competition._ Sawyer takes a final swing with the axe. "Suit yourself, Paul Bunyan."

Sawyer stretches in an exaggerated manner, pretending that no one is watching him. He carries the bamboo pieces to Michael at the beach, and then washes by taking a dip in the ocean.

Sayid works up a good sweat chopping the trees.

Shannon: "Isn't he just wonderful?"

Claire: "No argument here."

Kate and Sun nod in agreement.

A while later, Jin hears the noise of falling trees from where he is fishing. He goes to investigate, figures out what is going on and gets in on the action. Sayid figures he has done enough for now, and hands the axe to Jin, who takes his turn chopping.

Sun: "Watching Jin like this reminds me of why I married him. It would be nice if he treated me like he did when we were engaged."

Claire: "What's going on with Michael?"

Sun: "He's become so obsessed with this raft thing, and doesn't seem as interested in me or in what I think."

Claire: "Men can be so like that. At least he didn't run off and disappear like that worthless ex-boyfriend of mine." Claire pats her belly. _I don't think I can take more than one more episode of being pregnant._

* * *

Charlie and Hurley are helping Michael put the pieces together on the raft, when Jack comes by after inventorying the remaining medical supplies. He hears the chopping sounds of the axe.

Jack: "What's going on over there?"

Hurley: "Aww, some of the guys are showing off, cutting down trees in front of the girls to make logs for the raft."

Jack: "What? Why wasn't I informed?"

Hurley: "Dude, everyone thinks you get more than your share of screen time already."

Jack: "That's not possible." Jack rushes off to the site of the wood chopping, where Jin is cutting down trees. "No one should overdo it in this heat. Let me have a turn."

Sun translates for Jin, and when he sees her eyes, he is mesmerized. He stops chopping and hands the axe to Jack. Jack does his best lumberjack impersonation.

Kate: "He tries so hard to do everything. I'm afraid he's going to suffer a nervous breakdown some day."

* * *

During a lunch break, Michael and Walt sit down on logs to talk.

Michael: "Look Walt, we have a real life to get back to. I want you to grow up to get a real education, a real job, maybe meet a girl and have a family of your own. That isn't going to happen on this island."

Walt: "You don't know that. There could be more people crashing here."

Michael: "That's no way to think, and you can't count on that. Don't you have any ambition; don't you want to make something of your life?"

Walt: "I like it here. I feel like I belong here."

Michael: "But there's so much out there for you to discover in the real world. You'll soon run out of things to do here. Do you really think you can happy spending the rest of your life here; running around in that loincloth of yours?"

Walt: "No, of course not."

Michael is taken by surprise by that answer. "No? Then you do mean you're ready to leave here?"

Walt: "No, I mean my growth spurt is going to hit any time, and I'm going to need a bigger one. And this time, I'm going to kill my own boar and skin it myself. I rule at throwing knives now."

Michael chokes: "I'm sure you do, but what happened to the boy who was so humiliated in that outfit?"

Walt: "I changed. I realized it's very practical and comfortable. No having to worry about buying and washing clothes, or worrying about fashion. When it rains, who cares? It's just like taking a shower. And I don't have to change into a bathing suit if I want to go swimming."

Michael is left speechless.

Walt: "Oh, I want to apologize for laughing at you when you lost your shirt. You look all right for a man your age, and I want to look kind of like you when I grow up."

Michael splutters: "A man my age? I'm not that old. And flattering isn't going to work."

Walt: "Just face it. It was our destiny. The island compelled you to use your shirt for Boone's injury, and it compelled Vincent to run off with all my old clothes."

Michael: "That wasn't the island. I was looking for an excuse to look good sacrificing my shirt to keep up with the other men who were losing theirs and getting a lot of attention. And as for Vincent, I asked him to steal Sun's top, and he apparently kept on going, stealing yours and Kate's clothes after that. I told him to stop before he got to Locke and Hurley, and it seems to have worked."

Sun happens to be walking by. "You did what? You … you lied to me?"

Michael is distressed. "No, I mean, I was kidding, just a crazy idea …"

Sun: "I have to be by myself now." Sun stalks off.

Michael is upset, but Walt is laughing.

Walt: "You mean Vincent listens to you? And that you were responsible stranding me naked in that stream?"

Michael: "Uh … yes I am. I have to admit it. I'm sorry."

Walt: "Don't be sorry. If you hadn't, Locke wouldn't have had to make me the boarskin, or tied me to that tree, and make me face my issues and straighten me out. I was a brat before, and now I'm the happy boy anyone would love to have as a son. Also I may not have known where Charlie went off to, and he might have suffocated. That also gave you a chance to look good, and you need those chances. It was for the best."

Michael: "That's very big of you to think that way."

Walt: "Good. Then you understand that I have to stay here?"

Michael shakes his head. "No Walt, that doesn't change. We still have a real life out there in New York. I think you're likening this to a summer vacation. Well, just go out and enjoy the last few days of it. Vacations have to end sometime."

Walt is disappointed but already is plotting. "All right Dad, I understand."

Michael goes back to the raft, while Walt wanders around in the jungle, thinking about how he can stop the raft from sailing.

* * *

Locke and Boone are frustrated over not being able to open the hatch.

Locke: "This isn't working. I have an idea. We need a trebuchet."

Boone: "Trebuchet? What's that, some kinky French thing?"

Locke: "No, it's like a combination of a catapult and battering ram. They were popular from around five hundred to fifteen hundred years ago. We'll make a large spring loaded device, put a heavy pointed rock in a compartment at the top, and smash it down on top of the hatch."

Boone: "Won't that take a long time to build?"

Locke: "Yes, but the timing will work so it fits into the other plot lines."

Locke sketches the plans for the trebuchet. He and Boone start the process of collecting the rocks and cutting down trees and vines to make the parts.

* * *

Back in Othersville, Bea notices that her computer is running slow.

Bea: "Juliet, my machine is as slow as some of the plot lines around here. Is your computer having the same problem?"

Juliet: "What? Oh, I hadn't noticed."

Bea: "What are you doing? What are all these images?"

Juliet: "Ben asked me to research the passengers, and I needed to find some images."

Bea: "That shouldn't slow things down so much. Unless you're downloading thousands of images."

Juliet: "Well, I want to make sure I get the best ones. Isn't this a great one of Sawyer?"

Bea looks at the image: "Juliet, that's a mug shot."

Juliet: "I know, but isn't it the dreamiest mug shot you've ever seen?"

Bea: "I suppose, but Ben asked me to set up a series of tests for Walt, and I need more bandwidth to research all the possibilities."

Juliet: "That isn't going to happen for a while. Now over here, I found a picture of our Doctor Jack as he joined a Los Angeles hospital staff. Doesn't he look dashing?"

Bea: "I'm sure he does, but ..."

Juliet: "I found some of the others. Charlie Pace was a rock star, and there are lots of images of him. And this Hugo Reyes won over a hundred million dollars in the lottery. He doesn't look very comfortable. And this Boone is good looking, though awfully young. He's a bigwig in his mother's wedding business, and is on their website. The others have been harder to find, but I plan to keep working on it."

Ben enters. "What is going on? Are you two gossiping?"

Bea: "No, just discussing the computers' performance. They seem a little slow today."

Ben: "Good technical support is so hard to fine. But Juliet, you're supposed to be analyzing Claire's blood samples."

Juliet: "I have been. A component interacts oddly with the background radiation found on this island. We need to expose a sample to the air for at least a day, and then record the changes. Meanwhile, I'm researching the passengers."

Ben: "All right then. But those results better be in soon. And Bea, you know I want those tests set up."

Ben exits, to Juliet's and Bea's relief.

* * *

Many of the following days are similar. On one of them, Walt decides to go on a walkabout longer than any of his previous ones. After about three hours of walking toward the north-northeast, he is astonished to find a wrecked ship in the middle of the island. It is leaning to the side, and has a large hole in the hull at ground level. Looking upward, Walt sees a beaten-up skull and crossbones flag. There is also a plank overhanging one side.

Walt: _Cool! A real pirate ship. Only, there's no one to play pirates with. I would so love to make Dad walk the plank._

Walt walks around the ship, and sees lettering near the bow. The letters are faded, but he can make them out. _The "Purple Pebble"? What kind of a name for a ship is that?_

Walt goes through the breach, and sees boxes of dynamite. _I could blow up the raft. But how could I possibly get away with it?_ Full of excitement, Walt explores the ship. He gets the creeps when he sees manacles set into the wall, at both head and feet level. Fortunately there are no skeletons on this ship. He goes through the various cabins, but they are pretty much empty, not having been occupied for more than a century. He then gets on the deck and finds the plank. _I got an idea._

Walt goes back down and outside, and assembles a pile of leaves more than a meter high. He pushes the pile under the plank, and then gets back on the deck. With nobody else around, he has decided to make himself walk the plank. He holds his hands behind his back, and steps onto the plank. He bounces a few times as he walks forward, and then jumps into the piles of leaves, completely burying himself in them. "Wheeeeeeeee!"

He repeats this a few times, and then admits he has to go back home. He takes one last look around, and gets an idea. He takes a long wire fuse that had been intended for the dynamite, and wraps it many times around his waist. He then goes back to the beach, not realizing he has been watched since before reaching the ship.

Danielle had been out hunting when she heard Walt go by. Danielle remained hidden, and hoped that it was Alex, but was disappointed as the person walking through the woods had skin far too dark to be Alex's, in addition to obviously being a boy.

Remembering Claire's descriptions, Danielle figures it has to be Walt. She observes his behavior, and never lets her presence be known as she follows him part way back to the beach.

Danielle:_ That boy is nuttier than I am._

* * *

Ethan gets a chance to report on the walkie-talkie. "Ben? They're building a raft now."

Ben: "They are? Tell me the details."

Ethan: "Michael realized help is never coming, and he thinks he knows enough about construction to make a good raft. It's coming along pretty good. He intends to bring Walt, Jin, and Sawyer."

Juliet: "Noooo! We must stop them."

Ben: "Juliet, what are you doing here? Never mind, of course we have to stop them. Thanks for the heads-up; I have to come up with a brilliant plan."

* * *

As Walt gets near the beach, he uncoils the wire fuse from around his waist and hides it in a convenient hollow tree. He then returns to the beach, acting as normal as possible for him.

That night, he maneuvers out of the net like usual. Under the cover of darkness, he goes to the hollow tree and removes the wire fuse. He breaks off a piece of it, about a meter long, and leaves that in the tree. He then goes to the raft, and makes a trough in the sand with his feet, leading from the partially complete raft to under his net. He ties one end of the fuse to a wooden support for the raft, covers the fuse with sand, and then lays down the fuse in the trough, and covers that up with sand.

During the next day, Walt hides out until Sawyer is chopping down more trees. Walt sneaks into Sawyer's stash, and pilfers a matchbook. _Guess it was useful for Sawyer to smoke after all. He might not have had these matches otherwise._ Walt then hides the matchbook in the hollow tree with the wire fuse.

* * *

After several days of preparation, the trebuchet is ready. Locke and Boone have created a large catapult-like device out of many logs and vines. They place a boulder that fits snugly into a wooden container they have built about two feet cube, and pull the compartment back with a pair of vines. The main arm of the trebuchet is a tree trunk that is bent back like a spring. The moment of truth arrives. They let go of the vines, and the rock smashes with great force into the window at the top of the hatch. Unfortunately the glass does not crack, and the trebuchet disintegrates into hundreds of pieces.

Locke drops to his knees and pounds on the ground. "Why? Why me? Why are you tormenting me so?"

Boone: "Take it easy John. If the island means for us to open this I'm sure it will show us the way."

Locke recovers. "You're sounding like me now. I have accomplished something. Let's get back, and give this a rest."

* * *

That evening, as Walt returns from another walkabout, he goes to the hollow tree, and wraps the wire fuse around the inside of his waistband, and sticks the matchbook inside the back of the center piece of his loincloth. He eats dinner casually, arousing no suspicion. He then takes a vine and places it near his net, and digs up the end of the fuse under the net, and makes a small sand pile around it so he can find it later. Next, he waits by his net for an unwitting accomplice. Soon enough, Boone comes by, and Walt then steps into his net trap. He bounces to cinch the top tight like normal.

Walt: "Hey Boone, it's been getting too easy for me to get out of this. It would be better for my development if it were more of a challenge. Could you please take that vine there, and tie it tightly around the top of this net, and tie the other end to a tree so I can't reach it?"

Boone appreciates the diversion from the hatch. "I'd be delighted to help you out." Boone takes the vine, and climbs up the outside of the net, and then threads it through the gaps in the net around the top, and pulls it tight. He climbs back down, and then ties the other end to a tree eight yards away.

Boone: "How's that?"

Walt climbs up the inside of the net, and tugs at the new knot. He pretends he can't loosen it all. "Gee, you didn't have to make it that tight. That's going to take me hours to undo."

Boone: "You asked for it."

Walt: "Yes, but I meant …" Walt pretends to think. "No, you're right. I did ask for it, and I have to accept the consequences. Thanks for teaching me the lesson; you're like a big brother to me."

Boone: "Thanks, that means a lot to me. Glad to help."

Boone walks away to his tent, and Walt grins evilly behind his back.

Walt pretends to go to sleep. When everyone else is asleep, he takes the fuse and matchbook he so cleverly hid within his scanty garment. He lights the match, and then lights the end of the piece of fuse he is holding. Letting go of the match and matchbook, he reaches down through a gap in the net, and holds the fuse at one end. When it is burned half way through, he uses both hands to turn it around, and touches the unburnt end of the shorter length of fuse to the long one buried under the sand. The burnt end is hot to the touch, but Walt only has to hold onto it for a few seconds, as the shorter fuse burns to the end, and ignites the longer fuse.

Walt flings the short fuse into the jungle, and waits with great anticipation as the long fuse burns under the sand. He can't see it burning, but after a couple minutes there is a small flame developing on the raft. It grows in intensity, and no one else notices it until it is a raging inferno. The noise from the crackling wood wakes Jin up first. He rushes over and throws sand on the raft, but it is far too little and too late. Michael is next on the scene, followed shortly by Sun and Sawyer.

Michael jumps to conclusions: "Jin! You burned my raft? Because I've been seeing your wife?"

Jin doesn't understand Michael's words, though it is obvious the latter is very upset.

Sawyer is distressed his shot at freedom is up in smoke. "Did Jin do this, Mike?"

Michael: "No one else would have."

Michael takes a swing at Jin, who punches back. Sawyer joins in the fight, and it is tough for Jin being outnumbered two to one. Sun screams. Everybody is awake by now. Jack and Locke both take it upon themselves to break the fight up.

Jack: "Stop this! We don't know who did this."

Michael: "Oh yeah? Who do you think did it, then? You think there's someone else on this island?"

Locke has been investigating the scene, and finds a piece of the burnt fuse. He sees the direction it leads. "We have no evidence of that, but I believe I know. Walt did it."

Everyone gasps and looks over to the boy a few dozen yards away, barely visible in the moonlight, looking quietly at the scene while well secured in his net.

Boone: "But Walt couldn't have done it. I tied that net real good, and there's no way he could tie that vine to both the top of the net and that tree way over there from inside. He's definitely been in that net since just before sunset."

Locke: "Isn't it convenient that he asked you to do that on the night the raft burned?"

Boone: "Maybe, but I don't see how he could have done it."

Locke: "This wire, it's a fuse, and you can see where it leads."

The group follows Locke to Walt.

Locke: "Walt, that was extremely clever of you, but you have to face the consequences of your actions."

Walt: "What are you talking about? Anyone could have planted that thing. I can't reach that from inside here."

Locke: "Perhaps you didn't have to."

Sawyer is searching the ground with a flashlight from his stash, and spots the matchbook and match on the ground. He reaches for them, but Locke stops him.

Locke: "Don't touch those! The arsonist's fingerprints will be on them."

Sawyer catches on quickly. "Good thinking. It just so happens that I have a fingerprint kit in my stash."

Michael: "Then get it right away. Walt, we need fingerprint samples from you. Don't try running away. We have to find the truth."

Walt breaks down. "Fine, I did it. It was the only way I could think of to not leave this island."

Michael: "Walt, that's very selfish of you. There are lots of people here who want to leave, go back to their families, and that sort of things. They have lives out there in the real world."

Walt: "But my life out there stinks."

Michael: "I'm sure it will get better. You may have bought yourself another week or so out here, but it would be wrong to let you enjoy it. You realize that you have to be punished for this?"

Walt: "Yeah." Walt slumps back, resigned to his fate. _Maybe they'll just leave me in here for a week. That wouldn't be so bad._ Then Walt has a question. "John, why did you rat me out?"

Locke: "Because an innocent man might have beaten to death. That is not the way of the island. Now where did you get that fuse?"

Walt: "I found it in an old boat on my walkabout a couple days ago. It was a pirate ship, and it stuff like shackles and dynamite and a plank in it. I took some of the fuse for it and hid it."

Boone: "Dynamite? We could use that to blow up the hatch entrance."

Locke shushes Boone a little too late, but not everyone heard Boone.

Shannon: "But I didn't see you doing anything on the beach today, Walt. That was extremely clever how you pulled that off. I'm impressed."

Walt: "Thank you. But I set it up last night when everyone else was asleep."

Shannon: "That was still ingenious of you, though it was a bad thing to do."

The adults move away for a discussion.

Sun: "Michael, that was terrible hitting Jin when he didn't do anything. I'm going to take care of his injuries." Sun and Jin go off to what was originally their tent, but which recently Jin alone had been sleeping in.

Michael: "I'm sorry …" but it was not enough. Michael is in a bad frame of mind, and it is hard for him to think straight.

Kate gets nervous: "So Sawyer, you have a fingerprint kit? Isn't that a rather unusual item to have?"

Sawyer laughs. "No Freckleface, I just put one over on little Firestarter. I'm a terrific con man, and can lie convincingly when I need to. Our pyromaniac fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and saved us all a lot of trouble."

Kate: "That's impressive you can lie so well. I could never do that." _Must maintain impression of pure innocence._

Sayid moves over to Locke and Boone. "What did I hear about blowing up a hatch?"

Locke: "Let's talk about it in the morning."

Sawyer is now confronting Michael. "So what are you going to do now?"

Michael: "I'm going to build another raft."

Sawyer: "And what guarantee do we have that there won't be a repeat of this incident?"

Michael: "Incident? Nice choice of words. But I haven't figured that out yet."

Sawyer: "It might be time you introduce your hand to your offspring's backside."

Michael: "Is that what your daddy did to you? That's what my daddy would do to me, and I didn't turn out so good, so I'm going to do something else."

Kate: "Why don't you just leave him in that net?"

Michael: "Are you kidding? He loves living in that net. That would be more of a reward than a punishment."

Ethan: "How about leaving him tied to a tree?"

Michael: "That's already happened. The critics don't like it when the same thing keeps happening. It has to be something different."

Hurley: "Then let's ask the audience."

Michael: "Okay, but every time we ask this audience for an opinion, they haven't delivered."

Hurley: "Come on dude, give them one more chance."

Michael: "All right, they have their chance. If they don't say anything, I guess I'll just have to come up with something, and hope it's not too lame."


	19. Coming Up Short of Home

Author's Notes: Thanks for the great suggestions. I couldn't fit everything into one manageable chapter, and had to split it up. Next update within a week.

* * *

The next morning, it takes Walt an hour to undo the knot Boone tied at the top of the net trap, and then escape. Walt is not enthusiastic as Michael greets him.

Walt: "So what's my punishment?"

Michael: "Don't think of it as a punishment. Think of it as a learning experience. You're going to help build the new raft with me."

Walt sighs. "Aren't you afraid I'll mess it up again?"

Michael: "No, since you'll be on it. I'll be watching closely. But first, you've been elected to make a water run. We'll go together."

Walt gets to collect all the water bottles and he and Michael head for the stream.

Michael: "Now we get a nice chance for a father-son talk. You haven't been around much lately."

Walt: "Yeah, because of all the walkabouts. It's so much fun wandering around alone in the jungle. It makes me feel so good."

Michael: "That's nice, but life isn't all fun and games. Some day you will have to work for a living. When I was your age I had to work all sorts of odd jobs to make ends meet around our household. Cleaning yards, painting fences, raking leaves, shoveling snow, …"

Walt: "There isn't any snow here around the equator."

Michael: "And I never made smart remarks to my parents. If I did …"

Walt flops face down on a large rock. "I know. Can't you just spank me instead of giving me your boring lecture?"

Michael: "No! The parent decides on discipline. Now get up."

Walt: "What happens if I don't?"

Michael: "You said that ship you found had shackles in it? How'd you like to be chained up all day?"

Walt hesitates.

Michael: "Walt, answer me!"

Walt: "I'm thinking!"

Michael: "Just get up and get going. You need to rebuild your reputation with everybody."

Walt groans, and gets up. They get to the stream, fill up all the water bottles, and head back.

* * *

Throughout the morning, Sawyer, Jack, Sayid, and Jin get more opportunities to show off their physical prowess chopping down more trees, frequently in front of an audience.

* * *

Ethan gets a chance to report on the walkie-talkie. "Ben, good news. The raft was burned last night."

Ben: "Congratulations. Of course you are beyond suspicion?"

Ethan: "Me? No, I didn't do it. It was Walt himself. He rigged an ingenious fuse that he lit while he was trapped in that net he sleeps in all the time. He carried the fuse and a matchbook for a while on him despite his getup. He was far from the raft when it burned, but Locke figured it out. He wanted to stop a fight between Jin and Michael and Sawyer."

Ben: "That's fascinating. The boy is cleverer than I realized. It will take an elaborate scheme to kidnap him. Good thing we have more time now."

Ethan: "Probably another week. Though I did kidnap Claire; I think I could kidnap Walt as well."

Ben: "We'll have to see about that. Don't do anything suspicious in the meantime."

* * *

Michael and Walt return to the bamboo grove. Walt wordlessly passes out a water bottle to all present.

Michael: "Thank you gentlemen, but we have another volunteer for this part of the construction process."

Sawyer scoffs: "Lil' Gunga Din here? Be careful he doesn't burn down the whole grove."

Michael: "There're plenty of us to keep an eye on him."

Jack: "Did you refer to Sawyer as a gentleman?"

Michael: "I wasn't thinking, but he has been more helpful lately. Besides, I needed more stuff from his stash for the second raft."

Kate: "If he were more of a gentleman, he'd give me his spot on the raft."

Sawyer: "Forget it, Dollface, the crew is set. It's Shaka, Shaka Junior, Chewy, and Yours Truly. That hasn't changed, right Han?"

Michael: "That's right. Nothing's been changed, only delayed."

Jin tries to figure out who "Chewy" is when Sawyer gestures in his direction while saying the nickname.

Michael gets the axe from Sayid and gives Walt a lesson in chopping down trees. After Michael chops down a couple, he hands the axe to Walt.

Walt: "Do I really have to do this in front of everybody? It looks hard."

Michael: "Hey, girls love to see this kind of thing."

Kate, Shannon, Sun, and Claire nod.

Michael: "And don't you want to be a teenage heartthrob some day? This will be good practice."

Walt: "That would come after my growth spurt."

Michael: "This will make your growth spurt more effective. Now come on."

Walt chops down a few trees, a lot more slowly than the grown men, but that doesn't cause anyone concern. He and Michael carry the logs back on their shoulders, while Michael relates more boring stories of how he had to work like a dog during his childhood. After a while, Walt takes a breather on the beach, and Sawyer takes the axe back from Michael.

Sawyer: "How do you know Little Pyro isn't going to sabotage the raft at night?"

Michael: "I have a plan for that." Michael tells Sawyer the plan.

Later that afternoon, Michael sets the plan in motion by giving Walt another task.

Michael: "Walt, we need a hole to support a log to anchor the raft so it doesn't sway while we're building it. The hole needs to be about four feet deep."

Walt: "You'll never learn the metric system, will you?"

Michael: "If you can't figure out what four feet means, just dig it until you can just barely see over the edge." Michael tosses Walt the shovel. "This is a good spot. It has to be above the high tide line."

Walt is too tired to argue, and digs the hole. _Are they going to bury me in this?_ Somewhat to his surprise, he is able to finish without incident, and climbs out, and goes back to where Michael is putting Walt's dinner together.

Walt: "Got anything more for me to do?"

Michael: "I think that's enough for today. We can check if your hole's deep enough after dinner."

Walt: "I promise it's deep enough."

Michael: "Your word doesn't have the highest value at the moment. You have to earn it back."

Walt: "Whatever." He and Michael eat another dinner of fish and fruit. When they're done, Sawyer comes by.

Sawyer: "Hey Problem Child Daddy, we got the support log ready. You got the hole for it ready?"

Michael: "We were just about to check it out. Let's go."

Sayid is nearby, and follows the group, wanting to know what's up. As they approach the hole, Sawyer comments.

Sawyer: "That doesn't look deep enough to me."

Walt, annoyed. "Sure it is. Look." Walt slides down into the hole, and stands erect at the bottom. "See, I can't see over the edge …"

Michael and Sawyer quickly shove the piles of sand that Walt built up along either side of the hole into it. The initial action buries Walt to his chest with his arms pinned at his side, and then they continue until all the sand that has been dug up is piled in, leaving Walt buried up to his nose.

Sayid: "You buried him standing straight up? At that depth the pressure will cause the sand to pack around his lower body like cement."

Michael: "You don't think I know that? I may not have all your fancy education, but we do use sand at times in construction."

Sayid is afraid Michael's temper may take off: "Take it easy, it was just an observation. I didn't mean to imply that you didn't know what you were doing."

Michael takes a deep breath. "It's all right. Looks like we did overdo it a little." Michael walks around Walt, pushing the sand down so that it now only comes up to Walt's lower lip.

Sayid: "Then you're cool with my observing that more force on the surface will make the sand around his upper body pack like cement as well."

Michael's mood has improved. "Yeah, I'm cool with that." Michael sets the next part of his plan into motion. "Hey Hurley, come over here."

Hurley comes over, stepping on the sand very near Walt.

Walt: "Unnnngh."

The level of the sand now comes down to his chin, but he can't move anything besides his head. Still his body tingles due to the contact with the island's sand.

Hurley: "Hey Mike, what's up?"

Michael: "I wanted to ask your opinion on whether this spot is a good place for the support log to anchor the raft."

Hurley: "Oh, I don't know, dude, I think it makes more sense to have it closer to the tree line where the guys are bringing the logs, and where we built the first raft. That way we don't have to carry the logs and stuff so far."

Michael: "You know, you're right. Thanks Walt, but we decided to use another location. Good night."

Michael, Sawyer, Hurley, and Sayid go back to their tents at the beach camp, leaving Walt looking into the setting sun over the ocean.

Walt thinks about shouting, "Hey, are you going to leave me here all night?", but realizes that would be an excessively stupid question, and he doesn't want to look stupid. _I was set up all along. Not sure I could have done anything about it. But this isn't so bad. It actually feels neat. Beats being tied to a tree._ With his chin resting on the sand, he falls asleep easily.

* * *

Walt wakes up the next morning, and tries to move. He can wiggle his toes and fingers a little. It takes quite a bit of effort to shrug his shoulders, and then his arms settle back down pinned to his sides. He can twist his head, but can't twist his body at all. _Wow, did they ever get me good._

Michael walks up. "So Walt, are you going to get up and get back to work?"

Walt: "I'm not sure I'm recovered yet. I think I may stay here a while."

Michael: "Okay, but then it looks like I have to feed you."

Walt realizes he doesn't have much choice, and lets Michael feed him pieces of fruit. Then Michael sticks a water bottle in Walt's mouth. Walt tilts his head backward to drink it, and Michael firms up the sand around his son's neck, but not so tight as to cut off circulation. When Walt finishes drinking, he can't lower his chin as far as it had been, leaving him looking upwards.

Michael: "Whenever you're ready, get up out of there and come over and help with the raft."

Walt: "Sure thing, Dad."

Michael goes back to assembling the second raft. Walt struggles a little, and gets nowhere. He has mixed emotions. It feels good to be embraced by the island in this manner, but it is annoying that he cannot extricate himself if he wants to.

A short time later, Locke and Boone approach Walt.

Locke: "Morning, Walt."

Walt: "Hi John, Hi Boone, what's up?"

Boone: "Morning, Walt. Looks like it's not you that's up; I'd say you're about four feet down."

Walt laughs a little. "Heh heh. Don't let Hurley hear that number."

Locke: "So how are you, Walt?"

Walt: "I'm good actually. This is part of my destiny, like getting tied to that tree. I feel like the island is recharging me now. That was quite a workout yesterday."

Locke: "That's good to hear. Now we need to know, where was that ship you found the dynamite in?"

Walt: "The Purple Pebble? It's about eight kilometers north-northeast of here. You go to the caves, and veer right a little."

Locke: "Thank you. You've been a big help."

Walt's eyes glaze over for a second. "I think the island doesn't want you to blow it up?"

Locke: "Blow what up?"

Walt: "You know … it."

Locke walks around the head in the sand. "I don't know what you're talking about. Tell me."

Walt: "Walking around like that packs the sand around me tighter. Now I can't move my arms as much as before."

Locke: "Is that so?" Locke walks around Walt again.

Walt: "Okay, I never saw it for real, but I think I saw it in my vision when I was tied to that tree. Some kind of building or structure that I think the island is telling me that it doesn't want to be harmed. Shannon was tied down in there."

Boone: "That's strange, Shannon was tied down in my vision, and …"

Locke interrupts Boone. "That's enough, Boone. I will do what the island tells me to. Come on, Boone."

Locke walks back to his tent to get supplies. Boone remains behind for a second.

Boone: "Yesterday you said I was like a big brother to you, so I want to continue that role."

Walt: "You mean you're going to help me out?"

It is Boone's turn to laugh. "Don't you know what big brothers do to little brothers stuck in the sand on the beach?"

Walt: "I can only think of two things. Either help me get out, or make it even harder and more of a challenge."

Boone: "You are bright. But I'll throw in a bonus. I'll flatten the sand around here, and make a very neat picture." Boone does so, leaving Walt's head in a flat area of sand up to his chin and the bottom of his ears. Boone then leaves to follow Locke.

Locke and Boone make the long hike to the Purple Pebble. Walt wasn't trying to avoid leaving tracks on that particular walkabout, so Locke picks up the trail without much difficulty. They find the ship, and the hole in the hull, and the boxes labeled "dynamite."

Boone: "Could it be dangerous to handle dynamite?"

Locke: "Boone, apart from Walt, no one has been in this ship for decades. You can tell since this box has so much dust on it. If the dynamite wasn't sealed properly, it would have disintegrated within several months in this heat."

Boone: "Okay. How much do we need?"

Locke: "A handful each should do it. Let's each take four sticks."

Boone and Locke take four sticks each and some fuse wire.

Boone: "Is this what dynamite is supposed to feel like? I've never handled it before."

Locke: "Me neither, but I guess so. I would have thought it was heavier."

They get to the hatch. Locke attaches a fuse to one stick of dynamite. "We'll test this first. Maybe one is enough." Locke places the stick on the top the hatch, and backs off. He lights the fuse with a match. "Hide behind this tree."

The fuse burns down, and there is a medium-loud

POP!

Boone: "Pop? I was expecting a louder noise."

Boone and Locke go back to the hatch, and find a metal rod protruding from the end of the stick of dynamite. A stiff paper banner has unfurled form the rod, on which is printed the single word

"BANG!"

Boone: "Bang? Like in a cartoon?"

Locke is not pleased. He takes another stick of the alleged dynamite, attaches a shorter fuse to it, lights another match, and watches from twenty yards away. This time they see the stick go "pop" and the rod pop out with the "BANG!" sign.

Locke: "What does this mean?"

Boone: "Uh … maybe Walt was right in saying that the island didn't want us blowing this thing up?"

Locke and Boone leave the other fake sticks of dynamite behind as they go back to camp.

Locke: "I have one more idea to try tomorrow."

* * *

Jack sees Walt's head in the sand, and has to be sure Walt is okay.

Jack: "All you all right down there?"

Walt: "Why wouldn't I be?"

Jack: "You look stuck, and it could be uncomfortable."

Walt: "It actually feels neat, and if I get out, I'll just have to go back to working on the raft."

Jack: "But at least that would give you some exercise."

Walt: "I can tense my muscles in here. I'll be fine."

Jack: "Okay. If you change your mind, just yell."

Jack walks away. _That Michael is sure treating his kid oddly. I'm glad my father never did anything like that … but wait, who am I kidding? My father was a lot worse. No great loss in having him out of my mind._

* * *

Sun rushes up to Jin, who is fishing with a net. They speak in Korean.

Sun: "Jin, I have to teach you English now."

Jin: "Why now?"

Sun: "Because we've used up the budget for subtitles."

Jin: "That's great news. I imagine it was getting tiresome writing "in Korean" all the time as well."

Sun: "That too."

Jin: "Now that we're talking, I want to say that I love you and promise to treat you better."

Sun is delighted to hear that. "Well, you get a chance. Now I understand you've been learning English from Hurley and Charlie?"

Jin: "Yes, my precious dudette."

Sun winces. "We may have to, um, modify some of the things you learned."

* * *

Hurley comes by with the backgammon set. "Hey Walt, I feel a little guilty playing a part in getting you trapped in there, so I thought I could make it up a little for it by playing backgammon."

Walt: "It's okay. This was my destiny, and it feels kind of good in here. But as for backgammon, I won't be able to roll the dice or move the pieces." Walt squirms a little, which is mainly shaking his head.

Hurley: "That's okay, I roll your dice, and you tell me where to move your pieces. I want to test something."

Walt: "Okay, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

Hurley sets up the pieces and proceeds as he indicated. They play eight games, each winning four.

Walt: "Aren't you going to freak out about the numbers?"

Hurley: "No, because we'll play some more games."

Walt: "What if I refuse?"

Hurley: "I could go for a nice walk on the beach, say … right around you. You did make me even more late for my mother's birthday party."

Walt: "Oh, let's just keep going."

They play two more games, Hurley winning the first and Walt the second.

Hurley: "Ha! That's ten games, and five wins each, dude. None of the numbers."

Walt: "Congratulations."

Hurley: "Also, you don't have that tremendous luck when you don't handle the dice."

Walt: "What does that prove?"

Hurley: "I don't know. I needed a scene where I could do something about those cursed numbers. Also, it seemed like that story about your luck was leading somewhere."

Shannon and Kate come by on a walk.

Shannon: "What are you guys doing?"

Hurley: "We were playing backgammon. I had to move the little dude's pieces for him."

Shannon: "Aw, that's so cute." Shannon scratches Walt's head. Walt shakes his head, unable to get away.

Kate: "What's the matter? Don't like your head scratched?" Kate bends down and pinches Walt's cheeks.

Walt scowls, as everybody else walks off. Michael eventually comes by to feed him dinner.

Michael: "So Walt, how was your day?"

Walt: "Pretty good. How was yours?"

Michael: "Not bad at all. My popularity went up among our fellow passengers. They think my parenting skills are getting better, and that I did the right thing in giving you a day off."

Walt: "This was kind of an unusual way to spend a day off. Does that mean I have to go back to work tomorrow?"

Michael: "I figure one more day out of you will be enough. Good night now, and sleep tight." Michael gives the sand around Walt a final pat, making a neat display, and goes back to his tent.

Walt: "Did you have to end with a lame joke?" Walt falls asleep in as tight a condition as possible for the second night in a row.


	20. Deus est Loco

The next morning back in Othersville, an important meeting is taking place.

Ben: "Juliet, did you find out more that enzyme in Claire's blood?"

Juliet: "The results are in. During the first few months of her pregnancy, the embryonic fluid built up enough of a defense to the natural radiation of this island that the baby will be protected. Women who get pregnant on the island are exposed to the radiation from the outset, and that's not good."

Ben: "So what do you recommend?"

Juliet: "We have to let the baby arrive naturally. It will need the mother's milk to survive. After a few weeks we should collect more samples of both mother and child. We may be able to produce an antitoxin from that. In the meantime, as long as that radiation exists, no one should get pregnant on this island."

Ben: "Hmm. Tell Alex that the next time you see her; she may not believe it from me. While we await the arrival of the boy, I'd like you to write a chronology of the important events that happened to the survivors, starting with the day of the crash. It's a good time to write a recap."

Juliet: "You mean from the pieces of information Ethan gave me? I can do that."

* * *

That morning, Michael gets the shovel and goes over to Walt, still buried in the sand up to his chin.

Michael: "Good morning. Sleep well?"

Walt: "Yes, Dad. I slept tight as you ordered."

Michael digs around Walt enough so he can get his arms free, and then lays down the shovel within Walt's reach.

Michael: "Now dig yourself out the rest of the way so you can fulfill your obligation of one more day of work on the raft."

Walt: "What if I don't? I might rather stay in here; it's kind of comfortable."

Michael: "Suit yourself."

Walt leans forward and rests his chin on his arms. Meanwhile, Michael goes over to Charlie.

Michael: "Hey Charlie, you've been ignored lately. What's up?"

Charlie: "Oh, I guess I've been bummed since I just can't seem to get Claire interested in me. There's something not right with that Ethan, but I just can't place it."

Michael: "Ethan? We may disagree on the necessity of building the raft, but he seems like the perfect gentleman to me."

Charlie: "Maybe that's it. He's too perfect."

Michael: "Well, I was thinking, Walt and I haven't heard your great music for a long time. Why don't you play something on your guitar for us?"

Charlie: "I think I only remember the one song."

Michael: "That's perfect. Come over here."

Charlie and Michael go to a spot about ten feet behind Walt's head. Charlie plays and sings "You All Everybody" repeatedly.

After one playing, Michael tells Charlie, "That was great. Keep it up for an hour no matter what Walt says."

Charlie is encouraged that someone thinks highly of his playing: "Thanks, man, I will." Charlie continues playing.

Walt realizes what is going on. He takes the shovel, and tries to dig himself out. It is very awkward.

Walt: "Charlie, you sound great, but I think that's enough. I'm digging myself out now."

Charlie: "But I got a request. It would be rude and unprofessional not to honor it."

Walt: "Can I request you play another song?"

Charlie: "I don't remember any others just now."

Walt toils away, and it takes him an hour to get free. After a pit stop, he goes to Michael. "Okay, you win, what do you want me to do?"

Michael: "You were down there for too long. You need to get your muscles working again. You can either carry logs and vines back from where the guys are chopping down the trees, or you can stay here with me and put things together here."

Walt: "And listen to more of your stories? I'll bring the stuff here."

Walt embarks on his new task. He picks up the bamboo lengths as Sawyer, Sayid, Jack, or Jin cut them down and carries them back one at a time. He doesn't want to admit it, but it does feel good to have his muscles working again.

Michael is a bit annoyed that Walt doesn't want to listen to him any more. _We'll have to see about that._

* * *

Locke and Boone are by the caves, where Locke has built a tiny hut, just large enough for him to sit in.

Boone: "So what is this idea you have?"

Locke: "It's called a sweat lodge. I make it very hot in this, and apply some of this drug, and I believe I will see what needs to be done. Just watch in case something goes wrong."

Since it will get very hot in the small structure, Locke removes his shirt and hangs it outside. He cuts his arm with a knife, rubs the drug paste into the wound, and light a fire. It gets very hot, and he sees … a plane at the top of a cliff. Then he sees a bloody version of Boone. And then the next thing he realizes is Boone throwing water on his face, waking him up.

Locke: "What happened?"

Boone: "What happened? Your lodge caught on fire, and I had to drag you out. What went on in there?"

Locke: "I saw what we need to find: a small aircraft at the top of a cliff. We should start looking for it immediately. Oh, where is my shirt?"

Boone: "It burned up with your sweat lodge. I chose to save you instead of it."

Locke: "I appreciate your decision. Looks like we'll have to kill another boar to make a vest for me."

Boone: "That's probably a good idea. It will also look like we really are hunting boar. In fact, that should be a top priority."

Locke: _I can't look that bad._ "Fine."

Locke and Boone check out some traps Locke has made, and there is a boar in one of them. Locke kills it with a knife, and prepares its meat for eating and as much of its skin for a vest. He cuts arms holes out of a roughly rectangular piece. There are no buttons, so the vest is open in the front, but not by much. _I don't think anyone will be offended by this._

That evening, everyone is treated to boar meat for a nice change of pace. They are so grateful that no one pays attention to Locke's new attire.

* * *

That evening, Walt is ready to go to bed.

Michael: "You know what you have to do?"

Walt: "Yes." Walt jumps into the sand hole with his hands at his sides, and looks forlornly up to Michael.

Michael: "Walt, I've decided that it's silly to keep burying up to your neck, and having to feed you. Hold your arms straight up."

Walt does so, and Michael shovels sand back in the hole around Walt until he is buried up to his chin. Michael then tromps the sand down hard, wedging Walt in tightly but leaving him buried only up to his armpits.

Michael: "How is that?"

Walt puts his arms on the surface right in front of his face, and rests his chin on his hands. "That's all right. It'll be more comfortable to sleep like this."

Michael: "Great. Good night then." Michael drops the shovel a foot out of Walt's reach.

Walt: "Good night."

* * *

Back in Othersville, Ben looks at the chronology of important island events Juliet has constructed. He reads "Day 1 – Jack loses shirt. Day 3 – Sayid loses shirt. Day 4 – Sawyer loses shirt. Day 5 – Boone loses shirt. Day 6 – Michael loses shirt. Day 8 – Jin loses shirt. Day 11 – Charlie loses shirt."

Ben: "Juliet! Get in here."

Juliet: "What's wrong?"

Ben: "Your history is the product of a one-track mind. I meant for you to include things like when Claire was kidnapped, the progress of the rafts, that sort of thing. And furthermore, we are an equal-opportunity organization. If you're going to include wardrobe mishaps of the men, you have to include the women and children as well."

Juliet: "Fine." She writes down a new entry: "Day 34 – Ben gets cranky."

* * *

That next morning Michael brings Walt fruit and water. They eat breakfast, with Walt feeding himself as if there were nothing odd about eating stuck up to his armpits in the sand. When they finish, Michael tries an experiment, and sits down in front of his son.

Michael: "Walt, you avoided listening to me yesterday, so how'd you like to hear about the intricacies of the construction business now?"

Walt: "No thank you."

Michael: "But it's important for a son to know what his father does for a living. Let's start with the construction of a typical building. It is important to begin with a solid foundation."

Walt does not want to be a captive audience. "Dad, I can't reach the shovel."

Michael: "I know." Michael continues describing his job, and Walt does not want to listen to the talk. He places his palms on the surface and pushes up, but budges no more than a millimeter. He feverishly claws sand away from his body. The first few centimeters are cleared away without too much trouble, and he is encouraged.

Michael: "To do the job right, you have to use the right tools."

Walt tries to rock and twist to increase the room around him, with precious little success as he is still in too deep. He decides to dig his way out with his hands. However, the farther down he gets, the more difficult it is to move the sand. A half hour into Michael's discourse, Walt manages to clear away the sand down to the bottom of his chest. After that the sand has virtually fused solid and is smooth like cement, and he cannot break it apart with his fingers.

Michael: "… and the importance of high-quality materials cannot be underestimated …"

Walt does not want to admit defeat since he has the use of his hands, unlike when Locke had tied him to the tree. Walt pushes up against the surface with his hands again and strains with all his might, but the problem is that his feet are locked into place, and the sand around his waist is packed too solid for him to get his hips up and through. He claws at the sand some more, but can't dig his fingers into it to clear any more of it away. He rocks and twists his body some more, but his head does most of the moving.

Michael: "… and safety is of paramount importance …"

Walt desperately continues to squire and wriggle and writhe, but cannot make more than a few millimeters more room for himself. Michael has been rambling for an hour when Walt admits defeat and puts his hands over his ears. "Can you please stop? I'd rather listen to 'You All Everybody' or work on the raft all day."

Michael laughs, and stops. "That couldn't have been that bad. Our friends asked me to make sure you can't get out by yourself from that position, since they're afraid you'll sabotage the second raft. Do you understand?"

Walt waits a minute for his heaving chest to settle down. When his breathing is normal, he replies, "Yes, I understand. But did you have to do it that way?"

Michael: "I was serious about wanting you to know what I do. But also, I want you to grow up to be tough. I think John toughened you up some when he tied you to that tree, and I'm following his lead. Life will throw things a lot rougher than this at you, and I don't want to raise a wimp. So, are you tough now?"

Walt can't stand the thought of being perceived a wimp. "Of course I'm tough!"

He puffs out his chest and beats it with his fists, and then flexes his biceps. The image strikes Michael as hilarious, but he reaches forward to feel Walt's muscles.

Michael: "Hey, I think you're growth spurt is starting. There's definitely more meat on those bones than when we first got here. Of course, you've got a way to go."

Michael flexes his muscles near enough so Walt can feel them. Walt laughs, and is in a much better mood.

Walt: "With workouts like I just had I'll get there before you know it."

Michael: "I'm sure you will. So, what do you want to do now? Of course if I let you out of there, I have to keep an eye on you at all times. Wanna help the old man with the raft?"

Walt: "I think I'd better stay here a few hours and rest up. I really tired myself out just now, and if I work on the raft, I should be in good shape so I don't mess up."

Michael: "That's fine, see you later. When you're ready I'll give you the shovel." Michael gets up to leave, but as he does so, Walt has one more thing to say.

Walt: "Dad, I love you. I know you're doing the best for me. I didn't realize it at first, but now I know you're doing a great job."

Michael is touched at the words of his son. "I love you too, Walt. Hey, I got an idea that may help you from getting too bored." Michael goes back to the tent, and sees Walt's worldly possessions: the rubber ball made from his shoes, the handcuffs he found, and the comic book bought from Sawyer with Walt's caddy earnings. The deodorant stick Walt also got from Sawyer was used up several days ago. Michael takes the comic book and ball back to Walt.

Michael: "Here's something to read, and in case Vincent comes by, you can play fetch like that."

Walt: "Thanks, Dad." Walt gives Michael a high-five, though it is a rather low five from Michael's perspective.

* * *

The next several days are similar. Locke and Boone search for the mysterious plane. Claire gets more and more pregnant. Jin gets better and better at English, and Sun grows more attracted to him. Construction on the raft continues. Walt spends some time working on the raft under close supervision, but when he isn't he is required to stand at least chest-deep in hard-packed sand. On some days he reads his comic book, but gets bored by it once he memorizes it and gives it to Hurley. On a few days he plays backgammon in that positions, faring better when he rolls his dice. On other days Vincent is around and they play fetch.

On day thirty-eight it pours all day. Locke and Boone continue to search for the smaller plane, while those at the beach decide work on the raft will be halted for the day. Some of them gather in one of the tents.

Kate: "Michael, are you going to leave Walt stuck out there in the rain all day?"

Michael: "Why not?"

No one comes up with a reason why not.

Michael: "Walt wants to be considered tough. It would be insulting to insinuate otherwise to him."

Shannon: "It's like he's planted out there – maybe the rain will make him grow faster."

Sawyer: "Wonderful, we'll have a giant beanstalk. Now any bright ideas on what we can do to pass the time?"

Kate: "Since the kid isn't here, we could play 'I Never' – don't you have some of those little bottles of alcoholic beverages from the airline in your stash? They don't seem to be anywhere else."

Sawyer: "Aren't you the sharp one, Ms. Sherlock. That could be arranged."

Hurley: "How do you play?"

Kate: "You take turns saying things you may or may never have done, and if you have, you take a drink."

Hurley: "What kind of questions?"

Shannon: "Where did you grow up? Things like, 'I never cheated on a test'."

Kate: "Or, 'I never fired a gun'." _A chance to appear more innocent._

Jack: "I never killed anyone."

Sawyer: "I never had sex with someone I wasn't married to."

Michael and Shannon inadvertently cough.

Hurley: "I don't think I want to play this game. I'll go get something to read instead."

Hurley goes to his tent to read the comic book. The "I Never" games goes on behind closed tent doors lest something too inappropriate occurs.

* * *

Juliet has made the chronology of the Oceanic passengers more complete.

Juliet: "Here, this can serve as the basis of a recap episode."

Ben takes a look. "Day 1 – Jack loses shirt. Day 2: Shannon loses all clothes expect pink bikini. Day 3 – Sayid loses shirt, polar bear encountered. Day 4 – Sawyer loses shirt and gets tortured. Day 5 – Boone loses shirt while heroically rescuing forgotten character. Day 6 – Michael loses shirt, golf course started. Day 7: Sun loses all clothes except skirt, it gets transformed into bikini top and miniskirt by Michael after those two are caught in a net for hours. Day 7-9 – Jin leaves, loses shirt in unknown circumstances. Day 8: Locke ties Boone to tree, then the two of them hang together constantly. Hurley raises fuss with flight manifest, but crisis averted. Day 10: Walt loses all clothes, gets boarskin loincloth and tied to tree by Locke. Attitude improves thereafter. Day 10-11 – Charlie is trapped in cave-in and rescued, and loses shirt. Day 10-12 – Claire is kidnapped, questioned, blood samples taken, then escapes with aid of unknown accomplice. Day 11 – Kate loses all clothes except underwear. Day 12 – Kate gets two-piece boarskin outfit from Locke. Day 13 – Hurley freaks out over numbers. Day 23 – construction of first raft begins. Day 32 – Walt burns first raft. Day 33 – Locke loses shirt, makes boarksin vest. Construction of second raft begins."

Ben: "That's much better. We should do these recaps every so often; they help keep everything straight in my mind. And the audience's but of course I'm more important."

* * *

There are three more routine days, and then day forty-two arrives. Michael sees Walt more agitated that normal, as the boy is furiously trying to escape the sandy cocoon in which he slept. Concerned, Michael visits Jack.

Michael: "Jack, I'd like you to take a look at Walt."

Jack: "I can do that. I'm here to help everyone I can."

Jack goes over to Walt. "What seems to be the matter?"

Walt: "I just got the feeling something big will happen today. And I don't need to see a doctor. I was just exercising."

Michael: "That's not your decision. I was thinking that maybe I've left you stuck in the sand for too many days."

Jack: "I suppose it's possible. This examination could take a while."

Michael: "I have to get back to working on the raft. Can you take Walt away from everyone else so he doesn't interfere?"

Jack: "To get away, we could go to the golf course."

Michael: "Good idea, but Walt isn't supposed to have fun yet. He can be your caddy. And he should do some work, like dig out some more holes for the course. Hurley doesn't like it at eight holes long."

Jack: "Sounds good."

Michael gives Walt the shovel, and tells him the plan. It takes Walt half an hour to get out, and then he and Jack go to the golf course. Jack tees off, and they talk as Jack plays the first four holes.

Jack: "So how are you holding up, Walt?"

Walt: "Okay. I feel stupid when I can never get out of the sand, but I guess I deserve it."

Jack: "Well, you did prevent me from getting back to my hospital sooner where I can save more people. But maybe I was meant to save someone here."

Walt: "You don't have to save me. I really feel healthy. The island sand is good for me."

Jack: "You certainly do look in great shape, I have to admit."

Walt: "And that's part of why I want to stay here."

Jack: "You know that can't happen. Maybe when you're grown up you can come back here if you still want to."

Walt's face brightens a little, but that will still be a long way away.

Walt: "I can't wait to grow up."

Jack: "Believe me, you want to relish your youth as much as possible. But it is obvious you are growing. Your muscles are definitely more well defined than when I saw you weeks ago. It's also taking you much less effort to carry that bag of clubs."

Walt: "Really? That's neat. See how good the island is to me?"

Jack: "You have to stop thinking about that. You should be thinking about what you want to be when you grow up. Now you're obviously bright, and hard-working. I think you should look into becoming a doctor."

Walt: "A doctor? I don't know about that. That's a lot of responsibility, and I kind of messed things up a lot."

Jack: "Everybody does something stupid when they're young. Don't worry about that, and think about what I said."

They keep talking and reach the fifth hole. They go forward, and Walt digs out a new hole with the shovel he was forced to carry, and another hole on the way back. Then it starts raining.

Jack: "Oh, oh, we have to get to shelter."

Walt: "What for?"

Jack: "What do you mean what for? You'll get wet, and your clothes …"

Walt rolls his eyes. "My clothes? And so what if we get wet, we'll only dry off when it stops raining."

Jack: "But you could catch cold."

Walt: "No way. We're near the equator. It's incredible how many writers don't realize that the weather is always hot here. That includes the rain; it's always warm, and so is the ocean water."

Jack: "I guess wanting to come in out of the rain has been drilled into me since I was little."

Walt: "Well, that doesn't apply here. You know what I like to do when it rains?" Walt takes a few steps to a sandy spot, lays down the golf clubs and shovel, and lies on this stomach. "This is like a massage. The warm water feels great on my back."

Jack: "But if I do that, I'll get sand in my pants."

Walt: "So what? You can always wash them. You're too uptight; you need to loosen up."

Jack: "Oh, okay."

Walt: "What I really like is when it pours very heavy."

There is a sudden cloudburst, drenching Walt and Jack.

Walt: "Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh, this is great. And if you get thirsty you can turn over."

Jack: "I see your point."

* * *

Back on the beach, Claire realizes something important.

Claire: "My water broke! I'm going into labor. Where's Jack?"

Michael: "My bad, Jack is on the golf course with Walt."

Claire slaps Michael's face. She screams, "Who can help me?"

Michael: "Sun should be able to. I'll go get her."

Charlie: "I'm here for you, Claire."

Ethan: "I can assist. I'm a paramedic."

Claire: "You told me you were a children's author. AAAHHHHH!"

Ethan: "You remember what I said that far back?" _Uh oh, my story may be cracking._

Fortunately for Ethan, Claire is too distressed to look into that matter further as the rain starts.

Sun comes with Michael and Jin in tow.

Sun: "I never did this before. What do they do on TV? Boil some water, get clean towels, make her comfortable."

Charlie: "Hey, I got an idea. We're near the end of the season, right?"

Shannon: "I think so."

Charlie: "Then we can use our secret weapon: Rose!"

Shannon: "Rose isn't a weapon, but that is a good idea."

Charlie runs over to Rose, who is sitting on the sand staring out over the ocean as usual.

Charlie: "Rose! We need you!"

Rose: "Why? Is Bernard here?"

Charlie: "No, Claire is having her baby, Jack isn't here, and we think you can help."

Rose blinks: "Yes, I worked as a nurse a long time ago. Let's do this."

Rose springs into action, and races to Claire's tent with Charlie as the rain intensifies. Rose barks orders, and Sun does the most to comply.

Claire: "AAAHHHH! How long will this last?"

Rose: "Probably several hours."

Claire: "Can't I have a five-minute labor like they have on the telly all the time?"

Rose: "I'm afraid television frequently does not portray real life accurately."

Claire wails.

* * *

Locke and Boone finally reach the airplane Locke saw in his vision. It is a Beechcraft, with a picture of a beagle in a brown cap and red scarf sitting on a doghouse painted on it, perched on the top of a cliff, which can be climbed thanks to lots of vines hanging down.

Locke: "One of us has to go up there and see what's inside."

Boone: "Like a working radio?"

Locke: "Maybe. I'll … _The island demands a sacrifice._ … I'm finding it hard to move."

Boone: "I'm young and athletic. I can climb up there."

Locke: "Would you? Thanks. And be careful." _The sacrifice must be at the right time._

Boone climbs up the vines. "Hey, I can get in easy. The door's broken off."

Locke: "Then go in and see what is there."

Boone steps inside. He takes a couple steps toward the front, and the plane creaks. He backs outside. "I don't know if this is safe."

Locke: "That plane has been there for years. If it was going to fall, it would have fallen a long time ago." _The island is ready for the sacrifice now._

Boone: "Okay." Boone goes back in. The plane creaks some more, and then stops. "I think I see a radio in the cockpit." He advances, the plane teeters some more, and he backs off. Then he moves forward carefully, picks up a microphone, and turns it on. "Hello, can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!"

Voice on radio: "What? We're the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815."

The plane creaks more, and starts to tip over. Locke has a sudden burst of conscious.

Locke: _NO, I CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN!_ "BOONE, GET OUT OF THERE NOW!"


	21. The Otherworldly 42 Days

Ben calls an emergency meeting in Othersville.

Ben: "The ratings have been going down. We have a small group of very loyal fans, but we've lost a few and we're having a terrible time bringing in new ones."

Tom: "What do you have in mind?"

Ben: "We're going to fall back on that contingency plan I mentioned a long time ago. We're going to have a flashback involving the tail-end survivors based on what Goodwin found out."

Bea: "But we ended the last episode on a cliffhanger. Won't that antagonize the loyal fans we do have?"

Ben: "Possibly, but it's a chance we have to take. If it works, we can have a meaningful second season. If it doesn't, we'll just wrap everything up in one more episode. Either way, the cliffhanger will be resolved next week."

Juliet: "But I was slated to have a much bigger role in the next season."

Bea: "What about me? And all those preparations for the next kidnapping?"

Juliet: "And I was supposed to meet more passengers."

Tom: "I was also supposed to get more involved in the action."

Ben: "The decision has been made. Time to cue the ominous music."

* * *

FLASHBACK

Day 1: The tail portion of Oceanic Flight 815 breaks off from the main fuselage, and crashes into the Pacific Ocean. The survivors who scramble out of the sinking plane and make it to shore are Ana-Lucia, Eko, Libby, Cindy, Nathan, Emma, and Zach.

After safely carrying the siblings ten-year-old Emma and eight-year-old Zach to the beach on the northwest side of the island, Ana-Lucia removes her outer shirt, revealing a tight black tank top that shrank due to the salt water, and Eko removes his shirt so that it can dry. Once the articles of clothing are hanging on branches, Ana-Lucia is immediately attracted to the Nigerian with the barrel chest.

Ana-Lucia: "Good work there, Mister …"

Eko: "Eko. That was a fine job yourself. And you are …"

Ana-Lucia: "Ana-Lucia. Pleased to meet you. That was amazing that we all got out."

Eko: "It was the will of God."

Ana-Lucia notices the tone in Eko's voice. "Are you in the ministry?"

Eko: "I was … something of the sort. I may make a comeback. And you?"

Ana-Lucia: "I'm a cop … or was … I'm in the process of making a comeback also."

Their conversation is interrupted by a voice from above.

Bernard: "Help!"

Ana-Lucia and Eko look up and see an older man strapped in an airplane seat wedged high in a tree.

Eko: "How are we going to get him down from there?"

Ana-Lucia: "No problem. I have experience in talking down people from high places. This is a very delicate process." Ana-Lucia goes to the base of the tree and bellows in a thundering voice. "Unbuckle that seatbelt, grab the closest branch, and climb down you sniveling whiny wuss before you make me angry and climb up there and throw you down!"

Bernard is terrified of Ana-Lucia and does not want to face here. He undoes his seatbelt, reaches back to grab a branch, and climbs over the airplane seat and down the tree. Eko stands under Bernard, but is not needed.

Bernard: "I can't believe you talked to me like that!"

Ana-Lucia: "It worked, didn't it? That's all the matters."

Bernard: "That's not all … has anyone seen Rose? A middle-aged African-American woman, she was sitting in the middle of the plane when I went back to the restroom."

Everyone else shakes their heads.

Eko: "We shall pray for her together."

Ana-Lucia: "You can do that later. We have to salvage what we can from the plane."

Ana-Lucia and Eko wade back to the plane, but there is little to be salvaged from the tail section. Ana-Lucia does find a shovel, and Eko finds several plastic water bottles.

* * *

An hour after the crash, Goodwin comes running to the beach after hiding a walkie-talkie in a tree not too far away, and is seen first by Nathan, who is wearing a red shirt.

Nathan: "Where did you come from?"

Goodwin: "What do you mean? I was on the plane with you."

Nathan: "Then why aren't you wet like the rest of us?"

Goodwin hesitates, not being aware that Bernard was flung a little ways inland. "My clothes are wash-and-wear, drip dry."

Nathan: "Oh."

Nathan is suspicious, but lets it go. He goes into the jungle to take a leak, while Goodwin circles around, jumps into the water, swims out a ways, and then swims over toward where the tail section of the plane crashed, and then swims to shore.

Goodwin gasps for breath, and then says to the crowd, "More survivors? Thank goodness; I thought I was the only one."

Cindy is immediately attracted to the athletic man in the sopping wet clothes.

Cindy: "No there are seven of us, including myself. How come you just got here?"

Goodwin: "I was way in the back of the plane and got thrown backwards. I landed in the water, and the current took me way down the shore. I was afraid I would drown, but luckily I just managed to make it back."

Cindy: "You poor thing; your clothes must be soaked. You should dry them. My name is Cindy."

Goodwin: "I'm Goodwin. Yes, they're soaked, but that's not important." Goodwin sees Nathan returning. _Maybe it will be harder for him to recognize me without a shirt._ "Good idea, I'll at least hang my shirt up to dry." Goodwin does so as Cindy watches.

Nathan comes up. "Hey, aren't you the one I just saw back there?"

Goodwin: "You must be mistaken; I just swam ashore."

Nathan: "I don't think I'm mistaken."

Goodwin: "You must be seeing things."

Libby: "We just saw Goodwin swim up here. Seeing things is quite possible in this heat. I've seen this in the psychiatric hospital I work in."

Actually, more recently Libby had been a patient in the Santa Rosa Institution, having been placed there due to an irrational obsession with seeing aliens from outer space everywhere. As part of an attempt to cure her, she was flown from Los Angeles to Sydney to demonstrate there were no aliens flying high above the earth in UFO's, but it didn't work. She was on Flight 815 on the return trip. Regrettably, her luggage containing her medication, which was prescribed to be taken daily, was lost.

Ana-Lucia and Eko get back to the shore after seeing Goodwin swim past them, and are not convinced that Nathan saw Goodwin earlier. Ana-Lucia is now more concerned with the children.

Emma: "What's going to happen to us?"

Zach: "Yeah, we're supposed to meet our mother in Los Angeles."

Ana-Lucia: "That isn't going to happen for a while. But don't worry, rescue will come, and I promise I'll get you to your mother."

Goodwin starts a fire by rubbing two sticks together. "I was something of a boy scout."

To Ana-Lucia's and Cindy's disappointment, Eko's and Goodwin's shirts dry and they put them back on. The group then searches for food and water, and is able to get plenty of fruit. For some reason Goodwin has the most success in locating fruit trees.

They settle down to sleep on the beach. When everyone else is asleep, Goodwin sneaks off to communicate with Ben via walkie-talkie.

Goodwin: "We got trouble. One of the survivors spotted me coming from the jungle. We have to get him out of here."

Ben: "I'll send a crew to take care of it. What does person look like?"

Goodwin: "He's the only one wearing a red shirt."

Ben: "Ooh, we'll get a chance to use our fancy night-vision goggles. Also, are there any pregnant women or children among the survivors there?"

Goodwin: "No pregnant women or children, but there are two children who aren't pregnant. A brother and sister, age eight and ten. Do you want them abducted?"

Ben: "We aren't prepared for them yet. We'll get them later, but have to take care of the threat now."

Two hours later, Tom Friendly and Danny Pickett arrive at the beach with their night vision goggles. They grab Nathan, who wakes up, but is quickly knocked out. However, Eko wakes, and gets involved in the fight. Unfortunately he can't see well in the dark. Goodwin is awake and his eyes have adjusted to the moonlight, and assists by getting in the way. He takes a blow to the chin from Eko, and this wakes up Ana-Lucia. However, by this time Tom and Danny have had time to drag Nathan away, and Goodwin manages to trip Ana-Lucia, preventing her from following. Tom and Danny take Nathan to the village, where he gets brainwashed.

* * *

Day 2: Morning comes, and Eko is despondent. The children are still sleeping while the adults talk.

Eko: "It is my fault Nathan is missing. I should have realized there could be danger and stayed awake all night."

Bernard: "You are too hard on yourself. We are all in this together."

Ana-Lucia: "I agree with Bernard. We now know to be more careful."

Libby: "It couldn't be prevented. The space aliens are too powerful."

Having gone without medication for twenty-four hours, Libby is reverting to the state where she sees aliens from outer space everywhere. She has spent enough time with Ana-Lucia, Eko, Cindy, Goodwin, Bernard, Emma and Zach to know they are human, but will be highly suspicious of any strangers.

Eko: "It does not matter what you all say. I struck one of our own, and I failed to prevent an abduction."

Goodwin: "It wasn't your fault. You got quite a punch, but I'll recover." _Thanks to the healing properties of this island._

Eko: "I have decided on my punishment. I shall take a vow of silence for forty days."

Ana-Lucia: "No, please don't. We need you for defense, and if you can't talk, you will be endangering all of us."

Cindy: "How about something mildly uncomfortable, like going barefoot for forty days?"

Eko takes his dress shoes and socks off. "That is an insufficient punishment. Those shoes were uncomfortable."

Ana-Lucia: "I got it. You shall go bare-chested for forty days."

Eko looks at Ana. He gives her a funny look, and then says, "You are wise. It shall be done. This will be a constant reminder of my thoughtlessness. You must hide it from me lest I shall be tempted."

Eko strips off his shirt, which was somewhat damaged by the salt water anyway. Ana takes it, and at first hides it behind her back. Libby and Cindy exchange glances, and nod approval.

Bernard: "Isn't it strange that rescue hasn't come yet?"

Cindy: "Oopsie, I forgot to tell you yesterday. I was a flight attendant on Oceanic 815. The radio went out and the pilot decided to change course and head for the nearest airport, which was in Fiji. We were flying for two hours nearly perpendicular to our original flight path, so we're around a thousand miles off course. The rescuers won't be looking for us in the right place."

Ana-Lucia: "Now doesn't that just suck?"

Eko: "Ana-Lucia, please, watch your language. There are children present.

Ana-Lucia: "Fine, I'll rephrase that. Aw, shucks, now isn't that disappointing?"

Eko: "That's much better."

Bernard: "Then we have to find fresh water in a hurry."

Cindy stays with the children, who are just waking up. Ana-Lucia, Eko, Libby, Bernard, and Goodwin search the woods. Thanks to Goodwin's suggestion, they find water in a couple of hours.

When they return, they discuss what to do.

Bernard: "We should look for other survivors. Rose may be with them."

Ana: "It's unlikely anybody else survived. We have to make sure of surviving ourselves first, and protect the children."

Cindy: "Our best chance of rescue is to stay on the beach so we can see a ship if they come looking for us."

Ana-Lucia: "But we might get attacked again."

Eko: "We will be better prepared if there is a next time."

Eko goes into the jungle, and finds a thick stick about two meters long. He brings it back.

Ana-Lucia: "That's some club you got there."

Libby: "I got it. Speak softly and carry a big stick. I heard that somewhere."

Emma: "That was Teddy Roosevelt. I learned that in school."

Zach: "Way to show off, teacher's pet."

Emma: "Shut up."

Zach: "No, you shut up."

Ana-Lucia: "QUIET!"

Ana-Lucia is quite effective in getting the kids to stop arguing.

Eko: "So we will take shifts keeping guard through the night."

Cindy: "Okay by me."

Goodwin: "Works for me."

Bernard: "Can't think of anything better."

Libby: "Be careful, the aliens are more active at night."

The grown-ups somehow manage to keep guard all night, but the only thing of interest that happens is that Ana-Lucia burns Eko's shirt while he is sleeping.

* * *

Day 3: Another fascinating discussion takes place the next morning.

Cindy: "I wonder why the plane crashed. I've never heard of an airplane breaking apart in midair likes ours did. There was no bad weather or anything."

Eko: "It was the work of the devil."

Libby: "No, it had to be aliens. They can do all sorts of things in space."

Without her medication, Libby is becoming increasingly delusional, paranoid, and much more aggressive.

Zach: "Maybe the pilot saw Emma's face in the rear view mirror."

Emma: "Zach's breath probably fouled up the oxygen supply."

Bernard: "Stop it you all, this is ridiculous. We have a serious situation on our hands here."

Eko: "We can't keep living in fear forever."

Ana-Lucia: "I know what do to. There are criminals on this island. In case they come back, we have to build a jail."

Libby: "How are you going to do that?"

Ana-Lucia: "I figure the best way to do that with what we have is to dig a big hole in the ground, and cover it with branches tied close enough together so the perpetrator can't get through if he can climb the sides."

Libby: "That sounds like a lot of work."

Ana-Lucia: "Looks like we've got plenty of time."

Ana-Lucia and Eko spend all day digging a hole about six feet square and eight feet deep. That evening, Eko asks,

Eko: "How are you going to test it?"

Ana-Lucia: "The only effective way is with a real subject."

Emma: "I nominate Zach!"

Zach: "What?"

Goodwin: "I second the motion."

Ana-Lucia: "The motion has been made and seconded. All in favor:"

Emma, Goodwin, Cindy, Ana-Lucia, Libby, and Eko: "Aye."

Ana-Lucia: "Those opposed:"

Bernard and Zach: "Nay."

Ana-Lucia: "The ayes have it."

Eko grabs Zach and lowers him into the pit, dropping him the final few feet.

Zach: "Hey! This isn't fair! Unless it's Emma's turn next."

Eko: "That sounds fair to me."

Cindy: "Agreed."

Goodwin: "Fine with me."

Emma: "Uh …"

Ana-Lucia: "Those in favor of Emma testing the pit tomorrow night, say 'aye'."

Emma: "The motion wasn't seconded."

Zach: "I second the motion."

Ana-Lucia: "Fine. Now all those in favor:"

Zach, Goodwin, Cindy, Libby, Ana-Lucia, and Eko: "Aye."

Ana-Lucia: "Opposed:"

Bernard and Emma: "Nay."

Ana-Lucia: "The ayes have it."

Ana-Lucia and Eko cover the pit with branches and tie them down with vines. Zach can climb up the side of the pit but can't get through the tightly spaces branches.

Zach: "Fine, your jail works. At least I don't have to listen to Emma snoring."

* * *

Day 4: Ana-Lucia and Eko open the covering of the pit and throw down a vine for Zach to climb out.

Eko: "How was it last night?"

Zach: "Better than I thought it would be. I felt stupid not being able to get out, but it was nice having my own room. I do think it should be a little deeper."

Ana-Lucia: "I think you're right."

Ana spends the day making the hole twelve feet deep. When it's bedtime,

Emma: "Are you really going to put me in that pit?"

Ana-Lucia: "You do believe in equal rights, don't you?"

Emma: "Of course I do. But … oh never mind. If Zach can do it, I certainly can."

Emma resignedly climbs down a vine held by Eko.

Emma: "Hey, the air is fresher when you're farther away from Zach."

* * *

Day 5: This time Emma climbs the vine held by Eko.

Eko: "How did you do last night?"

Emma: "It was okay. The jail works very well. It's a perfect place to keep Zach, but if it means I have to be down there half the time, it's not worth it."

Ana-Lucia: "I got an idea. If you two keep fighting, you can spend more time down there together."

Emma and Zach agree on something. "Awwwwww …."

Days 6 through 22 are uneventful. Then on Day 23, they realize their food supply has run out.

Bernard: "Rescue isn't coming here. We have to go somewhere else and find food. And the other survivors, if there are any."

The others agree, and they head south, trying to stay close to the beach. Goodwin does not get a chance to take his walkie-talkie, and has to wing it. He does help guide a bit, and at the end of the day the group arrives at the Arrow hatch, after finding a close water supply and abundant fruit trees.

Bernard: "That is a remarkable discovery. This makes a great shelter."

Libby: "See the funny markings on the door? This was built by aliens."

Eko: "I'm not sure about that. The markings do look devilish, though."

Ana-Lucia: "It doesn't matter. I'm in charge here, and this is a big break. There is water and food around, and places to sleep. We have everything we need except a jail."

As they look inside, they find a radio and a bible.

Cindy: "A radio! Maybe we can contact someone." She turns it on, and gets nothing but static.

Bernard: "Good try. We should save the batteries, but can try it every day in case someone's out there."

Eko looks through the bible. "This is a sign. We were meant to find this place. But … what is this?"

A square is cut out of many pages in the middle, and a reel of tape is hidden inside.

Libby: "Too bad we don't have a movie projector."

* * *

Ana-Lucia spends days 24 and 25 digging another twelve-foot deep pit, this one about eight feet square. Not much happens the next several days. Cindy becomes more and more captivated with Goodwin, and the feeling becomes mutual. Ana-Lucia can't keep her eyes off the muscular Eko whenever she has the chance. Emma and Zach get bored by not squabbling at each other, and on day 32 decide it's worth a night in the pit together, and insult each other all day. Then there are nine more days of boredom.

FLASHBACK ENDS as ominous music is played.

* * *

Day 42:

Ana-Lucia: _It's been forty days since Eko last wore his shirt. I hope he's forgotten about that deal. I can always say I forgot his shirt and left it behind._

Fortunately for Ana-Lucia, Eko has forgotten about it. It is another routine day, when it starts raining in the middle of the day. The tail survivors spend the rest of the day in the Arrow. With nothing better to do, Bernard turns the radio on. There is some static, and then he is shocked to hear a voice.

Voice on radio: "Hello, can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!"

Bernard: "What? We're the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815."


	22. Maternity Never Leaves

Author's Notes: Thanks are overdue for D. D. Casale and MyLuckyWhistle for their wonderful encouragement and giving me the motivation to continue this story.

* * *

Previously on Lost Messed Up:

* * *

At the Beechcraft:

Boone: "Hello, can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!"

Voice on radio: "Hello, can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!"

The plane creaks more, and starts to tip over. Locke has a sudden burst of conscious.

Locke: _NO, I CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN!_ "BOONE, GET OUT OF THERE NOW!"

* * *

At the Arrow Hatch:

Voice on radio: "Hello, can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!"

Bernard: "What? We're the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815."

* * *

At the Beechcraft:

Alarmed, Boone runs down the aisle of the small plane. He leaps out the door into a graceful headlong dive for the cliff face as the plane hurtles to the ground. He catches one of the vines hanging from the cliff face, and slams into the cliff with his right knee.

"Ouch!"

Boone climbs down hand over hand along the vine which is swaying a little. He gets to the ground, but his leg can't support his weight and he falls to the ground.

Locke races over in horror. "Boone, can you feel your leg? This is all my fault."

Boone is a bit dazed. "Uhhhh …"

Locke: "I know what I have to do. I'll make a tourniquet out of my vest, and amputate your leg."

Boone comes to his senses. "Amputate? It's not that bad."

Locke: "Are you sure? I know how to do it. I just take my longest, sharpest knife, and …"

Boone: "No! Just get me a branch I can use as a crutch or walking stick."

Locke: "Okay. Hey, let's see if there's something useful in this plane."

Locke breaks off a nearby branch with a fork into a smaller branch and cuts it into a convenient shape for a crutch.

Locke: "How's that?"

Boone: "That's quite good, actually." Boone limps around.

Locke goes into the plane on the ground. "Let's see, all that's here is Nigerian money and these darling statues of the Virgin Mary."

Boone: "What an odd combination. I wonder what that could mean."

Locke puts several of the statues and money in his pack, and he and Boone head off for the beach camp. Along the way Locke stashes the money and statues in the cave where he often hangs out.

* * *

At the Arrow:

Ana-Lucia: "That can't be! It's a trap by those people who took Nathan!"

Libby: "It's the work of aliens!"

Eko: "That must have been the voice of the devil!"

Ana-Lucia, Libby, Eko, and Goodwin smash the radio into little pieces.

Bernard: "Goodwin, why did you participate in that? That radio could have been useful."

Goodwin thinks, _I can't let them realize there are more Oceanics on this island,_ but replies: "I got caught up in the excitement."

Bernard: "But that voice said Flight 815. There could be more survivors."

Ana-Lucia: "I don't believe that. They must have got that number from Nathan. Let's hope they weren't able to track the source of or signal. If they did, we may have to move out of there."

Eko: "It is a sign. We need more protection. I have an idea." Eko takes the Bible and chooses some passages from it. He then takes a small rock and etches the verses into his large stick.

* * *

At the beach, Claire is in agony.

Claire: "It hurts! Make the pain stop!"

Rose: "We don't have anything here to stop the pain. This childbirth will have to be completely natural."

Claire: "Then make it go faster!

Rose: "That isn't possible either. Try to think of how happy you'll be when this is over."

Claire: "But it hurts so much now!"

Kate: "Michael, why are you still here? Get Jack!"

Michael: "I'm sure he and Walt will come back here to get out of the rain."

Kate: "Didn't Walt spend a whole day up to his armpits in sand when it rained all the time, and didn't complain?"

Michael: "Oops. Okay, I'll get Jack." Michael heads for the golf course.

Claire: "AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

Shannon covers her ears. "That could have been heard a mile away."

* * *

A mile away, Jack and Walt are at the farthest point on the golf course, lying on the sand letting the rain pound on their backs.

Walt: "Did you hear something?"

Jack: "Maybe – a faint scream?"

Walt: "Yeah – you think that was Claire?"

Jack: "Claire! I forgot; she could be two weeks overdue. We have to get back."

The rain suddenly stops.

Walt: "I told you I didn't need to see a doctor. Anyone else might need you more."

Jack and Walt hurry back, with Walt picking up and carrying the golf clubs. At the new eighth green, which is near the third tee, they meet Michael.

Michael: "Hey guys, how's the golf game?"

Jack: "Average. It got interrupted by the rain storm. What are you doing out here?"

Michael: "Uh … I think there was something important back at the camp. Why did you stop playing? You could have continued where you left off."

Jack: "I … maybe my caddy remembers."

Walt: "We heard a scream, and though it was Claire."

Michael slaps his head. "Oh right, Claire went into labor. Rose and Sun are taking care of her, but it might be nice if you were around."

Jack: "Argh! And I wasn't there! I hope it's not too late."

They rush off toward the camp, with the caddy politely dropping the golf bag at the first tee. They get to the camp.

Michael: "Walt, you better not see this. Go stand in your hole, and fill it in the best you can."

Walt finds his hole has filled with water. He steps in with the shovel, and plunges up to his armpits. Some water splashes out. He then uses the shovel to scoop sand around him, but he can only pull in enough sand to bury himself up to his waist as the water slowly drains. He then throws the shovel away out of reach.

Walt: "This is the best I could do, Dad."

Michael looks down at his son, who with his top half visible looks like he's growing from a depression in the sand : "That's fine son, that wet sand looks very heavy."

Walt: "It is. I can't move my legs."

Michael: "Good. See you later." Michael goes over to the tent where all the excitement is.

* * *

Jack reaches the tent where Claire is.

Jack: "Claire! I'm here!"

Claire screams in Jack's ear: "Where were you? Make the pain go away!"

After Jack recovers his hearing, "I had another patient, but I'm all yours now."

Charlie: "I want to be all Claire's."

Jack: "That's not what I meant. Can I have a status report?"

Sun: "I tried to make Claire as comfortable as possible, but there isn't much we can do."

Rose: "Yes, and Claire is supposed to breathe regularly."

Jack: "You make it sound like you don't need me."

Rose doesn't want Jack's feelings hurt. "No, we didn't do anything too important. The main event is yet to come."

Claire: "AAAIIIIEEEEE!"

Sawyer: "Wow, Miss Banshee here screaming is almost as annoying as when Michael was yelling for WAAALLLT."

Michael: "That was a long time ago. See how much better behaved is now?"

Sawyer snickers at the sight of Walt many yards away: "Except for that incident with burning the raft."

Michael: "I know. He's accepted the fact that he needs to be monitored constantly until we leave on the second raft."

Claire: "AAAIIIIEEEEE!"

* * *

Locke and Boone are hiking back, with Boone limping along on his crutch.

Locke: "That sure sounded like someone in agony."

Boone: "Yes, that's not quite the sound that Shannon makes when … I mean, yes that's someone in agony."

They arrive at the beach at dusk. Jack sees Boone limping on the makeshift crutch.

Jack: "What happened to you?"

Locke: "Boone just had a little fall and banged his knee."

Jack: "Are you sure that's all? If your leg gets infected we may have to amputate."

Boone: "It does not need to be amputated! It felt like it was getting better on the way here."

Sayid: "Where did you go? You mentioned something about blowing up a hatch a few days ago, and then never got back to me about it."

Boone: "We have to tell them."

Locke is distressed, but relents since Boone was almost killed.

Locke: "We found an underground structure, and I think it is the key to the island. We've been trying to get in, but the only entrance is sealed shut."

Jack: "A hatch? What are you talking about? Why didn't you tell me?"

Claire: "AAAIIIIEEEEE! It's coming!"

Jack: "We'll discuss it later, I have something more important to do now."

Jack rushes over to Claire. "How far apart are the contractions?"

Claire: "I'm not timing them! AAIIIEEE!"

Jack: "That's close enough. Now push."

Charlie: "Here Claire, hold my hand."

Claire seizes Charlie's hand and crushes it.

Charlie: "Ow!"

Ethan: "Here Claire, take my hand. I'm a lot stronger."

A light bulb goes off over Charlie's head.

Charlie: "Hand! Handwriting! Whatever happened to the note you said Claire wrote when you two were away?"

Ethan: _I had forgotten about that. What did happen to it?_ "I don't know."

Claire: "It's … It's … AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIII!"

Jack delivers the baby. "Congratulations Claire, it's a boy!"

Claire: "Thank God that's over with."

Shannon: "What a mess."

Kate: "We should get something to wrap the baby in."

Locke: "I can cut up my vest to make a boarskin diaper."

There are some groans around.

Claire: "I have a better idea. I don't need this entire baggy maternity dress any more. You can cut out an area around the middle."

Locke: "Okay." Locke cuts out the middle of Claire's dress, leaving a two piece outfit that has the benefit of making it easy for Claire to breast-feed. The group goes away to give Claire some privacy.

* * *

At night, Ethan sneaks away for his report.

Ethan: "Claire just gave birth to a healthy baby boy."

Ben: "Good. Like Juliet said, we'll have to let Claire feed him for a while until he's ready for the nutrition we can provide. What about the raft?"

Ethan: "The raft is going to be ready in a few days, and it's being guarded carefully twenty-four seven."

Ben: "All right. We need to make an elaborate plan for Walt's abduction. When they set sail, let me know. Tom and a crew will go out on a power boat, and ride around in the ocean all night and hope we find them. There may be a gun battle, but that's a chance we'll have to take. We'll damage the raft so that they can't follow Tom back. Oh, and we'll set off a fake black smoke signal to distract them, and …"

Juliet: "No! No gun battles, Sawyer's supposed to be on that raft and could get hurt!"

Ben: "Juliet! How did you get on this line? Are you eavesdropping?"

Juliet: "I thought I was invited."

Ethan: "Why don't I just kidnap the boy now?"

Stunned silence from Ben. "I never thought of that. You think you're up to it?"

Ethan: "My cover may be about to be blown; Charlie finally recovered from all his drug-induced stupors to question that note I made up."

Ben: "Okay, I guess. But I like unnecessarily convoluted plans. They show off my cleverness and are so much more fun."

Juliet: "This is too serious to risk for a little extra fun. I think Ethan can manage."

Ethan: "I'm highly competent. You see how well the kidnapping of Claire went. If I fail, we can fall back on your ridiculously complicated plan."

Ben: "Very well, give it a shot."

Ethan sets down the walkie-talkie in his hiding place, and comes back to the beach.

* * *

The next morning, everyone is fawning over Claire and her baby.

Jack: "How are you and the baby this morning?"

Claire: "Much better than I thought we would be. He's been no trouble at all. It's as if he was meant for this island."

Jack: "Have you given him a name yet?"

Claire: "I hadn't thought of that."

Jack: "I think Jack is a good name."

Jin: "Jin is good name."

Locke: "You could always go with John."

Michael: "How about Michael?"

Walt: "I think Walt would be best."

Michael: "Walt? How did you get out?"

Walt: "The sand dried up overnight and no one packed it down hard, so I was able to twist my hips and wriggle my way out. I'm sure I looked ridiculous but it was a lot of fun. Oh … did I do wrong? Do I have to be buried up to my armpits now?"

Michael thinks for a moment. "No, I think you've been down there enough. Go find something to occupy yourself, but stay on the beach where you can be seen."

Walt: "Okay, thanks Dad." Walt goes into their tent, and sees only the rubber ball and handcuffs. Since Vincent is not around he takes the handcuffs, goes to a spot about fifty meters away on the beach near the tree line, and twirls them around his fingers, and goes into deep thought.

* * *

Back at Claire's tent, the suggestion of names continues.

Boone: "Would you consider Boone?"

Claire: "I don't think so."

Sayid: "What about … never mind."

Sawyer: "I think James would be suitable."

Hurley: "How about calling the little dude Hugo?"

Charlie: "The little guy looks like a Turniphead to me."

Claire: "Thanks for all the suggestions guys, but I need to think this over."

* * *

While several people are working on the raft, Sayid confronts Locke and Boone:

Sayid: "Now tell us about this hatch."

Locke: "Boone and I found this underground structure, and have been trying to get in for weeks. We tried blasting the metal door, which leads down somewhere, open with dynamite, but the dynamite sticks turned out to be toys."

Sayid: "It would be very strange for such a structure to have only one entrance."

Boone: "You think there's a way to find another entrance?"

Sayid: "Yes. You get a large group of people to spiral out, and check every possible hiding place."

Locke: "All right. Let's assemble all those who want to search in half an hour."

* * *

Walt is sitting dejectedly on the beach, dreading the prospect of having to leave the island. With nothing better to do, he idly jangles his handcuffs. Ethan realizes this may be his best chance to kidnap Walt.

Ethan: "What's up, Walt?"

Walt: "Oh, hi Ethan. Nothing. Vincent ran off again, and there's no one who will play with me because of the raft. Besides, they're excited about the baby."

Ethan: "That's too bad. What do you got there, handcuffs? Not too much you can play with those."

Walt: "Well, there's cops and robbers, but none of the grown-ups would play that …" Walt looks up hopefully at Ethan. "I don't suppose you would?"

Ethan: "Nah, that's not my thing … well … maybe if I was the cop."

Walt bounces up, excited. "Great! Just let me ask my dad if it's okay." Walt runs toward the people working on the raft before Ethan can react.

Ethan: "No wait …" _Don't tell Michael. That will ruin everything._ Ethan's plan is apparently foiled, and he chases after Walt.

Walt runs up to Michael. "Hey Dad, can I play cops and robbers with Ethan? I'm going to be the robber."

Ethan is a few seconds behind. "I didn't mean … uh …"

Michael: "Walt, please stand over there until I call you. I need to talk to Ethan."

Walt: "Okay." Walt runs a couple dozen meters away.

Ethan, thinking about how upset Michael was when the first raft was burned, is wary of Michael's temper, and thinks up an excuse. "Hey Mike, it's just that Walt was lonely back there, and we were just talking, and …"

Michael: "No sweat, Ethan, Walt has suffered enough, and I think it's great that you're taking an interest in my son. Everybody else is still mad at him for burning the first raft, and he could use a friend. Go ahead and have a good time."

Ethan is relieved that Michael isn't going to try to kill him. "Oh, er, sure, thanks Mike. I promise I'll take it easy on him."

Michael: "Hold it, that's not such a good idea. Walt hates being treated like a little sissy kid. He'd much rather be treated like a tough guy, so be a bit rough on him. Don't overdo it, obviously, but make it more realistic. Go ahead and play rough."

Ethan can't believe his good fortune, but keeps his composure. "Whatever you say, Mike. I'll keep Walt occupied while you're building the raft. Good luck with it." Ethan presses his luck. "Say how I about I keep him out overnight, like we're camping?"

Michael: "That's a great idea. That's a great way to keep him from messing with this raft. If you can stand him for two or three days; that would be terrific."

Ethan: "I think I can manage. Let's try for three days from now; you should be just about done with the raft by then."

Michael: "Great, it's a go." Turning to Walt, "Walt, come over here and give Ethan those handcuffs."

Walt happily obliges, and holds out his hands so Ethan can cuff them.

Ethan is about to slap the cuffs on, when he remembers what Michael said. "Walt, are you one of those small-time crooks who it's safe to handcuff their hands in front of them, or are you a tough dude who needs to be cuffed behind his back?"

Walt can't pass up a chance to be considered tough. "I'm a tough dude, and I'm plenty dangerous! You better watch out!" Walt turns around and extends his hands backward, toward Ethan.

Ethan snaps the handcuffs on Walt's wrists, closing the links all the way. Since Walt's wrists are skinny, there is still a little slack in them, but there is not nearly enough room for him to pull his hands free.

Walt turns around with a huge grin on his face. "Look Dad, I'm handcuffed, and I can't get out." Walt spins around slowly to demonstrate, jangling the cuffs, and then laughs when he is facing Michael and Ethan again.

Michael: "You know Walt, you look good in those cuffs. Your muscles stand out more. Looks like your growth spurt is well under way."

Walt: "Cool! This is going to be so much fun! Let me try something." Walt tries to bring his hands in front of him by forcing them around and under his butt, but the chain between the links of the handcuffs is too short. He laughs again. "I can't get my hands in front of me. I'm really stuck."

Michael: "Now remember, Walt, Ethan is being very nice playing with you, so play right. You're his prisoner, so you have to do what he says."

Walt: "I know, Dad. I'll be good, I promise."

Michael: "Good. Now you might have to serve a three-day sentence. I don't want to hear any trouble from you."

Walt was expecting this to last just a few hours, but the prospect of an extended game is exciting: "Three days? Neato! Thanks Dad!"

Ethan gets a backpack and puts some food and water bottles in it. Then he sticks a finger between Walt's shoulder blades. "All right then, march!" Ethan pushes Walt toward the jungle, thinking, _all I have to do is get Walt in the jungle, and we're home free._ Unfortunately for Ethan, Kate comes out of the jungle after a water run, carrying a grungy shirt at arm's length on a stick.

Kate: "Hi boys, what are you doing? Look Walt, isn't this your shirt? It's kind of chewed up and filthy, but once we wash it, you'll have something more to wear than just that little loincloth when someone finds you on that raft."

Ethan is afraid his plan is ruined, and can't answer. Fortunately for him, Walt does.

Walt tries to reach for his shirt, and immediately finds he can't. "Hi Kate! Thanks for finding my shirt, but I won't be able to put it on for a while. See, I'm handcuffed." Walt, smiling, turns around to show Kate.

Kate is initially aghast. She recognizes the handcuffs, but doesn't want to show any familiarity with them. "Why are you in those handcuffs?"

Walt: "We're playing cops and robbers. Dad said it was okay. I've been very bad, so I had to be cuffed behind my back. So please save my shirt until we get back." Walt comes up with another reason. "And like this, Ethan can be sure I'm not carrying any concealed weapons."

Kate lets out a chuckle: "That's certainly true. I guess you guys know what you're doing. But … is there a key to those things?"

Ethan has had time to recover. "Maybe there is, and maybe there isn't. We can always cut them with that axe from the plane. And I bet there's someone around who can pick the locks."

Kate gets alarmed, and quickly throws suspicion away from herself. "I think you're right; I bet Sawyer or Sayid could do that. Well, have fun guys." Kate can't resist, and pinches Walt's cheek.

Walt: "Ugh! Why'd you have to do that?"

Kate: "Because you're too cute."

Walt: "I am not cute! You're lucky I'm cuffed, or I would have knocked your hand away."

Kate: "But you are cuffed, and adorable like that." She pinches Walt's other cheek."

Walt: "Ugh!" Walt is indignant and helpless.

Ethan: "Come on, Prisoner, aren't you man enough to accept the consequences of your actions?"

Walt is ashamed at his behavior. He stands up straight, and puffs out his chest. "I'm sorry for how I reacted, Kate. I deserve whatever I get."

Kate: "Apology accepted." She then ruffles Walt's hair, and he takes it like a man. "So long guys, have a good time." Kate continues on to the beach camp, relieved that no one suspects her criminal past. She walks up to the raft.

Kate: "Hey, Michael. I just saw Walt and Ethan going into the jungle. Do you know Walt is in handcuffs?"

Michael: "Sure. They're playing cops and robbers. It's great that Ethan's taken an interest in Walt. Everyone's been cold to Walt since he burned the first raft, but it's time he had some fun with someone."

Kate: "He did look like he was having fun. But isn't it unusual to use handcuffs like that?"

Michael laughs: "I can tell you didn't have any brothers growing up. Lots of boys like to play with handcuffs."

Kate: "Er … right, I'm an only child. I never saw handcuffs in real life before, and don't really know anything about them. Oh, here, I found Walt's shirt. Looks like Vincent or Gussie chewed it up pretty good."

Kate hands Michael the shirt, and Michael drops it.

Michael: "Ick! This may be beyond repair, but thanks."

* * *

Ethan breathes a huge sigh of relief. He then jabs a finger in Walt's back again. "Enough stalling, march!" Ethan shoves Walt into the jungle.

Walt stumbles a little, but catches his balance. He enjoys the realism of the game, and the uncertainty of how the handcuffs will eventually be opened adds to the thrill. Ethan guides Walt past the hiding place for the walkie-talkie, and recovers it and stores it in his pack without Walt seeing.

A few minutes later Ethan asks, "How do you think cops and robbers is played?"

Walt: "You're supposed to take me to jail, and try to question me. I try to escape, and avoid answering your questions."

Ethan thinks for a minute. _Jail? He can be locked up in any of a number of places in the village._ "That sounds right to me. I know where there's a great jail. But it's a long way away, and I don't know if you can make it."

Walt is having none of this. "I can walk as far as you can. I can walk all day; I'm in great shape and it's not as if I have anything else to do."

Ethan: "That's the spirit. If you make it, I'll put in a good word for you at your parole hearing. You could get time off for good behavior."

Walt laughs again at Ethan's accurate portrayal. "You're good at this. I'll tell the warden you deserve a promotion."

Ethan and Walt disappear deep into the jungle, heading north.

* * *

Back in Othersville, the Others are assessing the ratings on their computers.

Juliet: "Did the episode on the tail section survivors boost the ratings?"

Ben: "A little. Enough to keep us going for another couple episodes anyway."

Bea: "What about the opening teasers?"

Ben: "There was some positive reaction to that, so that experiment will continue."

Bea: "But you have to be careful you don't give too much away, or no one will tune in."

Ben: "We're always careful. But we now we're stuck waiting for Ethan's and Goodwin's reports, so we may as well go back to our usual routine. "

Tom: "You mean the Book Club?"

Ben: "Yes. In whose house is the meeting today?"

Juliet: "Since Ethan and Goodwin aren't here, Mikhail has joined the rotation. Reading is good for keeping his one good eye strong."

Ben, Juliet, Bea, and Tom go to Mikhail's house. Mikhail's smile looks a little sinister with the black patch over his right eye.

Mikhail: "Welcome, everyone. So what book are we reading today?"

Bea: "The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne."

Juliet: "I remember something about that. Isn't that the one were the woman has to wear a large red "A" on her dress because she was found to have committed adultery?"

Mikhail: "Technically, that would be a scarlet 'A'."

Tom: "Who uses the word 'adultery' these days?"

Bea: "It's an old book. It has romance, passion, and forbidden love."

Ben: "Ooh, all sorts of good things. Let's begin."

The Book Club members take turns reading the pages out loud as usual.


	23. Man of Loneliness, Man of Hypochondria

Locke has assembled the remaining survivors. "I have an announcement to make. Boone and I have found an underground structure, let's call it a hatch. I believe that it is very important that we get inside it. We may find out why we are here. There is one impenetrable entrance, a metal covering that's welded shut. Sayid thinks there is another entrance, and we can find it if a lot of us participate in an organized search. Now who wants to go?"

Jack: "I have to be at something this important. But I should stay by Claire in case she needs me."

Claire: "I'm fine now, but I don't think I'm up for a trip like that just yet."

Charlie: "I'll stay with you then."

Shannon: "If Sayid's going, I'm going."

Kate: "I'm a good tracker, I should go."

Sawyer: "In that case it's worth the trip."

Hurley: "I could use a break from the raft. I'm up for it."

Sun: "Sounds interesting."

Jin: "I go with Sun."

Michael: "Hey, is anyone going to help me with the raft?"

Jack: "You're too obsessed with that raft. It will do you a lot of psychological good to get away from it for a few hours."

Michael: "But it needs to be guarded at all times."

Charlie: "Rose and I can do that."

Locke: "Besides, there's no danger of it being burned again because Walt is safe with Ethan."

Michael: "John, when you're right, you're right. Let's do this."

Everyone goes to the hatch.

Jack: "I can't believe you didn't tell me about this."

Boone: "Believe it Jack."

Jack: "Hey, you've been walking very well."

Boone: "I told you I didn't need an amputation. Like John says, the island has a way of healing people quickly."

Sayid: "Everybody get in a line. Now we walk around this hole in the ground and spiral out. I'll be on the inside and follow a path just to the outside of the person at the end of the line, so we don't miss any ground. Look for any possible opening – a trapdoor in the ground, hidden entrances in large trees or sides of hills, anything."

Jack: "Who put you in charge?"

Sayid: "It was my idea, and I haven't asserted my brilliance lately."

Shannon runs her hands over Sayid's shoulders: "I love it when you take charge."

Locke: "Let's get this show on the road then."

They spiral out under Sayid's direction, having to go around trees and through bushes, checking every possible location for a secret entrance. After half an hour, Boone swats away some overhanging vines along the side of a steep hill face and bangs his hand against something metal.

Boone: "Ouch!"

Sawyer: "What did Clumsy do to himself this time?"

Boone: "Nothing. I just hit my hand against something hard, like metal."

Locke: "Metal? That may be it."

They clear away the vines, and reveal a large thick metal door with a picture of a swan on it among other symbols.

Locke: "You found it!"

Locke bangs on the door, but there is no response. The group examines it for cracks, or any way in, but don't find anything. Then Shannon makes an important discovery.

Shannon: "This looks like a doorbell."

Boone: "There would never be a doorbell on a thing like this."

Shannon: "What makes you so sure?"

Shannon pushes the button, and is sprayed in the face by a lot of seltzer water from a small hole that opens up as chimes play the tune of Big Ben. Sayid can't keep form laughing.

Boone: "I have to admit Shannon you were right."

Sayid: "Good thing you're wearing that bikini and not a nice party dress. That would have been ruined."

Shannon is incensed. "Why don't you do something useful and figure out how that mechanism works?"

Sayid: "Actually, we might be able to figure out a way in by that."

Sayid looks more closely at the place where the water squirted from, and Shannon rings the doorbell again, this time getting Sayid. Shannon and everyone else besides Sayid laugh heartily.

* * *

Down in the depths of the Swan Hatch, Desmond is working out on some exercise equipment. As usual, he is wearing only a pair of white shorts and athletic shoes, having come to the realization long ago that wearing shirts in this place was pointless. It was always warm, and washing them would be a waste of precious resources. The timeless classic, "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," is playing on an old-fashioned record player when it is interrupted by the doorbell. Desmond is in shock for a few moments. Then he stops his workout, turns off the music, puts on a white shirt with a Dharpa logo on it, and then dons a yellow Hazmat suit. He picks out a rifle from a locker, and climbs up a long flight of stairs. He wonders if the bell ringer is Kelvin's long overdue replacement, or an enemy trying to destroy the world. He opens the door, and to his surprise sees a lot of scantily clad people. The women are in outfits resembling bikinis and miniskirts, and most of the men don't have shirts. He feels overdressed for the occasion, and then remembers his mission. Pointing his rifle at the newcomers, he asks,

Desmond: "Are you him? Or her?"

Locke steps up. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

Desmond: "I'm the one with the rifle. Are you the replacement for this station?"

Locke guesses: "I guess so."

Desmond: "Then what did one snowman say to the other snowman?"

Locke: "What? Why are you talking in riddles? We are survivors of a plane crash."

Desmond: "Wrong answer."

Jack has to take charge: "Look here, you ..." Jack does a double take. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

Desmond has the same feeling, but replies, "Wrong answer. Next. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?"

Shannon: "I'm not some dumb blonde you know. Snowmen can't talk."

Desmond: "Wrong. Next."

Boone: "It's too hot here for snow or snowmen."

Desmond: "Next."

Sayid: "This is serious. We could really use some good food, and a better shelter would be nice. Why can't you treat us in a civil manner?"

Desmond: "Next."

Sawyer: "Look here, Space Case, you got a shelter or supplies that can help us?" _Or supplies I can add to my stash?_

Desmond: "Not if you are not him. Next."

Kate: "Why are you wearing that funny suit? I bet you'd look great if you took that off."

Desmond: "Next."

Michael: "Isn't that a kid's riddle? I bet my son would know, but he's playing with another passenger now."

Desmond: "Next."

Jin: "What did he say?"

Desmond: "Next."

Sun explains in Korean. "My husband is just learning English, and hadn't heard of snowmen."

Desmond: "Next."

Hurley: "Smells like carrots."

Desmond: "You're him! You others, wait outside."

Hurley goes through the door, and Desmond locks it behind him. They go down the steps, and Hurley is astonished at all the trappings of the Swan Hatch. In particular, he is enamored with all the food in the pantry.

Hurley: "Where did all this food come from? We've been living on fish and fruit, and the occasional boar."

Desmond: "There are periodic food drops, every six months. The next one is due in a few days."

Hurley: "What's with the space suit?"

Desmond: "Because there are germs outside."

Hurley: "We've lived outside for weeks and didn't germs. You know dude, that would be a good Halloween costume."

Desmond: "No germs?

A loud beeping sound emanates from deeper into the hatch.

Hurley: "What is that?"

Desmond: "That's the computer we have to use to save the world. We have to enter a sequence of numbers before 108 minutes elapses."

Hurley shudders at the mention of the number.

Desmond: "The countdown starts four minutes before the deadline."

Hurley grimaces again.

They reach the computer.

Desmond: "First you type in a four, then a space, then …"

Hurley loses it. "Don't tell me!" He shoves Desmond aside, and starts typing.

Hurley: "Eight! Fifteen! Sixteen! Twenty-three! Forty-two!"

Desmond is astonished, but the beeping continues.

Desmond: "Then you have to push this button labeled 'execute'." Desmond does so, the beeping stops, and a counter on the wall resets to 108:00. A second later it reads 107:59, and it continues counting down. "How did you know those numbers?"

Hurley: "They've haunted me for years. A buddy of mine ranted about them in the … a place we stayed together at, and then the lottery, and all over this island."

Desmond: "Anyway, we have to push these buttons every 104 to 108 minutes until the next replacements come."

Hurley: "Uh … how long have you been here, dude?"

Desmond: "Dude? The name's Desmond. Just about three years. My previous partner went insane and ran off a few months after I got here, and left me alone to save the world. Now it's up to the two of us. This will work a lot better with two people."

Hurley: "Everybody calls me Hurley. But hey, there're lots of good people outside. They're my friends, and we can all take shifts."

Desmond thinks about it. "You mean I won't have to stay here all the time? I can leave this place?"

Hurley: "Sure, though I'm sure we'd need you around to show how things work. We got a nice camp on the beach, but we don't have much stuff."

Desmond: "Like clothes? I got a few changes here, but not enough to go around."

Hurley: "Yeah, funny how that happened. Everyone seemed to have little accidents where they'd lose their shirts or tops, and sometimes more. I've been lucky in that regard."

Desmond: _Perhaps all of them were lucky in that regard._ "All right then, let's go back outside."

* * *

Outside, Jack is pouting. "Why did Hurley get to go in? I'm the leader."

Sayid: "Cool it Jack, Hurley hasn't been featured too prominently lately and deserves the chance."

Shannon: "Sayid's right. And he and I deserved a little scene as well."

Jack: "But it should have been me." Jack pounds on the Swan Hatch door.

Sayid and Shannon exchange knowing glances. Then Sayid rings the doorbell, causing Jack to get squirted by the seltzer water.

Michael: "That's a good trick. I have to bring Walt up here when he gets back."

* * *

Desmond and Hurley climb back up the stairs and open the door.

Desmond: "Hurley here has convinced me to invite you all in."

They all go downstairs, and Desmond explains the timer and computer again.

Jack: "I'm a doctor. Did I see you in medical school or residency somewhere?"

Desmond: "That couldn't have been me. But tell me, are there really no germs out there?"

Jack: "Nothing out of the ordinary. We've been pretty healthy for over a month."

Sayid: "Forty-three days now."

Desmond: "But that means … that means … Kelvin lied to me! He told me that the outside air was filled with poisonous radiation, and it wasn't safe to go outside without this Hazmat suit."

Jack: "It looks like he lied to you, or the atmosphere has cleared up by now."

Desmond: "I guess so." Desmond takes off the Hazmat suit and stores the rifle in a locker.

Jack: "What is the hygiene situation here? Do you have plumbing?"

Desmond: "There is a bathroom over there. It has a shower, but there's only enough water for two five-minute showers per day."

Shannon barely edges Kate in a race to the shower. Shannon shrieks when she sees a mirror. There are a couple of fresh towels, so she and Kate each get to use one in turn. Shannon emerges beautiful, and while Kate is taking her shower,

Shannon: "Boone! Why didn't you tell me I looked so hideous?"

Boone: "What would you have done if I had?"

Shannon pauses. "Probably hit you."

Boone: "That's why I didn't say anything."

Sayid: "Shannon has never looked hideous."

Shannon: "You do know how to say the right things." She gives Sayid a hug.

The beeping goes off again, and Desmond demonstrates what to do.

Sawyer: "So if I understand Scotty correctly, somebody has to be around to push those stupid buttons every 108 minutes? That would make it a pain to sleep here."

Sayid: "Technically, it's every 104 to 108 minutes."

Kate: "You mean if we stay here, we have to listen to that thing going off all the time?"

Desmond: "Aye. But now we have plenty of people for shifts."

Locke: "I think we should set up a sequence of two-person shifts to be safe. I volunteer for tonight."

Boone: "Me too."

Shannon: "Figures you want to hang out with your boyfriend as much as possible."

Boone: "Well so are you. I mean, John is not my boyfriend."

Shannon is flustered. "But … but … I'm a girl, so it's different."

Locke: "Never mind that. We left some people on the beach. The rest of us should go back after getting enough to eat, and then bring everyone here tomorrow. Then we can figure out how to set up the shifts."

Desmond: "Good idea. By the way, there are two beds in the bunkroom here, but room to sleep on a couch and some chairs, or the floor."

Kate: "We could draw straws, and set up shifts at random."

Hurley: "We could, or we could see if we still have an audience and follow their suggestions, first come first serve."

Sun: "You mean Jin and I might not be on a shift together?"

Jin: "I fight whoever suggests that."

Sun: "Nobody is going to want to fight you."

Hurley: "Come on dudes, let's eat."

Sayid: "How much food is here?"

Desmond: "There was supposed to be enough for two men for six months, but since "I've been alone for more than two years, I guess there's now enough for one person for two and a half years."

Sayid: "There are eighteen of us, not counting you, so split nineteen ways that would last forty-eight days. We could well be rescued by then."

Hurley: "That doesn't come out to one of the numbers? That's a relief."

Sawyer: "How many people did you count El Gordo here as, Mr. Abacus?"

Jack: "Stop it! Desmond, how do you feel about sharing this food?"

Desmond: "Anyone who helps pushing those buttons is welcome to it."

Locke: "Where does this food come from?"

Desmond: "Not sure exactly. Kelvin just told me it was from the people who found out about this crazy property of this island. They drop the food and supplies from an aeroplane."

Jack: "Did you try signaling this plane?"

Desmond: "Haven't been able to. This place locks down during the drops."

Locke: "Fascinating."

Sayid: "Don't you have any way of communicating with the outside world?"

Desmond: "Nay. If the wrong people found out about this, it could mean the end of the world."

Sayid: "How did you get here?"

Desmond: "My boat crashed here in a storm. I was wandering around when I ran into Kelvin, and he explained how this place works."

Hurley: "Whatever happened to eating?"

Jack: "Oh right, let's do this."

Everybody eats, mainly from a wide variety of canned goods. The meal ends when the beeping starts again.

Shannon: "That must get annoying fast."

Locke: "I have to try this."

Locke goes over to the computer and enters the numbers. The beeping stops. "I may have found my purpose in life. Or at least the reason I was sent here."

Sawyer: "You need more ambitious goals in life, Mount Baldmore."

Jack: "We have to get back and let Claire know about this. And Charlie and Rose."

Kate: "What about those other two … I forget since they aren't important."

Hurley: "That was Joanna and Seth, the pilot."

Jack: "Oh yeah, forgot about them. They can stay and guard the raft, and watch for rescue planes, but I don't believe any are coming after all this time."

The group, except for Locke, Boone, and Desmond, go back to the beach camp.

Jack: "Claire, how are you?"

Claire: "I'm fine. Did you find anything interesting?"

Jack: "Locke was right about the hatch. There was a guy living there, and he's had to keep pushing some computer buttons about every 105 minutes or so for the last three years. He and Boone stayed behind to help him out."

Shannon: "And this guy Desmond, he has a funny accent like you, only different."

Claire: "Did they have any baby stuff there?"

Jack: "I'm afraid not. The station wasn't set up for babies."

Charlie: "Too bad. The little Turniphead could use some more nappies."

Claire: "Was there material there that could be used?"

Kate: "There were a few changes of clothes, and some linens for bedding."

Claire looks at Kate, and realizes something. "Kate, you look so clean! And so does Shannon."

Kate: "There was a shower in there. The guy there said there was enough water for two showers a day."

Claire: "I have to go there tomorrow! A new mother and baby must have priority."

Jack: "That sounds fair."

Claire: "If there's a shower, is there a real bathroom?"

Jack: "Yes."

Michael is a bit disappointed. "That means we won't need the outhouses I built any more."

Jack: "No it doesn't; we can't all stay at the hatch all the time. We appreciate the work you put into those, and they'll still get some use."

Michael: "Thank you, that makes me feel better."

Jack: "Good, now it's getting late, so we should all get a good rest and sleep on what we're going to do about the hatch situation. Oh, and I understand Walt is with Ethan?"

Michael: "Yes, they're playing cops and robbers, and will be away for three days. It was so nice of Ethan to keep Walt occupied and away from the raft. Walt's had a rough time the last several days with everyone down on him for burning the first raft, and he's suffered enough."

Jack: "That's good; it will be healthy for him to have some fun for his last few days on this island."

* * *

Walt and Ethan have spent the rest of the day walking toward Othersville. Walt becomes very proficient at moving while handcuffed behind his back, though it presents a problem for eating. The sun is setting while they are still in deep jungle.

Ethan: "We're not going to make it to the jail today, so we'll have to spend the night here."

Walt: "Neat. But I'm hungry, and I can't feed myself like this."

Ethan: "Well, I can't unlock those cuffs, so I'll have to feed you." Ethan takes a banana from his pack, and feeds it to Walt. Ethan does the same with some pieces of mangoes, and then sticks a water bottle in Walt's mouth. Walt tilts his head back and drinks it. It is not very dignified, but similar to when Michael had to feed Walt while he was buried to his chin in the sand, and when Locke stuck a water bottle in his mouth while he was tied to the tree near the caves.

Ethan: "Have you had enough to eat?"

Walt: "Yes."

Ethan: "Good. Now I can't risk having such a dangerous prisoner run away, so I'll have to tie you so you can't. You are tough enough to handle that, aren't you?"

Walt, somewhat concerned: "Yes, but promise you won't leave me alone?"

Ethan: "Absolutely I promise. The last thing I want to do is lose you."

Walt: "Okay."

Ethan cuts down some vines and ties Walt's lower legs together, and then ties the end of one of those vines around a tree. "How's that?"

Walt flails some, and gives up, flopping down on his stomach. "I can't reach those knots, or get my feet loose. And my shoulders are real sore." _Actually I could reach the knot around the tree, but I'm not letting him know that._

Ethan: "I can fix that." Ethan gives Walt a quick shoulder rub. "Is that better?"

Walt: "Yeah." He squirms a little, and looks up forlornly at Ethan. "So I'm going to have to sleep like this?"

Ethan looks down at the captive boy. Ethan waits for a minute, creating suspense. "No, I don't think that's a good idea."

Walt sighs in relief and laughs. "You had me going, I really thought you were. You're being way more realistic than I imagined."

Ethan: "Actually, I'm afraid you might call out for help in the middle of the night, so I'd better gag you. If you're tough enough of course."

Walt: _He was serious? _Walt is concerned this is going too far, but like usual, he can't pass up a chance to be considered tough. "I am not a wimp! I'm plenty tough enough!"

Ethan takes a bandanna from his pack, rolls it up, and ties it around Walt's mouth and head. "Mumble if you need something."

Walt assesses the situation for a few seconds. _Did I make a big mistake?_ He ponders some more, feeling foolish at first, and then grins behind the gag. _Nah, this really is fun. I'm sure I'll wake up first, and then I'll get to escape. I'll show them all!_

Ethan: "You okay there, prisoner?"

Walt nods.

Ethan: "Good. How about another shoulder rub?"

Walt nods again: "Mmpf."

Ethan rubs Walt's shoulders, and then applies some pressure to Walt's carotid arteries in the process. Combined with the exhaustion of walking for so long, Walt passes out.

Ethan walks a distance away, and turns on his walkie-talkie. "Hello Ben? Ethan here."

Ben is pacing in front of Juliet and Bea, worried about the mission. "Ethan! How is it going? What's the plan? You think you can get away with kidnapping the boy when it's dark, and hope no one sees and stops you?"

Ethan gives a little laugh. "It's going much better than that. I've already kidnapped him."

Ben: "In broad daylight? How did you manage that?"

Ethan: "He thinks we're playing cops and robbers, and he's the robber. He practically begged me to put him in handcuffs, actually Kate's, even though we don't have the key."

Ben: "Cops and robbers? That's … amazing. But then I don't get to run my wonderfully complicated plan."

Ethan: "Something else could happen. They still will probably finish the raft, but who knows who will be on it."

Ben feels better. "Good. I hate it when my ingenuity is wasted. Now, did you have any problems abducting your little prisoner?"

Ethan: "I thought I had blown it when he ran off to get Michael's permission, but the old man was most encouraging. Seeing his son in the cuffs was the happiest I've seen Michael in a long time. Even said I could be rough, because Walt hates being considered a wimp. Also said we could play for three days, so no one will think to look for the boy before then."

Ben: "That's great news. Where are you now?"

Ethan: "About three-fourths the way to the village. We can make it there tomorrow morning."

Ben: "And I take it Walt is secure for now?"

Ethan: "Absolutely. I tricked him into letting himself be cuffed behind his back, and he let me tie his feet together and to a tree and then gag him."

Juliet is appalled: "Ethan, are you insane? That's just a ten-year-old kid! Don't you think you're overdoing it?"

Ethan: "Not at all. He seems to be having the time of his life, and he's asleep now."

Juliet: "Not at all you are not insane, or not at all you are not overdoing it?"

Ethan: "I'm pretty sure it's both."

Ben: "All right. We should keep up the pretense of the cops and robbers game as long as possible. Ethan, take Walt to the first cage you see in the fake village and lock him in. Don't let him see where the village is."

Ethan: "Got it."

Ben: "The rest of us will put on the plain brown clothes, and act like we're more survivors who have adapted. Bea, do you have all the tests prepared?"

Bea: "Yes. I'll be ready tomorrow."

Ben: "And Juliet, since you seem to be so worried that we might harm the boy, I think it best that you check in on him periodically to make sure he is okay."

Juliet: "That's fine with me. That will keep me occupied until I get a chance to meet more interesting characters."


	24. Disorientation

Author's Note: This chapter includes a modified version of a transcript from lostpedia.

* * *

Dawn breaks, and Walt wakes to find that during the night he has acquired a chestful of dirt. He yawns, and finds he is gagged. He tries to brush the dirt off his front side, and finds he can't get up thanks to the handcuffs. He remembers where he is.

_Ethan's still asleep. Now I can escape._

Walt rolls around until his hands are on the end of the rope tied to the tree. He can't see what he's doing, but thanks to Locke's lessons Walt manages to untie the knot in a few minutes. He swings his feet around, and sees that the knot tying his lower legs together is in front of him. _How can I reach that with my hands behind my back?_ Walt pushes up against the tree and manages to stand up, and then hop a few steps before falling down. _I need to cut that rope with something sharp. Can I get into Ethan's pack?_ Walt looks toward Ethan, who has woken up as Walt has made some noise. It is hard for Ethan not to laugh out loud when he sees the bound and gagged Walt hopping around. Ethan grins evilly, which Walt takes as being in character.

Ethan: "So the prisoner tried to escape?"

Walt nods. There is no point in denying it.

Ethan: "We'll have to do something about that." With great strength, Ethan takes the free end of the rope, and ties it to a branch as high as he can reach, suspending Walt upside-down. Ethan seizes Walt's shoulders, pulls him outward, and then gives him a violent spin as he pushes Walt to the side. This leaves Walt's body revolving around the point where the rope is tied to the branch while simultaneously spinning rapidly.

Walt: _Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_ Walt likens the experience to an amusement park ride. His body rises as the rope twists and shortens, and then his body lowers as the rope twists as far as it can and then uncoils in the opposite direction. He revolves in ever decreasing circles until friction finally wins four minutes later. Walt is finally still, but he is hopelessly dizzy, seeing the upside-down ground whirl rapidly in his vision, and is positively giddy.

Ethan puts his hands on his hips and regards the helpless almost naked handcuffed and gagged upside-down boy with mock contempt. He sneers "So do you promise not to try to escape again?"

In a gesture of playful defiance Walt puffs out his chest, and then shakes his head. Ethan is surprised, but the insolent prisoner needs to be taught a lesson. Ethan seizes Walt by the shoulders again, and has a thought: _Is the boy really enjoying this?_ Consequently, Ethan spins and revolves Walt in the opposite direction as before. Four minutes later Walt finally winds down, and the opposite directions of the spinnings leave him not dizzy at all, but still thoroughly giddy. Ethan removes the gag.

Walt: "That was fun! Can we do that again?"

Ethan is getting exasperated: "No! We have to get you to jail so you can begin your sentence."

Walt is slightly disappointed but then is realistic. "Okay."

Ethan cuts Walt down and unties his feet, and rubs his ankles to restore circulation, as Ethan knows that Ben wants Walt in good physical condition. Ethan holds a bottle of fruit juice to Walt's mouth and feeds him a banana, and Ethan has a similar quick breakfast. Then they resume their march to Othersville.

* * *

Back at the beach camp, Jack tries to take charge.

Jack: "Now I know John said we should all go but that isn't necessary."

Sawyer: "You mean you want a bigger share of the good food and facilities for yourself?"

Jack: "No! I mean …"

Sayid: "Forget it Jack, everyone who wants to go should. I've been thinking, and it only takes a few seconds to push those buttons. That's a small price to pay for the accommodations."

Shannon: "Sayid is so adorable when he's right."

Jack sees he won't win this argument. "All right then, we should divide into two-person teams."

Rose: "Am I going to be a part of this?"

Sayid: "It depends on whether you're needed to make an even number. Claire's baby doesn't count, as he is too young to be entrusted with this. Let's see … with Ethan and Walt gone, you make fourteen. So yes, you'll be a part of this."

Jack: "Okay then, now how are we going to make the teams?"

Jin puts his arms around Sun. "We are together now."

Sun looks at Michael, but reconfirms that he is overly obsessed with the raft, and Jin is treating her much better. "Yes we are."

Shannon: "I'm pairing up with Sayid."

Sayid: "Everyone already knows that."

Charlie: "I'll stay with Claire. That Ethan has abandoned her at a critical time."

Claire: "Ethan didn't abandon me; he's just keeping Walt occupied for a few days. Ethan would be great in one of those 'Big Brother' programs. But you have tried the hardest to be nice to me, and you've been clean for weeks, so okay."

Jack: "So Kate, who do you want to be your partner?"

Kate looks between Jack and Sawyer. "I don't think I can decide that just yet."

The remaining passengers look around, not sure with whom they want to be partners.

Hurley: "Well, the audience didn't come up with suggestions for pairings, but how about this idea? We have a closest to the pin contest – everyone takes one golf shot at a target, and the closest two are partners and get the next shift after the pairs we already established, and then the next two, and so on."

Sawyer: "That's a crazy idea, Walrus."

Hurley: "Don't call me crazy!"

Sawyer: _He was supposed to be insulted by "Walrus."_ "Sorrrr-eee, Mr. Sensitive."

Jack: "Stop it you two. That's as a fine an idea as any. Hurley, set it up."

Hurley looks around, and comes up with an idea. He takes one of the logs that has not yet been connected to the raft, and sticks it upright in the hole in the sand in which Walt spent a lot of time in from twelve to two days previously. Hurley and some others fill the rest of the hole with sand.

Michael: "Where did you get that idea?"

Hurley: "From you. Remember when you first tricked Walt into digging that hole? You said it was for a support pole for the raft."

Michael: "Oh right. I'm sure Walt would be happy knowing we found another use for it."

Hurley gets the golf clubs and sets up a tee box around one hundred yards away. It is 108 yards in fact, but he wasn't measuring. "Okay, so the participants in this are Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Michael, myself, and … who did I forget?"

Kate: "Rose."

Hurley: "Oh right, sorry. I'll go first and show you how it's done."

Hurley hits a good shot, only four yards away from the makeshift pin. The others take their turns. Kate goes next, and hits her shot fifteen yards away. Then Sawyer takes a hack and is twenty-three yards off. Michael comes through with a shot sixteen yards away. Rose is not a golfer, and her effort is the worst, forty-two yards off.

Jack goes last, and computes. _How can I be Kate's partner? If I do better than her, it's me and Hurley. If I hit between Kate's and Sawyer's, it'll be me and Mike. And if I'm worse than Sawyer, I'll be with Rose. At least I won't be with Sawyer, but why can't I be with Kate?_

Sawyer: "Come on Doctor Burns, before the patient dies."

Jack does the honorable thing and hits as good a shot as he can. It winds up eight yards from the post.

Hurley: "Okay, the results are in. It's Jack and me, Kate and Michael, and Sawyer and Rose."

Sawyer and Rose look at each other in disbelief.

Sawyer: "Are trades possible? No disrespect, it's just that I think Miss Daisy deserves someone other than me."

Jack: "We agreed to this, so let's just try it around. If we agree, we can do something else next time."

Everybody goes to the hatch.

* * *

Ethan and Walt get close to the sonic fence. Ethan takes out the bandanna that he used to gag Walt, but this time blindfolds Walt with it.

Ethan: "We're close, and I can't let you see exactly where the jail is and how to get to it."

Walt: "You didn't ask me if I was willing to be blindfolded?"

Ethan has been following Ben's orders, but has a good reply. "I thought you would be insulted. I know by now that you're one tough dude, and the way you behaved before, trying to escape, you can't expect me to go easy on you."

Walt: "You're right, I would have been insulted. You did the right thing. This is the best game of cops and robbers ever."

Ethan: "Thank you. But you're still not getting off easy. Now march."

Walt laughs. "You kind of have to lead the way since I can't see."

Ethan takes Walt by the arm and walks to the security fence. Ethan punches in the code and they cross. Ethan then resets the fence, and they go to an isolated cage, about two meters cube. Ethan removes the blindfold. "Welcome to your new home."

Walt: "Cool! Awesome jail. How'd you know it was here?"

Ethan pushes Walt inside the cage, and locks the door with a padlock. "Prisoners don't ask the questions. Now I'm going to get a key for those handcuffs, and then you're going to be interrogated."

Walt: "Okay. It's not like I can do anything about it. Thanks for going to all the trouble to make this a realistic cops and robbers game."

Ethan leaves Walt alone in the otherwise empty cage. Walt examines his new accommodations. The bars are solid, and far too close to slip through with his arms locked behind his back. He excitedly bounces up and down on his toes in anticipation of how the game will continue. After he has been alone for fifteen minutes, the smile disappears from his face and he is struck by a thought.

_What am I doing? I let myself get locked in a cage in the middle of nowhere in nothing but a tiny boarskin loincloth and handcuffs. Am I crazy?_ Walt fiddles with the handcuffs, but can't improve his situation. Hegets apprehensive, and worries that he has made a big error. _I must look ridiculous. I'm so glad no one can see me; this would be so embarrassing._

As a matter of fact, Walt is on display by a hidden camera mounted in a nearby tree. Ethan goes to a wooden hut designated for him, and changes into plain, but unripped, brown clothes. He then goes to a building that has monitors, and makes his report to Ben.

Ethan: "We made it, but it was tough. The kid's happy-go-lucky attitude is really getting to me. We have to be careful; he has some escape artist in him. He actually untied the rope around the tree with his hands cuffed behind his back."

Ben: "Impressive. Maybe something that John Locke taught him. I trust you controlled your temper?"

Ethan: "Well, I hung him upside-down from a branch and spun him real hard to teach him a lesson. My excuse was to remain in character for cops and robbers."

Ben: "Ethan! You have to be careful with the boy. He must not be damaged for our tests."

Ethan chuckles: "Damaged? I think not. He got a second dose when he indicated he wouldn't stop trying to escape, but it turns out he liked it, and wanted more. I had to cut him loose and bring him here before it got too crazy."

Ben: "Very well. Remember our story that we're survivors from another part of the plane, and have settled at this location. Here, one of these keys should unlock those cuffs. Bring him some fish biscuits and water. We'll soften him up some, let him stew in the cage for a couple hours, and then see what we can find out from him."

Ethan takes the keys, and gets some fish biscuits and a couple water bottles. He takes them to Walt's outdoor cell.

Ethan: "Walter, stand with you back to the wall so I can unlock your cuffs."

Walt is relieved to see Ethan arrive, after having been alone half an hour. Walt obliges, holding his hands behind him between two bars, and Ethan finds a key that unlocks the cuffs. Walt immediately rubs his shoulders.

Walt: "Wow! Thanks, my muscles were really starting to ache."

Ethan: "Don't get used to it. You're a very dangerous and clever criminal, and you'll have to put those handcuffs back on when you're transported to interrogation. But we're giving you a break; that won't be for a couple hours. In the meantime, you get something to eat."

Walt: "Bread and water?"

Ethan: "Actually it's water and fish biscuits. They have protein, and we want you to be healthy. It's good for you muscles, and I'm sure you'd like to be as strong as me some day."

Walt flexes his less than impressive biceps. "You know, I'm on a growth spurt now, but there's still a way to go."

Ethan can't stifle a sarcastic laugh. "Right. Now place the water bottles and plate outside the cell when you're finished. We can't have you with any possible weapons."

Walt: "What happens if I don't?"

Ethan: "The interrogation can wait another day. You'll get solitary confinement."

Walt: "Okay, I'll get rid of the potential weapons. But you keep saying "we." Who else is out here?"

Ethan: "There were other people who survived the plane crash, from a different part of the plane, and they've been living here, and want to stay here."

Walt: "So that's where your new clothes came from?"

Ethan: "Yes, they were able to make simple clothes when their old clothes wore out."

Walt: "Can you make a prisoner's uniform for me?"

Ethan is getting annoyed at all the questions. "We're not going to waste our scarce resources on scum like you."

Walt laughs. "It's so neat when you talk like that to me."

Ethan is getting more irritated. "I'm being serious. You can wear what you were arrested in, and you can sleep here tonight."

Walt smiles: "Great job, you sound just like a real tough cop. But how did you find out about these other people?"

Ethan has had enough: "Again, the prisoner does not ask the questions. See you later." Ethan leaves Walt in solitary confinement.

Walt eats a fish biscuit and drinks one of the water bottles, and investigates his home. It is a relief to have his hands free, and he pulls on all the bars of the cage. None of them yield, and he jumps and catches two bars on the ceiling. He pulls on them, but they don't budge. He swings from bar to bar, testing them all, but isn't too surprised when they all prove solid. A thought suddenly strikes him. _I must look like a monkey in a cage at the zoo!_

Realizing he may have lost some dignity, Walt drops to the ground. He eats another fish biscuit, and then tries to slip sideways through the bars. He can get an arm or a leg through, but _darn, my chest is too big. If my growth spurt hadn't started I could get out of here._

Temporarily defeated, Walt eats the last of the fish biscuits and drinks the second bottle of water. He puts the plate the biscuits had been on and the bottles through the bars of the cage. He grabs two of the bars and looks outside, trying to get his bearings. _I must be around twenty kilometers north, or north-northeast, of the beach camp. So what? It would be so neat if I could escape and get back, and show off to everybody. These guys are so thoughtful setting up this excellent cops and robbers game for me. Making it a good challenge to escape makes it all the more exciting._ Walt can't control his excitement and bounces up and down while holding onto the bars, unable to wipe a large grin off his face.

* * *

At the easy-entrance hatch door, Jack rings the doorbell, but this time ducks out of the way, letting the seltzer water squirt Charlie.

Charlie splutters: "What did you do that for?"

Jack: "Because you'd better be alert if you're going to be on button pushing duty. Also, it would have been ruder to squirt Claire or Rose, and everybody else has seen it."

Boone opens the door and everyone goes in. Claire, Charlie, and Rose get the tour.

Jack: "We figured out the shifts. We'll have Claire and Charlie as one pair, and Shannon and Sayid as the other from eight a.m. to four p.m. Then it's Sun and Jin, and Hurley and me, from four p.m. to midnight. Then Kate and Michael, and Sawyer and Rose, from midnight to eight a.m. Then it's back to John and Boone, and Claire and Charlie, and so on. People can stay during the night when their shift is over so they don't have to walk through the jungle at night."

Desmond: "Where does that leave me?"

Jack: "Oops, I forgot about you during these assignments."

Rose: "Does that mean I'm not needed? Desmond can take my place?"

Jack: "Maybe Desmond should be a free agent for a little while. I'd like to examine him; I can't see how he didn't go crazy having to wake up every 105 or whatever minutes for two and a half years alone."

Claire's baby starts crying.

Sawyer: "Wonderful. Now we're going to have a non-stop Crying Machine."

The baby stops crying at the sound of Sawyer's voice.

Claire: "That was amazing. Whenever he cries, I'd like you to talk to him."

Sawyer: "What? Aren't you afraid I'd be a bad influence on him?"

Claire: "I think you have a soft spot for little kids."

Sawyer doesn't want his reputation damaged. "I left Walt tied to a tree a month ago because I thought he deserved it."

Claire: "But Walt was so much better after that."

Locke and Michael nod their heads in agreement.

Desmond: "Say, what is the little bugger's name?"

Claire: "I haven't named him yet."

Desmond: "Desmond is a right good name."

Claire: "Ahh! I've had it with all these suggestions. I think I'll just look at a list of names and pick what comes up first."

Desmond: "There are lots of books here, which is good since I like to read." Desmond goes over to a bookshelf. "Here's one with lists of names, boys and girls."

Claire: "Give me that!" Claire's hormones are still a bit out of whack, and she isn't as nice as she normally is. She grabs the book from Desmond, opens it up, looks at the first name, and announces,

"Aaron. That's it; my baby's name is Aaron."

Charlie: "You mean you picked the name because it came up first in an alphabetical list?"

Claire: "What's wrong with that? This way I don't have to look at more names and agonize over the decision."

The beeping starts, startling everyone except Desmond.

Charlie: "I got it, it's my turn." Charlie enters the numbers successfully. "That's it? Now we don't have to do anything to do for 104 minutes?"

Desmond: "That's right."

Sayid: "Wait a minute. How do we now this really is necessary to save the world? This could be just an exercise in futility."

Desmond: "Once I almost didn't get the numbers entered in time, and an earthquake started, and things flew all over, like in a powerful magnetic field. But there is a movie that explains it. Why don't we all watch it?"

Shannon: "Oh goody, I haven't seen a movie in a long time."

Boone: "I don't think it's exactly a feature film."

Shannon: "Who cares? Hey, do we have popcorn? We can't have a movie without popcorn."

Desmond: "I believe there's some in the pantry."

Hurley: "I'll help you look."

Shannon and Hurley enter the pantry, and Hurley quickly locates several bags of popcorn. Hurley heats it in a microwave, and Shannon gets some bowls to pour it in.

Shannon: "Okay, we're ready."

Desmond sets up the projector, turns off the lights, and rolls the film. A man on the film speaks.

"Welcome. I am Dr. Marvin Candlewax, and this is the orientation film for Station Three of the Dharpa Initiative.

The Dharpa Initiative was created in 1970, and is the idea of Geraldo and Karmen DeGroovy. They dreamed up a humongous research compound where scientists and free-thinkers from all over could pursue research in lots of fancy sciences. The funding of recluse billionaire Alvin Hansolo made their dream of this research facility a reality.

You and your partner are currently located in Station Three, or The Swan, and will be for the next 540 days, which coincidentally is five times the number of minutes for the countdown timer. Station Three was originally constructed as a laboratory, where scientists could work to understand the unique electromagnetic fluctuations emanating from this sector of the island. Not long after the experiments began, however, there was an incident, and since that time, the following protocol has been observed:

Every 108 minutes, the button must be pushed. From the moment the alarm sounds, you will have four minutes to enter the code into the computer. When the alarm sounds, either you or your partner must input the code. It is highly recommended that you and your partner take alternating shifts, because it would be really stupid for both of you to sleep through the alarm at the same time. It is of the utmost importance, that when the alarm sounds, the code be entered correctly and in a timely fashion, or there will be another incident, you will be exterminated, and the world might end.

Now do not attempt to use the computer for anything else or …"

There is a splice in the tape, and it resumes,

"This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Four … three … two … one … just kidding, I always wanted to say that.

Until your replacements arrive, the future of the project and the world is in your hands. On behalf of the DeGroovys, Alvin Hansolo, and all of us at the Dharpa Initiative, thank you, and namaste."

The movie ends, and Desmond turns the lights back on.

Charlie: "Whooooaa, what a trip."

Boone: "I guess that's definitive. We have to do this."

Shannon: "I don't think this film won any Academy Awards."

Locke: "So Desmond, you thought we might be your replacements?"

Desmond: "Aye. I don't know what happened since we can't communicate with the outside on these computers. There could have been an accident with them. But you all will do fine."

Michael: "What happens if we use that computer for something else? You think it would be able to handle e-mail or instant messaging."

Hurley: "Or games."

Desmond: "Don't you dare. You heard what the man said; we can't risk it. And there are some games here. There's a ping pong table, some board games, and some decks of cards. Had to have some diversions being cooped up in here all the time."

Hurley: "What board games?"

Charlie: "Isn't this where you ask the audience for suggestions?"

Hurley: "That idea might be getting overworked. It's hard to tell."

Claire: "Desmond, is there material for diapers here?"

Desmond: "Not really, just the material in the changes of clothes for the chaps who are supposed to work here. I guess that means five of you could have the shirts."

Boone: "How would we decide who gets them?"

Kate: "They are all men's shirts. I think we should save one in case of an emergency _Hurley_ and the others should go to the less secure guys, those who aren't all that confident of their masculinity, and if there's anything left over, we can cut up the rest to make diapers for Aaron."

Claire: "Why, how thoughtful of you, Kate. I hope there's enough left so I don't have to be washing diapers continuously. So who will it be?"

The guys shuffle their feet, none of them wanting to admit to a lack of masculinity and depriving Claire and Aaron of extra diapers. Hurley stares at the floor, while Locke fiddles with his boarskin vest.

Kate: "Great, it's settled then. Desmond, keep your shirt for an emergency. Claire, I'll help you cut the other clothes into the right size. "

Claire: "Thanks guys, you're all so thoughtful."

Claire and Kate get to work on making diapers for Aaron out of the spare clothes with the Dharpa insignia on them.


	25. The Long Cops and Robbers Con

The passengers continue to discuss how to best make use of the resources of the Swan Hatch.

Sayid: "We should take an inventory of this place. There may be something useful for Michael's raft."

Desmond: "You're planning to sail away on a raft? It won't work."

Michael: "Why not?"

Desmond: "I tried that with my sailboat after I first landed on this island. The current kept bringing me back."

Charlie: "Bummer."

Sayid: "Is your boat is still seaworthy?"

Desmond: "Not any more. It was the last time I sailed it, but it washed up pretty hard on some rocks and was badly damaged. It would be a waste of time to repair it. That's when I started exploring the island, and ran into Kelvin."

Sayid: "I still think we should look into it."

Shannon: "Ooooh, who wants to play Twister?"

* * *

In Othersville, Ben discusses plans with Ethan, Bea, and Juliet.

Ben: "Now we know this boy Walt is capable of some unusual things. We have to find out precisely what he is capable of doing. We got a break in that he thinks he is playing cops and robbers, so we will keep up the pretense as long as possible. Ethan, you will bring our guest here to me first, and I will tell him what I want him to hear. Then Bea can perform some tests, and then Juliet can get more information. Is that understood?"

Juliet: "Yes Ben, but …"

Ben: "Henry! Remember my name is Henry Gale!"

Juliet: "Sorry, Henry, I'll remember. As I was saying, I hope it doesn't get too harsh. He is just a child."

Ben: "I forbid it from getting too harsh. He is not to be hurt in any way. The critics would rake us over the coals, and our sponsors would drop us like a flaming arrow. That doesn't mean it won't be uncomfortable at times, as we need some drama, but it is vitally important to determine the full extent of his abilities, and we need him in top shape for that."

Juliet: "That's good to hear."

Bea: "Has he gotten proper nourishment?"

Ethan: "Yes, I gave him some fish biscuits and water, and he had plenty of fruit before that."

Juliet: "Is that all? We can do better than that."

Ben: "That isn't important, but if it bothers you so much, why don't you make something to eat? Bea will let you know when Walt is ready for you."

Juliet: "That sounds fine to me." Juliet leaves to go the hut assigned to her, and prepares a meal.

Ben: "Ethan, bring Walt to Room 42. Danny Pickett will be there in case there is any trouble."

Ethan leaves to get Walt.

Ben: "All right Bea, so first we will find out to what degree young Walt can be brainwashed."

Bea: "Right. What should I impress upon him?"

Ben: "It may be more effective if you don't tell me ahead of time, and then I see if I can determine what it is."

Bea: "Okay." Bea leaves to get the materials she will need from her hut.

* * *

Ethan gets to the cage, where Walt has been waiting for two hours.

Ethan: "The warden will see you now. Put these on."

Ethan tosses Walt the handcuffs through the bars of the cage. Excited over the prospect of something new happening, Walt promptly snaps one link around his right wrist, then swings his hands behind his back, fumbles around for a few seconds, and then gets the other link around his left wrist.

Walt: "The prisoner is ready for transport."

Ethan unlocks the cage door and grabs Walt by the arm.

Ethan: "You didn't have to cuff yourself behind your back. I can manage you from here."

Walt: "Oh, I thought I was supposed to. Should we go back and put the cuffs in front?"

Ethan: "Not worth it, it's not that far."

As Ethan and Walt walk to the building with the various numbered rooms in it, Bea gets a look at Walt for the first time, and her heart melts. Walt is the son she never could have. She is mesmerized by his athletic grace, his developing muscles glistening in the sunlight.

Bea: _He's so beautiful, so handsome. An absolute work of art. I want to see as much of him as possible as he grows up to be a man. But I have to be careful around Ben. How am I going to do this?_

Ethan marches Walt into the room where Ben is sitting behind a desk. The only other piece of furniture in the room is a heavy wooden chair.

Ethan: "Here is the prisoner as ordered."

Ben smiles, and extends his right hand. Walt is unable to shake the proffered hand for the usual reason.

Ben: "Ethan, take those handcuffs off."

Ethan does so, and Ben and Walt shake hands.

Ben: "Sit down, young man."

Walt does so, and puzzled, asks, "Can you tell me what is going on?"

Ben: "Certainly. Let me introduce myself. My name is Henry Gale. Several other passengers from the tail portion of Oceanic Flight 815 survived the crash, and found this abandoned settlement. We like it here, and have made it our home. We only just found out that there were more survivors when one of our group ran into your friend Ethan. It would be great if you decided to join us."

Walt: "I do like living on this island, but I have to go home with my father pretty soon."

Ben: "So I understand. Ethan has told me all about it, Walt. We're touched by your story, and we want to give you the best cops and robbers game possible. You deserve it."

Walt: "Thank you. I couldn't believe that jail you have. That was so cool."

Ben: "Well, it was here when we found this place, and these houses. We were quite lucky."

Walt: "I guess we were."

Ben: "Now for the game. In order to make it as good as possible, my friends and I are going to be in character all the time. Do you know what that means?"

Walt: "Yes. It means you'll pretend to be guards and stuff no matter what I say or do."

Ben: "Good. Now for the next two days, we will remain in character. Are you ready to continue the game?"

Walt smiles broadly. "Yes, Warden Gale."

Ben gives Walt a final smile, and then Ben's face changes. "Mr. Lloyd, I understand you are a convicted arsonist. As all of our buildings are made of wood, we can't risk letting you loose at all. You shall be under close guard, restrained, or locked up at all times."

Walt: "Yes sir, I understand."

Ben: "Good. Mr. Rom, bring in Ms. Klugh for processing of the prisoner."

Ben and Ethan get up and exit the room. Ethan goes to get Bea, while Ben waits outside the door.

Ben: "Lloyd, this is Mr. Pickett. He knows what to do if you should try to escape or be uncooperative."

Bea arrives with a bag the size of a large purse, and shuts the door. She takes a seat behind the desk. Walt is even more beautiful to her up close, and she wants to preserve the image.

Bea: "Walt, my name is Bea Klugh, and I have several tests I would like you to take."

Walt: _Tests? What kind of tests? I don't want to take tests. Oh, I get it; this is part of the game._ "I'm not taking your stupid tests."

Bea frowns, then gets up, and calls through the door. "Rom, Pickett, the prisoner is not cooperating."

Ethan and Danny, who is carrying four pieces of rope, quickly enter. Ethan holds Walt down while Danny efficiently ties Walt's hands and feet to the arms and front legs of the chair.

Walt is impressed. "Wow, you guys are good. Are you going to torture me?"

Without answering, Ethan leaves, and then wheels in a cart with a tape recorder on it.

Walt groans. "Are you going to play 'You All Everybody' until I crack?"

Ethan: "That's already been done. We have something more appropriate, just for you."

Ethan hits the play button, and much to Walt's consternation, hears, "WAAAALLLLLT!" It is Ethan trying to impersonate Michael's voice, which makes it slightly worse.

Walt: "No! You fiends!" Walt struggles violently. He can slide his hands and feet a little, and rock the chair, but there is no way to reach the knots to untie them.  
After hearing the extended version of his name a second time, he pleads, "Okay, I give up; I'll take your tests!"

Ethan turns off the tape recorder. "Should we untie the prisoner?"

Bea is scheming. "Not until he proves he can be trusted. Dismissed."

Ethan and Danny leave Room 42.

Walt: "How can I take a test when I'm tied to this chair?"

Bea: "The first test is one of observation and concentration." Bea pulls out a silver heptagonal medallion on a string, with the Dharpa logo, consisting of a myriad of intricate patterns, on it. She demands, "Tell me what you see." She lets the medallion swing to and fro.

Walt gazes at the medallion, which sparkles as it rotates and oscillates. "A heptagon? Who uses seven-sided figures for anything? It's always either six or eight."

Bea: "This was left behind apparently by something called the Dharpa Initiative, and it seems to be their design of choice. Now relax. You had a long hard trip getting here, and you must be tired. Just let the light of this medallion fill your mind with its beauty and brilliance."

Walt yawns, and slumps as far as he can in his chair. "Yeah, I am kind of tired." His eyes follow the swinging medallion, but he has trouble keeping them open.

Bea: "You are falling asleep, Walt. Deep, wonderful sleep."

Walt completely falls into a deep trance. "Aaaaslleeeeep."

Bea lets Walt sit still for fifteen minutes, and loves just looking at him. Her excuse if needed is that she needs to be sure Walt is sufficiently rested. Then she speaks: "Walt, you like wearing that loincloth. If you wear any more than that, you will become severely overheated. It will be far too hot for you. Do you understand?"

Walt mumbles, "Too hot."

Bea: "Good. And you do not object to being tied up. You like to show off your escape artist skills."

Walt: "I know, I am an escape artist."

Bea: _Maybe that last part wasn't all that necessary._ "Now Walt, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up, and have no memory of this test or of being asleep. You will think that we're ready for the first test. Do you understand?"

Walt: "Understand."

Bea puts the medallion away, and snaps her fingers, and Walt snaps out of it. He is confused, and blinks his eyes, and sits up straight.

Walt: "So are we going to do the first test now?"

Bea: "We've decided that the tests can wait until tomorrow. Doctor Burke will see you now."

Bea gets up and leaves Walt alone.

Walt suddenly realizes, _This is my chance to escape!_ He slides his hands back and forth along the arms of the chairs, but there is not enough room to pull his hands through the knotted loops in the ropes. He twists and pulls on all four ropes, desperately trying to get a hand or foot free. He is straining mightily when Juliet walks in.

Juliet is appalled at the sight of the struggling barely clad boy tied to the chair. She reaches down to untie the knot around Walt's right wrist.

Juliet: "How could they do this to you?"

Walt is disappointed he couldn't get loose in time: "I was uncooperative to Bea Klugh, so Rom and Pickett tied me up to teach me a lesson."

Juliet: "That's terrible! There was no need to do that. Are you hurt?"

Walt: "No! And …it's not that bad, Doctor Burke."

Juliet: "Please call me Juliet. And what do you mean?"

Walt: "It's … kind of fun trying to escape. A lot of the time I've been bored out of my skull. Playing fetch with my dog, reading the same comic book over and over. If I couldn't walk around the woods, it could get boring fast. Escape artists have to start sometime, and lots of boys do this to each other. I bet you never had any brothers."

Juliet: "I see, and you're right. I just have one sister. Well, at least they could have given you something decent to wear. Who would leave a boy tied up in a loincloth?"

Walt: "Let's see, John, Vincent, Boone, Charlie, Shannon, Sawyer, Dad, Ethan, and Bea now. But some of them tried to untie me from a tree."

Juliet shakes her head in disgust.

Walt: "This loincloth is decent. And it would be wrong to waste your precious resources on scum like me."

Juliet: "You're not scum! Who called you that?"

Walt: "Ethan."

Juliet: "I think Ethan may be insane."

Walt: "Ethan's been very friendly to me the last couple days."

Juliet: "Maybe. In any case, this isn't the beach. We dress in a civilized manner in public."

Walt: "Okay. Back at the beach, practically everybody lost some of their clothes, and I lost all of mine. I got used to this."

Juliet manages to get the first knot undone. "You'll have to tell me about these friends of yours. Boy, that was a tough knot."

Walt shakes his right hand. "Could you please let me untie myself the rest of the way? I really only need one hand free."

Juliet gets the idea that Walt doesn't want her help. "Okay, I'll find you some clothes in the meantime." Juliet leaves to get clothes from another room. There is nothing in Walt's size, so she gets the smallest adult size shirt and pants available. She returns, passing Ethan and Danny guarding the door. Walt unties his left hand, and then uses both hands to untie his feet. He is panting from the effort.

Walt stands up. "Aren't you afraid I'm going to try to escape now?"

Juliet: "That would be unwise. I'm a martial arts expert. Now I'd just like to talk with you, but if you prefer solitary confinement for the rest of the day, that can be arranged."

There is something in Juliet's manner which puts Walt at ease.

Walt: "Okay. I'm not allowed to hit girls anyway."

Juliet hands Walt the plain brown clothes meant for him. The pants don't stay up until Walt uses one of the ropes as a belt. Then he puts on the shirt, which comes down to his knees.

Juliet: "There, you look great. How does that feel?"

Walt: "Weird."

Juliet: "I'm sure you'll get used to it. Now sit down, and let's talk about the people you've lived with for the last month and a half."

Walt sits down. "Okay. First there's my Dad Michael. He just got custody of me before the flight, and I thought he was a total jerk, but then I got to know him better, and he's really a great guy. It was me who was a brat at first, but I'm much better now. I just had that one relapse when I burned his first raft."

Juliet: "I see. What does he look like?"

Walt: "Oh, kind of average, I guess. No, actually he's better than that. He's in good shape for someone his age. I hope I look like him when I grow up."

Walt wipes his brow as perspiration starts to appear on his forehead.

Juliet: "Interesting. Now I understand there has been a doctor with you?"

Walt: "Yes, Doctor Jack. That guy has a real hero complex, always trying to save everybody. He also gets upset when he isn't the center of attention."

Juliet: "What does he look like?"

Walt: "Oh, I never really paid attention. I guess he's handsome. Average size, dark hair, oh, he always has a lot of stubble on his face. Some of the men tried using John's knives to shave, but Jack has this look like he always has about four days' growth of beard. Oh, and he also has these funny tattoos, but never talks about them."

Juliet pictures Jack in her mind: "How interesting."

Walt: "But he is a good doctor. Though he does get frustrated when there isn't the right medical stuff, and also gets miffed that this island seems to heal people quickly and that he isn't needed so much."

Juliet: "Have you had an experience where you healed quickly?"

Walt: "Oh sure, after John Locke tied me to a tree, I had these real deep rope burns on my wrists and ankles. And I guess my back must have been scraped up pretty bad. But there really wasn't any medicine for that available, and I healed just fine in a day."

Juliet grimaces. "How could anyone tie a sweet boy lie you to a tree?"

Walt: "I wasn't sweet at the time. I was ungrateful after John made me this nice boarskin loincloth after my dog Vincent ran off with my clothes when I was washing in a stream. I wanted something more to wear, but John had been in a hurry to get me something. Next thing I know, I'm tied to a tree for like six hours."

Juliet: "That's horrible. There must have been a better way of handling that."

Walt: "Maybe, but it worked out for the best. It's not like we can go back in time and change things. The experience made me tough, and gave me a better attitude."

Juliet is doubtful, but Walt is sincere. "How did you get out?"

Walt: "Eventually Hurley tickled me with a feather. His fingers were too fat to untie the knots, but he found this feather, and it turns out my stomach is very ticklish. I wriggled so hard that the rope tying my hands wore through by rubbing against the tree. I'll never forget; I was so mad I felt like killing somebody, and just as I got free, a whole bunch of birds pooped on me."

Juliet: "How … unusual. Have there been any other incidents like this?"

Walt thinks. "Well, it did stop raining right after I was mad at Dad for not looking for Vincent early on. And I was annoyed at Jack for telling me I should come out of the rain on the golf course. And I got pooped on once before when I was first tied to that tree. But that's about it."

Juliet makes a mental note. _Strange things happen when Walt gets very upset._

Walt wipes his forehead again. "Isn't it hot in here?"

Juliet: "No more than usual. Now tell me about more of these people."

Walt: "Well, there's Kate. She can be so innocent and naïve, like knowing nothing about handcuffs, and other times she's strong-willed. She also bounces between Jack and Sawyer a lot. I think she's also responsible for both of them losing their shirts soon after we landed here."

Walt waves his hand in front of his face and tugs at the collar of his shirt. "I'm feeling really hot."

Upon hearing Sawyer's name Juliet can't wait.

Juliet: "The heat is probably your imagination. Now tell me about Sawyer."

Walt: "Sawyer is quite a character. His big thing is giving nicknames to everybody. Lots of nicknames. He's also clever, like a con man. He collected all sorts of things right after the crash, and got a big stash."

Juliet: "And what does he look like?"

Walt: "Tall, dirty blond hair, and a good build. It's impossible not to notice how all the women like looking at him, and he knows it."

Walt feels very uncomfortable. He staggers to his feet. "I'm burning up. I need something cold. Can I lie down somewhere?"

Juliet: "I need to hear more about Sawyer …" then Juliet realizes Walt is ill, and remembers Ben's warning. "There's a cot in the next room, this way."

Juliet takes Walt by the arm, and opens the door, where Ethan, Danny, and Bea are waiting.

Bea is alarmed at Walt's appearance. "What happened?"

Juliet: "I don't know, he just started complaining about the heat!"

Bea: "Hurry, into this room." Bea and Juliet drag Walt into the next room, while Ethan and Danny are close behind, expecting a trick.

Bea: "Walt, tell me how you feel?"

Walt: "Hot … so hot …"

They get to the next room.

Juliet: "I'm getting a damp towel." Juliet rushes off.

Bea: "Walt, if you're too hot, I think you better take that shirt off."

Walt does, and sits on the cot.

Bea: "Is that better?"

Walt's breathing settles down. "Yes, it's a lot better, but I still feel warm. I got an idea." Walt undoes his belt rope and lets the pants slide off. He takes a couple deep breaths. "I think I'm fine now."

Juliet returns with some damp towels. "Is he doing any better?"

Bea: "Much. It appears that he's gotten so accustomed to wearing nothing but that loincloth for the past month that any additional clothing makes him uncomfortably hot. We'd better leave him as he is while he is here."

Juliet: "That's quite a reaction, but I guess that makes sense. We can't have Be...Henry mad at us. But I want to make sure he is all right."

Bea: "Go ahead; I have to report to Henry."

Bea leaves and goes to another room in the building, where Ben has been pacing, worried that a slight pain in his back might be something serious.

Bea: "Good news. I performed the experiment, and the boy is readily hypnotized or brainwashed. We can control him easily."

Ben: "Good. Then he won't object to staying here as long as necessary and be more conducive to further tests."

Bea: "Right. And I have a favor to ask. I would like to be responsible for Walt's care. He could live in my house and … I may as well come to the point. I'd like to adopt him."

Ben: "That's very magnanimous of you. We have to keep up the pretense of cops and robbers another day, so he has to spend the night in the cage, but after that, yes, I like your idea."

* * *

Juliet is fussing over Walt. She gets him to lie down on the cot, and places one of the damp towels on his forehead.

Juliet: "Are you sure you're feeling better?"

Walt: "Yes, I'm fine now. Though I'm wondering, since you're a doctor, am I going to get sick if I wear regular clothes for the rest of my life?"

Juliet: "Actually I'm a fertility doctor, but I can't believe that would happen when you move to a cooler climate." _I wonder if all the other passengers will have the same reaction. Or did Bea do something sneaky?_

After a few seconds, Walt comments, "It is a little stuffy in here."

Juliet: "I imagine you feel that way because you're used to being outside all the time."

Juliet dabs Walt's front side with another towel, and gets him to turn over on his stomach so she can do the same on his back.

Walt: "That feels good. Oh, I get it; you must be the good cop."

Juliet has forgotten about the cops and robbers game until now when she is reminded. She thinks about how best to get back in character. "So you think you have me figured out?"

She continues to rub Walt's back while she thinks, and suddenly tickles his sides. Walt is taken completely by surprise and jumps off the cot to get away.

Walt: "AH HA HA HA! How could you do that?"

Juliet: "That was a medical test to see if you have recovered. As prison doctor, this is my job. I pronounce you healthy enough to continue as before. And a word of advice, don't underestimate me."

Walt: "That's three words."

At that point Ethan walks in with instructions from Ben. "Dr. Burke, Warden Gale will see you now. Prisoner, put these on. I'm taking you back to your cell."

Ethan tosses Walt the handcuffs, and Walt snaps them on in front this time.

Walt: "Bye Doctor, it's been cool playing with you."

Juliet measures her response to Walt in front of Ethan. Since Walt just gave a smart-aleck reply, Juliet can be tougher in her response. "That's enough; I want no more trouble out of you. Guard, take him away."

Walt sees a tiny smile from Juliet, and knows she isn't really angry with him. He confidently strides to the cage with Ethan holding firmly onto his arm, and calmly lets Ethan lock him inside. Ethan then removes the handcuffs through the bars.

* * *

Juliet goes to the room Ben is in and gives a detailed report of everything that happened.

Ben: "Great work, Juliet, you uncovered a lot of useful information, even if you didn't realize it."

Juliet: "But I didn't find out everything about Sawyer; Walt was in the middle of describing him when he overheated."

Ben: "You can continue the questioning tomorrow. Or interrogation. Don't lose focus; he still thinks this is cops and robbers."

Juliet: "I know. I just think it's horrible that you keep him locked up in a cage."

Ben: "We don't have much choice. Like you observed, he felt it was stuffy inside, so he's better off sleeping outside. And we can't let him escape now. You found out some of how his abilities work. We need to know everything there is to know. It's conceivable that he could save the world."

Juliet: "I think you're exaggerating. If he's that powerful, he should be able to escape from a cage or being tied to a chair."

Ben: "There is a lot we don't know about him yet. Now you said you were making a meal for him?"

Juliet: "Yes, it's ready. You can't give him only fish biscuits."

Ben: "I'll have Ethan bring it to him. We can say it's because of good behavior. And remember why you came here."

Juliet: "To meet some new men. The ones around me were boring. Oh, and to help with this fertility thing."

Ben ogles Juliet.

Juliet: "Men closer to me in age!"

* * *

Later, Ethan gets the meal of stew and vegetables from Juliet and takes it to Walt.

Ethan: "Here, you get this for good behavior."

Walt: "Thank you."

Walt eats the meal and places the plate and cup outside the cage, so that he won't be able to break the plate and use it as a weapon. Ethan picks up the plate and cup and leaves. Alone in his prison as the sun sets, Walt lies down on his back and stretches out with his head resting in his hands. He reflects on the day's events.

_What a great day!_

* * *

Back at the Swan, Shannon is showing off the game she found among several on a shelf.

Sayid: "What is Twister?"

Boone: "It's this game where you put your hands and feet on colored circles. Shan and I played it a lot growing up. She isn't very good; she was always falling on me."

Shannon: "Don't listen to him. It's not like he made any effort to avoid me. Come on Sayid, it will be fun. But we need more than two to play this."

Locke: "Hey, here's a chess set. Anyone want to take on the wily veteran?"

Jack: "I'll give it a go."

Locke and Jack set up the chessboard and being playing.

Jin is confused about Twister. "Sun, what are they talking about?"

Sun: "This is a game that can be educational. It teaches you words like 'left' and 'right,' and 'hand' and 'foot,' and colors. You follow the instructions, and try not to fall. We haven't been involved in much lately, so why don't we try this?"

Jin: "Okay, my darling." Jin holds his breath to see if he used the right word, and is relieved when Sun reacts well. _'Darling' and 'dudette' both have seven letters, two syllables, and start with 'D.' I hope I don't confuse them in the future._

Hurley: "I volunteer to be the spinner. Here we go!" Hurley spins the spinner. "Left hand green!"

After several turns, Sayid wins when the beeper goes off, startling Shannon into falling onto Jin, and causing him to lose his balance and knock over Sun. Charlie enters the numbers and the timer resets.

Jin: "Sorry dear. Strange game. 'Educational' is an interesting word to describe it."

Sun: "No problem. It was fun to do something different for a change."

Claire and Kate finish making diapers out of the changes of clothes.

Claire: "I'm hungry. And so is Aaron."

Claire and Kate go to the pantry, where they find Sawyer.

Sawyer: "Would you look at this place? I hate to say it, but it puts my stash to shame."

Charlie trails after Claire. "Can I get you anything?"

Claire: "I can find things for myself." She rummages around, and then exclaims, "Peanut butter!" Claire devours half a jar of peanut butter, and then nurses Aaron in the bunk room.

Locke beats Jack in the chess game. Jack is annoyed, and seeks to change the subject.

Jack: "We should get something to eat, and then those who don't have button pushing shifts should get back."

Kate: "Jack, I don't think anyone is paying attention to that schedule. The novelty of this place hasn't worn off yet, and no one wants to leave."

Michael is poking around, looking for useful items for the raft. "There doesn't seem to be much besides provisions, which would be very helpful."

Desmond: "This station wasn't built for sailing or communication. I tell you your raft won't work. But you can take some of the food if you're determined to waste your time."

Michael: "It would be a big waste if I spent all that time building those rafts and then they were never used. That raft is going to sail."


	26. The Whole Lie

The next morning, Ethan gives Walt some fish biscuits and water, and then escorts him from the cage to Room 16 in the same building as the day before. Danny and Bea waiting at the door. In this room there is a heavy white chair whose back is cut out except for the Dharpa logo pattern, and a plain wooden table.

Bea: "Walter, it's time for your testing. Are you going to give us any trouble today?"

Walt thinks about his answer, which gets interpreted as a "yes." Within seconds Ethan and Danny tie him to the chair, with his feet tied to the front chair legs, but leave his arms free. Instead, to restrict his movement they tie ropes around his waist and under his armpits around the back of the chair. The knots are tied behind the chair where he can't reach them. Walt feels something sticky against his back.

Walt: "Hey, you didn't give me a chance to answer."

Bea: "You had time. But I will ask again. These tests require the use of your arms. Are you going to cooperate?"

Walt does not want to hear any more recordings, and is curious about the tests. "I'll cooperate."

Bea: "Good. Now the first test is on history." Bea pushes the table closer to Walt so he can write on it. She hands him a sheet of paper with many questions on it, and a pencil."

Walt: "What?" Walt looks at the paper. "When did Australia gain independence from Great Britain? Why do I have to take this?"

Bea frowns: "We need to know what you know so we can put you in the appropriate work-release program. Now no more questions, or you can listen to the recording for the next hour."

Walt: _She's just staying in character for today. She's good. Nothing to worry about. I don't need to listen to my name being shouted hundreds of times. _"Okay." Walt gets busy on his test. _Now I remember one of the reasons I wanted to stay on this island. I don't have to go to school!_

Danny and Ethan go wait outside. Fifteen minutes later Tom comes by carrying a can of white paint and a paintbrush.

Ethan: "What's with the paint?"

Tom: "Ben asked me to paint the furniture. The last can ran out after I painted the back of the chair in here." Tom steps inside, and is surprised to see Walt.

Bea: "Tom? What are you doing here?"

Tom: "I'm painting the furniture – but why is the boy using that chair? The paint on the back isn't dry yet, and I can't paint the rest of it with him sitting on it."

Bea: "This room was supposed to be clear for the prisoner's handling. Are you sure this is the right room?"

Tom: "Isn't this Room 15 … uh oh … it's 16."

Ethan laughs.

Walt: "You mean there's that funny symbol painted on my back? If you untie me we can wash it off."

Bea: "The prisoner shall not be untied until he has finished all the tests. Then that can be washed off."

Tom: "That paint takes on hour to dry, and then it won't wash off. It's oil-based, and we don't have paint-thinner or turpentine here. It will take about four days to wear off."

Ethan, to Walt: "Ha! You asked about getting a prisoner's uniform. You just got it – that symbol will do nicely."

Walt is in no position to argue. "I guess so."

Tom leaves and goes to Room 15 to paint some furniture in there. Danny and Ethan patrol the corridor, while Bea continues to watch Walt take his test. In another fifteen minutes,

Walt: "There, I finished."

Bea: "Good. Here is the next one, on math."

Walt groans, and looks at the new test and the first question. "Four plus eight plus fifteen plus sixteen plus twenty-three plus forty-two? Are you kidding?"

Bea looks sternly and silently at Walt, who is intimidating to taking the test with no more questions. He finishes that in another half hour.

Walt: "Done. That wasn't too bad. What's next?"

Bea hands Walt some more paper. "Geography."

Walt looks at the new test. "An airplane departs from Sydney at latitude 34 degrees south, longitude 131 degrees east. It flies at a bearing of 42 degrees for six hours, then turns left and flies for two hours. Where does it end up?" Walt ponders, and writes down "An island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean inhabited by crazy messed up people."

Walt perseveres, reminding himself that he is a tough dude and can handle what is being thrown at him. He finishes the latest test. "There, I finished this one."

Bea: "Fine. That will be enough written tests for now."

Walt: "Good. Uh … that wasn't exactly the kind of testing I expected."

Bea: "What did you expect?"

Walt: "Something more physical, like medical tests, or …"

Bea completes Walt's thought. "Or your ability to escape?"

Walt: "Yes. I thought if I could move the knots in these ropes around to the front where I could reach them, I could get loose." Walt holds the rope around his waist, sucks in his stomach, and rotates the rope a little.

Bea: "Very well. Your behavior has been acceptable, so your last test today will be an escape test. But it wouldn't be much of a test if it weren't a challenge."

Walt: "Of course."

Bea steps outside to address Ethan and Danny. "We are done with the written tests. Secure the prisoner's hands to the back legs of the chair."

Walt gets the knot in the rope around his waist closer to the side of the chair when Ethan and Danny grab one hand each, and tie them to the back legs of the chair just below the seat. There is a small strain in Walt's arms, but less than when he was handcuffed behind his back. He is tied so that his fingers can't reach anything, and can only clutch at air.

Bea pushes back the table and sits on the edge to get a better view of her prisoner. "Go ahead, free yourself."

Walt makes a good effort, but cannot pull his hands through the tight loops in the ropes just tied. In fact, he can barely move anything besides his head. Bea watches his muscles straining for fifteen minutes, during which time her desire to adopt Walt intensifies. Then it is time to report to Ben.

Bea: "Well, you did much better on the written tests."

Walt: "Looks like it. What am I doing wrong?"

Bea: "You expect the guard to tell the prisoner how to escape?"

Walt: "My sentence will be over in a few hours, and then I have to go back to the beach camp, so I thought …"

Bea: "Your sentence is not over. I have to see the warden. Doctor Burke will be here shortly. Of course, you may escape before then. Good luck."

Bea smiles for the first time, confusing Walt at first and creeping him out, and then she leaves the room. She meets Ben in another room.

Ben: "How did it go?"

Bea: "Rather well so far. Walt is quite bright, and easily controlled. In my opinion we should go right ahead with our plans."

Ben: "Do you believe you can convince him to live with us and join our community?"

Bea: "Yes I do."

Ben: "Very well. But we'll have to keep a close eye on him until we are sure he can be trusted."

* * *

Back at the Swan station, Michael is looking for tools.

Michael: "Desmond, is it all right if I take this saw, file, hammer and nails? This will really make the raft construction go a lot faster."

Desmond: "Be my guest, mate, but I still tell you, all you'll be getting is exercise."

Michael: "I have to try. Thanks man."

Michael puts the tools in a box, sets it down, and Jack trips over it.

Desmond: "Now I remember! You're that clumsy guy who sprained his ankle on that stadium steps in California."

Jack: "I'm not clumsy! Boone is the clumsy one."

Boone: "Hey! I haven't tripped over anything in four days!"

Hurley groans upon hearing the number.

Shannon: "Congratulations on setting a new personal record."

Boone: "I've had enough of this place for now. I'm going back to the beach."

Locke: "I … I've tried so hard to get here. I don't feel like leaving."

Kate: "Come on John, the change of pace will do you good."

Jack: "Why are you giving medical opinions?"

Kate: "That's not a medical opinion. That's just a personal opinion that I think makes a lot of sense."

Claire: "I'm going back to the beach. Aaron needs to sleep for longer than 108 minutes at a time."

Sayid: "It's actually 104 minutes."

Charlie: "Lay off, mate. Claire, I'm coming with you."

Claire: "Of course."

Michael: "All right, everyone's who's going back let's go now."

Sawyer and Rose remain on button pushing duty, with Sun and Jin as the backup. The Koreans admire the real, functioning bathroom.

Jin: "To conserve water, we should shower together."

Sun: "That sounds more like the man I married."

Sawyer and Rose are left staring at the computer. Sawyer is flustered.

Sawyer: "How did this happen again? I can't think of anything to say to you."

Rose: "That's quite all right. I don't know what to say to you either. There is plenty of reading material here."

Sawyer: "Good idea as any. Let's just get this button pushing shift thing over with as fast as possible."

* * *

Left alone in Room 16, albeit with guards outside, Walt struggles a little more, and then gives up as he decides it is hopeless and he is trying to figure out Bea. _What did she mean by that smile? I got it – she really likes me, and she showed it by really getting into this cops and robbers game. Wow, was that ever nice of her. She really did a great job, going to all that trouble with those tests – I felt like a real prisoner. Actually, I guess I still am._

With renewed energy, Walt makes another effort to escape the chair. He rocks back and forth and side to side a little, but stops when he realizes that could make him fall over. He continues to strain on the ropes binding his hands and feet, as if he might be able to simply tear the ropes. Naturally the ropes are too strong, but Walt is still trying when Juliet walks in.

Juliet remembers Ben's instructions about staying in the character of a prison guard, and on this occasion she is not shocked to see Walt affixed to a chair. She smiles as she talks.

Juliet: "Oh dear, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

Walt can't help but smile in return as he stops struggling. "Just one of Bea Klugh's tests. Looks like I still can't escape. Ethan and Danny are really good at tying good knots."

Juliet: "That they are. Are you feeling any pain?" Juliet is concerned about Walt's welfare.

Walt is back to being determined to appear tough. "My shoulders ache a little, but I can handle it."

Juliet: "Good. Now yesterday we got distracted before you told me everything about the other passengers."

Walt: "Oh right, I forgot about that."

There is a pause, which Juliet has to break. "So go ahead and finish."

Walt: "Aren't you going to untie me? I only need my hands; maybe just one hand."

Juliet: "I think it would be better if you finish your descriptions first."

Walt is surprised, and then reasons, _She's more into character today. I can be too._ "So you think you can make me talk?"

Juliet senses Walt is back to the cops and robbers game. "I believe I can."

Walt: _She's too nice to torture me with those awful recordings, but she might tickle me. It'll be interesting to see what she does. _"Let's see you try."

Juliet walks over behind Walt. "Being tied like that puts a strain on your deltoid and trapezius muscles. This should help."

Juliet rubs Walt's shoulders, and Walt's eyes grow wide as the action makes him feel a lot better. Either out of gratitude, or a hope for more of the same later if he should need it, Walt decides to talk.

Walt: "Ah, that feels great. I'll be happy to talk."

Juliet moves around and sits on the table to face Walt.

Juliet: "I'm listening."

Walt: "Well there's Hurley. Really overweight, but very friendly. He had this neat idea to build a golf course. Also thought up taking a census when we were afraid there might be an imposter among us. The one thing about him is that he gets really freaked out over the numbers I just had to add up."

Juliet of course is aware Ethan was the imposter, and has a good idea what the numbers are. "Sounds like a nice person to have around. Who else?"

Walt: "There's Claire, who was pretty pregnant when she crashed. She just had her baby before I left, and she hadn't named it yet. I suggested 'Walt,' but I think she didn't want to name him after one of the passengers and to avoid playing favorites. She had a thing for Ethan for a while, and went away with him for a few days, but that seems to have fizzled out. Now Charlie has been paying Claire all kinds of attention."

Juliet remembers meeting Claire with Ethan, and is glad Walt, and presumably no one else, knows anything about that."

Juliet: "Send my congratulations to Claire when you see her. Now what does Charlie look like?"

Walt: "That's Charlie Pace, the former rock star. He's kind of short, with long dark blond hair. We think he was on drugs at first, but he got cured after he was trapped in a cave-in for a day or so. Oh, he also made friends with this polar bear, who has been hanging out with my dog Vincent a lot."

Juliet makes a mental note that a polar bear is alive and loose on the island. "Interesting – I wonder if he was under the influence of narcotics when he made friends with the bear. Now who else?"

Walt: "There's a Korean couple, Sun and Jin. Jin treated Sun badly at first, and my dad moved in on her, and it looked like they had something going for a while. It was so funny to see the two of them trapped in a net. Jin left for a while, but when he came back he acted better, and Dad got more obsessed with building a raft. Sun is good at making medicine out of plants, and Jin is a good fisherman."

Juliet: "I see. And what does Jin look like?"

Walt: "Didn't pay too much attention to him. He's in good shape, kind of average size; I think he'd be a good kung-fu fighter."

Juliet: "He probably is. Who else?"

Walt: "There's Sayid, who used to be in the Iraqi army. I'm sure you'd say he's good looking, and he's very smart. Sometimes sounds like a nerd. Thick beard by now, and another good fighter. He hangs out with Shannon all the time. Shannon is a tall blonde, and looks great in her pink bikini. Sometimes she complains a lot, but a lot of the time she tries to prove she is useful. She argues a lot of the time with her brother Boone. They're both young, and I guess Boone is good-looking too, just a little skinny without as big muscles as some of the other men. He's got dark hair, and has a hero complex kind of like Jack. But now Boone hangs out with John Locke a lot."

Juliet: "Yes, you mentioned Locke yesterday. Can you describe him?"

Walt: "He's an older guy, bald, but very interesting. He seems to be in touch with this island. He's a great hunter, and can make concoctions out of the plants around here. He gave one of them to me. He also taught me backgammon and how to throw knives, and explained walkabouts to me."

Juliet: "Yesterday you said he was the one who tied you to a tree. I imagine that was similar to how you are now."

Walt: "What do you mean?"

Juliet: "I mean now you're tied to a chair, and pretty much can't move."

Walt is dumbfounded. "I completely forgot I was tied to this chair. Guess I got all caught up in talking to you."

Juliet: "I did think you were extremely calm for someone who's been tied to a chair for a while. Do you think that experience with John has something to do with it?"

Walt: "Definitely. It made me tougher and more confident that I can handle anything that comes up."

Juliet: "Glad to hear that worked out so well for you. Now, was there anything else to tell about Sawyer? You were talking about him yesterday when you got heatstroke."

Walt: "Well, he maintains this tough guy reputation. I have a feeling it is mainly for show, and that he's a nice person underneath, but I'm not totally sure. And for all those nicknames, he gives out, … no, that's a silly idea."

Juliet: "No, tell me."

Walt: "Naw, it's just a dumb thought I had. I'd only sound stupid."

Juliet has to know everything she can about Sawyer, and cannot resist. She gets up, goes over to Walt, and suddenly tickles his belly. Walt lurches backward in an attempt to escape.

Walt: "AH HA HA HA Okay! I'll tell you! My idea was that giving you lots of nicknames is Sawyer's way of saying he likes you."

Juliet watches Walt settle down. "That's better. That's what you get for not answering me immediately. That is an interesting theory about Sawyer."

Walt sees Juliet smiling, and is convinced this is still part of the cops and robbers game. "Okay, you got me good, but my shoulders are getting sore again."

Juliet: "You've been such an adorable little prisoner you deserve this."

Juliet massages Walt's shoulders, and then unties his hands. "You can untie yourself the rest of the way. I have to report now."

Juliet leaves to report to Ben. With his hands free, Walt manages to slide the ropes around his body so that the knots are in front of him, and then unties them. Then he unties his feet. As he stands up, his back sticks to the chair for a second. When he breaks free, the white paint has stuck to his back, displaying the Dharpa logo. It consists of a heptagon about eight inches wide with a border about an inch thick and the myriad of intricate little curves and lines in its interior. He goes to the door, where Ethan is waiting.

Walt: "Oh, hi Ethan. Can we wash the paint off my back before it dries? Otherwise I'm going to look ridiculous."

Ethan scowls: "I told you before, we're not going to waste resources on scum like you."

Walt chuckles. "Oh right."

Ethan takes Walt back to the cage and locks him in. Unable to clean his back effectively, the paint dries. Walt finds the bright side.

Walt: "Ha, it's like a temporary tattoo. That's kind of cool."

* * *

The large group gets to the beach, and Charlie remembers that he asked Claire about the note she allegedly wrote explaining her disappearance with Ethan, but she was in the throes of labor and didn't answer.

Charlie: "Claire, now that you're coherent, what became of that note you wrote when you were away with Ethan?"

Claire: "That note? That was quite a while ago. I don't think I ever had it after I wrote it."

Charlie: "Do you remember writing it?"

Claire: "I must have."

Hurley is close to hear. "Sorry dudes, but I had that note for a while after Jin gave it to me."

Charlie: "What did you do with it?"

Hurley: "I traded it to Sawyer in exchange for a week of him not giving me any insulting nicknames."

Charlie: "Do you know what Sawyer did with it?"

Hurley: "What does Sawyer do with anything? I'm sure it's in his stash."

Charlie: "Do you know where that is?"

Hurley: "No, and I don't want to go messing around with that. We can just ask him."

Charlie: "But Sawyer's on button duty."

Hurley: "Then we can ask him tomorrow."

Charlie: "I suppose. I still have a bad feeling about that guy."

Michael: "You're wrong about Ethan. He was the only nice enough to play with Walt the last couple days."

Charlie: "I hope you're right."

Michael: "I'm sure I am. Tomorrow they'll come back, and the raft will be finished. Walt will probably still be handcuffed, so that's why I asked for the file from Desmond. I imagine I'll have to file the handcuffs off."

Locke: "That's good thinking, Michael. You're a great father, always thinking of what's best for your son." When they are a little distance from anyone else, "I'd like to borrow those tools when you're not using them."

Michael: "Sure John, what for?"

Locke: "It's a little surprise for Claire, since she won't be going on the raft."

* * *

Juliet makes her report to Ben.

Juliet: "Walt was in very good spirits and very talkative this morning."

Ben: "That's good to hear. And now we have more information on the other passengers. I will study this and figure out who are the best candidates to join our society next."

Juliet: "I might have some suggestions for that."

Ben: "I'm sure you do. But first we must make sure Walt adjusts properly. Let's hope he fits in as well as Nathan. Once that happens, then we can move on to the other passengers."

Juliet: "You can count on me to do all I can." _Sawyer … Jack … Sawyer … so many interesting guys I have to meet._

* * *

Alex and Karl notice that the regular village is less crowded than normal, and take the opportunity to go for a walk. They wander toward the fake village, when Karl sees something move beyond some bushes. He takes a closer look and can't believe his eyes.

Karl: "Alex, you won't believe it. There's a kid in one of the cages!"

Alex comes over to look, and her jaw drops. "Where on earth did he come from?"

Karl: "I remember reading a book about something like this. Boys from somewhere in Polynesia are supposed to prove their manhood by taking a canoe to an uninhabited island and surviving on their own for some length of time. Remember that big storm a few days ago? He could have washed up here, and was found by someone, and then locked in there on your father's orders."

Alex: "That does make sense. But that's terrible. Dad has done lots of crazy experiments on bunnies, but to use a real boy is going too far. We still should find out for sure who he is."

Karl: "He probably doesn't speak English. Or Latin."

Alex: "It can't hurt to ask."

Alex and Karl go through the bushes, and Walt sees them. He is surprised to see them wearing regular modern clothes, and not just the plain brown outfits he has seen.

Walt: "Hi. Who are you?"

Karl: "He speaks English!"

Alex keeps her wits about her. "Wait, there's bound to be a hidden camera somewhere. You there, don't look at us."

Alex and Karl look around, and Alex spots the camera in a tree.

Alex: "We need to cover the lens with something so Daddy doesn't know we were here."

Karl: "We didn't bring anything like that. Leaves would just blow away."

Alex: "I got it. We can use your shirt."

Karl: "Why do we have to use my shirt?"

Alex: "Because we don't have anything else. Or I suppose you'd rather we use mine?"

Karl grins: "Actually, I think I would."

Alex scowls, and Karl is intimidated into taking off his shirt and tossing it over the camera lens. Alex and Karl then hurry to the cage.

Alex: "We have to talk quick before they realize their video feed is out."

Walt wonders why there was a camera on him, and then decides it was to make sure he was okay.

Walt: "So are you part of the game?"

Alex: "What game?"

Walt: "You know, cops and robbers."

Alex: "No I don't know. What are you talking about?"

Walt: "I'm playing cops and robbers. First just with Ethan, who brought me here yesterday in handcuffs and put me in this jail. Then these other people, Henry, Bea, Juliet, Danny, Tom have all been in on it. They've tied me to a chair and interrogated me. It's been so much fun, trying to escape, even if I can't. I've really tried, but this jail is built too well. So now I'm being held for further questioning. This is the best game of cops and robbers ever."

Alex and Karl are astounded at the story.

Karl: "Wait a minute, slow down. Who are you, and where did you come from?"

Walt: "I'm Walt Lloyd, and I got here when the plane crashed, about a month and a half ago."

Karl: "You mean you're not a native from some island around here?"

Walt: "No. The plane was flying from Sydney to Los Angeles."

Alex: "Then why are you wearing a thong?"

Walt: "It's not a thong; it's a loincloth!"

Karl, to Alex: "Loincloths are more manly."

Alex: "Whatever. Oh, are you an Aborigine by any chance?"

Walt laughs. "No. Actually I lost all my clothes when my nutty dog ran off with them when I was washing in a river, and my good friend John Locke made me this, out of genuine boarskin. He taught me about Aboriginal walkabouts, and those were a lot of fun. Almost everyone in our part of the plane lost some of their clothes, and we didn't have any material to replace them. But I guess your end of the plane did a lot better."

Karl: "Our end of the plane? We weren't on any plane."

Alex: "And this Ethan of yours, is that Ethan Rom?"

Walt is wondering where these two came from. "Yes, Ethan Rom was in the middle part of the plane that crashed. Uh, who are you guys?"

Alex: "I'm Alex Linus, and this is Karl, uh …"

Karl: "Martin. I do have a last name, you know."

Alex: "Funny, I didn't know that."

Karl: "Anyway, Ethan wasn't on that plane; he's been living here with us, until recently. And Bea, Juliet, Danny, and Tom have been here all along."

Alex is figuring this out. "Karl and I have lived on this island our whole lives. I think my father sent Ethan to infiltrate you guys."

Walt's head is spinning. "Who is your father?"

Alex: "Ben Linus. Short, mousy guy with thinning hair. Talks quietly, but his voice and eyes have a way of penetrating you. Did you meet him?"

Walt: "Uh … no, but there was a guy, the warden, like that. Said his name was Henry Gale."

Alex: "I think that's his alias. His real name is Ben."

Walt thinks back. _I remember Juliet almost calling him Ben. And someone out in the hall called someone Ben. It is a bit much to believe these people crashed and set up this village, and cage so fast. This whole thing has been a bunch of lies._

Walt's smile fades. "You mean Ben LIED to me?"

Alex: "I'm afraid so. My father is exceptionally gifted at lying."

Walt: "And this isn't cops and robbers?" I've been kidnapped for real?"

Alex: "That's right."

Walt stares at Alex and Karl as the full realization his him. _What have I done? I let myself be kidnapped. This was all a hoax, a big lie._ He holds feebly onto the bars of the cage.

Walt: "I feel like a complete idiot."

Karl: "Man, did you ever get punked."


	27. One of Them Others

Walt starts to panic, finally realizing he let himself be kidnapped for real. He pulls violently on the bars of the cage. "Let me out! Let me out!"

Karl: "Calm down. We can't get you out without the key."

Alex: "Let's think about this. The best way to help you escape is for you to pretend that you don't know that you have been kidnapped. If they find that out you know, they'll keep you on a tight leash. Keep acting the way you've been for the last couple days."

Walt settles down and sighs. "I guess that makes sense."

Karl: "When did you think they would let you go back home?"

Walt: "I thought we'd get started tonight, since it's a long trip. I'm supposed to be home by tomorrow evening."

Alex: "They may try to brainwash you into assimilating with our society. Watch out for that."

Karl: "Have they brainwashed or hypnotized you already?"

Walt: "No."

Alex: "If you were, you wouldn't know."

Karl: "I guess that was a stupid question. I was brainwashed without knowing it."

Walt: "How do you know that?"

Karl: "Because if I think of doing something X-rated with Alex, I get a debilitating headache."

Alex: "Yes, watch out for Room 23."

Walt: "Okay, I will."

Alex: "Another thing, there's a sonic security fence around the village. If you can't turn it off by entering the code, you have to have special earplugs to get through."

Walt: "Oh, so that's why Ethan blindfolded me when we got close. Do you know the code?"

Alex: "My father changes it every so often, so I don't. Sorry."

Walt: "Okay, I'll try to find something to stick in my ears."

Alex listens, and hears someone coming. "Quick, someone's coming. We have to get out of here."

Karl jumps up and grabs his shirt, which rips when he pulls it from the tree branch. "Good thing I have more at home."

Alex and Karl run away a few seconds before Ethan arrives. He looks up at the camera, and scowls.

Ethan: "Time for more processing. Let's go."

Ethan unlocks the cage and takes Walt back to the same building, back to Room 42. Bea is waiting there.

Bea: "Are you going to cooperate this time?"

Walt quickly replies, "Yes, ma'am." _I can't let myself be tied up now._

Bea: "Good. Sit down. We are going to test your powers of observation and concentration."

Walt sits down, and Bea takes out the heptagonal Dharpa medallion. Walt doesn't recognize it, but does recognize the pattern as the same that is now painted on his back. Bea swings the medallion as before.

Bea: "Now relax. You had a tough last couple of days, and you must be tired. Just let the light of this medallion fill your mind with its beauty and brilliance."

Walt yawns, and suddenly realizes, _She's trying to hypnotize me! I have to pull off a good acting job. _"Yeah, I am kind of tired." His eyes follow a point behind the swinging medallion, and he blinks several times.

Bea: "You are falling asleep, Walt. Deep, wonderful sleep."

Walt: "Asleep."

Walt closes his eyes and lets his head drop naturally. He relaxes his arms and legs, but keeps concentrating. Bea gazes at him for another eight minutes.

Bea: "Walt, there has been a change of plans. The game of cops and robbers is over, and you will be living with us from now on. You like living on this island. You want to live with us. You will live in my house. Do you understand?"

Walt has to guess how to react. Fortunately he isn't too surprised with the requests. He mumbles slowly, "Live … on … island … with … you."

Bea: "Very good Walt. Now when I snap my fingers, you will wake up and have no memory of this session or of being asleep. You will be anxious to go to your new home."

Walt: "New … home."

Bea snaps her fingers, and Walt opens his eyes and sits up straight.

Walt: "What … sorry … so are we ready for more tests?"

Bea: "I think we've done enough tests. If you're going to make it back to the beach, you have to leave pretty soon."

Walt: "Oh, … do I have to? I'd rather stay here if I can."

Bea is delighted. "That's wonderful. Of course you can stay here. There's room in my house. We all have houses in a nicer village. This area is to make sure only the right people join our community."

Walt is calculating how he should respond. "Great! But … I have to go back to my dad."

Bea: "It is okay with him for you to stay here. He will join us when the time is right."

Walt: _How could they know that? But I have to go along. _"Okay, good. But I also want Vincent to be here. Of course he runs all over the place all the time, but he should know where I'm living."

Bea: "Your dog will probably find us soon enough. But we'll look for him and coax him here if necessary."

Walt: "Sounds good. So … where is your house?"

Bea is convinced Walt has been brainwashed. "I'll take you there now."

* * *

At the beach, Desmond looks around the survivors' camp for the first time.

Desmond: "What a dump. I mean, compared to my place. I'm sure you did the best you could under the circumstances."

Sayid: "I think we did all right."

Hurley: "Yeah, dude, and we even have a golf course."

Desmond: "Golf? You know golf was invented in Scotland."

Hurley: "Um, yeah, that sounds right. Wanna get in a round before it gets dark? There's ten holes now, I think."

Desmond: "Sure, sounds like fun. I could use some."

Hurley: "Great, the course is this way. I found a set of clubs, and it's on the first tee."

Hurley takes Desmond to the golf course, and they start playing. Desmond is seriously out of practice, so Hurley is doing significantly better. They engage in conversation.

Hurley: "So dude, what were you doing out here with a boat?"

Desmond: "Aye brother, I was sailing on a solo trip around the world to impress my girlfriend Penny."

Hurley thinks about the young woman he saw a few times in the Santa Rosa Institute. "It must be nice to have a girlfriend."

Desmond: "The thought of seeing her again is what kept me going down in that hatch for so long."

Hurley: "A trip around the world? Doesn't that take a pretty big boat?"

Desmond: "Moderately big. I was lucky to get it. A young woman I met by chance insisted on giving it to me since she had no use for it."

Hurley: "Awesome luck, dude."

Desmond: "Maybe. There was one odd thing, thought. Right before she left me with the ship, she warned me to watch out for extraterrestrial aliens."

Hurley doesn't want to think about where such a person might end up: "Look, we're almost finished. Thanks for letting us take some of that food here. We're all getting tired of fruit and fish, and an occasional boar."

They get back to the beach camp, where dinner is just about ready.

Hurley: "How's it going?"

Kate: "Quite well. There was a wide variety of canned fruits and vegetables in the hatch pantry, and some chicken and turkey."

Charlie: "Funny thing is, all these can have the same funky picture on them – what is that, a septagon?

Sayid: "Actually that should be called a heptagon. Greek prefixes are properly used for geometric figures and hydrocarbons, like pentagon, hexagon, heptagon, octagon, and pentane, hexane, heptane, octane. Latin prefixes are used for larger numbers and multiple births, like quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, and quintuplets, sextuplets, septuplets, octuplets, nonuplets."

Claire: "Good thing I didn't have … any of those. One is all I can handle."

Locke: "The island would never impose on you more than you can handle."

Jack: "John, she was pregnant before she got here. The island had nothing to do with the number of babies."

Boone: "John could have been speaking metaphorically."

Shannon: "Can we talk about something else? Michael, how is the raft coming?"

Michael: "Great. Those tools made the job go a lot faster. I'm sure it will be done by tomorrow."

Hurley: "Can we eat now?"

Everybody has dinner.

* * *

Back at the Swan, Sawyer, Rose, Jin, and Sun have dinner.

Sawyer: "This is crazy. I am so glad I'm out of here on that raft in the next couple days."

Sun: "This isn't so bad. If it weren't for that beeping thing this would make a nice place for a long vacation."

Sawyer: "But there is that crazy beeping thing, Sunrise. I think that Desmond guy's pulling a con; that can't really be saving the world."

Rose: "He seemed like an honest man to me. We just don't know the whole story."

Jin finally remembers something: "Not great for vacation. There is a crazy Frenchwoman somewhere. When I left you, I fell into a rope trap she made, and she kept me prisoner for two days."

Sun: "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

Jin: "I didn't speak English then, so no one would understand me. And I wasn't talking to you at the time."

Sun: "What else happened?"

Jin: "Hard to remember. I was following a cable, and some rope closed around my feet. Then next thing I knew I was handcuffed to a bed frame and had lost my shirt."

Sun can't repress a giggle. "The experience wasn't a total loss. How did you escape?"

Jin: "We couldn't understand each other, and I think she determined I wasn't a threat to her, and it was too much trouble to keep me."

Rose: "Your English has certainly improved."

Jin: "It's too much trouble to write in broken English."

* * *

Back in Othersville, Mikhail makes a report to Ben.

Mikhail: "Ben, I just got back from the Pearl Station. I turned the monitors on, and the Oceanics have found the Swan station. Of course I turned the monitors off in case that station is accidentally discovered."

Ben: "Interesting. I'll have to see if I can think of a way to use this to our advantage. But I have to see Ethan about this pain that's been developing in my back."

Mikhail: "Any news since I've been gone?"

Ben: "Bea appears to have successfully brainwashed Walt into staying with us, so when you see him treat him accordingly. But we still have to keep an eye on him to be sure; Bea may be a bit too optimistic. I'd like you to keep an eye on Bea's house tonight to make sure he doesn't try to leave."

* * *

Bea has taken Walt to her house. Walt is amazed at the Others' village.

Walt: "What was all this business with the more primitive buildings?"

Bea: "We want only worthy people to know about our village, and you have proved yourself. There has been some trouble in the past, and we want to keep it nice and peaceful."

Walt: "Oh, okay." Walt does not want to say anything that could give the fact away that he is now aware he has really been kidnapped.

Bea takes Walt to his new bedroom. It is simple and neat, with a bed, desk and chair, and bookshelf with many books. Walt opens the closet, finding it empty.

Walt: "Shouldn't there be some clothes in there?"

Bea: "We wouldn't want you accidentally putting on something and overheating until we find out what is causing your medical condition."

Walt: "Oh, that is so thoughtful of you."

Bea shows Walt the bathroom, and Walt laughs when he sees himself in a full-length mirror.

Walt: "So that's what I've looked like the past month. My muscles really have gotten bigger."

Bea: "Of course they have. You're growing into a fine handsome young man."

Walt: "My hair is kind of a mess though. I guess I haven't combed it in several weeks."

Bea: "I think it looks great. Gives you a rugged, tough look."

Walt: "I guess you're right. So we can cook food here?"

Bea: "Of course. It's about dinner time anyway, I'll show you the kitchen, and can start teaching you how to cook."

They go to the kitchen, make and eat a nice dinner, and then Walt goes to bed. Walt finds putting a sheet over him makes him hot, so he just lies on top of the sheets. Bea can't help give Walt a gentle back rub. Walt's mind turns mushy.

Walt: _This is really nice. I won't try to escape right away. That would make them suspicious. I'll act good for a day and then see what happens._

* * *

At night, Ben meets with Ethan in the infirmary.

Ethan: "Why does this have to be done at night?"

Ben: "Because I'll probably have to at least partially disrobe, and I don't want anyone else to see me."

Ethan examines Ben, and x-rays him, gives him a CAT scan, and some other tests.

Ethan: "The results will be in by tomorrow. I'll see you then."

Ben dresses and leaves to go back to his house. He checks in on Alex, who is pretending to sleep. She wants to avoid any discussion about Walt and how she gave him some clues as to how to escape.

The next morning Walt wakes up, and takes a couple minutes to remember where he is. _Oh right, I've been kidnapped, but nobody besides Alex and Karl know that I know. I'm going to go along with everything Bea and everyone else says today, gain their trust, and then run away tonight._

He washes up and finds Bea making breakfast.

Walt: "Good morning, Ms. Klugh."

Bea: "Good morning Walt, but that's so formal. Please call me Bea."

Walt: "Okay, good morning, Bea. So what do I do today?"

Bea: "Well, the Book Club meeting is at our house today at noon, and later in the afternoon you'll get some exercise. Do you like any sports?"

Walt: "Basketball's my favorite."

Bea: "We'll have to get you a basketball then. There's a hoop and backboard by a field a little ways from here. But it isn't going to be all fun and games. This morning there are some more tests for you to take." Bea watches carefully for Walt's reaction.

Walt: "That's all right, I understand. Uh … do I have to be tied to a chair to take them?"

Bea laughs, and musses Walt's hair: "No, of course not, that cops and robbers thing went on long enough, don't you think?"

Walt: "Yeah, but that was so much fun."

Bea: "Well, we can play that some other time. We have to get you settled into a routine here."

After breakfast, Walt cheerfully goes to his room, sits at his desk, and works on the tests Bea has prepared. Thinking it best not to overdo it, he groans a little. "Social studies, science, English, … ehhhh, let's get it over with."

* * *

Jack, Hurley, Sayid, and Shannon go to the Swan Station to replace Sawyer, Rose, Jin, and Sun. Once Sawyer returns, Charlie is on him.

Charlie: "Sawyer, we need to look at that note Claire may have written when she was away with Ethan. Hurley says you have it."

Sawyer: "So what if I do, Chuckie?"

Charlie: "We need to compare the handwriting on it to see if it's really Claire's."

Sawyer: "What's in it for me?"

Charlie: "Isn't Claire's peace of mind enough for you?"

Sawyer: "What else do you got?"

Charlie: "I won't play my guitar where you can hear it for a week."

Sawyer: "Make that two weeks."

Charlie: "Okay, it's a deal."

Sawyer goes off to his new secret location for his stash, and retrieves the note and a pen. _I'm slipping. I could have gotten at least three weeks. _He returns. "Here you go, lovebirds."

Claire is now waiting with Charlie. Claire winces at the term "lovebirds," but Charlie does not. Claire looks at the paper.

Claire: "That's not my handwriting."

Charlie: "Are you sure? Please write something."

Claire copies a few words from the note, and it is obvious the handwriting does not match.

Charlie: "Do you realize what this means? You were kidnapped."

Claire: "I was … this is so hard to believe … would you look after Aaron, please, I need to lie down." Claire faints gracefully.

* * *

Ben, Ethan, and Juliet are meeting in the infirmary.

Ethan: "Ben, I'm afraid I have bad news. The results of the scans and x-rays are in, and I'm afraid you have a tumor."

Ben gasps. "Oh, no, is it a brain tumor?"

Ethan: "No. Fortunately when we x-rayed your head, we found nothing. But …"

Juliet giggles.

Ethan: "What's so funny?"

Juliet: "The way you said that … oh never mind, I'm sorry."

Ethan: "In any case, you can see here that the tumor is in the back, right next to the spinal column."

Ben shudders. "That's … terrible. I want a second opinion."

Juliet looks at the images on the film. "Ethan's right. That's a tumor right against the spine."

Ben: "What can we do? Can we operate?"

Ethan: "I could try, but this really should be handled by a spinal surgeon specialist."

Juliet: "What a fantastic coincidence. There's a spinal surgeon among those Oceanic passengers. We have to get him over here to operate."

Ben: "I'd say you're right. I have to think of something to get him here."

Ethan: "Why don't we just take him by force?"

Ben: "No! He won't want to operate on me if we do that. I'm going to come up with an ingenious plan to make him want to operate, and do a great job. But that will have to wait for a little while."

Juliet: "How come?"

Ben: "Because it's time for the Book Club meeting at Bea's house."


	28. What Nutcases Did

Bea and Walt are preparing for the Book Club meeting.

Bea: "We have to be good hosts. That means we will serve dainty little sandwiches, and tea and crumpets."

Walt: "What are crumpets?"

Bea: "These little round sweet bread thingies with holes on top, like muffins, that you put butter or jam or honey on."

Walt: "I wondered what those were. So what goes on at the Book Club meeting?"

Bea: "We read a book and discuss it. In honor of your joining us you can select one of the books from your bookshelf."

Walt and Bea go into Walt's room where he looks at some of the titles.

Walt: "The Jungle Book … Tarzan of the Apes … Houdini's Escape Tricks … Robinson Crusoe … Lord of the Flies … ." Walt shakes his head. "Are these books here for a particular reason?"

Bea: "No reason. Just random."

Walt: "There seems to be some kind of theme. Let's see what else there is … ooh, this looks creepy: 'The Pit and the Pendulum' by Edgar Allen Poe."

Bea: "Fine. The other members will be here in a few minutes."

A few minutes later Ben, Juliet, and Mikhail arrive. Walt and Mikhail haven't met, so Bea does the introductions.

Walt: "Cool eye patch! Are you a pirate? There's a pirate ship on this island somewhere."

Mikhail: "Are you an extra left behind from a Tarzan movie?"

Walt: "I'm not an extra, I'm a star."

Bea: "Let's settle down. There are still a few more to arrive."

Tom and Ethan show up at the door.

Tom: "Hello Bea, we're not late, are we?"

Bea: "No, you're just on time. Have some tea and crumpets."

Bea whispers to Walt: "Try to be a good host. Say something nice."

Walt: "Thanks guys for playing cops and robbers with me. That was very realistic and a lot of fun."

Tom: "My pleasure. I like playing games with kids, it keeps me young."

Bea and Walt finish serving everyone.

Bea: "Now will we begin reading 'The Pit and the Pendulum'. Walt will read the first page."

[Continuation deleted to avoid copyright infringement.]

* * *

Back on the beach, Michael finishes building the raft.

Michael: "There, all set. Ready to sail tomorrow morning."

Locke: "Then you're done with those tools?"

Michael: "Yes, help yourself."

Locke takes the saw, file, and hammer and goes off a little distance into the woods.

Charlie is holding Aaron and watching Claire, who is resting comfortably after fainting. He doesn't want to disturb either mother or baby, so he just stands there, waiting for someone to come along. Eventually Desmond obliges.

Desmond: "What's up, brother?"

Charlie: "Not Claire. She's down."

Desmond notices Claire lying down. "I guess the new mother must get exhausted all the time."

Charlie: "Yes, but in this case she fainted."

Desmond: "Fainted? Should we get Jack?"

Charlie: "I guess, but Jack's in the hatch."

Desmond: "No problem, I know a shortcut. It's too inconvenient to have the hatch too far away from the beach."

Desmond rushes to get Jack. "Jack, come quick, Claire fainted."

Desmond, Jack, and Hurley, Jack's button-pushing partner, rush back to Charlie and Claire. They leave the button to the capable hands of Sayid and Shannon.

Jack: "When did this happen?"

Charlie: "About two hours ago."

Jack: "Two hours? Why didn't you come to me then?"

Charlie: "I didn't want to disturb Claire or leave her alone, and I didn't want to upset Aaron."

Jack: "You could have done something."

Aaron starts crying.

Charlie: "Now look what you did."

Jack groans. "Let's see now, rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop … ."

Aaron cries louder.

Charlie: "You know there's only one person for this job."

Hurley: "I know; I'll get him."

Hurley goes over to Sawyer, who is sitting against the raft reading "Madame Bovary."

Hurley: "Sawyer, we need you to …"

Sawyer snarls: "Let me guess, Soothsayer, you need me to turn off Little Tear Factory over there."

Hurley: "Um, right."

Sawyer: "And if I don't, I won't get any peace and quiet. Fine, but that kid owes me."

Sawyer gets up and reads to Aaron from "Madame Bovary." Aaron stops crying at looks admiringly at Sawyer.

Jack: "I almost forgot. Do you know why Claire fainted?"

Charlie: "We found out that Ethan is an imposter. It wasn't Claire's handwriting on that note."

Jack: "Oh dear. Well, let's get Claire up. Do we have some water?"

Aaron, still being held by Charlie, drools on Claire's face, and she wakes up.

Jack: "That was quite innovative of you, Charlie."

Charlie: "That was actually an accident."

Claire: "What happened?"

Charlie: "You fainted when you found out Ethan lied and kidnapped you."

Claire: "Aaron, is Aaron okay?"

Charlie: "Yes, he was crying, but stopped when Sawyer talked to him."

Hurley: "Hold it, if Ethan kidnapped Claire, then maybe he kidnapped Walt."

Sawyer: "Why would anyone want to kidnap that troublemaker?"

There is silence, then laughter except from Desmond, who is trying to remember who Walt is.

Jack: "Good point. If there are no more problems, I'll go finish my shift at the hatch. You coming, Hurley?"

Hurley: "Uh-huh."

Jack and Hurley go back to the hatch. Sawyer and Desmond wander back to the raft.

Kate: "What was that all about?"

Sawyer: "Claire fainted when she found out Ethan is a fraud and kidnapped her. But she's okay."

Kate: "Kidnapped? But … Ethan left with Walt and hasn't returned."

Michael: "They're going to return by dinnertime tonight. But what is this about Ethan?"

Kate: "Sawyer just said Ethan is an impostor. How do you know?"

Sawyer: "It wasn't Claire's handwriting on that note when she disappeared with Ethan for a few days."

Michael: "But if Claire was kidnapped, Walt …"

Desmond: "I give up. Who's Walt?"

Michael stares at Desmond. "Walt is my ten-year-old son. Didn't anyone mention him?"

Desmond: "Not to me."

Michael looks around at everyone present.

Sun: "Since he's your son, I think it should be up to you."

Michael: "Sorry about that, Desmond. I've been building the raft so I can get off this island with my son. And there's room for a couple more people. I thought I mentioned it."

Desmond: "I know I did mention that your raft won't get you off this island, at least not for long."

Boone: "Michael\, did you mention that Walt burned the first raft?"

Michael glares at Boone, then realizes he should admit the truth. "Yes, Walt didn't want to leave the island, and he burned the first raft. It actually was very clever; he lit a long fuse while he was sitting in a net trap that John built to catch boars. It looked impossible for Walt to have done it, but John figured it out."

Jin: "You started to fight with me about that."

Michael: "Yes, but we're over that now. But … Walt may be kidnapped?"

Boone: "Maybe. But he can take care of himself. Remember he's great at handling knives."

Kate: "Did John teach him about throwing knives while handcuffed?"

Boone: "Er, no."

Locke reappears from the jungle. "I finished my little surprise for Claire." Locke sees several concerned faces. "What's going on?"

Boone: "Ethan turns out to be an imposter, and he may have kidnapped Walt."

Michael: "I-I-I can't believe it. I let it happen."

Locke: "Don't jump to conclusions. Walt can handle himself."

Michael: "But if he doesn't come back by tonight … I don't know …"

Kate figures changing the subject is a good idea. "So John, what's the surprise?"

Locke: "Come here, I'll show you." Locke takes them just inside the tree line, where he shows them a cradle.

Sun: "That's beautiful!"

Michael: "I'm supposed to be the one who builds things."

Locke: "We can't make you build everything around here. You've done a great job with the raft."

Michael: "Yes, but … that cradle reminds me of when Walt was a baby, and now I've lost him again."

Locke: "He isn't necessarily lost. Now let's take this over to Claire's tent."

Locke and Boone carry the cradle to Claire.

Locke: "Surprise!"

Claire: "Oh John, how sweet of you!"

Claire impulsively hugs Locke, who is taken by surprised. Charlie seems annoyed. Claire puts Aaron in the cradle.

Claire: "Where did you get the blanket?"

Locke: "From the hatch. I hope Desmond doesn't mind."

Desmond: "No, of course not."

Jack and Hurley get back to the Swan Hatch. Sayid and Shannon have wet hair.

Sayid: "What's the news? Is everything all right?"

Jack: "Claire fainted, but she's fine. How about you?"

Shannon: "Sun and Jin had this great idea about conserving water by showering together, and …"

Hurley: "I think we get the picture. The other news is that Ethan lied to us and kidnapped Claire, and may have kidnapped Walt."

Shannon: "Ethan? But he seemed like such a decent person. Not in Sayid's class, of course, but … are you sure?"

Hurley: "We can't be sure until tonight when they're supposed to be back."

The beeper goes off, and Sayid enters the numbers.

* * *

Walt is shooting hoops with Ethan and Tom, who are wearing t-shirts and sweatpants with the Dharpa logo on them. It is not too serious a session, more for exercise than anything else. Juliet comes by to check up on Walt.

Juliet: "How's it going, boys?"

Walt: "Okay, but I'm really out of practice." He takes a shot that bounces off the rim, and then his head, and then bounces to Juliet.

Juliet: "I'm sure you'll get better."

Walt: "Hey, do you want to play two-on-two? You can be on my team."

Ethan: "In that case, Juliet, you have to be 'skins'."

Walt and Tom snicker.

Juliet glares at Ethan, and thinks, _Definitely the wrong company for that._

Tom: "And I can paint that Dharpa heptagon on your back so you have matching uniforms."

Walt and Ethan snicker.

Juliet makes an effort to remain polite. "Thanks for the thought, but basketball isn't my game. I just came by to let you know the Book Club meeting will be at my house tomorrow."

She bounces the ball to Walt. He takes another shot, and the ball clangs off the back of the rim as Bea comes by.

Bea: "Hi there. How's the budding superstar?"

Walt: "Not so good. I'd be better at throwing knives into the basket."

Bea: "Knives? Why is that?"

Walt: "John Locke taught me. When I concentrate I can visualize the knife's trajectory in my mind's eye."

Bea: "Why can't you do the same with a basketball?"

A blank look crosses Walt's face as he thinks, _Duuuuhhhhhh._

Tom passes Walt the ball, and Walt dribbles to the free throw line. He gazes at the basket, pictures the flight of the ball, and shoots. The ball glances off the back of the rim as it passes through the hoop. Tom rebounds, and passes the ball back to Walt. Walt makes a slight adjustment, and the next shot swishes through. So does the next shot, and the next. Walt is in the zone. He forgets about being kidnapped and everything else as he makes free throw after free throw. Bea admires Walt's athletic form like a proud mother. He makes forty-two free throws in a row before his concentration is broken by his stomach rumbling and he misses.

Bea: "That was excellent, Walt. What just happened?"

Walt: "I got hungry. But that was awesome. I never did anything like that before."

Bea: "You will continue to do more amazing things as long as you're with it. But let's go get dinner now."

On their way back to Bea's house, they run into Ben and Alex, which is not a coincidence. Ben is looking for information.

Ben: "Good afternoon. Alex, I'd like you to meet Walt. He's a survivor from the plane crash several weeks ago, and will be living with Bea Klugh. Walt, this is my daughter Alex."

Alex is prepared for this and gives no indication of having seen Walt before. She shakes his hand.

Alex: "Hello there. Where do you come from?"

Walt realizes a second late that he isn't supposed to have seen Alex before, and thinks of what he would say under more normal circumstances.

Walt: "Hi. I was coming from Sydney and going to live in New York. But … Alex is a boy's name."

Alex: "Silly, 'Alex' is short for 'Alexandra.' But the way you're dressed I thought you're from some Pacific island."

Ben: "Alex, Walt has a medical condition where he retains way too much body heat in more customary clothes. We're working on it, but he's fine for now."

Walt: "Yeah, don't worry about it; I'm used to it."

Alex: "Well, good for you, then. You sure are adorable."

Walt grits his teeth. _Why does everyone say I'm adorable, or cute?_ "See you later, I guess."

Bea and Walt continue to their house, while Ben and Alex walk in the other direction.

Alex: "So are there more survivors?"

Ben: "Yes. We just have to make sure that they're suitable to live here. Now you know better than to interfere."

Alex: "Yes, Daddy, I know. Now can I go see Karl?"

Ben: "Yes, just don't … you know …"

Alex rolls her eyes. "I know."

Alex goes off to see Karl, while Ben goes to meet Mikhail.

Ben: "Mikhail, I have a job for you."

Mikhail: "Anything, boss."

Ben: "I need you to go back to the Pearl Station and watch the Swan. When Michael is at the computer, radio me."

Mikhail: "Got it. May I ask why?"

Ben: "I believe Walt is putting on an acting job. I think he recognized Alex, even though he tried not to show it. I have to find out for sure, and I have a positively brilliant plan."

Mikhail: "Sounds good. I'm on it."

Mikhail goes to the Pearl Station, taking the rest of the day.

* * *

Danielle gets bored, and decides to check out what is going on at the beach camp. Hiding behind a tree, she sees the cradle Locke has made, and her mind snaps. _Is that for Alex? It can't be – the time is too long. But that Asian man seemed the same age as before – I'm so confused. I need a plan._ Danielle is afraid someone will see her, and goes back to her bunker, trying to think of a plan to get back the baby that could be her Alex.

* * *

Michael waits for Walt and Ethan to return, but the sun sets without any sight of them. Michael is disconsolate. "What have I done?"

Locke tries to console him. "It couldn't be helped. Ethan had us all fooled, except maybe Charlie."

Michael: "Thanks for trying, but I should have known. It goes back to that manifest. I'm sure his real name isn't Eko Tunde."

Locke: "It most likely isn't. Tomorrow we'll all meet and figure out what to do."

* * *

Back at the Arrow Station, the real Eko Tunde's faith is being tested.

Ana-Lucia: "Hey Eko, how are you holding up?"

Eko hesitates, and then finds his resolve. "I shall hold up. The Lord tested Job, and now the Lord is testing me. I must be up to the challenge."

Cindy: "Do you think we're ever going to be rescued?"

Zach: "Yes, this is getting too boring. I need someone other than Emma to play with and insult."

Emma: "It's horrible to admit, but I have to agree with Zach."

Libby: "The reason we haven't been rescued could be that we were brought to an alien planet, made up to look like Earth."

Bernard: "Come on. The constellations, the length of the day, and plants couldn't all be made up."

Goodwin is thinking he has to report soon. "We just have to keep cool. There's no reason something big won't happen tomorrow."

* * *

Back in Othersville, after dinner Walt lies on his bed, fighting the urge to fall asleep. He listens until he hears what sounds like Bea going to bed. Walt waits another half hour to be sure no one else is awake. After that period of silence, he gets up, and quietly unlatches the window. He yawns, and then climbs up onto the windowsill, crouching to get his head through. He looks into the darkness. He has second thoughts. _I can barely stay awake. I don't know if I can make it. Will I get a better chance if I wait another day? But everyone must be worried about me, and I can't let these Others brainwash me. How far is it to the ground? Must be less than two meters. Please let this be a soft landing._

Walt braces himself, takes a deep breath, and leaps out the window.

SPLLLLOOOOOOSH!


	29. Bad Boy

Due to the force from having dropped from the height of the windowsill, Walt finds that he has plunged straight into mud up to his chest.

_I asked for a soft landing but this is ridiculous._

Walt stands still for a minute, needing to get over the shock and letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He reaches all around him, but his fingers find nothing solid to grasp. He twists and tries to reach the wall of the house, but finds he has jumped out too far to attempt to climb out that way. He tries to take a step forward, but is in too deep to move his legs. Straining some more, he finds that if he gets one leg forward a millimeter, the other goes backward the same amount since he can't get any leverage.

_Crud. They outsmarted me._

Walt tries flinging handfuls of mud away from his body, but that process is hopelessly slow, and of doubtful utility as mud seeps back around him almost as fast he can throw it away. He rocks and twists, knowing from the science test he had to take he won't sink any deeper because his body has displaced a volume of mud whose mass is at least his own. While this creates a little space around his body and makes it easier to breathe, it is not nearly enough to pull his legs free. He tries swimming motions, pushing mud behind him to propel himself forward, but that initially goes nowhere. He has a little more success by digging his arms in deeper, and moves several millimeters, but soon his arms get tired from pulling them free every several seconds. In an act of desperation he pushes down on the surface, succeeding in raising his body a centimeter, but then finds he can't pull his arms out due to exhaustion.

_I have to face it; I'm stuck, and too tired to get out now. This isn't so bad; it's actually kind of refreshingly cool. I need a few hours sleep, and then wake up when it's light enough to see what I'm doing._

A few hours later, Walt wakes up to the dawn sun's rays searing his face and chest. He yawns, and then remembers why he is finding it so hard to move. In the daylight he can see he is planted in the middle of a four-meter square patch of soil which has firmed a little during the remainder of the night.

_I got to get out of here before someone sees me. I can do this; it's like when I was buried in the sand._

Walt does feel greatly refreshed and invigorated. He rocks and wriggles, and gets enough space in front of him to get his arms free. Then to his dismay, Bea and Ben stroll into view.

Bea: "What are you doing in my garden?"

Walt has to think fast. "I must have been sleepwalking, and I got stuck."

Bea: "You would have had to unlatch the window and climb out while asleep."

Ben: "And it took quite a good jump to get as far from the house as you did."

Walt can't explain himself. "So what happens now?"

Bea: "Clearly you have to be punished."

Walt: "I suppose."

Bea: "Can you think of an appropriate punishment?"

Walt: "No."

Bea: "Neither can I."

Walt: "So what are we going to do?"

Bea: "I think we'll come back in an hour or so and see if we've thought of something by then."

Walt: "Ummm …"

Bea and Ben leave Walt stuck in the mud.

* * *

Back on the beach, Michael is losing his mind. "WAAAALLLLT!"

Sawyer: "If he could hear you, he would have answered."

Michael: "You don't understand. They took my son!"

Locke: "Michael, you must calm down. Now the plan was for everyone to meet at the hatch and discuss this."

Michael: "That might work. We can organize an army."

Kate: "Careful, I'm sure some of us don't know anything about weapons. Like me of course."

Hurley: "It's you two dudes' turn to push the button."

Jack: "Let's just all go over there now and figure out what to do."

Everybody on the beach goes to the hatch.

* * *

After half an hour, Juliet comes by to check up on Walt. All he has been able to do is wipe most of the mud away from the part of his body above the surface, from his chest on up.

Juliet: "Good morning, Walt."

Walt: "Good morning, Juliet."

Juliet: "Are you … okay down there?"

Walt: "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

Juliet: "You seem rather immobile, and that might not be too comfortable."

Walt: "Naw, I'm used to this. I spent lots of days buried in the sand, often deeper than this, for many hours at a time after I burned the first raft."

Juliet: "That's awful."

Walt: "Turns out it wasn't so bad. It made me tough, so I can handle anything you people do to me." Walt beats his chest to demonstrate his toughness.

Juliet can't help but chuckle. "In that case, I'm glad you're all right."

Walt: "This actually feels better than the sand. The squishy feeling is cool. I can understand why some people take mud baths. You want to come in?"

Juliet chokes. "Maybe some other time. I have to go now. Bye."

Juliet and Walt wave good-bye to each other. Juliet heads for the building to which Ben asked her to go.

* * *

The group arrives at the hatch from the beach.

Michael: "They took my son! We have to go out and find Walt."

Lots of people exchange glances.

Sawyer: "So are we really going to have a go at finding Walto?"

Boone: "Shannon was always very good at finding Waldo."

Hurley: "Ooh, 'Find Waldo,' I loved those books."

Sayid: "Finding Waldo? What does that mean?"

Shannon: "It was a children's game; there'd be these pictures on the pages of a book, and you were supposed to find this guy in a red and white striped shirt and glasses in a crowd."

Sayid: "I'm not sure that is relevant here. There does not seem to be a crowd."

Michael: "Forget about that; let's just start looking."

Locke: "Hold on a minute. These people are obviously very clever. If we just go out there without any organization, they'll just capture us."

Michael: "Then hurry up and form an army."

Desmond: "I actually have military training."

Sayid: "I bet I had more military training than you."

Sawyer: "I can shoot. No one would believe me if I said I couldn't."

Sun: "Jin, didn't you have to use a gun when you worked for my father?"

Jin does not want to admit that. "No, but I was encouraged by him to learn. I much prefer martial arts."

Claire: "I don't think nursing mothers are the best candidates for new military recruits."

Charlie: "Someone has to stay and protect Claire and Aaron."

Hurley: "I don't like guns dude. I could hang around Claire and Aaron."

Charlie: "I meant that I should."

Kate: "I don't know anything about guns. But I may be able to learn quickly; who knows?"

Jack: "This should be a volunteer force. But Michael, you're too emotionally distraught at the moment. You and Kate take over the button pushing duty like you are scheduled to. Clear your head. There aren't enough guns here to train everyone at once."

Michael grits his teeth. "All right, do it."

Michael takes a seat at the computer. It is Locke's and Boone's turn to rest as the emergency backup team. The rest go outside with some guns, and Desmond, Sayid, and Sawyer attempt to train Jack, Sawyer, Shannon, Jin, Sun, Charlie, and Hurley. Claire sits out the proceedings and watches.

* * *

Mikhail has been watching the proceedings from a monitor in the Pearl Station. He radios Ben: "Michael is now on button pushing duty."

Ben: "Thanks. Time to set the plan in action."

Ben locates Bea and they return to Walt.

Bea: "I've thought of a partial punishment for you."

Walt: "Oh goody."

Bea: "I want you to flex those massive biceps and pecs of yours and smile."

Walt could think of a lot worse punishments than that, and complies. Bea then quickly snaps a picture of him with a digital camera.

Walt is dumbstruck. "What did you do that for?"

Bea: "I wanted an adorable image for a new screensaver."

Walt shakes his fists: "I am not adorable!"

Ben: "Enough of that. It's time to get you out of there."

Tom shows up with a rope, tosses one end to Walt, and ties the other end around a tree. Walt tugs on his end, and doesn't get anywhere.

Walt: "Are you going to pull me out?"

Bea: "You admit you fail this test?"

Walt: "Test?"

Bea: "I thought you had the muscles and brains to extricate yourself with the aid of the rope. But I could have been mistaken."

Walt: "No, I'm not a wimp!" Walt flexes his muscles again, and then pulls on the rope. It is a major effort struggling through the deep thick mud. The spectators get a chuckle out of the floundering boy. After ten minutes Walt gets himself out up to his waist and can touch the grass outside the mud pit, but needs a breather. "This is hard!" Walt is panting heavily, and then quickly insists, "I'm not giving up!"

Bea: "Nobody said you were."

After a minute, Walt resumes his effort, and is standing on firm ground four minutes later, although completely covered in mud.

Walt grins: "Ha! I did it! And that was kind of fun."

Ben: "Fifteen minutes total. Interesting."

Walt: "Bea, I think you overwatered your garden."

Bea: "Looks like it had just the right amount. Funny that you should mention water. We have to get you cleaned up. Tom, if you would."

Tom: "My pleasure."

Tom goes over to a spigot to which the garden hose is attached, and turns the valve. Then he goes to the nozzle end of the hose and aims it at Walt. Tom pulls the handle, and a surprisingly strong burst of water smacks Walt in the chest and knocks him down. Walt gets up, and braces himself better. He turns slowly, letting the water blast all the mud away. In a few minutes he is clean, and lets the stream hit his back. He is mildly disappointed when it is over.

Walt: "That felt good against my back. Can you do some more?"

Ben: "No! It's not supposed to feel good. Now we can't have you escaping, and we have to do something about it."

Walt's mood turns a lot more serious. "Why do you want me?"

Ben: "There's something special about you, and we have find out exactly what it is you can do. This could have world-wide significance."

Bea gives Walt a towel to dry off with and a glass of orange juice. Then Ben continues.

Ben: "Now we're going back to the deGroovy Building and discuss what we're going to do with you."

They go back to the building in the primitive fake village where Walt was initially interrogated. This time they go to Room 8, where Ethan is waiting with some rope. An old-fashioned looking computer sits on a table in front of a large mirror. Ben sets his plan in motion which starts with the Others letting Walt amble near the computer.

Ethan: "Don't touch that!"

Walt: "I just wanted to see if there were any good video games on it."

Ethan: "Just sit down."

Walt knows what is coming, yet the hypnotic suggestion from Bea is still in force, so he doesn't mind too much. He sits upright in a chair in the middle of the room, with his arms neatly on the armrests. "You're too predictable. You need to work on developing your imagination."

Ethan is steaming, and ties Walt's wrists and ankles to the chair more tightly than before. Walt figures he won't be able to escape, when Ben's walkie-talkie buzzes.

Ben: "That's Juliet; she wants to show us something in Room 4."

Ben, Bea, and Tom start to leave Room 8.

Ethan: "We can't leave the kid alone with the communications computer!"

Tom: "Ethan! Don't tell him what it is!"

Ben: "Ethan, didn't you tie Walt up securely enough that he can't escape?"

fEthan checks the knots. "Of course I did!"

Ben: "Then there's no problem. Let's go."

The Others all leave, and Ben locks the door for effect. They go to Room 4, where Juliet is waiting.

Juliet: "So what is this great plan of yours?"

Ben: "Just watch." Ben pushes a button, and panels slide apart to reveal a one-way mirror. They can see Walt in Room 8, but he can't see them.

Walt thinks, _Communications computer? Maybe I can chat with someone, if I can get there. This chair isn't as heavy as that other one with the dopey logo on the back._ Walt leans back, and jerks his body forward, and the chair moves forward a centimeter. He thinks that is too slow, and tries jerking his body at an angle forward and to the right. With the right rear chair leg as a pivot, the left front leg of the chair moves several centimeters forward and to the right. Walt then throws his weight forward to the left, and the symmetric reaction takes place, leaving him closer to his goal and facing it straight on. He gets into a rhythm, twisting his body and making a surprisingly good pace.

Ben explains: "I have studied our subject and can predict what he will do. He will contact his father, and convince him to come here. Then we will use Michael to bring whoever we need here."

Juliet: "But why did Walt have to be tied to the chair? Why couldn't you just leave him in that room and let him access the computer normally? It would go a lot faster. He won't be able to reach the keyboard like that."

Ben: "There are two reasons. One, if we didn't tie him up, he might suspect that we want him to communicate via that computer. And two … it's so much fun to see him squirming tied to that chair. Look at him go!"

Bea: "Besides, he's enjoying it. You can see him smiling."

As Walt gets closer to the computer and one-way mirror, Juliet can see a grin on Walt's face.

Juliet: "Okay. He looks ridiculous, but this isn't the first time. But how can he type? The arms of the chair are well below that table."

Ben: "He's very clever; he will think of something. He might knock the keyboard so it leans against an arm of the chair, or he might knock the keyboard to the floor and type with his toes."

Walt gets as close as he can to the computer. He tries to reach the keyboard with his fingers, but comes up well short. Then a brilliant idea strikes him.

_Ethan didn't tie my upper body to the chair. I can type with my nose!_

Walt leans forward and types out "hello" with his nose. There is no "enter" key, but there is one labeled "execute" in its place.

* * *

Michael is despondently staring at the computer screen in the Swan Hatch when he hears a beep, and sees the word "hello" printed on the screen. A cursor is blinking on the next line.

_Can that be Walt? They said if anyone uses this computer for doing anything other than typing in the numbers something bad will happen. I'll get in big trouble if anyone finds out. But I have to know who this is._

Michael glances around, and sees Kate going into the bathroom to take a shower. Locke and Boone are asleep in the bunks. Michael then types "Hello, who is this?" and presses "execute."

Walt is excited to see a reply. _Great! Someone's out there! But who … I better use an alias for now._ With his nose, Walt types, "the waltinator, who are you".

Michael can't believe his eyes. _Is this a trick? But it might not be. I have to find out._ He types "Michael", and then holds his breath.

Walt types: "dad/", and grimaces that he didn't get the question mark right because he couldn't hold down the shift key at the same time as the key with the slash and question mark. _Question marks are more common; they should be the lower case thing on that key._

Michael types: "Is that really you Walt?"

Walt types: "yes it really is. i was kidnapped for real. ethan is a fraud."

Michael types: "Why aren't you using capital letters and proper punctuation? My son would write properly, and he should type faster than you are."

Walt types: "excuuuuuuse me. i'm tied to a chair and have to type with my nose and can't reach the shift key and another key at the same time."

Michael is heartbroken at the thought of his poor son and kicks himself for his last comment. He types: "Sorry. Where are you?"

Walt types: "about 20 km nne of the beach."

Michael types: "north-northeast, but km?"

Walt thinks, _stupid American can't learn metric. _He types, "about 12 miles for you."

Michael types: "I'm coming for you."

Ben of course has been monitoring the conversation on another terminal, in Room 4. He figures that's enough for his plan to work.

Ben: "Okay, that should do it for the first part of my plan. Let's not neglect Walt any more."

The Others enter the hall and walk towards Room 8. Walt hears the footsteps and types: "i have to go." He then manages to push a "clear screen" key.

Michael types: "WAAAAAAAALLLLLLLT!"

* * *

Kate exits the bathroom and blinks. "Michael, were you typing on that computer?"

Michael is nervous, and surreptitiously clears the computer screen, blocking Kate's view with his body. "No, of course not."

Locke wakes up. "What's going on?"

Michael: "Nothing. Look, since you're up, why don't you take over. I can't sit here any more."

Locke: "Let's see how the weapons training session went."

They all meet inside right after Michael types in the numbers in response to the beeping and Kate goes outside to ask the others back in. There is no evidence of an instant message session on the computer.

Locke: "How did the training session go?"

Jack: "There is good news and bad news. There was some improvement, but we used up almost all the ammunition."

Shannon: "Oopsie."

Boone: "How much do you have left?"

Sayid: "There is this rifle and this one clip, with eight bullets left."

Hurley backs off, wanting to avoid more contact with the numbers.

Michael: "Give that to me!" Michael grabs the rifle.

Jack: "Mike, we're not prepared for an attack yet."

Michael: "I can't wait. It's my right! They took my son!'

Desmond: "Michael, will you listen?" Desmond puts his hand on Michael's shoulder, and then shudders.

Michael: "You crazy, man? What's that about?"

Desmond: "Sometimes I get these visions, brief flashes of moments in time. I see you … tied to a post."

Michael: "You mean you see the future?"

Desmond: "It's hard to describe. Sometimes I see the past."

Michael: "But I've never been tied to a post. Come to think of it, Walt said the same thing a long time ago. Something about being tied to a tree, and was it 'like father, like son'? When is this going to happen to me?"

Desmond: "I can't tell."

Michael: "Forget it, you are crazy."

Locke: "Michael, this isn't a productive attitude."

Michael: "You can't stop me. They took my son! It's my right!"

Sawyer: "You are really getting annoying. I say we let Rambo here go off on his own so we don't have to listen to him any more. Who's with me?"

Sawyer raises his hand, and then Michael does likewise. Kate, Sayid, Shannon, Hurley, Jin, Sun, Charlie, and Claire follow suit.

Claire: "Look, Aaron is raising his hand too. I wonder if he understood us."

Recognizing the overwhelming vote, Boone goes with the majority, and then Desmond, Locke, and Jack.

Michael remembers the directions of going north-northeast from the beach. "Just a minute, Desmond, you got a compass?"

Desmond: "Sure, I'll get it." Desmond goes into a storeroom, and hands Michael a compass – the kind used to draw circles.

Michael: "Not that kind of compass! I mean a magnetic one, so I won't get lost."

Shannon: "Why do they call both of those things compasses when they're completely different objects?"

Sayid: "I think it's because they're both associated with circles."

Desmond finds a magnetic compass for Michael.

Michael: "Thanks man, I'm out of here."

Michael leaves to everyone else's relief.

Sayid: "I'm not sure that compass needle was pointing north."

Desmond: "It probably wasn't. There are magnetic anomalies on this island, but it should be consistent."

Sayid: "So it doesn't matter where it points, as long as Michael realizes it always points in the same direction."

Desmond: "Yes. It would only matter if he had a specific destination in mind."

Locke: "I don't see how he could. There's no way he knows more about this island than I do."

Sawyer: "Good. Then just leave him be."

Hurley: "I think it's lunchtime."

* * *

Walt tries to push himself away from the computer, but jerks backward too far, tipping over on his back. He manages to keep his head up so he doesn't hurt it hitting the floor. The chair cracks in several places.

Ben: "What were you doing?"

Walt knows he is caught: "I wanted to see if it would play 'Grand Theft Auto'."

Walt shifts to get more comfortable, and the chair breaks apart more. He finds he can slide his feet off the ends of the chair legs, and the chair arms break enough so that he succeeds in freeing himself. Walt feels a great sense of accomplishment.

Walt: "How about that! You can put that in your test result book on me."

The Others are impressed, but Ben has to maintain a serious tone.

Ben: "That computer is not a toy, and this is not a game. Now we're going to have to punish you again, not only for disobeying, but also for breaking our property."

Ethan: "I think it may be time to take him to Room 23."

Juliet: "No, he's just a kid!"

Bea: "I have a better idea."

Bea discusses her plan quietly with Ben, Tom, and Ethan. They move away from Walt and Juliet, so Walt can ask quietly.

Walt: "What's with Room 23?"

Juliet: "You don't want to know. I know you want to leave, but it will be easier on you if you cooperate for now."

Walt: "I don't want to cooperate. It's still fun trying to escape, and they aren't allowed to hurt me."

Juliet: "Well, please be careful. If you get caught again, you're going to Room 23."

Ethan and Tom recover the rope used to tie Walt to the chair, and then take Walt to the basketball court.

Walt: "Are we going to play more basketball?"

Ethan: "We have something else in mind."

Ethan and Tom force Walt against the support pole for the basketball backboard, and tie his hands with his wrists crossed behind his back around the pole.

Walt rolls his eyes. "You're tying me to a pole? Can't you think of anything more original than that?"

Ethan grunts. "You're really getting on my nerves."

Tom: "Let's show him something a little different."

Ethan and Tom tie a long piece of rope around Walt's ankles, and then wrap it around his legs and the pole many times, spiraling up neatly all the way to his waist. Then they tie that end of the rope in place, and step back to admire their work.

Walt: "What? I can't move my legs at all." His back is pinned to the pole, but he can bend his arms a little, and feels some slack in the rope binding his wrists, giving him encouragement.

Tom: "Is that a problem?"

Walt: "No, the Waltinator is one tough dude!"

Ethan snorts, and remarks to Tom, "He sure does look ridiculous."

Tom: "If you think he's ridiculous now, just wait for what's coming."

Ethan and Tom go away. Walt tries to rub the rope against the pole like he did when Locke tied him to a tree a month before, but the pole is smooth. He pulls and twists his hands, and feels the loops in the rope giving a millimeter at a time. The effort is tiring, and he needs to rest after a few minutes when Bea arrives, carrying a large paper bag.

Bea: "I have determined your punishment. My inspiration comes from a book we recently read at the Book Club, 'The Scarlet Letter'. Do you know what that's about?"

Walt: "No."

Bea: "A girl is forced to wear a dress with a large red letter 'A' sewn into it to show her town that she is guilty of adultery."

Walt frowns: "So … you're going to make me wear a dress with something written on it?" _That would be terrible._

Bea: "I thought of that, but there are a couple problems with that. Can you?"

Walt: "Sure, I'd just take it off. I could probably tear it off even if you guys handcuff me again. You can't keep me tied up all the time."

Bea: "Yes, and you would also overheat. Therefore I shall write something that you can't take off."

Walt: "What do you mean?"

Bea silently opens the bag, and takes out a can of white paint, an inch-wide paintbrush, and a screwdriver. She pries open the lid of the can with the screwdriver, and swirls the paint with the brush. Then she neatly prints the letters B-A-D in large block letters across Walt's bare chest. She dips the brush in the can again, and writes B-O-Y beneath the first word, across Walt's abdomen.

Walt is alarmed: "What are you writing?" Walt cranes his neck forward to try to read the upside-down and backwards letters from his perspective. "What is that, 'yob dab'? No wait, that's backwards, 'boy bad,' no, 'bad boy.' What! Bad boy! You're kidding!"

Bea: "No I am not. But if you find that too objectionable, wash it off. This is the same paint Tom was using when you acquired that symbol on your back. It will dry in an hour, and if it is still there, it won't wear off for four days."

Walt pulls hard with his hands, and feels the ropes give a millimeter or two more, but it is still not all that close to enough. "But I can't reach that to wash it off!"

Bea: "Then that shall be a constant reminder of how you misbehaved last night and today for the next four days." Bea snaps the paint can lid shut, and puts all the items back in the bag. "Oh, one more thing." She snaps another picture of Walt, and then walks away. "Some day we'll look at these photos in an album and laugh. See you in an hour."

Walt: "You're crazy! You can't do this to me!"

Bea: "Don't tell me what I can't do."

Walt: "Hey, that's John's line."

Bea walks out of sight, leaving Walt alone. He resumes his struggle, twisting and straining his arms, and slowly makes progress. Despite his humiliating position, he finds exciting the uncertainty of whether he can free himself in time to avoid having to walk around with the writing emblazoned on his body for four days.


	30. Hunting Party Animal

During the next half hour, Walt struggles valiantly, but can't quite force his hands through the loops in the rope behind the basketball pole. A few random Others walk by at a distance, but the only one who comes close enough to talk is Karl.

Karl: "Sorry your escape didn't work out too good."

Walt: "I had to try. I don't suppose you could you help me out?"

Karl: "Ben has ordered everyone not to. If I do, I'll end up there in your place."

Walt: "Figures. Kind of like Boone being intimidated by John."

Karl: "These people sound interesting."

Walt: "Yeah, they are. Say, you want to escape with me?"

Karl: "I could never leave Alex, and we'd only be hunted down."

Walt: "Maybe we can think of something later."

Karl: "Maybe. I gotta go now."

Karl leaves, and another half hour later Juliet shows up.

Juliet: "Hello Walt. How are you holding up?"

Walt: "Fine."

Juliet: "You're not too uncomfortable?"

Walt: "No, this is better than being tied to that tree. The pole is smooth against my back. But I can't use the pole to cut through the ropes like the tree bark did. It's so frustrating. I can almost get my hands free, but now … I can't believe I'm going to have to go around with 'Bad boy' painted on me for the next few days."

Juliet: "I'm sorry Walt, but we have to keep you here, and we need to convince you not to try to escape."

Walt: "Why would this stop me from trying to escape?"

Juliet: "The theory is that this will be so humiliating for you that you won't risk something like this happening again."

Walt: "I don't know about that theory."

Juliet: "In any case, will you be at the Book Club meeting at my house today?"

Walt: "I can't make it, I'm all tied up. Heh heh."

Juliet's stomach turns at the awful joke. "That was simply terrible. We have to do something about that."

Juliet tickles Walt's sides and tummy.

Walt: "Ha ha ha auuugh!"

After only four seconds a black bird soars through the air and poops through the basketball net onto Walt's head, who then finds the strength to pull his arms free and knocks Juliet's hands away. Juliet is amazed.

Walt: "Wow!"

Walt rubs his chest and upper abdomen but the paint appears dry.

Walt: "Maybe I can get home in time to wash this off. Hey, I can't reach that knot."

Walt finds that his legs are still tied to the basketball support pole. The rope ends around his waist but Ethan and Tom have tied the knot in the back. Walt also can't bend forward enough to reach the knot around his ankles.

Juliet: "Aren't you supposed to be clever enough to figure that out now?"

Walt: "I'm not a dummy; of course I can do this! Thanks to John I got lots of practice. He would tie me up, not too tightly, in vines and then leave so he got far enough away and I would be alone at the start of my walkabouts."

Juliet: "That John is certainly an intriguing character."

Walt grasps the top coil of the rope around his waist, thinks for a few seconds, and then twists it. He jiggles the rope around, sucking in his stomach at times to get more leeway. After a minute the knot is in front where he can reach it with both hands. It takes a couple minutes to untie that, and a couple more to unwrap the rope all the way around his legs. It takes several minutes to untie the knot around his ankles thanks to the awkward angle, but in fifteen minutes he is free.

Walt: "Maybe I will see you at the Book Club."

Walt runs home and into the bathroom, and tries to wash off the embarrassing writing, but it is too late. He settles for washing the bird poop out of his hair. He wraps a towel around his body, but after a minute he finds it too hot, and has to take it off. When he comes out, Bea is there.

Bea: "Hello Walt. We have just enough time to make it to the Book Club meeting."

Walt: "This 'bad boy' stuff won't wash off. I'm not going out like this; it's too embarrassing."

Bea: "You can't get everything you want in life, and most of the town has seen that writing on you already. Now come on. Are you going to try to hide like a coward, or are you the tough guy, who can accept the consequences of his actions like a man?"

Bea has learned that Walt will do just about anything to prove his toughness.

Walt: "I am tough! Fine, let's go!"

Bea and Walt walk to Juliet's house.

Bea: "I am proud of you Walt. The character in the 'Scarlet Letter' realized it was best not to try to hide the letter 'A' sewn on her dress."

They arrive at Juliet's house, where the rest of the Book Club is waiting for them.

Juliet: "Hello, so glad you could make it. Today we are reading a more advanced book, 'Crime and Punishment' by Dostoevksy."

* * *

There is a sense of relief at the Swan Station now that Michael is gone.

Shannon: "So what are we going to do now?"

Locke: "Let's go on about business as usual. I'm sure things will work out fine for Michael and Walt."

Sawyer: "That raft is ready. I say we take it out tomorrow morning."

Boone: "That's not fair with Michael and Walt missing."

Sawyer: "Look at it this way. This could be our best chance to get help to rescue Jango and Boba."

Jin: "What is he talking about?"

Hurley: "Dude, Sawyer is into 'Star Wars' references. Don't you remember him calling you 'Chewy'?"

Claire: "But the raft was build to hold four people. Who will take their places?"

Kate quickly realizes the opportunity. "I call dibs!"

Sun: "Me too." Sun throws her arms around Jin.

Hurley: "I guess it's settled then."

Desmond: "I keep telling you, it isn't going to work."

Sayid: "I think some of the rest of us should try to repair Desmond's boat."

Hurley: "Desmond's boat … don't boats usually have names?"

Desmond: "Aye. It's named 'Elizabeth' after the kind young woman who gave it to me."

Hurley's eyes glaze over.

Jack: "Hurley, what is it?"

Hurley snaps out of it. "I … think I knew someone named Elizabeth once, but can't remember where."

Charlie: "Who's going to stay at the hatch?"

Locke: "Boone and I can manage."

Desmond: "If you insist on fixing my boat, I can show you where it is. We can go to the beach, and then walk around the shore tomorrow."

Everybody but Locke and Boone go back to the beach.

* * *

Danielle forms her plan. Among the various objects in her bunker are some dolls. She selects the largest and most realistic looking, and heads for the beach. She tries to determine when the best time would be to make a substitution.

* * *

After the Book Club meeting ends in the early afternoon, Walt asks, "So what now?"

Bea: "Life goes on as normal. You still need your exercise."

They go to the basketball court, where Tom, Ethan, and Danny soon arrive after having made brief stops at their homes following the Book Club meeting.

Bea: "Good afternoon boys, take good care of Walt, will you?"

Tom: "Of course we will."

Bea goes back to her house.

Walt: "So are we going to play basketball again?"

Tom: "No. This time we're playing my favorite sport: football." Tom gets a football from a shed.

Walt: "Football's okay. You got one in that bin?"

Tom stares at Walt. "Did you lose your mind? This is a football."

Walt: "No it isn't, a football is round with white hexagons and black pentagons … oh, is that an American football? I never played that."

Tom: "Then I'll teach you. But what you call football is soccer."

Tom, Walt, Ethan, and Danny walk to a field next to the basketball court while Tom explains the rules.

Walt: "Football isn't a good name for that sport when you don't kick the ball very often. In the rest of the world footballs are kicked with the foot all the time."

Tom: "Do you want to play the game, or would you rather be a goalpost?"

Walt: "Fine, I'll play this game of yours. Whose team am I on?"

Tom: "You be on my team."

Tom and Walt play against Ethan and Danny.

After playing for a while, Walt gets an idea. Since Tom is much better at passing the football, Walt is the receiver when they have the ball. Ethan guards Walt while Danny rushes Tom after counting to four after Walt snaps the ball to Tom at the beginning of a play. Then as the clock strikes two p.m., Walt sets his plan in motion. Tom throws a good pass downfield to Walt, but Walt purposely bobbles it and lets Ethan intercept it. Excited by his good football play, Ethan returns the ball the other way, eventually colliding with Tom and Danny, and temporarily stunning them. Walt, meanwhile, keeps running the way he had been, away from the others.

Danny: "Ethan, you idiot, you're letting him get away!"

Ethan: "What? Argh, he tricked me. My bad."

Tom struggles up, but is limping. "Go get him!"

Ethan: "Relax, he won't get past the sonic security fence."

Tom: "You dummy; it's set on low because we have orders to make sure he doesn't get hurt."

Ethan: "Don't have a cow, man, I'm on it."

Danny: "Wow, is that line ever from the wrong show." Danny is also limping.

Ethan gets up, collects a backpack from the sideline of the field, and runs after Walt, who has a good head start. Walt reaches the barrier and remembers Alex's warning, about needing special earplugs.

Walt thinks: _I'm special, I shouldn't need special earplugs._

Walt sticks his fingers in his ears and runs through the sonic security fence. He gets a headache and is slightly stunned, but can manage to keep running, although not at top speed. Ethan enters the security code, crosses the barrier, and resets the fence. Walt runs westward, toward the shore. Ethan is a good tracker with good hearing, and being very familiar with the area catches up, although it takes him an hour. Ethan tracks down Walt about a kilometer from the Arrow Station. Ethan grabs Walt's arm with a vice grip and spins him around.

Ethan: "You've caused more than enough trouble. You're coming back with me, now!"

Walt: "Leave me alone! You're evil!"

With his free hand Walt slugs Ethan in the jaw. Ethan is mildly hurt, and then pushes Walt to the ground on his stomach. Ethan then takes off his pack, and fishes out the handcuffs. With his great strength Ethan forces Walt's hands behind his back and snaps on the handcuffs. Ethan stands Walt up.

Ethan: "Now are you going to come along peacefully?"

Walt knees Ethan in the groin. Ethan drops to the ground in agony. Walt runs away, but it is difficult while handcuffed, and he can't cover his tracks. It takes Ethan a couple minutes to recover, and then he resumes the chase. About half a kilometer from the Arrow Station he catches up to Walt again.

Ethan: "You asked for this!"

Ethan knocks Walt to the ground, and cuts down some vines. He ties one piece tightly around Walt's ankles.

Walt: "Ow, that's too tight."

Ethan: "Too bad." Ethan takes another piece of vine and ties it tightly around Walt's legs just above the knees.

Walt: "Hey, that's also too tight."

Ethan: "Does it look like I care?" Ethan cuts another piece of vine, and ties this tightly around Walt's body, below the chest, splitting the "BAD" and "BOY", and above the elbows, pinning Walt's arms to his back.

Walt: "Ow, that's way too tight too. Now I can't move my arms at all. You got me; you don't have to do all this."

Ethan: "I'm not taking any chances this time."

Walt: "You're making me angry. Don't you strange things can happen when I get angry?"

Ethan: "Nothing happened before when I tied you up."

Walt: "I thought we were playing a game. This is different."

Ethan: "So what, are you the Incredible Hulk?"

Walt starts screaming: "Shut up! And untie me!"

Ethan: "You talk too much." Ethan takes one last piece of vine, and ties it around Walt's mouth and head. Ethan watches Walt lie there helplessly for a few seconds, then picks him up and slings him over his shoulder.

After a few steps, they hear a strange clanking noise. Then there are sounds of trees being uprooted. Ethan slows down, and starts looking around. Then a large cloud of orange smoke appears. Ethan drops Walt as the smoke forms a giant hand shape and picks Ethan up. The smoke dashes Ethan into a tree, tearing his shirt, and then into the air, and slams him onto the ground. Then it picks him up and flies away, back toward Othersville, where it finally throws him through the sonic fence.

Ethan: "Ouch."

Ethan loses consciousness in a heap just inside the boundary. The smoke then flies away toward the middle of the island and disappears underground.

* * *

The tail section group is busy with ordinary day of gathering food, water, and firewood near the Arrow Hatch when something extraordinary occurs. They hear some strange sounds a few hundred meters away, toward the center of the island, and freeze in their tracks.

Cindy: "Do you all hear that? What is it?"

Bernard: "Sounds like some kind of clanking?"

Goodwin has an idea of what it might be. "I think we'd better retreat to be safe."

Ana-Lucia: "We need to find out all we can about the enemy before it sees us. We should move to higher ground and see if we can find out what we're up against."

Goodwin: "That makes sense. There's a hill back this way, with good coverage."

They go back toward the Arrow and a little to the side, up a small hill. There are more unusual sounds in the distance.

Cindy: "What can that … sound be? I've never heard anything like it."

Libby: "Precisely! That sound isn't like anything heard on Earth. The aliens are coming!"

Eko: "Those noises do sound most unholy."

Bernard: "Keep calm, there has to be a logical explanation for that. What ... was that a tree being uprooted?"

They gawk as it appears a few trees rise and then fall down. The trees are too far away to see exactly what is happening, and only their tops are visible.

Zach: "Are-are you scared?"

Emma: "N-n-no. What about y-you?"

Zach: "I-I'm not either… auugh!"

Another tree is uprooted, this one a bit closer. Zach and Emma grab onto to Cindy, who grabs the collar of Goodwin's tattered shirt.

Goodwin: "We need shelter! We have to run back to the Arrow before that … thing finds us."

Goodwin turns around, but Cindy's hands are frozen in terror. His shirt rips off in Cindy's hands.

Goodwin: "Cindy, give me that …"

Goodwin is interrupted by another whooshing sound and more trees being uprooted. The clanking is louder, and maybe two hundred meters away. Realizing there is very little times, Goodwin runs away. Cindy is shaken out of her trance, drops Goodwin's shirt, and runs with the children back to the Arrow. Libby, Ana-Lucia, and Bernard follow immediately. Eko hesitates, and holds his stick in front of him.

Eko: "Begone, you fiend!"

The fiend does not listen. Eko turns and runs after everyone else into the Arrow Station. They slam the door shut.

Ana-Lucia: "Eko, what did you try to do?"

Eko: "I was hoping that being would respect the word of the Lord as inscripted on my stick."

Libby: "Alien beings don't understand things like that."

Ana-Lucia: "It was worth a shot. Do you have a name for that stick? With all those Bible verses, like 'Jesus Stick'?"

Eko: "That sounds a bit too pompous to me. The stick wasn't all that powerful."

Ana-Lucia: "Maybe you could use the name of a major prophet then?"

Eko: "That's a good idea … let's see … what would be good? I got it: same initial, and number of letters and syllables as Jesus. This shall be referred to as the 'Jacob Stick'."

After this announcement, the strange noises can no longer be heard from the Arrow. They decide to stay there the rest of the day and night, and wait until morning to consider their actions.

* * *

Michael walks through the jungle for a few miles, but since his compass is forty-two degrees off, he heads east-northeast instead of north-northeast. Realizing he can't make it to Othersville in one day, he settles down within the trunks of a banyan tree to make camp for the night.

* * *

Walt is first scared, then amazed at the smoke monster's actions. Lying on his side, Walt cheers thorough the gag as Ethan is brutalized, and then transported away. _Wow, am I lucky! That thing didn't want to do anything to me._

A relieved Walt basks in his good fortune for a couple minutes, and catches his breath. He tries to get up, and then realizes, _Hey, I'm still tied up! If that smoke thing helped me by getting rid of Ethan, why didn't it untie me?_

Walt wiggles slightly for a minute, and realizes the smoke monster is not coming back to help him. _Should I call out for help? Those Others would probably find me before Dad or any of the passengers. I'll just have to untie myself._

Walt rolls onto his stomach to get the most use out of his hands. Unfortunately, they can't reach the vines tying his legs together. He can bend his knees with effort, but his arms are locked into place by the handcuffs and vine around his upper abdomen.

_I have to get this upper vine off first so I can move my arms. Can I get it off over my head?_ Walt squirms and wriggles, trying to back up so the upper vine is pushed up on his body, but it is tied too tightly to go over his chest and shoulder blades. After half an hour he concludes it's not going to work.

_Maybe I can slide this vine down over my arms to around my waist. I'll still be handcuffed, but I'll be able to do something with my hands, like reach the other vines._ Walt squirms and writhes some more, this time trying to move forward. However, the vine is still tied too tightly to pass around his elbows, which are pointed outward due to the way he is cuffed and tied. After another half hour Walt relaxes and considers his situation.

_Dang! Ethan is sure great with knots. He has something in common with John. I got to try something else. Maybe rolling around will loosen these vines._ Walt spends the next hour rolling on the ground, rocking from side to side, rolling over onto and off his back, and trying all sorts of contortions to free himself. With no slack to work with, nothing works. After the hour Walt is panting, his deep breaths forcing the upper body vine to dig into his upper abdomen and middle back.

_Crud! I can't get loose. Maybe I'm not so special. I don't feel all that lucky any more. It could be dangerous stuck here alone in the jungle. Hold it, John said I was special, and nothing would happen to me. And that smoke monster did leave me alone. But … if I keep lying here, I'll starve or thirst to death. If I'm so special, why can't I get loose? Guess I'd better call out for help after all._

Walt: "Hmpf!"

_Drat! Forgot I was gagged. How can I get this off?_ Walt turns his head, trying to cut the vine tied around his mouth and head against something on the ground, but there is nothing sharp.

_Guess I'll just have to chew through this._ Walt tries chewing through the vine, but all he gets is an aching jaw with no discernible progress. _Yuck, this tastes awful. Now what am I going to do? Hop back to our camp?_

Walt rolls some more, trying to prop himself up against a tree. He gets to a sitting position with his back against a tree, and pushes himself up. However, with his ankles and knees tied together, he can't keep his balance and falls to the ground. Fortunately Walt is able to roll with the fall so he doesn't hurt himself. _This is pathetic. I'm not really going to have to sleep like this, am I? _But he is exhausted from the hours of trying to get loose, and doesn't have the energy for another attempt.

_Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!_


	31. Alien Encounter

Ethan is discovered rather mangled just inside the security fence, and is found by Tom. He gets Ben, Danny, and Juliet. Tom and Danny put Ethan on a stretcher, during which his torn shirt comes off. They carry Ethan on a stretcher into the infirmary. Juliet gives Ethan a physical examination.

Juliet: "It appears he has a concussion, but other than that it's a lot of lacerations and bruises. It should take two or three days for him to recover. Good thing we're on this island, or it would be a matter of weeks."

Ben: "What could have caused those injuries?"

Juliet: "It would take a very powerful force to cause those. Wait a minute, he's waking up. Ethan, can you tell us what happened?"

Ethan is very groggy: "Smoke … orange smoke." Then Ethan passes out again.

Juliet: "We should let him rest through the night."

Ben: "He said 'smoke.' Darn, I guess that means that 'security system' is back."

Danny: "Why would it come back now?"

Tom: "Could it have something to do with Walt?"

Ben: "It is possible. No doubt he's run back to his camp. I have to figure out what to do about this. We'll meet in the morning."

* * *

On the beach, Claire feeds Aaron and puts him in the crib that Locke built. Then almost everyone pushes the raft into the water, and Sawyer, Kate, Jin, and Sun get on the raft. They sail away, off to a good start. Everybody waves, but Danielle uses the opportunity to switch the doll she is holding with Aaron, and scurries back to her bunker.

Desmond takes Sayid, Shannon, Hurley, and Jack around the south end of the island and up the southeast shore to where his damaged sailboat is, a hike that takes a few hours.

* * *

Bonnie and Greta are in the Looking Glass, the underwater station where they make sure that transmissions from the island are jammed. It also monitors the surrounding waters for watercraft. A blip lights up on a screen.

Bonnie: "Look! Something's happening – we're not being completely ignored in this story."

Greta: "That's great news, but what is that?"

Bonnie: "A ship of some sort, I guess."

Greta: "We have to notify Ben."

Bonnie punches in the emergency code.

Ben, Juliet, and Bea are at Ethan's bedside. Ethan is resting comfortably, although still unconscious. Ben hears the emergency beep on his high-powered walkie-talkie.

Ben: "What's going on? This better be an emergency."

Bonnie: "It is. Something is trying to leave the island."

Ben: "From where did it leave?"

Greta: "Looks like where those Oceanics built their camp."

Ben: "They don't have a working boat. It must be their raft."

Bonnie: "Should we blow it up?"

Juliet: "NO! Sawyer was supposed to be on that raft. There must be a non-violent way to bring it back in."

Ben: "I know the perfect thing. Send out the Dharpa shark, and program it to take bites out of the raft until it turns back."

Juliet hugs Ben. "Oh, thank you."

Ben enjoys being hugged by Juliet, who then realizes what she's doing and backs off.

Juliet: "Sorry about that; I guess I got carried away."

Ben: "There is no need to apologize."

Bea: "Getting back to business, what are we going to do about Walt? If he gets back to their camp; he'll ruin everything."

Ben: "I have decided that in this case, the only way to do something right is to do it myself. I will go to their camp as Henry Gale, with the balloon story as cover, and find out everything I can. Then I will convince Walt to come back with me."

Bea: "But what if something goes wrong?"

Ben: "I have thought of that. Michael is bound to get here eventually. Capture him, and arrange a prisoner exchange. Tell them he will never see Walt again unless he agrees to release me and bring back some more of the Oceanics. Brainwash him if you have to."

Bea: "Which Oceanics should Michael bring back?"

Ben: "First we need Jack to operate on me. Then … "

Juliet: "Ooh, make one of them Sawyer. Please, please, please."

Ben: "All right, Sawyer will work. Now there should be a woman to balance it out a little."

Bea: "From what I've heard, if Jack and Sawyer come, then Kate will insist on coming whether we want her or not."

Juliet: "Kate? But she's my competition … that's okay, I can break down the competition face to face."

Ben: "We will need one more to deliver the message not to bother us, and to stay on their side of the island."

Juliet: "How will they know what their side is?"

Ben: "Have Danny or Mikhail or whoever's available to paint a blue line across the island."

Bea: "Do you have someone in mind to be the messenger?"

Ben: "Yes. I want it to be Hurley."

Bea: "Hurley? Why him?"

Ben: "Because he's the one who needs to lose weight, and a long trip back and forth from their beach to here will do him the most good."

Juliet: "That makes sense. Good luck."

* * *

Michael wanders for hours in the wrong compass direction, and eventually hits the east coast. _What happened? This can't be right._ Michael looks at the compass, and then looks at the sun. _The sun must be in the east, so north is that way, and … this compass is all messed up. I've been going east-northeast instead of north-northeast. Now which way do I have to go? Am I going to have to use trigonometry?_

Michael draws some lines in the sand, and figures out where he has to go, based on guessing how far he has walked already. He now needs to head north-northwest, which means that the compass reading he will follow is west-northwest. This will cause him to take another day to reach the Other's Village.

"Hang in there, Walt, I'm coming for you."

* * *

After having taken a long time to fall asleep, Walt wakes up when it is nearly noon. It takes a few seconds for him to remember what happened. _Oh right, Ethan handcuffed me, tied me up, and gagged me, and that smoke monster thing took him away._ Walt finds the bright side. _At least he didn't blindfold me. I can see what I'm doing._

The long rest has done Walt some good, and he rolls around and manages to sit up against a tree. Then he pushes himself up against it and stands. Realizing that he cannot untie himself, he figures his best chance is to find the shore, and then hop along until he reaches the beach camp. He listens, and thinks he can hear the ocean waves. He hops toward the west.

Walt stumbles a couple times, but becomes more adept at righting himself. Fortunately after a few minutes he hears voices and people walking around. He hops around a curve in a faint trail, and sees several people he doesn't recognize. Hoping for the best, he greets them, forgetting about the gag. He tries to say, "Could you please help me," but it comes out,

Walt: "Mrrpfgwd grblu meez mllph veem?"

* * *

Libby, Eko, Ana-Lucia, and Goodwin are out in a group ahead of Cindy, Bernard, Emma, and Zach. They reach the general area where the strange noises were, and look for clues. They don't find any, but soon there is some noise coming in their direction.

Libby gestures to everyone to keep quiet as the noise draws nearer. Then the creature hops around a curve in the path, and Libby, who hasn't had her medication in forty-eight days, sees the alien with her own eyes. While it is humanoid in form, no one has ever seen something quite like it. It is heavily restrained by vines that look like ropes, has strange markings on its barely clad dark-skinned body, and speaks in a clearly alien tongue.

Eko bravely steps forward with his Jacob stick and commands, "Freeze!"

The alien freezes in its tracks.

Libby: "Did you hear that? 'Mrrpfgwd grblu meez mllph veem' – clearly an alien language. Be careful – it's probably the one responsible for crashing our plane."

Ana-Lucia: "It does seem to understand English."

Libby: "That doesn't prove anything. Its people could have been studying us for weeks."

Ana-Lucia walks around the alien life form, and notices the handcuffs. "Well, these handcuffs are terrestrial in origin. Whatever it is, it must have done something very bad. These are genuine police handcuffs, of the highest quality, used on international criminals. There's no breaking out of these without the key."

Libby: "What did I tell you? It sabotaged the plane and got caught. That explains the handcuffs, ropes, and writing on its body."

Eko walks around the bound creature and recoils at the sight of the markings on his back. "It is the mark of the devil! Beware!"

Goodwin is right behind Eko, and recognizes the Dharpa markings. He needs a moment to think, and then exclaims, "I believe you're right."

Ana-Lucia: "Why would there English on its chest and that strange thing on its back? It doesn't make sense."

Goodwin: "Could it be like a Rosetta Stone sort of thing? A warning in our language and its own?"

Libby: "Good thinking; I'm sure you're right."

Ana-Lucia: "So what are we going to do with it?"

Libby: "We have to make sure it never harms anyone again."

The other group hears the talking and approaches.

Cindy: "What's going on here?"

Libby: "We found the alien who crashed our plane."

Emma and Zach peek out from behind Cindy, and gawk at the sight of the alien. At first glance they are not sure whether they should be frightened or amused. Then Emma finds herself unable to take her eyes off it, finding it rather cute. Bernard comes up last, and can't believe his eyes.

Bernard: "What's the matter with you all? Who do you have there?"

Libby: "It's the alien who is responsible for the plane crash."

Ana-Lucia: "It could also be a dangerous criminal."

Eko: "It is a most unholy creature in any event."

Bernard: "You're all being ridiculous. This is just a boy, a human boy, but I can't imagine how he got in this predicament. He isn't talking clearly because he is gagged." Bernard approaches.

Libby: "Don't touch it! It could have alien cooties!"

Bernard: "That's nonsense." Bernard then addresses the newcomer. "Here son, hold still while I untie this." It isn't easy, but Bernard eventually manages.

The alien splutters: "I am not an alien! I am an Earthling."

Libby: "See? A real human being wouldn't use that term."

Cindy: "But it does speak English rather clearly."

"What is wrong with you people? Untie me! And I am a 'he,' not an 'it!' My name is Walt."

Bernard: "Come on, this is a human boy."

Libby: "Many aliens have the ability to take on different forms. Haven't you heard of shapeshifters? This one tried to look human, but have you ever seen a human look like that?"

Bernard: "Not quite like that, but, let me check. Walt, I'm a dentist. Open wide."

Walt says "Aaaahhh" before thinking.

Bernard: "That's a human set of teeth, and I'd say he's twelve years old."

Emma comes forward to get a better look. "I thought it was horses you told their age by their teeth."

Walt: "I'm actually ten. But I can see why you'd need a twelve-year old actor to portray me."

Ana-Lucia: "I think we need to ask him some questions."

Walt: "Could you please give me some water? I'm really thirsty."

Bernard holds a water bottle to Walt's mouth so he can drink.

Libby: "Interrogation is absolutely in order. So 'Walt,' if you want to be untied, you're going to have to answer our questions."

Bernard works on untying the rope around Walt's upper body anyway.

Ana-Lucia: "All right, Walt, who did this to you?"

Walt: "This evil dude named Ethan. There's a bunch of crazy people in a village back there, and I tried to escape yesterday, but he caught me and tied me up."

Goodwin gets an idea of what is going on. _He must be a fuselage survivor. If he gets back to his group, he'll expose us. I can't let that happen, whatever the risk. And if I do get him back, Ben will be happy with me for a change._

Ana-Lucia: "Then where is this Ethan now?"

Walt: "The orange smoke took him away."

Ana-Lucia: "What? How can smoke take someone somewhere?"

Walt: "I don't know how it did it, but it did. This smoke cloud came out of nowhere, and formed a giant hand, picked him up, smashed him around, and carried him away."

Goodwin sees his opportunity to sway opinion. "If he says that smoke can pick up a man, then we can't believe anything he says."

Libby: "That's right. It must also be lying when it says it's not an alien."

Walt: "Will you stop calling me an ''it'? You're making me angry. And strange things seem to happen when I'm angry."

Libby: "So you admit that you have extraterrestrial powers?"

Walt: "Yes! I mean no! I mean if I had powers, I'd break out of these stupid handcuffs and vines, and wash that stupid "bad boy" off me."

Bernard: "He does have a good point. No one would go around like that if they didn't have to."

Libby: "Silly, if he did that he would blow his cover."

Walt sticks out his tongue at Libby: "Ha! You called me 'he'!"

Bernard finally gets the vine off Walt's upper body. Bernard grimaces as he sees that the vine has cut into Walt's upper arms almost to the bone. "Oh, look at that, he is really hurt. I'm sorry Walt, but we don't have any medical equipment."

Walt breathes a sigh of relief as he can move his arms. He rolls and shrugs his shoulders as the handcuffs will allow. Bernard works on untying the vine around Walt's knees.

Walt: "Don't worry about that, I'll heal quickly on this island."

Libby: "Hear that? He heals more quickly than a human would."

Walt: "But everybody heals faster here. Haven't you noticed it?"

Goodwin: "We've been careful not to hurt ourselves."

Walt fumes as Bernard undoes the vine around Walt's knees, and then the last vine around his ankles. It is a relief to be able to walk. However, he is not pleased that he can't convince this group that he is not an alien from outer space.

Libby: "I think we've heard enough. It's time to vote. I say he's an alien."

Bernard: "He's human."

Goodwin: "I say alien."

Cindy, still infatuated with Goodwin, goes along with him. "Alien."

Ana-Lucia: "I'm still not sure … those handcuffs didn't come from outer space … he's probably a criminal, but I'll say a human criminal."

Eko: "That creature is not of this Earth. I deem him an alien."

Zach, giggling: "Alien."

Emma, with a mischievous grin: "Alien."

Libby: "That's enough. The alien is deemed to be an alien. Now we have to decide what to do with it."

Ana-Lucia: "The pit is a perfect place for him, to protect both ourselves and himself from him."

Goodwin: "I second the motion."

Ana-Lucia: "All in favor, say 'aye'."

Libby, Eko, Goodwin, Cindy, Emma, and Zach: "Aye."

Ana-Lucia: "Those opposed, say 'nay'."

Bernard: "Nay."

Walt: "Do I get to vote?"

Ana-Lucia: "It's only fair."

Walt: "Nay."

Ana-Lucia: "The ayes still have it. Take him to the pit."

Eko and Goodwin each grab one of Walt's upper arms, and carry him to the pit. Eko climbs down the ladder with Walt on his shoulder, sets Walt down, and climbs up the ladder, pulling it out after him.

Bernard: "Hang in there Walt, we'll feed you before sunset."

Walt is left standing in the pit, and is confused. _What just happened?_

_

* * *

_

The raft is a couple miles out to sea, when the crew spots something moving toward them in the water. As it gets closer, they see a dorsal fin.

Kate: "Shark!"

Sawyer has carried his gun on board without anyone noticing.

Sawyer: "Keep calm, Princess, I've got this covered."

Sawyer aims carefully, and hits the shark between the eyes. However, there is a metallic clanking sound as the bullet ricochets off.

Sawyer: "What the …? It's metal!"

Kate: "And look, there's that heptagonal symbol embossed on its back."

The mechanical shark takes a large bite out of a corner of the raft.

Jin: "Is this a good time to panic?"

Sun: "I think so."

Jin clubs the shark with an oar, but it does no damage. Sawyer, Kate, and Sun grab the other oars, but the shark takes a second bite out of the raft. Kate tries to push the shark away, and in doing so the raft starts drifting back to shore. The shark lets up its attack, while maintaining a position that blocks the raft from getting further out into the ocean. The current takes over, and the raft is forced back toward the beach.

* * *

Emma and Zach get the ladder and climb down it to talk with Walt.

Walt: "Why did you guys say I'm an alien?"

Emma: "We've had a really rough time these past several weeks, and it's so much fun to tease someone else for a change."

Zack: "Yeah, it's been boring fighting with each other. And maybe you are an alien."

Walt stamps his feet. "I am not an alien!"

Emma: "Plus you're so adorable when you deny that you're an alien. Can you do that again?"

Walt: "I am not … hey, why should I do it again?"

Emma: "Because you need our help getting out of here."

Zach: "Yeah, and we deserve some fun."

Walt: But … now I'm going to have to spend the night down here."

Zach: "We've had to spend a couple nights down here. Once alone, and once together. It's someone else's turn."

Emma: "You can take that, can't you? Aren't you a tough bad boy?"

Walt: "Of course I am! I mean I'm tough, not bad. Well, most of the time."

Emma: "Then prove you're a good boy, and we'll convince the others to let you outside tomorrow."

Walt wants to protest, but thinks better of it. Then another voice comes from the edge of the pit.

Eko: "What are you two doing down there? Come up now."

Emma: "We were just talking with the alien. He's friendly."

Zach: "Besides, he can't do anything in those handcuffs."

Eko: "The devil can appear to be most alluring. Do not be fooled."

Emma: "Okay. But if he behaves, I think we should let him out tomorrow."

Eko: "We can consider it then."

Emma and Zach climb out of the pit, and Eko pulls the ladder up.

* * *

Evening draws near on the beach.

Charlie: "How's it going with Aaron?"

Claire: "It's been the best day so far. He's been sleeping all day, and it's so peaceful."

Charlie: "Can I have a look?"

Claire: "Okay, if you promise not to wake him."

Charlie takes a peek into the crib. The baby does not seem to be moving at all."

Charlie: "Claire, I think you'd better have a look at him."

Claire does, looks concerned, and picks the baby up. "He weighs less than yesterday."

Charlie: "Are you sure that's Aaron? That looks more like …"

Claire: "A doll!" Claire faints, not quite so gracefully this time, but Charlie is right there to catch her and set her down gently.

Desmond, Sayid, Shannon, Jack, and Hurley return from Desmond's boat.

Sayid: "The damage is extensive, but the tools from the hatch might be enough to repair the sailboat."

Charlie: "We got a bigger problem. Aaron is missing. Someone replaced him with a doll."

Shannon: "Another kidnapping? That makes Claire, Walt and now Aaron. That's a scary trend."

Hurley: "Maybe Michael will join that club."

Jack: "What about Claire?"

Charlie: "Oh, she fainted again."

Jack: "I must provide medical attention."

Jack pours some water on Claire's face, and she wakes up.

Desmond: "Look, the raft is coming back. I knew it wouldn't make it."

Shannon: "Bummer."

The raft washes up on shore.

Jack: "What happened?"

Sawyer: "We got attacked by Jaws."

Kate: "It was a metal shark, that bit pieces out of the raft and forced us back. What's going on here?"

Charlie: "Aaron's been kidnapped, and I am going to find him."

Shannon: "The baby was replaced by a doll. Who would do something like that?"

Sun: "Jin, what did you say about that crazy woman who kidnapped you?"

Jin: "That's right, that does sound like the thing she might do."

Jack: "It isn't safe here. We should go back to the hatch."

Everyone goes to the hatch, arriving a little after dark.

Boone: "Hi, what's the news today?"

Hurley: "Aaron was kidnapped, the raft was attacked by a mechanical shark and forced to return, and Desmond's boat really does have a lot of damage."

Boone: "Sorry I asked."

Locke: "It is clear that there are nefarious forces abound on this island. We must organize a search for Aaron in the morning."

Hurley: "We also haven't heard from Walt and Michael."

Locke: "They can take care of themselves, and Aaron can't. Aaron has to be our top priority now."

* * *

In different parts of the jungle, Michael and Ben have to settle down for the night. With no better ideas forthcoming, the usual space within trunks of banyan trees suffices.

* * *

Back near the staff, Bernard gets the latter and climbs down with some fruit to feed Walt.

Bernard: "I'm really sorry about this. How are you feeling?"

Walt: "I feel like a total idiot stuck in this pit. At least I was able to hop around and go places before."

Bernard: "But what about physically?" Bernard is successful in getting Walt to take several bites of a banana and mango, and drink some water.

Walt: "It is a relief to get those vines off me. I have to thank you for that. You're the only reasonable person in your group."

Bernard: "Maybe, but you have to understand we've had some very bad experiences."

Bernard blinks, and notices something. Walt's skin has healed to the point where no rope burns caused by the vines are visible. "Walt … your skin … there's no rope burns and it's only been a few hours. People don't heal that quickly."

Walt cranes his neck to look at his body and sees that Bernard is right. Walt wishes that he didn't heal so quickly, and is now afraid that even Bernard is doubting Walt's humanity.

Walt: "It just happens that people heal quickly on this island. If you don't believe me, you can cut yourself and watch yourself heal fast."

Bernard frowns. "Are you suggesting that we injure ourselves on purpose?"

Walt: "No! I mean … I can't believe this. What do I have to do to prove that I'm human?"

Bernard: "I'm … not quite sure. Some of the things you said, and your appearance could cause a rational person to have doubts. I'm sure it's best for everyone's safety that you stay down here quietly tonight."

Walt, sarcastically: "Great. It's hard to sleep like this; my shoulders are sore now."

Bernard: "Well, let's see if we can do something about that." Bernard, with the skill of a physician, rubs Walt's shoulders and makes the ache go away."

Walt: "Thanks, that's much better. I'm sure I can get to sleep now."

Bernard: "Good night then. Things are bound to be better in the morning."

Walt: "I don't see how they could be much worse. But good night."

Bernard climbs the ladder, and pulls it up after him. Then Ana-Lucia and Libby lower the log lattice over the top of the pit, and tie the lattice down.

Ana-Lucia: "What did you find out?"

Bernard: "The poor kid is confused and humiliated, but … those rope burns from this afternoon are completely gone. His skin was smooth as silk."

Libby: "I told you; no human could heal that fast. It's just further proof he's an alien."

Bernard: "There has to be a logical explanation for this. A non-supernatural explanation. We can leave him down there for a night, but not forever."

Ana-Lucia: "Let's sleep on it, and see what we can think of tomorrow."


	32. One of Us Humans

Author's notes: Due to work requirements, I won't be able to update as often, or read other stories as promptly, and I'm also finding it tough to remain motivated. For those still reading, thank you for your support.

* * *

The next day, the tail end group discusses what to do with Walt, the possible alien.

Bernard: "We can't keep the poor kid down in that pit forever. Let's bring him up now."

Libby: "I say you're taking a terrible chance. He could run away and inform his people about us."

Ana-Lucia: "How about we bring him up, and if he tries to run away, he'll go back into the pit until we are rescued."

Cindy: "That sounds fair to me."

Goodwin hasn't figured out how to handle the situation yet, so he agrees. "I can keep an eye on him from a distance."

Eko: "Sounds good."

They go the pit, uncover the lid made up of logs, and lower the ladder. Walt is managing to sleep on his stomach, so they let him sleep a couple more hours. Then Eko climbs down and carries Walt back up.

Ana-Lucia: "We decided to give you a chance. You can remain up here for now. If you try to run away, that will prove you are guilty, and we will put you back in the pit. Understand?"

Walt: "Yes, I understand." Walt rolls his shoulders to relieve some stiffness. Goodwin and Libby go to positions to block his escape, and the others go back to the Arrow Station, where Emma and Zach have been told to wait.

Emma: "Can we go see Walt now?"

Ana-Lucia: "Are you sure about this? It could be dangerous."

Zach: "We're not afraid."

Emma: "Especially since he's in those handcuffs."

Ana-Lucia: "As long as he is in those handcuffs I guess it's safe. Actually, see if you can get more information out of him; he may be more forthcoming with children. But if he tries anything, run back here and scream."

Bernard: "Of course it's safe. You may be right about Walt talking more freely to the children. Good luck."

* * *

Michael is hiking along through the jungle, when something comes over him. Alone, barefoot and bare-chested, he feels like he is experiencing an Aboriginal walkabout. _This is what Walt did so often. I understand him much better now._ Michael is in a zone, feeling at peace with nature and the environment all around him. He is so lost in the experience he almost doesn't notice a vital clue, a toy stuffed polar bear lying at the base of a tree.

Michael tries to pick the polar bear up, but it is stuck on something. He yanks harder, and frees the bear, but in doing so triggers a net trap due to a cord attached to the bear. He gets jerked off the ground, with his feet tangled in the net. _I really should have been paying more attention. But if Walt could get out of these, so can I. Hey, I've got a rifle. I can shoot that rope apart._

Michael struggles to get the rifle off his shoulder, and then takes careful aim. He pulls the trigger, and the bullet slices through the rope supporting the net trap. Michael crashes to the ground, knocking himself out. He sleeps comfortably, which is something that he badly needs.

* * *

Emma and Zach walk over toward Walt, who is standing where he was left, afraid to move due to the possible life sentence in the pit. The siblings stop when they get about ten feet away in front of him, and look over him carefully.

After a few moments, Emma and Zach laugh at Walt, who is indignant.

Walt: "What's so funny?"

Zach: "You're so weird."

Walt: "I am not weird!"

Emma: "You sure look weird."

Walt: "There is nothing weird about someone being handcuffed while wearing a boarskin loincloth, and getting 'BAD BOY' painted on his chest! It could happen to anybody!"

Emma and Zach try very hard to suppress their laughter.

Emma: "I doubt that has happened to anyone before in the history of Earth."

Zach: "Or on the planet you come from."

Walt: "Will you stop that? I'm a real Earthling."

Emma: "It's fun playing with you like this. Play along, and we'll tell the grown-ups we think you're human."

Walt is sarcastic. "Thanks a lot. By the way, what are your names?"

Zach: "I'm Zach, and this is my goofy sister Emma. I thought she was the goofiest person in the world until I saw you."

Emma: "That ranks as about the nicest thing my dopey brother ever said about me."

Walt: "What about the other people?"

Zach: "Your dentist friend is Bernard, the alien hunter is Libby, the one who looks like a tough cop is Ana-Lucia, the Nigerian is Mister Eko, the other guy is Goodwin, and the other woman is Cindy."

Emma: "Zack, maybe you shouldn't have given the alien all that information."

Walt: "Will you stop it? You know, I am hungry."

Emma: "Zach, can you get the alien something to eat? We can't leave him alone."

Zach: "All right." Zach acts like a tough defender. "If you try anything with my sister, you're going down."

Walt can't think up a decent response as Zach scurries off.

Alone with Walt, Emma gets the opportunity to ask the question she wanted to ask since the moment she laid eyes on him.

Emma: "Walt, Will you be my boyfriend?"

Walt chokes, as he was not expecting this. "What? Aren't you afraid I'm some evil alien, or a big bad criminal?"

Emma: "Maybe. That makes you more exciting. Girls don't want dull guys."

Walt: "So my being a bad boy is a good thing?"

Emma: "Maybe. Men aren't supposed to understand women."

Walt: _Hold it, is this why all those women are attracted to Sawyer? How would he handle this situation? I know:_ "What's in it for me?"

Emma: "Hmm, I hadn't thought about that. What do you want?"

Walt: "I want to get out of these handcuffs and get that writing off or cover up my body."

Emma: "But you look so handsome like that. I have an idea … don't your arms or shoulders get sore from being handcuffed?"

Walt: "Yes, but this bad boy can handle it."

Emma: "Let's see." Emma goes behind Walt and starts rubbing his shoulders. "You're tense for some reason. Try to relax."

Emma keeps at it, trying different patterns of rubbing, and Walt's attitude changes. He relaxes, and the massage feels wonderful. His knees buckle, and he sits on his feet as Emma kneels down to continue the shoulder rub. Walt's eyes lose focus as he hasn't felt this good in ages.

Walt: "Aaaaaaaahhhh. That … feels wonderful. You can press harder. Sure I'll be your boyfriend."

Emma enjoys kneading Walt's shoulder muscles, and moves on to his neck, back and arms. Walt forgets about all the discomfort he has suffered the past few days. He feels rejuvenated when Zach comes back with some fruit.

Zach: "Ha ha, I knew my sister liked you."

Walt stands up. "Why wouldn't she? She has great taste."

Zach snorts, and Emma holds a mango to Walt's mouth. He bites into it and chews a piece, though some of the juice dribbles down his chin. A few more bites, and more juice runs down his chest and stomach, with the stream ending in his navel.

Walt: "That stuff is sticky and I can't reach it to wipe it off."

Emma: "I'll take care of that."

Emma wipes off the juice with her hands. Zach giggles, but Walt doesn't mind. Emma then feeds Walt a banana, and gives him a bottle of water. Walt holds the neck of the bottle in his mouth and tilts his head back to drink it. When he is done, Emma takes the bottle out of his mouth.

Walt: "Thank you. You're great."

Emma: "You're welcome. Zach, why don't you take this bottle back to the Arrow?"

Zach: "Why don't you? I should get a turn at hanging with the alien."

Emma doesn't want to leave Walt, but figures it might be best in the long run for Zach and Walt to get to know each other better. "Okay, I'll be back soon."

Emma goes back to the Arrow, leaving Zach to talk with Walt.

* * *

In the infirmary, Ethan is making a recovery. Juliet, Bea, and Tom are at his bedside.

Juliet: "Ethan, can you speak?"

Ethan: "Yes."

Bea: "Can you tell us what happened?"

Ethan: "I … sort of. This orange smoke came out of nowhere, grabbed me, beat me up, and then … I was stunned, I think it threw me through the security fence."

Tom: "So you let Walt get away? Ben wasn't happy, and is going to their camp to bring him back himself."

Ethan: "Walt … camp? No, I don't think Walt will be at their camp."

Bea: "Why not? I can't imagine him going anywhere else."

Ethan: "He may not be going anywhere. I did catch him. I handcuffed him, and tied him up real good."

Juliet: "Why did you do that?"

Ethan: "Because when I first caught up to him and handcuffed him, he kneed me in my … private parts. It hurt. I wasn't going to let him have another chance, so when I caught him again, I tied his arms and legs real tight. And then gagged him because I couldn't stand his voice. But I think I made him too angry. I was carrying him back here, when that smoke monster thing struck. I dropped Walt when it grabbed me."

Juliet is aghast. "You mean you left Walt bound and gagged alone in the middle of the jungle? We're supposed to keep him safe."

Ethan: "I didn't mean to. But if you want to go out there with that monster around, be my guest."

Bea: "Calm down, Juliet, Walt is special. He'll be all right."

Juliet: "I'd feel better if we sent someone to look for him."

Bea: "Remember someone has to be here if Michael is brought in and Ben isn't back."

Juliet: "Then we can leave Michael in a cage and still look for Walt. Michael won't be cooperative if we don't have his son to bargain with."

* * *

Emma has gone back to the Arrow Station, leaving Zach to talk with Walt. They look at each other, and Zach has to ask his burning question.

Zach: "Where can I get a loincloth like that? It looks like it would be awesome to run around in just that all day, but without the handcuffs."

Walt brightens up. "That's easy. John Locke will be delighted to make one more for you."

Zach: "Who's John Locke?"

Walt: "He was one of the other passengers on the plane. He's a fascinating person, knows all sorts of stuff. He taught me to throws knives, and all about walkabouts, and made me this loincloth out of genuine boarskin after I lost all my clothes. And he also straightened me out. When we first got here I was pretty much of a brat."

Zach: "You were a brat? How did he fix you?"

Walt: "He tied me to a tree and drugged me and left me there for hours."

Zach looks at Walt funny. "And that helped you?"

Walt: "Absolutely. It felt terrible at first, it was so humiliating, but I had visions, and it made me tough. If I hadn't spent a whole episode tied to that tree in nothing but this little loincloth, I'd be freaking out by now having to spend so much time in nothing but this loincloth and handcuffs."

Zach: "I think Emma thinks you look good like that."

Walt snickers: "Who could blame her? Your sister has good taste. I just hate having this 'bad boy' painted on me and unable to cover it up. I'm really not bad any more."

Something suddenly dawns on Zach. "Wait, you said this guy was on the same plane as you? We were on a plane that crashed about seven weeks ago."

Walt: "You were? That must have been the same plane – Oceanic 815?"

Zach: "Yes, that was it. Come on, we have to tell the others about this. I'll tell them that I don't think you're an alien anymore."

Walt: "Thanks, I think we're going to be good friends after this."

Zach and Walt walk back to the Arrow. From their guarding positions, Goodwin and Libby also return.

* * *

Ben gets closer to the Swan Station, but passes the Pearl Station on the way and gets an idea. He goes down, and brings back up some projection equipment. He carries it near the Swan, and sets something up.

Ben: _It won't hurt to have a little fun with these people. Their minds were made to be messed with._

* * *

Following their instructions, Mikhail and Danny go to the middle of the island, and start spray painting a solid blue line that will stretch across the island. This is intended to convince the Oceanics to stay on their side of the island, unless Ben orders otherwise of course. Ben and Michael are already past the line from their respective starting points, so Mikhail and Danny don't see them.

* * *

Back in Othersville, Alex realizes that Ben is going to be away for a while. She calls Karl.

Alex: "Hey Karl, Daddy is away. Want to come over and have some good clean fun?"

Karl: "You have the house to yourself? Sounds great; I'll be right there."

Karl trots over to Ben and Alex's house, and Alex lets him in.

Alex: "So what do you want to do?"

Karl: "Whatever we can that won't give me a disabling headache for thinking improper thoughts about you. What games to you have?"

Alex: "Let's see, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, …"

Karl: "Your Dad never got rid of those things from when you were a kid?"

Alex: "He can wax nostalgic."

Karl: "How about something more grown-up, like cards?"

Alex: "We do have playing cards. How about Go Fish?"

Karl: "Deal them out."

* * *

Emma and Ana-Lucia are talking at the Arrow.

Emma: "Ana-Lucia, I have to admit something. I'm finding myself attracted to Walt. I'm afraid that outfit of his, that loincloth and handcuffs, are turning me on. Is there something wrong with me?"

Ana-Lucia: "That sort of thing happens all the time. Lots of women get attracted to the wrong sort of man. Remember we don't really know much about this person. But is it true that a lot more men should be in handcuffs. And there are many who would look better in loincloths. So no, I wouldn't say anything is wrong with you."

Emma: "Thank you. I really believe he is human and telling the truth."

Ana-Lucia: "Yes, I think Libby is going overboard on this alien conspiracy thing. But those handcuffs are a big concern. They aren't available to just anybody."

Emma: "Okay, but I don't think he's really a big international criminal."

Ana-Lucia: "We will have to question him further, but you may be right. Most of his behavior is not how big time criminals act in these situations."

Emma: "Thank you, Ana-Lucia, for talking with me. I feel much better now."

Ana-Lucia: "Glad I could be of service. Any time you have problems with guys, I'm willing to help."

* * *

Back at the Swan Hatch, there is a discussion as to how to find Aaron.

Locke: "We can cover the most ground while staying as safe as we can by going out in pairs."

Charlie: "I'll pair up with Claire."

Claire: "Of course you will."

Jin: "I will stay with Sun."

Sun senses Jin getting bossy again, but on this occasion it is reasonable. "Fine."

Shannon: "I'll stick with Sayid."

Boone: "Big surprise."

Shannon: "No bigger than you sticking with your boyfriend."

Boone: "John is not my boyfriend."

Locke: "Calm down, this is no time to argue."

Sayid: "Agreed. Who's left – Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley. Who will pair up with whom?"

Jack: "I should go with Kate."

Sawyer: "Not so fast, Doctor Burns, I think I'm the better choice for our farm girl."

Hurley: "Why don't you let Kate decide?"

Kate: "Thank you Hurley, but … I can't decide. Wait, I know. I'll go looking for Aaron with you."

Jack and Sawyer: "What?"

Sayid: "That sounds like a wise decision. Even Solomon-like."

Locke: "It's settled then. We should get going."

Desmond: "Hold it, I'll stay here to push the button, but it would be better to have a partner."

Hurley: "Dude, Rose is here."

Rose: "So I'm needed to make an even number? Glad I could be so useful."

Desmond takes Rose's hand, and suddenly shudders. He takes his hand away.

Rose: "What is it?"

Desmond: "I felt something … a very vague vision … like you're going to become more important."

Rose: "I do not care about being important. What I want is to see my husband Bernard alive and well."

Desmond: "Sorry, my visions have random precision."

Everybody who was going to search for Aaron gathered supplies and left. Claire and Charlie were the last to leave.

Desmond: "Good luck Charlie." Desmond shakes Charlie's hand, and a terrified look comes over Desmond's face.

Charlie: "What was that? You saw something, didn't you?"

Desmond: "Yes, but I don't think I should tell you."

Charlie shakes Desmond: "You have to tell me, mate! I can't go on without knowing."

Desmond sighs. "If you insist. I saw you rescuing the baby, handing him to Claire, but … you get hit by a spear."

Charlie pauses: "If that's what it takes to save Claire's baby, I'm prepared to give my life."

Desmond: "Don't say that; my visions aren't always exceptionally accurate."

Charlie: "The look on your face said it all. Thank you."

Charlie goes off searching with Claire.

* * *

Zach and Walt get back to the Arrow Station, with Goodwin and Libby following close behind.

Zach: "Hey everybody, Walt was in the same plane crash as us."

Ana-Lucia: "That should be 'as we'."

Cindy: "I thought you were a police cop, not a grammar cop."

Zach: "Whatever. His story makes sense now, and I'm sure he's human."

Bernard suddenly acquires a lot of hope. "You were on our plane? Was there a Rose in your group?"

Walt: "I don't remember any flowers."

Bernard: "I mean a passenger named Rose. A middle-aged African American woman?"

Walt: "Rose? Oh yes, she mostly just stares out over the ocean all the time."

Bernard: "That's my wife! You have to take us there."

Libby: "Hold on. Just because he says there was someone matching the description you gave doesn't prove anything. He still could be an alien spy."

Bernard: "That's ridiculous. A spy would try to blend in with the crowd. I think we can all agree that no one has ever stood out more in a group of people than this character."

Ana-Lucia: "You're right. No spy would … hold it, he could be being diabolically clever, and using reverse psychology."

Libby: "Precisely. It's good to see someone else has some sense here. I sure don't remember seeing him on the plane. But I admit I couldn't see everyone from where I was sitting. Cindy was the flight attendant, she should know."

Cindy: "There was certainly no one on the plane dressed like that."

Walt: "I wasn't dressed like this on the plane!"

Libby: "Then what happened to your clothes?"

Walt: "I lost them when my dog ran off with them when I was taking a bath in a river after falling into a big pile of poop."

Emma and Zach burst out laughing.

Ana-Lucia: "Then where did you get that thing you are wearing now?"

Walt: "My friend John Locke made it for me out the skin of a wild boar he had killed with a knife."

Eko: "It is good to have friends like that."

Zach: "Right. That guy tied Walt to a tree like that and left him for hours."

Emma giggles.

Bernard: "Your 'friend' did that? With friends like that, you don't need enemies."

Libby: "I think this Locke person demonstrated excellent judgment."

Walt: "It turned out for the best. I'm much tougher and better behaved than before."

Ana-Lucia: "That could explain why you're holding up very well while being handcuffed for so long. But part of your story doesn't make sense. Why would your dog run off with your clothes?"

Walt: "He's gotten crazy a few times. I think he took them as some sort of present or toy to his polar bear girlfriend."

Goodwin sees his chance: "A polar bear on a tropical island? We all know that's impossible. If the boy is lying about that, he's probably lying about everything. Sorry, Bernard, but I wouldn't count on your wife being around close by."

Bernard's spirits quickly go down. "Walt, please say you were kidding. Polar bears can't survive in the tropics."

Walt: "This one did. It became friendly after Charlie pulled a thorn out of its paw."

Emma: "When did your dog run off with your clothes?"

Walt: "About a month ago."

Zach: "Wasn't it weird running around in that if no one else was?"

Walt: "It wasn't so bad, almost everybody lost some of their clothes, especially shirts. But it looks like the same thing happened to Mr. Eko and Goodwin here. There may be something funny about this island."

Eko: "How do you know our names?"

Libby: "The alien must have tricked the children into revealing them. We shouldn't have given him the opportunity."

Bernard isn't sure, but if there is any hope he has to try. "Walt, where are these people now?"

Walt: "They're on a beach way south of here. Maybe twenty kilometers."

Bernard: "I don't care what anyone else says, I'm going."

Ana-Lucia: "We should stick together. Let's get our supplies and head out."

* * *

Danielle is in her bunker tending to the baby, when her thought process momentarily clarifies.

Danielle: _Wait. My daughter is a girl, and this is a boy. What have I done? I have to trade him for my Alex._

Danielle tries to think of a plan to make the exchange.

* * *

The tail-end group gets all the gear and food they can that had been stored at the Arrow Station. Then they head south, with Bernard anxious to lead the way, and Walt and Libby right behind him.

Libby: "I still think it's a trap. Let the alien go first."

Libby pushes Walt forward, and he staggers until he steps on a fallen branch that snaps. Having just regained his balance, Walt can't do anything when a loop in a rope closes around his ankles. A second later he his hoisted into the air, and with the handcuffs he is unable to prevent himself from getting suspended upside-down, with his head a meter from the ground. He shifts his legs, trying to get loose, but that only causes the well-made trap to tighten. He can sit up or bend back a little, but there is no way his hands can reach his feet to try to loosen the knot. Sighing, he relaxes and hangs still. His momentum causes him to swing and rotate slowly.

Libby: "I told you it was a trap."

Bernard doesn't feel so good. "You … It looks like you were right. I … need to lie down."

Libby decides Cindy is the least likely to be demanding enough for the upcoming interrogation.

Libby: "Cindy, why don't you and the kids take Bernard back to the Arrow. We need to interrogate this alien and it might get ugly."

Cindy: "Sure thing."

Emma and Zach: "Awwww."

Ana-Lucia: "Libby is right, children. This … being could be extremely clever and dangerous. He almost lured Bernard into this trap."

Emma does not want to take her eyes off Walt. "Can we come back after you're done? It's fun to look at him."

Ana-Lucia: "We'll see. Only if we're sure he's not dangerous."

Cindy supports Bernard as they head back to the Arrow Station, with Emma and Zack in tow. Libby, Ana-Lucia, Eko, and Goodwin remain for the questioning.


	33. Thou Shalt Not Be Abandoned

Libby, Ana-Lucia, Eko, and Goodwin are questioning Walt, who is hanging upside-down from a rope trap they suspect he tried to lure them into.

Libby: "So you think you're clever, don't you? Trying to get us all caught in your traps."

Walt: "I didn't know this was here! There are traps all over this island."

Libby: "A likely story. Now you are going to answer all of our questions."

Walt: "I don't have anything more to tell you. Now can you please get me down?"

Libby: "Not until you've answered all our questions."

Walt: "How do I know you'll get me down after we're through? You can get me down first."

The tail-end group consults, and makes their announcement.

Libby: "We'll come back in an hour to see if you've changed your mind."

Walt shouts: "Hey, you can't leave me like this!"

Ana-Lucia: "Don't tell us what we can't do!"

Walt thinks: _I've got to stop saying that when I'm tied up and/or handcuffed._

* * *

The four adults walk away, although Libby and Goodwin hide so they can check if Walt manages to escape.

Danielle has come up with a plan. She places Aaron in a basket, and attaches a note that reads: "Please exchange my Alex for this baby; no questions asked. If you do not comply, you will be sorry." She then goes outside, finds a place near the Swan, and sets Aaron down. Danielle then hides a few dozen meters away.

* * *

Claire and Charlie are searching around the Swan for Aaron when they hear some crying. Excited they make their way to Aaron, and are astonished to find him just lying there in a basket. Charlie picks the baby up and hands him to Claire. Charlie shivers for a second, as this is part of the prophecy Desmond foretold, but there is no spear to be found anywhere. Charlie reads the note.

Charlie: "What? Do you know who this 'Alex' is?"

Claire: "No, there's no one here by that name. I don't understand it."

Charlie: "Sounds like the workings of a madman. Or madwoman, I guess I'm supposed to say these days. Let's get back to the hatch and tell everyone the good news."

Claire: "Absolutely."

They walk back in a direct line to the hatch, when Claire steps on a bear trap. Instead of steel teeth, the jaws of the device are coated in hard rubber. It doesn't damage Claire's leg, but she can't get it out.

Claire: "Ouch! Charlie, get this thing off me."

They hear some strange sounds, as of ropes sliding against each other, and then like an arrow being released from a bow. A spear is then seen hurtling toward Claire and Aaron, who can't get out of the way. Charlie runs and makes a headlong dive to get his body in between Claire and the spear.

* * *

Debate ensues as to whether another chapter should finish while Charlie is involved in a cliffhanger.

* * *

Locke and Boone are searching through the jungle for Aaron. Suddenly Locke spots a tripwire.

Locke: "Watch out! There's another trap here."

Boone: "You're really good at this. What do you think this is?"

Locke: "Let's find out."

Locke has Boone step behind a tree, and then throws a knife at the wire. The knife slices the wire neatly, and within two seconds a shower of Styrofoam peanuts descends to the ground. When it is finished raining, the pile is ten feet high.

Boone: "That's … amazing."

Locke: "It certainly is. If this really is the work of that crazy Frenchwoman Jin mentioned, I would love to meet her."

Boone: "You falling in love?"

Locke: "It could happen."

* * *

Walt has been hanging limply for an hour when his interrogators come back.

Libby: "You will answer our questions now. And if you don't, you will feel what it's like to be a piñata."

Eko shakes his Jacob stick menacingly in Walt's direction.

Goodwin: "Careful. If you get him too angry, he might call that smoke monster thing on us."

Walt: "I don't have control over that thing. Besides, it left me all tied up before, so if it came again and took you all away, it probably would leave me hanging here. I certainly don't want that." _Come to think about it, I better remain calm._

Ana-Lucia: "That does make sense. Now let's hear your story again."

Walt: Can't I tell you get me down first? I'm getting lightheaded and can think better if I'm right-side up."

Goodwin: "How about we come back in another hour to see if you've changed your mind?"

Walt realizes he can't talk his way out of this.

Walt: "The plane crashed and I was in a group of seventeen survivors plus my dog and this guy Ethan who I found out later was one of the people who were already on this island. No rescuers came, and we couldn't get a radio to work, and we didn't have much stuff. There were no clothes to replace those that got ripped up or worn out, but we were fortunate to find enough food and water. John Locke was good at hunting, and Jin at fishing, so we managed. My dad Michael was just about finished building this raft. We were going to be able to leave this island in a few days, and I was going to play cops and robbers with Ethan for a little fun before we left. He tricked me, and took me to this crazy village. The people there gave me these stupid tests, and locked me in a cage and tied me to chairs a lot. One of the chairs had wet paint and that's how I got that symbol on my back. When I realized I was kidnapped for real, I tried to escape. The first time they caught me, and they painted 'BAD BOY' on me as punishment. The second time I got away, but Ethan caught me like I told you. He cuffed me, tied me up, and gagged me, and that's when the smoke monster came and took him away. I couldn't get loose or up, and spent the night like that before I hopped into you the next day."

Goodwin believes every word Walt says, and must do something about it.

Goodwin: "That story is preposterous. Especially that smoke monster thing."

Ana-Lucia: "Where did the handcuffs come from?"

Walt: "I found them in the jungle near where our part of the plane crashed."

Ana-Lucia: "Was there a key?"

Walt: "No."

Eko: "You let yourself be handcuffed when there was no key?"

Walt: "Yes, I thought we were playing a game, and it was a lot of fun. And they had an axe there they could cut the handcuffs off with if they had to. But … it's not fun any more. Now when are you getting me down from here?"

Libby: "When you've confessed to the truth."

Walt: "I've told you everything!"

The four grown-ups huddle, and come back.

Libby: "We'll come back in another hour, and give you one more chance to tell us the whole truth."

The four go back, again with Libby and Goodwin hiding to make sure Walt can't make a break for it. Walt has learned not to tell them what they can or cannot do.

Walt thinks, _I have to say something that will get them to let me go._

* * *

Jack and Sawyer are searching for Aaron in the jungle. They find they have little to say to each other. After quite a while, they hear something.

Jack: "Did you hear that?"

Sawyer: "I'm not deaf, Dr. Knowitall. Quiet, we can sneak up on them."

They creep quietly.

Jack: "Where did they go?"

Sawyer: "I think they're behind us. Hide, and we can ambush them."

* * *

Kate and Hurley are searching for Aaron in the jungle.

Hurley: "This is getting discouraging."

Kate: "Hold it; I just spotted evidence of someone going by here."

Hurley: "Really? What is it?"

Kate: "These bent branches, and there are occasional footprints. They lead this way. Come, and don't make too much noise."

They walk a ways.

Kate: "That's odd, it seems the trail stops here …"

Two men jump out of the bushes. It turns out to be Jack and Sawyer.

Jack: "Hiiii-yaaa! Oh, it's you. What are you doing out here?"

Kate: "What do you think we're doing? Looking for Aaron, just like you. We found this trail, and …"

Sawyer: "I'm sure you couldn't help it. You're just naturally attracted to me."

Jack: "It could be me too, you know."

Hurley: "Hey dudes, there's a blue line up over here."

Kate: "Let's stop arguing, and focus on trying to help Claire and Aaron."

Jack looks at the blue line. "I believe a chemical analysis of this will prove to be paint."

Sawyer: "Why would someone paint a line on an island?"

Hurley: "It doesn't seem so strange compared to other things we've found here."

Jack: "It could be a path; let's follow it."

Kate: "May as well."

* * *

Danny and Mikhail finish painting the line, and walk back to meet in the middle to verify the job is done. Danny spots Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley, and follows them from the Others' side of the line. He calls Mikhail on his walkie-talkie.

Danny: "Mikhail! Four of those Oceanics are at the border!"

Mikhail: "Don't let them cross! I'll get there as soon as I can. I've finished my end of the line, have you?"

Danny: "Yes. Over and out." _I always wanted to say that._

Several minutes later, the Oceanics are getting restless.

Jack: "I think we should see what is on the other side of this line."

Jack steps over the line, and Danny instantly pops up and points a gun on him.

Danny: "Hold it right there. Now go back on your side of the line, and stay there, and we won't harm you."

Jack: "What? Who are you?"

Danny: "This is our island, and you're living here because we let you live here. We're being generous. Now no trespassing."

Kate: "But some of our people are missing. Do you anything about a missing baby?"

Danny: "No! And no more questions."

Sawyer: "Wait, there's four of us, and only one of you. I think we can take you."

Danny: "I'm not here alone. We're good at hiding."

Just then, Mikhail fires a warning shot.

Sawyer: "Darn. "Ol' Nasty Disposition here has an invisible sidekick."

Mikhail shows up. "I am not invisible."

Hurley: "Cool eye patch. Are you a pirate?"

Mikhail: "No! What's wrong with you, the kid asked me the same thing."

Sawyer: "The kid? You mean Walt? What have you done with him?"

Mikhail: "He's been fine hanging with us."

Kate: "What about his father, Michael?"

Mikhail: "Never saw him."

Danny: "Stop it! We're not supposed to answer any questions."

Danny waves his gun around at the Oceanics. "Now this is how it's going to work. We're not going to answer your questions, and you're going to turn away like sheep and show a profound lack of inquisitiveness. If we have anything to say to you, we'll contact you. Cross this line again, and we won't be so friendly next time. Understand?"

Jack: "Is Ethan part of your group?"

Danny: "I said, 'go away!' No more questions!"

Jack: "Okay. Come on, we don't want Grouchy here to have a hissy fit."

Sawyer: "You should leave the nicknames to me. Yours are lame."

Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley go back to the Swan. Mikhail offers to stay to make sure they don't come back, and Danny goes back to Othersville to report in person.

Danny: "Hi gang, what's up?"

Bea: "Ethan is recovering nicely, and should be okay in a day or two."

Tom: "How did the boundary line go?"

Danny: "We barely got in done in time. Four Oceanics almost crossed it, but we scared them off."

Tom: "Who?"

Danny: "It had to have been Shephard, Austin, Ford, and Reyes."

Tom: "Uh, oh, Juliet won't like to hear that."

Juliet appears from around a corner.

Juliet: "Juliet wouldn't like to hear what?"

Danny: "I don't understand. I just said that we scared Shephard, Austin, Ford, and Reyes away from crossing the blue line we painted."

Bea: "But those were the four we want captive in case Ben doesn't come back. What a complete waste if you had them in your grasp."

Speaking of grasps, Juliet grasps Danny by the collar. She seethes, "You mean you had Jack and Sawyer and … let them go?!"

Danny, now trembling: "I … I thought that's what we were supposed to do."

Juliet: "How could you?"

Danny backs off, but Juliet doesn't let go of his collar, which causes his shirt to rip.

Danny: "You crazy, woman! Now look what you did."

Juliet: "That's just one of the old plain-looking shirts. But you just messed up my chance to see some guys a lot better looking than you!"

Danny is offended and huffs off back to his house.

Bea tries to console Juliet: "I'm sure things will work out. This course correction business should see to that."

Juliet: "Thanks for trying, but … ooh, we need better communication."

* * *

Ben gets close to the Swan, and puts his plan into action when he hears someone nearby. He deliberately steps into a net trap, and gets suspended in the air. He acts like he's been in there a long time, and calls out in a week voice.

Ben: "Help."

Shannon: "Did you hear that?"

Sayid: "Yes, it came from this way."

Shannon: "It didn't sound like Aaron."

Sayid: "Definitely not."

Shannon and Sayid follow the voice, and find a mousy looking man caught in a net.

Shannon: "Who are you?"

Ben: "Thank goodness you found me. I've been stuck here an entire day. My name is Henry Gale."

Sayid: "How did you get on this island?"

Ben: "I was sailing across the ocean in a balloon when a storm hit and I crashed on this island."

Sayid: "Did you see anyone else?"

Ben: "No, in fact I was afraid there was no one else on this island."

Sayid thinks the stranger is lying, but cuts the rope with a knife he borrowed from Locke.

Sayid: "Why aren't you carrying any food or water?"

Ben: "I had supplies on the balloon, but they ran out. I was desperate, trying to find food or water. I found some fruit a couple days ago, but haven't had anything to eat in over twenty-four hours."

Shannon: "Here, have a banana."

Shannon gave Ben two bananas from the pack she was carrying.

Ben: "Thank you, miss …"

Shannon: "Shannon. And this is Sayid."

Ben: "Please to meet you Shannon and Sayid. Now, what is your story about getting on this island?"

Shannon: "Our plane crashed some time ago."

Sayid: "Seven weeks."

Shannon: "It was rough for a while, living on the beach, but we found this cool hatch recently, and it has all kinds of food."

Ben: "It looks like you just came from the beach."

Shannon: "Oh that? We lost almost all of our luggage, and when our clothes got ruined, we had nothing to replace them with. I started with my suitcase, but some animals _(Boone and Sayid, but who cares any more)_ messed with it after I had changed into this bikini."

Sayid: "I'm sure the vision of Shannon has helped us get through our ordeals."

Shannon: "And Sayid looks pretty good himself."

Shannon, Sayid, and Ben make it to the Swan Station. Ben acts impressed, and is shown to the pantry and given something to eat. Sayid and Shannon meet up with Desmond and Rose.

Sayid: "We found this guy in a trap. He says he crashed here in a balloon, but I think he's lying."

Desmond: "How can you tell?"

Sayid: "He doesn't look like he's been starving for a whole day, and he didn't seem surprised at first to see Shannon and me in our reduced attire."

Desmond: "So who do you think he is?"

Sayid: "I think he's in cahoots with Ethan. I have to question him further, but hopefully he will let his guard down."

* * *

After another hour, the interrogators come back to further question the possible alien.

Libby: "Are you ready to talk now?"

Walt is exasperated. "Fine! I'm really from the planet Zygon. I was plotting to take over my home world with my superpowers when I got caught, so the authorities exiled me to Terra, or what you call Earth. In my natural form I'm a hideous blob, so the transformed me into the cute adorable humanoid thing you see before you. They stripped me so that I couldn't carry a concealed weapon, and then gave me just enough to wear to be decent so I wouldn't offend anyone who saw me. They branded me 'BAD BOY' so anyone who sees me would know to be careful. And they cuffed me with handcuffs made of unbreakable duranium so I couldn't cover up the words or wash them off. And then they tied my feet, legs, and arms, and gagged me so as not to take any chances and give me a chance to take over Earth."

Libby slowly circles Walt, looks him up and down, and deliberates over all the aspects of his confession. Then she makes up her mind.

Libby: "That makes perfect sense. I knew you were a nefarious alien criminal the moment I saw you. So how old are you really?"

Walt: "I really am ten. And about a quarter."

Libby: "So you say. Now tell us, where is this planet Zygon of yours, and what kind of interstellar space travel technology do they have?"

Walt: "It's in the Alphemoron System, in the Zetabull Galaxy. We've been able to harness the lithium fusion in our sun to produce warp drive."

Libby: "How far away is that?"

Walt: "One hundred eight point four light years."

Libby: "Then how long did it take to get here?"

Walt: "Fifteen point eight years."

Libby: "Aha! How is that possible if you're only ten?"

Libby is proud at having caught the alien in a lie.

Walt: "Okay, you got me. I really am an alien spy. We figured no one looking like this would be suspected of being one."

Libby: "Aha! And what are your people's plans?"

Walt: "We're going to invade and take over Terra. I mean Earth. I'm an advance scout, checking the area for inhabitability. It's warm, but we can survive here."

Ana-Lucia: "So are you supposed to be sending your people a report? Looks like you might not be able to."

Walt: "If I don't report by the end of today, my planet's people will come over in force and wipe all of you out."

Goodwin: "When we found you were all tied up and gagged. If we didn't find you, you'd still be stumbling around like that. How could you make report then?"

Walt can't keep it up any longer and shouts: "I couldn't! Can't you tell when I'm being sarcastic? There is no such planet; I just made it all up!"

Eko: "You mean you lied to us?"

Walt: "Yes! If you're not going to believe the truth, what am I supposed to do?"

Eko holds his Jacob stick high and speaks in slow, thunderous tones. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor!"

Walt: _Good grief._ "I don't really consider you my neighbors."

Goodwin: "There isn't anybody closer to you now."

Ana-Lucia: "Lying to a police officer is a serious offense."

Eko: "You have admitted to bearing false witness. That is the first step to your redemption."

Walt: "I don't need redemption! This is crazy. And I am not a bad boy. Now could you please get me down? I told you everything."

Ana-Lucia examines Walt closely. She is not satisfied, and needs to ask more questions. "Are you sure you are not a bad boy? Now that you've lied for sure at least once, I can tell if you're lying."

Walt: "I'm good." _Oh oh, I have to admit that._ " I'm good now. I was kind of a brat when I first got here, but I got better. I just sort of burned my father's first raft when I didn't want to leave this island."

Goodwin: "So your father worked hard and long on this raft trying to rescue your group, and you torched it?"

Walt: "Yes."

Eko again holds his Jacob stick high in the air and pronounces: "Honor thy father and thy mother!"

Libby: "Don't forget, since the alien has already lied so many times what it's saying now probably isn't true."

Ana-Lucia: "Let's see if we can determine the truth. How did you burn that raft?"

Walt: "I took a fuse I found from the Purple Pebble pirate ship, buried it under the sand, and then dropped a match I swiped from Sawyer's tent on the far end of the fuse when I was in a net."

Eko: "Swiped? You took this match without permission?"

Walt: "Yeah, I …"

Eko: "Thou shalt not steal!"

Walt wants to protest, but realizes he is in a poor position to do so. "Well, I've been good since then."

Eko: "What did you do this past Sunday?"

Walt: "Sunday? I haven't been keeping track of the days."

Eko: "Thou shalt honor the Sabbath and keep it Holy!"

Walt: "Look, okay, I did some wrong stuff, but aren't you supposed to be forgiving? Please get me down from here, and is there a shirt or something I could have, at least slip over my head? I can't stand having this 'bad boy' thing showing all the time."

Libby: "No! That warning was put on you for a purpose, and the people of Earth can't risk anyone else not knowing about you."

Ana-Lucia: "And besides, we don't have any extra shirts." _Good thing with Eko and Goodwin around._

Eko: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's possessions!"

Walt: "Oh come on, what is it with you? Hey, I know, at least I never killed anyone or committed adultery."

Goodwin: "There may be hope for you yet, although you've done quite a few bad things."

Walt: "Yeah, I never realized I was such a sinner. I guess maybe I did deserve to hang upside-down for a while. But Jeez, this has been long enough."

Eko: " 'Jeez'? A corrupted form of 'Jesus'? Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain."

Walt loses it. "Arrrrrrrrgh!"

Walt twists and wriggles, a mass of legs and arms straining against the restraints. Soon a flock of black birds descends, and circles around. Eko waves his Jacob stick at them, but they keep on coming. Then there is a clap of thunder.

Eko: "Run away!"

Eko, Ana-Lucia, Libby, and Goodwin run back to the Arrow just as the storm hits. There is good news and bad news for Walt. First, the bad news: the flock of sixteen birds poops on him before flying away. Second, the good news: the heavy rains wash away all traces of the poop, and leave Walt refreshed and sparkling clean. However, the storm does not let up for any time soon.

* * *

Michael is waken by the tremendous rain storm, finding himself tangled up in the net on the ground. It takes him half an hour to get free of the device, but by that time the ground has become very muddy. As he throws the last corner of the net off him, he stumbles and lands on the ground on his stomach. He tries to push himself up with his arms, but instead his arms go straight into the mud. He tries to pull his arms out, but finds it awkward. After a little progress, he realizes,

_This rain makes for a wonderful massage. I can get out of this later; I'm not going to make real progress in this rain anyway. And if I don't struggle I won't sink any more._

Michael relaxes, and lets the pounding rain rejuvenate his overworked back. Then he falls asleep again.

* * *

Jin and Sun are searching through the jungle for Aaron. They don't find anything before the rains hit.

Sun: "I guess this isn't our episode."

Jin: "We can take advantage of this to speak in Korean."

Sun: "That's a good idea. We could use a break from all this English."

Jin hugs and kisses Sun in the rain, and then they head back, expressing their love for each other in Korean.

* * *

Ana-Lucia, Eko, Libby, and Goodwin return to the Arrow Station as the rain intensifies.

Cindy: "What did you find out?"

Libby: "I still believe he's an alien. He started to confess, then started lying, and when he got upset, all of a sudden this torrential downpour started."

Emma: "I think you're mistaken."

Eko: "If he is human, he is quite the sinner. He broke lots of commandments."

Zach: "That's not so strange; most of my friends at school do the same."

Ana-Lucia: "I was pretty convinced he was human until that rainstorm."

Bernard: "Couldn't that have been a coincidence?"

Libby: "There're been far too many coincidences with that being."

Emma: "I still think you're wrong. I'm going to see him when the rain stops."

Zach: "And even if he is an alien, he's not going to hurt us. It'll be fun to play with him and find out what he's learned about this island."

Emma: "Yes, and Mr. Eko, if Walt is a big sinner, isn't it your job to try to set him on the right path? He deserves another chance."

Eko is shaken by Emma's words.

Eko: "You do have a good point. We should try to save his soul after this storms ends."

* * *

The decision is that Charlie has suffered enough with the cliffhangers. Besides, Walt is still hanging, albeit not from a cliff.

* * *

Charlie's headlong dive is just in time to get his body in between Claire and the spear. The spear hits him in the heart … and bounces off.

Charlie: "Blimey! The arrowhead's made of rubber!"

Claire: "Oh Charlie! You were going to sacrifice yourself for me and Aaron! I … I love you!"

Charlie: "I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. But let me get you out of that."

Charlie picks up the spear, and uses the handle as a lever to force open the bear trap enough for Claire to get her foot out. They and everybody else who was searching goes back to the Swan.

Danielle sees what happens, and is convinced these people really don't know who Alex is. She tries to think of something else as she goes back to her bunker.


	34. Adrift in Suspicion

The fuselage passengers and Ben are all at the hatch to keep out of the driving rain. While Ben washes up in the bathroom, the rest consult.

Sayid: "I just don't trust this man. He doesn't look like he's been starving, and there's something about his face that reeks of duplicity."

Jack: "What do you think we should do?"

Sayid: "Don't let him think we suspect anything, but somebody must always keep an eye on him."

Hurley: "So instead of shifts to push the button, we need shifts to watch the creepy dude?"

Sayid: "Something like that will work. But we can't make it obvious."

Ben comes out of the bathroom as the beeper goes off. Rose enters the numbers as she anticipates becoming more important.

Ben: "What was that?"

Desmond: "The button we have to keep pushing every 104 to 108 minutes to save the world."

Ben: "That's … unbelievable."

Locke: "You had better believe it. You must have faith." _He didn't seem to think the button pushing was all that odd._

The group heads to the pantry for dinner. Claire moves close to Ben, and Aaron starts crying for no apparent reason.

Claire: "I'm sorry; my baby doesn't seem to like you." Claire stares at Ben. _Have I seen this guy before?_

Ben sidles away to avoid further questioning.

Charlie: "Claire, there's something wrong about that bloke."

Claire: "I think you're right. I'm keeping Aaron away from him."

Kate whispers to Jack, "See that? The baby senses something is wrong with the stranger. He isn't acting like a normal person, making faces and saying things like 'goo goo'."

Jack: "Definitely suspicious, but we should get real proof."

The storm continues, and every settles down in the hatch for the night.

* * *

It rains heavily the rest of the day and most of the night. Morning comes, and Emma and Zach are concerned. They get up and go over to where Walt is still hanging upside-down. While the words "BAD BOY" are still emblazoned on his front side, the heptagonal Dharpa logo has substantially faded from his back. Walt is still, but is clearly breathing.

Emma: "Good morning Walt, are you awake?"

Walt opens his eyes and yawns. He wiggles a little, and realizes he is still trapped. He is not in a good mood.

Walt: "No. Us aliens often sleep with our eyes open and talk."

Emma: "You don't have to be so grumpy. Is there something you'd like to get off your chest?"

Zach snickers.

Walt: "Very funny. I have every right to be grumpy. I just spent the entire last episode hanging upside-down from this stupid trap. "

Zach: "Cheer up. That symbol on your back has faded. I bet that means people won't think you're a bad boy much longer."

That makes Walt feel a little better. "Normal people maybe. Those people questioning me yesterday will be hard to convince."

Emma: "We'll convince them. Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?"

Walt: "I could eat. I was able to bend up and catch a lot of water in my mouth yesterday and last night."

Emma: "Bend up? Can you show us how?"

Walt: "Like this." Walt bends up from the waist, his body forming an L shape, and he catches some water dripping off leaves in his mouth. Then he settles back down.

Emma: "That was impressive. You have nice abs."

Walt: "Uh, thanks. So … are you going to get me down, and get me something to eat?"

Emma: "I guess we can see how this trap works."

Emma and Zach follow the rope cinching tight Walt's ankles over two branches, and to a net filled with boulders.

Zach: "These boulders are heavy, but maybe we can get these out together."

Emma: "I don't think we should risk hurting ourselves. Do you mind if we tell Walt they're too heavy?"

Zach laughs. "Admit that you like looking at him like that."

Emma: "Fine, I do."

Zach: "Okay then. But we should be nice to find him something to eat."

The siblings find a conveniently located banana tree, and pick some ripe bananas. They return to Walt.

Emma: "Sorry, there's a net full of boulders that are too heavy for us to move, but we did get some bananas."

Walt sighs. "That's okay, us aliens hang upside-down all the time; it's good for us. It stretches my spine, will make me taller, and the blood spends more time in my brain where it's needed."

Zach: "That does make a lot of sense. But can you eat upside-down like that?"

Walt: "Of course aliens can eat upside-down. Don't you know anything?"

Emma: "It's unclear that my brother knows anything. But I think you better sit up again to eat this."

Walt sighs, and sits up to let Emma feed him the banana. It takes some effort to hold the position, but he manages long enough before relaxing and hanging straight.

Zach belatedly realizes he was insulted. "What do you mean I don't know anything? I know you like looking at your boyfriend's muscles."

Emma is speechless.

Walt: "You have to expect that when you've got a body like mine." Walt squirms some more, flexing his arms and legs a little.

Zach: "Doesn't that rope digging into your ankles hurt? That's going to leave a big burn mark."

Walt: "Naw, I barely notice it when I hold still. And remember, once I get down, that will heal quickly because I'm an alien."

Emma: "You're such a kidder. I believe you when you say everyone heals quickly here."

Walt: "Yeah, thanks. It's just getting frustrating not being able to do anything about my position."

Emma: "It would be nice to see you smile like yesterday."

Walt: "For some reason I don't feel like smiling now."

Emma: "You said you were tied to a tree before. How did you get loose that time?"

Walt: "This guy Hurley tickled me with a black feather, and I squirmed so hard that the rope tying my hands burned through by rubbing it against the tree."

Zach bends down to the ground and picks up a black feather. "You mean like this?"

Walt realizes he may have made a serious mistake. "No, nothing at all like that."

Emma: "Hey, there're lots of those here. How did they get here?"

Walt: "Yesterday these birds came when I got upset from all that interrogation. You better leave those alone."

Emma can't resist, and picks up two feathers, one in each hand. "But I want to help you get out of that."

Walt: "It won't work this time; I've got metal handcuffs on now."

Zach picks up a second feather. Emma starts to walk slowly around Walt, and Zach picks up on her cue, also walking around the captive, keeping him surrounded by himself and Emma. Walt trembles in the anticipation of the upcoming attack, but it does not come. Emma and Zach keep inspecting the helpless prisoner, as if searching for weak points.

The suspense is driving Walt crazy. _Just get it over with._

After a few minutes Emma stops and drops her hands to her sides. "I'll bet you thought we were going to tickle you, right?"

Walt lets out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, you really had me going there. But you're good kids, and wouldn't torture a poor defenseless alien."

Emma: "Well, you were right the first time."

Emma springs into actions, stroking her feathers up Walt's sides. When Walt spins around, Zach tickles Walt's stomach with his feathers. Walt twists back, but Emma does not relent.

Walt is laughing quite hard. "Ha ha HA HA I can take this you fools I'm gonna get you for this."

Zach jams the ends of two feathers into the end of a bent stick so he can reach up and tickle Walt's feet. Walt lurches and jerks, but it is hopeless.

Walt: "HEE HEE HA HA stop it okay I'm an alien or whatever you want me to say."

Emma and Zach stop tickling Walt. He is breathing heavily, but wasn't near his breaking point.

Walt: "Why did you stop? I can take more of that."

Emma: "Because you asked us to."

Walt: "Oh. Not everyone does that."

Emma: "Besides, we accomplished our goal. You're smiling. And it's also kind of neat how that 'BAD' gets larger and smaller when you breathe."

Zach chuckles again.

Emma: It is impressive that you're holding up so well from being upside-down so long."

Walt: "Well, it happened before, so it's not a completely new experience. When I thought we were playing cops and robbers, I tried to escape, and Ethan caught me and hung me upside-down."

Emma: "For how long?"

Walt: "Just several minutes. He did swing me around like it was a punishment, but it was actually a lot of fun."

Zach: "You mean like this?" Zach takes Walt by the shoulders, pulls him back, and then pushes him forward so that Walt swings like a pendulum.

Walt: "No, he spun me, and sent me revolving around."

Emma: "I think he means like this."

Emma catches Walt at the top of his arc, and spins him a little, sending his body around in a circle. Zach catches on, and when Walt comes around, spins him harder.

Walt: "That was more like it, but Ethan is very strong. He spun me a lot harder than this."

Eko hears the noise and approaches. He furrows his brow at the sight. "What are you doing?"

Emma thinks quickly on her feet. "We're exorcising the alien sinner's demons."

Zach: "Yeah, that's right, but I don't think we're doing it well enough. Can you help?"

Eko: "It is my calling to help."

Eko seizes Walt by the shoulders, and spins and revolves him rather violently.

Eko: "Demons, take leave of this poor soul's body. Begone!"

Walt: "Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Walt is in a state of euphoria as his brain cannot process the wildly spinning images. His consternation over being helpless for so long vanishes. A wide grin breaks out over his face as he enjoys the spinning sensation.

After fifteen minutes Eko notices the change in Walt's facial expression.

Eko: "I believe we have been successful. Let's get the boy down now."

Emma and Zach show Eko where the net of boulders is. With his great strength, though not quite the same super strength of Ethan, he removes enough boulders so that Walt is slowly lowered to the ground. Emma and Zach help Walt so he doesn't hit his head hard. Once Walt's body is completely on the ground, Eko comes back and loosens the rope around his ankles. There are deep rope burns, but no one is concerned.

Eko stands Walt up, but Walt falls immediately on his stomach. Walt is far too dizzy to stand.

Walt: "Ha ha ha, I've fallen and I can't get up, and I don't care."

Zach is jealous of Walt having such a good time.

Zach: "That looks like fun. Mr. Eko, can you spin me like that?"

Emma likes the prospect. "Yes Mr. Eko, I think that's a good idea. My brother probably also has demons."

Eko: "Very well. Whatever I can do to help."

Zach scoots over so that his feet go in the loop of the rope, and Emma gladly tightens it, though it is nowhere near as tight as it was on Walt. Eko then puts a couple boulders back into the net, enough to lift Zach off the ground. Upside-down, Zach's shirt falls so that it is bunched up and hanging over his chin, and blocking his face.

Zach: "Whoops, let me fix this."

Zach tried to tuck in his shirt, but stretched out upside-down it won't stay. Walt vision begins to clear, and he whispers to Emma.

Walt: "I got an idea to get back at Zach."

Walt explains his idea, and Emma replies,

Emma: "I was sort of thinking of something like that."

Emma goes over to Zach, and says: "Let me help you with that."

Emma grabs Zach's shirt, twists it, pulls it most of the way off, and then ties part of it around Zach's hands.

Zach: "Hey, what are you doing?"

Walt rolls over onto his side. "The experience is stronger if your hands are tied."

Zach is doubtful, but Emma pulls his shirt the rest of the way over his head and ties another knot around his hands. Zach twists his hands, but can't get the knot loose. He tries to hit Emma, but it is too awkward and she easily steps back.

Zach: "How did this happen?"

Emma: "You deserve it. Too bad there isn't any paint here to write something on you."

Then Eko returns. Again he is a bit surprised at the sight, but reasons that if Zach is distressed, he will let Eko know. Zach doesn't want to admit what just happened.

Eko: "Are you ready?"

Zach: "Yes. It feels weird, with the blood rushing to my brain."

Emma: "Probably because it's never been there before."

Eko draws Zach back, and spins him around like he did Walt. Within seconds Zach has forgotten his embarrassing position and experiences the thrill of the ride.

Zach: "Whhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

After another fifteen minutes Zach has had enough. He struggles to get his hands free.

Emma laughs: "Your muscles sure are a lot smaller than Walt's."

Zach: "So what, he's a couple years older than me. But I can do this."

Zach strains, twisting and pulling, trying to get his hands free of the knotted shirt. Then suddenly, it rips and the pieces float to the ground. Zach laughs deliriously, makes the best of the situation, and beats his chest.

"I told you I could get out of that."

Walt: "Those pieces might make a nice headband."

Eko: "I think that's enough. Time to get back to the shelter."

Eko removes some boulders to let Zach down. Zach manages to untie his feet, but is quite delirious and too dizzy to stand. Eko picks Zach and Walt up and carries them toward the bunker, but is met by the rest of the tail-section group.

Ana-Lucia: "What is going on?"

Emma: "We exorcised the demons from the boys."

Goodwin is getting concerned. "If that is true, then they won't mind a little stay in the pit just to be sure."

Walt and Zach are still too dizzy to protest. Eko lowers them down, but the cover is left open.

Cindy: "What do you think?"

Eko: "I think the boy Walt is human. He lost his way, but is soul is on the way to recovery. He may have infected Zach, but I believe that is under control."

Libby: "I still say Walt is an alien. He must have been hanging upside-down for the better part of a day and had a silly grin on his face just now."

Bernard: "I believe there are enough votes to declare Walt human. When the boys have recovered we should set out for this beach camp he spoke of."

Ana-Lucia: "I'm inclined to agree. It sounded like it will be a full day's hike. We should leave tomorrow at dawn."

Goodwin thinks, _I can't allow that to happen. I must act quickly._

* * *

Back in Othersville, plans are made.

Juliet: "You bungled the opportunity to bring Sawyer and Jack and the less relevant people here. We are going to have to go with Ben's plan. Tom, I want you and Danny to meet up with Mikhail, and find Michael Dawson and bring him here. It's a large island, but that never a problem when we really need to meet someone."

Bea: "Who put you in charge?"

Juliet: "Do you have anything better in mind?"

Bea: "No, just don't go crazy and be sure to bring Michael in alive."

Tom: "I've got just the thing. A bola, that thing with three rocks attached to cords that wraps around the victim's legs when you throw it right."

Danny: "What about tranquilizer darts?"

Juliet: "Whatever, just find him and bring in him."

Tom and Danny go off searching. They carry walkie-talkies, so Tom goes mainly south and Danny to the southeast, which turns out to be the direction Michael is coming from.

* * *

Michael wakes up in the middle of the day, his arms buried in the earth. He struggles a bit and frees himself, and remembers his mission in life.

"WAAAAALLLLT!"

Upon not getting a response, Michael slogs to the northwest. However, his yelling alerts Danny to where he is, and makes it easy for Danny to ambush him. Danny shoots Michael with a dart, and then tries to carry him back to Othersville. Danny doesn't get far, finding Michael too heavy to carry. Danny calls his comrades on the walkie-talkie.

Danny: "Tom! Mikhail! I found Dawson and knocked him out. I need you to help bring him back."

Mikhail: "Where are you?"

Danny: "About four miles southeast of our Village."

Mikhail: "That will take me the rest of the day to get there."

Danny: "Then get moving."

Tom: "I'm a little closer, see you soon."

While waiting, Danny ties up Michael and takes his rifle.

* * *

The main group decides to go to the beach, leaving Jin and Sun to push the button. Out of nowhere Vincent comes rushing up. He is concerned that Walt is not around, nor even Michael. He trots up to Shannon as his third choice.

Shannon: "Hey Vincent, where have you been? Do you know where Walt is?"

Vincent barks, but doesn't attempt to lead anyone in a certain direction. Shannon gets an idea.

Shannon: "I know: Vincent can lead us to Walt by picking up his scent from his old shirt."

Sayid: "That won't work. Vincent is a retriever, not a bloodhound."

Shannon: "So we'll just have him retrieve Walt."

Sawyer: "Makes as much sense as anything else around here."

Boone: "Is that shirt really still around?"

Kate: "It should be near Michael's tent … here it is … ugh!"

Kate holds her nose. "Shannon, it was your idea, you pick it up."

Shannon holds her nose, and picks up the end of the putrid and largely decomposed shirt with a stick. She brings it toward Vincent.

Sayid: "Shannon, Walt hasn't worn that shirt in over a month, and with the rainstorms there's no way there's any scent left on that thing."

Boone gets an urge to defend Shannon. "It can't hurt to try."

Vincent sniffs the shirt, and recoils. It appears that he frowns. He looks around, trots over to Ben, and growls.

Jack: "Very interesting. Have you been around Walt lately?"

Ben: "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm sorry if one of your people is missing."

Sayid: "Remember Vincent is not a bloodhound. This doesn't mean anything."

When Ben is far away, Sayid announces, "I'm sure he's guilty of something. He needs to be locked up until he tells us the truth."

Sawyer: "Where are we going to lock Bug Eyes up?"

Locke: "There's a room in the hatch that will serve that purpose very well. Let's act like nothing's going on, and then shove him in there tonight when we go back for more food."

Jack: "Since we're done with that old shirt, I suggest we burn it. The odors emanating from it could be a health hazard."

Shannon: "Okay." Shannon walks over to a fire and tosses the shirt and stick into it.

After that, they all go about their business for the rest of the day, and then execute their plan. When they are back at the Swan, Sayid and Sawyer team up and shove Ben into a small room, and lock the door with a combination lock on a chain.

Ben: "Why did you do that?"

Sayid: "Because we know you're one of them."

Ben: "I tell you I'm not."

Sayid: "We don't believe you. See you in the morning."

* * *

Tom reaches Danny in a few hours, and then an hour later so does Mikhail.

Danny: "All right, let's carry him."

The three pick up Michael, but it is awkward going up hills and through dense woods as the daylight wanes.

Tom: "This is silly. Wake him up, untie his feet, and make him walk."

Tom drops Michael, and tries to shake him awake. Michael doesn't stir.

Tom: "What did you do to him?"

Danny: "Just shot him with a dart."

Mikhail: "How potent was it?"

Danny: "It should have been for four hours … oopsy, looks like it's actually sixteen hours. I accidentally gave him the extra strong dose."

Tom: "Wonderful. We'll just have to camp here for the night."

* * *

The tail-end group gets Emma and Zach out of the pit, and leaves Walt down there. They gather provisions throughout the day in preparation of the next day's journey. Emma comes down to feed Walt before sunset. She finds Walt squirming, as if still trying to get out of the handcuffs, and is concerned.

Emma: "How are you feeling now?"

Walt: "Oh, I'm okay physically, but my chest just started itching and I can't reach it."

Emma: "You poor thing. Let me help."

Emma scratches Walt's chest, and notices something. "Hey, those letters are fading. That's probably what's causing it."

Walt: "They are? That's great. Aaaahhhh."

Emma: "If it really is those letters wearing off, isn't your abdomen itching too?"

Walt: "Yes, but that might be ticklish."

Emma: "I'll be careful."

Emma gently scratches Walt all over the letters. It doesn't tickle except when her fingertips run over the lower portion of the "B-O-Y" and Walt's nipples.

Emma: "Is that good?"

Walt: "That's better, but … can you scratch harder? This has to last all night."

Emma: "No problem." Emma does not mind scratching Walt harder. Walt feels much better, and it is worth the occasional tickles.

Walt: "Thanks a lot. I'm not itching any more."

Emma: "You're most welcome. Will you be okay now?"

Walt: "Yes, but I'm just feeling stupid stuck down here. This reminds of a book we read in that Book Club, "The Pit and the Pendulum." It was if that book forecast something."

Emma: "Well, this is the last day you have to spend down here. It will be better tomorrow."

Walt: "It better be. I'd hate to see how things could get worse."

Emma feeds Walt some fruit and rubs his shoulders so he will be able to sleep. She then climbs up the ladder, and Libby and Goodwin are there to close the pit cover.


	35. Lockdownright Ridiculous

At midnight, Goodwin puts his plan into action. Without waking anyone else, he goes from the Arrow Station to the pit. He opens the cover, places the ladder against an edge, and climbs down. He shakes Walt.

Goodwin: "Walt, wake up. We have to get out of here."

Walt: "What? What's happening?"

Goodwin: "Libby convinced the others that we shouldn't have interfered. They're going to leave you the way we found you."

Walt: "You mean, all tied up and gagged? But I thought I convinced enough of them that I was telling the truth."

Goodwin: "They were acting to get your guard down. Now come on."

Goodwin puts an arm around Walt and helps him up the ladder. Goodwin then takes the ladder out and puts the cover over the pit back in place, the way he found it. Goodwin then scratches a message in the dirt: "Help, Alien Walt is abducting me!" It is too dark for Walt to see what Goodwin is doing.

Goodwin takes Walt by the arm. "Come on, this way."

Walt: "Where are we going?"

Goodwin: "To that beach camp you described."

Walt: "Good, thank you for rescuing me."

Goodwin: "It was the right thing to do."

They go through the dark woods. Goodwin has excellent night vision, but Walt's night vision has been developing rapidly since he has been on the island. Goodwin takes Walt on a convoluted path to confuse him.

Walt: "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

Goodwin: "Yes. We've been at that shelter for a while, and know our way around."

A little before dawn, they are at the sonic security fence.

Walt is alarmed. "Hey, we went back toward those Others' village!"

Goodwin: "Sorry about this, but I assure you it was necessary. At least here no one thinks you're an alien."

Goodwin gently pushes Walt to the ground. As usual, the handcuffs prevent Walt from making effective resistance. Goodwin enters the security code, then picks up Walt, carries him inside the perimeter, and resets the code. Grasping Walt's arm firmly, he marches Walt into the DeGroovy building.

* * *

In the morning, the tail-end group wakes up, to find Goodwin missing.

Ana-Lucia: "This doesn't look good. Reminds me of Nathan."

Cindy: "Who remembers Nathan?"

Eko: "He was the one that was abducted very early on. Remember he had a red shirt?"

Cindy: "Oh right. So you think the same thing happened to Goodwin?"

Libby: "I think we better check on the alien."

Emma: "Walt is not an alien, but I'd like to see him anyway."

Zach: "Of course you do."

They all go over to the pit. It looks normal at first, but Walt is not down there.

Libby: "I knew it! The alien used its powers and kidnapped Goodwin."

Bernard: "Don't be ridiculous. It had to be the other way around. Walt was in handcuffs and this pit cover was tied down. There's no way he could have abducted a healthy grown man."

Ana-Lucia: "That does seem unlikely. But we should look for evidence."

They search the area, and find Goodwin's message scratched out in the dirt.

Libby: "I told you so! Here, read this: 'Help, Alien Walt is abducting me!' "

Bernard: "That doesn't prove anything. If he really was being kidnapped, he probably wouldn't have been able to write a message like that."

Cindy: "Does anyone know if that's his handwriting?"

Eko: "Why would Walt leave such a message?"

Bernard: "I've had it! I'm going south to where Walt said their camp was, and I don't care if anyone comes with me."

Ana-Lucia: "We should stick together. It's obviously still very dangerous here."

Emma: "We'll go with you. They might have gone to Walt's camp."

Zach: "Yeah. We should go somewhere; maybe we'll find them."

Cindy: "I've had enough of this place. If we just stay here, more bad things may happen."

Libby: "All right, but we have to be careful. And if we don't find anything in a few days, we can come back here."

They all gather their supplies and begin the long trek to the south.

* * *

Inside the DeGroovy building Room 15, Goodwin forces Walt to sit in a chair with his arms behind the chair's back, and tries to contact Ben. Upon getting no answer, he calls Bea.

Goodwin: "Bea? Goodwin here."

Bea: "Goodwin? Where have you been all this time?"

Goodwin: "On assignment with those tail-end people. I've learned all I can about them, but had to come back here now."

Bea: "Did it have to take so long?"

Goodwin: "I wanted to do a great job. And besides, that Cindy is a real fox. She accidentally tore off my shirt when the smoke monster appeared."

Goodwin gives a summary of what he has seen the last fifty days, and then adds, "By the way, did you lose a certain bad boy?"

Bea: "You found Walt! That's wonderful. I'll be right there."

Dead tired from being up most of the night, Walt just sits in the chair and tries to regain his strength.

Bea arrives, and talks to Goodwin.

Bea: "Thank goodness you found him. He has some kind of powers, and we've been testing him, but he escaped."

Goodwin: "Yes, he told us all about it. But where's Ben?"

Bea: "Ben went to look for Walt, and we haven't heard from him in a while. There is a plan to get him back though. How did you know to bring Walt here?"

Goodwin: "He had the Dharpa logo painted on his back. That was very clever of you."

Bea: "It was actually an accident. We tied him to a chair with wet paint. But we need to examine him to make sure he's all right. I'll notify Juliet and Ethan."

Bea finds Ethan is well enough to walk, and he gets up from his infirmary bed, and they make their way back to Room 15. Juliet arrives, and is upset to find Walt in handcuffs.

Juliet: "Why did you handcuff the poor kid again?"

Goodwin: "What do you mean again? That's how we found him, and we didn't have a key."

Juliet: "You mean he's been handcuffed for four days?"

Ethan: "I don't blame Goodwin. Walt's a very dangerous character."

Juliet: "Where is the key?"

Ethan: "It last was in my pack. Is that still in the infirmary?"

Juliet: "Yes, I'll get it."

Juliet rushes off to the infirmary, finds the pack and handcuff key, returns and unlocks the cuffs.

Walt breathes a sigh of relief, and rubs his shoulders. Then he becomes more alert.

Bea: "Walt, we have to examine you to make sure you're all right after your ordeal."

Walt: "You are not examining me!"

Bea sighs. "Are you going to let us examine you the easy way, or do we have to strap you down to the examination table over there?"

Walt looks at the table with straps at the sides. _That doesn't look bad compared to what I've already been through, and the way things are going I'm bound to get strapped to that table anyway. May as well get one good shot in._ Walt turns suddenly and hits Goodwin in the jaw. Ethan and Goodwin then wrestle Walt onto the table on his back, and Bea straps him in with his arms at his sides, tightening four strong black straps across his chest, waist, knees and ankles. The straps are buckled at the sides and below the table, so Walt can't possibly reach them. On this occasion Walt remembers to his expand his chest as the highest strap is being buckled, but he acts like he can't move.

Juliet: "Walt, why did you have to do that? Was it worth it?"

Walt: "Yes it was, hitting Goodwin really felt good. And this isn't so bad; I might be able to escape from this … ugh."

Walt tries to lift himself up and gets nowhere. "Or maybe not. But it will be more comfortable sleeping like this."

Juliet shakes her head, but then gets on with the physical examination. Ethan gives directions, as he is still a bit sore from the encounter with the orange smoke monster.

Juliet: "Walt, you are about a centimeter taller, with more muscle and less body fat. Your reflexes, pulse and blood pressure are fine. You have no cuts or bruises or anything like that. It just seems that you are growing at a very fast rate."

Walt, sarcastic: "Wonderful."

Bea: "Now that we know Walt is in good shape, there is another matter to attend to."

Juliet: "You mean …"

Bea: "I'm afraid so. You need to be punished for running away."

Ethan: "And for causing my injuries."

Walt, apprehensive: "So what is it going to be?"

Bea: "Since Ben isn't here, there is another person who will be responsible for that. It is our sheriff, and her name is Isabel."

Juliet winces, and Walt notices.

Walt: "What is this Isabel like?"

Bea: "She makes Ethan look like Juliet."

Ethan: "Should one of us be insulted? I get along fine with Isabel."

Juliet: "That may have been a dig at me; I'm not sure."

Bea: "I'm not sure either. Let me call Isabel."

Bea calls Isabel, and explains the situation.

Bea: "Isabel says she has to deliberate for a few hours, probably four since that's such a special number. We'll come back then."

Walt: "Hey, since the physical exam is over, can't you unstrap me now?"

Ethan: "Why should we break character now?"

Juliet: "And some other characters need more screen time."

Walt: "Good point; I guess I wasn't thinking. But isn't it kind of ridiculous to keep me tied down for four hours?"

Bea, Ethan, Juliet, and Goodwin consult. Bea then addresses Walt.

Bea: "You're right, it is ridiculous. The timing is way off. People are moving distances and doing things that can't possibly be accomplished in four hours. You shall remain here for eight hours, and then face your punishment."

Walt opens his mouth, and then reasons, _If I complain again, I'll be here for fifteen hours._

Walt: "Okay, so I'll just lie here the next eight hours. I could use the nap; I didn't get much sleep last night. But wow, these straps are tight."

Ethan: "We wouldn't want you to fall off and get hurt."

Walt: "That's very thoughtful of you."

Bea: "Have some juice to hold you over."

Bea pours a glass of orange juice into Walt's mouth.

Walt: "Thank you, you're too kind."

Bea, Ethan, and Goodwin leave, with Ethan going to his house to get a shirt and to finish recuperating, and Goodwin also going to his house to get a shirt and to rest up. Juliet stays behind for a moment.

Walt: "I know you're nicer than the other Others; can you please loosen the straps a little?"

Juliet: "Walt, I have to make this look good. If I show any signs of leniency toward you, they'll put me in a position where I can't help you when you really need it." _And that will delay my chances of meeting with the interesting men from your camp._

Walt: "I could use some help now."

Juliet: "But you aren't uncomfortable now, right?"

Walt: "Actually, this kind of feels like I'm being hugged. It's a lot better than having my hands tied or cuffed behind my back."

Juliet: "Good. Then I'll be leaving now; I have things to do. And if I have to participate in Isabel's punishment, know that I'm doing to keep up appearances."

Walt: "I understand. See you later."

As Walt hoped, Juliet leaves Room 15. When the door is closed, Walt shrugs his shoulders, and expands and contracts his chest, gaining a little leeway for his arms. Then he makes a big yawn, and realizes that he hasn't nearly the energy for an escape attempt at the moment, having spent half the night hiking through the jungle while handcuffed. _I need to be at full strength for this. I'll get a little nap, and then escape again._

* * *

Back at the Swan Station, a disembodied female voice is heard: "Lockdown in forty-two minutes."

Boone: "What is that? Should we panic?"

Desmond: "No, that just means some supplies are coming, but we're going to be locked inside for a little while."

Voice: "Lockdown in twenty-three minutes."

Sayid: "That was not nineteen minutes since the first message."

Shannon: "It wasn't nineteen seconds."

Desmond: "That thing doesn't have a good sense of time."

Voice: "Lockdown in sixteen minutes."

Kate: "What's a lockdown?"

Desmond: "These blast doors are going to come down and seal us in. Otherwise we don't get the supplies."

Voice: "Lockdown in fifteen minutes."

Claire: "Those last two messages were about the right time apart. For some reason it reminds me of when I was having contractions."

Locke: "But what if the computer beeper goes off?"

Voice: "Lockdown in eight minutes."

Desmond: "Duh, we just make sure someone is next to the computer when it happens."

Charlie: "What a relief. I was afraid someone might have to crawl through vents or something."

Voice: "Lockdown in four minutes."

Sawyer: "Is someone at the computer now?"

Boone: "I'll save you!"

Boone runs into the computer room, but Jin, Sun, and Rose are sitting there calmly.

Voice: "Lockdown commencing. Please stand clear of the descending blast doors and don't get crushed like a complete doofus."

Several thick metal blast doors descend, cutting off the computer room from the other rooms in the Swan, and also sealing the exterior exit. Lights flicker and go and out.

Hurley: "Dude, you forgot to mention this power outage thing."

Desmond: "Brutha, I got so used to it, I don't even think about it."

Kate: "How long does this lockdown last?"

Desmond: "I timed it once, and it lasted twenty-three minutes and forty-two seconds."

Hurley: "Of course it did."

The lights flicker, and a map shows up on the blast door the largest group can see.

Jack: "Is that a map of this island?"

Desmond: "Aye, but it isn't to perfect scale, and some of the things might be jokes."

Locke: "It says here there are stations named the Staff, Flame, Arrow, Pearl, Looking Glass, Tempest, Orchid, and some numbers, CV one, CV four, …"

Sayid: "C4 is an explosive."

Locke: "Cool, maybe we get to blow up stuff. That fake dynamite from the pirate ship was a big disappointment."

Kate: "It also says 'there be dragons here'."

Locke: "Who made this map?"

Desmond: "Kelvin told me he and this guy before him, Radzinsky, did."

Hurley: "Hey, whatever happened to Kelvin? That's a forgotten plot line."

Desmond: "Dropped plot lines happen all the time. Kelvin just disappeared one day, and I never saw him after that, more than two years ago. He told me that Radzinsky went insane, and disappeared also."

Jack: "It is within the realm of medical possibility that this place could drive one insane."

Shannon: "Isn't it neat how we're having a lockdown and we have someone here named Locke?"

Locke: "Wow, I never thought of that. Did anyone else?"

Everyone else shakes their heads no.

The beeper goes off.

Locke shouts at the blast door: "Can you hear us in there? Is it under control?"

Boone: "No, the door is too thick to hear through."

Shannon: "Bummer."

Boone: "Shan, that was a joke … oh never mind."

Jin and Sun work as a team, pressing buttons alternately, and let Rose push the execute button. The beeping stops. A minute later the blast doors go up, and the lights come back on.

Desmond "Time to get the supplies."

Claire and Charlie take a turn on computer duty, while Desmond leads the rest outside to where a parachute has dropped many boxes of supplies.

Sayid: "What is in these crates?"

Desmond: "Food, mostly."

Hurley: "Awesome."

Kate: "How about clothes?"

They inspect the crates, but don't find any new clothes or clothing material. Among the supplies dropped is a five-gallon container of gasoline and a tire pump.

Sawyer: "So Mr. Fortuneteller, why would need these? You got a car hidden around somewhere?"

Desmond: "It probably foreshadows something, but we don't have any roads here."

Hurley: "An all-terrain vehicle would be sweet."

They all begin to gather the crates and lug them back to the Swan.

* * *

Bea calls Tom on the walkie-talkie.

Bea: "Good news, Goodwin returned with Walt, and the boy is secured now."

Tom: "What should we do with Michael here?"

Bea: "The plan hasn't changed. Put him in the cage his son was in. We may need the old man to get Ben back."

Tom: "Got it." _And I going to have me a little fun._

Tom pours some water on Michael's face, waking him up. Michael is not pleased to find himself tied up on the ground. "Who are you? What do you want?"

Tom: "We don't answer the questions. But what I wanted was to use this thing called on a bola on you. Unfortunately my colleague shot you first."

Michael "How does that work?"

Tom: "I'll show you." Tom unties Michael's feet, but leaves his hands tied behind his back."

Danny: "What are you doing? We can't let him get away."

Michael runs, and Tom twirls his bola with the three large stones attached to cords. Tom throws it at Michael, and misses. Tom resorts to his backup plan, and shouts.

Tom: "Hey, we can tell you about Walt."

Michael freezes, and then turns around. "Tell me, where is he? Why did you take him?"

Tom: "First you have to let me use this thing on you."

Tom retrieves the bola, and Michael realizes he won't get far with his hands tied. Tom winds up again, and this time the bola wraps around Michael's legs and brings Michael down.

Tom: "That was so much fun."

Michael: "Whatever. Now tell me about Walt."

Tom: "He's safe with us now. He was a bad boy and ran away, but he's back."

Michael: "Take me to him!"

Tom: "That isn't up to me, but we'll see."

Mikhail: "Let's go then. But he has to be blindfolded."

Danny: "Of course." Danny takes a hood out of his pack and puts it on Michael's head.

Michael: "What? Who carries such a thing around?"

Tom: "It's standard for us to bring rope and good blindfolds when we may encounter threats. You can't be too careful out here."

They being the long march back to Othersville. They don't make good speed due to Michael being tied and blindfolded.

* * *

Walt wakes up after about seven hours. Unsurprisingly, he is still strapped to the examination table.

_I'm alone, good. Now's my chance._

Walt wriggles and twists, expands and contracts his chest and stomach, and slowly gains leeway for his arms. With a real chance of escaping, he is excited and having fun. In fifteen minutes he manages to pull one hand free from the strap around his waist, and quickly after that the other hand. More twisting and squirming follows, and in another quarter hour he pulls one arm free from the strap around his chest, and again quickly gets the other arm out. He reaches to the side of the table, and fumbles with the buckles. It takes eight minutes to get the top strap undone, and four minutes for the next one. Now he sits up, and unbuckles the straps around his knees and ankles. It has taken forty-two minutes to free himself, and he beams with pride.

He tries the door, and finds it unlocked. He opens it quietly, and steps into the hall. He can hear people in one direction, so he goes in the opposite direction. There are footsteps coming from the end of that corridor, so he opens the nearest door and enters a new windowless room, failing to notice the door was numbered 23.

The lights are off, and he doesn't want to give himself away be letting the Others see light at the crack at the bottom of the door. Consequently he closes the door behind him, and waits in the dark. He listens at the door, and the footsteps come closer, and stop. He is unaware he was continuously observed, usually by Bea who was enraptured by his struggle to free himself from the straps, and never had a chance to escape the building. On the plus side, he did get credit for passing one test by escaping the exam table.


	36. Room 23

Isabel arrives at Room 23 where Bea and Ethan are waiting.

Isabel: "What is Walt's status?"

Bea: "Despite everything he's in perfect shape. All readings are normal for him and there is not a mark on him."

Isabel: "Good. Ethan, go inside and string him up."

Ethan opens the door quickly, and Walt turns to run away, but freezes when he sees what is in "The Room." He gasps at what looks like a torture chamber. The room contains a rack, stocks, something that looks like a glass telephone booth, several cages of different sizes, and whips mounted on the walls. Walt gathers his thoughts.

_This is just for show. I know they can't hurt me. They're trying to scare me, and it won't work. I'll just pretend to be scared. And besides, now they know that that crazy smoke monster thing may hurt them if they do anything too objectionable to me._

Walt bravely faces his adversaries. "What are you going to do to me?"

Isabel: "You need to be a taught a lesson, and our other attempts to convince you to behave have not succeeded."

Walt: "You know Ben said you're not allowed to hurt me."

Isabel: "Ben isn't here."

Ethan suddenly produces a long piece of rope. "Hold your hands out in front of you."

Walt complies without thinking. Bea's hypnotic directive about Walt liking opportunities to escape is still in force. Besides, it's something of a relief to have his hands tied in front of him instead of behind his back, and he thinks he will have a better chance to escape. However, Ethan binds Walt's hands quite tightly, despite Walt tensing his wrists during the process.

Ethan throws the other end of the rope over a beam near the 23-foot high ceiling. He then catches the end, tosses that over another beam, and then pulls, lifting Walt with his hands tied over his head half a meter off the floor in the center of the room. Ethan ties the end to an eye bolt secured to a wall. Walt acts like he is helpless, but is already plotting his next escape.

Walt: "Okay, you got me. I've learned my lesson, and I don't want to be strung up like this again. Now can you please let me go?"

Ethan guffaws. Isabel replies.

Isabel: "We know you're a lot tougher than that. Now just hang tight until your punishment is determined."

Walt tries to act innocent. "You mean this isn't the punishment?"

Isabel: "Don't act dumb. See you in a little while."

Walt: "I'm not acting!" _Wait a minute. What did I say? _"I mean … Don't you know that if you make me too upset, the smoke monster thing may come and hurt you?"

Isabel: "The smoke monster cannot penetrate our sonic security barrier."

Isabel and Ethan leave the room, leaving Bea alone with Walt.

Walt tries appealing to Bea. "Bea, are you really going to let them leave me like this? I promise I'll be good."

Walt wriggles his hands a little and pulls himself up a tiny amount before falling back down to give the impression he is helpless.

The sight of Walt suspended by his arms is unsettling for Bea, but she composes herself. She admires his athletic form for a couple minutes, pretending she is considering the options and giving Walt false hope.

Bea: "I know you will find this hard to understand, but this is for the greater good. Sometimes a little tough love is necessary."

Bea gives Walt a playful little punch in the stomach, where the skin is stretched taut across his ribs. Walt swings back and forth a little.

Bea: "Now can you take what is coming to you like a man?"

Walt reverts back to an aversion of not being considered tough.

Walt: "Of course I can. But you people are crazy. You probably drank the same water that Libby did."

Bea shakes her head. "Some day you will understand why all this is necessary."

Bea leaves, locking the door behind them. Walt is encouraged, as now he can set about a new escape.

* * *

After a few hours all of the supplies are safely stored in the Swan Hatch. The fuselage passengers put all the new food in the pantry, which is practically overflowing.

A pounding comes from a locked room.

Ben: "Hey, have you forgotten about me?"

Jack: "No, but I'm afraid if we pay too much attention to you, you will dominate future events, and then the rest of us, especially me, won't get enough of a chance to shine."

Ben: "Can we make a deal?"

Jack: "Are you going to confess that you're part of those Others, and tell us why you kidnapped Walt? If I get important answers like that I'll impress everyone. _Especially Kate._

Ben: "I won't confess to something that isn't true."

Jack: "Then maybe we'll see you tomorrow."

Jack goes over to Sayid.

Jack: "Got any ideas on how to make Henry talk?"

Sayid: "Nothing that we haven't already done. No one wants to see the same thing over and over."

Jack: "Sounds good enough. We can leave him in there until he feels like saying something."

Excited over all the new fresh food, everyone except Ben present eats dinner at the Swan.

Hurley, Shannon, and Boone are sitting at one table. Hurley pours himself some milk from a carton, and Shannon notices a picture on it.

Shannon: "Why would they have a picture of a starving African child on a milk carton sent here? We're not in a good position to make charitable contributions here."

Boone: "That's not a starving child; it says a missing child."

Shannon: "But he's wearing only a loincloth, and looks sad … I guess you're right; he doesn't look starving. But why would they show that picture?"

Boone: "You're right, that doesn't make sense. Usually on one of those it's 'last seen wearing …' Wait a minute, did you see his face?"

Shannon takes a closer look at the milk carton. "That's Walt! What is he doing as a missing person on a milk carton?"

Boone: "That doesn't make sense. I mean, he's missing, but who would advertise that?"

Hurley grabs the carton back. "Dudes, they're messing with our minds. Trying to drive us crazy. Don't let them get to you."

The conversation has drawn some attention.

Jack: "Hurley may have a point."

Sawyer: "Yeah, those stooges at the blue line said the kid was okay, and they looked honest to me."

Kate can't admit that with her life experiences she's good at telling honest people from dishonest types. "Yes, I'm sure they were telling the truth."

Sawyer: "And notice how nice it's been since Crusoe and Friday left us? The old man was going nuts, and it might have spread."

Sayid: "We need to consider our course of action. And maybe Henry will give us more information by tomorrow."

Charlie: "Are you sure that's his real name? I'm getting to the point where I don't believe anything he says."

Sayid: "Good point. But we shouldn't let him know that we suspect that. Wait him out long enough and he may lower his guard."

Claire: "Can you believe they gave us so much peanut butter?"

Sayid: "That's quite a non-sequitur."

Charlie: "But it is a more pleasant subject. Peanut butter sandwiches are good."

Hurley: "And there's the option of jelly now."

Desmond: "If you don't know what to do, and have a lot of time, we could try to fix my boat."

After the big meal, no one feels like hiking to the beach afterward.

* * *

Left alone in Room 23, Walt analyzes the situation. It doesn't look good at first glance, but this is the Waltinator. There is only the one door, but there is a ventilation duct high on one wall.

_How can I get there? If I move some of the stuff under that duct, I can throw this rope over that beam, and climb up there. Of course I have to get out of this first._

Walt does a pull-up, and attacks the knot binding his hands with his teeth. He loosens the knot a little over the course of a minute, but it is not enough and his strength gives out. He has to hang at full length to catch his breath.

Walt tries another pull-up, and this time he bites the rope over the knot, trying to hold it firmly enough to climb it, but finds he can't. He then chews on the knot, but loosens it only very little as he settles back down. On his next attempt, he finds he doesn't have the strength for another pull-up, and is frustrated as his weight forces his arms to extend fully.

His next idea is to swing his legs over his head to catch the rope. After a couple of tries, he succeeds, and curled in a ball with his feet over his head. He moves his hands up a few centimeters on the rope, and then tries to move his feet up, but finds that impossible. Soon he loses his grip and his legs slip backwards, curling his back to the maximum with his knees by his ears. It takes a few seconds to pull his legs out of this awkward position, and then his legs swing back down into a vertical position. He swings for a few minutes, kicking feebly with his feet, but now believes he really can't escape.

_Crud, I can't get out of this. What are they going to do? They wouldn't really whip me, would they? They can't; when Ben gets back he'd see the wounds and they'd get in trouble. Unless … I heal fast again. At least I'll be taller after this; I'm sure my spine has been stretching._

* * *

Tom, Danny, and Mikhail bring Michael back to Othersville a little after dark. Michael has been tied and blindfolded the whole way. The Others put him in the cage Walt had occupied a week before, and then take off the blindfold and untie him. They lock him in the cage, and give him some food.

Michael: "So we're here, now where's Walt?"

Tom: "I told you, that's not up to us. We'll find out more in the morning."

Michael: "What kind of an answer is that? Sounds like you're making this up as we go along."

Mikhail: "How did you catch on?"

Michael: "You guys are acting so disorganized, like you don't know what you're going to do."

Tom: "I guess we should take acting lessons."

Danny: "Stop answering the prisoner's questions." Then facing Michael, "And you keep quiet. If you yell 'WAAAALLLLT' one more time I'm shooting you with another tranq dart."

Michael seethes, and pulls on the bars of the cage, but exhaustion overcomes him and he settles down to sleep after Tom, Danny, and Mikhail leave. _I need to think of a plan. One that's better than just marching over here alone._

* * *

As it gets dark, Ana-Lucia, Libby, Cindy, Eko, Bernard, Emma, and Zach reach the beach camp. They find it deserted.

Ana-Lucia: "It's obvious someone was here."

Emma: "I told you Walt was telling the truth."

Bernard: "But where did they go? Rose? Where are you?"

Libby: "The alien must have come back here and took everyone away."

Zach: "There's no way Walt could have done all that by himself."

Libby: "Its people could have helped. Or … this could be the remnants of an alien settlement. Doesn't look like any normal human village I've seen."

Bernard: "They were in a plane crash, and had to fight for survival. Can't expect it to be too normal."

Cindy: "We should see what supplies they have."

They search the tents, and find a few supplies and a small quantity of food and water, but no clothes.

Cindy: "They say you need food, clothing, and shelter to survive. Looks like they had two out of three."

Emma: "Well, clothing is definitely the least important of the three."

Ana-Lucia tries to stifle a smile: _What a shame, poor Mr. Eko might have to go shirtless another forty days._

Eko: "We should be grateful for what the Almighty has provided for us. Now we should eat and pray the good Lord watches over us while we sleep."

* * *

In Othersville, the call has gone out for all to be involved in Walt's punishment. It falls upon Juliet to inform Alex and Karl. She finds them in Ben's house, which is absolutely trashed.

Juliet: "What happened here?"

Alex: "Oh, Daddy is away, and I guess we got kind of carried away. We don't get enough chances to have fun."

Juliet: "What kind of fun?"

Alex: "You know, pillow fights, bouncing on furniture, experiments in increasing entropy, that sort of thing."

Karl: "Don't worry, we'll clean it up."

Juliet: "That will have to wait. Your presence is required at Room 23."

Alex: "Oh dear. What is going on there?"

Juliet: "Walt has been found and returned by Goodwin, and Isabel insists that the whole community takes part in his punishment so that he won't try to run away again"

Karl: "I think I'd rather run away than help punish that poor kid."

Juliet: "Maybe it won't be too bad. But if you refuse, you will draw too much attention to yourselves. And besides, you'd probably be next for a stint in Room 23."

Alex: "If it's Room 23, it's bound to be pretty bad. Maybe we can pretend to participate."

Juliet: "We'll see. I don't like the idea either, but we can't let suspicion fall on us in case we are planning anything. And the boy has proved remarkably tough and heals quickly, so let's just get this over with."

Juliet, Alex, and Karl head to the DeGroovy Building and The Room.

The entire village, not counting Ben or Michael, meets at the DeGroovy building, where Isabel issues instructions. They are all issued a certain item and file into Room 23, where Walt is hanging limply and helplessly by his arms. He can see that they are all holding something that can't make out, though the objects could be cans. They circle Walt as if he is a trapped animal. Walt can't take the suspense.

Walt: "Whatever it is you lunatics are going to do, just get it over with!"

Isabel: "Don't say we never did anything you asked. Proceed with the punishment."

Everyone squirts Walt with Silly String. The sticky string of many bright colors comes out of at least a dozen cans simultaneously. Ethan pushes Walt's shoulder so that he spins around, with the strands of string wrapping around his body. They all squirt him until the cans are empty, and then reload. Walt is covered from his outstretched arms to his feet many times over, with just a little room allowed to breathe. The onslaught continues until the contents of 108 cans are deposited on Walt. Walt is covered by layers of Silly String many centimeters thick and weighing a few kilograms.

Ethan then unties the knot and lets Walt drop to the floor. Walt is in shock, from both the unexpectedness of the punishment, and the expectation that it would be a lot worse. All of the Others except Bea then leave and go about their regular business.

Bea: "I hope you've learned your lesson, Walt."

Walt: _That was it? It must be the case that they're obeying Ben and they can't hurt me. I've got act like this was terrible, though. _"Eww, yuck! This stuffis hard to get off."

Bea: "It's supposed to be."

Walt makes exaggerated motions clawing the massive amount of string from his body.

Walt: "And I'll never get it out of my hair."

Bea: "You could get a haircut."

Walt: "I guess so." _I don't want to have a bald head like her._

Bea: "So what did you learn from this?"

Walt: "That I'm going to behave from now on. I certainly don't want to go through anything like this again." _I'm out of here on my next chance. These people can't do me any harm._


	37. Long Overdue Collision

Still in Room 23, Walt laboriously removes the Silly String sticking to his body. Getting it out of his frizzy hair is particularly nettlesome. Bea then explains Walt's immediate future.

Bea: "Your testing will resume immediately. We shall determine the smallest cage here you will fit in. Try that one."

Bea points to a wire cage in a row on the floor about a meter cube, and gets a call on her walkie-talkie.

Bea: "What is it?"

Juliet is on the other end. "Your scene has just been deleted."

Bea: "Deleted? Why? What are you talking about?"

Juliet: "The scene you're about to do is just plain too stupid. The audience is instructed to scroll down two screens to the next horizontal line." Juliet closes the connection.

Walt: "What was that all about?"

Bea: "I'm afraid our scene was just canceled due to excessive stupidity."

Walt opens the swinging gate in the side of the indicated cage, gets in easily, and closes the gate.

Walt: "This does seem pretty stupid. And your judgment is way off. I can certainly fit into something a lot smaller than this."

Bea: "Oh really? Then try the one next to that."

Walt scrambles out, and worms his way into the next cage. There is enough space to sit down by grasping his lower legs with his knees in front of his face.

Walt: "That wasn't very hard. Did you suddenly get a low opinion of what I can do?"

Bea, getting upset over the recent course of events: "Fine, Mr. Showoff. Try getting into the next one."

With some effort, Walt scrambles back out of the middle cage. He can barely get his head, shoulders, and one arm through the gate of the smallest cage, half a meter cube. He tries to get his body in, but fails.

Walt: "I guess this one is too small."

Bea: "I thought so. You have developed a rather inflated opinion of yourself, and need to be reminded of your limitations."

Walt doesn't care for the sound of that. "Wait let me try something else. I need to get this leg in first …"

Bea watches with amusement as Walt forces one leg into the cage, then his body, and then his other leg. Walt is scrunched over with his legs crossed and his head between his knees. He then brings his other arm in, locking his arms under his knees.

Walt: "Am I completely in?"

Bea closes the gate, with requires some effort, and latches it. "Yes you are, very good. I had doubts you could do it."

Walt admits: "I wasn't sure either, but I can do all sorts of things since I'm special. And thanks for giving me the chance to experience what Vincent does when he has to be transported in one of those dog cages. I'm never going to put him in one of those again."

Bea: "That's very enlightened of you."

Bea admires Walt, who is quite immobilized, for four minutes. He wiggles his fingers, but finds the latch is too high on the cage side for him to reach.

Walt: "So what's the next test? I can't reach that latch, so you'll have to let me out."

Bea: "I guess I forgot to inform you. Until you prove you can be trusted, you will have new sleeping accommodations."

Walt: "Wait … you tricked me? I'm going to have to sleep like this?"

Bea: "Now you're regaining your sense of awareness. But remember, this scene is deleted, so it doesn't count."

Walt: "Thank goodness for that. I feel totally stupid. I'm glad no one will ever see this or find out about this."

Bea: "It's just as if this never happened. I have to go now. Sleep tight."

Bea leaves Room 23, turns off the lights, and locks the door behind her.

Walt is left alone with his thoughts. _Boy, I lucked out in that this doesn't count. Talk about undignified. I can't believe I let myself get tricked into this. But hey, this is still better than being handcuffed behind my back._ Walt, by now accustomed to sleeping in unusual positions, manages to fall asleep quickly.

* * *

The deleted scene is over. The regularly scheduled program resumes now.

* * *

Tom visits Michael's cage in the morning, and finds that he is just waking up.

Tom: "Good morning, Mikey. Here, have something to eat. You'll need it to keep up your strength."

Tom shoves some fruit and water through the cage bars.

Michael: "What for? What are you talking about?"

Tom: "We need you in good enough shape to answer some questions."

Michael: "I have a question. Where is Walt?"

Tom: "I am not authorized to answer that question. Perhaps my colleagues will."

Tom calls Bea and Juliet on his walkie-talkie, and informs them that Michael is awake. Tom then leaves, and Bea and Juliet converge on the cage. They are impressed by Michael's looks and become dreamy-eyed.

Juliet: "Wow, I didn't realize Michael was such a hunk."

Bea: "Me neither. Walt never described him like that, and the few pictures we have don't do him justice."

Juliet: "Yes … a new man … a good-looking good man … I have to have him!"

Bea: "You can't have him! You've been gaga about Sawyer, and maybe Jack. Michael is mine!"

Juliet: "You can't just claim him. I saw him first."

Bea: "By a second? It doesn't work that way. I'm sure he'll prefer my company."

Juliet: "Not when he finds out how you've treated Walt."

Bea: "We'll see about that."

Bea and Juliet arrive at the cage. Michael does not appear happy, gripping the bars with iron fists.

Bea: "Good morning, Michael. We have some questions for you."

Michael: "It's not a good morning when I'm locked in a cage. Now who are you people, and where's Walt?"

Bea: "Calm down Michael. We're the ones asking the questions."

Michael: "You answer mine first."

Bea: "All I can say is that we live here, and Walt is fine, though he is unavailable at the moment. Now did Walt ever appear in a place he wasn't supposed to be?"

Michael: "What? Oh yeah, like when he went gallivanting about in the jungle looking for his dog. And he just had to show up when Sun and I got caught in that net."

Juliet: "I think Bea means did Walt ever appear in a place where it should have been impossible for him to be."

Bea: "Oh, are you still here? Hey, you weren't supposed to give away my name yet."

Juliet: "Big deal. So what are you going to do about it?"

Bea: "What is the normal reaction, Juliet? Get even?"

Juliet: "I think you just did."

Michael: "Ha, now I know your names. And I wouldn't call you normal."

Bea: "Whatever. And what are you going to do with that information?"

Michael: "I can say, 'Bea and Juliet, you're nuts!' What do you mean, Walt might have been somewhere where he couldn't? No one can be in two places at the same time."

Bea: "But maybe he appeared somewhere where he wasn't."

Michael: "What are you talking about? Some sort of science fiction astral projection nonsense?"

Juliet: "He may be on to us."

Bea: "That was a possibility, but there are other things. Do strange things happen around him?"

Michael: "I'd say strange things must happen to anyone unfortunate enough to be around nutcases like you."

Bea: "Does Walt ever foretell the future?"

Michael: "He can't do that. He said he saw me tied to a post in a vision, and that never happened. Anything that did happen must be a coincidence."

Bea: "This conversation is not helpful. We may talk later."

Michael: "But what about Walt? I have to see him."

Bea: "The time isn't right. Certain things have to happen first, and we have to determine whether and how you will be needed."

Bea and Juliet depart, leaving Michael frustrated. Michael worries that he said too much.

* * *

Back at the Swan station,

Jack: "I haven't made a leader-type decision in a long time. I say we go back to the beach."

Sayid: "There's always the chance a rescue plane or boat spotted our camp."

Rose: "Or Bernard or other people from the back of the plane could show up."

Sawyer: "I need to check up on my stash."

Kate: "Your stash isn't so impressive compared to what's in this facility."

Locke: "I think we're getting cabin fever. We need some fresh air, and just leave someone to push the button."

Sun: "Is that Jin and me again?"

Locke: "Just for part of the day. Boone and I can relieve you in the evening."

Claire: "The peanut butter is great, but Jack is right; Aaron and I could use some fresh air."

Charlie: "That almost sounds like you're taking advice from your big brother."

Claire: "Don't be ridiculous."

* * *

On the beach, the tail-end group is up and discusses plans.

Cindy: "We better stick together for now."

Ana-Lucia: "We will have to explore at some point."

Eko: "Someone was obviously here, and it looks like they haven't been away for too long. Perhaps we should just wait for them."

Libby: "We should hide in case they really are aliens."

The group goes with Libby's plans and waits just inside the tree line. After a while, they hear noises.

Libby: "Quiet! More aliens."

The fuselage group enters the beach. Bernard's jaw drops when he sees Rose. He rushes out.

Bernard: "Rose!"

Rose is shocked that her hope has come to pass. "Bernard!"

Bernard: "I was afraid I'd never see you again! But I never gave up hope."

Rose: "I always had faith we would find each other."

Rose and Bernard meet and hug and kiss for a long time.

Cindy: "Those two look like they know each other."

Eko: "I don't think those are aliens."

Ana-Lucia: "I have to agree."

Emma: "Of course they're not aliens. Walt was telling the truth."

Zach: "I knew he was. But I don't see him."

Libby: "Some aliens have the power of invisibility. We still have to maintain our guard."

Ana-Lucia: "We have to introduce ourselves. I'm the most authoritative one here, so I'll do it. And it looks like that man might be theirs. Funny, he looks like someone I saw at the Sydney airport."

Ana-Lucia heads toward Jack.

Ana-Lucia: "Hey there. Are you really from our flight?"

Jack: "You mean Oceanic Flight 815? Yes, that's us."

Ana-Lucia: "We were on that flight, but the tail section broke off and we landed in a different place than you. I'm Ana-Lucia."

Jack: "I'm Jack. I'm a doctor, does anyone need medical attention?"

Ana-Lucia: "There's this woman who seems to see extraterrestrial aliens everywhere, but physically we're okay. Just a bit hungry."

Jack: "A psychological disorder? I'm actually a surgeon, but I'm so terrific I can fix anything."

Ana-Lucia: "I believe she was on medication, and hasn't had any since the crash."

Jack: "Medication? That could be a problem. We don't have prescription medicines here."

Ana-Lucia: "Say, you look familiar. Did we meet at the airport? Maybe had a drink before the flight?"

Jack: "I don't drink. Well, only on special occasions. Maybe that was me. Hey, do you hear something? Like music?"

Rose and Bernard's embrace continues, and nauseatingly sweet music echoes around the camp. Everyone except Rose and Bernard starts writhing in agony, and dropping to the ground. Rose and Bernard are oblivious to the plight of the others as many try to crawl away.

Sawyer: "That music … make it stop … too sweet. This is worse than listening to the Hobbit's 'You All Everybody' forever." Sawyer drops to his knees and covers his hands with his ears.

Charlie: "Was that a compliment? That's the first time you said my music was better than something."

Kate: "It's the sickness!" Kate drops to the ground.

Sayid: "This is like one of the tortures tested by the Iraqi Army, but it was rejected as being too cruel." Sayid falls.

Jack: "This could be dangerous. Our sugar levels may be soaring. We may go into diabetic shock." Jack swoons, and drops to the sand as well.

One by one, the passengers fall on the beach. Charlie lets Claire faint gracefully on him, and makes sure Aaron doesn't get hurt in the fall. Hurley hits the beach with a thud. Locke keels over, and then Desmond. Boone and Shannon, resilient with youth, drop to their knees and try to crawl away.

Ana-Lucia wobbles, and then she falls. Her group rushes to her aid, but Eko, Cindy, Emma, and Zach, each stagger a few steps before crashing onto the sand. Libby lasts the longest.

Libby: "I should have thought about the aliens using their music as a weapon." Libby crumples to the ground, but as she does so, sees Hurley.

_That man … I've seen him before._


	38. Tales of Two Plane Sections

The survivors on the beach are fighting to remain conscious as the sickeningly sweet music continues.

Hurley: "Is there a cure for this?"

Jack: "Insulin would help, but I don't think we have any."

Shannon: "Wouldn't the cure for something sweet be something sour?"

Boone: "That's it! There was a box of sourballs in that parachute supply drop."

Rose and Bernard finally stop smooching. The music stops, but the damage has been done.

Rose: "Good Heavens, what happened?"

Jack: "Get … sourballs from hatch."

Rose: "Okay, sorry about that."

Rose takes Bernard to the hatch, and they relate their stories to each other.

Bernard: "So what have you been doing all this time?"

Rose: "Mostly I stared out over the ocean waiting for you and was ignored. It was tough for a while, but we had some good providers, like Jin for fishing and John for hunting. Then my big scene came when Claire went into labor, and the doctor Jack was far away playing golf."

Bernard: "Golf? There's a golf course here?"

Rose: "Yes, Hurley found a golf bag washed ashore he and Charlie built most of it as a way to get some entertainment. It's been pretty popular, though I never tried it. By the way, the baby delivery went fine, Sun helped and Jack eventually got there in time, and Claire had a boy she named Aaron."

Bernard: "Aaron? I guess that's a nice name, though I like 'Bernard'."

Rose: "Most the men suggested their own names."

Bernard: "Then how did she decide on 'Aaron'?"

Rose: "She got frustrated with all the suggestions, so took the first name in an alphabetical list."

Bernard: "Sounds like a fascinating group you got there. My group had it bad for a while, landing on a beach way north of here, and eventually decided to head for where there might be more food. This time luck was on our side, and we found this Station named the Arrow."

Rose: "That's quite a coincidence. We found a hatch, which is actually some kind of station, called the Swan. There's this odd computer in there, and someone has to punch a sequence of buttons every 108 … no, Sayid would object … every 104 to 108 minutes. We formed teams of two, and I would be included if I made an even number."

Bernard: "It's reassuring to know that they thought you were useful some of the time. What happens if the button isn't pushed in time?"

Rose: "Desmond, the man who was living down there, said something bad. There was this videotape, and the guy speaking on it said there would be an incident, we would all be killed, or the world would end. Or some combination of the above."

Bernard: "Wow, that's pretty intense. Our Arrow Station was pretty boring. It was a good shelter, but we still had to gather fruit nearby."

Rose: "We were much luckier. There are periodic food drops at our station, and one just happened yesterday."

Bernard: "I'm so glad to see you looking so good."

Rose: "Well, you need a shave, but I think you look rather distinguished the way you are. So what made you leave the Arrow?"

Bernard: "There was this strange boy Walt who happened into our camp. He said there was a group here including you, but the rest of my group was slow to believe him. Yesterday when we woke up he and this man Goodwin from our group were gone, so I insisted on coming here, and here we are."

Rose: "Walt was with you? But let's not talk about him; this is our scene."

Bernard: "Fine with me. The important thing is that we're together."

Rose: "Yes, we deserve it."

Rose and Bernard reach the main hatch entrance.

Rose: "Do you see the doorbell?"

Bernard pushes it, and gets squirted in the face.

Bernard splutters, "What was that about?"

Rose: "You need to chill. A little frivolity keeps us young."

Bernard: "You're amazing, and that's what I love about you."

Jin and Sun answer the door.

Rose: "Hello, we have big news. There are several more survivors from the tail section of the plane, and one of them is my husband here, Bernard. Bernard, this is Sun and Jin Kwon."

Sun: "That's … incredible. Welcome, come in."

They all go downstairs.

Rose: "We actually are in a hurry. When we hugged and kissed, this sweet music came out of nowhere, and everybody else got sick. The best suggestion was to give everyone sourballs, and they thought there were some here."

Jin: "Sourballs? I loved those as a kid. I think I saw some somewhere."

They search the pantry, and Jin finds four boxes of sourballs.

Jin: "Here you go."

Sun: "I think two boxes are enough. We may need to save them."

Bernard: "Actually, maybe it would be better if you two go back. Rose and I might … develop strong feelings for each other in public again, and this hatch looks like a great place to make out."

Rose: "You frisky devil, I believe you're right. I'll show you how to push the buttons."

Sun: "This seems like a good time to leave. Nice meeting you."

Jin: "Same here."

Sun and Jin leave the hatch and go back to the beach with the sourballs. Rose demonstrates how the computer works.

Bernard: "There was something you said about pushing buttons that made me think of something else."

Rose: "I can imagine."

The scene fades away before anything deserving of an inappropriate rating takes place.

* * *

Bea and Juliet visit Michael in the outdoor cage.

Bea: "Hello Michael. Are you ready to talk some more?"

Michael: "What's the point? Are you ever going to let me see Walt?"

Bea: "You have to prove you are worthy. What is Walt's favorite subject in school?"

Michael: "I … wasn't there, how should I know? Recess?"

Bea: "What is his favorite sports team?"

Michael: "What is it with these stupid questions? Why did you take him? That's my son!"

Bea: "For someone who wants him so badly, you don't seem to know very much about him."

Michael: "I know he likes his dog and throwing knives. This isn't getting anywhere."

Bea: "Fine, we can talk about you instead. When the last time you went on a date?"

Michael chokes. "Not for a while … what kind of question is that? Have you ever even been on a date?"

Juliet: "These questions help determine why you're so stressed out and give us an insight into your frame of mind."

Michael: "I'm stressed because I'm locked in a cage and you took my son!"

Juliet: "Perhaps a different line of questioning is in order. Are the other men in your group as good looking as you?"

Michael: "I got to be better looking than Hurley, and Locke is so old … wait a minute, again what's with the stupid questions?"

Bea: "You really are attractive when you're angry. That primitive, raw, emotion … your muscles bulging so … do you work out?"

Bea produces a camera from the folds of her clothing and takes a picture of Michael.

Michael: "We didn't have workout equipment but I worked good and hard on those rafts. Wait, there was workout stuff in that hatch …"

Juliet: "What hatch?"

Bea: "It must be the Swan Station; that's the only one they're close to."

Michael: "I'm not saying anything more."

Juliet: "Back to the men. Is it true that Sawyer is considered the best looking by most?"

Michael: "Guys don't answer questions like that. Why do you care?"

Juliet: "I wanted to know if he's worth looking into, or maybe we should just stick with you."

Michael: "Why don't you capture him and compare us if you're so interested?"

Juliet: "We are looking into that possibility."

Bea: "We have to go now. But here is something more substantial to eat."

Bea places a bag through the cage bars.

Michael: "What is that? Arsenic and Old Lace?"

Bea: "Don't be ridiculous. That's fish biscuits and water. The fish will give you protein and keep you strong. I'd hate to see anything happen to your physique while you stay with us."

Michael: "You're a real charmer."

Bea and Juliet leave as Michael chows down on the fish biscuits. They are on the dry side, but he has enough water and it is better than just eating fruit all day.

Juliet comments to Bea, "I know you like taking pictures, and that gave me an idea. We could get more, and make a beefcake calendar. I bet it would be a big seller."

* * *

Sun and Jin get back to the beach and distribute the sourballs. Everyone recovers.

Sun: "Rose and Bernard thought it would be a good idea for them to stay behind so no one gets sick again."

Jack: "Under the circumstances, that sounds like a good idea. Let them get their … issues … resolved out of sight."

Shannon: "I would like to publicly commend my brother Boone for thinking of the sourball solution."

Boone: "Hey, I wouldn't have thought of that if Shannon hadn't mentioned something sour being the cure to something overly sweet. Sometimes we make a great team."

Sayid: "You're not a team anymore; it's Shannon and me."

Jack pouts because he didn't think of the solution to the medical crisis, and wants to change the subject.

Jack: "We need to introduce ourselves: "I'm Jack Shephard, a great doctor, with spinal surgery as my specialty. I'm the leader of this group."

Sawyer: "I don't remember there being an election, but I'm not sure anyone else wants the job. My name is Sawyer. Just the one name, Sawyer. And if you want to get along with me stay away from my stash."

Hurley: "Your stash has lost a lot of significance since we found the hatch."

Sawyer: "I didn't ask for anyone's opinion, Deepdish."

Hurley coughs. "My real name is Hurley, dudes. I mean, just call me that. Sawyer will have nicknames for you all within a minute."

Ana-Lucia: "I'm Ana-Lucia Cortez, and I sort of was our leader, and a cop, but we put things up to a vote a lot."

Sawyer gestures grandly. "Pleased to meet you, Lulubell."

Eko: "You could show some more respect."

Sawyer: "That ain't my style, John Henry."

Eko: "The name is Mr. Eko. I'm a priest."

Charlie: "This group probably could use a priest. I'm Charlie Pace, big time rock star."

Sawyer: "Big time has-been."

Charlie: "I was in Australia trying to arrange a comeback. And this is my girlfriend Claire and her new baby Aaron."

Claire: "Hello, all."

Eko: "New baby? Born on this island?"

Claire: "That's right. A week or two ago."

Sayid: "Ten days."

Shannon: "This is Sayid, he's like that, very scientific and all that."

Sayid: "Sayid Jarrah, former member of the Iraqi Republican Guard. But I'm a good guy now."

Boone: "My sister sees only good guys now."

Shannon: "I can see whoever I want to, Boone Carlyle. And you're only my stepbrother."

Boone, in an exaggerated tone, "By all means, Shannon Rutherford." Then to the newcomers, he explains, "Sometimes, we get along great, and other times we get into these ridiculous fights."

Jack: "Can you please cool it?" Jack looks at Cindy, who looks familiar. "Didn't I see you on the plane?"

Cindy thinks, and remembers. "Yes, you were the one I had to serve that extra-strong drink to because you were afraid of flying."

Laughter ensues to Jack's embarrassment.

Jack: "You could be mistaken. I don't drink now."

Sawyer: "Lay off it, you old souse. You ain't fooling anyone. Pleased to meet you, Stewardess."

Cindy: "It's Cindy Chandler. And we call ourselves flight attendants these days."

Sawyer: "Do you think I care?"

Cindy: "Based on my first impression, no." Wanting to talk about anything else, "These here are the sister and brother with no last name, Emma and Zach."

Emma: "Hi. We were going to meet our mother in Los Angeles, but we didn't quite make it."

Zach: "Yeah, but these people have been taking care of us. Hey Sawyer, do you have a nickname for us?"

Sawyer sneers. "That's too easy. You're Hansel and Gretel."

Emma: "We might have been Jack and Jill."

Sawyer: "That wouldn't work because we have someone here already whose real name is Jack. That could lead to confusion."

Zach: "Someone might confuse me with a grown man with a bunch of tattoos and stubble?"

Emma: "Maybe if someone called out the name. But … is Walt here?"

Jack: "You saw Walt?"

Libby: "Hold it, we saw something who said its name was Walt, but could be an extraterrestrial alien."

Jack: "What did he look like?"

Libby: "No, you describe your Walt first. If it's a trap, you'll just say he fits whatever description we give you."

Jack: "Fine then. He's ten years old, black, about four foot eight, kind of average looking. And he was definitely human. I did examine him a few times."

Ana-Lucia: "That fits with the boy we ran into."

Emma: "He's better than average looking."

Shannon: "But that doesn't narrow it down too much."

Libby: "You're right. Tell us what he was wearing."

Kate: "I think I was the last of our group to see him alive. He was wearing a loincloth made of boarskin, same material that I've got on, and a pair of handcuffs."

Emma: "That has to be the same Walt! And he's still alive! There couldn't be two like him in the universe."

Eko: "Praise the Lord!"

Libby is giving into the possibility that Walt is human. "Can you describe the handcuffs, Ms …"

Kate: _Remember nobody must suspect those cuffs were for me._ "I'm Kate Austen. And sorry, I don't know anything about handcuffs. I know Walt found them soon after we crashed, but they just look like any other set, right?"

Sayid: "Actually those were high quality handcuffs most commonly used on international criminals."

Kate breathes a sigh of relief.

Ana-Lucia: "That's right. It has to be the same person."

Libby: "I guess it looks like it. No markings on his body? Our Walt had "BAD BOY" painted over his chest and abdomen and a funny heptagonal symbol on his back."

Ana-Lucia: "He explained that, and it was wearing off."

Sawyer guffaws: "Bad boy? I'll have to try that the next time I see him."

Emma: "Thanks for believing we will see him again."

Sayid: "I estimate the probability that there could be two people in the universe with those characteristics to be on the order of ten to the minus 108."

Jack: "Aren't there less than ten to the 108 atoms in the observable universe?"

Sayid: "Correct. It must be the same Walt both groups encountered."

Desmond: "By the way, I'm Desmond Hume. I've been living alone in something called the Swan Station for two and a half years pushing buttons that saved the world."

Cindy: "That's nice, thank you." _Could he be as crazy as Libby?_

Something clicks inside Hurley's head, and he points at Libby. "Jack, I think I saw her in a mental institution."

Jack thinks this over, and it makes sense. He speaks to Ana-Lucia. "This thing about aliens, what did you say about this woman …"

Ana-Lucia: "Libby Franklin. I believe she was on some sort of medication, but didn't have any after the crash."

Sun interrupts. "Excuse me, but I believe I may be of assistance. I am Sun Kwon, and this is my husband Jin."

Jin: "Hello. I have been learning English very rapidly, and am an excellent fisherman."

Sun: "I have a garden, and there must be some herbs in there that will cure her."

Jack: "But Libby must have had a specific prescription. There was nothing like that in the hatch."

Sun: "Haven't you learned? There is always an herb growing on this island that will cure any disease you can come up with."

Jin: "Of course there is. I will help you."

Jack is left stunned for a moment.

Emma then asks, "Hey, if Walt is missing, shouldn't we go looking for him?"

Jack: "We tried that, searching for him, and his father Michael, while we were looking for Aaron, who also got kidnapped. There's this solid blue line painted across the island, and some really unsavory types on the other side. They told us they would do bad things to us if we cross that line."

Kate: "That's right. They have all sorts of weapons we don't, and know the lay of the land, and I'm sure they'd just capture us if we tried again and make things worse. Besides, if Walt escaped once unaided, it stands to reason he could do it again. Or maybe Michael will be successful."

Locke: "Walt is a very resourceful boy. I have trained him, and he can take care of himself. Oh by the way, my name is John Locke."

Emma: "Isn't that some philosopher's name?"

Locke: "There's nothing wrong with that."

Zach: "Walt told us he let himself be handcuffed by this Ethan person, and thought it was a game of cops and robbers. Maybe Walt needs more training. We have to help him."

Locke: "Well, we all trusted Ethan."

Charlie: "I didn't."

Locke: "Except Charlie. Training can take a fair amount of time."

* * *

Bea goes into Room 23 with her camera. "Good afternoon, Walt. Smile."

Walt: "What?"

Walt starts to smile, Bea snaps the picture, and then Walt remembers where he is, all scrunched up in a tiny cage. He frowns, and Bea takes another picture.

Walt: "What's going on?"

Bea: "It's time to get up. You've been sleeping for sixteen hours in there. And some day we'll look back on these photos and laugh."

Bea unlatches the cage door. Walt struggles to worm his way out.

Bea: "How are you feeling?"

Walt: "My back is a little sore, but what did you expect? Hey, if that scene was deleted last time, how can we explain this one?"

Bea: "Continuity is overrated, and the audience doesn't need to see everything. The viewers worth having are intelligent enough to put together any missing pieces. Now come on, let's check you out."

Bea takes Walt to Room 15, where the examination table Walt had been strapped to the day before still sits.

Walt groans: "Are you going to strap me to that again?"

Bea: "That wasn't the idea. We try hard not to repeat ourselves; we take a lot of criticism if we do. Of course, if you try to escape again, we may have no choice. As you may have guessed, we have constant guards on all the exits of this building now. Now get up on that table on your stomach."

Walt climbs up on the table, and expects to be strapped down anyway, and plots his next escape attempt. However, Bea returns with a bottle of rubbing alcohol, pours some on Walt's back, and massages it into his sore muscles.

Walt: "Aaaah, that feels great. But why are you being nice now after all that stuff yesterday?"

Bea: "I don't want to see you in any pain. It's just that we need to keep you here for a while, and Sheriff Isabel is in charge while Ben is away, and insisted you be punished as a deterrent."

Walt decides to get all he can out of this. "Actually my and arms are a little sore too from being scrunched up like that. Not as bad as my back, but …"

Bea: "Just relax." Bea pours on more rubbing alcohol and gives Walt a complete massage. When she is finished, "That's enough for now. It's time for your next test."

Walt: "I knew there had to be a catch."

Bea takes Walt to Room 16, where he had to make many other tests.

Bea takes some papers from a drawer. "The next test is on spelling. Here is a list of the one thousand most commonly misspelled words in English, along with their most common misspellings. You have to circle the correct spelling in each case."

Walt: "Spelling? No one needs to know how to spell these days, there's something called a spellchecker you know."

Bea: "That isn't the point. And sometimes spellcheckers don't give the word you intended. And here is some milk and cookies. Now get to it."

Bea leaves Walt alone after leaving a carton of milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table. Walt studies a few words, gets bored, and then Juliet checks in on him.

Juliet: "Hello Walt. How are you doing?"

Walt: "Better than I thought I would be. But this spelling test is the pits."

Juliet: "I'm sorry you have to do all this, but it will prove to be for the best. I noticed you're not tied to the chair this time, so that's a good sign."

Walt: "Huh, I didn't notice. But Bea says there're guards all over the place, and I need my hands free to take this stupid test, so I'd escape from the chair at least anyway."

Juliet: "She's right. Say, is that your picture on the milk carton?"

Walt: "What?" Walt looks at the carton, and sees his picture under a "Missing" label. "That's wack. Why would someone do that?"

Juliet: "Maybe they thought your picture would increase sales."

Walt grins. "I guess that makes sense."

Juliet: "Good. Now please don't try to escape again. It was tough to shoot you with Silly String."

Walt: "If it makes you feel better, that wasn't bad at all. Sleeping in the tiny cage was a drag, but Bea's massage made up for it. I feel great now, and … don't see why I shouldn't try to escape again."

Juliet: "Well, if the string wasn't a deterrent, they'll probably try something else which could be worse."

Walt: "I'm not afraid. You guys can't hurt me, so you better watch out."

Juliet sighs: "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Juliet then leaves Walt alone.

* * *

Back on the beach, some conversations involving small groups of people take place.

Zach: "Mr. Locke, can I talk to you?"

Locke: "Of course."

Locke and Zach go off to the side.

Locke: "What is it?"

Zach: "Walt told me you'd be happy to make me a loincloth like his. I admire him and want to be more like him, and I think it might help to find him. Can you do that?"

Locke's face perks up. "Of course I can. There's a boar carcass by the caves on the way to the hatch."

Zach: "Cool! And can you teach me to throw knives?"

Locke: "I think so. You can't be too prepared around here."

Zach: "Thanks. Oh, one thing, I don't want to be tied to a tree. You won't do that, will you?"

Locke: "That shouldn't be necessary. Walt had some issues that needed to be dealt with, and you don't seem to have those."

Zach: "Good. Do you think we could get Emma to stand against a tree or wall and see how close you can throw knives without hitting her?"

Locke: "I don't know. That sounds like something I might get in trouble for."

Zach: "Okay, that wasn't absolutely necessary."

Locke: "Good. I'll take you to the caves when we get going. I'm sure your group is anxious to see our hatch and the great shelter."

Eko approaches Claire: "Your baby, if it was born here, has it not been baptized?"

Claire: "Baptized? I hadn't thought of that. There were too many other things going on, like getting used to taking care of a baby."

Eko: "Don't you think it's a good idea?"

Claire: "I suppose there's nothing to lose, and maybe a lot to gain."

Eko: "We should have a ceremony. Is there a suitable lake here?"

Claire: "There's a pond somewhere, by some caves that way."

Eko: "Good. I will make the arrangements. How about noon tomorrow?"

Claire: "Sounds good."

When Zach is done talking with Locke and Eko with Claire, Locke approaches Eko.

Locke: "I see you are a man of faith, Father Eko. I consider myself one also. This island could use more like us."

Eko: "I quite agree. This environment can make it quite challenging to maintain one's faith. That's one reason why I always carry this Jacob stick with me."

Locke admires the thick wooden stick with Scripture verses etched into it. "Very impressive. I've been thinking, I'd like to go on a quest with someone who understands the island like I do, and explore it as much as it allows us."

Eko: "That sounds like a good idea, but there are a few things I have to do first. My group should get settled in, and I have a baptism ceremony to perform. But after that, let's look into it."

Locke: "Very well, we do have a lot of time now."


	39. Further Insanity

When the conversations at the beach are all done, Jack announces, "Let's all go to the hatch now."

Most of the group goes, but Sun announces, "I need to collect some herbs from my garden to see what can be done for Libby's alien problem."

Jin: "I will never leave Sun again."

Sun and Jin go to the garden.

Jin: "Do you really know what will work?"

Sun: "Not exactly, but some plants are decidedly more likely than others for this purpose. We may have to try a few combinations. These will be easier to prepare at the hatch."

Jin: "You know you're so beautiful."

Sun: "Yes … wait, that was quite a change in subject, but … that makes you so charming. You're so handsome … the cure can wait a little longer …"

Sun and Jin lose control, run at and embrace each other, fall down, and roll around in the dirt. The scene fades …

* * *

The group reaches the point where the main trail to the Swan passes another trail to the caves. Locke and Zach veer off.

Emma: "Hey Zach, where are you going?"

Zach: "Mr. Locke and I got some 'guy' stuff to do."

Emma thinks, _Boys will be boys._ "Fine, just don't do anything stupid."

Zach: "I stopped imitating you a long time ago."

Hurley: "Wow, it looks like we may have the next generation of Shannon and Boone here."

Emma and the rest of the passengers go to the Swan, while Locke and Zach go to the caves. Outside the caves, Locke stops at a fire pit.

Locke: "Let me show you how to start a fire."

Locke produces a knife from a sheath that Zach hadn't noticed, and strikes a rock against it. Sparks fly, and small twigs and leaves catch fire.

Zach: "That was awesome, Mr. Locke."

Locke: "I know, but 'Mr. Locke 'is so formal. Why don't you call me 'John' like everybody else?"

Zach: "Oh, because you're so old."

Locke coughs. "Calling me by my first name helps me to feel younger."

Zach: "Okay, John. So what's next?"

Locke moves some branches from off a boar carcass, and cuts two strips from it. One is one centimeter wide and seventy centimeters long, and the other twenty by seventy centimeters. He stretches the pieces out over the fire.

Locke: "We have to sterilize these before you can wear them. But while we're waiting, how'd you like to see what I have in my cave?"

Zach: "I'd like that a lot."

Locke takes Zach into the cave, and moves a boulder to reveal a case. Opening the case reveals scores of knives.

Zach: "Cool! You going to teach me how to throw those?"

Locke: "That's the idea. Here, this should be your size." Locke hands Zach one of the smallest knives in the impressive collection, and takes out several more. They go outside, and Locke takes aim at a tree, and throws his knife. It hits the knot he was aiming at dead on. "Now you try."

Zach throws his knife, and misses the tree entirely. The knife skitters to a halt on the ground.

Zach: "That was terrible."

Locke: "Yes, but no one is perfect right away. Keep trying."

Locke hands Zach more of the smaller knives, and Zach keeps trying, but none of his throws are very good. Eventually Locke decides, "Time for a break. I think your loincloth is ready."

They go back to the fire, and the boarskin strips look good. Locke cleans them off, and explains, "The narrow piece goes over your hips like a belt, not too tight. Then the wider piece goes over and through and behind, and you can tie the ends together so it doesn't accidentally catch on a thorn or something and gets pulled off."

Zach: "I got it, I saw Walt's."

Locke: "Good. I'll just go back to the caves for a few minutes and give you some privacy."

Zach: "Okay."

Locke departs, and Zach takes off his pants and puts on his new boarskin garment. It feels good to him. Locke comes back.

Locke: "How does it fit?"

Zach: "Perfect. It feels great, and doesn't stink like my pants were."

Locke: "Good. Now let's get back to the knives. Try again, and concentrate. Picture in your mind's eye the trajectory of the knife." Locke hands Zach another knife.

Zach takes a deep breath, focuses, and throws the knife. This time it hits the tree, a meter low and a decimeter to the left, but Zach is excited at the much better result.

Zach: "Look at that!"

Locke smiles. "That was much better, but I bet you can improve on that."

Zach: "I'll try." Zach takes several more throws. Over time he gets closer to the target, but doesn't nail it exactly. "That's pretty good, isn't it?"

Locke: "Yes it is. Not as good as Walt, but not bad."

Zach: "Did Walt do something different?"

Locke: "He didn't become great at knife throwing until after I tied him to a tree and drugged him. But if you want, I can do the same for you."

Zach thinks it over. "I really don't want to be tied up and drugged. Maybe some other time. If I get too good now, there won't be so much to look forward to."

Locke: "Fair enough. Let's go. And after those pants are washed they can be cut up and used as diapers for Aaron. If we run out of material we'll have to make new ones out of boarskin."

Zach: "What's wrong with that?"

Locke: "Nothing, but Claire didn't seem thrilled with the idea, and you don't want to mess with new mothers."

Locke and Zach clean up the campsite and head for the Swan.

* * *

Walt finishes two pages of spelling words, and sees there are twenty-three more to go. _This is bunk. I have to try to escape. It's worth getting covered in string and sleeping in a cage if I don't have to take these stupid tests._

Walt gets up and quietly opens the door. He looks up and down the corridor, and sees and hears no one. He steps out into the hallway, and falls through a trapdoor into a narrow hole, barely wide enough for him to stand. The floorboards snap back up. Walt can reach then, now the ceiling of his little prison, but there is nothing on the bottom to grab onto. He punches the boards, but they are too solid to break through. He realizes he is trapped. _At least I don't have to finish that stupid spelling test._

After two hours, Bea pushes open the trapdoor from above. Walt can see Ethan grinning beside her.

Bea: "Walter, what are you doing down there?"

Walt: "Somnambulist. S-O-M-N-A-M-B-U-L-I-S-T. Somnambulist."

Bea: "That excuse didn't work before. Why are you trying it now?"

Walt: "It was the most clever thing I could think of."

Bea: "Get out."

Walt climbs out with difficulty, the narrow space not giving him any footholds. Ethan grabs his arm when Walt is up.

Walt: "So now what? Going to string me up again in Room 23?"

Bea: "Of course not. You wouldn't be able to complete your spelling test that way. But you did get the Room 23 part right."

Ethan forces Walt into Room 23 and places him standing in the stocks. Walt's head goes onto a semicircle cut out of the lower wooden piece, and his wrists onto smaller semicircles on the sides. Ethan then snaps the upper piece down, locking Walt's head and arms in place. It could be worse as the stocks were designed for an adult, so Walt can slide his arms back and forth a fair amount and turn his head. Bea then wheels in a table fitted with long legs a places it in front of Walt. The spelling test papers are on it, and she puts a pen in each of Walt's hands.

Bea: "Now finish this."

Walt: "Why did you put a pen in my left hand? I'm right handed."

Bea: "You only have to draw circles around the correctly spelled words. Consider it a test for latent ambidexterity."

Bea and Ethan leave. Resigned to his fate, Walt does the rest of the spelling test. He gets used to writing some with his left hand, and maximizing movement through the armholes. He works quickly, getting done in an hour, and shouts, "Okay, I'm finished." _And I'm hungry._

Bea comes back to collect the papers, and wheels the table away. She comes back, and announces, "Now it's time for your punishment. Hold your head up."

Walt: "What?"

The next thing he knows, Bea has thrown a cream pie in his face. Walt licks as much as he can off his face. _This tastes pretty good._

Walt is not surprised to see a long line of Others following. He gets hit with many more pies, but there is some variety, and by the end of it, he is no longer hungry.

Bea: "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Walt: "Aren't you going to take another picture?"

Bea: "Why thank you, I forgot."

Bea gets her camera and takes a picture of Walt with pie on his face.

Ethan then comes and wraps Walt's legs from his ankles to his knees in something cool and sticky. Ethan then releases Walt from the stocks. Walt takes the opportunity to wipe the rest of the pies off his face and eat them. Then Walt notices he is being wrapped in silver duct tape.

Walt: "Why is that tape so cool?"

Bea: "Because you overheat when wearing anything more than what you have now."

Walt: "But that would really matter only if you're going to wrap me all the way up …" _Duh._ "Oh, how considerate of you."

Bea: "Now stand up straight and hold still."

Walt complies, but is ready. Ethan has more rolls of refrigerated duct tape and continues neatly wrapping Walt up. When the tape reaches the bottom of his chest, Walt inhales and holds his breath until Ethan is done, as the last of the tape reaches Walt's neck.

Walt: "How do I look?"

Bea: "Like a handsome Silver King." She takes another picture with Walt smiling, and then Ethan lays Walt down on the floor.

Bea: "Good night, Walt."

Walt: "Good night, Bea, Ethan."

Bea and Ethan leave, and Juliet has to make a check on Walt.

Juliet: "Didn't I warn you? Now look at you."

Walt: "Yeah, but it was worth it. The pies were good."

Juliet: "Did you taste the lemon meringue one?"

Walt: "Yes, that was my favorite."

Juliet beams. "That was mine. I'm glad you liked it."

Walt: "Maybe you can make another the next time the Book Club meets at your house."

Juliet: "I think I will. I'm glad to see you're in such good spirits, considering your position."

Walt rocks a little and sits up a little, pretending that is all he can move. "Well, they got me good, but this is better than last night in that tiny cage."

Juliet: "Good then. But you never know what might happen if you try to escape again."

Walt: "It's a lot more exciting than taking all your stupid tests."

Juliet: "That's your choice then. I'll probably see you tomorrow. Good night."

Walt: "Good night."

Juliet leaves, and Walt struggles to get out. However, the day has been too much for him and he falls sound asleep.

* * *

The main group reaches the hatch. Desmond gives a tour.

Desmond: "We have limited water for showers, so who needs it the most?"

Ana-Lucia: "Why is everyone looking at me?"

Cindy: "Your type-A personality might be causing your sweat glands to work extra hard."

Ana-Lucia: "Whatever."

Desmond: "There's only enough water for about three minutes each."

Ana-Lucia takes a quick shower, and then Cindy, Libby, and Eko. When they are done, Sun and Jin arrive from collecting various plants from the garden, and then Desmond announces, "If you all are going to stay here, you should form into teams of two and make shifts for pushing the button."

Sawyer: "I say we mix up the teams. I've had enough of Dr. Burns here."

Jack: "I second the motion."

Charlie possessively puts his arm around Claire: "Claire and I should stick together. The rest of you can do what you want."

Jin does likewise with Sun. "I second what Charlie said."

Claire and Sun look at each other.

Claire: "Are we possessions?"

Sun: "I don't think so, but do you want to trade Charlie for Jin?"

Claire: "I think that would just make the men irritable and unbearable. Let's stick with what is working for now."

Sun: "Yes, that probably makes the most sense."

Rose and Bernard: "No one is breaking us up after all this time."

Shannon: "Sorry Boone, I still prefer Sayid."

Boone: "We really probably don't want to be cooped up together for too long. But a change of pace from John might be good. I third the motion."

Hurley gravitates toward Libby. "Maybe I-I should team up with Libby this time. What do you think?"

Libby is pleased that someone isn't judging her as crazy, and still senses something she can't describe about Hurley.

Libby: "I think that could work out."

Jack: "Who's left?: Kate, Sawyer, Boone, Desmond, Ana-Lucia, Cindy, Eko, me, John isn't back yet …"

Sawyer: "Great, now you sound like Mr. Census."

Libby: "Hurley, why did Sawyer call you that?"

Hurley: "We found a flight manifest, and tried to use it to figure out if someone didn't belong among us. It almost worked, but this dude named Ethan Rom somehow found out some names on the list and claimed he was Eko Tunde, using that passenger's initials as the first two letters of his name."

Hurley looks at Eko. "Your last name is Tunde?"

Eko: "Yes."

There is silence.

Eko: "I gather this Ethan person did not resemble me at all?"

Hurley coughs. "Yes, you could say that. We later found out the Ethan kidnapped Claire, and then Walt."

Emma: "Did you forget about me? And when can we look for Walt?"

Ana-Lucia: "They explained that sweetie; we have to learn more about the enemy before we try, if Walt doesn't escape on his own."

Jack: "Anyway, what about setting up the button teams?"

Kate looks at Jack, and Sawyer. Jack looks at Kate, and Ana-Lucia. Sawyer looks at Kate, and Ana-Lucia. Ana-Lucia looks at Jack, Sawyer, and Eko. Boone looks confused.

Cindy: "How did you decide this before?"

Hurley: "We had a closest-to-the-pin golf contest, but we're not near the course now."

Sayid: "Let's just put the names in a hat and get this over with."

Shannon: "Does anyone here have a hat?"

Sayid: "I think we can use a bowl from the pantry."

Sayid gets a bowl, and Hurley tears a sheet of paper into little pieces and writes names on them. Hurley puts the pieces into the bowl, and shakes it up.

Boone: "Who will select the names?"

Ana-Lucia: "I think Emma doing that will be fairest."

Emma draws names two at a time, and announces the new teams: "Kate and Eko. Sawyer and John. Jack and Cindy. Ana-Lucia and Boone. Desmond and …, oh there's an odd number."

Desmond: "I guess that makes you and me a team."

Sawyer: "Is Little Bo Peep qualified for this task? If it really saves the world, this is important, and the kid better not mess up."

Desmond: "You pretty much only need to be able to count to 108. But I did this alone for years, so I'm sure we can manage a shift every several days."

Emma: "I can count a lot higher than 108."

Hurley: "Then it's settled. Let's eat."

At that point Locke and Zach arrive. Emma giggles at Zach's appearance.

Locke: "Did I miss anything?"

Hurley: "We made up new teams for button pushing duty. You wound up with Locke."

Locke: "Gee thanks."

Sawyer: "It ain't no picnic for me either, O Bald One. But what's up with you – you miss the original Bomba the Jungle Boy so much you're making a new one?"

Locke: "I do what the island tells me to improve the well being of those who seek it."

Jack is concerned and rushes over to examine Zach. Jack is pleasantly surprised to find no rope burns. "Good John, I'm glad to see you're not tying up every kid you run into."

Locke: "It wasn't necessary in this case."

Emma: "Or at least not yet."

Zach: "Hey! Mr. Locke is very nice. He's teaching me the ways of the island, and I'm going to rescue Walt and become a great hunter and provide for you."

Emma: "Libby's craziness may have rubbed off on you."

Zach: "What's this about teams for pushing the button?"

Desmond: "We formed new teams of two to take shifts, but forgot to include you. You can be on the team with Emma and me. The two of you combined is sort of the equivalent of one adult."

Emma: "You said he needed to be able to count up to 108."

Zach hits Emma in the shoulder. Emma hits Zach back.. Desmond puts a hand on a shoulder of each to separate them, and a vision flashes before his eyes. Desmond trembles as Emma and Zach stop fighting.

Emma: "What was that?"

Desmond: "I just had a vision of the future that involves you two. Sometimes when I touch someone, this happens."

Zach: "So what did you see?"

Desmond: "The two of you were helping Walt walk through a field. I assume it's Walt based on the description I've heard. He had an arm around a shoulder of each of you. No one else was in sight."

Emma: "So that means we are going to rescue Walt?"

Desmond: "That's what it looks like, but there is one other thing."

Emma: "What's that?"

Desmond: "You were dressed like the boys – with a top of the same material, but otherwise a string bikini."

Zach giggles. Emma is left speechless.

Desmond: "Let's go eat, and worry about this later. This should be the best food you've had since the crash."

Everybody goes get something to eat. The tail-end group agrees that the food is much better than what they have been scraping up.

Cindy: "This place is neat. I hope nothing happens to it while we're on this island."

Locke: "I'm sure nothing will happen to it unless the island wills it."

There is a banging on an inside door.

Ben: "What's going on? Did you forget about me?"

Shannon: "I guess we did."

Ana-Lucia: "Who's that?"

Sayid: "One of those who we are sure is responsible for the kidnappings. Says his name is Henry Gale. I guess we should take care of him."

Sayid gets a plate of food and unlocks the door. "Here. Would you like to confess now?"

Ben: "I told you before I have nothing to confess."

Sayid: "Too bad."

Ben: "What does that mean? Are you going to torture me?"

Sayid: "I'm not in the mood. There are children here now."

Ben: "Children? From where?"

Sayid: "More survivors … hold it, I'm telling you too much."

Sayid slams the door shut and locks it.

Ana-Lucia: "Wow, that guy does have creepy eyes."

Sun is chopping up leaves and boiling them in water. Jack comes by to watch.

Sun: "One of these combinations should have the same properties as anti-alien paranoia curing drugs. We can test these samples with indicators like vinegar, flour, and corn oil."

Jack: "I guess that makes sense."

Sun uses an eyedropper to put small amounts of the indicators on the various samples. "Which do you think has the closest reaction to what your medicine would be like?"

Jack points at one. "That one. But … there's no way that could be a permanent cure."

Sun: "I never said it would be. If it works, Libby should drink a cup of this, say as tea, twice a day I should imagine."

Jack: "That's pretty close to a normal dosage."

Sun makes a pot of tea with the consensus combination of garden plant leaves. She then goes over to Libby, and pours a cup.

Sun: "Here, we think this will make you feel better."

Libby is wary. "How do I know this is safe?"

Sun sighs, _I could never poison anybody, a_nd drinks the cup herself, and pours another. Libby is convinced, and sips the tea slowly.

Libby: "How will we know when this works?"

Sun: "It takes a few hours for medicine like this to take effect. We'll see how you feel in the morning."

The computer starts beeping.

Boone: "Whose turn is it?"

Hurley: "Let's see … Sawyer and John."

Sawyer: "Whoop dee doo." Sawyer scowls and enters the numbers and presses the "execute" button.

Hurley: "The secondary shift for this time is Jack and Cindy."

Jack: "It will be awfully crowded in here for everybody, so why don't we let the new people spend the night here in the good shelter, and the rest of us who aren't on button duty go back to the beach and check to see if any boats or planes come to rescue us. We can meet back in the hatch tomorrow morning."

Kate: "How thoughtful of you. It's like you're remembering how to act like a leader."

Jack: "I need a confidence booster after Sun's cure for Libby might work when I didn't have one."

Kate: "I admire a man who can admit his inadequacies."

Jack: "Thank you … I think."

Kate, Charlie, Claire, Boone, Shannon, Sayid, Sun, Jin, Hurley, and Desmond go to the beach, straighten out the camp, and settle in for the night.


	40. Slime Plus Water

Morning breaks. As expected, no rescue ships or planes came. Kate realizes Jack, Sawyer, and Locke stayed at the hatch overnight.

Kate: "Good morning everybody. Looks like this is a good time for me to take over the leadership role. We have to go the hatch so a bunch of conversations can take place."

Shannon: "Why did we all come here again?"

Boone: "Haven't you noticed that it's required for lots of people to traipse through the jungle all the time?"

Sayid: "Actually we wanted someone to keep watch in case of rescue."

Hurley: "We probably didn't need all of us, but that hatch can be crowded. But hey, it's also the best place for breakfast."

The group, including Kate, Charlie, Claire, Boone, Shannon, Sayid, Sun, Jin, Hurley, and Desmond makes the hike to the Swan Station.

* * *

Libby wakes up in the Swan station. Her head feels funny. She shakes it to clear cobwebs. "Wow, what a trip."

Everybody else there is waking up.

Jack: "How are you feeling this morning?"

Libby: "Different. Like some mental block was removed."

Jack: "Can you say anything about extraterrestrial aliens?"

Libby: "ET's? There fantasy of course … oh no …what did I do to Walt? I insisted he was an alien, and kept him trapped in a pit most of the time he was with our group. I feel so awful."

Jack: "You mustn't blame yourself. Given your medical condition, you are absolved of all responsibility."

Sawyer: "Morning, Psycho Lady. The Doctor Demento is right, it's perfectly reasonable to think that kid had some alien in him."

* * *

Walt wakes up alone in Room 23, neatly wrapped in duct tape. It takes a minute for him to get his bearings. Then he remembers what happened, and that he was clever enough to expand his chest while being encased in the silver cocoon to give himself some leeway. He takes deep breaths and shrugs his shoulders, jabbing his elbows to the side. After a few tries he breaks holes in the tape. Excited, he continues his efforts, enlarging the holes.

He can't keep a grin off his face as he is having fun, expecting to be able to get out of this. Soon he is getting uncomfortably hot due to his whole body being covered. Fortunately, that makes him perspire, which partially dissolves the adhesive. Continuing his efforts, he gets the holes large enough to force his arms though, and then with more contortions succeeds in unwrapping himself in about half an hour. It doesn't hurt much at all as the sweat makes the tape not stick so much to his skin, which fortunately doesn't have much hair.

_That was neat! Maybe I can escape now. But I'm sure the door is guarded._

Walt remembers the vent in the wall he saw some time ago. He stacks the cages up so he can reach it, and is a bit surprised when it swings open. He takes the rope he was dangling from when he was squirted with Silly String, and loops it over a rafter to help him swing into the ventilation duct. He worms his way through the duct, turns a corner, and then finds himself sliding. He slides through a fake piece of wall that swings open, and he lands on a small platform in the large glass booth he had also seen in Room 23. The booth is about a meter and a half square and four meters tall, and the platform he is standing on is halfway up from the bottom. There is no way out.

_Should have known there would be another trap._

Walt, still kind of hot, sits down to regain his breath. Then Bea walks into the room.

Bea: "Didn't I tell you not to try to escape again?"

Walt: "I guess I never learn."

Bea: "Maybe you will this time."

Bea turns a valve in the wall, and the booth begins to fill with water from an opening beneath Walt's seat.

Walt: "Are you going to fill this so I can float to the top and climb out? How do I get down from the top?"

Bea: "Not quite." The water level stops when it is just below Walt's dangling feet. Bea turns another valve. This time some green slimy stuff empties into the booth.

Walt: "What is this thing? If it had a target attached it would be like one of those carnival dunking booths."

Bea: "What do you mean, 'if'?"

Walt cranes his neck, and now realizes there is something to his left, but he can't see it clearly from his position.

Walt: "Is there a line of people out there waiting to throw baseballs at a target?"

Bea: "Good to see your brain is working. Now do you know the proper behavior is to insult the customers in an attempt to rile them up so much that they miss?"

Walt: "If my punishment involves insulting all of you I will accept it."

Bea: "Good. Your first customer is Ethan."

Ethan walks in snarling, holding a baseball.

Walt: "Ethan! How could you be so stupid as to let me escape when we were playing football?"

Ethan: "If I'm so stupid, how come you let me handcuff you and think the cops and robbers game was real for so long?"

Ethan throws the ball, and hits the target. Walt's platform drops forward, sending him into the slimy water, which is a good decimeter over his head in depth.

Walt: "Yaagh!"

The water is actually quite refreshing, cooling him off, but isn't extremely pleasant due to the slime.

Walt bobs to the surface, and realizes something is amiss. "Hey, there's supposed to be a ladder so I can climb out."

Bea: "An athletic boy like you shouldn't need one. You can jump up and reach the platform, and pull yourself up. The water will make it easier, making you weigh less."

Walt holds his breath, sinks to the bottom, and launches himself up. He grabs the platform, now locked in the horizontal position, and with his upward momentum scrambles on without much difficulty.

Tom is next up.

Walt: "If I had a face like yours, I'd hide it with a fake beard."

Tom: "How did you know … never mind. Your face looks better with slime on it, and remember from that football game that I have a good throwing arm."

Tom throws a baseball and hits the target, and Walt gets dunked again. He splutters and climbs back up, to see Goodwin next in line.

Walt: "Goodwin! How could you go along all that time acting like I was an alien?"

Goodwin: "Just doing my job, and I did it very well."

Goodwin's aim is good enough, and Walt takes another plunge into the slimy water. Walt wonders why everyone seem to have such good aim. Scrambling back up, he sees Alex. She winks at him to let him know that she is still on his side, but they have to keep up the act.

Walt: "Hey Alex, how come a pretty girl like you settled for such a scrawny boyfriend?"

Alex shakes her head, and decided Walt couldn't come up with a good insult in her case.

Alex: "How dare you!"

In any case, it is easy for her to deliver a hard throw at the target, and Walt makes another big splash. Next in line is Karl.

Walt: "Are you sure you want to do this? I don't think you can throw as hard as your girlfriend."

Karl frowns. "Don't insult my manhood!"

Karl delivers a strike, and Walt goes down again. It is getting harder to climb back up, and this time Walt looks through the side of the glass enclosure from the front, and sees the target is a huge circle, easily a meter wide.

Walt: "Hey! The target on these things is supposed to be small, like the size of a baseball. Anyone can hit that."

Bea: "Oopsy. Too late to change it now. Did you notice it also has a hair trigger?"

Somehow Walt is not too surprised.

Mikhail is next.

Walt: "Watch out Cyclops, you can't have good depth perception."

Mikhail: "You better leave the nicknames to Sawyer, you're not good at it."

Even with poor depth perception, Mikhail easily hits the large target. Walt is submerged again, and has to struggle back up to the platform, only to see Danny Pickett next.

Walt: "You! You're too minor a character to be involved with this."

Danny: "Then I better make the most of my fifteen seconds of fame."

Danny has no problem hitting the target. Walt does have a problem scrambling back up to the platform. Once there, he sees Juliet next. Juliet winks at him like Alex did. Walt knows he has to go through this again.

Walt: "I wouldn't want you to hurt your arm."

Juliet: "I'm not some fragile flower! I'm a martial arts expert, remember?"

Juliet hurls a baseball into the large target, and Walt falls into the water again. This time he can only jump to the raised platform and hang on, the water level at his armpits.

Bea: "I think that's enough."

Walt: "You mean you're not going to take a crack at dunking me?"

Bea: "Well, if you insist."

Bea tosses a ball at the target, and the platform dips forward again, sending Walt in one last time. With more effort he bounces up to hang onto the platform after it has snapped back to the horizontal position. Ethan then takes the rope and throws one end of it over a rafter and into the dunk booth, and ties the other to a ring in the wall. It takes Walt fifteen minutes to gain the strength to climb out, only to find himself facing a movie camera.

Bea: "Now stand still, and say 'Push the button, don't push the button, the button is bad."

Walt: "What? I'm dripping with slime, can't I wash off?"

Bea: "We need the slime effect for a prank. Now say the line before too much of the slime drips off, or you're going back in the tank."

Walt sighs: "Push the button, don't push the button, the button is bad."

Bea: "Good. Now your other line is 'They're coming and they're close.'"

Walt: "They're coming and they're close."

Bea: "Good, now you can wash off."

Bea and Ethan escort Walt to a bathroom with a shower.

Walt: "You're not going to blast me with a water hose?"

Bea: "We already did that, and critics hate when we repeat stuff."

Walt goes to wash up, and Ethan waits outside to make sure Walt doesn't try to escape again.

Bea goes to sheriff Isabel's office, where Juliet is also waiting.

Isabel: "Ben has been away for too long without communicating. We must assume he got himself captured, and we have to put his plan into effect. Prepare Walt and Michael for their meeting. You know what to do."

Bea: "Yes."

Bea goes back to the bathroom, where Walt is now clean and dry, and takes him to the examination room.

Bea: "We have good news for you. You may be able to see your father soon, but you have to be restrained until he is ready."

Walt: "He's here? And what is the restraining this time?"

Bea: "Nothing major. We want him to see you in good shape, so just lie down on the exam table."

Walt: "You already strapped me to that, and just said we shouldn't repeat things."

Bea: "Very observant. So lie face down this time."

Walt complies. "But what about the straps?"

Bea: "We'll do something different, so put these on, linking your wrists under the table."

Bea hands Walt the handcuffs from before. Walt realizes it's useless to resist, so he snaps one cuff on, and tries to reach his other hand under the table.

Walt: "I don't think I can reach … hey, I got it!" _What did I just do? I can't move my arms or upper body._

Bea can't resist. She gets some rubbing alcohol like the day before, pours some on Walt's back, and gives him a fairly vigorous back rub. Walt is powerless to stop it, but doesn't complain. Minor aches in his back, shoulders and neck disappear.

Bea: "Hang in there Walt, this will be over soon if you and your father cooperate."

Bea then meets up with Juliet, Ethan, and Tom and they all go to Michael's cage.

Bea: "Good day, Michael. You may be able to see Walt today."

Michael: "Really? I don't believe you have him here."

Juliet: "Michael, I assure you your son is here."

Michael: "Then prove it! I'm not answering any more of your questions until I see him."

Bea: "Very well. We will take you up to the building where he is. But we need to tie you to a post like you said he saw you in a vision."

Michael: "What! No way."

Juliet: "We can always come back tomorrow."

Michael: "No wait, just do it."

Bea: "Good. Now if you try anything, Tom here will zap you with a taser, and you won't get to see Walt."

Michael doesn't see a better option. "Fine, I'll do it."

Juliet unlocks the cage, and Michael walks out. He sees Ethan, who is holding some rope, for the first time since he arrived in Othersville.

Michael: "Ethan! I can't believe you … pretending all that time … and I let you handcuff my son and take him away."

Ethan: "Don't forget you told me to play rough with him."

Michael groans. "I haven't. What an idiot I was."

Ethan: "It wasn't just you; I fooled everybody. Except that twerp Charlie. If it's any consolation to you, Walt had a great time those first two days. Even spent a lot of time in the same cage you did."

Juliet: "That's right, and I assure Walt is in excellent condition. We have been taking good care of him when he hasn't been trying to escape."

Michael: "I guess it does help that Walt did have two days of fun."

They get to the DeGroovy building. There is a lamppost close by outside. Michael thinks about doing something, but thinks better of it and lets Ethan tie his hands behind his back around the pole. Then Ethan ties Michael's ankles together.

Juliet: "We're going to get Walt now."

Juliet, Ethan, and Tom go inside, but Bea waits behind a moment. She admires Michael.

Bea: "Gosh you're handsome."

Michael: "If you like me, why don't you untie me?"

Bea: "I'd get in trouble for that. But I can do this."

Bea steps behind Michael and rubs his shoulders and neck. Then she runs her fingers through his hair, and over his chest, stomach, and arms. Michael feels strange.

Bea: "You have great pecs and abs, and your biceps … you know, you could come live here with us."

Michael's body is tingling and his mind is whirling. "This … isn't right. You took my son. I can't just give in to that, it would be insulting my manhood. Why don't you come live with us on the other end of the island?"

Bea: "Why Michael, I thought you'd never ask. I just wish I could, but that isn't possible now. But maybe soon. I have to go get Walt now."

Bea leaves Michael in a bundle of messed-up emotions.

* * *

The beach group gets to the Swan.

Jack: "Sun, that concoction worked! Libby is normal now."

Sun: "That's great, but there is a problem. There's only enough for two more doses like that."

Jack: "Can't you grow more?"

Sun: "Yes, but that will take a couple weeks."

Jin: "I can guess. When we're done talking here, we go back and plant new seeds."

Sun: "What will be best?"

Jack: "I think we should give Libby the next dose tomorrow morning, see how long that last before she starts seeing aliens again, and then give her the third dose."

Sun: "Sounds reasonable to me."

Libby sees Hurley, and recognizes him.

Libby: "I remember you! We met in that … institution."

Hurley looks at Libby, and it comes back to him. "That's right. I … try not to admit I was there, but who cares anymore."

Libby: "That's the attitude. We should do something to celebrate."

Hurley: "There isn't a whole lot to do here. Hey, do you play golf?"

Libby: "No, but I'm sure you can teach me. But how about we go on a picnic first?"

Hurley: "Sounds like a date."

Then Libby sees and recognizes Desmond.

Libby: "You! You're the man I gave the boat to."

Desmond: "That's right. It's great to see your memory returning."

Libby: "What happened to the boat? Weren't you going on an around-the-world race?"

Desmond: "Aye. Didn't quite make it. I crashed during a storm on this island, and haven't been able to fix the ship. But now that there's more people here, we might be able to fix 'The Elizabeth' up. That's been a plot point that keeps getting dropped."

Libby: "I'd like to help on that, but I've got a date first."

When Libby goes to make arrangements with Hurley, Emma approaches Desmond.

Emma: "Can you tell me more about this vision you had, the one that says you saw me in a boarskin thong helping Walt?"

Desmond: "There isn't much more to say. It was you, your brother, and Walt out there alone, making your way somewhere, and that's the way it has to be."

Emma: "Does that mean if I don't change we won't rescue Walt?"

Desmond: "It means a lot more than that. A couple years ago a strange man visited me here."

Emma: "I thought you were alone here all this time."

Desmond: "Almost. I think I was supposed to forget about that visit until the right moment, and this seems like the right time. His name was Daniel Faraday, and he was some physicist with an obsession with constants."

Emma: "A physicist named Faraday? But there was some old physicist named Faraday, right? There's some unit named after him, like capacitance."

Desmond: "That's a farad. A faraday, named after Michael Faraday, is a unit of charge that pretty much got replaced by some number of coulombs in the metric system."

Emma: "What were we talking about again?"

Desmond: "Daniel explained to me how I have this ability to see events in the future, and I have to help make sure they take place. Something about course correction. So to answer your question, not only won't you be able to rescue Walt if you refuse to change, you will cause a hole to open in the space-time continuum that will tear apart the fabric of time and space and destroy the universe."

Emma looks stunned. "I didn't realize I was that important."

Desmond: "Everyone who comes to this island has a chance of becoming important. So what are you going to do?"

Emma: "I would like to save Walt, and I'd really hate to be responsible for destroying the universe. I guess it's worth looking silly for a while."

Desmond: "Good girl. You know what to do?"

Emma: "Yes. Just one more question. Doesn't knowing the future kind of ruin the suspense?"

Desmond: "I guess it does. But what can you do?"

Emma: "Maybe not use the flashforward device too much."

Desmond: "Aye, but I can't help when I get these flashes. Good luck."

Emma gets up and goes find Locke, who is teaching Zach how to play chess.

Emma: "Mr. Locke, Desmond explained that in order to save Walt and the universe I need a boarskin bikini like in his vision. So … can you make me one?"

Locke: "Of course. This sounds important. Let's go immediately. Sorry we have to postpone the chess lesson, Zach."

Zach: "No problem. Let's go."

Locke, Emma, and Zach head toward the caves.

Locke: "So explain this vision of Desmond's?"

Emma: "He said that he saw us helping Walt walk through a field. The boys were in boarskin loincloths, and I had a matching thong bikini. There was nobody else around, and Desmond says that if the event doesn't happen the way he sees it, the fabric of time and space will be ripped and the universe destroyed."

Zach: "Awesome! It's cool to have so much power."

Locke: "But you have to act appropriately. Now in order for this rescue to work, you will have to able to live off the land without any help."

Zach: "Like the Aborigines, right?"

Locke: "Right."

Emma: "Walt would make a great Aborigine. He's so cute. Unlike Zach."

Zach: "Hey! What did he see in you again?"

Locke: "Stop the squabbling, you have to work together. Now we're here."

Locke cuts more strips from the wild boar carcass, and explains: "Emma, this thin piece goes around your waist. This piece goes over and through the belt, and you can tie the ends together. This will be your top; it's wide enough to fold over so that there will be skin against your skin and also showing on the outside. It can be tied in back. We just have to heat it first to sterilize it. Now Zach, you start the fire."

Locke hands Zach one of his knives, and Zach strikes a rock against it like Locke showed him the day before. After four attempts, Zach gets the fire going.

Emma is impressed. "Wow Zach, I didn't think you could do that. You're usually such a klutz."

Zach: "I've been feeling much more confident since I spent time with John yesterday. There's something about having nothing but this loincloth that makes me feel more in tune with my surrounding."

Locke: "That's right, Walt had a similar experience, and Emma, you should call me 'John' too. I don't like needless formality."

Emma: "Okay, John."

With the fire going, Locke stretches the boarskin strips over the flames. Soon they are ready, and John and Zach go into a cave to let Emma change. She does, and a few minutes later they meet up.

Locke: "How does it feel?"

Emma: "It fits fine, and feels kind of good, but I feel ridiculous."

Zach laughs. "Seriously, I think Walt will find you very attractive in that outfit."

Emma: "I suppose you're right. I can get used to this by wearing my real clothes over it."

Locke: "I don't think that's a good idea. For this rescue to work, I think you need to get comfortable in what you'll be wearing when the rescue will happen. Zach is doing just fine; can't you do the same as your little brother? At least for Walt's sake?"

Emma can't turn down the challenge. "Of course I can! What did Zach do, donate his old clothes to be used for Aaron's diaper material?"

Locke: "That's right, and I'm sure Claire will appreciate more material that will last several days."

Zach: "Come on, Emma. Want to have a bet as to who can go longer without wearing regular clothes?"

Emma: "You're on!"

Locke: "Good. Now we'll start your training. Today' we're going to learn how to find fresh water, what trees and plants provide edible food, how to track, and how to move through the jungle without leaving a trail or making noise."

Zach: "How long will that take?"

Locke: "A couple days I imagine. You also need to learn how to find or make a shelter in the jungle since this may be a long trip."

Locke leads Emma and Zach into the jungle, and imparts his immense wisdom.

* * *

Back in the Swan Station, Eko sees Claire and Aaron. "Are you ready for the baptism ceremony?"

Claire: "Yes. We can go to the pond now."

Charlie: "I'm coming along."

Eko: "Of course. Anyone else who wishes to bear witness is welcome."

Rose: "I'm probably the most religious one here, and this is a chance for me to get more involved in something."

Bernard: "Sounds good, dear."

Ana-Lucia: "I'd like to come." _And see that hunk Eko in action._

Cindy: "I have nothing else to do."

A group goes to the pond by the caves. Eko gives the instructions.

"Hold the baby Aaron, and wade out with me."

Eko wades into the pond until the water reaches his waist, and Claire follows. Charlie takes a few steps in.

Eko cups his hands, reaches into the water. "I baptize you in the name of the Father,"

Eko opens his hands, and lets the water spill onto Aaron's head. Aaron coos happily.

Eko: "of the Son,"

Eko repeats the process.

Eko: "and of the Holy … something or other."

Charlie whispers loudly: "Spirit."

Eko: "Oh right. It was either that or 'goat.' I mean 'ghost.' And of the Holy Spirit." Eko lets a third double handful cascade onto Aaron's head. "Welcome to the Kingdom of God."

Claire: "That was beautiful, Father Eko. Thank you so much."

Eko: "You are most welcome." Eko looks into Claire's eyes, and sees something isn't quite right. "Is there something you wish to tell me?"

Claire: "I … was never baptized. Would you …?"

Eko: "Of course. Please have someone hold Aaron."

Charlie: "I'll do it." Charlie wades in the rest of the way, and Claire puts Aaron into Charlie's arms. The baby is smiling. Charlie steps back to give Eko and Claire room.

Eko: "The procedure is a little different for a healthy adult. Are you ready?"

Claire: "Yes, what do you mean?"

Eko places his right hand on Claire's head. "I baptize you in the name of the Father."

Eko bends Claire forward and holds her head underwater for a second. Then he yanks her head back up.

Claire is spluttering. "What …?"

Eko: "of the Son,"

Eko forces Claire underwater again, for two seconds this time, but this time Claire is more prepared and holds her breath.

Eko: "and of the Holy Spirit."

Claire goes down for the third time for three seconds now, and feels herself pulled back up.

Eko: "Welcome to the Kingdom of God."

Claire: "Uh … thank you. You could have warned me that you were going to mess up my hair."

Charlie: "It looks like there is some kind of dead animal on your head."

Eko: "You will succeed in un-messing it up." Eko looks around.

Charlie: "I have been baptized."

There are no more volunteers for baptism. Charlie gives Aaron back to Claire, and they wade back out. Ana-Lucia is mesmerized by Eko's body as water drips off it.

Rose: "That was a lovely ceremony."


	41. Four Minutes

Hurley and Libby are discussing plans for their picnic.

Hurley: "Do you want to go back to the beach?"

Libby: "That would make sense, but I'm curious to see what the boat I gave Desmond looks like."

Hurley: "I'd kind of like to see it too. It's actually pretty boring only going back and forth between our beach and the hatch. Oops, I did see it once, with Desmond, Sayid, and Shannon, Jack, but that got forgotten."

Libby: "Yes, I can imagine just going back and forth between two places could you drive you crazy."

Hurley winces.

Libby: "Sorry, that was a bad choice of words. Let's just go."

Most of the group in the Swan Station go to Desmond's sailboat, carrying lots of tools. This time it is Claire and Charlie's turn to be on button pushing duty, with Rose and Bernard as the backup pair who will use that shift to rest.

A bit desperate, Boone strikes up a conversation with Cindy.

Boone: "How're you doing?"

Cindy: "Okay. It feels a bit strange; I've been helping look after those two kids for so long, and now they're running off with that John Locke character."

Boone: "Yeah, I used to hang out with John, but he's become more pre-occupied with those kids. I guess we have something in common."

Cindy: "Well, I guess that's a start."

The group reaches "The Elizabeth." As was the case five days before, it is still in serious need of repairs.

Sayid: "Desmond, can you show me the radio? I know I should have asked the first time I was here, but for the sake of continuity let's say I figured it was hopeless to repair this vessel at that time."

Desmond: "Aye. This way. I'm afraid the storm destroyed it. And nice weaseling out a possible plot hole."

Desmond shows Sayid the damaged radio.

Sayid: "You're right; it is pretty destroyed."

Shannon: "But Sayid is an electrical genius. If anyone can fix that he can."

Sayid: "It may be possible. There are lots of electrical gizmos in the hatch. Maybe I can rig something up, but it will take some time."

Sayid and Desmond carefully remove the radio and all parts that look like they belong.

Kate: "The mast is obviously broken and needs to be replaced. Looks like someone will need to chop down a good tree."

Kate's eyes bounce between Sawyer and Jack.

Sawyer: "I believe I'm the most qualified for that and look the best doing it. But this feels awful similar to making a mast for the raft."

Cindy: "What raft?"

Ana-Lucia: "The one that burned?"

Sawyer looks menacingly at Ana-Lucia: "Wait a minute, Rambina, how do you know about that raft?"

Eko: "Calm down, Sawyer. There's a perfectly good explanation. Walt told us about that when he was with us and interrogated him. Cindy wasn't present at the time, and we must not have told her all the details."

Sayid's interest is piqued. "Interrogation?"

A wave of guilt sweeps over Eko. He drops to his knees and makes the sign of the cross on his chest.

Eko: "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

Libby breaks down besides Eko: "No, it's my fault. I insisted we leave him like that."

Jack: "What are you talking about?"

Ana-Lucia retains her composure. "Walt said he was taking us to your camp when he stepped in a rope trap, which closed around his ankles and suspended him upside-down. If we hadn't pushed him ahead, one of us, Bernard I'm pretty sure, would have walked into it. Therefore we thought he was trying to trap us. We decided not to let him down until he answered all our questions truthfully."

Sawyer look at Ana-Lucia funny, and then snickers. "That's it? You feel guilty about leaving Bad Boy upside-down while you questioned him? That's nothing to that kid."

Libby: "But he was also handcuffed, and looked so pathetic and helpless."

The middle section group tries to keep straight faces, and then bursts out laughing.

Hurley tries to reassure Libby. "That's still no problem. He gets into those situations all the time, and he can definitely handle it."

Libby sniffles, and wipes her eyes. "Thank you, I feel better. I just don't feel like going on a picnic right now. I'd rather help with this boat, and get us all out of here."

Hurley: "That's okay, what difference can a day make for the picnic?"

Jack: "I'm still the doctor, so I have to be concerned about the health of all my patients. Was Walt okay after you let him down after the questioning?"

Eko: "Actually, we didn't let him down until the next day. I accused him of lots of sins, and he got angry, and then the birds flew in and pooped on him, and there was a sudden big storm, so we all ran away."

Sawyer: "I wouldn't give up on the alien theory too quickly."

Eko: "But I did get him down the next day. He was in good spirits, making friends with Emma and Zach. Zach even stepped into the trap to be spun around as a form of entertainment."

Shannon: "Maybe Zach caught something Walt had."

Boone: "I think it's just a case of 'boys will be boys'."

Cindy: "Didn't we get sidetracked about the raft?"

Eko: "Right, I remember now, Walt said he burned the first raft, and that you were making a second. A reason he was sent away on the cops and robbers game was to keep him out of the way while the second raft was finished. There was no raft on the beach when our group got there. What happened to that raft?"

Kate: "We did finish it and set sail, but soon a mechanical shark appeared and took some large bites out of it. We had to turn back, and it had practically disintegrated by the time we reached shore."

Sawyer: "Um, did anyone of you eggheads think the same could happen to this sailboat?"

Desmond: "The hull is metal, so it will stand up to shark bites a lot better than a wooden raft. My ship is also a lot bigger, so it's worth a shot. Of course there's also a lot of damage to the hull, and we'll have to patch a lot of things up. But with all this help now I think we can get a fair amount accomplished."

Jin: "Look, there's a lot of good fishing equipment here. I'll be able to increase our fish supply with this."

Sun: "Dear, that's called a 'non-sequitur'."

Jin: "Is that a good thing?"

Sun: "In this case, I think it is."

* * *

Back at the Swan, Charlie has gathered up his nerve. But he needs something that is not likely to be found in the station. He searches all the rooms looking for anything suitable. Finally in the pantry freezer he finds a box of frozen onion rings. Charlie then approaches Claire to make the speech of his life.

Charlie: "Claire, I have come to the conclusion that there is no point in wasting any more time. I know I want to live the rest of my life with you."

Charlie gets down on one knee, and holds a small box containing the ring to Claire.

Charlie: "Will you marry me?"

Claire gasps: "Why Charlie! I … I … is that an onion ring?"

Charlie: "Sorry, it was the best I could do here. I promise to get you a real ring, you know, made of gold, with a diamond in it, when we get back to civilization."

Claire: "That's okay. This is all so sudden. I … I … "

At that moment the warning beeper goes off.

Claire: "I have to enter the numbers!"

* * *

Locke guides Emma and Zach through the jungle. He teaches them how to track, and how to walk without leaving a trace. The siblings learn quickly, and are enthralled in the experience. Next comes the lesson on how to move about without making a sound. Emma is better at this than Zach, who has to overcome his tendency to giggle.

Emma: "Zach is probably part laughing hyena."

Locke then imparts his weeks of experience with regard to the native flora. He points out which trees have edible fruit. This time Zach turns out to be more proficient than Emma in climbing trees.

Emma: "Zach is definitely part monkey."

Zach makes funny noises and takes it as a compliment.

Locke goes on to show them indications of where fresh water might be found. He lets them practice, and by considering contours and listening carefully, soon they find a stream. They drink up, and Locke has more words of wisdom.

Locke: "In order to find Walt, you must experience much of what he has experienced here. Now I want you two to stand over there and there, and face each other."

Emma and Zach comply. They are about twenty meters from each other.

Locke: "This is a text of agility. Jump backwards as far as you can on my count. One, two, three, jump!"

They glance backward to make sure it is level ground, and jump. Before they know it, they each are caught in a boar trap, suspended a couple meters over the ground, and coincidentally twenty-three meters apart.

Emma has rolled onto her back with her arms and legs in the air. "Hey! What's the big idea?"

Zach's arms and legs are all tangled up in the gaps between the ropes making up his net. "That was a neat ride."

Locke: "Walt spent a lot of time in these nets. You must learn as he did. Now have a race to see who can get out fastest."

Zach: "Can you lend me one of your knives?"

Locke: "Yes."

Locke stands there impassively. Emma is figuring out how to climb to the small opening in the top, while Zach is sitting stuck.

Zach: "John, didn't you say you were going to lend me a knife?"

Locke: "No, you asked me if I could lend you a knife. I answered truthfully; I am physically capable of it. But I am not going to lend you a knife. Walt got out of these with no help, so you have to, too."

Zach's attitude changes. "If Walt could do it, then so can I."

Zach flounders, ands ends up watching as Emma manages to get her weight to one side of her net and force the opening large enough for her to snake through. Then she climbs down the side to the bottom and drops to the ground. It takes Zach another fifteen minutes to duplicate the process.

Locke: "Walt was a lot better at that than you two, but Emma did a pretty good job for the first time."

Zach: "Can we do that again? I'm sure I'll do better this time."

Locke: "It's a pain to reset the traps, and we have other stuff to do. But if we come across another trap, you're most welcome to step into it."

Emma: "I wonder how Walt is doing now."

* * *

Bea joins Juliet, Ethan, and Tom, who are waiting by Walt, who is still lying face-down with his hands cuffed under the examination table.

Bea: "Now listen, Walt. We are going to take you to see your father, who is just outside. You're going to tell him that you're fine, and we just need to keep you for a few more days. Then he has to return and bring one of our people back, and then you can leave with your father."

Walt: "One of your people? You mean Ben, don't you? He's the only one missing."

Bea: "Don't get smart." Bea pushes down hard on Walt's shoulder blades and rubs up and down, crushing his chest into the padding on top of the table. Walt sighs in contentment as it feels good.

Juliet: "Cool it, Bea. Now there are some things we have to keep secret, Walt. You can't tell him about our village; we need your father and the rest of your camp to think that we live primitively, and only have these old simple clothes. Just tell him that we need to study you a little more; that there's something about you that if we understand and harness properly could have tremendous benefits to mankind."

Walt: "If you're supposed to be a primitive society, how can you do all that?"

Juliet: "Look, just don't mess this up. Not everything has to be logical, and your father should be so excited to see you that he won't question it."

Bea: "Also, to keep things under control, we can't let you talk for long. You will have three minutes."

Walt: "Three minutes? Three isn't one of the numbers."

Ethan: "Walt has a good point. We want to use the Vermicelli Equation numbers whenever possible."

Walt: "Vermicelli Equation? What's that?"

Bea: "You fool; you weren't supposed to let him know about that yet. Walt, don't mention that, and you can talk for four minutes."

Walt: "Okay, it's a deal."

Bea: "Good. Now here's the handcuff key, unlock yourself. I know you'll prefer that than having one of us do that for you."

Bea hands Walt the key under the table.

Walt: "Yes, but I can't see what I'm doing. But that's all right."

Walt fumbles for a minute trying to reach the keyhole, and finally gets it. Juliet goes outside to inform Michael, tied to the post outside the DeGroovy building, the situation.

Juliet: "We're bringing Walt out now. You will have four minutes to talk with him. Then we will have a mission for you, and when you have completed it you can take Walt with you."

Michael: "Mission? You give me Walt back right now. What have you been doing with him? I swear, there better not be a mark on him or I'll throttle you all!"

Juliet, calmly. "Do you realize how much your muscles bulge when you're angry?"

Michael is discombobulated: "What?"

Juliet traces a finger across Michael's chest and stomach. "See? Your abs tensed, and … I can see why Bea is so attracted to you."

Michael: "You all are crazy! Now don't change the subject. I want to see Walt, now!"

Just then Bea leads Walt, Ethan, and Tom out the door. Walt blinks and goes blank for a moment, as Michael appears exactly like Walt had envisioned him while he was tied to the tree and drugged by Locke. On the other hand, Michael had pictured Walt wearing the same sort of plain old clothes everyone else in the village was.

Michael: "WAAAAAALLLLLLT!"

Juliet: "Oh come on, couldn't you have said something less predictable?"

Michael growls. "What is the meaning of parading him around like that? It was different on our beach where we had a severe shortage of clothes, but if you people have them, you could at least let him fit in."

Juliet: "You just said there better not be a mark on his body. What better way to prove it to you than bring him here in the loincloth he left you in?"

Michael is speechless for a second, and then Walt is close enough to talk to. Walt remembers what he is and is not allowed to say.

Walt: "It's okay, Dad, Juliet here did give me real clothes, but I overheated badly and got ill. I'm used to this. And they've been treating me well."

Walt turns around so Michael can see there are no marks on Walt's back.

Michael: "Walt, it's so good to see you. You … you're bigger. Taller, bigger muscles …"

Walt: "Yeah, I'm definitely into my growth spurt, and it's coming big time. Hey, remember the last time I did this? How do I look now?"

Walt puffs out and beats his chest, and then flexes his biceps.

Michael: "Of course I remember. That's when I had buried you deep in the sand, and packed it so hard you didn't have a prayer of getting out. You were showing me you were tough. But now your arms and chest are quite a bit bigger, and your voice sounds a tad deeper."

Walt: "Yeah, those were good times. So what's been happening since I've been away? How's Vincent?"

Michael: "Vincent is good. He spends a lot of time with his polar bear friend, but he misses you."

Walt: "Did you ever find that thing I told John not to blow up?"

Michael: "Oh yes, that hatch, or the Swan Station. We didn't have to blow it up, Shannon found a doorbell to a hidden entrance that Boone found. There was a man named Desmond living there, pushing buttons on a computer to save the world or so he says. There's something strange about him, he has flashes about the future. He touched me and said he saw me tied to a post, a lot like you did. That place has lots of food and nice stuff; I'm showing it to you when we get back."

Walt: "They said you'd have to do something for them to let me go back with you."

Michael: "I'd do anything to get you out of here."

Walt is concerned. "You don't mean that really, do you?"

Michael: "Of course I do. Anything to get you out of the hands of these crazy people."

Walt: "You mean you'd kill innocent people?"

Michael falters. "Um … I don't know … guilty people for sure."

Walt: "I could never respect you if you hurt or betrayed any of our friends to get me out of here. I wouldn't want to live with you or have anything to do with you if you were a traitor. Promise me you won't do that."

Michael sees the pleading look on Walt's face. "Okay, I'll get you out of here without doing anything you wouldn't have me do."

Bea: "Time's up." The Others do not like where this conversation just headed.

Walt senses there is a going to be a problem. _I have to warn Dad._ Ethan and Tom start to grab Walt's arms, but Walt breaks free, runs up to Michael, and hugs him.

Walt: "Dad, don't trust them. They're not who say there are."

Michael: "What do you mean?"

Bea: "Walter! That's enough. Say any more and you're going back to 'The Room'."

Walt quickly recalls the events in Room 23, and decides that is a rather empty threat. He can handle anything they throw at him in there. "They don't really live like primitives; they have a real modern village a little distance away. And they make me take tests."

Michael, alarmed: "What kinds of tests?"

Walt: "Everything! History, math, geography, social studies, science, English, spelling, it was horrible!"

Michael, at everyone but Walt: "You fiends!"

Bea: "That's it. Ethan, Tom, take Walter to 'The Room'. And no pussy-footing around any more; we have to implement plan P."

Walt wedges his hands in spaces between Michael's body and the ropes lashing him to the pole to make it harder for Ethan and Tom to pull Walt off.

Michael: "'The Room?' What is this room?"

Walt: "It will be okay, they're not allowed to hurt me. Also, there's another group of survivors from the tail section out there somewhere, Ana-Lucia, Eko, Bernard who is Rose's husband, Libby, Cindy, Emma and Zach. I escaped once and found them, but the Others had a plant named Goodwin in there. Emma and Zach are about 10 and 8, and Emma likes me. But watch out, Libby thinks I'm an alien from outer space."

Michael: "Why would anyone think that?"

Walt: "Because when I found them I was all tied up, handcuffed, gagged, and had 'BAD BOY' painted on my front and the funny heptagon Dharpa symbol on my back. Find out what you can about the Vermicelli Equation. And remember what you promised in case they make me say you should forget it."

Ethan and Tom manage to wrestle Walt off Michael and force him back into the building and into Room 23 as ominous music plays in the background.


	42. The Vermicelli Equation

Ethan and Tom put Walt on his back on a large wooden table and buckle strong straps to his wrists and ankles. It is a tight fit, but the insides of the straps, against Walt's skin, are padded, so they don't dig into his wrists and ankles and hurt him. The other ends of the straps go through eye bolts at the corners of the table, and are attached to cylinders underneath. Ethan turns a crank at the side of the table, which is essentially a rack, forcing Walt's hands and feet to be stretched toward the corners.

Ethan: "How are you? Can you move?"

Walt waves his hands and feet. "I'm okay, and yes."

Ethan: "Good." Ethan turns the crank some more, and Walt is soon spread-eagled, but not too tightly as he can still move a centimeter or two. "How's that?"

Walt wriggles and strains at the straps, but it is clear he is going nowhere this time. "Can you move the crank back a notch?"

Ethan: "Why? Are you in pain?"

Walt: "No, it's just that I can't reach anything. I can't bring my hands together to unbuckle the straps, or reach the edge of the table, or anything. You got to give me some chance to escape or it's not interesting."

Ethan: "I'm sorry, but in this case we have to be sure you can't escape, and don't tell me what I got to do."

Walt: "The line is 'don't tell me what I can't do,' and I don't think you're sorry."

Ethan chuckles. "You're right, I'm not. See you later."

Ethan and Tom go back outside, where Bea is explaining Michael's task.

Bea: "Michael, here is what you must do to get Walt back. Our leader, who is going by the name of Henry Gale, is being held prisoner by your people. You must release him by any means necessary, and bring back the four people on this list. It must be exactly these four people, no more, no less."

Bea holds the list in front of Michael's face.

Michael: "Jack Shephard, Kate Austin, James Ford, Hugo Reyes. I know Jack and Kate, but who are James and Hugo?"

Ethan: "You know them as Sawyer and Hurley, respectively. Weren't you paying attention when Hurley took the census?"

Michael has to think back. "I guess you're right. That's when you came up with some fake name."

Ethan: "That's right – Eko Tunde."

Michael: "Eko Tunde? Walt said there was an 'Eko' among the tail section survivors."

Tom: "Maybe Mikey wasn't supposed to know about them."

Juliet: "He would find out about them anyway when he goes to get Ben."

Bea: "Juliet! You weren't supposed to use his real name."

Juliet: "Everyone will find out soon enough. That's about the most pointless idea we had here."

Bea: "Anyway, Michael, you shouldn't have to refer to Ben by name. Now off you go."

Tom unties Michael from the post with Ethan on guard with a taser in case Michael does something stupid.

Michael is trembling. "I can release this guy, but you're asking me to betray … I can't, I promised Walt."

Bea sighs. "We have something that will change your mind. Come on."

Michael is escorted to Room 23, where he is appalled at the sight of Walt, the nearly naked boy spread-eagled on the rack. "You people are sick! What's wrong with you, tying up an innocent kid like that?"

Bea: "Don't rush to judgment; we have more in common than you think. Didn't you tie Walt, wearing just the same boarskin loincloth he has now, to a tree?"

Michael: "I didn't tie Walt to a tree almost naked! I only left him tied to a tree almost naked! It was John Locke who tied him to that tree."

Juliet: "I don't think that's a big difference."

Michael: "Maybe it isn't, but then Walt needed to be taught a lesson."

Bea: "He needs to be taught a lesson now. He is vitally important to the future of mankind, but his behavior is jeopardizing that."

Walt: "Actually this is a lot more comfortable than being tied to that tree was. My back and shoulders got pretty sore with my arms tied behind my back for so long. And Dad congratulated John and shook his hand at the time."

Bea to Michael: "Anyway, Walt is staying right there until you return from your mission."

Walt: "Remember what you promised, Dad. Don't worry about me, they're bluffing; they're not allowed to hurt me. They may paint something stupid on me or make me listen to trash, but I can take it. I've been tied up a lot, and if I can't get loose they always let me go after several hours."

Michael is getting more incensed. He glares at the Others. "You tied up my son a lot?"

Ethan: "A lot of it was when he thought we were playing cops and robbers, and he loved it."

Bea puts her hands on Michael's shoulders. "Calm down Michael, and don't judge us so hastily. Isn't it true that you lured Walt into a net trap to test it?"

Michael stammers. "Y-yes."

Bea: "And what was the result?"

Michael: "He acted real mad at first, but you could tell he was having a blast escaping. Pretty soon he was sleeping in one of those nets every night."

Bea is gently rubbing Michael's shoulders.

Bea: "And didn't you also on several occasions bury him in the sand so deep and so packed in that he couldn't get out?"

Michael: "Yes, but that was to keep him from burning the second raft, and I think he enjoyed that for the most part."

Bea: "Walt, what do you have to say about this?"

Walt: "It felt neat being buried in the sand. And most of the time it was fun being tied up or stuck in a cage or the mud or something and trying to escape. Those were more of the tests these people gave me. Sometimes I got out, and sometimes I couldn't, or needed a little help. The uncertainty of whether I can escape makes it exciting. But this isn't so good; I have no chance of getting out of this by myself."

Walt tugs ineffectually at the straps.

Bea: "See Michael, we make a great team."

Michael's brain is whirling. Bea is making sense to him. _This is the time to ask for something big._ "After I do this, I don't want to live in fear that we'll just get kidnapped again. I want guaranteed passage off this island."

Juliet: "We do have a boat."

Bea is not pleased at the thought of Michael and Walt leaving. Walt grants a reprieve.

Walt: "Dad, I'm not going on that boat with you if … you know …. And I can tell if you're lying."

Michael steps back from Bea. "I can't live with a son who doesn't respect me."

Bea sighs in disappointment. "Ethan, Plan P."

Ethan grins wickedly, and leaves the room. A minute later he wheels in a crane-like device with a blade shaped like an axe at the end of a long pendulum. He places it so that the blade over Walt, then adjusts it, measuring with a ruler, so that the blade hangs still a foot over Walt's bellybutton,. Ethan then pulls the pendulum device to the side.

Michael: "What! You're going to threaten to cut my son in half? You can't possibly be that barbaric."

Bea: "Of course not. The blade isn't sharp. Feel for yourself."

Michael does, and finds that it is made of rubber.

Michael: "Then what …?"

Ethan raises the blade, and then produces a black feather duster from the cart he wheeled the crane in on. He fastens the duster to the bottom of the blade with duct tape, measures the length of the duster, and then raises the blade to the top of the crane, near the ceiling. He then moves the whole contraption back so that the blade is centered high over Walt's navel. From his position it is hard for Walt to see what Ethan is doing, but a feeling of dread comes over him.

Bea: "I'm sorry it came down to this, but we have no choice. That duster is made from feathers of a bird native to this island. I believe you have encountered it before – it makes a noise that sounds like 'Hurley.'

This blade is finely tuned to descend a fraction of a millimeter with each stroke. Once the blade is in motion, it will take seventy-two hours to lower to the position Ethan just set it."

Walt: "Seventy-two isn't one of those Vermicelli Equation numbers."

Bea: "No, but the largest is forty-two, and that won't give your father enough time."

Walt: "Sorry, forget I said anything."

Bea continues. "When the blade reaches its bottom-most position, the feathers will be in position to barely scrape Walt's tummy. There is extremely little friction involved, so the blade will keep swinging, over and over, until someone stops it. And no one will stop it until Michael returns from his successful mission."

Walt panics. He strains mightily at the straps, and wriggles and writhes, but still can't move much more than a centimeter. "No, anything but that. Dad, forget what I said, just do anything to get me out of here!"

The sight of Walt struggling breaks Michael down. "Okay, I'll do it."

Walt settles down, in part from exhausting himself quickly.

Michael: "What was that about the Vermicelli Equation?"

Bea: "The Vermicelli Equation, derived by the brilliant scientist Mario Luigi Vermicelli, is a formula that computes the day mankind will cease to exist due to its own actions. In order for doomsday to be delayed indefinitely, the core variables, which are related to obscure atmospheric phenomena, must be set to four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, and forty-two. Before your plane crashed, the values were three, nine, fourteen, seventeen, twenty-four, and forty-one. However, we believe that at least the first two variables now have the correct values, and that they changed the day you and your friends left Walt tied to a tree for hours, and the day that Walt escaped from here, but got caught and tied up by Ethan before the orange smoke monster appeared. Our theory is that Walt can somehow change these numbers when he's under great duress."

Michael: "Orange smoke monster?"

Bea: "Just act cool, and it will leave you alone. Anyway, Ben is the expert, and we need him to determine whether there is cause and effect here. Meanwhile, we tried a few stressful things in this room, but didn't get any meaningful results."

Michael: "What kind of things?"

Bea: "Covering Walt with Silly String, hitting him in the face with pies, and dunking him in a booth with slimy water. So we have to try something more severe, like tickling."

Michael: "You have no right to experiment on my son without my permission."

Bea: "This is for the greater good. The fate of humanity, including your son, is at stake. Think of it this way: your son could be the greatest superhero of them all. You should be proud of him."

Michael looks at Walt, helplessly stretched out on the table. "He doesn't exactly look like a powerful superhero now."

Bea: "Looks can be deceiving."

Walt suddenly realizes something, and would have slapped his forehead if he could. "I'm so stupid! I should have seen this coming. It was foreshadowed."

Michael: "What do you mean?"

Walt: "That Book Club read 'The Scarlet Letter,' and I got letters painted on me. And then I was there when we read Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Pit and the Pendulum.' I spent a lot of time in the pit Ana-Lucia dug and Libby insisted I stay in because she thought I was an alien. So I should have figured that some day I'd be tied down under a lowering pendulum!"

Michael: "That's a pretty obscure foreshadowing. If anyone saw that coming I'd like to hear about it."

Juliet: "Hey, our audience is pretty sharp; I bet someone guessed that was coming."

Walt: "So does 'Plan P' stand for "pendulum"?

Michael: "It could stand for 'Poe'."

Juliet: "It actually stands for both."

Bea: "Enough of that. It's time to go."

Ethan pulls a lever on the crane and the pendulum starts in motion. Walt struggles once more, but gives up soon as it is clear it is hopeless. Instead, he thinks of how he can talk his way out of this.

Michael: "Don't worry Walt; I'll get you out of this."

Ethan, Tom and Bea escort Michael out. Juliet stays behind with Walt.

Walt: "You're not really going to leave me strapped down here for seventy-two hours, are you?"

Juliet: "I don't want to, but you're too likely to escape. Why not?"

Walt: "Because these things always come down to the last second. And besides I have to eat, and uh … you know. So how about you unstrap me, and I'll let you guys tie me back down five – no four, make it one of those numbers – minutes before the deadline?"

Juliet: "That sounds reasonable, but we'll have to wait for Bea to come back."

* * *

Outside the DeGroovy building, Tom and Ethan give Michael his backpack back. Bea gives the instructions.

Bea: "Michael, you know you have to do whatever it takes. Here is a medallion that you can use to hypnotize whoever might be guarding Ben."

Bea gives Michael a medallion identical to the one she used to hypnotize Walt, which made him overheat when wearing regular clothes and reinforced his not objecting to being tied up.

Michael: "So it's like in the movies? Let this thing swing back and forth, say 'you're getting sleepy,' and all that?"

Bea: "Yes. But if it doesn't work, you may have to use a gun. Tom will provide it when they let you go."

Michael: "What happened to the rifle I came here with?"

Bea: "That would be too loud and messy."

Tom: "And we kept it. That was a rather nice weapon."

Ethan: "And don't forget we have you absurdly vastly outgunned, so trying anything foolish would be foolish."

Michael: "Isn't trying something foolish always foolish?"

Ethan: "Just shut up and get moving."

* * *

Bea returns to Room 23.

Juliet: "Walt has a suggestion that we release him, and only tie him back down again four minutes before the deadline because these things always go down to the last second."

The women face Walt as Bea ponders. "That could be possible, but you'd just try to escape."

Walt: "No I wouldn't. I know this place is too well guarded now."

Bea: "That's not good enough. You'd try something when we're asleep."

Juliet: "We need to think of something that would prove we can trust you."

Walt believes he can talk his way out of this. "Anything … within reason of course."

Bea: "All right: we'll release you now, but when it's time for bed, you shall resume your current position with no objections. It doesn't matter how you sleep as long as you're secure. And while you're awake, we have some more tests for you."

Walt: "Can you make a better offer?"

Bea: "We can just leave you like that for the next three days."

Walt has to decide which is worse: more tests or being tied under the pendulum. Since he has no chance of escaping in his current state, he reluctantly decides on the former. "More tests will be fine. I accept your generous offer." _That will give me time to figure out how to escape again._

Juliet undoes the buckles of the straps, and a relieved Walt follows her to a cafeteria. They get something to eat. When they are finished, Bea comes up with some more papers.

Bea: "Your next test is on logic. There are four men whose surnames are Johnson, Jensen, Jorgensen, and Johansson. Their first names are Walt, Wilt, Will, and Wally. Their middle names are Michael, Mickey, Mikhail, and Michelangelo. They each live in a house that is orange, blue, yellow, or purple. They each have a pet, either a cat, dog, bunny rabbit, or polar bear. From the clues on the next page, determine the full name for each man, and what color house and which pet they own."

Walt rolls his eyes. "This will keep me occupied the rest of the day."

* * *

Tom and Ethan blindfold Michael when they come to the sonic fence. After they pass through, Ethan resets the fence while Tom takes off the blindfold.

Tom: "Due to this island's funky electromagnetic properties that compass you got is off by forty-two degrees, so to go due south, you want to follow a heading of 138 degrees. To come back north, use 318 degrees."

Michael: "Okay, I got it."

Tom, Ethan, and Michael proceed on their long hike to the south.

* * *

After Claire enters the numbers and presses the "Execute" button, she has had enough time to make up her mind.

Claire: "Yes! I'll marry you!"

Charlie is shaking but manages to slip the frozen onion ring on Claire's finger. "You've made me the happiest man in the world." Charlie hugs and kisses Claire. The embrace lasts a full minute, until they run out of breath.

Claire: "This is so exciting! There are so many plans to make. And we have to set a date."

Charlie: "I haven't thought of a date yet."

Claire: "These things take time to plan everything right. It could take a couple of weeks."

Charlie: "That sounds good to me."

* * *

Back near Desmond's sailboat, Sawyer chops down a tree whose trunk is close to the same size as the broken original mast.

Kate: "That was very impressive."

Sawyer: "You're absolutely right."

Sayid meanwhile has sawn off several branches and cut them to size to patch some of the holes in the boat.

Shannon: "That's more impressive, getting everything to fit right."

Sayid: "I wouldn't argue with such an astute mind. These pieces do need to be glued into place."

Desmond: "I brought some glue from the hatch. It will have to set overnight."

Sayid and Desmond glue the planks into place.

Boone: "I need to do something useful."

Desmond: "You can hold these pieces in place for a few hours until the glue sets."

Boone: "Great!"

Boone sits down and leans against an edge of a row of planks.

Cindy: "That would work better if someone was at the other end of those boards."

Cindy sits down across from Boone and leans against the others ends of the planks.

Boone: "Thank you, that's very considerate of you."

Eko gets inspired by all the work around him.

Ana-Lucia: "I can tell you're thinking of something."

Eko: "Yes. I need to build a church for this island."

Hurley: "That's a good idea. It would make my mother happy."

Libby: "That will give us something to do if this boat doesn't get us off the island."

Jack: "I am a man of science, not of faith, but understand that this could be psychologically beneficial to some people."

Desmond: "I may be one of those. We've done about all we can for today. Tomorrow I'd like to take 'The Elizabeth' for a test drive."

Shannon: "Shouldn't that be a 'test sail'?"

While no one is noticing, Jin and Sun catch a lot of fish with the boat's fine fishing gear.

Jin: "I want to go on the test sail. I'm the most qualified after Desmond."

Sun: "Jin and I must not be separated. I'm going too."

Desmond: "Fine, but I think Libby should also have the opportunity since it used to be her boat."

Libby: "That sounds like a wonderful idea. Don't you agree, Hurley?"

Hurley: "Oh, yes, absolutely."

The group goes back to the Swan station with some tools, the damaged radio equipment, and the fish Jin and Sun caught.

* * *

After a long hike, Tom, Ethan, and Michael reach the blue line.

Tom: "We painted this blue line to warn your group to stay on the south side of this island. Of course you will have to cross this on your way back. This is the plan. Between one and two miles past this line, some of our people will be waiting to ambush you. We will shoot your colleagues with tranquilizer darts, but not you. They won't be hurt; only knocked out. We will get them back to our village. You will come back with us, get your son, and leave on the boat we're providing."

Ethan: "And if you mess up in any way, nothing is going to stop that pendulum from lowering tickling your boy. The way it's set up, there will be so little friction that it will probably keep on swinging for two or three more days." Ethan sneers maniacally.

Michael: "You don't have to sound so happy about the possibility."

Ethan: "It would be against my nature not to be."

Michael: "Are you sure those darts won't hurt anybody?"

Ethan: "It's getting pretty dark. Let's find out for sure."

Ethan shoots Michael in the stomach. Michael pulls the dart out, but the drug takes effect instantly. In four seconds he has passed out.

Tom: "It doesn't look like he's hurt."

Ethan and Tom tie Michael up, hands behind his back, and his feet together. Then Ethan ties a blindfold over Michael's eyes and gags him, and finally connects Michael's feet to a tree with another rope.

Tom: "Nice job."

Ethan: "Like father like son. That's how I tied his kid up the first night of the cops and robbers game.

Tom and Ethan make camp and settle in for the night.

* * *

It takes Walt four hours to solve the logic puzzle. He gets to eat dinner under the watchful eyes of Bea and Juliet, and then, with no opportunity to escape, lets Bea strap him to the table under the pendulum, which has descended about a quarter of a meter, with more than three meters to go.

* * *

Locke, Emma, and Zach return to the Swan Station after their day of training.

Locke: "That was very impressive. I think you'll be ready to rescue Walt after one more day of training."

Emma: "Thank you. But … where do we look?"

Locke: "You must be patient. The island will let you know."

Zach: "I hope it lets us know soon."

Then go inside, where Claire and Charlie are excited.

Locke: "What's going on?"

Charlie: "We're engaged!"

Locke: "Congratulations!"

Emma: "Hey, I got an idea for a wedding present. We got some material for Aaron's diapers."

Claire: "How thoughtful of you."

The remnants of Emma's and Zach's regular clothes are placed in a closet for Claire to cut and sew into diapers later.

Rose and Bernard, the backup pair sleeping in the bedroom, wake up to the commotion.

Bernard: "What's going on?"

Charlie: "Claire and I are engaged!"

Rose: "That's wonderful. I'm sure you'll be happy together."

The group from the sailboat comes back to the celebration, and learn the news.

Eko: "That's terrific. That's quite a coincidence; I was just thinking of building a church. I can marry you in there."

Shannon: "Funny how many coincidences we have here."


	43. Two for the Jungle Trail

A new day breaks. The group at the Swan determines who is on the button duty shifts.

Hurley: "According to our list, today it's Jack and Cindy, with Boone and Ana-Lucia as the back-up pair."

Ana-Lucia: "Can we trade partners?"

Boone: "I'm okay with that."

Cindy: "Okay by me."

Jack: "Do I have anything to say about this?"

Sawyer: "You already got outvoted three to one, Doctor Bellows."

Hurley: "But that might mess up our system, oh, just as long as least two people are always awake."

Libby: "That works out fine. Those of us who are going to Desmond's boat can go now."

Jack: "Libby, how are you feeling? Any …"

Libby: "No thoughts of aliens, thank you. I assure you I'm fine."

Jack: "You may be fine now, but watch out. We can't be positive how long Sun's cure will last."

Libby, Hurley, Desmond, Sun, and Jin leave to go to Desmond's sailboat and take it for a test ride.

Eko: "It's time to start building the church. Who's coming with me?"

Charlie: "I will. The sooner it gets built, the sooner Claire and I can get married."

Claire: "I'm well enough to do something useful. We'll just have to bring Aaron's cradle over to the construction site."

Charlie: "Where is the construction site?"

Eko: "I think it should be close to the beach, in the direction of this hatch."

Sawyer: "Sounds good, Father Mulcahy, but I'd like to be around to make sure it isn't too close to my stash. And I feel like getting some exercise."

Kate: "I'd like to watch. I mean help."

Shannon: "I want to do something useful. Are you coming, Sayid?"

Sayid: "I have to try to fix the radio from the boat, but I can do that later. May as well take advantage of a beautiful day."

Bernard: "I have an idea. Why don't we make a sign in the sand on the beach? We could trace out in large letters, "HELP" or "SOS," and fill them in with rocks?"

Rose: "That sounds like too much drudgery. And what is your hurry to leave? I think this island's been very good to my health."

Bernard: "But some people here must want to leave."

Rose: "Sure, but we've had signal files out on the beach many days and nights, and no rescue came. Your idea would just be a waste of time and energy."

Bernard: "So do you have any better suggestions?"

Rose: "You need to lighten up and chill for a while. Let's just go to the beach, and let the ocean waves soothe your nerves. You're getting too stressed about this rescue thing. The church will do you good."

Eko, Claire, Aaron, Charlie, Sawyer, Kate, Shannon, Sayid, Rose and Bernard go to the construction site and start building the church.

* * *

Locke takes Emma and Zach to a new location, northwest of the hatch.

Locke: "If you past this test then you are qualified to attempt to rescue Walt. I will walk back halfway to the hatch. You have to roam around the jungle all day without running into anyone else, especially me, so you can't take a direct line back. You must find your own food and water, and get out of any traps you blunder into."

Zach: "That sounds neat!"

Emma: "It would be, but that means I have to be alone in the jungle with Zach all day?"

Locke: "According to Desmond's vision, you were together, so that's how it has to be. Afterward, you can experience the true Aborigine walkabout and spend serious time by yourself. Then you establish the total connection with the island that you were meant to have."

Zach: "Cool!"

Emma: "I don't know if I want to be alone in the middle of the jungle."

Locke: "When the time comes you will know if it is meant to be. Now I must be going."

Locke heads back toward the Swan and then stops, making sure that Emma and Zach have a fair test.

* * *

Michael wakes up bound, gagged, and blindfolded. He rocks a little, alerting his captors to the fact that he has awaken. They untie him and remind him where he is.

Tom: "Don't forget. You release Ben, and bring back Shephard, Austin, Ford, and Reyes."

The effects of the tranquilizer drug have not completely worn off for Michael. "Which one was Ford again? And Austin was … we didn't use last names too much."

Ethan: "That's Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley."

Michael: "Oh, right."

Tom: "And it has to be exactly those four. If any are missing, or anyone else crosses the blue line, the deal is off."

Michael: "I got it."

They resume the hike toward the Swan.

* * *

Walt wakes up after a decent night's sleep. His eyes focus, and he determines the pendulum blade has descended about half a meter during the night. He takes a deep breath and sighs. _Looks like it's right on schedule._

Soon after Bea comes in. "Did you sleep well?"

Walt: "Okay. My chest itches a bit is all."

Bea: "Sorry. Let me fix that." Bea scratches Walt's chest until he feels fine.

Walt: "I could have reached that myself if you unstrapped me, but that was okay."

Bea: "So you want to be loose again today?"

Walt: "Of course. I let you tie me down here last night; that proves you can trust me."

Bea: "Or you could be plotting to gain my trust and escape when our guard is down."

Walt: "Would I do that?" Walt smiles sweetly.

Bea: "Hold that pose; I forgot to take your picture."

Bea leaves and returns with her camera to take the picture, and then undoes the buckles around Walt's wrists. Walt sits up and undoes the straps around his ankles, noting the pendulum is still well over his head. Then he and Bea go to the cafeteria for breakfast, including Dharpa brand corn flakes and orange juice.

Walt gets an idea. "Hey, you know what we've been missing? Why don't we have one today?" _I'll get a chance to escape if we go to somebody's house._

Bea: "You know that you're not allowed to leave this building. But that is a good idea. We haven't had a meeting in several days because of the trouble you caused, and we can have it here."

Walt is disappointed his plan is failing.

Bea calls up Juliet.

Bea: "Juliet, we thought we'd have a Book Club meeting over here. Gather up who you can and we'll meet at one."

Juliet: "Sounds good. That reminds me, I have to check up on something."

Juliet goes over to Ben's house, where Alex and Karl have been staying. She rings the doorbell, and Alex answers. Behind Alex, Juliet sees a big mess.

Juliet: "I have news for you. Ben should be coming back in a day or so, and … what happened here? It looks like the smoke monster invited all of his friends over for an indoor paintball war."

Alex: "Uh … there wasn't much point in cleaning this place every day. It would just get messy again."

Karl comes over. "Oh, hi Juliet. Yeah, there's no point in cleaning the house more than once."

Juliet: "Well, I'm giving you fair warning. And we're having a Book Club meeting today at one in the DeGroovy building."

Alex: "I've missed those meetings. But what book will we read if Daddy won't be there?"

Juliet: "It makes sense to read a book with a topic that he is more familiar with than the rest of us, so I think 'The Vermicelli Equation for Dummies' would be the perfect choice."

Karl: "Why is everyone looking at me?"

* * *

Around noon, Desmond, Hurley, Libby, Sun, and Jin reach the sailboat.

Desmond: "Everything looks fine; let's go for it."

They all get on board, and cast off. Desmond gives instructions so that the boat gets into the open water, and then turns right, or starboard for those who insist on nautical accuracy.

Jin casts a fishing line into the water. "This is called … trolling?"

Sun giggles. "I think the word is 'trawling', but what you said isn't bad."

* * *

At one o'clock, Alex and Karl arrive in Room 15 of the DeGroovy building, where Bea, Juliet, and Walt are waiting.

Walt: "Before we start, wouldn't you all like to get out of here? Come live with us at the other end of the island. Alex and Karl, you wouldn't have Ben hounding you all the time; Juliet, you'd get to meet more men, and Bea, you could be with me and my Dad all the time."

The Others exchange glances as if Walt has hit on something, but they are alert to the possibility that their conversation is being monitored.

Bea: "That isn't possible now, and I don't know if it ever will be."

Then Mikhail walks in. "Did I miss anything?"

Bea: "No, we were just starting."

They read "The Vermicelli Equation for Dummies" a page at a time. Several pages in,

Karl: "Professor Vermicelli thus proved that the doomsday equation is that the year of mankind's extinction is two thousand eighty-six minus one hundred times the common logarithm of the sum of the squares of the quantities a minus four, b minus eight, c minus fifteen, d minus sixteen, e minus twenty-three, and f minus forty-two."

Walt: "Since when does anyone use the word 'logarithm' in a story?"

Bea: "You may be due for another math test."

Karl continues: "Thus when the variable a, b, c, d, e, and f equal the core constants four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, and forty-two, respectively, the argument of the logarithm becomes zero, the logarithm tends to minus infinity, and subtracting a positive multiple of that from any constant produces infinity. Unfortunately, at the time of this writing the variables are all off by one, equaling three, nine, fourteen, seventeen, twenty-two, and forty-one, respectively. Thus if none of these is changed within the next few years, the world will cease to be inhabitable."

Ethan and Tom get to a point pretty close to the Swan station before letting Michael go, and make sure that Michael doesn't try to use the gun they provided on them. Then they go to the point where Ben set up the projection equipment.

Ethan: "What is this about?"

Tom: "Ben told he had an idea about scaring Shannon, and if we had the chance, to set something like this up. I can hide around here, and when she comes by, play the tape we got of Walt covered with slime. At to make it more effective, I'll play the videotape backwards."

Ethan: "You know what would really be cool? Get one of those projection things into Shannon and Sayid's tent."

Tom: "That's a good one. We'll have to try it."

* * *

The sailboat makes its way around the south side of the island, and its presence is detected by sensors in the Looking Glass. Greta and Bonnie get another scene. They radio the village.

Greta: "Hello? Is Ben there?"

Ben doesn't answer since he is still captive in the Swan Station.

Bonnie: "Try Juliet."

Greta: "Hello Juliet?"

Juliet: "Hello? What's up?"

Greta: "The Oceanics may be making another attempt to leave. Some of them are on a vessel, larger than that raft they tried."

Bonnie: "Considering the direction it's coming from, I think it has to be Desmond's sailboat. They must have repaired it. I don't know if our mechanical shark can stop it."

Juliet: "See what's it's up to. If it finds the right direction and tries to leave, I'm afraid we'll have to send in more force."

Greta: "You mean, the submarine?"

Juliet: "Yes. But for now just keep track of where it's going, and report when you find out for sure."

Due to the writers' lack of imagination, the boat makes a surprisingly uneventful trip to the original beach.

Libby: "That was a pleasant ride. Thank you for taking us."

Desmond: "My pleasure. I think I'll hang out around here for awhile."

Hurley: "Libby, this would be a good time for our picnic."

Libby: "That's what I thought. Surprise, we brought the food and utensils onboard in our pack."

Hurley: "We?"

Libby: "There wasn't enough room in one pack, so I got Sun and Jin to help."

Jin: "We haven't had enough to do lately."

Sun: "It's so heartwarming well to help out such a charming young couple."

Jin: "We're not that old."

Hurley: "Wow Libby, you're amazing. You thought of everything."

Libby: "Thank you. Let's set it up ... oh drat, I forgot the blankets. I'll get a couple from the hatch."

Hurley: "Shall I come with you?"

Libby: "That's sweet, but why don't you set everything else up? I'll be back soon."

Desmond: "We must be at the point where we suddenly realize there's a shorter path between this beach and the hatch."

Hurley: "Okay."

Libby heads toward the hatch alone. A strange feeling comes over her, as if there is a change in her mental state.

* * *

Michael staggers into the Swan Station. He decides it is best to feign shock for a while so he can find out the circumstances of Ben's captivity. Michael stashes his pack on a shelf, and comes downstairs. Jack and Ana-Lucia are present.

Jack: "Michael! What happened to you? Did you find out anything about Walt?"

Michael keeps his eyes glazed. "Waaaalllllt."

Jack: "What about Walt? Did you see him?"

Michael: "Waaaalllllt."

Ana-Lucia: "Stop asking him questions I don't want to hear that line any more."

Jack: "I don't either. I'd say he's in shock. We can find out more later. By the way, you haven't met. Ana-Lucia, this is Michael."

Ana-Lucia: "I figured that out."

Jack: "Michael, this is Ana-Lucia. She is one of several survivors from the tail-section. They saw Walt, but one of those Others took him away."

Michael opens his mouth, but before he can speak the line everyone knows he will, Jack interrupts.

Jack: "Don't say anything. Just sit down here and rest until your body recovers. Drink some water."

Jack goes to get some water for Michael, and then goes to the computer room with plenty of time to spare before the numbers need to be entered. Michael stares blankly at the wall.

Ana-Lucia remembers that Henry Gale hasn't been fed in a while, so she gets up, goes to the pantry, gets some Dharpa bread and bottled water, takes it to the locked room, opens the door, shoves the food inside, and closes the door again. Michael figures out who the prisoner has to be, and goes into action. He finishes his water, ambles slowly to the pantry to put the bottle away, retrieves his pack, and pulls out the medallion and the gun. He stuffs the gun in his back pocket and returns to the room where Ana-Lucia is.

Ana-Lucia: "You feeling better Mike? But if you're going to say the same word again, don't say anything."

Michael silently pulls out the medallion and swings it in front of Ana-Lucia. "Look at this medallion and I won't say 'Walt' again."

Ana-Lucia: _That has to be worth it. _"Okay. What's so special about it?"

Michael: "Just look at it. See how it sparkles? It makes you want to relax."

Ana-Lucia: "Relax …?"

Michael: "You are getting sleepy. If you fall asleep, you won't have to hear me say 'Waaaallllt' any more. Jack and I can take care of the numbers."

Ana-Lucia: _That's a good deal._ "Zzzzzzzz." Ana-Lucia snores quietly. Michael quickly and quietly gets up and unlocks the door to the small room in which Ben is captive.

Michael: "Are you Ben, or Henry, or something?"

Ben: "That's me. You must be Michael."

Michael: "How do you know that?"

Ben: "I know everything there is to know about all of you. Now since you're here, you must be fulfilling your part of the deal."

Michael: "That was your doing? Anyway, I'm supposed to free you, and then bring Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley to your village. Then you're going to let Walt and me leave on a boat."

Ben: "I wish you wouldn't leave, but a deal's a deal. Are you sure you can get me out of here?"

Michael: "Use the other entrance. The one with a ladder than John and Boone couldn't open. Then when I get the chance I'll take out some ventilation grills so that when they find out you're gone, I can suggest you sneaked out through the vents."

Ben: "Good thinking. Let's go."

Michael and Ben go to the end of the hatch where the ladder attached to the side of the shaft leading up is. Since it is broken in the middle, Michael finds and props up a regular ladder, which is long enough. Ben climbs up, unlocks the door while scoffing at the word "Quarantine" written on it, and opens it and gets out. He looks around, sees no one, and makes his getaway.

Michael climbs the ladder, re-locks the hatch door to destroy the evidence, puts the regular ladder back, unscrews the hinges on a couple of vents, puts the medallion back in his pack and stashes it, and goes back to Ana-Lucia.

Michael: "Ana-Lucia, when you wake up, you will remember nothing about that medallion and being hypnotized. When asked, you will say that you fed Henry and he can be left alone another day. I have just been sitting here and nothing happened."

Ana-Lucia murmurs "Nothing happened."

* * *

Libby gets to the usual Swan Station entrance and comes down. She sees Jack.

Libby: "Hi Jack. The boat ride went well. I'm here to get some blankets for a picnic with Hurley."

Jack: "Great. There should be some in that main room."

Libby: "Good."

Libby walks away, and Jack remembers, "Oh, there's someone who you haven't met down there."

Libby is into the main room before Jack finished his sentence. She sees Michael standing next to an unconscious Ana-Lucia, and screams.

Libby: "AAAAAAACKKKK! The alien is back and he's grown up and killed Ana-Lucia!"

The screaming wakes up Boone and Cindy, the backup button-pushing duty shift, in the bedroom. They run out as Jack rushes over to Ana-Lucia and checks her pulse.

Jack: "She has a pulse. She's not dead." Jack shakes her, and Ana-Lucia slowly wakes up.

Libby: "What did you do to her, you alien!"

Ana-Lucia: "What happened?"

Jack: "Libby, this is Michael, Walt's father. He was on the plane with us and he is not an alien. He has been missing for several days looking for his son."

Libby: "If his son is an alien, then so is he!"

Boone: "Michael's been with us since the crash. I can vouch for him."

Cindy: "I remember him from the plane. This was the man sitting next to Walt on it. They are two different people."

Jack: "No one here is an alien. Libby, come here and take that medicine Sun made for you.."

Libby: "Not until this Michael person explains himself."

Jack: "Yes Michael, how come Ana-Lucia is sleeping on her shift?"

Michael has to come up with a convincing story on the spot. "I was feeling better, well enough to talk, and I was telling her my life story. From the way she was reacting, I think she fell asleep due to extreme boredom."

Jack: "That sounds perfectly reasonable to me."

Boone: "Me too."

Libby hesitantly takes the medicine.

Jack: "Go on, and have your picnic with Hurley."

Libby does, and soon feels better. She gets the blankets and goes back to the beach for the picnic with Hurley.

Hurley: "There you are. Are you okay? You look a little different."

Libby: "I'm okay now. I thought I saw an alien, but it was only Michael."

Hurley: "Michael's back? Any news of Walt?"

Libby: "Yes, and no."

Hurley: "Well, let's forget about them for awhile and enjoy some time to ourselves. We deserve this."

Libby: "Yes we do."

Hurley and Libby have an enjoyable picnic.

* * *

Back at the hatch, Jack insists on giving a checkup to Michael.

Jack: "You seem to be in good shape physically, but there's something on your mind. Can you tell me what happened to you?"

Michael: "I was searching all over for several days, and … I know how to get Walt back."

Jack: "That's great. How?"

Michael: "You're involved. But I'd like to tell everyone I need at once so I don't have to repeat it."

Jack: "That's sensible."

Michael: "So why don't you tell me everything that went on while I was away? It will help me recover faster."

Jack: "Of course."

Jack tells Michael everything he knows about the tail-end group and how they met Walt. Michael pretends not to have met Walt at Othersville, but is glad to hear that the part of the story that Walt managed to blurt out jives with what Jack is saying.

Michael: "So Walt escaped once, and these Tailies found him hopping around handcuffed, tied up, gagged, and with 'Bad Boy' painted on his front and that goofy symbol on his back. I can see why they thought he might have been an extraterrestrial alien."

* * *

Near sunset, a rain shower looms, sending everyone back to the Swan Station. Emma and Zach successfully make their way back, avoiding Locke, who is very proud of them. After they all eat, Michael makes his speech.

Michael: "I know how to get Walt back. I need help from four of you. First, Jack. There is a good chance Walt needs medical attention."

Jack: "Then I have to go. It is my sacred oath."

Michael: "Good. Next, Sawyer, I'd like you to come with."

Sawyer: "Why me, Ponce de Leon?"

Michael: "Because you'd like to get revenge on those guys you saw at the blue line."

Sawyer: "I live for revenge, Montezuma. Count me in."

Michael: "Then we should have Kate. I don't want to be one of those guys that says women shouldn't be allowed. And besides, If Jack and Sawyer are going somewhere, Kate is usually interested in following."

Kate: "Ummm, I'll go, but it's to save Walt." _I wonder if anyone will believe that._

Michael: "Thank you. And last, it should be Hurley."

Hurley: "Why me? I'm not so good at that kind of thing."

Michael: "Because you're one of his best friends. It was you who played backgammon with all those days when he was buried up to his neck or armpits in the sand."

Sayid: "I am the logical choice. I have lots of experience in search and rescue."

Michael: "We need someone like here in case there's a counterattack or something."

Sayid: "John is also Walt's friend."

Locke: "If it were destined for me to be on this trip, the island would have told Michael so."

Hurley: "Can I think about this?"

Michael: "We'll leave first thing in the morning. I guess you can think about it until then."

Locke, Emma, and Zach go off to another room.

Locke: "Do you understand what you have to do?"

Emma: "Yes. We'll follow those guys, and it will be us who saves Walt."

Zach: "Emma is right for a change."

Locke: "Now you have to be careful, but I know you can manage. Stay off to the side and behind Michael's group. They're bound to fail somehow. Keep quiet, and don't let anyone see or hear you. If anyone notices you're missing, I'll tell them you're on another training run. Now get some rest; I'm sure you'll need it."


	44. To Betray or Not To Betray

While there is still enough light, Ben heads toward the area near the net trap he had stepped into several days before, and finds his pack of supplies hidden suspended in a tree. The rain shower doesn't last long and ends. He gets out a flashlight and a walkie-talkie.

Ben: "Hello, anybody there?"

Ethan answers: "Good to hear from you. We're where you left that projection equipment."

Ben: "That's close by, I'll see you in a few minutes."

Ben gets there in a few minutes.

Ben: "What's going on?'

Ethan: "We got some film of Walt dripping with slime and wanted to scare someone."

Ben bounces up and down. "Oh goody, I'm overdue for some fun."

* * *

After dinner, Shannon is thinking of how happy Claire and Charlie, and Libby and Hurley seem. She comes up with an idea.

Shannon: "Sayid, why don't we go for a moonlight stroll?"

Sayid: "That sounds wonderful."

Shannon and Sayid go out and walk in the twilight. They wander near where Ben, Ethan, and Tom are hiding. They embrace and kiss each other just as Tom turns on the projector, so they don't see anything.

Vincent comes out of nowhere, sees the image of Walt, and chases it. Vincent barks, causing Shannon to look over Sayid's shoulder. Shannon gets a glimpse of the slime-covered boy, and then Tom turns off the projector as Vincent barks. When Walt disappears, Vincent gets confused and runs away.

Shannon: "Sayid! Walt was there!"

Sayid turns around. "No one's there this time. You must be imagining things. You associated Vincent's barking with Walt."

Shannon: ''No, I'm sure I saw him. He may need help. Help me look for him."

Sayid sighs. "All right, we can look for a minute."

Shannon and Sayid walk around.

Shannon: "Walt?"

When they are separated, Tom aims the projector in front of Shannon, and turns it on. Shannon gasps.

Image of Walt: ".dab si nottub ehT .nottub eht hsup t'noD .nottub eht hsuP."

The image appears to move away and then disappears.

Shannon: "Sayid! Walt's over here!"

Shannon chases after where she Walt go. Sayid turns around, does not see the image, and runs after Shannon.

Sayid: "Watch it, Shannon, you must be careful running in the dark."

Sayid almost catches up to Shannon, when Shannon's foot sticks in the net Ben had been trapped in, which is still lying on the ground. She stumbles, and falls into a branch pointing at her chest. She twists away just in time to avoid injury, but the branch yanks off her bikini top. Flailing, she grabs Sayid's arm and pulls him down with her. They roll down a small hill, getting entangled in the net with their bodies pressed together.

Shannon: "I guess we can get out of this by rolling in the other direction."

Sayid: "I guess we could."

They lay there in silence.

Shannon: "I can't go back like this. I lost my top."

Sayid: "I know. And it would be hard to find it in the dark."

Shannon: "If we stay here all night; we won't contribute to overcrowding in the hatch."

Sayid: "And if that really was Walt, he knows his way around here better than anybody else."

Shannon and Sayid snuggle and settle in for the night.

* * *

A short distance away, Ben, Ethan, and Tom are laughing.

Ben: "Well, that was entertaining. I got to get back to our village. You two make sure Michael and company do what they're supposed to."

Tom and Ethan pack up the projection equipment as Ben heads north. He calls to see if anyone is at the village.

Ben: "Hello?"

Juliet: "Ben! Good to hear from you. What's going on?"

Ben: "Michael released me, and is fulfilling his part of the bargain. How are things there?"

Juliet: "You mean Jack and Sawyer are finally coming here?"

Ben: "It looks that way, but you can never be sure. Is Bea there? What's going on over there?"

Bea: "Everything is under control. Walt is in good shape, and he's been taking more tests and we read "The Vermicelli Equation for Dummies."

Ben: "You let him know about that?"

Bea: "Actually Ethan gave it away, but it's seems all right. We have some data we need you to look at."

Ben: "Good. I think I'll make it to the Pearl tonight, and get to the village tomorrow."

Bea: "Okay, good night."

Bea goes over to Walt, who has just finished dinner and washing up.

Bea: "Good news. Your father is living up to his end of the bargain. I trust you will too?"

Walt hasn't had a chance to escape, but comes up with an idea. "Of course. I'm a man of my word."

Walt obediently goes to Room 23, and sees that the pendulum is now less than two meters from the table. He hops up, lies face down, and stretches out. "Can I sleep face down tonight? It would be something different, and I wouldn't have to look at that pendulum blade."

Bea is suspicious, but goes along with it. She straps Walt in securely, and starts rubbing his back. Walt strains and twists his wrists, but finds he can't reach the buckles. His latest escape plan isn't going to work. Bea notices Walt trying.

Bea: "Are you trying to do something?"

Walt: "I thought maybe I could scrape the buckles against the table and open them or something."

Bea: "Didn't you promise you wouldn't try to escape?"

Walt: "Actually, I only promised I'd let you tie me down here. And at least I got a back rub out of this."

Bea regards Walt, and then slaps him playfully on the butt. "Good night."

* * *

Ben makes it to the Pearl late at night. He enters, eats some of the food stashed there, and turns on the surveillance equipment. He sees that activity is going on like normal in the Pearl, and then falls asleep on a couch. He oversleeps.

* * *

When dawn comes, Shannon and Sayid wake up. They untangle themselves from the net, and find Shannon's pink bikini top, which stands out easily against the greenery of the jungle. They go back to the Swan Station. Sayid pulls Jack and Hurley to the side.

Sayid: "I've been thinking. Michael was acting very suspiciously last night. I think he might have been compromised."

Jack: "Are you sure? Michael always acts a little strange."

Sayid: "The way he wanted specific people for this rescue mission – it doesn't make sense. There must be some ulterior motive."

Hurley: "What do you think we should do?"

Sayid: "You should go along with Michael, and act is if we don't suspect anything. Some of us should take the sailboat up the coast, parallel to your group."

Jack: "Meaning including you, of course."

Sayid: "Of course. We'll keep tabs on you from the side, and if something's up, we'll have the element of surprise."

Jack: "Sounds like a plan."

Hurley: "Okay."

A short time later Michael comes by. Locke approaches stealthily from behind.

Michael: "Hey Hurley, you with us?"

Hurley: "Sure, dude. It would only be right to help Walt."

Michael: "Good. We'll leave now."

Hurley, Jack, Sawyer, and Kate get backpacks and load them with food and the few working weapons from the locker. They join Michael.

Michael: "We're going just about due north. It takes about a day and a half."

Everybody else wishes them luck.

They leave, and Locke finds Emma and Zach.

Locke: "Did you hear that? Now you have to follow them, but stay off to the side so they don't see or hear you., but try to hear what they have to say."

Emma: "Yes, we got it."

Zach: "This is going to be fun."

Locke: "Don't get carried away. Now off you go."

Locke announces to those who are left: "We're just going to do a little more training. We might be gone all day."

Locke, Emma, and Zach leave.

Sayid: "I discussed with Jack that Michael has been acting very suspiciously, and that some of us should go on the sailboat parallel to them in case something is up. We have a set of signals arranged. Of course I'm going, but who else wants to come along?"

Shannon: "I will."

Desmond: "I'm the one who best knows how to sail it. But whose turn is it to push the button?"

Claire: "Charlie and I haven't had a turn for a while."

Charlie: "I think Claire's right. It's settled then."

Libby: "I want to come. I don't want to be too far from Hurley."

Boone: "I need to get in on some action. I'd like to come."

Cindy: "Then can I go also?"

Sayid: "I think that's enough."

Eko: "This means that there won't be many left to work on my church."

Ana-Lucia: "So it won't be finished today. But I'll be there for you."

Sun: "It will be a nice change of pace for us. And Jin looks good at chopping down trees … I mean, is good at chopping down trees."

Jin: "Everybody knows you meant what you said the first time, but you're right."

Bernard: "Did you forget about Rose and me?"

No one wants to answer.

Rose: "Don't worry about it, I was ignored for a long time. We'd be delighted to help with the church."

Eko, Ana-Lucia, Sun, Jin, Rose, and Bernard head off to the site of the church and resume its construction.

* * *

Ethan and Tom report to Bea and Juliet via walkie-talkie that Michael's group is under way and everything is going as planned.

* * *

In the morning, Bea undoes the straps binding Walt to the table after another brief back rub. Walt sees that the pendulum blade is about a meter and a half above him. They go to the cafeteria to meet Juliet.

Walt: "So what are we going to do today?"

Juliet: "The big thing is when Ben returns. I'm sure he'll want to talk with you. In the meantime after breakfast we can play backgammon. You're due for a break today since tomorrow may be … "

Bea: "… very interesting."

* * *

Michael, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley hike most of the day. They get close to the blue line demarcating the Others' territory, when Michael suddenly falls to his knees, put his face in his hands, and cries.

Jack: "What's wrong, Michael?"

Michael: "I can't do it. It's a trap."

Kate: "What are you talking about?"

Michael: "I made a deal with those people to get Walt back. Release that guy in the hatch and bring you four to their village. In a mile or two past that blue line they're waiting to ambush us. You've been too good to me – I can't let that happen to you. And Walt didn't want me to at first. But when we saw what they were going to do …" Michael sobs and has to pause.

Jack is concerned. "You saw Walt? You know what they are going to do to him?"

Michael breaks down completely. "Yes, they had him tied down on a table, all stretched out, like on a rack. He was still wearing only that little loincloth of his. And over him they had this pendulum thing with a feather duster attached to the blade, and it's going to swing lower and lower until sometime tomorrow afternoon when it will just graze his stomach and tickle him. And there will be nothing to stop it when I don't show up with you all." Michael bawls louder.

Sawyer frowns. "So Benedict Arnold, you mean to say that you were going to betray us all just to keep that kid of yours from being tickled?"

Michael sobs some more. "Yes. The sight of him spread-eagled like that, and squirming and straining so hard to get loose when he had no chance, got to me."

Michael pauses to catch his breath. "I can't believe I might have used this." Michael takes out the gun he was hiding in his pack and hands it to Sawyer.

Sawyer: "Mickey D, this is a water pistol."

Sawyer squirts Michael.

Jack: "I guess they thought you were too unstable to handle a real gun."

Michael: "Guess they got that right. I don't know how I managed to hypnotize Ana-Lucia."

Kate pats Michael on the shoulder. "Don't be too hard on yourself; I can see how that might be upsetting to a parent."

Sawyer: "Yeah, but you know Walt-Mart can handle stuff like that."

Hurley coughs. "Yes, Walt came out fine after I had to tickle him to give him the strength to get loose from that tree."

Jack: "Parents have been known to go to great lengths to protect their children."

Michael: "Sure, but they don't have to betray people who trust them."

Jack: "But you didn't betray us. You only thought about it, but stopped before actually doing it. Parenting is tough, but I have to say I think you're the best parent here on this island."

Kate: "Michael's the only parent on the island."

Sawyer coughs. "There could be some doubt about that."

Michael stops sniffling and feels better. "Thanks guys. Walt tried to be brave. Before they strapped him under that pendulum he made me promise not to betray anyone to win his release, even if he said he changed his mind if they did something dastardly. So I guess I'm doing the right thing now. But I'm afraid he'll think I'm abandoning him."

Kate: "He may think that at first, but he'll appreciate you more in the long run this way."

Jack: "What did you find out about these people?"

Michael: "They have a regular community out there. They pretend to live primitively, but Walt got to tell me that's fake. They have a book club, and Walt got to be in some of those. They have cages they use as jail cells. They have computers, and I think they know all about us. They have lots of weapons and some kind of sonic security fence going all the way around their village. Someone had to turn it off when they brought me there and back. I'm afraid to think of what might happen if you tried to cross it while it was activated."

Sawyer: "What people did you meet?"

Michael: "Ethan was there, and some guy named Tom, had a beard that looked fake. Those two were pals, and acted alike. There was this young woman Juliet, who kept asking me about what you guys were like. I got the impression she was not satisfied with the men in that village, and based on what I saw I can't blame her. Then there's this Bea. She spent some time with Walt, and … I think she digs me. Actually, she couldn't keep her hands off me a lot of the time."

Kate: "Mike, you romantic devil, you."

Jack: "Did you find out why they took Walt?"

Michael: "They're giving him a lot of tests. They claim he has some kind of power that will benefit mankind, even though he looked totally helpless tied down on that table. He did say something … any of you heard of the Vermicelli Equation?"

The other four shake their heads.

Hurley: "Equations sound like something that Sayid might know."

Jack: "With my education I should have heard of that if it's a real thing."

Sawyer: "Did you find out why they wanted us four?"

Michael: "No. I don't think Walt knew either."

Kate: "Does anyone care that Michael let Henry go?"

Michael: "His real name is Ben Linus."

Jack: "Keeping that guy was a waste of time. All he did was consume our food and not tell us anything. We got a lot more information from Michael now than we were ever going to get from Henry … er, Ben."

Kate: "So what do we do now?"

Jack: "We need to make a plan."

Michael: "I should go on alone and face the consequences."

Kate: "But you might blab that we're onto them and that we're making a plan."

Sawyer: "We might not be trusting you for awhile. Better stick with us."

Hurley: "It won't do any good for you to get yourself captured again. We'll need everyone we can get."

Sawyer: "Why do we need to do anything? If Mini-Houdini escaped once, he might be able to do it again. And we know he can survive being tickled. Besides, Father Knows Best says they're well-armed and have all this security stuff. Sounds like we wouldn't have a chance."

Jack: "You're right; we need time to think this through. Time to let Sayid know what's going on."

Jack fires a rifle four times.

Michael: "What was that all about?"

Jack: "We didn't trust you, so a bunch of people are on Desmond's sailboat sailing up the coast to our side. That was the signal that the mission is over. We can cut across and get a boat ride back home."

Michael: "Your mistrust in me was well-placed."

The group turns left, to the west, and goes to the coast.

* * *

Emma and Zach hear most of the conversation.

Emma: "John was right. Michael's group isn't going to help Walt, so it's up to us to save him."

Zach: "I got it. So I guess we keep going in the same direction?"

Emma: "Yes. We have to stay far enough to one side so we don't run into the ambush."

Zach: "That makes sense. But what about that sonic fence thing they were talking about?"

Emma: "We really can't tell until we get there. Things have a way of working out. We should figure out something when we get there."

Emma and Zach continue northward after going east a ways to avoid the ambush ahead. Their bodies tingle when they cross the blue line.

* * *

The scene shifts to Desmond's sailboat.

Boone: "What was that signal again?"

Sayid: "That's the signal that the mission is over. For someone reason Michael didn't go through with it. That group is headed our way now, so we'll get close to the shore and wait for them."

Boone: "So there isn't going to be any action?"

Sayid: "Well, not for us right now. We have to see what Jack and company have to say."

Libby: "Hey, this means I'll see Hurley sooner than expected. I'm fine with that."

Michael, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley reach the coast, and have to wade and swim to get to "The Elizabeth," which can't get too close to the shore.


	45. The Great Manipulator

On board The Elizabeth, notes are compared.

Sayid: "What's the story?"

Jack: "You were right; Michael was compromised. Those Others got Walt tied down under a lowering pendulum with a feather duster attached, and Michael was going to betray us to keep his son from being tickled. Michael let that guy Henry, whose real name is Ben, escape by hypnotizing Ana-Lucia, but fortunately he had a change of heart, so none of us are going to be captured now."

Sayid: "What a fascinating method of coercion. We never tried that while I was in the Iraqi National Guard."

Boone: "How do you know those people were going to keep their word? Ethan lied to us a lot of the time, and Henry – oh, I guess Ben now, he lied about his name as well – pretty much only told us lies."

Shannon: "That guy did tell us the truth when he said he wasn't going to tell us anything."

Michael: "Thank you Shannon. I was sure they wouldn't let Walt go if I didn't do what they asked. I guess my gut instinct told me they would keep their end of the bargain."

Kate: "Is this the same gut instinct that told you it was okay to let Ethan handcuff Walt and take him away?"

Michael frowns: "Hey we all trusted Ethan."

Shannon: "Charlie didn't."

Michael: "Except Charlie. And everyone was happy to have Walt away for a few days."

Sawyer: "Actually things have been going very well with Firestarter away. Would it be so bad if he stayed away until we're sure we can get off this rock?"

Michael: "He's my son. I have the right to be there for him. And I'm sure he's cured of any behavior problems."

Cindy: "Why didn't you go there alone just now?"

Michael: "These guys think it's better that I don't go back there and blab to them that I've told you what I learned about them. They're probably right; I almost betrayed them, and if there's a next time I might do something worse."

Jack: "We're sure that's the right choice. Thanks to Michael and John, Walt is very tough, and I'm sure he'll come through just fine."

Michael: "I sure hope so. I still feel bad about letting him get tickled indefinitely."

Desmond: "Don't worry about it. Your son will be fine. In my vision he was walking along outside somewhere with Emma and Zach."

Michael: "Are you sure your visions are always right? And why didn't you tell me before?"

Desmond: "I don't know of any cases where my visions did not eventually come true. And I'm pretty sure John wanted this a secret, like he wanted to test you. Emma and Zach are well on their way, and it's too late to stop them."

Jack: "Oh, then congratulations on passing the test. Hey isn't someone missing? Where's Hurley?"

Hurley and Libby have been smooching inside the cabin.

Hurley: "Hey dudes, sounds like everything's under control."

Libby: "Yes, carry on. Don't mind us."

Libby: "In that case, let's party!"

Desmond: "How fortuitous. I've got a case of Scotch hidden in a compartment underneath the dashboard. This seems to be as good a time as any to break it out."

Sawyer slaps Desmond on the shoulder. "Now that's my kind of thinking! We owe all the Flying Scotsman one."

Sayid: "I believe that's the Flying Dutchman. There was also a Flyinn Finn, not to mention flying fish, flying squirrels, and flying buttresses."

Sawyer: "Do you want me to hit you?"

Sayid: "My mistake. It is the Flying Scotsman."

They all party into the night and get blasted after Desmond turns the boat around to go back to the beach. Pretty soon everyone passes out. The last one standing is Shannon.

Shannon: "I guess we should have picked a designated driver."

She falls asleep in Sayid's arms.

* * *

The crew building the church gets some work done, and it is about half finished when the sun sets. They go back to the Swan Station, arriving at about the same time as Locke, who has been wandering around all day, relishing the island experience and proud that he has trained two more children in the ways of the island.

* * *

It gets dark while Emma and Zach are still in the jungle. They calmly find a banyan grove to sleep within several closely packed trunks after eating some papayas they found thanks to their training.

* * *

After an unusually pleasant day of playing games, mostly backgammon where Walt won the large majority of the games against Bea and Juliet, it is time to go back to Room 23. Walt reasons that if he resists now he won't be unstrapped the next morning, and if Michael hasn't shown up by then Walt will make a break for it during the day. He hops up obediently on the table on his back, stretches out, and lets Bea strap him down. After she leaves Walt strains on the straps, but as always they have been fastened too securely. He falls asleep noting the pendulum blade with the feather duster is swinging about a meter over him.

* * *

Ben gets to the security fence as the sun sets. He punches in the code, and then makes his way to his house, where Alex and Karl have just finished cleaning up.

Alex: "Oh Daddy, it's so good to see you again!"

Ben: is suspicious. "What went on here? What did you and Karl do?"

Alex: "Karl kept me company so I wouldn't have to be alone in this spooky old house. We just talked, and played games like cards and Monopoly, good clean innocent fun."

Ben: "This house isn't spooky or that old. And I sense that you are lying to me."

Karl: "Hey don't you want Alex to follow in your footsteps? You're the most skilled in the deceptive arts around."

Alex: "Deceptive arts? Oh yes, that's a useful thing to be good in, and I want to be as good as you, Daddy."

Ben is flummoxed. After a awkward pause, "Karl, just go home. We don't need you here any more now."

Karl: "Whatever. See you later, Alex."

Alex: "Good-bye, Karl."

Karl leaves.

Ben: "I need something to eat, and then I've got a big day tomorrow."

Alex: "When do you have small days?"

Ben: "Being locked in a small room and out of communication qualifies as several small days."

Alex: "When am I going to get a big day?"

Ben: "I'm sure you'll get one; everybody around here does eventually."

Alex makes dinner for herself and Ben, and then they retire for the night.

* * *

In the morning, Bea unstraps Walt and takes him to the cafeteria for another breakfast with her and Juliet. After the meal, they take him back to Room 23.

Walt: "Remember, you said I don't have to be put on the rack again until there's four minutes ago."

Juliet: "Of course we do. I hope your father is here before then." _And brings Jack and Sawyer._

Bea: "Ben will see you in a little while. Until then, why don't you play solitaire? See if you're lucky in that as well."

Bea gives Walt a deck of cards with the Dharpa logo on the back. Walt starts playing, and Bea and Juliet go to Room 8 for their meeting with Ben. This is the room with the computers, including the one Walt used to communicate with Michael.

Ben arrives: "So let's see the data."

Juliet: "Here it is. It certainly looks like the first two numbers have been changed to the correct values."

Ben studies the graphs on several printouts. "Actually, I'd say the first three numbers were changed. This is very good news. The second and third were close together, so it was hard to tell. Now this first change occurred on the tenth day after the plane crash."

Juliet: "Yes. I determined that was the day Vincent ran off with Walt's clothes and John Locke tied Walt to a tree and he was left there for several hours."

Ben: "As we suspected. Now this second number – there's a blip here the fourth day he was with us, and a jump to the next whole number later. Were there two stressful incidents the same day?"

Bea: "It had to be the day he escaped. In the morning I painted 'BAD BOY' on him while he was tied to the basketball pole, and he struggled to get loose before it dried. Then late that day was when Ethan caught up with him after the escape, tied him up, and the orange smoke came."

Ben: "That makes perfect sense. But according to this the third number was changed two days later. What could have accounted for that?"

Juliet: "He was with the tail section group then, so Goodwin might know."

Ben orders Goodwin to show up in the DeGroovy Building. Goodwin arrives quickly.

Ben: "Good to see you again. How have you been?"

Goodwin: "I've been ignored for quite some time. It's good to get back in the spotlight again."

Ben: "I know what you mean. I was ignored a lot while I was in that locked room in the Swan. Now it looks like three of the Vermicelli Equation numbers have been changed already, and that the third number changed two days after you encountered Walt. Did anything particularly stressful happen that day?"

Goodwin: "Let's see, he spent the whole time in handcuffs, but he seemed used to it. We questioned him, Libby was sure he was an alien, he had to sleep in the pit … The third day … I got it! That was when we were going to leave, and he stepped in a rope trap that left him suspended by his ankles. We accused him of trying to capture us, and he wouldn't answer our questions, so we just left him hanging there for quite some time. When we came back, he started talking, but eventually got so upset that a flock of birds charged him, and there was a tremendous storm. The rest of us headed back to shelter in the Arrow, while Walt was left hanging all night."

Ben: "That clinches it. All this cannot be a coincidence. The common theme is that Walt is tied up or restrained in some manner for an extended length of time, and then gets very mad." Ben faces Bea. "Some of the things you did didn't make him mad enough."

Bea: "Being tickled by that pendulum device should do it."

Juliet: "But we made a deal. If Michael gets here with Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley, we have to let Walt and Michael go."

Ben: "If that's what they still want, so be it. But I'm going to try to convince them to change the last three numbers before they go."

* * *

Ben rolls into Room 23 in a wheelchair, where Walt is seated next to the table that serves as a rack.

Ben: "Good morning Walt. How are you?"

Walt: "Okay for now. But it's been a bummer having to sleep under that thing."

Ben: "That was unnecessary. They could have just kept you locked in a room at night. I'll make sure that doesn't happen to you again."

Walt: "Really? Thank you. So … what happened to you?"

Ben: "I have a tumor in my back and need surgery. That's why I wanted your rather to bring Jack Shephard here."

Walt: "Why didn't you just ask him? He's such a do-gooder he would have done it willingly without all this kidnapping stuff."

Ben: "That's not the way I operate. I manipulate people so that they believe they're making the decisions I want them to when normally they wouldn't."

Walt: "What do you mean by that?"

Ben: "Well, an example in your case would be for you to strap yourself onto that rack."

Walt: "I'm never going to do that! And if you're not going to get your goons to force me on that, then I'm done with that thing."

Ben: "Certainly. You've definitely suffered enough. It's only fair that someone else change the variables of the Vermicelli Equation."

Walt: "Yes, that's fair. So … how does that equation work?"

Ben: "When a certain very special person is subjected to a great deal of stress, the numbers can be changed. We've been searching for years, and you're the first person who's demonstrated this ability. Look at this data."

Ben shows Walt several graphs.

Ben: "See this jump in this graph here? This occurred late on the tenth day you were here. That was the day your friend John Locke tied you to a tree and left you there for hours."

Walt: "Actually all kinds of people left me tied to that tree. There kept coming up reasons why they couldn't untie me."

Ben: "That may have been very fortunate. This jump in the graph corresponds to when you were being tickled by Hurley. That incident changed the first number from three to four, and as a result the date of Doomsday was postponed from 2008 to 2016."

Walt: "I really caused that?"

Ben: "That's what we believe. We do have more evidence. This part of the graph is from the day you escaped from here. There's a small jump in the morning, which we figured happened when Bea painted 'Bad Boy' on you. That wasn't enough to change the second number from nine to eight, but combined with another incident late in the day was enough to do it."

Walt: "Late in that day? That's when Ethan caught me and tied me up extremely tight, and the orange smoke came."

Ben: "Precisely. That advanced the date of Doomsday to 2026."

Walt: "That sounds cool. Juliet and Bea said they thought I changed two of those numbers."

Ben: "Actually, you have changed three. Two days after that, as you can see here, the third number changed from fourteen to fifteen. We determined this occurred when you were hanging upside down from a rope trap, and got very upset over some questioning."

Walt: "Yeah, those tail-end people kept accusing me of being an alien, and Eko pointed out how much a sinner I was, and I lost it. Those birds flew over me, and there was a big storm."

Ben: "Yes. All these can't be just coincidences. The common theme is that you were restrained for an extended period of time, and then became quite angry over something. Doomsday was extended until 2038. We appreciate your participation in this, and your part is done for now."

Walt: "Uh, thank you. I'm glad that's over with. So what will happen now?"

Ben: "We will just have to find someone else to change the last three numbers before it's too late."

Walt: "So someone else will have to experience things like I did?"

Ben: "Yes. Hopefully he or she will bear up as well as you have, but if not, well, sometimes people have to make sacrifices for the greater good."

Walt: "Gosh, I feel sorry for that person. Or people, it might take more than one, right?"

Ben: "Yes, but that's not your concern. There's nothing you can do about it."

Walt feels guilty about letting someone else suffer when he is sure he would handle it better.

Walt: "If I changed another number, wouldn't that do something about it?"

Ben: "Well, yes, but like I said, we have several years to find someone else, I'm not ordering anyone strap you down there again, and in my condition I couldn't do it myself."

Walt: "I don't need anyone else to do that."

Ben: "You might hurt yourself if you tried. That blade is heavy enough to hurt if it hit you on the side."

Walt: "No, watch."

Walt gets up, and positions the straps pointing toward the center of the table. He gets up on one end, scoots back a little, and while sitting so the blade passes behind his back, puts his feet into two straps and buckles them tight. Then carefully timing his next move, he quickly lies back while the pendulum is at its highest point off to one side. He wriggles back, and by stretching can gets his hands in the other two loops.

Walt: "See? I just can't tighten the loops around my wrists, though."

Ben: "That was very clever and impressive of you. That little bit I can manage."

Ben gets up and tightens the straps around Walt's wrists. "How's that?"

Walt strains and squirms, and as usual can move only a centimeter or two in any direction. "That's good. There's no way I can get out. Actually, you could tighten this one more notch; I won't break."

Ben: "That's very brave of you, but we don't want to hurt you, and if you do get tickled it will be much more effective if you can squirm a little."

Walt: "All right."

Walt relaxes, watching the pendulum swing no more than half a meter over his defenseless stomach. Ben walks over to where Walt can see him.

Ben: "And that, dear Walter, is an example of how I can manipulate people."

It dawns on Walt that he has been tricked. _What did I just do! I had a chance to escape, and I practically tied myself up!_

Walt: "All this … you meant for me to end up like this all along!"

Ben: chuckles. "Of course I did. We have no way of knowing if we will ever find a subject as special as you, even with the extra years you have already given us."

Walt: "So when you said you weren't going to … and you don't need a wheelchair ... you lied to me!"

Ben: "A critic said back in Chapter 26 that it wouldn't be the last time I lied to you, and this is the first chance I've had to ensure he was right."

Walt growls, and out of frustration struggles some more, much to Ben's amusement. Of course the result is the same, and Walt feels completely foolish. He lies still to catch his breath, and then decides to try to talk his way out his predicament by flattery.

Walt: "Wow, when it comes to manipulating people, you're really good."

Ben: "Thank you. I know."

Walt: "So are you going to let me go now? That was the plan, until four minutes before the deadline."

Ben: "I can't do that now. In case your father does not come with everyone I asked for, the evidence suggests you need to be restrained in order for the experiment to proceed, so you're going to have to stay there."

Walt: "How long will the experiment last?"

Ben: "I imagine friction will stop that pendulum after a few days. We can go from there."

Walt: "Are you lying now?"

Ben: "If I lied all the time, then everyone could figure out what I mean by taking the opposite. Lying around half the time is most effective. But I'll give you some hope. Maybe you will find the threat of getting tickled so stressful that you can change another number before the blade and feather duster come down in about eight hours."

Walt: "Gee, thanks a lot."

Ben: "You're welcome. I have to go now. Try to change the remaining numbers."

Ben leaves Room 23, leaving Walt helplessly spread-eagled and dreading the descent of the pendulum. Walt closes his eyes and concentrates, trying to will the numbers to change, but nothing happens. At least there is still plenty of time for him to be rescued.


	46. Lighthouse of Mirrors

Desmond's sailboat sails the ocean through the night, and runs aground on the shore near a lighthouse, a couple kilometers north of the original beach. The passengers wake up with hangovers.

Shannon: "That was one lollapalooza of a party."

Boone: "Hey, we agree on something."

Hurley: "Where are we?"

Kate: "That's Charlie's line."

Hurley: "Charlie isn't here; he's back at the hatch."

Sayid: "According to these instruments, we are a short distance north of our beach."

Sawyer: "How come we didn't see this lighthouse before? It's even larger than Babar here."

Michael: "You'd have thought it was visible from the golf course."

Kate: "Or on your trip up here."

Cindy: "I guess we weren't paying attention."

Hurley: "Thanks for reminding me about the golf course; we never finished that. That's a plot line that needs to be completed."

Jack: "I guess we just weren't looking for a lighthouse, so we didn't see it."

Desmond: "We may be better off not obsessing over plot holes like this."

Libby: "Wait a minute – there is a perfectly good explanation why we didn't see this before. It was built by aliens and deposited here last night."

Hurley wants to defend Libby. "It does look sort of alien in design."

Cindy: "Well, it wouldn't be here if we weren't meant to explore it."

Boone: "Absolutely. Let's go."

Boone steps off the boat and splashes into the water.

Shannon: "Don't these boats come with ladders?"

Desmond: "Yes there's a small ladder hanging against the bulkhead over here."

Sayid: "'Bulkhead is a fancy word for 'wall'."

Sawyer: "We didn't ask for an explanation from you, Captain Nemo."

Hurley: "But it's more fun to jump. Cannonball!" Hurley jumps overboard, resulting in a big splash that sends Boone flying through the air onto the shore.

Kate: "Hurley had a good idea. Geronimo!" Kate jumps into the water and wades to shore."

Michael: "That reminds me, I'm a Geronimo Jackson fan."

Desmond: "What a coincidence; there's a Geronimo Jackson album in the hatch. We'll have to play it when we get back."

Michael and Desmond jump into the water.

Shannon: "Does this mean you're not going to get the ladder out?"

Sayid: "Come on Shan, have some fun. But first I have to weigh the anchor."

Shannon: "How much do you think the anchor weighs?"

Sayid: "No, that means to lower it so it sticks in the ocean floor and the boat doesn't float away while we're exploring the lighthouse."

Shannon: "Shouldn't someone stay on board to stop that from happening?"

Sayid: "Yes, but that would make too much sense."

Sayid weighs the anchor, and then he and Shannon jump into the water hand in hand.

Soon everyone wades to shore and reaches the lighthouse. The door is open.

Sayid: "As expected, there is a spiral staircase leading up."

Shannon: "Ooh, and look, there's a spiral slide to come down."

Boone: "You used to love those slides as a kid."

Shannon: "I'm sure you still do."

Kate: "Come on, we have to see what is at the top."

They reach the top, to discover not a light, but a bunch of mirrors of many shapes and curvatures.

Sawyer: "What is this … the crazy house of mirrors?"

Hurley: "Don't say 'crazy' in front of Libby."

Sawyer: "How about I say it behind her back?"

Shannon stares at a mirror that distorts her image unflatteringly. "Ack! Does this mirror make me look fat?"

Sayid: "I suppose, but that doesn't mean …"

Hurley: "Wrong answer dude. Come check this one out. This makes me look like Mr. Universe."

Kate: "Over here. I look eight feet tall."

Hurley: "Couldn't miss a chance to sneak a number, could you? Well, I refuse to freak out; I look too good in my mirror. Almost anorexic."

Michael: "This mirror makes me look like Walt with some hair on his face and chest."

Sawyer: "Then I suggest you move away. But you know what? I look great in any mirror."

Kate: "It's hard to disagree with that."

Desmond: "Whoa. I can see about a thousand of me here."

Sayid: "That would indicated that mirror consists of lots of small pieces approximating a paraboloid."

Cindy: "This mirror turns me upside down."

There is a moment of silence, and then Jack starts freaking out. "The mirrors are evil! They must be destroyed! Help me smash them!" Jack pounds his fists on a mirror. Sawyer and Sayid restrain him.

Sayid: "What are you doing? These mirrors could provide valuable clues as to what's going on here."

Jack: "But … but …" Jack buries his hands in his face. "These mirrors let me see my back and sides and … I never realized that my tattoos were so ugly!"

Sawyer: "I think most of us have managed to avoid looking at your tattoos."

Kate: "Why did you get them, anyway?"

Jack: "I was in some far off land, and depressed, and …"

Sawyer: "Stop right there, Mr. Narrator. We don't want to suffer through the most nauseating flashback ever."

Michael: "Come on, let's get out of here. We have to let those back at the Swan know that I didn't cause any more trouble."

Kate: "I think there's some makeup there that can cover up those tattoos, Jack, if you wish."

Boone: "Shan, how about we go down the slide together for old time's sake."

Shannon looks at Sayid, who is not in the least threatened by Boone.

Sayid: "Go for it, I'll be right behind."

Shannon: "Let's do this."

Boone and Shannon sit down on the top of the spiral slide, and slide down. At the end they are going very fast, and fly out a back door that suddenly opens and get deposited in a hump on the sand close to the shoreline.

Shannon: "You were right for a change; that was fun."

Sayid comes down next and crashes into them. "Maybe you should have cleared the landing spot."

They roll away, and the rest come down. They wade back to the sailboat and get on, and sail back to the original beach.

* * *

Ben walks in on Walt.

Ben: "I'm sorry to report that there's only been an infinitesimal change in the fourth number. Apparently you haven't become stressed enough yet."

Walt: "This whole pendulum must have been a bad idea. Let's try something else."

Ben: "I believe that it is taking you longer and longer to become sufficiently stressed and angry."

Walt: "You mean I've become so used to being tied up or caged or handcuffed that a few hours like this doesn't bother me very much?"

Ben: "Precisely. That's why it's probably necessary to keep you there the full eight hours. Though you still may be rescued before then."

Walt: "So that hope may also keep me from getting too upset until the last minute?"

Ben: "That is most likely the case. You are definitely developing a good understanding of the situation. You are quite an intelligent young man."

Walt: "If I'm so smart, why am I stretched out on this rack and can't stop that feather duster from tickling me?"

Ben: "You didn't have a chance because you came up against the master manipulator."

Walt: "I've been thinking about that. If you're such a great manipulator, how come you were stuck wherever you were for so many days?"

Ben gets annoyed. "How dare you point out such a gaping plot hole!"

Walt: "This seems like a good time for it. I don't have anything to lose."

Ben takes a few deep breaths to calm down. "I was acquiring information. Maybe I wasn't perfect. But I do see you're trying to make me do something to change your situation, and it won't work. That is quite a mind you got there; I appreciate your efforts. You would make a fine addition to our organization if you so choose."

Walt gets frustrated that his latest attempt at talking his way out his predicament is not working. "I'd never join your organization. And when I get my hands on you, I'll … I'll …" Walt struggles mightily again, only to wear himself out. But there is a clanking noise out in the jungle. Ben gets up and leaves, leaving Walt alone to stare helplessly at the pendulum blade which is swinging no more than a foot over his tummy.

* * *

Emma and Zach are staring at one of the large stone blocks when they are frightened by a strange, but not unfamiliar noise.

Zach: "Do you hear that?"

Emma: "Of course I do. That's the same noise we heard the day before we found Walt. He said it was some kind of monster made out of orange smoke. We need to hide."

Emma and Zach hide inside a multi-trunked tree. They watch as the orange smoke flies toward the perimeter, and then abruptly stops and bunches up as it reaches a point directly between two of the large stones, just as if it hit an invisible fence. There is a whimpering noise, and the smoke expands to its original shape and flies back whence it came.

Zach: "I guess it really isn't safe to walk between those stone columns."

Emma: "Yes. But how are we going to rescue Walt if we can't get through?"

Zach: "I don't know. Aren't you supposed to be the bright one?"

Emma: "Of course I am. How about we climb over one of those things?"

Zach: "You got a ladder? Hey, why didn't the smoke just fly over that fence? It was clearly off the ground, so if it wanted to get inside it could have flown however high was necessary."

Emma: "Umm … good question, especially from you. I think this is a case where we're not supposed to question obvious plot holes."

Zach: "Okay. Speaking of holes, we could dig a tunnel."

Emma: "You got a shovel?"

Zach: "Duh, we don't have anything. But I can use my bare hands."

Zach tries to dig a hole under the stone column they are closest to. After one handful of dirt, he realizes, "The ground is too hard."

Emma: "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come out here with no equipment or tools or anything."

Zach: "But Desmond said we're going to rescue Walt bare-handed. There must be a way in."

Emma: "I guess we can walk around the perimeter and hope there's a convenient tree leaning to the top of one of those stone towers."

Zach: "I don't have any better suggestions. Let's go."

Emma and Zach go counterclockwise around the perimeter formed by the stone monoliths.

* * *

Back at the Swan Station, Rose and Bernard get another shift at button-pressing duty.

Bernard: "I guess this isn't our episode."

Rose: "You're right dear. But I don't mind some alone time with you."

The scene fades to black.

* * *

The group from the sailboat meets the group building the church, which now consists of Eko, Ana-Lucia, Claire, Charlie, Sun, Jin, and Locke.

Ana-Lucia addresses the arrivals. "Aren't you back rather early?"

Sayid: "Yes. I think we should let Michael tell you."

Eko: "Michael, do you have something to confess?"

Michael: "Ummmm …"

Eko: "Come on, confession is good for the soul. And this is the perfect place for it."

Michael: "I confess that I was tempted to betray you to get my son back from the clutches of those Others. I hypnotized Ana-Lucia and released your prisoner, whose real name is Ben, and then led Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley towards an ambush. Fortunately I came to my senses before we crossed the blue line, and we went to Desmond's boat and came back."

Shannon: "We found a cool lighthouse on the way back."

Ana-Lucia: "Never mind that. Michael, you hypnotized me? That was rude."

Michael: "I know. I owe you one. Would you like to hypnotize me?"

Ana-Lucia: "I need to think about that. Maybe the audience can think of something appropriate for me to do to you some time."

Michael: "Fair enough."

Ana-Lucia: "Actually, it's a relief not to have to guard that twerp any more. We weren't getting any info out of him."

Jack: "Michael has provided us a lot of information about these Others."

Michael: "Yes, they have a village with lots of nice stuff surrounded by a sonic fence. They have computers, and a boat that can leave the island. They're also very well armed. I met several of them, and can tell you to watch out for if we encounter them again."

Locke: "That's very good, but what was so bad that you almost betrayed us?"

Michael: "They had Walt strapped down spread-eagled on a table, like a rack, and there was this pendulum thing with a feather duster attached to its blade that is slowly lowering and going to tickle his stomach."

Locke looks dumbfounded. "That's it? You know I trained him to be tough enough to handle things like that."

Michael: "Yeah, I know. And he was brave, but when he found out what they were going to do, and the way he was squirming so hard to get loose but had no chance, it just got to me."

Locke: "Those people can be clever. But don't worry. According to Desmond's vision Walt will be fine and be brought back by Emma and Zach."

Michael: "Yeah, I heard. And Kate is right; Walt will appreciate me for not betraying you, like he asked me to before those Others started the pendulum."

Sun: "Do you know how long it is before the pendulum comes down and tickles Walt?"

Michael: "They said it would take seventy-two hours, and I figure there's about two hours left for Emma and Zach to rescue him."

Jin: "Does the vision of the other kids bringing him back imply they will save him before he gets tickled?"

Desmond: "Actually, I just saw them for a second, so to be honest I can't be sure."

Sun: "That's good, it's about time we had a good cliffhanger."

Charlie: "That's not better than the one with me trapped in the cave."

Claire: "I agree. And Michael, back then you were the Michael we all knew and loved, helping get Charlie out of there. It's good to see you back to normal."

Michael: "Thank you. And I know what I want to do now. I'm going to do what I'm good at and help build this church good and strong. Got to get this ready for your wedding as soon as possible."

Everyone gets going to work on the church, and good progress is made.

* * *

Bea checks in on Walt. The feather duster attached to the pendulum is now swinging one decimeter over Walt's belly.

Bea: "How are you holding up?"

Walt: "Let's see, my limbs are getting stiff, I'm hungry, and I'm going to be tickled to death in less than an hour."

Bea: "Don't be so negative. Let's do something about that."

Walt: "Really?"

Bea: "Yes. Have a candy bar."

Bea unwraps a Gemini candy bar and feeds it to Walt.

Walt: "You know, I could feed myself if you unstrapped my hands."

Bea: "Did you suddenly decide I'm stupid?"

Walt: "No, it's just that I'm really desperate, and can't think of anything."

Bea: "Just think of the great service you're doing to humanity if your father doesn't come back in time."

Walt: "I've done enough." Walt eats the Gemini bar. "Where did the name Gemini come from?"

Bea: "Oh, these are named after space flights. Are you feeling better now?"

Walt: "A little. But I don't think I will be pretty soon."

Bea: "Be strong. Everything will be fine in the end."

Bea leaves Room 23.

* * *

Emma and Zach walk outside the perimeter sonic fence for hours. They don't find any trees leaning against the stone columns that can be climbed, and nowhere is the ground soft enough to dig by hand.

Emma: "This definitely goes all the way around their village. I don't see any way in."

Zach: "I guess. Hey, how about we push these big stone things over?"

Emma: "Don't be ridiculous; they must weigh tons."

Zach: "Maybe they're balanced just right."

Zach pushes against the stone they are closest to. It budges a little. "Hey, it moved, come help me."

Emma pushed the large stone with Zach, and it topples over. There is a hissing noise, and then it stops.

Emma: "That was amazing. Come on, we still have to find out where Walt is. This is a big circle, but it's probably near the middle."

Emma and Zach climb on the fallen stone and run toward the village.

* * *

Ethan and Tom notice Michael's group is back and make a report by walkie-talkie.

Ethan: "Hello, who's there?"

Juliet: "Me, Juliet. What's up?"

Ethan: "Mike and everyone else are back here. They're not coming over there for you to capture."

Juliet growls. _Will I ever meet any new men? I'll have to take matters into my own hands._ Juliet composes herself."Thank you for telling me."

Juliet hangs up and marches into Room 23. The feather duster on the pendulum is now swinging a mere inch over Walt.

Walt: "Juliet! Is my father coming?"

Juliet: "I just found out that he isn't. Too bad."

Walt's stress level goes up. "You're the nice one. Since Ben's plan isn't working, can't you please unstrap me?"

Juliet: "This was supposed to bring some new men here. Ben will make sure that I'll never see any if I let you go."

Walt: "Let me go and we can go to our camp together."

Juliet: "If we tried that it would be worse for both of us. I need to think."

Walt: "Then can you please put something on my stomach? Anything so those feathers don't touch my bare skin."

Juliet: "That's just delaying the inevitable. At least we'll find out if Ben's hypothesis about the Vermicelli Equation and you is correct. We need to be on his good side."

Walt sighs. "I guess I understand. I had to try."

Juliet: "I understand too. Cheer up; you are most likely about to make a great contribution to the human race."

Juliet leaves Room 23 with the pendulum contraption one centimeter over Walt.

Walt stares in dread as the pendulum relentlessly continues to swing. He determines it is lowering by about a tenth of a millimeter each time. _Would that be a decimillimeter?_ Walt feels a minor burst of energy from the Gemini candy bar. With a final burst of energy he strains on all four straps with all his might. Alas, they yield no more than four millimeters, and Walt is forced to relax his muscles. He can feel a breeze on his stomach when the feathers sweep a single millimeter over him.

_This really is not looking good._


	47. Anything for the Greater Good

As Emma and Zach race towards the Others' village, an alarm goes off, the result of their having knocked over one of the large stone blocks around the perimeter. They hide in the trees as random redshirts scurry about.

Zach: "What do we do now?"

Emma: "We have to wait for those guards to go away. Maybe they'll decide that the wind knocked that big stone over. We can't rescue Walt if we get captured."

Zach: "But there may not be much time left."

Emma: "I know. It's possible we're already too late, but Walt has to be fine eventually. Let's try to see where they keeping him."

* * *

Inside the DeGroovy building:

Ben: "What's going on?"

Juliet: "There's been a breach in the security perimeter."

Ben: "How did it happen?"

Juliet: "One of the stone pillars fell over."

Ben: "Darn! We need better support for those things. But how did it fall over?"

Bea: "Maybe it was the wind."

Ben: "The wind gets used to explain a lot of things, but we can't take any chances. Get someone to put that stone back up, and make sure no one gets into this building. The experiment must be allowed to reach a conclusion."

* * *

In Room 23, Walt is disappointed that the door isn't opening at the last second for someone to stop the pendulum. The blade descends a tenth of a millimeter on each swing until it the feather duster barely scrapes his stomach. The contact is very brief, and the pendulum continues unabated to one side, giving Walt time to think.

_That wasn't so bad. If that's all it is I can take this quite a while._

However, the blade descends a fraction lower, and on the next sweep the feathers brush across a slightly large patch of sensitive skin. Walt braces himself and gets a chance to recover while the device swings to the side, but on each successive swing the contact is longer and longer, and the pause to catch his breath is shorter and shorter.

"Ha ha ha!" Pause for breath. "Ha ha ha!"

The pendulum descends until the feathers sweep clear across Walt's stomach and barely scrape his sides. At this point he wishes the blade would descend further since he finds the light tickling more insidious than heavier contact, but the blade reaches the lowest arc to which it has been set. Each pass of the feather duster now maximizes the tickling sensation.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Gasp for air. "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Walt squirms and wriggles and writhes, but there is no preventing his stomach from being brushed by the feathers every oscillation of the pendulum. But the momentary respites while the pendulum is at the height of its arc on either side give him hope.

_I just have to hold on … hee hee hee hee hee … I can do this … ho ho ho … no I can't … aah … ahh … ahh … this actually feels kind of good …. aaaahhhhh … but it will be too much eventually._

* * *

Back in Room 8, Ben, Bea, and Juliet are looking at computer printouts.

Bea: "What's the status?"

Ben: "The fourth number is decreasing from seventeen, but not as quickly as I thought it would. The boy is holding up longer and better than I anticipated."

Juliet: "How much longer will it take?"

Ben: "Probably a few hours."

Juliet: "Can't we speed this up? I hate to think of Walt tied down and tickled for so long."

Ben: "We promised this would be the consequences if Michael didn't show up, and we have to stick to our word."

Juliet: "Then what are we going to do in the meantime?"

Ben: "Let someone else have a scene."

* * *

Back on the south side of the island, the church is complete. Wedding plans have to be made. Charlie comes up to Hurley.

Charlie: "Hurley, I'd like you to be my best man."

Hurley: "I'd like to be best at something. Best man at what?"

Charlie: "I mean for my weeding."

Hurley: "Weeding? You mean you want a gardener?"

Charlie: "No, that was a typo. I meant my wedding."

Hurley: "Oh wow. I've never been a best man before. What do I do?"

Sawyer butts in. "The best man's chief responsibility is to organize the bachelor party. How well you pull this off will determine the nicknames I call you for the foreseeable future."

Hurley gulps. "I don't know if I can handle the pressure. But for my friend Charlie I'll try. So … what happens in a bachelor party? I never was invited to one."

Sawyer: "You could organize a trip to a go-go bar, hire some dancing girls, and …"

Hurley: "I get the picture. But bars and dancing girls are in short supply here. Couldn't I take you guys on a golf outing instead?"

Sawyer groans. "Improvise."

Hurley seeks help from the one he confides in most.

Hurley: "Hi Libby. Charlie named me his best man, so I'm supposed to organize a bachelor party for Charlie, or Sawyer will call me more mean names. I don't know how to handle it, like getting the entertainment. Can you help me?"

Libby: "Do you mean you want me to dance? In revealing clothing? And …"

Hurley: "No, I mean … who would I ask … how would I … uhhh …."

Libby: "You mean you think I wouldn't be good at it?"

Hurley: "No, I meant … that … you know … you might find it degrading and …"

Libby: "I never got asked to do anything like that before. It might be fun. You need to ask around."

Hurley: "Okay. But I can't imagine someone like Ana-Lucia doing that."

As luck would have it, Ana-Lucia is walking by.

Ana-Lucia: "Ana-Lucia wouldn't do what?"

Hurley isn't comfortable talking to Ana-Lucia about this. "Refer to herself in the third person?"

Ana-Lucia: "That's obviously not what you were talking about. I want the truth."

Hurley is intimidated. "I have to organize a bachelor party and didn't think that you would, uh, you know …"

Ana-Lucia: "You think I'm a tough broad who doesn't condone that sort of thing? Maybe I'm on the vice squad and will mess things up?"

Hurley: "Ummm …"

Ana-Lucia: "Well, I'll have you know that I'm not a one-dimensional character. I'll be delighted to perform in front of the guys."

Hurley's jaw drops. "Umm … thank you." _This is easier than I thought. I'll get Shannon next._

Hurley finds Shannon, who has been pulling her weight constructing the church.

Hurley: "Hi Shannon. I'm organizing a bachelor party for Charlie, and I hope you'll be willing to join the talent."

Shannon: "You mean since I'm gorgeous and look and dress like a chorus line girl you think I'll automatically go along with this?"

Hurley realizes he was too confident. "Oh, uh, I thought you might, but if you don't want to, I'm sorry …"

Shannon: "Tell you what. Let's make it fair. We'll put on a show for you, if you get the guys to put on a show for the women. If Charlie's going get a bachelor party, then Claire deserves a bachelorette party."

Hurley: "You mean I should …"

Shannon: "Actually, we'd prefer you not perform. And Bernard." But get the rest of the guys."

Hurley: "That does sound fair. Thanks for the advice."

Hurley wipes his brow, and seeks out Kate. "Hi Kate. How'd you like to perform in a bachelor party, on the condition that there is a bachelorette party right after it?"

Kate thinks for a second. "That sounds good. When is it going to be?"

Hurley looks at Kate blankly. "I hadn't thought of that."

Kate: "Let's make it for tomorrow night. That will give us time to organize things, and the kids shouldn't be back for another day. But they're due back the next."

Hurley: "Good idea. Thanks."

Hurley seeks out the remaining women. "Hi Sun. We're going to have a bachelor party and then a bachelorette party tomorrow night, and … oh wait, you're married."

Sun: "That doesn't mean Jin and I have to miss out on all the fun. But he's not going to do a striptease or whatever in front of all the other women, and Jin would never let me do likewise."

Hurley: "So … you might watch, but not participate?"

Sun: "That's a possibility. Let's see how it goes."

Hurley: "Okay, I understand." _Now who's left? Oh right, Cindy, I almost forgot about her._

Hurley: "Hey Cindy, we're going to have a bachelor party, and then a bachelorette party, and could you be a part of those?"

Cindy: "Normally I'd find that degrading, but I'm not getting enough attention. I don't want to miss a chance to be in some more scenes."

Hurley: "Great. Now I just got to tell the guys."

Hurley turns around, and Rose is there.

Rose: "Hello Hurley, what's going on?"

Hurley: "Oh, there'll be a bachelor party tomorrow night, and … how'd you like to be on button-pushing duty then? Sort of a designated button pusher?"

Rose: "That sounds like the best way to handle it."

Hurley breathes a sigh of relief. "Good. Now I get to the guys organized for a bachelorette party."

Rose: "Bernard will be happy to join me at the computer entering those numbers."

Hurley gathers the guys together. "I got some news about the bachelor party. The women are willing to do it tomorrow night, provided we perform a bachelorette party right after. They just don't want me and Bernard performing."

Bernard: "Figures."

Hurley: "You wouldn't mind being the button pusher with Rose then, would you?"

Bernard: "I suppose not."

Hurley looks at the rest of the men.

Boone shrugs. "Sounds fair."

Sayid: "Sounds rather unseemly."

Michael: "Lighten up. I think it's a good idea. We need some fun before the kids get back."

Jack: "This could be a good opportunity to observe the women. Professionally speaking of course."

Sawyer: "Yeah, right."

Jin: "I don't think Sun will let me."

Hurley: "She said you better not perform, but maybe you can watch the girls, depending on how things go."

Charlie: "Hold it. Claire won't be up onstage in front of us, will she?"

Hurley: "No, the bride and groom get to be entertained. They shouldn't have to work for this."

Charlie: "What about Locke?"

Hurley: "He wasn't mentioned. He's got to be at the hatch. Wait, isn't his partner Sawyer?"

Sawyer: "I traded my shift with Desmond in exchange for not calling him nicknames for the next cycle of shifts. I'm still deciding about you, though. I'd have to be pretty drunk to go along with this."

Eko: "I'm not sure about this. I think we should await a sign."

Out of nowhere Vincent comes running with a beer can in his mouth.

Sawyer is shaken, and then takes the can. "Dharpa Beer. Now that looks like a sign."

Sayid: "I'm inclined to agree. But where did that come from?"

Michael: "Why don't we ask him?"

Boone: "Because he's a dog?"

Michael: "Fine, I'll try anyway. Vincent, can you show us where you found that?" _He listened to me when I told him to take Sun's clothes, and then stopped when I asked him. He should listen to me now._

Vincent walks in the direction he came from.

Michael: "I'm following him. Anyone else want to come?"

Sawyer: "If there's a chance of beer, Mr. Budweiser, I'm up for it."

Hurley: "There could be more food wherever Vincent found that. I'm up for a little hike."

Jin: "I need to be in more scenes."

Michael, Sawyer, Hurley, and Jin follow Vincent a kilometer to a beat-up car lying on its side.

Jin: "What is that thing?"

Michael: "I can't believe it … this is … an Edsel!"

Jin: "What is an Edsel?"

Hurley: "It was a car made by Ford, from 1958 to 1960. They sold very badly because they were too expensive and ugly, but now they're collector's items. It would be great if we could fix it up and get it running."

Sawyer: "Fat chance."

Hurley: "You said you wouldn't use nicknames for me."

Sawyer: "I wasn't, that was just a figure of speech. It's ridiculous that that car could be made to work after being in the jungle all these years."

Hurley: "I'm good at fixing up cars. At least let's get it right side up."

The four men push the car onto its tires, which are flat.

Jin: "I think this might take a while."

Hurley: "There was some equipment in the parachute drop, and tools in the hatch. It will be a fun project."

Sawyer looks inside the large car and the trunk. "Get a load of all the cases of beer in here!"

Michael: "That beer could have been lying out in the jungle hear for thirty or forty years. We should bring it back to the hatch where there's a refrigerator."

They each grab two cases.

Michael: "Good boy, Vincent, you did a great job."

Sawyer: "I like your attitude improvement."

Michael: "Thanks. Uh, what?"

Sawyer: "You were more pleased that Vincent led you to this beer instead of your son."

Michael: "Oh, yeah. I'm convinced Emma and Zach will find Walt, and he'll be fine."

* * *

Walt fights valiantly, but after three hours he is tickled into submission, totally losing it. He laughs uncontrollably, and his brain is unable to process the sensations. Being tickled now feels very good, and he doesn't understand why he is trying to stop it. His struggles, now involuntary and feeble, continue. A part of him is doing everything to escape, while another part is glad he can't. To the benefit of the latter, it takes another hour before the emotions become overpowering. The ground rumbles, and everything in the building shakes. A volcano forms on the far north side of the island and begins to erupt, spewing black spoke visible throughout the island. The walls crack, objects tumble off shelves, windows shatter, and the crane holding the pendulum teeters and then topples over.

* * *

In Room 8, there is excitement over the machine monitoring the Vermicelli Equation numbers.

Ben: "Look, he's doing it. The fourth number … is changing all the way to seventeen now!"

The building shakes, and a wall collapses between Rooms 8 and 23.

Bea: "We have to get out of here, now!"

Juliet: "But what about Walt?"

Ben: "He's special; we just proved it again and he'll be fine. But we're not. Run away! Then we'll go around outside and get him."

Ben, Bea, and Juliet barely escape the crumbling DeGroovy Building. Then there is a sonic boom which stuns them, knocking them to the ground.

* * *

Emma and Zach are also stunned, but recover more quickly than the adults. With a few of the Other adults scattered about unconscious, the siblings race into the remains of the DeGroovy Building. Once inside, they listen, and hear laughter.

Zach: "That sounds like Walt."

Emma: "You're right. But what could he be laughing about?"

Emma and Zach make their way across fallen furniture and all sorts of debris, following the sound of the laughter until they force their way into Room 23. To their great relief they see Walt, even though he is still strapped down spread-eagled to the table.

Emma: "Walt! Are you okay?"

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Zach: "What did they do to you?"

Emma: "Do you recognize us?"

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Emma: "He must be delirious."

Zach: "Maybe he saw himself in a mirror."

Emma: "Maybe he saw you as we came in."

Zach: "More likely you."

Emma: "No, he was laughing before we came in. He probably saw himself. Never mind, quick, we have to get him out of here."

They unstrap Walt from the table and walk him through the rubble and out of the building, back toward the north, the direction from which they came.

* * *

Ben, Bea, and Juliet eventually come to their senses. They look around at the village. The part of the building Walt is in is pretty much intact, but there is damage to virtually every other building in the village. Then they see Emma and Zach stumbling away to the north with Walt.

Bea: "Should we stop them?"

Ben: "Let them go. Walt may have been more than we bargained for. It will take months to repair this damage."

Juliet: "What about your tumor?"

Ben: "I have to think up another plan."

Juliet: "I've got an idea. I'll just go to their camp alone, and ask Jack to meet you in the Staff. I'll escort him personally."

Ben: "Good idea; the Staff is mostly underground and won't have been affected by the earthquake so much. But going there might be dangerous for you."

Juliet: "I have that figured out. I won't be threatening if I dress like them."

* * *

The ground shakes near the church, but not as intensely as in Othersville. Michael, Sawyer, Hurley, and Jin reach the church with the beer.

Michael: "Look, Vincent found all this beer in an Edsel."

Jack: "Michael, you may have been in the sun for too long."

Jin: "No, we all saw it. Help us carry this to the hatch."

Jack: "We should all go there in case there are aftershocks or more powerful quakes."

Jack, Boone, Sayid, and Charlie each grab a case, and everyone goes to the Swan station.

Michael: "Hi John, Desmond, look: we got eight cases of beer, and there's more where that came from."

Hurley realizes that one of the numbers was just spoken, but is determined not to let it bother him.

Locke: "Funny how we didn't find it before."

Michael: "Actually Vincent found it in an old car, an Edsel."

Hurley: "Also, there's going to be a bachelor party followed by a bachelorette party tomorrow night. Are you willing to participate on both ends?"

Desmond: "Fine with me."

Locke: "You mean the ladies want me to strut and dance and stuff after I watch them? I need to think about that."

Jack, to Locke and Desmond: "Did you notice the earthquake?"

Desmond: "Just a slight rumble. This hatch is very secure, and it would take a large bomb to destroy it."

Locke: "Like if the numbers didn't get entered?" _I'm getting this urge to … blow something up._

Desmond: "Something like that. Let's get the beer into the refrigerator."

Jack: "It still might not be safe to drink after being the jungle heat for decades and cooled for a few hours."

Sawyer: "Suit yourself, Doc. There'll be more for the rest of us, and you can fix us up if anything goes wrong."

Jack: "Okay. I haven't had enough chances to practice medicine lately, you are all too healthy."


	48. Born to Make Beer Runs

Note: If you have had enough of Walt, Emma, and Zach, scroll down to the horizontal line after this one.

* * *

Emma and Zach are supporting Walt, who is laughing and babbling incoherently while holding onto them, as they walk away from Othersville. They see the volcano erupting far to the north.

Zach: "Do you think that volcano is going to spew out lava and cover the whole island?"

Emma: "Looks more like we might get covered in ash."

Zach: "Thanks for the reassurance."

They go between two fallen stone pillars, and soon they reach a position that is a perfect match for Desmond's vision. There is a bright flash of light, the volcano stops erupting, and Walt slowly comes to his senses.

Walt: "Wh- where are we? How did .. heh heh heh." Walt chuckles when he sees Emma and Zach in boarskin loincloths, plus a brief boarskin top for Emma. "I see you met John Locke. You look great." Walt has a hard time keeping his eyes off Emma.

Emma: "What? Oh … I completely forgot I was wearing this. Yes, we met John."

Zach: "Yeah, John is cool. He's been training us like he did you, and we're really good now."

Walt: "That's great, but … where are we?"

Emma: "Walt, we're just outside that Others' village. Don't you remember?"

Walt blinks. "I guess I was here … where did you find me?"

Zach: "You were tied down all stretched out on a table in one of their buildings. But you were laughing, and couldn't stop. What was so funny?"

Walt thinks, and his memories come back to him. "They put me on this thing like a rack, and this pendulum with a feather duster was coming down."

Emma: "So that really happened? You poor thing. That pendulum thing must have fallen over when the earth shook. How long were you like that?"

Walt: "Seemed like ages. The entire episode before last, I was tied down there, and all I could do was watch that thing come lower and lower, right over my stomach. And then …it got me. I tried to hold out, but it wouldn't stop. It kept grazing me, and tickling me, for hours, and then … I know I lost it. The next thing I knew I was out here with you. But why are you here?"

Zach: "We're here to rescue you. Sorry we were late."

Walt looks at the siblings. "But … no weapons, or tools, or anything? How did you expect to rescue me?"

Emma: "Desmond said he saw us walking you somewhere in a vision, and we were dressed like we are now. We had to match what he saw to make it work."

Walt: "Who's Desmond?"

Zach: "Desmond's the dude who was in the hatch."

Walt: "Dude? I see you met Hurley."

Emma: "Sure, we met everyone. Desmond's a nice guy, and that hatch is a really neat place."

Walt: "Oh right, Dad mentioned him when I saw him a few days ago. I remember now, that was something John and Boone found, but I never got to see it."

Zach: "Well, we're going there now. It just will take a couple days from here."

Walt: "Fine. But there's something wrong … my dad was supposed to rescue me. He said he was going to, and then … he bailed on me. He saw me after they put me on that rack, and started that pendulum. He said he would come back and save me. I can't believe he let me suffer like that. What a jerk!"

Emma: "Don't be hard on him. He was going to … he was going to turn over Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley to those people, and then broke down when he realized it was wrong to betray his friends just to stop you from being tickled. Besides, they then told him that Desmond had had this vision, and that we were the ones that were going to rescue you. Can't you understand that?"

Walt: "I … my head hurts."

Emma: "Why don't you sit down? I can fix a headache."

Walt sits, and Emma kneels behind him. She massages his temples, while Zach scoffs.

Zach: "She can't keep her hands off you."

Walt: "Shut up. This is helping … aahhh."

After a few minutes, Emma asks, "How are you now?"

Walt: "Much better. I remember more now. I told Dad not to betray anyone to win my release before the Others stretched me on the rack, and that I'd never respect him if he did. He's the best dad ever, and he did the right thing by leaving me there. I'm sorry I said he was a jerk."

Emma: "That's okay. You were under a lot of stress. Your shoulders must be sore after being stretched out for so long; let me help."

Emma rubs Walt's shoulders, and thinks they are a little bigger than before.

Zach: "So why did they tie you down and have that pendulum feather duster thing tickle you?"

Walt has to think a moment. "Emma just said 'stress.' That's it. This was one of their experiments. There's this equation with six numbers in it, and if they get changed to the right numbers it extends the time until doomsday. If all six are fixed then doomsday is postponed indefinitely. Ben figured out that the first three numbers had changed to the right numbers when I was tied up for a long time and under a lot of stress. Like the day before you found me, when Ethan had handcuffed and gagged me and tied me up, and that orange smoke monster thing came and took him away."

Zach: "Hey, we saw that orange smoke when we were near the village. It couldn't go through that funny fence they have, but we knocked one of those stones over."

Walt: "You did? Actually, that fence isn't so good. I ran through by sticking my fingers in my ears when I was escaping, but Ethan caught soon afterward."

Emma: "Does that mean you were somewhat angry at that time, but not enough to do things like make earthquakes happen and volcanoes erupt?"

Walt: "Probably. And another time a number changed was when I was hanging upside-down in that trap for so long and your group was giving me a hard time. And the first time was when John tied me to a tree and I couldn't get loose for hours until Hurley tickled me with a black feather, like from the feather duster the Others just used. And strange things happen, like the weather goes crazy, or birds come flying at and pooping on me."

Emma: "Well, I'm pretty sure you changed a number just now. So that should be four out of six you've corrected."

Zach: "So does that mean you're going to have to be tied up two more times and made real mad?"

Walt: "I'm through with that. I did more than my share; let somebody else fix the last two if they really need fixing."

Walt realizes that the sun is setting, and they haven't been moving. "Looks like we're sleeping out here somewhere tonight."

Emma: "We found a place on our way in, and there's some fruit trees and water nearby. We've become quite good at this thanks to John."

* * *

[Enough of the kids for now.]

* * *

The Oceanic passengers are near the Swan Station when they see the flash of light.

Shannon: "Look, there's no more smoke coming from that volcano."

Sayid: "Maybe that means we're safe now."

Jack: "No, you should listen to me. We'll be safest in the hatch. There could be aftershocks."

They go inside, and explain to Desmond.

Desmond: "I had a flash that lasted just a moment, but it was the scene with the children. I'm sure it means that my previous vision has come to pass, and that they're all right now."

Michael hugs Desmond. "Thank you so much; that is a load off my mind. Can you tell if Emma and Zach got to Walt before he got tickled?"

Desmond: "Sorry, I only saw them for a nanosecond. That wasn't long enough to tell."

Sawyer: "Come on, it doesn't take a genius. Weird things happen that kid gets mad. I'd say earthquakes and volcanoes and funny light qualify as weird things."

Michael glowers at Sawyer: "Thanks for cheering me up."

Sawyer: "Hey, wouldn't you rather know the truth? Besides, your offspring is fine, he'll be back with his friends in a couple days, and he'll be stronger for the experience."

Michael reconsiders. "You're right, Sawyer. Thanks for straightening me out. Also, if what Ben says is true, Walt just extended everyone's time on earth by several years."

Hurley: "Sounds like a cause for celebration. Let's eat."

Everybody eats dinner. Sawyer can't resist drinking one beer to see how it tastes after being cooled in a refrigerator.

Sawyer: "Not bad. Surprisingly good, actually. And pretty strong."

Jack: "I think we better wait till tomorrow to see if there are any ill effects. Thank you for serving as our guinea pig."

Sawyer crushes the empty beer can on his forehead, making sure Kate is there to see and be impressed.

While most are getting ready for bed, Shannon and Sayid have other ideas.

Sayid: "Shannon, I'm sure it's safe. Why don't we go back to our tent on the beach and … finish what we started a couple nights ago?"

Shannon: "Amazing. I was thinking the same thing."

They go back to the beach in the twilight, where they find their tent shaken up a little by the earthquake. They straighten it out most of the way.

Sayid: "Why don't you wait here, while I get a new strong branch to support our tent? This branch here is bent."

Shannon: "Fine, just don't be long."

Sayid: "I won't."

Sayid goes to the edge of the jungle, and Ethan and Tom spot their chance. They aim the projection equipment into the tent where Shannon is alone, and turn it on

Shannon decides that her bikini top has become too stifling, and undoes it. She hears something and thinks it's Sayid, but when she looks us, she sees Walt's image projected onto the inside of the tent, and hears:

Image of Walt: ".esolc er`yeth dna gnimoc er`yehT."

Shannon screams at the image, which is dripping with green slime. Sayid rushes back with the new branch, ready to swing it at an intruder. Just as he gets there, Ethan and Tom turn off the projector.

Sayid: "What is it?"

Shannon: "It was Walt! He was in our tent! And he saw me …"

Sayid looks around. "Walt is not here. You're imagining things again. You have to get over this obsession; it's ruining the mood."

Shannon: "It's not an obsession! I tell you, I saw him, and he was talking strangely, like backwards."

Sayid: "There are no other footprints. You're just overly concerned about him."

Shannon: "I tell you somebody is playing tricks."

Sayid: "I guess that is a possibility."

Shannon: "Are you just saying that to placate me?"

Sayid: "Yes. I mean no. I mean … the mood is kind of ruined, isn't it?"

Shannon: "I think so."

Sayid: "Well, we can still go to sleep here. Try to think of something more pleasant, like the parties tomorrow night."

Ethan reports to B

* * *

en via radio. "Hi Ben, we just played the second image and scared Shannon."

Ben: "Wonderful. But we've got big problems here. I need you to come back here and help rebuild our village. I'm sure the earthquake's epicenter was right under Room 23."

Ethan: "I warned you, crazy things happen around that kid."

Tom: "I guess we're done here; we're coming."

Ben: "Good. But there is some good news. Walt did change the fourth number to sixteen. According to the Vermicelli Equation the Doomsday date changed from 2038 to 2056. We're set on that for a long time."

Ethan: "Glad to see that all the trouble we went through has been worth it."

Ben: "Yes, it's just so difficult to be appreciated in one's time. See you soon."

Tom: "Actually, it will take a day and a half to get there from here."

Ben: "Then see you not too soon."

Everyone settles in for the night.

* * *

Morning comes to the island. Sayid and Shannon return to the Swan after a less than enchanting evening. In the Swan, Sawyer has had no ill effects from the beer.

Michael: "I'm convinced. Who wants to go on a beer run?"

Boone: "Me. I need to do something."

Hurley: "If we're going back to that Edsel, I'd like to bring some tools and try to fix it up."

Sawyer: "No one's stopping you, Mr. Goodwrench."

Hurley pauses, remembering that Sawyer isn't supposed to call him insulting nicknames until they see how the bachelor party goes. Then Hurley decides this latest nickname is much better than most, so he doesn't object.

Eko: "I would like to see this vehicle. If there is also wine, we could use it for Communion."

Michael: "I don't think there was any wine there; just lots of beer cans."

Sun: "I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I can grow some grapes in my garden."

Sayid: "The climate is awfully hot for grapes."

Shannon: "Can't you be less technical for a moment?"

Sayid: "That would probably require alcohol."

Shannon: "In that case, I can't wait for tonight."

Sayid: "I predict you will, and successfully."

Shannon: "Suddenly I think I'd like to visit the old car."

Kate: "I need to go on a trip. I've been missing out, and that can't continue."

Ana-Lucia: "Same here. Things got a bit slow for me. I want some action."

Jack: "Hey, I'm supposed to be the trip leader."

Sawyer: "I don't remember anyone electing you."

Ana-Lucia: "Should we have an election?"

Hurley: "Can't we just get going?"

Claire: "Charlie, what do you think?"

Charlie: "The parties are for us; we should relax today and have a good time."

Jin: "PARTY!"

Hurley: "Dude, great English!"

A large contingent makes several trips back and forth to the Edsel, bringing back all of the beer, and taking most of the day.

* * *

Back in Othersville, Ben and Juliet make plans.

Ben: "We have to have my operation in the Flame."

Juliet: "Don't you mean the Staff? Let's not confuse those again."

Ben grimaces. "Yes, the Staff. Ethan will be there to assist. Now what are you going to do?"

Juliet: "I will enter their camp seductively dressed and carrying a white flag of surrender. I'll have Jack eating out of the palm of my hand, and bring him to the Staff alone. He'll perform the surgery and we'll go our separate ways."

Ben: "He might want some sort of deal for performing the surgery."

Juliet: "Then I'll offer myself as a hostage if his demands are unreasonable."

Ben: "Sounds like it's worth a shot. We should salvage what equipment we can and bring it over there."

They go collecting some medical equipment, with Bea's and Mikhail's help.

* * *

Emma, Zach, and Walt roam through the jungle all day. Oddly, nothing unusual happens.

* * *

Tom and Ethan walk toward Othersville all day. Nothing unusual happens to them, either.

* * *

It is approaching time for the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Claire hangs out with Rose and Bernard at the computer. The other women discuss plans.

Ana-Lucia: "How are we going to do this?"

Shannon: "I think a chorus line would be nice."

Kate: "But it will look better if we're dressed similarly. Ana-Lucia, Libby, and Cindy, you need to do something about your tops. Roll them up to show off your midriffs."

Ana-Lucia: "I might need to be drunk to do something like that."

Kate: "Not a problem, here."

Kate hands Ana-Lucia and Cindy beers that have been collected during the day. They are surprisingly potent.

Ana-Lucia: "If we're going to drink, it's only fair that you do, too."

Kate: "I agree, that's fair."

Everyone drains a can of beer.

Libby: "Wow, I fell … different."

Cindy: "Is it aliens again?"

Libby: "No, I think it's … time for another round."

They drink another round, and become somewhat inebriated. Cindy and Libby manage to get their tops rolled into place and their pants rolled up high, but Ana-Lucia's black tank-top refuses to stay in place.

Shannon: "I got an idea." Shannon finds a scissors and shakily cuts of the bottom two-thirds of Ana-Lucia's top and most of her pants.

Sun: "That was brilliant."

Kate: "Where did you come from? I thought you and Jin weren't so big on this."

Sun: "We had a discussion, and decided we haven't been in enough scenes recently. This should also shakes things up a little, and add some excitement to our lives."

Shannon: "Glad to have you with us. Sorry Ana-Lucia, I'm sorry your clothes are permanently damaged."

Ana-Lucia is too drunk to care and just laughs.

Shannon: "Ready? It's showtime!"

* * *

The men are waiting in a large room in the Swan Station.

Jack: "Think this is going to be good?"

Sawyer: "I know what will improve it. Have another beer."

Jack: "I … don't want to develop an alcohol dependency again. I mean, an alcohol dependency for the first time."

Sawyer: "Will you lighten up or just go away?"

Michael: "I'm with my buddy Sawyer on this one." Michael chugs a beer. "You need to live it up a little."

Boone: "I'd say he needs to live it up a lot."

Sayid: "I have to agree that would likely improve your personality."

Jack: "But … Charlie had a drug dependency. I don't want that to happen to me."

Charlie: "I got cured, and if you get hooked, I'm sure John can fix you."

Locke: "Of course I can. I can do anything on this island."

Hurley: "Can you outdrink Jack?"

Jack: "No way. I have to win at everything I do."

Michael: "I want a piece of this. Count me in."

Desmond: "Sounds like the most fun I'll have had in a long time."

Jin: "Ditto."

Michael: "Jin, you here? I thought you and Sun weren't so big on this."

Jin: "We had a discussion, and decided we haven't been in enough scenes recently. This should also shakes things up a little, and add some excitement to our lives."

Sawyer: "Did anyone else experience déjà vu just now?"

Locke: "Something bounced off the island."

Boone: "Great idea about the beer-drinking contest. Anyone not in?"

Everyone looks at Eko.

Eko: "I will do well to participate in the experiences of my flock and get to know them better."

Jack: "We're not your flock."

Eko: "Maybe you'll change your mind. Let's go."

The guys behave in a rather juvenile fashion as they down brew after brew.

Desmond: "This Dharpa beer is almost as strong as the Scotch that was in my sailboat."

Sawyer: "You Scotch Tape … darn, I'm too blitzed to think up good nicknames now."

Desmond: "How about Scotch Guard?"

Sawyer: "That's not sho bad …" Sawyer's speech is slurring, but he is holding up better than most of his fellow passengers. The men are all rather wasted when the women come dancing in, shoulder-to-shoulder and legs kicking high.


	49. And at Long Last Found

Authors note: In the previous chapter, I changed Ana-Lucia's "shirt" to "black tank top" for the sake of continuity with Chapter 21. Anyone who catches other errors may be adorned with glowing praise if desired.

* * *

At the bachelor party in the hatch:

Hurley: "I think some music would be appropriate."

Everyone is too inebriated to offer opinions.

Desmond: "There're lots of records there; just pick some."

Hurley: "Okay."

Hurley picks out an album and puts it on the phonograph. The rocking tunes of "The Flying Purple People Eater" fill the hatch.

Boone: "Purple People – that reminds me something."

Locke: "The Purple Pebble? The ship where we found that fake dynamite?"

Boone: "People – Pebble – sounds good."

Eko: "What are you talking about?"

Sawyer: "Who cares?"

Locke: "There's a funny ship that got beached in the middle of the island."

Eko: "How odd. I'd like to see it some time."

Michael: "Oh yeah, my son said he found that on one of his Waltabouts."

Locke: "Good one, Mike, but the word is 'Walkabout'."

Boone: "I think 'Waltabout' is a great word."

Sawyer: "Why are you talking about junk like that? Enjoy the show."

Charlie: "I know this feeling. We may have a great time now, but then we're going to forget everything in the morning."

Jin: "I just noticed my names sounds like a drink in English."

Sayid: "That was pretty random."

Desmond: "There's nothing wrong with randomness."

Jack: "This conversation isn't making any sense."

Sawyer: "It's not supposed to make any sense. Lighten up, Doctor Depresso."

Hurley: "Isn't that Doctor Demento?"

Boone: "It could have been Doctor Espresso."

The conversation degenerates as the women continue to dance, spinning and kicking wildly. Eventually the computer alarm starts beeping.

Eko: "What does that mean?"

Shannon: "It means that it's your turn to entertain us."

Shannon has spoken so authoritatively that no one questions her. Charlie staggers off into the computer room where Claire, Rose, and Bernard are by the computer.

Charlie: "Hey Claire, I think it's your turn to enjoy the show."

Claire: "I think you better let Rose and Bernard baby sit Aaron."

Charlie: "I second the motion."

Charlie meanders over to a couch and passes out.

Rose: "Do you think we would have behaved like that if we had met when we were younger?"

Bernard: "Is this one of those questions that it's better not to answer?"

Rose: "Probably. I think we should look at it like for this night we are the designated button pushers, like this is the island's version of designated drivers."

Bernard: "Drivers. Drives. Golf drives. We need to do something to shake things up. How about we go golfing tomorrow?"

Rose: "What a charming idea for a date."

Claire enters the large room where the festivities are taking place. She takes a seat on the couch besides the other women.

Claire: "How's it going?"

Shannon: "I'm pretty sure it's going well. Everyone's having a blast, but not remembering anything."

The men, except for Hurley who is off in a corner with the phonograph, attempt to form a chorus line. They do a much worse job than the women did. Desmond suddenly notices that apart from Locke in his boarskin vest, he is the only man with a shirt, the white one with a Dharpa logo on it. Wishing to fit in, he tries to take it off, but thanks to his state of inebriation is too uncoordinated to do so. He struggles for several seconds, and then in a fit of machismo grasps the collar with both hands and tears the shirt off. There are many squeals of delight, and Desmond somehow manages to toss it the ripped shirt to Claire.

Desmond: "You use this material for nappies, right?"

Claire: "Why, yes, thank you, but I thought you were saving that shirt for emergencies."

Kate: "This occasion seems to be as much an emergency as we'll ever get."

Sun: "I just thought of something. What if somebody else gets pregnant on this island? There won't be enough material for another baby's diapers."

Ana-Lucia: "Sounds like a good idea not to get pregnant on this island."

Libby: "I agree, this place is definitely sub-optimal for that."

Cindy: "Would anybody do something to get pregnant here? Of course Claire was already pregnant, so she had an excuse for delivering on the island."

Sun: "Well, since Jin and I got back together, we, uh … you know, we are married and, uh … the beach can be a romantic place and …"

Shannon: "Maybe you shouldn't finish that sentence. Here's an abrupt change of topic. These guys are terrible dancers. I was thinking of eventually opening my own dance school in the real world. I could start one up here."

Sun: "Thank you for changing the subject, but now that I'm thinking about it, I need to find a pregnancy test. I wonder if there's one in this hatch."

Kate: "You must have had too much to drink. Remember if you can't find something that can be found, it's most likely in Sawyer's stash."

Sun slaps her forehead. "D'oh!"

Shannon: "That's from another wrong show."

Cindy: "Isn't Boone cute?"

Shannon: "Now you're being random."

Cindy: "I wasn't getting enough attention, so I went for it."

Libby: "Good idea."

The party continues until the computer beeping goes off again. After Rose and Bernard silence the alarm, the rest acts like it is a snooze button on an alarm clock, and pass out.

* * *

Morning comes to the jungle. Walt, Emma, and Zach wake up.

Walt: "Wow, this feels real strange."

Emma: "What does?"

Walt: "Waking up and being able to move. I can't remember the last time I woke up and wasn't tied up or locked in a cage or something."

Emma: "Maybe things are going to turn out a lot better for you in the future."

Zach: "Ha! This is Walt; I wouldn't bet on that."

The children make their way towards the Swan Station. In the middle of the day they cross the blue line painted across the island, but there is no incident.

* * *

Ethan and Tom reach Othersville, and locate Ben, Juliet, Bea, and Mikhail.

Ethan: "Wow, this places looks like a dump."

Ben: "That can happen when you're hit by an earthquake."

Tom: "So we have to spend the next few months rebuilding this place?"

Ben: "Most of you. I have to get my back tumor operated, and the only place that can be done now is the Staff. Ha, I got it right that time, I didn't say the Flame."

Bea: "There, good thing the tumor isn't in Ben's brain."

Ben: "Anyway, Juliet has a plan to get Jack Shepherd over there to operate on me, and I want her and you, Ethan, to assist."

Ethan: "Then why didn't you have me go directly to the Swan from the Oceanics' beach camp?"

Ben: "Because the writer wasn't thinking far enough ahead."

Mikhail: "So what is the plan?"

Juliet: "I'm going to the Oceanics' camp alone, carrying a white flag of surrender. Then I'll use my charms to convince Jack to operate on Ben."

Mikhail: "That sounds like an excellent plan. I can't imagine anything going wrong with that."

Tom: "Me neither."

Bea: "I can't think of anything either."

Ben: "Then it's settled. Ethan, come with me to the Staff. Juliet, see you at the Staff in no more than two days."

Juliet proceeds to pack a large pack with clothes, food, water, a map, and a piece of white cloth to be used as the flag of surrender. As part of her plan, she craftily puts on a bright blue thong bikini on under her regular Others' clothes.

Ben and Ethan fill similar packs and head for the Staff.

* * *

The passengers wake up sprawled all over the Swan Station, with most of them having hangovers.

Desmond: "Oh, me aching head. Fortunately there's a good supply of aspirin here."

A good amount of the good supply of aspirin is consumed.

Charlie: "That was a great party last night, wasn't it?"

Boone: "I think so. I don't really remember it. Do you?"

Charlie: "I don't remember a thing. Does anyone?"

Everyone else present except Rose and Bernard: "No."

Ana-Lucia: "Does anyone know what happened to my clothes? It looks like all I've got left is a black bikini top and short shorts."

Eko: "That looks absolutely ravishing on you, dear. I mean, uh …"

Shannon, giggling. "Too late. But Eko is right; I think black is your color."

Ana-Lucia: "Well, my color is definitely not pink. That's perfect for you."

Shannon: "Do you mean something by that?"

Sayid steps in between. "Ladies, we're all friends here. You each look great in your own color."

Ana-Lucia and Shannon calm down, with Shannon draping her arms over Sayid's shoulders and dragging him away.

Desmond: "I seem to have lost my shirt as well. I sure hope I had a good time."

Claire: "This looks like what's left of it. It's in the contributions for scraps of material for Aaron's diapers."

Charlie: "Where is Aaron?"

Claire's face goes blank. Then she realizes, "I must have left him with Rose and Bernard."

Claire rushes in to the computer room to find her baby safe. "Thanks for taking care of him. We sure don't need extra drama right now."

Rose: "Here you go." Rose hands Aaron to Claire.

Bernard: "Good thing you didn't drink like that while you were pregnant."

Claire: "I don't think I'm ever going to drink like that again."

Claire goes back into the large room.

Jack: "I need to give some orders. We should go back to the beach and get some fresh air."

Hurley: "But we need some people on button pushing duty. Who hasn't done that for a while? Let's see … Eko and Ana-Lucia. They've been building the church all this time."

Eko: "Fair enough."

Ana-Lucia: "And don't you usually have a backup?"

Hurley: "Yes, I think it's Michael's turn, and … who are you teamed up with?"

Michael: "I was teamed up with Kate, but it looks like you made new teams since I was gone."

Hurley: "That's right. And Desmond was left with Emma and Zach. Since they're not back yet with Walt, you should be Desmond's partner."

Michael: "That's cool. Though I would like to get some air. I overdid it on the brewskis."

Desmond: "Go ahead. And the kids should be coming back today; maybe you'll see them out there."

Most of the group goes back to the beach, leaving Eko, Ana-Lucia, and Desmond in the hatch. Michael walks around outside, trying to clear his head, but he had more to drink than everyone else so it takes a long time.

* * *

Walt, Emma, and Zach are getting close to the Swan Station when they hear barking.

Walt: "VINCENT!"

Vincent comes bounding out into the open and pounces on Walt knocking him down and pinning him to the ground. Vincent licks Walt's face as Walt flails his arms and legs, unable to stop the tickling.

Walt: "HA HA HA Stop, it Vincent!"

Emma and Zach make no move to help.

Emma: "What a cute doggie. Can we play with him?"

Walt: "Ha ha of course."

Zach pets Vincent, and Vincent gets distracted, and then leaps onto Zach. In a second Zach is pinned to the ground, and Walt is grateful to have a breather.

Walt: "Good boy, Vincent."

Emma: "Yes, good dog."

Zach: "Ha ha ha help how do you get him off me ha ha?"

Walt: "You wait until he gets tired."

Emma and Walt laugh at Zach's expense. After a few minutes, Emma can't resist petting Vincent, but alertly jumps out of the way when Vincent lunges at her. Vincent chases her around a tree a few times, and then Walt intercedes.

Walt: "Actually, we better find my Dad. He must be worried about me, and will be glad to see me. Vincent, do you know where Dad is?"

Vincent barks and trots off.

Emma: "Wow, that's great; your dog understands you."

Walt coughs. "Not always. About a week after we got here he was supposed to guard my clothes while I was washing, and he ran off with them."

Emma: "So that's how you lost your regular clothes?" She looks ahead to Vincent, and yells, "Good boy, Vincent!"

Zach snorts. Walt hits Emma lightly in the arm. She hits him back.

Walt: "And later when John tied me to a tree, I asked Vincent to give me a knife John planted nearby so I could cut myself loose, and Vincent ran off with that."

Emma: "I wish I could have seen that. Sorry I missed it."

Walt hits Emma playfully, and gets hit back.

Zach: "So your dog isn't very helpful?"

Walt: "Actually, everything worked out for the best. I used to be whiny, obnoxious, ungrateful, and have an attitude problem in general, but now I'm considerate, more confident, and a lot tougher."

Vincent suddenly runs ahead, and finds Michael, who is staggering around but mostly recovered from his hangover.

Michael: "Vincent? What do you want?"

Vincent barks and runs in circles around Michael until Walt comes into view.

Michael sobers up quickly. "WAAAAALLLLLLLT!"

Walt jumps into Michael's arms, and Michael hugs Walt hard, nearly breaking several ribs.

Michael: "Oh Walt, I'm so sorry I abandoned you like that. I meant to come rescue you, but I couldn't betray our friends in the end. Can you ever forgive me?"

Walt catches his breath after being released by Michael. "There's nothing you need to be forgiven for. You did the right thing. Now that I'm thinking clearly, I would have been upset at you if you had betrayed everyone."

Michael: "That's very big of you. But … did you have to stay tied down on that rack all that time? I felt so bad for you."

Walt: "Nah, they let me loose during the day, and only kept me tied down at night. Except for most of yesterday. It was pretty bad, but I'm okay now."

Michael notices Emma and Zach coming up from behind.

Michael: "Thank you so much for getting Walt back."

Zach: "It was actually fun and exciting."

Emma: "Yes. Too bad we didn't find Walt until after he got tickled for hours and lost his mind."

Michael: "Lost his mind? What do you mean?"

Emma: "We found him tied to that table and laughing incoherently. But after we got him out of there, there was a flash of light, Walt got his mind back, and everything was back to normal."

Zach: "Well, normal for Walt, anyway."

Michael: "Oh, good. Hey, you must be hungry. Or least there's better food in the hatch. Come on Walt, I have to show you this."

They go to the hatch.

Walt: "How do you get inside?"

Michael: "Why don't you ring the doorbell?"

Walt: "Doorbell? Oh, here it is."

Walt rings the doorbell, and gets squirted in the face with seltzer water. Michael, Emma, and Zach fall to the ground rolling in laughter.

After a minute, Michael gets to his feet. "I've been waiting to do that ever since Chapter 23!"


	50. Everybody Loves a Happy Couple

Michael takes the children inside the hatch.

Walt: "Wow, this place is awesome!"

Michael: "The accommodations are a lot nicer than what you've been used to. And there are lots of games, and books, and exercise equipment, and food."

Zach: "Emma and I didn't get to play any games because John was training us."

Emma: "Yes, but we'll have a chance for some fun now. We deserve it."

Michael: "Good, but first let's get something good to eat."

They all make sandwiches for lunch. When they are done eating, Michael takes Walt into the computer room.

Michael: "Walt, I'd like you to meet Desmond. He's the one who sometimes has visions that always seem to come true."

Desmond and Walt shake hands.

Desmond: "Glad to meet you Walt. So I understand we have something in common – sometimes strange things happen involving us. I recognize you from one of my visions."

Walt: "That's what Emma and Zach said. My strange things are usually crazy weather or birds pooping on me, and it usually happens when I'm tied up and angry."

Just then the beeping alarm goes off.

Desmond: "Time to enter the numbers. They are …"

Walt: "I know." Walt pushes the "4", then the space bar, and enters "8", "15", "16", "23", and "42" similarly.

Desmond: "You have to push the button marked 'execute' at the end."

Walt: "Oh." Walt pushes the "execute" button, and the beeping stops.

Desmond: "How do you know about the numbers?"

Walt: "Those are the numbers that Hurley used to freak out over."

Desmond: "Well, in any case you've just saved the world."

Walt: "That's what those Others were saying. That when I'm under enough stress I can change the numbers in some equation, and that delays the end of mankind somehow."

Michael: "Now you can have a shift at entering the numbers like everyone else."

Walt: "That's cool."

Eko and Ana-Lucia hear the conversation from the bedroom and come out to investigate. Emma and Zach are excited to see them, and rush up to Ana-Lucia and hug.

Ana-Lucia: "Emma! Zach! It's so good to see you back safe. I'm not forgetting my promise to get you home to your mother."

Emma: "Of course we're all right. And thanks for being concerned about us."

Zach: "What happened to your top? I mean … it looks great."

Ana-Lucia: "Uh, there was a little accident at a party last night, no big deal."

While this is going on, Eko approaches Walt.

Eko: "Hello Walt. I must apologize for believing that you were an extraterrestrial alien and treating you so rudely. I must beg your forgiveness."

Walt: "Really? Okay, sure, I forgive you. I can see how the confusion started, and that Libby had gone without her medication for a long time."

Eko: "Bless you my child. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you."

Walt: "You don't have to do anything. How about a high-five?"

Walt jumps up and slaps Eko's palm.

Eko smiles, and then thinks. "Have you been baptized?"

Walt: "No, my mom and stepdad didn't go for that kind of thing."

Eko: "Then I must baptize you immediately. Michael, is that all right?"

Michael: "Of course. What about button-pushing duty?"

Ana-Lucia: "Desmond and I can handle that. You go and have a good time."

Emma: "I want to come."

Zach: "Me too."ff

Walt: "Fine. Let's go."

Eko, Michael, Walt, Emma, and Zach exit the Swan Station and go to the pond where Eko baptized Claire and Aaron a few weeks before. Eko wades in until the water comes to his waist. Walt hesitates, and then wades in after, the water coming up to his chest.

Eko: "Are you ready?"

Walt: "I guess so."

Eko: "Then Walter Lloyd, I baptize you in the name of the Father,"

Eko seizes Walt's head, and dunks it backwards, holding it under the water surface for five seconds. Then he pulls Walt back up, who is spluttering.

Eko: "And of the Son,"

The process is repeated, but this time Walt is prepared.

Eko: "And of the Holy Spirit."

Walt goes under for the third time, and is grinning when he comes up.

Eko: "Welcome to the Kingdom of God."

Walt: "That was neat."

From the shore, Zach is excited. "Hey, Father Eko, can you baptize me?"

Emma: "We've already been … no wait, yes, and me too?"

Eko: "You haven't been baptized? Certainly. Come here."

Walt wades back to shore, and splashes Emma and Zach on the way. They splash him back. The siblings reach Eko, with the water coming to Emma's shoulders and Zach's neck. Eko places one hand on each of their heads, and dunks them three times like he did for Walt.

Zach: "That was awesome!"

Emma: "That was fun!"

Eko: "It's supposed to be a serious, deeply moving experience."

Zach: "Yeah, that too."

Emma: "We appreciate you, Father Eko."

Eko: "It is time to go."

They wade back out, but Emma and Zach splash Walt pretty good when they get close to the edge of the pond.

Michael: "My mother made sure I was baptized young. Now let's meet everyone else and show them you're all right. They should be on the beach."

They walk to the beach, where everyone is pretty much recovered from the hangovers from the wild parties the previous night.

Michael: "Hey everybody, the kids are all back safe and sound."

Sawyer: "Why does the return of the Three Amigos deserve an announcement?"

Walt, to Emma and Zach: "That's how Sawyer is. He has to keep up his tough guy impression. If he gives you nicknames that means he likes you."

Emma: "He already called us Hansel and Gretel."

Walt: "Oh good. He's called me lots of things, too many to repeat here. Most were in Chapter 12."

Hurley realizes he should be proactive. "Libby, brace yourself. Walt is back, and he is not an alien. Do you understand that?"

Libby takes a deep breath. "Yes, I'm fine." She sees Walt from a distance, and controls herself. "Yes, I'm all right now. Walt is not an alien. He's just a normal kid."

Hurley: "I didn't mean that; Walt is definitely not normal. But he is human."

Jack realizes he has a chance to shine. He rushes over. "I have to examine all of you children. Walt first, since he was gone the longest."

Walt: "I'm fine now."

Jack: "You're not the one with the medical degree. I'll be the judge of that."

Jack gives Walt a thorough physical examination.

Jack: "I have to admit, you're in even better shape than the last time I saw. You've grown more, and are stronger, faster, and have better reflexes. It's hard to believe, but all those experiences you've had lately appear to have been very beneficial. But I don't recommend repeating any of those deliberately."

Walt: "I told you I was fine. And it will be nice to chill for a while."

Jack examines Emma next.

Jack: "I'd say you are perfectly healthy. Looks like the jungle air has been good for you."

Emma: "I didn't notice, but I guess you're right."

Jack: "Did you have any problems with sunburn? Suddenly exposing so much skin to the strong sun constantly for several days could be harmful."

Emma: "No, never noticed anything. But it looks like everyone here tans nicely."

Jack: "Yes, it does. Well, have a nice day."

It is Zach's turn to be examined. Jack is getting frustrated at not having to treat anyone.

Jack: "You are in great shape too. It's amazing how you can run around the jungle for so many days, and nothing happens to you. You think you'd get scratched up a bit."

Zach: "I'm sure I did, but cuts heal real fast here. Is everything okay with you? You sound … disappointed."

Jack: "It's just that I have all these great medical skills, but I haven't had a chance to show them off in a long time. It's like the island is a better healer than I am."

Zach: "Do you want me to get injured?"

Jack splutters. "No, of course not. I need to put things in a different way. Like … I'm doing a great job at preventive medicine."

Zach: "Sounds good. Can I go play now? Vincent is a great dog."

Jack: "Sure, go ahead."

The kids run off to play with Vincent along the beach.

* * *

Everyone mills around for a while, when an idea strikes Claire.

Claire: "Since everybody's here, why don't we have the wedding now before anything else crazy happens?"

Charlie: "That sounds perfect to me."

Charlie finds Eko. "Father Eko, can you marry Claire and me now? As soon as everyone can get to the church?"

Eko: "Yes, I can perform the ceremony today. Gather everyone at the church. But, I want Ana-Lucia to be there, and she's in the hatch now."

Charlie: "No problem, someone can go get her."

Claire: "And I'd like Desmond to attend, but … we need someone to push the buttons. I don't want to disinvite anyone."

Hurley: "I have the perfect solution. Those people that are always ignored can push the computer buttons during the ceremony."

Eko: "What people? Are there more I haven't met?"

Hurley: "There's Seth, the airplane pilot, who Jack, Kate, and Charlie found in the cockpit in a tree, and may have stopped him from betting killed by the smoke monster. And Joanna, the young woman who Boone saved from drowning the first week. They're like totally minor characters who don't get involved in any of the cool activities."

Eko: "Blessed are the meek; they shall inherit the earth. And they sometimes provide a useful plot contrivance."

Charlie: "Great. Let's get this going, then. What do we still need?"

Claire: "Rings might be nice."

Sayid: "I think we could use some wire from the tool supplies in the hatch."

Charlie: "I wish I could give you a ring with a diamond setting."

Claire: "Don't worry about it; it's not as if you could dig diamonds up on the beach. Wedding bands will be fine for now."

Sun: "I can bake a wedding cake for the reception. The ingredients must be at the hatch, also."

Hurley: "Since I'm the best man, it's my responsibility to make sure everything goes smoothly. What else do we need? How about a maid of honor?"

Claire: "Whoops. I guess I hadn't thought about that."

Hurley: "Who are you closest to here?"

Claire: "I guess someone who's been here with our group since we first crashed. I couldn't single anyone out. Does a maid of honor have to be unmarried?"

The unmarried original fuselage passengers, Kate and Shannon, look at each other.

Kate: "You can have the honor, Shannon."

Shannon: "That's very gracious of you, Kate. But you should have an important part … at least a bridesmaid."

Claire: "That sounds great. Okay with you, Kate?"

Kate thinks, _Do not draw any attention to my relationships in the past that didn't work out._ "I'd be delighted to do it."

Claire: "Great! Now Charlie, doesn't that mean you need some groomsmen?"

Charlie: "I guess so. Yes, there should be a couple ushers."

Boone: "Ooh, pick me, pick me! I have lots of experience planning weddings for my mother's wedding business."

Shannon: "Boone would make a fine usher. He's very good at ushing."

Charlie looks around at the men.

Sawyer: "Weddings really ain't my sort of thing. I'm fine with watching."

Sayid: "Boone is fine, and it should be Charlie's choice."

Jack: "I think I'm too important not to be a part of the ceremony."

Claire gets an idea, and whispers to Charlie: "Jack treats me like a little sister so much. I think he should give me away so that he doesn't feel so responsible for me. That will be your job."

Charlie whispers back: "That's a good idea." Then he announces out loud, "Jack, we'd like you to give the bride away."

Jack is touched. "Oh wow, … thank you. I promise I'll do a good job."

Charlie: "And Boone, I'll be happy to have you as a groomsman. I think there should be another one or two. Who's meant the most to me …?"

Charlie looks at Locke, and thinks about how John tried to help with Charlie's drug problem.

Locke: "Aww, let the younger people be in on this."

Charlie: "I got it. I want those who helped rescue me from the cave. Michael, you are an inspiration for me. I want to be as terrific a father to Aaron as you are to Walt."

Michael is overcome with emotion. "Why, thank you, I'd be honored."

Jin: "Isn't the term 'stepfather'?"

Charlie: "For now, but I want to adopt him officially."

Michael: "That's wonderful."

Charlie: "And you know who else I want to be there? That polar bear that pulled those rocks loose from the cave entrance, whatshisname … Gus?"

Hurley: "Dude, the polar bear can't be a groomsman. He's a she, and we're calling her Gussie."

Jin: "Then could Gussie be a bridesmaid?"

Charlie: "That's a great idea. But how can we get Gussie to come?"

Michael: "I'll ask Vincent. This is the sort of thing we seem to be able to communicate on."

Charlie: "Thanks. Let me tell Claire."

Charlie goes over to Claire. "Hey Claire, I just got Boone and Michael as groomsmen, and wanted the polar bear for saving my life by pulling those rocks loose from the cave-in, but forgot it was female. How about making her a bridesmaid?"

Claire recoils, and then thinks. "Well, I've got Kate as a bridesmaid, so I guess it will balance things out if it means that much to you."

Charlie: "Thanks Love, you're the greatest. Now is there anything else we need?"

Claire: "A ring bearer. I hope Walt can handle that."

Charlie: "I'm sure he can."

Claire: "And also a flower girl. That will have to be Emma."

Charlie: "Sounds great."

Charlie announces to the crowd, "I think everything is settled. Can anyone else think of something?"

Kate: "Where're Rose and Bernard?"

Hurley: "They're playing golf, but should be back soon."

Cindy: "It's fine that somebody else is getting left out of all the plans."

Boone: "I'm sorry we sort of ignored you. But I'll be delighted to ush you at the wedding."


	51. We Do

The wedding plans are close to complete.

Charlie: "When do you want the ceremony?"

Claire: "I think four p. m. would be good."

Hurley: "Did you pick one of the numbers on purpose?"

Claire: "Yes."

Hurley: "What?"

Claire: "Just kidding. That should be enough time to get everyone assembled, and then have a reception."

Hurley: "Where will the reception be?"

Claire: "I figured the hatch, where all the food is."

Hurley: "That makes sense."

Michael goes to where the children are playing with Vincent.

Michael: "Hey kids, I've got a job for Vincent. We went Gussie the Polar Bear in the wedding party, and Vincent's been the one who can find him. Vincent, can you get Gussie and bring her to the church?"

Vincent barks and nods in understanding, and then races off into the jungle.

Zach: "Wow, there really is a polar bear on this island?"

Walt: "I wasn't lying when I told you there was."

Emma: "Did you actually see it?"

Walt: "Yeah. I was looking for Vincent, and ran into Gussie instead. I was scared, and she chased me."

Zach: "What did you do?"

Walt: "I climbed a tree, duh. And waited until she went away."

Michael: "Gussie and Vincent became good friends. And later we got Gussie to pull some boulders loose from a cave-in at the entrance of a cave Charlie was trapped in. That's why he wanted Gussie at the wedding."

Emma: "That makes sense. It will be cool to see a real polar bear, and not in a zoo."

Zach: "Why is there a polar bear on a tropical island?"

There is some silence. The others look at Walt as if he is supposed to know everything.

Walt: "Sorry, I'm sure Ben knows, but I didn't think to ask him while I was in their village. I'd guess that since they did experiments on me, they could have been doing some experiments on her too, maybe getting her used to hot weather."

Emma: "That sounds as logical as anything here."

Michael: "Well, it's time to get going. Walt, you've been selected as the ring bearer, and Emma, you're the flower girl."

Zach snickers. "I'm sure they'll as nice a couple as Claire and Charlie. I can't wait to watch."

* * *

Most of the group goes to the hatch to make the wedding preparations. Desmond and Ana-Lucia are on button pushing duty.

Hurley: "Hey Desmond. Claire and Charlie decided to get married today. The service will be at Eko's church at four p. m."

Desmond: "That's wonderful – but I'll still be on button duty."

Hurley: "No problem – Joanna and Frank will be doing that."

Desmond: "Who?"

Hurley: "Those two who are always in the background and never do anything interesting. Joanna almost drowned the first week, but was saved by Boone. And Frank was the pilot, who might have had a bad encounter with the monster when Jack, Kate, and Charlie found him in the cockpit, but cooler heads prevailed and they stayed inside until the clanking noise went away."

Desmond: "Sounds good."

Sayid: "We need some wedding rings, so I figured I'd make something out of some wires or nuts down here."

Desmond: "Help yourself."

Sayid goes to the table where he had been working on the damaged radio from Desmond's sailboat. He wraps a wire a few times around a knuckle to get the size of the ring right, and attaches a tiny light bulb to serve as a crystal. He admires what will Claire's wedding ring, at least temporarily, and then wraps another piece of wire around a finger to make a wedding band for Charlie. Sayid gets Hurley's attention.

Sayid: "Here Mr. Best Man, here are the rings."

Hurley: "Thanks, dude. I'll give them to the ring bearer just before the ceremony starts."

With some time before the ceremony, Sayid goes back to work on the radio equipment. He tries some new combinations of wires, resistors, diodes, and transistors, and gets a signal.

Sayid: "Hey everyone, I think I fixed the radio."

Jack: "Do you mean we can be rescued now?"

Sayid: "Not so fast. There were problems before when I tried to communicate with our plane's radio. I have to try a few things."

Sayid fiddles around with his devices, and comes to a conclusion.

Sayid: "This works as a transceiver, but there's something blocking outgoing messages. It will take some time to locate it."

Desmond: "Would it help to put it back on the sailboat?"

Sayid: "Probably. Actually, I can make a two-way communication device out of this. We can keep one piece here and another on the boat."

Sayid and Desmond work on making the communication device.

* * *

In the kitchen, Sun asks: "Anyone want to help with the wedding cake?"

Boone: "I've supervised the making of cakes in my mother's wedding business."

Emma: "Ooh, I want to help. Some day it's going to be my turn."

Sun: "Good, that will be fine. You two can bring me the ingredients as I ask for them."

The cake baking goes well.

* * *

Claire puts Aaron, who has fallen asleep after being carried by his mother most of the day, on a bed, but Claire getting anxious. "There's so much to do. What do we still need – I know: flowers!"

Shannon: "I don't remember seeing flowers around on this island."

Locke: "I know where some are, thanks to my wandering around all the time."

Claire: "Good. Can you please pick some? But flowers for a wedding need a woman's touch. You need to take someone with you."

Locke: "As the bride wishes. Shannon, do you want to come?"

Shannon: "I'm the maid of honor, so I get to delegate jobs like this. Who would be good for this … I think Ana-Lucia would be."

Shannon finds Ana-Lucia. "Ana-Lucia, could you please pick some flowers with John for the wedding?"

Ana-Lucia is surprised at the request. "You want me to pick flowers?  
That's not the sort of thing I usually do."

Shannon: "But would you anyway?"

Ana-Lucia sniffles. "Nobody's ever asked me to pick flowers before. But if you think I'd be good at it … I'm touched. I'll do it."

Ana-Lucia almost breaks down due to emotion. Then she and Locke go outside to where Locke has found flowers on his previous explorations.

* * *

Hurley checks the time, and announces, "Hey dudes, it's time to get to the wedding."

Jin: "I remember when Sun and I got married, there was a rehearsal first. Are we going to have one?"

Sawyer: "Rehearsals are boring. Let's just get on with it."

Desmond: "Aye, hold on a minute, I just remembered I have the music here somewhere."

Desmond finds a record with Sousa's wedding march. Hurley: "That's quite a collection of music you got here."

Desmond: "This stuff was all here when I got here. The previous occupants must have had a wide variety of musical tastes."

Desmond carries the record and old phonograph outside.

Claire collects Aaron, and looks around.

Rose: "I can take care of Aaron during the ceremony."

Claire: "Thank you so much. Please have a seat in the front row."

Rose: "Thank you. Bernard and I will be delighted."

Claire: "Actually, I don't think there're enough people to fill up even two rows of seats, but the thought is sincere."

* * *

Michael looks for Walt and Zach, and eventually finds them in the gym, lifting weights. There are assorted barbells and dumbbells, and a universal machine along with some other equipment.

Michael: "Boys, do you really think that's the best use of your time?"

Walt: "Come on, Dad. I need bigger muscles. If I was stronger I could have gotten out of more of those rope ties, or broken loose before that pendulum-feather thing tickled me."

Zach: "And Emma keeps laughing at me, saying I'm too skinny. I want bigger muscles, too."

Michael: "Those are convincing arguments. You have to make sure, though, that you don't overdo it at your age."

Walt: "We won't … hey, if you know so much about this, can you show us what to do?"

Michael: "That's … that's a great idea. We need to spend more time together, and this will be a great father-son activity."

Zach: "What about me? My father isn't exactly around here."

Michael: "Of course you can join us. It's obvious that you're treating Walt like a big brother – acting like him, dressing like him, wanting to do the same things."

Zach: "Thanks, Mr. Dawson."

Michael: "You're welcome. But it's time to go to the wedding. Walt, remember you've got an important job, so we don't want to be late."

The guys leave the gym to go to the church.

* * *

Vincent finds Gussie and barks excitedly about the wedding invitation. The polar bear is touched that she will be a bridesmaid and accepts gratefully. They rush to the church.

* * *

Locke and Ana-Lucia arrive at the church with a beautiful collection of pansies, lilacs, sunflowers, and daffodils. They give many of them to the flower girl, Emma, to distribute all over the place.

Sun: "I didn't know all those flowers were native to this part of the world."

Locke: "Well, polar bears aren't, so there's no telling what might grow here."

* * *

Everyone arrives and takes their places. Boone and Michael serve as ushers and show the guests to their seats. Eko takes his place at the altar and the ceremony begins. Desmond turns on the phonograph, running on a battery backup, and plays the wedding march.

Emma and Walt walk down the aisle, Emma giggling as she tosses flowers around. Walt is carrying the wedding rings on a pillow. When they get to the front, they don't know what to do, so Eko motions for them to sit down in the front row. As they do, Emma sticks a flower in Walt's hair. As Walt pulls it loose, he drops the rings on the floor. There is a collective groan as Walt scrambles to retrieve them.

Next, Shannon and Hurley walk down the aisle arm in arm. When they get to the front, Hurley takes the rings from Walt before something else stupid happens. They are followed by Kate and Boone, who then stand beside Shannon and Hurley, respectively. Then come Gussie and Michael.

Michael wonders how he wound up with the polar bear. _Does this mean I have to dance with her at the reception?_ Gussie is well behaved, and takes her place alongside Kate as Michael moves next to Boone.

Next in the procession are Jack and Claire. For some reason Jack has trouble letting go of Claire, and she eventually yanks her arm away. Finally Charlie comes down, with an irrepressible smile on his face. Desmond turns off the phonograph.

Eko: "I have to do this from memory, and it's been a while, so I may get a word or two wrong here or there. Please bear with me.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God, to join this man and this woman in the bondage of holy alimony."

Rose whispers: "You got a couple words wrong there."

Eko: "What?"

Rose: " 'Bonds,' and 'matrimony'."

Eko: "Oops, thank you. In the bonds of holy matrimony. Oh, why don't we get on with it. Any objections?"

There is silence.

Eko: "Then do you, … do I ask the bride or groom first?"

Rose: "It's usually the groom."

Eko: "Very well. Do you, Charles Pace …"

Eko is interrupted by widespread giggling at the mention of Charlie's proper first name. _I didn't know John could giggle._ Disconcerted, Eko forges on.

"… take Claire Littleton to be your awfully wedded wife – to live together after God's ornaments – in the holy state of acrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her and cherish her, in fickleness and in stealth, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in madness and in joy, forsaking all others, keeping yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?"

Rose whispers again: "Father Eko, there are some more wrong words …"

Charlie looks at Eko funny. "Can you repeat the question?"

Eko: "You know what I mean. Do you take Claire with all the right words in that paragraph?"

Charlie: "I do."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Eko: "And do you, Claire Littleton, take Charles Pace …"

There is much more giggling, and Eko is afraid he will mess up his lines again. He comes up with a practical solution.

Eko: "Same question with the names reversed."

Claire: "I do."

Eko: "Good. May we have the rings?"

Hurley gives the makeshift wedding rings to Eko: "Here you go."

Eko gives the rings to Claire and Charlie and they place them on each other's fingers.

Eko: "Now by the power invested in me by a piece of paper signed by my brother Yemi, … oh crud, I forgot something important. If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

The sound of everyone holding their breath is evident.

Jack: "Why is everyone looking at me?"

Sawyer: "Well Doc, you did seem reluctant to give the bride away."

Jack: "That's nonsense! And I'm still her doctor. Take her away!"

Eko: "Good. Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may briss the kide … auugh! I mean, kiss the bride."

Charlie and Claire kiss for an extended period of time.

Claire: "Charlie, I love you. And that was some kiss. I bet you could hold your breath underwater for quite some time."

Charlie: "I love you, Claire. And what you just said sounds like you were foreshadowing something."

There is a pause in the action, which is broken by an unexpected source.

Cindy: "We need to take pictures."

Libby: "Do we have a camera?"

Cindy: "I found a digital camera in the hatch while everyone was ignoring me."

Bernard: "You're not the only one who gets ignored a lot."

Cindy: "Sometimes I wonder if I would get more attention if I had been kidnapped by those Others."

Boone: "Don't say that. I got caught up in the wedding. I'll try to pay more attention to you."

Libby: "Let's take the pictures before it gets dark."

Cindy takes pictures of the newlywed couple and every combination of members of the wedding party. Then Hurley and Michael take more pictures of the guests so no one is left out.

Michael: "Tell you what, I'll paint a wedding portrait based on these photos."

Claire: "That's so thoughtful of you."

Libby shakes at the mention of paint.

Hurley: "What's wrong?"

Libby collects herself. "Nothing. It's just that the last time I saw paint, it formed that Dharpa symbol and the words "Bad boy" on Walt, and … I'm okay, he is not an alien. I am not having a relapse."

Hurley: "Glad to hear it." _She's going to have a relapse soon if Sun's plants don't grow fast enough to make more medicine._

Hurley remembers more of his duties as best man. "Great job, everybody! Time to go to the reception in the hatch!"

Everybody heads for the Swan Station. Along the way,

Charlie: "I just thought of something. Where will we go on our honeymoon?"

Desmond: "We could clear out the hatch for you."

Charlie: "But then we'd have to wake up every 104 to 108 minutes to push the buttons. That doesn't sound very romantic."

Michael: "How about the beach then? I haven't built anything in a long time. We could make a nice large tent for you."

Claire: "Thank you, that's a nice offer. But I wouldn't want to keep everyone else away from the beach for a week or two."

Shannon: "How about a spot way up or down the beach?"

Charlie: "Maybe … but would that be safe?"

Locke: "It should be. As long as you stay on our side of the blue line that those Others painted across the island."

Desmond: "I know! You can have my sailboat for your honeymoon. Anchor it near a beach if you want to make landfall."

Claire: "Why Desmond, that's a wonderful idea, and so generous! Thank you so much!"

Charlie: "I think we have a winning suggestion. Thanks, brother."

Desmond: "Isn't that my line?"

Charlie: "Does it matter? Oh, there's one more thing. What are we going to do about Aaron?"

Claire: "You mean you don't want him coming with us?"

Charlie: "Uh … where I come from it's not traditional to bring children on the honeymoon. Or anyone else for that matter."

Claire: "I guess you're right. I hadn't thought about that."

Kate: "I can take care of Aaron. I'd like very much to have some responsibility."

Claire: "Do you have any experience in taking care of babies?"

Kate: "Umm, no. But I have to start sometime."

Charlie: "That makes sense. Don't worry; it's not as if Kate could run away somewhere with him."

Kate: "Right. And I will have a lot of support. Our great Doctor Jack will be here, and Michael had experience taking care of Walt when he was a baby, and we can see how that turned out so well. And Sawyer's voice will calm Aaron if necessary."

Sawyer: "How did I get involved with the radish-head?"

Boone: "I think you used some other vegetable as a nickname before."

Shannon: "Boone, don't you realize Sawyer is trying hard not to repeat nicknames? It must be getting hard after all this times we've spent on this island."

Sawyer: "Not-so-dumb Blonde is right. Nice going."

Kate: "So that means you'll sing to Aaron if you have to? You could consider that a wedding present."

Sawyer: "I think I'd rather give them something from my stash."

Kate smiles. "I know you don't mean that. Claire, it's all settled."

Claire: "Thank you everybody."

They all arrive at the hatch to begin the wedding reception.


	52. Not Quite Immaculate Reception

Everyone arrives at the Swan Station for Claire and Charlie's wedding reception. A room between the kitchen and computer room is set up with a few large tables. Since Sun did a lot of the preparations and Jin had experience working in a hotel before they were married, they arrange the place settings and serve the food. At one table is the wedding party, with Claire, Charlie, Hurley, Shannon, Boone, Kate, Michael, and Gussie. At another are Sawyer, Jack, Locke, Sun, Jin, Sayid and Libby. At a third are and Rose, Bernard, Ana-Lucia, Eko, Desmond, and Cindy. Then there is the children's table with Walt, Emma, Zach, Aaron, and Vincent. The animals eat their dinner with exceptional etiquette.

When the main meal is finished, Boone nudges Hurley.

Boone: "Hurley, dude, as best man you have to make a toast."

Hurley: "I do? I stink at making speeches."

Boone: "It's not a speech. Just say what you feel about Claire and Charlie, and wish them well."

Michael: "Yeah, come on. Everybody loves you, Hurley. There's nothing to worry about."

Hurley: "Okay, okay, keep your shirts on. Oh, um, I mean …" _It's been several weeks since any of these guys had a shirt._

Michael: "We know what you mean. Just do it and get it over with. No one will remember what you say anyway."

Hurley clears his throat, and raises his voice. "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to propose a toast to the bride and groom.

I've had the good fortune to have had special moments with Claire and Charlie. The first time I saw Claire, I fainted. Oh wait, that didn't come out right. I mean, because Jack said she might be giving birth any moment. And Charlie and I got along great right from the start. We had this idea to build the golf course, and I figured it would distract him from him obvious drug problem. Hold it, that doesn't sound good either. I mean …"

Hurley is sweating.

"I'm sure Claire and Charlie will have many wonderful happy years together. Charlie has always watched out for Claire. They'll make a great family. If they have kids, maybe it's better if they're not born here. Uh … I hope he still finds some time for golf."

_This isn't going very well._

"So in conclusion, I know I speak for all of us when I wish them a long happy life together."

Hurley sits down.

Boone: "Man, you were right."

Hurley: "What do you mean?"

Boone: "You do stink at making speeches."

The clumsiness of the speech does not prevent the adults from drinking glasses of Dharpa champagne, which Desmond mysteriously produces from a room hidden below the kitchen refrigerator.

Desmond: "There's a kind of secret wine cellar here."

It is time for the wedding cake to be served. Claire and Charlie hold a knife together and cut the first two pieces.

Charlie: "We're supposed to feed each other right?"

Claire: "Right. Like this."

Claire mashes Charlie's piece into his mouth. Charlie reciprocates. They laugh at each other with their faces covered with crumbs.

Desmond, who has brought back the phonograph, turns it on for some nice dance music. The lovely tunes of "The Macarena" waft through the air.

Charlie: "May I have this dance?"

Claire: "Well, since you were the first to ask, okay."

Claire and Charlie make their way into the open space between the tables. They hold hands and despite the music dance a tango. They have the stage to themselves for a couple minutes. Then Shannon gets up and takes Hurley by the hand.

Shannon: "Come on, the maid of honor has to have a dance with the best man."

Hurley: "Is that how it works?"

Shannon: "Of course. What did you think?"

Hurley: "Um, you're not afraid that Sayid might get jealous?"

Shannon: "No. Let's go."

Hurley looks across the room at Libby, who nods her approval. Hurley reasons, _No big deal, I'll dance with Libby next._

Shannon sends a glare at Boone, who gets the message. Boone strides over to Kate.

Boone: "Would you care to dance?"

Kate: "May as well. Jack and Sawyer haven't been paying enough attention to me lately; maybe this will turn their heads."

Boone: "How gracious of you."

Gussie figures out what is going on, and ambles over to Michael. Michael realizes it might not be in his best interests to refuse the large polar bear, so he gets up and follows her to the dance floor. Gussie insists on Michael holding her paws, and then leads Michael on a graceful exhibition of ballroom dancing. Michael catches on quickly.

Sun gazes at Michael at Gussie dancing, and wishes Jin could dance that well. Jin feels he must take corrective action.

Jin: "Let's dance."

Jin takes Sun's hand, and Sun doesn't resist.

Sun: "My pleasure." _I have to find out if I'm pregnant._

Watching the happy couples dancing, Ana-Lucia is overcome by feelings of desire and launches herself at Eko.

Ana-Lucia: "Come on big guy, let's dance."

Eko: "Usually the priest doesn't dance at the wedding reception …"

Eko looks into Ana-Lucia's eyes and succumbs. " … but this usually there's no one like you around. I don't dance much in my profession."

Ana-Lucia: "I'll show you. Put your left hand on my shoulder, and your right hand on my back. I hold onto your shoulders, and our steps should match. Follow my lead to start out with."

Ana-Lucia runs her hands all around Eko's shoulders on the pretext of searching for exactly the right position. Then they begin to dance, with Ana-Lucia continuously rubbing Eko's broad shoulders. Eko finds the experience stimulating, and rubs Ana-Lucia's back in a circular motion as they move about the dance floor. The contact feels so good they don't pay much attention to their dance steps.

Emma sees what Ana-Lucia is doing, and grabs Walt.

Emma: "We have to dance."

Walt: "Why? I can't dance."

Emma: "Because you agreed to be my boyfriend back when we were at the Arrow Station. And I'll be happy to teach you."

Walt: "Wouldn't it be rude to leave Zach alone?"

Emma: "No."

Zach: "Come on, Walt, I want to see you dance. And don't worry about me; I don't need a dance partner."

Emma gives instructions to Walt that duplicate what Ana-Lucia just told Eko. Walt stumbles a lot at first but catches on, and he and Emma make an adorable couple.

Bernard sees his chance to get some attention. "Rose, it's been too long. Would you do me the honor of having this dance with me?"

Rose: "You're such a charmer. Of course I will. This is our big chance to get in on the action, and show those young whippersnappers what we mature people are capable of."

Rose and Bernard stroll gracefully onto the increasingly crowded dance floor.

The Macarena ends, and a new tune, the Hokey-Pokey, fills the air. Some dance partners change.

Jack: "Aren't I supposed to dance with the bride?"

Claire: "I guess so. Charlie?"

Charlie: "One dance is all right. He deserves something for giving you away."

Jack bows and takes Claire's hand in an exaggerated manner and leads her to the dance floor.

Hurley gracefully bows to Shannon and then goes over to Libby. "Hey Libby, I want to dance all the rest of the dances with you. I'm sorry about the first one."

Libby: "That's so sweet, and don't worry about. This is Claire's and Charlie's wedding, and we shouldn't do anything to mess it up."

Shannon runs for Sayid.

Shannon: "Whew! I made it through that dance with Hurley without him stepping on my toes. Now it's our turn."

Sayid: "Isn't the gentleman supposed to ask the lady … oh, I suppose that's old-fashioned now."

Shannon: "Yes it is. I'm sure you'll do fine."

Shannon practically drags Sayid onto the dance floor, and leads him into a waltz.

Boone and Kate bow and curtsey, respectively. Kate goes over to the children's table because she is supposed to be watching Aaron. Boone seizes the opportunity to visit Cindy.

Boone: "I'm sorry I took so long, but I'm keeping my word and not ignoring you. Shall we dance?"

Cindy thinks it over. _Nobody else is asking me._ "Sure."

Boone and Cindy join the dance.

Locke and Sawyer find themselves alone at one table.

Locke: "Looks like we're the wallflowers tonight."

Sawyer: "That's all right, Mr. Botanist. Dancing ain't my thing. And it means more booze for me."

Sawyer chugs down another glass of champagne.

Locke: "You never know. If the right girl comes along, you could change your mind. Unless you and Kate have settled on each other."

Sawyer: "Kate just isn't committing herself to anyone … why I am telling you this? You ain't my shrink."

Locke: "As long as I'm on this island I have an obligation to make things right for all of its residents."

Sawyer: "Even those psychos who like to kidnap us? Or that crazy lady who captured Jin?"

Locke: "One of those psychos might be perfect for you. And that crazy lady … we should find out more about her."

Sawyer: "Good luck with that." Sawyer downs another glass of champagne.

Gussie and Michael separate after the first dance. When Vincent sees this, the Labrador rushes toward the polar bear and barks. They run around each other and dance up a storm.

Michael visits the children's table where Zach is sitting by himself.

Michael: "How you doing, Zachster? Are you bored?"

Zach: "I'm okay. I'm so glad I don't have to dance with my sister, Mr. Dawson."

Michael: "That sounds too formal. We should find another name for you to call me by."

Zach: "I can't call you by your first name … how about Mr. D?"

Michael: "Mr. D? That sounds pretty good. Better than anything Sawyer came up with."

Zach: "All right then. You know, that sounds a lot like 'Mickey D.' Did you ever work at a fast food place?"

Michael coughs. "No, and please don't mess up and call me that."

Zach: "What will happen if I do?"

Michael thinks. "I'd treat you like I treat Walt. Maybe bury you in the sand up to your neck all day."

Zach: "That sounds like fun!"

Michael: "We'll see. But let's see what we can make out of the rest of this reception. You'd have more fun on the dance floor."

Zach: "You think I should go out there by myself?"

Michael: "If you can dance without making a fool out of yourself."

Zach: "Sure I can dance. Watch this!"

Zach slides onto the floor and starts break-dancing, spinning around on his back and then his head. His actions cause everyone else to stop and stare.

Sayid: "What is that dance?"

Shannon: "That's called break-dancing."

Sayid: "Is that because the participants usually break something?"

Shannon: "I believe that's right."

Emma is impressed. "Wow Zach, that's a lot better than I thought you could do. Can you do that, Walt?"

Walt: "Of course I can."

Walt spins around, looking a bit foolish in the process.

Hurley: "Excuse me Libby, I have to do this."

Hurley suddenly drops to the floor to break dance. He spins around more rapidly than Zach, and can balance on his head longer. When the music ends, Hurley rises to a standing ovation.

Libby: "Wow Hurley, that was very impressive. I had no idea you could do that."

Hurley: "I have lots of talents I don't like showing off all the time. And I am amazingly spry."

Michael: "Let's hear it for our break dancing champion!"

There is thunderous applause.

Shannon: "Hey, it's time to throw the bouquet."

Emma: "It's over here. I made it out of lots of pretty flowers Ana-Lucia and John gave me."

Shannon: "Thank you, you did a great job."

Shannon take the bouquet and brings it to Claire.

Shannon: "Now all you single ladies out there gather over here. Claire, you stand over there with your back to us."

Claire: "I know how it works."

Claire takes her position, and all the women except Sun and Rose gather behind here.

Claire: "One, two, three, here it comes!"

Claire tosses the bouquet over her shoulder. In the ensuing mad scramble, Shannon darts her way through the crowd and leaps high into the air to snag the bouquet above the outstretched hands of several others.

Boone: "Shannon, you should have been a wide receiver for a football team."

Sayid: "What are you talking about? Football doesn't have such a position."

Shannon: "Sayid, he means American football. Americans call your football soccer. But football isn't that accurate a name for the American sport because the ball isn't kicked with a foot very often."

Boone: "Anyway, now it's time to throw the garter."

Claire: "I never thought about that. I don't have a garter."

Desmond: : "We can improvise like we always do. Let's see …"

Desmond goes into a workroom, and emerges with a large, thick rubber band.

Desmond: "Won't this do? It's a replacement small fan belt."

Charlie: "Sure it will. Now you single guys, get where the ladies just were."

Charlie takes the rubber band from Desmond.

Walt: "Dad, does that include me?"

Michael: "After you just got owned by Hurley and Zach break-dancing, maybe you better stay offstage for a little while."

Zach: "We're too young for this. Let's just watch."

There is some reluctant shuffling toward the center of the floor. Jin and Bernard remain on the sidelines.

Charlie: "Ready? One, two, three!"

Charlie flings the rubber band over his shoulder. Everyone moves away except Sayid, who catches it without trying.

Sayid: "Does this mean …?"

Shannon: "It means what you think it means. We're going to be next to be married."

Sayid: "To each other?"

Shannon smiles coyly.

Charlie: "I think it's time Claire and I left for our honeymoon."

Sayid: "Congratulations. And here, take this for the sailboat in case of emergency."

Sayid gives Charlie one of the working short-range radio communicators.

There is another round of congratulations all around. At the end, Desmond places one hand each on Claire's and Charlie's shoulders, and goes into a trance for a second. He shakes for a moment, and then is back to normal.

Claire, concerned: "What is it?"

Desmond: "Nothing, I just had a little too much champagne."

Claire goes over to say good-bye to Aaron, and Desmond takes Charlie aside.

Charlie: "I have too much experience with drugs to know that wasn't nothing. What did you see?"

Desmond: "I saw … "

Charlie: "You have to tell me."

Desmond: "Aye. I saw two visions. The first had you in a room with rising water. And the second had Claire carrying Aaron into a submarine."

Charlie: "Claire and Aaron are going to be rescued? But … I …"

Desmond: "I'm not sure what it means. The visions only lasted for a second, and could mean anything."

Charlie: "I will do whatever it takes to get Claire and Aaron off this island."

Desmond: "Of course you will. Just don't jump to conclusions, and do more than you have to."

Claire and Charlie say good-bye and go to Desmond's sailboat which is anchored near the beach. Everyone else crashes in the Swan Station for the night.


	53. Wherefore Art Thou, Juliet?

Juliet spends the night in the woods in a small, thin collapsible tent that fits in her backpack. She gets up in the morning, eats and drinks from the supplies she has brought, and proceeds to a river not too far from the Swan Station. This river flows over a waterfall and leads to one of the caves. She waits on the far side for somebody to show up, holding the white flag of surrender on a stick as her plan to win enough trust to convince the Oceanics to let Jack go to the Staff and operate on Ben's tumor.

* * *

Everyone at the Swan Station wakes up in the morning. Many of them are groggy. Desmond tries to wash up, and finds he has to make an announcement.

Desmond: "It appears that we used up our entire water supply last night during the wedding reception. Until we get another good rainstorm, we'll need to carry in fresh water by hand."

Jack: "That's not so bad; it will give us all a chance to get some exercise."

Hurley: "Actually, we still need someone to stay here and push the buttons."

Jack: "Fine, almost everyone then. Whose turn is it to stay here?"

Hurley: "Mine and Libby's, with Rose and Bernard as backup."

Kate: "I have to look after Aaron. It will be awkward carry him and Aaron at the same time."

Rose: "It will be no problem looking after the darling for a few hours."

Kate: "But I promised Claire … oh, okay."

Bernard: "Aaron will be fine; trust us."

Kate: "You two are the grandparent-y type. Go for it."

Sayid: "I think we have enough to get water. Let's get going right after breakfast."

Zach: "Hey, can't Walt make it rain?"

Walt: "I don't have that kind of control. Those things happen when I'm upset, and I'm not stressed out now."

Michael: "And let's keep it that way. Walt has gone through too much."

Emma: "It will be fun just getting water together. It will give you guys a chance to work those muscles."

The group has a quick breakfast, and heads out with armloads of bottles and jugs.

Jack: "It's best if we split into small groups and get the water from different places in case some of it isn't completely clean."

Sawyer: "Fine. We don't need to be all together all the time."

Sawyer takes a path toward the south, and Sun follows. Jin is confused.

Jin: "Why are we going with Sawyer?"

Sun: "Going with Sawyer? No, it's just that this direction leads near my garden. I thought I could water it during the trip."

Jin accepts the explanation and they move along. When they get to a stream, Jin collects some water, and Sun quickly seizes her chance to talk with Sawyer.

Sun: "Sawyer, do you have a pregnancy kit in your stash? I searched the hatch, and it doesn't have any."

Sawyer chuckles quietly so Jin doesn't hear. "Now what could Miss Saigon want with a pregnancy kit?"

Sun: "Why would anyone want a pregnancy kit? And it should be Miss Seoul."

Sawyer: "Whatever you say. I think I have one or two kits in there, but what's in it for me?"

Sun: "Must you always demand something for something you can't possibly use? Don't tell me you're afraid you might become pregnant some day."

Sawyer: "I have to remain true to my character and maintain my image. Now what would be a good favor in exchange?"

Sun: "Would you like some fresh vegetables?"

Sawyer: "That ain't exactly my idea of a good trade."

Sun: "How about when you make up some nickname for me or Jin in the next month involving some Asian country other than Korea, I don't correct you?"

Sawyer: "That sounds reasonable, my Japanese Beetle."

Sun: "That's …" Sun stops herself.

Sawyer snickers, and Jin returns with many water-filled bottles.

Jin: "Come on, what's keeping you?"

Sun: "I thought I heard a sea gull, but not any more. It probably was the wind."

Jin: "The wind gets blamed a lot for things around here."

* * *

Boone and Locke miss hanging out with each other, so one of the groups consists of Locke, Boone, Shannon, and Sayid. They approach a stream, and at a fork Locke and Boone go one way and Shannon and Sayid the other. By a remarkable coincidence this is the stream Juliet is waiting on the opposite side.

Juliet puts her plan into action. She throws the white flag on a stick across the stream, which is seen by Locke and Boone. They remain quiet and watch with wide open eyes as she strips down to her bright blue thong bikini, and stuffs all her clothes into her backpack. She then puts on the pack and wades across the stream, stopping when the water reaches her waist. She pretends she doesn't know anyone else is around when she exclaims,

"Oh dear, I didn't know the water was this deep. I better take the pack off so my clothes don't get wet."

She takes off the pack and holds it over her head, and continues across the stream, which has a mild current. The water gets deeper until it reaches her breasts, and then Boone, breathing heavily, makes an audible noise. Juliet pretends to be startled, and drops the pack, which is carried away down the stream. She scrambles across the stream, where Locke and Boone rush to meet her.

Locke: "Who are you?"

Juliet: "I'm Juliet Burke, and I'm here to tell you our leader, Ben Li- I mean, Henry Gale, has a tumor we need Jack Shepherd to remove."

Boone: "You're not sure of this guy's name?"

Juliet gazes at Boone's body and forgets what he asked.

Locke: "How do you know all about us?"

Juliet comes to.

Juliet: "I'm from the people who live on the north side of the island. But first let's get my pack before it gets too far away."

Locke: "Hold it. There are more important things to discuss right now."

Juliet: "But that has all my clothes in it."

Boone: "I don't see why that's a problem."

Juliet: "Surely you don't expect me to run around in this bikini all day?"

Boone: "Don't call me 'Shirley'."

Locke: "She's avoiding answering our questions. She needs to be tied to a tree and interrogated."

Juliet: "I don't need to be tied up. I'll answer your questions. I'm not going to harm you."

Locke: "If you're not going to harm us, then you can demonstrate some good faith that this isn't some kind of trap and let us tie you up."

Sayid has heard the commotion and comes rushing up. "What's going on here?"

Locke: "This person is from the enemy and is trying to run away. Help us tie her up and question her."

Sayid: "Okay, but I'm not torturing her."

Juliet gazes at Sayid's muscular well-proportioned body, and forgets what she is doing.

Locke: "Goody. It's been way too long since I tied someone up."

Juliet is so mesmerized by Sayid that she doesn't resist, and with Boone holding her in place, Locke quickly ties her to a tree, her hands crossed behind her back around the tree. Then he ties another rope around her ankles and the tree, so she can barely move.

Shannon catches up, and taking in the situation, doesn't like the way Juliet is staring at Sayid.

Shannon: "What are you guys doing?"

Boone: "We caught a spy and need to question her."

Juliet: "I'm not a spy; and we need your help. And I don't need to be tied up to answer questions. Can you please convince your hyperactive friends here to let me go?"

The men look at Shannon.

Shannon: "I don't like that way you're staring at my boyfriend. Leave her there."

Juliet: "I can't help it, he's a hunk. I mean, I'm not staring at him. And do I really look like a spy?"

Sayid: "That is a very unusual outfit for a spy."

Shannon: "Ha! That's just what she wants you to think. I bet she's trying to seduce you men and lead you into some kind of trap."

Juliet thinks, _Shannon really is pretty sharp._ "Look, I didn't come here dressed like this. I was crossing that stream, and got startled and dropped my pack with my clothes and some supplies. Let me loose and I'll show you."

Boone: "That pack's too far away and has probably gone over a waterfall by now. Forget it."

Shannon sighs: "Does this place really need another blonde in a bikini?"

Boone: "It's not hard to tell you apart; your bikini is pink and hers is blue."

Sayid: "Actually, I feel we're safer if we keep her in a bikini. We can be sure that she isn't carrying any concealed weapons."

Juliet comes up with an idea to meet the rest of the men. "Okay, I can see you're not letting me go for now. How about you bring everyone in your group to question me, and when you're convinced I'm telling the truth, you let me go and take your doctor to see Ben."

Locke: "That sounds fair."

Sayid: "Then I have some questions. What is this person's real name?"

Juliet: "Benjamin Linus. He used the fake name Henry Gale in what had to the one of the most pointless plot devices ever."

Sayid: "That certainly has the ring of truth. Now why did you kidnap Claire?"

Juliet: "We were trying to find out why women can't conceive on this island, and wanted to find out if there was something in her system that allowed her to carry to term."

Sayid: "Why couldn't you have just asked us nicely?"

Juliet: "That's not the way Ben does things. He figured you would object."

Sayid: "Well, that's right. And what's the story on Jack?"

Juliet: "Ben engineered that complicated plan where Michael was supposed to bring Jack to us in exchange for Walt, but you know that didn't work. So Ben gave in and allowed me to bring Jack to him. Ben's in this station known as the Staff."

Sayid confers with the Oceanics present. "She does seem to be telling the truth."

Juliet: "Of course I am. I have nothing to hide."

Boone: "She's right about that."

Juliet: "Now can I meet the rest of your group and get this over with?"

Locke yells: "Hey everybody, come over here!"

A few minutes later Michael and the kids show up. Michael and Walt recognize her, but Emma and Zach don't. Walt's and Zach's eyes nearly bug out at the sight of Juliet tied to the tree in a bikini, so Michael does the introductions.

Michael: "Juliet, this is Emma and Zach from the tail section. Emma and Zach, this is Juliet from the group we've been calling the Others."

Juliet: "I know who the children are. We had plans to kidnap you, but Goodwin got too infatuated with Cindy and got distracted."

Emma: "Nice to meet you Ms. Juliet. What are you doing here?"

Juliet: "Our leader is sick, and I've come to get your Doctor Jack to operate on him. It looks like I have to stayed tied up here until I can convince all of you I'm telling the truth."

Zach: "Do your people always dress like that?"

Juliet: "No, I was crossing that river and got startled and dropped by pack with all my clothes. It floated away and these guys tied me up instead of letting me retrieve it."

Zach laughs. "Good job, guys!"

Emma: "That does make you fit in more with the people on this side of the island."

Boone: "And lots of us have been tied up at some point, too."

Michael notices Walt has been staring at Juliet all this time.

Michael: "Walt, snap out of it. Are you okay?"

Walt: "It's so much fun to see somebody else tied up for a change."

Juliet: "Glad to see you're all right Walt. By the way, that last experiment on you was a success. The fourth Vermicelli number was changed to 16, and Doomsday was postponed another eighteen years until 2056. I know you suffered a lot, but you're a hero."

Walt: "Thanks. But does that mean you're going to try to tie me up and stress me out again to change the last two numbers?"

Juliet: "Actually, when you changed the fourth number a volcano erupted, we had an earthquake, and our village was pretty much destroyed. So we're looking into other means, but we have lots of time now."

Michael: "Speaking of time, we should get back to the hatch with fresh water. Do you have any more questions?"

Walt: "How come you couldn't dress like that when you were questioning me?"

Juliet: "Don't you think that would have spoiled the cops-and-robbers effect?"

Walt: "I guess, but … wow, you look great!"

Zach: "Hey, I remember we had a question. Why is there a polar bear on this island?"

Juliet: "We are engaged in lots of scientific research, and one of the projects was seeing if we could make animals adapt to different climates in case global warming gets out of control."

Michael: "Turns your polar bear is a great dancer, and is friends with my son's dog. One other thing, how is Bea?"

Juliet: "She's okay. She had to stay behind to help repair our village, but she misses you and Walt a lot."

Walt: "Dad, do you like Bea?"

Michael: "Well, she's … interesting. I wish we met under better circumstances. How do you feel about her?"

Walt: "Sometimes she was nice, and sometimes she was crazy. Like she's a good cook and gives great massages, but also made me take too many tests and painted "Bad boy" on me."

Michael: "She sounds so fascinating. Maybe we'll see her again."

Eko and Ana-Lucia arrive on the scene.

Ana-Lucia: "Who is this, and why is she tied up?"

Locke: "This is Juliet, one of the Others, and we need to determine whether she's a threat."

Juliet shakes some at the sight of Eko's barrel chest and wishes she could run her hands across it.

Juliet: "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Eko and Ana-Lucia Cortez. You'll pardon me if I don't shake your hands."

Eko: "What did she do to deserve this?"

Michael: "She's one of those who tied up Walt and Claire when they were kidnapped."

Walt: "Actually, Juliet never tied me up. She was the nicest one there. It was usually Ethan or Tom, or even Bea, who tied me up. Juliet pretty much just left me tied up several times."

Juliet: "Why, thank you Walt. And it was Ethan who strapped Claire down when we were testing her. I only left her strapped down during that time."

Eko: "I see. The Bible says an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. The proper course of action is for us to leave this woman tied up as long as she left Claire and Walt tied up."

Ana-Lucia: "You are so wise. That's one of your traits I find so charming."

Ana-Lucia and Eko wander off with Ana-Lucia draped over Eko's shoulders. Michael and the kids also head off back toward the hatch with filled water bottles. Next on the scene are Jack and Kate. Jack nearly drools at the sight of Juliet tied to the tree, and Juliet's eyes open wide at the sight of Jack's physique.

Jack: "What is going on here?"

Sayid: "This woman is from that group that has been abducting our people, and now says they need you."

Kate doesn't care for the way Jack and Juliet are looking at each other.

Kate: "You mean those people like Ethan and Henry? You can't trust them; they lie all the time."

Juliet: "I promise I'm telling the truth now. And that guy's real name is Ben, not Henry. He's our leader. He has a tumor on his spine and we need a spinal surgeon to operate on him."

Jack: "And by an amazing coincidence I happen to be a first-rate spinal surgeon."

Juliet: "Haven't you noticed there are a lot of amazing coincidences on this island?"

Jack: "Of course. But I need some questions answered. Like, why are you tied up?"

Juliet: "Because John Locke has an obsession with tying up people. It could be a psychological disorder. But as a show of good faith I'm not protesting and answering all your questions."

Jack: "What makes you qualified to make such a diagnosis about John?"

Juliet: "I'm a doctor too. I specialized in fertility, but among all those courses in medical school I learned something about psychology."

Jack: "What about the other people in your group?"

Juliet: "There's probably some insanity going around. Ethan is the most extreme case."

Jack: "Where are your people now?"

Juliet: "Ben and Ethan are at the Staff, the medical station on this island. The rest are repairing our village. It sustained a lot of damage during the earthquake."

Jack: "Now why should I help your leader when he's caused us so much anxiety?"

Juliet: "Because you took the Hippocratic Oath, and have to help anyone in need."

Jack: "Oh, right."

Kate: "Wait a minute! We have to get something in exchange, like passage off this island. You have to take care if the greatest number of people possible."

Jack: "That's right, too. Doctor … what's your name?"

Juliet: "Juliet Burke. But please call me 'Juliet;' 'Doctor' is too formal."

Jack: "That certainly isn't formal attire you're wearing, Juliet."

Juliet: "I had a little accident crossing the river over there and lost my pack with my clothes."

Kate: "Are you sure you didn't do lose them on purpose?"

Jack: "Kate, remember it was you who ruined my shirt by sopping up my blood with it after you stitched me up the day we crashed. Did you do that on purpose?"

Kate: "I think I should leave now and bring the water I collected back to the hatch."

As Kate departs, Sun and Jin arrive, with Sawyer lagging behind them. Juliet is distracted from her conversation with Jack by Jin and his fine body.

Juliet thinks: _Too bad he's taken, but if I stay here for any length of time I won't mind seeing him around._

Jack: "Hello Sun and Jin. This is Doctor Juliet Burke, and I'll probably be going with her to operate on that guy we held prisoner in the hatch for a while. Sun, I may be gone for a couple of days, so do you think you can handle the medical situations that arise."

Sun: "Sure. But there haven't been many medical situations lately."

Jack sighs. "That's right. It's a shame my medical training hasn't been put to more use. There was treating Libby for her alien paranoia, but that was mostly you. And then Claire's delivery, but that was mostly you again. The last thing I did by myself was …. Walt's rope burns after he was tied to a tree by John?"

Juliet: "Then this is a great opportunity to show off your skills. And I won't have bad rope burns because I'm not struggling like Walt did."

Sun: "I'm sure I can handle whatever comes up."

Jin: "Yes, Sun is wonderful."

Sun and Jin head back to the hatch as Sawyer comes onto the scene. He drops his water bottles at the sight of Juliet in her bikini tied to the tree. Juliet's heart beats wildly at the sight of Sawyer in just fraying and fading blue jeans.

Juliet reasons: _It would have been worth being tied up for days to finally see Sawyer in person. I should have done this a long time ago._

Sawyer: "So Doc, what are you up to? Is this a new medical procedure? And who is Miss Goldilocks here?"

Juliet is excited and speechless after being given a nickname so quickly.

Jack: "No, this is Doctor Juliet Burke, and she wants me to operate on Ben, the real name of the guy we had locked up in the hatch. But we need something in exchange, like a way off this island."

Sawyer: "You mean like the boat the Mikester almost bargained us away for?"

Jack: "Maybe, but that didn't sound very big."

Juliet catches her breath enough to talk: "That really wouldn't hold more than four people, and that's pushing it. But I'm sure something like that could be arranged."

Sawyer: "What about communicating with the outside world? Our friend Ahab and Arab over there said something was jamming a signal."

Juliet gulps. _I can't tell them about that. _"I don't know anything about that."

Sawyer looks at Juliet funny, and then at Sayid, Locke, Boone, and Shannon, who have been observing the interactions with Juliet from a distance. He motions to Sayid to come over. Locke follows, not wanting to be left out of what he feels will be an important conversation.

Sayid: "What's up?"

Sawyer: "What the deal with that radio jamming thing you were babbling about before? I think Doctor Blondie here knows something about it."

Sayid: "Dang, I should have thought of that when I was questioning her before. I repaired the radio from Desmond's sailboat enough so that it should be able to send and receive long-distance signals, but something on or very near this island is jamming all the useful frequencies, and we only have short-range communication." Turning to face Juliet, "What do you know about that?"

Juliet: "I-I can't tell you anything about that."

Locke: "It would be a shame to have to torture that information out of you."

Sawyer: "NO! I have a better idea."

Sawyer suddenly throws his arms around Juliet and presses his body and face against hers. He kisses her long and hard on the lips. Juliet tingles with excitement, and wilts. After a minute, Sawyer breaks off the kiss.

Juliet: "There's an underwater station named the Looking Glass offshore the southeast side of this island. It's at one end of the cable Jin found while going around the island when he was mad at Sun. The other end goes somewhere near that crazy French woman. The site of the Looking Glass turned out to be an optimal location for communicating through the goofy air waves around this island. It's manned, or womanned, by two people named Greta and Bonnie who make sure the jamming device is up continuously. They are the two who are responsible for destroying Michael's second raft by sending out a mechanical shark to take large bites out of it, but those two have been completely forgotten since. If you can knock out the jamming device, you'll be able to easily communicate with anyone for hundreds of miles. But Ben will be very mean to me if he finds out I told you. You must take me with you."

Sawyer: "I'm sure that can be arranged."

Jack: "Wow; that was impressive. I'm sure we can trust her now."

Sayid: "I agree. I must go now, and send a message."

* * *

Sayid goes back to the hatch, and finds one of the pair of makeshift radios he made. He turns it on, and sets it to the frequency that the other radio, that Charlie now has, is tuned to.

Sayid: "Charlie? Sayid here. How's it going?"

Charlie: "It's been great, but did you have to interrupt us?"

Sayid: "Yes, it's very important, and could get us rescued. Sail around the southeast end of the island, and see if you can find an underwater station. Two women in there are jamming long-distance radio signals."

Charlie: "Got it. What should I do if I find it?"

Sayid: "Don't do anything, just record its location. We need time to think up a plan and get enough manpower over there."

Charlie: "Got it. Thanks for the heads up." _It is my destiny to save everyone, especially Claire and Aaron._

Charlie turns off his radio.

Claire: "Who was that?"

Charlie: "Sayid. He just wanted to make sure we're all right, and he won't interrupt us again. Everyone is so happy for us."

Claire: "That's nice."

Charlie adjusts the sailboat's controls so that the ship is heading around the south side of the island in an easterly direction.


	54. Loose Ends Belatedly Remembered

Author' Note: Much thanks to yankeehater for helping me find the inspiration to keep going.

* * *

Sawyer and Juliet stare at each other for several minutes. Jack eventually breaks it up.

Jack: "If Ben has a tumor, there's no point in delaying. Let's untie Juliet and we'll go."

Juliet attempts to move. "Oh, I forgot I was tied up."

Jack and Sawyer try to untie the knots binding Juliet to the tree. They have considerable difficulty, and brush up against her body frequently. After half an hour,

Juliet: "Are you trying hard?"

Sawyer: "You wouldn't want me to damage these hands, would you?"

Juliet: "Of course not. But I would have thought you guys were more competent."

Jack: "I'm the surgeon. My fingers must be in perfect condition if I'm going to conduct major surgery."

Juliet: "Men! Why don't you just cut the ropes with a knife?"

Jack and Sawyer look at each other, and think, _She would figure that out._

Jack: "I guess I forgot John is around here somewhere."

They look up, and see Locke and Boone giggling in the distance. Jack comes up to them.

Jack: "John, can we borrow a knife?"

Locke: "I don't think I trust you with a knife. I'll cut her loose myself."

Locke comes up and cuts Juliet free.

Juliet: "It's about time. Now Jack, if you will come with me, we can make it to the Staff by nightfall."

Boone: "Shouldn't somebody else come with?"

Juliet: "Jack and I are supposed to come alone. You can trust me to bring him back when we're finished."

Jack: "That's good enough for me. I don't need anyone watching after me."

Sawyer hesitates, and thinks. _If I'm going to have any sort of relationship with her, I have to show I can trust her._ "Nobody wants to babysit you, Doctor Hero Complex."

Jack and Juliet depart, with Jack handing Juliet some of the water he collected.

* * *

Locke: "I can follow their trail if it is necessary."

Sawyer: "Whatever, who needs him. Let's get back with the water."

Sawyer, Locke, and Boone go back to the hatch with the water they collected.

Jack and Juliet are walking along at a good pace toward the Staff.

Jack: "Are you okay walking through the jungle in that bikini? I'd offer to stop by our hatch to get you something to wear, but we don't have any extra clothes."

Juliet: "So I've heard. That's all right; there are surgical gowns and lab coats in the Staff. I may get scratched up a little, but this is very important and if necessary I'll get excellent medical care."

Juliet bats her eyes at Jack.

Jack: "I'll provide medical care to whomever needs it." _I hope Juliet needs it._

Juliet: "That's what the book says on you."

Jack: "You seem to know everything about us. What's your story?"

Juliet: "I've always wanted to be a doctor, and got a medical degree specializing in fertility and obstetrics. I worked in Florida, when this guy who wore tons of eyeliner offered me a fascinating research job, which turned out to be here. I've been studying why women can't have children here, and thanks to getting the opportunity to study Claire's bodily fluids, I think I'll be successful. It would be nice to have her around a few months after the birth to study any changes, but if you insist on leaving we'll just have to do the best we can."

Jack: "Fascinating, but you could have asked nicely."

Juliet: "I think I already explained; Ben isn't like that. He couldn't take a chance of a negative answer."

Jack: "That's probably what would have happened. I wish there were a better way of handling this."

Juliet: "It's working out okay so far. And now I suggested asking you in a straightforward manner to help, instead of some more complicated scheme or taking you by force."

Jack: "I appreciate that. And this way I get to see a lot more of the island's beauty."

Juliet, acting innocent: "This part of the island is rather ordinary. Just endless trees. Oh, you mean …" _me, of course._

They grin at each other in a silly manner.

* * *

The main group eats lunch at the hatch.

Desmond: "Great job, everybody, we got enough water for a couple days anyway."

Shannon: "Good to hear some good news. Now what are we going to do this afternoon?"

Hurley: "I want to go work on that Edsel. I really think I can get that up and running. Who wants to join me?"

Jin: "I'd like to … oh Sun, what do you want to do?"

Sun: _This will give me a chance to get the pregnancy kit._ "Please go ahead. You could use some male bonding."

Jin: "Whatever makes you happy, my dear."

Michael: "I promised to build Claire and Charlie a nice tent. Lots of structures on the beach can be shored up a bit after that tremor. I could use a hand." Michael looks at Walt.

Walt: "Building more things? That's boring. I want to go see the car."

Michael looks hurt.

Emma: "I'll go with you Mr. D."

Michael brightens up a little.

Zach: "I want to go help with the car."

Eko: "John, a long time ago you said you'd show me some things on the island, and go on a quest. This looks like a good time."

Shannon: "Wow, that was a dropped plot line."

Locke: "Nevertheless, it isn't too late."

Shannon: "Can I come? It will be nice to break up some of the usual groups."

Locke: "It will be a delight to see you … I mean, have you, around."

Boone: "Hey, I remember another dropped plot line. We never finished the golf course. I could work on that."

Hurley: "Oh right, dude, there were only ten holes last time I played. There should be eighteen."

Kate: "If enough people work on that it will get done in no time."

Sayid: "That's not possible. Dividing a positive number by a finite number cannot result in zero."

Sawyer: "Did you ever hear of the term, 'figure of speech,' Egghead?"

Sayid: "I think I'll stay away from you. Building something sounds good, like something I'd like to do if I was alone and got off this island."

The groups go off to their various destinations. Locke, Eko, Shannon, and Bernard end up going toward the Purple Pebble. Hurley, Jin, Walt, Zach, and Cindy go to work on the Edsel. Michael, Emma, Sayid, and Ana-Lucia go to the beach to rebuild some tents and make a nicer dwelling for Claire and Charlie. Boone, Kate, Rose, and Desmond go to the golf course. That leaves Sun and Sawyer to head to Sawyer's stash.

* * *

After a few hours, Locke, Eko, Shannon, and Bernard reach the Purple Pebble.

Eko: "Amazing. What is this ship?"

Locke: "It must have been a pirate ship. There's a gangplank, and see inside here, there are shackles mounted to the bulkheads."

Shannon: "But how did it get in the middle of the island?"

Bernard: "I would guess a tidal wave is the most likely explanation."

Shannon: "I guess you're right."

Locke: "Also, this ship contains lots of fake dynamite. We haven't found out why yet."

Eko: "How is it fake?"

Locke: "When the fuse burns down, a flag that says 'Bang!' comes out, like a cartoon."

Eko: "How odd. You must show me more of this island in the next few days."

Locke: "Gladly. But I'm afraid we have to go back now."

* * *

Michael and Emma are walking toward the beach, a little ways away from Sayid and Ana-Lucia.

Michael: "You seem to be looking at me a lot."

Emma: "Oh. I just want to see what Walt will look like when he grows up. It will be great if he looks anything like you."

Michael: "Oh, why thank you."

Emma: "I mean, you have nice muscles, and look really fit."

Michael: "Well, many years in construction contributed to that. I know Walt is anxious to grow up fast, but you can't rush nature. Both of you will have to be patient."

Emma: "That's all right; I can wait."

They all reach the beach and do some clean-up. Michael, Sayid, and Ana-Lucia chop down more trees to make logs for supports and roofs.

Ana-Lucia: "So do you think there's a real chance we'll get rescued?"

Sayid: "I'm cautiously optimistic. We have information now that may enable us to make radio contact with the outside world. We need to turn off an underwater station that is jamming the frequencies. All sorts of things on this island are unpredictable, but this is our best chance so far."

They get a lot accomplished, but there is more to be done when it is time to return to the Swan Station for dinner.

* * *

Hurley, Jin, Cindy, Walt, and Zach take a path that leads to the broken-down Edsel. Walt insists on carrying a toolbox, but it gets heavy and he has Zach help carry one end. They reach the vehicle.

Cindy: "Wow, that is one ugly looking car!"

Hurley: "That's a big reason why they didn't sell very well. They were also too expensive for their time, but now they're collector items."

Zach: "You really think you can get this thing to run?"

Hurley: "I have some experience in fixing up old cars. Now just hand me the tools as I ask for them."

Hurley and Jin do a lot of work on the car.

Hurley: "I think it's ready. Let's give her a rip."

Hurley turns the key that has been conveniently left in the ignition, but the engine sputters.

Jin: "I think it needs gasoline."

Hurley: "I suppose whatever was left in the tank evaporated over all these years. But remember there was some gas in that parachute drop? Desmond was right when he said that was foreshadowing something."

Jin: "There was also a tire pump."

Cindy: "When was this parachute drop?"

Hurley: "Around twenty episodes ago."

Cindy: "Aren't you rather slow in connecting plot points?"

Hurley: "We can be at times, but we have a very good record of tying up loose ends."

It is getting dark, so they head back to the hatch.

* * *

Boone, Kate, Rose, and Desmond reach the golf course.

Desmond: "What a quaint idea. Who thought of this?"

Boone: "It was Hurley and Charlie. They figured a distraction would be good for us."

Desmond: "I could have used a distraction like this."

Kate: "Why don't you get distracted now?"

Desmond: "Jolly good idea."

Desmond takes the clubs and hits a drive on the first hole. He is out of practice, but has some fun. They reach the end of the fifth hole.

Kate explains, "The course turns back here. We just need to add some more out in this direction."

Desmond: "I think I have an eye for good hole locations. Let's go."

The foursome continues to the north, and Desmond suggests some places to dig small holes and places sticks to serve as flagsticks.

Desmond: "That wasn't so hard. We have a beautiful links course now. Why did this take so long to complete?"

Rose: "Funny how some ideas just get forgotten for long periods of time around here."

Boone: "At least this is finally completed. Maybe we can hold an 'Island Open' some day."

Kate: "And we can get in a little practice now."

They all hit golf balls on the way back home, with Kate shooting the best score. Desmond vows to get more practice in.

* * *

Ignored by everyone else, Sawyer and Sun go to Sawyer's stash. Sawyer makes Sun wait a short distance away, and then finds a pregnancy test kit. He goes back to Sun.

Sawyer: "Here you go, Mother Kwon."

Sun: "We don't know that I'm going to be a mother yet. But thanks for the kit anyway."

Sawyer: "So when are you going to use it?"

Sun: "Not that it's your business, but the first chance I get. In private."

Sawyer: "Of course."

Sun: "You look distracted."

Sawyer: "That baby doctor Juliet is a real babe." Sawyer's mind isn't in its usual state, and he realizes he should say something nice to Sun. "And you're a fox, too. I mean, since you're taken, I'm not interested in you that way, and …" Sawyer is uncharacteristically tongue-tied.

Sun: "Why Sawyer, I do believe that Juliet has had an extraordinary effect on you."

Sawyer: "Uh … maybe … don't tell anyone that. I have to maintain my image, at least for now, so please don't tell anyone."

Sun: "Deal. You don't tell anyone about the pregnancy test, and I won't tell anyone about what I suspect your true feelings are."

Sawyer: "Deal."

They walk quietly back to the Swan Station, with a brief stop on the way at Sun's garden.

Sun: "I hope it rains soon; these vegetables could use a lot more water."

* * *

After dinner, Michael is looking for Walt.

Michael: "Zach, did you see Walt?"

Zach: "He's got to be in the weight room. He's obsessed with looking good for Emma."

Michael: "That's boy's going to hurt himself at the rate he's going. Thanks."

Michael goes down to the exercise area. He watches his son for a few minutes. Walt alternates between straining at lifting heavy weights over his head on the universal machine, and flexing in front of a full-length mirror on the wall. After Walt admires his muscles and is about to go back for more lifting repetitions, his father interrupts.

Michael: "Walt, that's enough for today."

Walt: "No it isn't, I can keep going."

Michael: "If you do, you're going to mess up your growth spurt. Your bones and muscles won't grow right, and you'll cause long-term damage to your body."

Walt: "But I got tired carrying that toolbox to and from the Edsel today. I need bigger muscles, now."

Michael sighs, and gets an idea. "All right, here's an exercise for you. Lie down on the mat, hold up your arms, and then lower this to the floor carefully over your neck, raise it, and lower it again."

Walt lies down, lets Michael place a barbell with fifteen-pound weights on each end, and follows the instructions. The bar is one centimeter above Walt's neck when the barbell is on the floor.

Michael: "How was that?"

Walt: "That was too easy."

Michael: "Let's see, the bar is ten pounds, so that was forty pounds. Hold still while I adjust this."

Michael quickly slides weights adding up to eighty pounds on each side, and locks them in place with a weight collar on each end by turning a screw with a wrench. Walt gets a bad feeling about this.

Michael: "Okay, now lift the weight off and place it above your head."

Walt pushes against the barbell, and it doesn't budge. "Dad, this is too heavy."

Michael: "You're supposed to be special; figure something out."

Walt tries to scoot out from under the barbell, but there isn't enough room for his head to slide under the bar. Scooting in the other direction doesn't work, as there also isn't room to get his shoulders and chest under the bar. He tries to reach the bar with his feet to help, but can't bend enough to get his feet to push upward. He tries sliding sideways to push up one end of the barbell, but it is still too heavy.

Walt: "You're right, Dad, I've worked out enough. This barbell is too heavy. Can you please get it off me and I'll get ready for bed early?"

Michael: "Looks to me like you're ready for bed right now."

Walt thinks, _That's what I was afraid of._

Michael: "You insulted my profession, saying building things was boring. And you disobeyed me when you wouldn't stop lifting weights when I told you to. You've been getting a bit too disrespectful lately, and need a lesson as a reminder to behave."

Walt: _Have to talk my way out of this._ "Dad, I'm sorry I said your work was boring. And that I didn't listen to you right away when you said I was overtraining. I learned my lesson. Now can you please get these weights off me before everyone who walks by here sees me?"

Michael: "You wouldn't have learned a lesson if I did; you'd just conclude that you can talk your way out of anything without any real consequences."

Walt: "Surely you're not going to make me lie under this barbell and sleep like this all night? That's the kind of thing Bea Klugh would do."

Michael: "Bea Klugh is a fascinating woman, and if something is something she would do, that doesn't make it necessarily wrong. And finally, don't call me 'Shirley'."

Walt sighs. "It's bad form to repeat a joke in consecutive episodes."

Michael is surprised. "You ask me to get that barbell off you and now you're criticizing me?"

Walt: "It's totally obvious to me and everyone in the audience that I'm going to be pinned under this barbell for a while no matter what I say, so I figured I'd get one good line in while I could."

Michael laughs: "When you're right, you're right. Too bad it's too late to do you any good."

Walt: "My other thought was saying that you can't leave me like this, but I didn't need to hear another 'don't tell me what I can't do!' "

Michael bends down to ruffle Walt's hair. "You're learning, and this experience will make you stronger. See you later." Michael puts the wrench for turning the screws on the weight collars on a hook out of reach of Walt even if he could roll the barbell close to the wall. Walt has time to think up clever responses to those who come by and ask him how he got in his current position.

* * *

Claire and Charlie have a romantic dinner on the sea as the sailboat continues to drift eastward across the southern tip of the island. As the sun sets, they gaze out over the water, but Charlie keeps looking down, searching for the Looking Glass that Sayid described. Eventually he thinks he spots something metallic well under the surface, but isn't sure because it is too dark. He maneuvers the boat a little closer to shore, and then drops the anchor.

Claire: "What are you doing?"

Charlie: "This looks like a good place to fish. If we catch our own food we can stay onboard this boat longer."

Claire: "You're so romantic."

Claire kisses Charlie, and then they retreat inside for the evening. Charlie ponders how he is going to fulfill his destiny as seen in Desmond's vision.

* * *

Sun gets a chance to use the bathroom in the Swan Station and take the pregnancy test. She waits for several agonizing minutes, and the test turns out … positive! She trembles, and a million thoughts fly through her head. _What if we don't get off the island? Can I have this baby on the island? Is it a boy or a girl? It has to be Jin's right?_ She collects herself and tries to act normally.

* * *

As Jack and Juliet get close to the Staff, Ethan reports what he sees through a spyglass.

Ethan: "Here they come, and Juliet is most attractive in that blue bikini."

Ben: "Hmpf. She never dresses like that when I'm around. I'm sure she'll put on the medical scrubs or a lab coat as soon as she gets in."

Ethan: "That doesn't have to be the case."

Ben looks at Ethan and grins. "What do you have in mind?"

Ethan: "Something toxic could spill on all of them, and they'd have to be incinerated to be safe."

Ben: "I like the way you think."

Ethan: "We can save one set for Jack."

Ben: "Nice idea, but Jack is such a gallant do-gooder he would offer it to Juliet."

Ethan: "You're right; I'd better burn them all."

Ethan "accidentally" spills sulfuric acid on all the garments in the Staff, except for those he and Ben are wearing. Then he shoves them into a furnace just as Juliet knocks on the door.


	55. Into The Looking Glass

Ethan answers the door of the Staff.

Ethan: "Good to see you again, Juliet. I must say you look ravishing."

Juliet: "Of course I do. How is Ben?"

Ethan: "He's waiting for you in the operating room. And good to see you too, Jack."

Jack: "It isn't good to see you. I oughta knock your block off for what you did to us."

Ethan: "That would violate your Hippocratic Oath."

Juliet: "Let's get this over with. Jack, the surgical gowns are this way."

Ethan: "Actually, they aren't."

Juliet: "Where are they, then?"

Ethan: "They got contaminated, and had to be incinerated."

Jack: "The operating room and everything in it, including the physicians, must be sterile."

Juliet: "Ethan, please don't make a crack about what kind of 'sterile'."

Ethan: "Fine, I won't. You can wash up in the shower facility, this way."

Jack: "At the same time?"

Ethan: "No! What kind of an organization do you think this is?" You wash up first, Ben wants to see Juliet."

Juliet: "I'm sure he does."

Jack goes into a bathroom to shower, while Ethan takes Juliet to Ben. Ben's eyes nearly bug out at the sight of the bikini-clad Juliet up close.

Juliet: "Calm down, Ben, or we'll have to perform eye replacement surgery on you also."

Ben's breathing gradually slows down. "So … how did it go?"

Juliet: "It was harder than I thought. The Oceanics tied me to a tree for a few hours while they questioned me." _Can't tell Ben everything I blurted out when Sawyer kissed me._

Ben: "I wish I could have seen that."

Juliet snorts: "Anyway, I got Jack to agree to perform your surgery, but his friends gave him the idea to ask for something in exchange because of the way you've been terrorizing them."

Ben: "What do they want?"

Juliet: "A way off this island."

Ben: "I suppose that's fair. Such a shame though."

Jack comes out of the shower, puts on his well-worn pants, and finds the operating room.

Ben: "You can go get washed up now, Juliet. I need to chat with Jack."

Juliet leaves to wash up.

Ben: "Jack, while Juliet is washing up, you can make whatever preparations you need."

Jack: "I'll need to look at your x-rays."

Ben: "They're in that stack on the shelf."

Jack looks at the top x-ray. "There's nothing in this one."

Jack hands Ben the x-ray.

Ben: "That's an x-ray of my head."

Jack: "This could explain everything."

Ben: "The next one should be of my back."

Jack looks at the correct x-ray. "Wow, that's a nasty tumor you got there. I'm probably the only surgeon in the world who can remove it successfully."

Ben: "That's why you're here."

Jack: "Now before I operate, there's the question of my fee. I don't know if Juliet told you, but you have to give us something for all the trouble you've caused, and I think the most appropriate thing would be for you to furnish a way for all of my friends to get off this island."

Ben: "Yes, she mentioned it, and I admit that seems fair. After the operation, you can have the use of our submarine."

Jack: "You have a submarine?"

Ben: "Yes, that's how my people travel to and from the island. Underwater, it isn't subjected to the same forces and currents that make it difficult for boats to leave. We haven't used it recently, and it is in need of some maintenance, which should take a week, but after that it's yours."

Jack: "Why should I trust you on this?"

Ben: "Because I'm giving you my word. Let's shake on it."

Ben extends his hand, and Jack shakes it, suspicious that it was this easy.

Juliet returns from washing up, and the men all stare at her, forgetting all about the operation.

Juliet: "Um, you do remember there's a surgical procedure to perform?"

Jack: "Oh, right. We'll need general anesthesia for this."

Ethan: "I can take care of that. How long does Ben have to be out?"

Jack: "Four hours should do it."

Ethan takes a reflex hammer from a shelf. "I think I know how hard to hit him in the head to keep him unconscious for four hours."

Ben: "Ethan! Are you insane?"

Ethan: "That seems to be the popular opinion around here."

Juliet: "We have some real anesthesia over here."

Ethan: "Lighten up; I was just kidding."

Ben: "Enough of that. Jack, Juliet and Ethan will assist you and do everything you ask of them. Let's get on with this."

Ben lies face down on the operating table. Juliet injects him in the arm with the real anesthetic. Ben quickly loses consciousness. Jack opens the back of Ben's hospital gown and does the procedure.

* * *

Back at the Swan, the passengers are milling around. Emma and Zach notice Walt is missing, but find Michael.

Emma: "Where's Walt?"

Michael: "He's down in the exercise room, and he's going to stay there tonight. He was disrespectful to me, refusing to quit working out before he would hurt himself."

Emma and Zach snicker, and race down to the exercise room, laughing when they see Walt pinned to the floor on his back by the barbell over his neck.

Zach: "Hi Walt, how're you doing?"

Walt: "Okay. How are you?"

Zach: "I'm good. And I can more around freely."

Walt: "Hey, this isn't bad compared to what the Others did to me. I can move my arms and legs, see? And Bea isn't taking pictures of me."

Emma's face brightens up. "What a great idea! There's that camera that Desmond used at the wedding."

Emma runs off, and quickly returns with the camera.

Emma: "Smile, Walt."

Walt sticks his tongue out at her. She takes the picture.

Emma: "That makes a better picture anyway."

Walt: "Could you please get me that wrench on the wall and loosen the bolts holding the weights in place? Or hand it to me; maybe I can do it myself."

Zach: "Are you really stuck under there, or are you just playing?"

Walt: "I'm not playing!"

Walt pushes up against the barbell with all his might, but it still doesn't budge. Emma takes another picture with Walt's upper body muscles straining.

Walt: "So, are you going to help me?"

Emma: "I think the best way to help you is to make sure you learn the lesson your father wants you to."

Zach: "I agree."

Walt sighs: "Why am I not surprised?"

Emma and Zach leave, and soon Ana-Lucia and Eko walk by the exercise area, and look at Walt with surprise.

Ana-Lucia: "What are you doing down there?"

Walt: "I forgot to honor my father, so now I'm atoning for my sin."

Eko: "That's very good of you to recognize your shortcomings and accept the consequences of your actions."

Walt: "Uh, yeah."

Ana-Lucia: "Eko, how about a quick workout now?"

Eko: "I suppose we could use a little heavy exercise. It will seem odd with the sinner trapped over there."

Walt: "Oh, don't mind me. I won't get in your way."

Eko: "You are well on the way to redeeming yourself."

Eko and Ana-Lucia proceed to work out. Eko lifts nearly all of the weight plates on several stacks on the universal machine, while Ana-Lucia keeps maneuvering herself to be in position to watch Eko. After half an hour, when they are soaked in sweat, they leave to hit the showers, almost bumping into Sun and Jin outside the door, who see Walt inside. Since Sun has the medical responsibility in Jack's absence, she feels obligated to make inquiries.

Sun: "How are you, Walt?"

Walt: "Just dandy."

Sun: "Why are you lying on the floor like that?"

Walt: "I was sleepwalking last night. Dad figured this was a good way to keep me from sleepwalking tonight, and possibly hurting myself."

Sun: "Your father is brilliant! That's an excellent idea."

Jin: "You can tell your father really loves you. If I ever become a father I hope to do half as good a job as he does."

Sun trembles. "Let's go, Jin."

Sun and Jin walk off to a private spot in the woods.

Jin: "What's wrong?"

Sun: "Th-there's something, but it's difficult to say."

Jin: "It can't be that hard. It's not as if you're pregnant."

Sun's mouth opens, and she can't speak. Jin figures it out.

Jin: "You are pregnant! How did it happen?"

Sun: "What do you mean, 'how did it happen?' Can't you guess?"

Jin: "I mean … this is so exciting … why don't you look happier?"

Sun: "Those things they said … about those Others not being able to have children on this island …"

Jin: "Everything will be fine. Claire had her baby with no problem, and neither will you. Even if we still are on this island."

Sun: "But … being conceived on the island might make a difference."

Jin: "Then I'll swim to Fiji with you on my back if I have to."

Sun: "You can say the most romantic things."

* * *

Shannon, Boone, and Locke happen by the exercise room.

Shannon: "Walt, you look so adorable like that. What's going on?"

Walt: "I got a little kink in my back, and Dad and I figure it's best to make sure I sleep on a hard surface on my back tonight."

Boone: "You're lucky to have a father who takes such good care of you."

Walt: "Yeah, I know."

Locke: "I'm honored to have gotten to know him, and glad we became such good friends."

Walt: "That's great, John. You know, I've tried visualizing in my mind's eye how to get out from under this bar, and nothing worked. There's not enough room for my head or body to get through, I can't reach anything that would help, and these weights are too heavy. What's wrong?"

Locke: "I never said visualizing something in your mind's eye could accomplish the impossible. It only unlocks your potential."

Walt: "So what is my potential?"

Locke: "To get a night's sleep on a solid surface. I'm sure your back will be better in the morning."

Shannon, Boone, and Locke leave. A few minutes later Sawyer chances by the exercise room.

Sawyer: "What are you doing there?"

Walt: "Waiting for you to come up with some insulting nickname and leave me here."

Sawyer, in an affected voice: "Why, I believe I'm insulted. How do you know I wasn't going to show off my strength?"

Walt: "Because you're so predictable; you have your reputation to protect."

Sawyer: "Are you trying to use reverse psychology on me?"

Walt: "What else can I do? I told the Kwons this was to keep from sleepwalking, and they thought it was a good idea."

Sawyer: "Nice try, Sleepwalter. I have important things to think about."

Walt shouts: "That's rather lame for you; you're off your game. What's wrong with you, are you in love?"

Sawyer ignores Walt and ambles off thinking about Juliet. He bumps into Kate.

Kate: "What's up with you? You're distracted about something … or someone, right?"

Sawyer: "Not now, Sweetcheeks, I have to think."

Kate lets Sawyer go, and then sees Walt.

Kate: "Walt, what are you doing down there?"

Walt sighs: "I dissed Dad, and he tricked me into getting this barbell on me to teach me a lesson. Would you help me get it off?"

Kate: "Maybe. What got into Sawyer?"

Walt: "I think he's crazy about Juliet."

Kate: "Juliet went with Jack a little while ago to operate on Ben."

Walt: "Yeah, I know. Jack and Sawyer could get into a fight over Juliet."

Kate: "They're supposed to be fighting over me."

Walt: "Well, things change. But you'll still be around for the loser."

Kate: "Walt! That's a horrible thing to say to a woman!"

Walt: "Sorry. Um, the loser will still be around for you?"

Kate: "That's not much better."

Walt: "You're not going to help me out of this now, are you?"

Kate: "You need to learn to think before you speak. Now you've upset me."

Kate storms off to think things over. A short time later Hurley and Libby come by the exercise room.

Hurley: "Hey, Little Dude, what'cha doing?"

Walt: "Oh, Dad found out that I really am an alien and put this heavy weight over me until he figures out what to do with me."

Libby: "It's good to hear that man finally came to his senses. Hurley, let's get out of here."

Hurley: "Whatever you wish, dear. Sounds like a good idea."

Hurley and Libby walk away.

Walt shouts after them, "Hey, did you think I was serious?" but there is no reply.

* * *

Jack completes the surgery, and stitches up Ben. Since it is late, Ben sleeps on the operating table, while Jack, Juliet, and Ethan sleep on chairs and sofas in the Staff. When morning comes, Ben is feeling much better, and sits up.

Jack: "The surgery was a smashing success, of course, thanks to me. How are you feeling?"

Ben: "Pretty good, actually. Thank you very much for your services."

Jack: "You're welcome. Be sure to give me glowing reviews when you get the chance. But this was major surgery; you need to take it easy for a few days."

Ben: "I understand. And when I'm up to it, I'll go back to our village and get the submarine in order."

Jack: "Great. Now I have to get back to my fellow passengers."

Ben: "Of course. Have something to eat first, and then Ethan will take you back."

Juliet: "I can take Jack back."

Ben: "I need Juliet here so she can report on what she saw at your camp."

Juliet: "Are you sure you just don't want to keep me around here so you can look at me?"

Ben: "I hadn't thought of that, but it could help my convalescence."

Juliet: "Nobody believes you didn't think of that."

Ben: "Whatever, I need you here now. You can go the next time we need to send a message to them in person."

Jack: "I think I can find my way back on my own."

Ben: "We can't risk anything happening to you, in case there're post-operation problems of some sort."

Jack: "Fine, whatever."

They have Dharpa brand coffee and cereal, and then Jack and Ethan head back to the Swan.

Ben: "Okay, Juliet, let's hear your report."

Juliet: "I wish I had visited them much sooner. The men are so much more attractive in person. Jack is the handsomest doctor ever. Boone is awfully cute, with the most gorgeous hair. Sayid has that dark, handsome look, and all that wonderful chest hair. Has a cool accent and really gives the impression of being a man of the world. Jin doesn't have any chest hair, but that only shows off his fine muscles very well. He has a very well-proportioned body. Michael is a rock; you can tell he's kept up building things and maintained those well-developed muscles from all his construction work. Desmond is very athletic – just what you'd expect from someone on a sail-around-the-world contest. He also has a charming accent. Then there's Eko, with that massive chest, and shoulders and arms. Most striking religious man I've ever seen. And John Locke is really pretty sexy for his age. And Hurley – well, he has a nice personality, and it's a good thing that the only male shirt those Oceanics have is his. John was wearing an open buttonless boarskin vest, which really makes him look attractive in a way befitting his age. But Sawyer – that gorgeous body, that charming Southern drawl, that wonderful long blond hair – oooh, I could look at him forever."

Ben coughs. "Did you find out anything useful, like what plans they have?"

Juliet: "I wasn't in a position to ask questions, but they seemed pretty clueless in general. Remember as soon as we met they tied me to a tree and left me there for several hours while they questioned me."

Ben: "I really wish I could have seen that."

Juliet: "Will you stop saying that if I hold my hands behind this chair like I was tied to it?"

Juliet sits down and holds her hands behind the back edges of the char.

Ben: "Yes."

Juliet rolls her eyes.

Ben: "Now what about the rest of the survivors. There are women and children, you know."

Juliet: "Oh, right. The kids are adorable, and still look like they did when we saw them walking away after the earthquake and were in good spirits. Walt appears to have suffered no lasting damage, though he did get a big kick out of seeing me tied up. The women, well some didn't care for the way the men were looking at me. Most of them were in skimpy two-piece outfits – Kate, Shannon, Ana-Lucia, let's see, I guess Libby and Cindy still had tops that were mostly intact."

Ben: "Then that gives us something to look forward to. But you left out a few: Claire, Charlie, Rose and Bernard."

Juliet: "I didn't see them. They could have been on button-pushing duty, or maybe a pair was on a honeymoon cruise."

Ben: "How sweet. As long as they stay away from the Looking Glass."

* * *

Claire and Charlie sleep late. When he gets up, Charlie easily sees the metal structure about eight meters below the clear water's surface, but at an angle. He makes up his mind. He pulls up the anchor, and maneuvers the sailboat over the object. He lets the anchor drop until it hits the top of the structure, and then moves it so that the rope hangs along the side.

Claire: "What are you doing?"

Charlie: "I have to do this. It's the only way to save you and Aaron."

Claire: "What about you?"

Charlie: "I think I'll be all right. But it's more important for you and Aaron to get off this island than me."

Claire: "But what exactly are you doing?"

Charlie: "There's a jamming mechanism down there that's interfering with our radio signals. I'm going to shut it off, and then we'll get rescued."

Claire: "Wait a minute. When we first crashed, in the first few days, you couldn't help that girl Joanna who almost drowned because you couldn't swim."

Charlie: "Well, I'm an excellent swimmer now, despite never having practiced. That incident was so long ago everybody probably forgot. Everybody but you, anyway."

Claire: "Well, okay then. Be careful."

Charlie: "I will. I'll need this."

Charlie takes the radio he has and places it in a hermetically sealable bag, and seals it. He takes a deep breath, and dives overboard. He pulls himself along the anchor rope, and finds an opening under the underwater station. He climbs up a ladder, looks around, and goes into a room where he hears a quiet beeping. There is a porthole on one side of the room, on the wall to the right of the door. He turns on the radio.

Charlie: "Sayid? Are you there?"

Sayid: "Charlie? Where are you?"

Charlie: "I'm in the underwater station. Now what do I have to do?"

Sayid: "You were supposed to wait for more of us to assemble a plan."

Charlie: "But this is my destiny. It was Desmond's vision."

Sayid: "Hold on, I can barely hear you. I'm going to try to get better reception."

Sayid moves around, and finds the best reception in the exercise room, where he trips over Walt who is sleeping, still pinned under the 200-pound barbell.

Walt wakes up, tries to sit up, and finds he can't. He remembers where he is, and thinks, _After a good night's sleep, I ought to be able to lift this._ Walt pushes with all his might, but the bar doesn't budge. _Crud._ "Is that you, Sayid? You're strong; can you please get this off me?"

Sayid: "No time, I have to talk to Charlie."

Sayid leaves Walt squirming under the barbell and finds the optimal point for reception.

Sayid: "Charlie, since you're there, there's probably a device with a keypad on which you have to enter a code."

Charlie: "Ah, I found it. Do you know what the code is?"

Sayid: "Of course not. Maybe we can get it from Juliet the next time we see her, but I doubt she knows what the code is. She didn't mention it when she blurted out all that other information."

Bonnie: "The code is the first eight notes of 'You All Everybody'."

Charlie jumps and turns around to see two women at the door.

Greta: "Why did you tell him that?"

Bonnie: "It won't do him any good. We'll change the code after he leaves."

Bonnie holds up a crossbow and points it at Charlie.

Greta: "You know we're not supposed to kill him."

Bonnie: "But we are allowed to injure him. The island will heal him quickly. Now you, step away from the console."

Charlie backs away. "Is that really a crossbow? Does anyone still use those things?"

Bonnie: "This is a very accurate and powerful weapon. I'll demonstrate with a warning shot."

Greta: "No, that thing might hit something important."

Great jostles Bonnie, messing up her aim as the crossbow bolt is fired directly at the porthole. It smashes through the porthole, and water starts gushing into the room. The structure shakes, and Bonnie and Greta stagger back. Charlie alertly rushes to the door and slams it shut. The pressure from the rising water would make it impossible to force the door back open.

* * *

Ethan takes Jack to a point fairly close to the Swan Station.

Jack: "I can certainly find my way back from here. Now would you please leave?"

Ethan: "Gladly. I've had enough of your holier-than-thou attitude."

Jack: "I didn't kidnap people and do all sorts of experiments against their will. What kind of doctor are you?"

Ethan: "I'm one who works for the greatest good. Or I could be a mad doctor."

Ethan leaves, and Jack enters the Swan station. He hears some commotion downstairs, and rushes in. He first sees Walt struggling under the heavy barbell.

Jack: "What's going on here?"

Walt: "I was bad and Dad had to punish me, but Sayid says there's something important about Charlie."

Jack hears Sayid talking on the radio, and rushes at the Iraqi to hear:

Sayid: "What's going on?"

Charlie: "Two women came by, and gave me the code. They shot a crossbow bolt through the porthole, water is pouring into the room, but I locked them out. Each key on this keypad produces a musical note. The code is the first eight notes of 'You All Everybody'."

Sayid: "How do you know where to start?"

Charlie: "Didn't find that out. But the choice is narrowed so that the low and high notes must between the pitches of the one and zero keys. That means it has to start from somewhere between 2 and 8. I'll just try them all."

Jack: "Charlie! You're locked in a room with rising water gushing in from a porthole? Find a way out of there!"

Charlie: "I have to do this. The porthole is a little over halfway up from the floor, about head-high. I have time to do this."

Charlie puts the radio on a high shelf and pushes the buttons on the console keypad as the water rises above his waist, and then chest, and then neck.

Jack: "Charlie! You can't die! I can't have anyone die when I'm the doctor here!"

The first six attempts fail. Charlie enters the code starting with the "8." As he pushes the last button, a very loud click is heard on the radio in Sayid's hand.

Sayid: "He did it! We can transmit on all frequencies now."

Jack: "That's great, but … CHAARRRRLLLLIIIEEEEE! ANSWER ME!"


	56. Laws of Physics

Inside the Swan, Jack's screams bring everyone else down to the exercise room.

Kate: "What's the matter?"

Jack: "Charlie's trapped in a locked room in an underwater structure with water pouring through the porthole, and it's going to fill with water and drown him! Then I'll have failed as a doctor in keeping everyone alive!"

* * *

Inside the Looking glass, Charlie has just entered the code that stopped the jamming of the radio signals. The water level reaches the bottom of the porthole. Charlie paddles over to the high shelf where he put the radio.

Charlie: "I think I did it. Can you tell over there?"

Sayid: "Yes, it worked. All hailing frequencies are clear now."

Jack interrupts. "Charlie! You didn't have to sacrifice yourself like that!"

Charlie: "Hi Jack. It was my destiny to do this, and I haven't sacrificed myself."

Jack: "But … but you'll drown in a few minutes."

Charlie: "I'm not going to drown. Are you trying to make a bad joke?"

Jack: "Joke? No, are you delirious? When that room fills all the way with water, there'll be no air for you to breathe."

Charlie: "Oh come on Jack, there's no need to insult my intelligence. I may not have your fancy medical degrees, but I did go to school."

Jack: "Huh? What do you mean?"

Charlie sighs. "Do I have to spell it out for you? This room is pretty air-tight. At this depth the water can only rise a little past the top of the porthole. At that point the pressure from the air trapped in the top of the room will balance the water pressure from outside. Air won't be able to escape through the porthole."

Jack looks stunned and bewildered.

Shannon giggles. "Jack, you really thought the water would rise to the ceiling? That's an elementary school science experiment."

Sayid: "Aren't you familiar with the principles behind an old-fashioned diving bell?"

Hurley: "Yeah, dude, the air in an inverted bowl can't escape when the diving bell dives. I've seen that in old sci-fi movies when they're exploring something on the ocean floor."

Sawyer: "Wow, Doctor Dimwit, maybe you've watched too many dumb movies or TV shows where idiotic writers put in that stupid cliché and expect viewers to accept that garbage without thinking."

Kate: "Well, a lot of TV audiences are rather ignorant about the laws of physics."

Jack: "But … but … Charlie, you still have to get out of there. The oxygen will run out …"

Charlie: "Calm down. The porthole looks big enough for me to squeeze through. Once the water stops pouring in I won't have to fight a current. Besides, there are lots of tools in this room. I should be able to use something, let's see, a file, and a spanner I can use to loosen the bolts of the ring around the porthole and make it wider, ah, here's a hacksaw. The water's pretty much stopped rising now. I should have a couple hours if I need them, as long as I keep calm."

Michael: "Keep calm then, Charlie. And Jack, that sort of thing sometimes happens in construction. A valve bursts, and a basement fills with water from a pipe, but the water level stops when it reaches the top of the pipe."

Emma: "We did an experiment like that in school. You put a paper cup upside-down in a tank of water, and punch a hole in its side."

Walt: "Yeah, we did that experiment last year in school in Australia. It was pretty cool."

Michael is slightly startled, and looks down where the last voice came from. He sees his son is still pinned to the floor by the barbell.

Michael: "Oh, Walt, you're awake. How did you sleep?"

Walt: "Very well, thank you. It sure straightened out my back and kept me from sleepwalking."

Michael: "Your back? Sleepwalking? What are you talking about?"

Walt: "I made up some reasons when people asked me why I was lying under this barbell."

Michael: "Those are pretty good reasons."

Eko: "Did you bear false witness again?"

Walt, exasperated. "Yes! I was just trying to be entertaining. And I told you the truth about not honoring my father." Walt turns to Michael. "Now since it's morning, isn't that long enough?"

Michael: "Actually, it's noon."

Walt: "You let me sleep under here until noon?"

Michael: "I came by earlier, but you were so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you."

Walt: "Gee thanks. Now can you please get these weights off me?"

Libby: "Don't! You can't let the alien loose."

Michael: "I thought you had it right by now; Walt isn't an alien."

Libby: "He confessed last night."

Walt: "I was just kidding!"

Michael ponders the situation, and comes up with the best solution. "No, I won't get those weights off you."

Walt: "What?"

Michael: "You can get them off you by yourself."

Michael strides to the wall, takes off the wrench that can loosen the bolts on the collars on the barbell, and drops the wrench on Walt's stomach. Seeing what is happening, Walt's mood brightens considerably. He tenses his abs in time to have the wrench bounce, to Emma's delight. Walt takes the wrench in his right hand, and scoots over to the right, trying to reach around the weights.

Walt: "They're too many weights. I can't reach that collar."

Locke: "Yes you can, Walt. This you definitely can do. Visualize the correct procedure in your mind's eye."

Walt closes his eyes, and concentrates.

Zach: "Hey Mr. D., if Walt can't get out, can I paint "WIMP" on his chest?"

Emma: "Be more original. Can I paint his toenails?"

Michael: "Whatever you want, he deserves it."

Walt: "Hey!"

Emma: "And is there lipstick in this place?"

Desmond: "Kelvin had some stuff like that before he disappeared mysteriously. I guess it's still around … let's see … ah, here. Hot pink lipstick, and I guess lime green nail polish."

Emma: "I think Walt would look great with pink lipstick and green toenails."

Zach: "I think he'd look better with pink toenails and green lipstick."

Walt: "No!" With the additional motivation of not getting drawn on, Walt's concentration intensifies. "I got it! I can twist my body this way, and now there's a better angle for my arm, there! I can touch the collar with the end of the wrench. Now to figure out which way to turn it … visualize … ugh." Walt thinks some more. "I only have to turn the bolt a little way, enough so I can push one weight off at a time."

Locke: "Very good Walt."

Boone: "Enough of that. Jack, didn't you come back from Ben's surgery? How did that go?"

Jack: "It went splendidly. It had to, because I'm the world's best spinal surgeon. And what's more, he promised us the use of a submarine to get off this island. It was damaged a little in the earthquake, and will be ready in a week."

Ana-Lucia: "That's wonderful, but I trust that guy only as far as I can throw him. I take that back, I don't trust him nearly that far."

Jack: "He seemed completely honest, and I believe him."

Kate: "You also believed Ethan for a long time."

Jack: "I've learned from that experience."

Sawyer: "One detail, Captain Nemo. Do you know how to operate a submarine?"

Jack looks dumbfounded. "Oops. Uhh, Sayid, you're the military type. Can't you operate a submarine?"

Sayid: "Iraq is not exactly a major naval power, and I was in a division of the army. Besides, the operation of a submarine large enough to hold us all requires a complement of several highly trained people."

Sun: "Jin is an experienced fisherman. He's good with boats."

Jin: "A submarine is very different from the fishing boats I worked on. Those were closer to Desmond's sailboat."

Shannon: "Maybe it comes with an instruction manual."

Sayid: "Good thought, but it if it's complicated it might take a few weeks to operate it safely."

Locke: "We need to be careful about this. Let's not rush into anything without knowing exactly what we're getting into."

Jack: "Are you sure you want to get off this island?"

Locke: "The time and circumstances must be right. The island will let us know."

Jack: "You and your island telling us everything." Jack remembers what is more important. "Charlie, how's it going?"

Charlie: "Cutting through the hull with the hacksaw may take a while. But I found a box of explosives. It's got some grenades … "

Jack: "Can you set off the grenade outside next to the porthole to make the hole bigger?"

Sayid: "Don't be silly, Jack, grenades don't work underwater."

Charlie: "There's also some stuff here labeled 'C4'."

Sayid: "That's more promising. Is there a detonator cord and blasting cap?"

Charlie: "Yes, and a detonator, in some waterproof bags. Everything's here."

Sayid: "Then you can try sticking a small amount, a few cubic centimeters, of C4 to the wall, insert the detonator cord with the blasting cap attached, dive under the water , and set off the detonator."

Charlie: "Right, I'll get on it right away." Charlie follows all of Sayid's instructions.

Locke: "Charlie gets to blow up stuff? Why don't I get to blow stuff up?"

Jack: "Because the island hasn't told you to?"

Locke: "It must be that my time hasn't come yet. I must be more alert to the possibilities."

While everyone is waiting for word on Charlie's progress, Walt manages to turn the weight collar bolt a quarter turn, which is enough to loosen it so that he can push it off the end of the barbell. Then he wedges the wrench between the two outermost fifteen-pound weights, and with some wriggling manages to push the last weight off the end. He repeats the process, soon being able to use his hand to push off the weights one at a time until there is one left. Then he scoots over to the left to work at loosening the weight collar on that side.

Zach: "Why don't you push off the last weight on this side and slide off that way?"

Emma: "Shut up. This is fun watching him squirm."

Walt: "I'll get a little more screen time this way. But more importantly, I can lift this when there's only one weight on each side. That's how I want to get out of this at the end, and maintain my dignity."

Sawyer: "You can't maintain your dignity after you've lost it all, Dignity-Be-Gone."

Walt: "Fine. I want to recover a small amount of my dignity."

It is a bit more awkward duplicating the procedures for loosening the weight collar and weights using his left hand, but Walt eventually manages to do so. With one weight on each side of the barbell, Walt lifts the barbell off his neck and sets it down on the floor over his head. He staggers to his feet, and is wobbly for a few seconds before recovering his balance. He takes a triumphant bow.

Libby: "The alien is getting loose!"

Hurley: "Libby dear, Walt isn't an alien."

There is suddenly a loud bang on the radio.

Jack: "Charlie! What happened?"

Charlie: "It worked. The hole's big enough for Hurley to get through now, and there's at least half a meter of space between the top of the hole and the ceiling. The water's pouring in faster now, but it will stop like before. Got to go now; talk to you once I'm back on the sailboat."

The water level reaches the top of the hole in the wall, and the current settles down. Charlie takes a deep breath, pushes himself out, grabs the rope to which the anchor is attached, and pulls himself up along it. Once he reaches the surface, he takes several more great gulps of air, and then hauls himself onto the sailboat.

Claire: "How'd it go?"

Charlie: "Quite swimmingly, I should say. I got in, entered a code onto a console keypad, and interrupted the jamming device. I did get into a spot of trouble when these two ladies shot out a porthole with a crossbow and I was trapped in a room that was filling with water, but was able to blast a bigger hole and swim through that."

Claire: "That's wonderful, dear. Now can we enjoy the rest of our honeymoon?"

Charlie: "Of course. I just have to check back in with the others; they're worried about me."

Claire: "Go ahead. I'm sure they won't leave us alone until you do."

Charlie turns on the radio again. "Hi y'all, I'm back on board."

Jack: "That's great. I feel so much better now that my reputation remains intact."

Charlie: "Then you'll leave us alone for a few days?"

Jack: "Yes. Just don't do anything life-threatening."

Charlie: "I think we can manage that. Ta-ta."

* * *

Back on the Looking Glass, Greta and Bonnie have a discussion.

Greta: "That didn't work out very well."

Bonnie: "Are we going to tell Ben?"

Greta: "He'll find out eventually."

Bonnie: "And he'll be madder if he hears about this from someone else."

They call Ben on their radio. Juliet answers, glad to get up from her position pretending to be tied to a chair.

Juliet: "Hello?"

Greta: "Is Ben there? We have some unfortunate news."

Juliet: "Ben is recovering from spinal surgery, and shouldn't be subjected to stress just now. Why don't you tell me about it?"

Bonnie: "Well, Charlie broke into the Looking Glass, I gave him the code while holding him at crossbow-point, but Greta bumped me and the bolt went off, breaking a porthole. Water began filling the room."

Juliet: "Oh dear. But of course it would stop when it reached the top of the porthole."

Greta: "Of course. But Charlie entered the code, and blew a larger hole in the wall with some C4 and got out. Our jamming device was compromised, and a bunch of stuff doesn't work here any more."

Juliet: "Bummer."

Bonnie: "What should we do?"

Juliet: "Patch up the hole, pump out the water, and fix everything."

Greta: "That will take a lot of time."

Juliet: "You have a lot of time. You don't have anything else to do for ages."

The call ends, and Greta and Boone find a large piece of metal to use as a patch. It will have to be applied to the outside, and welded into place. This will indeed take ages, and they are out of the picture for a long time.

* * *

Back at the Staff,

Ben: "Who was that?"

Juliet: "Greta and Bonnie. They wish you well."

Ben: "I don't remember informing them about my surgery."

Juliet: "I just told them. They called to report a minor leak in the Looking Glass. I told them to patch it up and carry on."

Ben: "You sure it wasn't more serious than that?"

Juliet: "You know you should avoid stress now." _Darn Hippocratic Oath. How do I not harm the patient? Sigh._ Juliet walks over to a support column and holds her hands behind it. "This is more like a tree. This is more how it was when I was questioned. Think about this instead of micromanaging everything." _Ethan, you better get back here soon._

Ben is distracted, and forgets the incident at the Looking Glass.

* * *

At the Swan, a potential crisis is looming.

Libby: "The alien has got you all fooled. We're all in danger as long as he's around."

Jack: "I think it's best that Walt and Libby stay apart for the next several days. Sun, how long will it be before you can make more of that serum that cures Libby?"

Sun: "It should be five or six days. And I agree those two should be separated."

Walt: "That's cool. Can I show Emma and Zach some of the things I saw on my walkabouts, Dad? Like that funny ship? This might be our last week on the island, and it will be neat to show them all I can. And do you want to come along?"

Michael: "Oh, I promised Claire and Charlie I'd make a wedding portrait based on the digital photos we took on their wedding."

Walt: "I understand. Emma and Zach, what do you say?"

Zach: "We don't need adult supervision. We proved that when we rescued Walt."

Emma: "My brother is right for a change."

Libby: "The alien is influencing you two."

Kate: "Do any adults want to accompany them?"

There is dead silence.

Locke: "I trained them well. And Eko and I have to do some exploring and soul-searching together. But don't be shocked if this does not turn out to be our last week here."

Michael: "Okay, but here are some rules. You must stay on our side of that blue line. Don't try to cover your tracks, so it will be easy to find you if necessary. And don't let any strangers tie you up, or handcuff you, or anything like that."

Walt: "I promise, Dad."

Emma: "We'll look out for each other."

Michael: "Say, how about you carry a knife?"

Libby: "No! You can't put a weapon in the hands of the alien!"

Walt: "Thanks Dad, but I don't need one."

Michael: "All right then. Let's have a good lunch together here, and then off you go."

* * *

In the kitchen, Jack fills a sink with water, then takes an empty plastic bottle, turns it upside-down, and forces it to the bottom of the sink, completely submerging the bottle. Then he punctures the side of the bottle with a knife, and watches as air bubbles up for a few seconds, and then stops. The bottle fills with water from the bottom, but stops when it reaches the top of the puncture. Jack reluctantly admits, _I guess they were all right. Where could the air above the hole go? I did watch too many silly shows._

* * *

Once the excitement over Charlie is over, Sayid goes outside to try to make contact with the radio. He tries many frequencies before hearing something encouraging.

Sayid: "Mayday, mayday, can anyone here us?"

Through a lot of static, a voice his heard on the radio: "Who is this?"

Sayid: "We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!";

Voice on Radio: "Don't mess with us. That flight crashed into the Pacific two months ago with no survivors."

Sayid: "No! We landed on an island, and are stranded. Please help us."

Voice on Radio: "What is your position?"

Sayid: "I figure about 4 degrees south latitude, 176 degrees east longitude."

Voice on Radio: "Your transmission is fading. We will investigate."

Sayid realizes the battery on his radio is dying.

Sayid: "Please hurry!"

His radio then goes silent.


	57. The Woman from the Parachute

In the Swan, Sayid has an announcement. "The radio battery died, but I did make contact. And we still have the radio Charlie has, when he and Claire are finished with their honeymoon. I think we should carry on as normal. Well, normal for us, anyway."

Jack is a bit shaken over his lapse in physics knowledge. Desmond tries to console him.

Desmond: "You all right, Jack?"

Jack: "I don't know. I seem to have lost it back there for a while."

Desmond: "Anything I can do to help?"

Jack: "Maybe. I thought you had a vision of Charlie and Claire before they left. Is that right?"

Desmond: "Aye, brother."

Jack: "And did you see Charlie in a room with rising water?"

Desmond: "Aye."

Jack: "That's the impression I got when I heard about Charlie in that underwater room. But … does this mean your vision didn't come true?"

Desmond: "No, it doesn't. I only saw Charlie in water up to his neck, with the water rising, but the vision only lasted a second or two. I didn't see the water rising clear up to the ceiling."

Jack: "Oh. I guess I jumped to a conclusion I shouldn't have. I need to remember that I'm supposed to be a man of science, and depend on my wonderful education and training. But these visions of yours coming true – I can't see a rational explanation for them. It's affecting me somehow."

Desmond: "I can't explain it, but I've come to accept it. You might remain more sane if you do."

Jack: "I think I'll be the most sane once we're off this island. Now did you have any more visions?"

Desmond: "Yes – I saw Claire and Aaron getting onto a submarine."

Jack: "Just them getting on? Not necessarily riding away from here on it?"

Desmond: "That's right. These visions only last a couple seconds. There's no telling what happens after they get on, though I'm certain at some point in time they will."

Jack: "Could it be far into the future?"

Desmond: "No, Aaron was still a baby. This vision should come true in much less than a month, I should say."

Jack: "Then I think I know what I must do."

Desmond: "What's that?"

Jack: "Learn how to operate Ben's submarine."

* * *

Ethan makes it back to the Staff as the sun sets. Ethan sees Juliet standing with her hands behind a pole, and it looks like Ben is sleeping.

Ethan: "Jack got back fine all right. What are you doing?"

Juliet: "Ben kept annoying me until I did this. He was really disappointed that he couldn't see me being interrogated."

Ethan: "Is he asleep now?"

Juliet: "Maybe. Let's walk away quietly."

Ethan and Juliet go into another room in the Staff.

Juliet: "There's something I have to tell you. I got a message from Greta and Bonnie. They said Charlie broke into the Looking Glass, turned off the jamming device, and got away. Now there could be contact with the outside world. I didn't tell Ben because that would upset him in his convalescence."

Ethan: "Bummer. What should we do?"

Juliet: "Ben may be well enough to travel back to the village tomorrow. Then someone would have to tell him."

Ethan: "I suppose you'd like that to be me?"

Juliet bats her eyes at Ethan. "Oh, would you?"

Ethan is mesmerized by Juliet's eyes. "I'd be delighted."

Juliet: "Great. Now let's all get some sleep." _I can't keep going on like this. I'll have to make a run for it very soon._

* * *

Morning comes. Jack seeks out Desmond again in the hatch.

Jack: "I've been thinking. To really be convinced you see things, I'd like you to foresee an event in my future."

Jack reaches out to shake Desmond's hand. Desmond takes it, but his face reveals nothing.

Desmond: "It doesn't work like that. I can't control when I see things, and I just don't see anything for you."

Jack: "Figures."

Hurley pops by. "Hey dudes, I found the gasoline. I'm going to fill the tank of the Edsel, and take it for a spin. Who wants to come?"

Libby: "A nice ride in the countryside might do me a lot of good. And I've never been in an Edsel before."

Rose: "Bernard and I have been out of the action for a while."

Bernard: "My wife deserves a chauffeur-driven ride. And I remember when Edsels came out. Never thought I'd be in one."

Hurley: "Great. And now we'll be able to get back and forth between the beach and the hatch a lot more quickly. Let's go."

Hurley gets a container of gasoline that came on the parachute drop, and he, Libby, Rose, and Bernard hike to the Edsel. Hurley fills the gas tank, they all get in the car, and it starts up rather well.

Hurley: "Cowabunga!"

Hurley drives around, having to make his way between trees on many occasions, but eventually finds a good path to the beach, and then to the Swan Station.

Libby: "Didn't the gas tank needle move toward 'empty' kind of quickly?"

Bernard: "These things were not noted for their great gas mileage. That's a reason why they didn't sell well."

Rose: "But more than that, they were too ugly and expensive."

Hurley: "Well, price is not an object now. I wonder if I can do an extreme makeover on a car?"

* * *

Back in the Swan, Locke and Eko are getting ready to go on their quest, when Desmond brushes against Locke, and Desmond's face goes blank.

Locke: "What is it?"

Desmond: "I just saw something about you. It was an exclamation point near an airplane on the ground."

Locke: "You mean the plane we crashed in?"

Desmond: "No, it was in the middle of the jungle."

Locke: "Thank you. I now know what I have to do."

Locke finds Eko. "Are you ready for our quest?"

Eko: "Yes. You act like you know something."

Locke: "Yes, I know where we should go. Let's get moving."

Boone happens along. "Hey John, what happened to us hanging out?"

Locke: "You had your turn. I have to spend some time with the new guy. I'm sure you understand."

Boone: "I guess so." Boone shuffles out outside aimlessly.

Locke and Eko head for the crashed Beechcraft that almost got Boone killed. It will take more than the rest of the day to get there.

* * *

Walt, Emma, and Zach wake up amongst the roots of a banyan tree where they spend the night. They are close to the Purple Pebble, and Walt takes them the rest of the way.

Zach: "Neat! Is that a pirate ship?"

Walt: "It's got to be. This ship is strange. It contains a lot of fake dynamite, like this one somebody, probably John, left, with a flag that says "Bang!".

Emma and Zach note the shackles set in the walls.

Emma: "Are these shackles then fake, too?"

Public Service Announcement: The scene about to take place has been deleted because it is just plain too stupid. We continue with the next scene.

Walt: "And up here is a gang plank. You can walk the plank and jump into that pile of leaves."

Walt demonstrates gracefully, burying himself in the leaves. Zach follows very quickly, and a few seconds later, so does Emma. They play in the leaves for an hour, and then head north to explore new territory.

* * *

Michael goes off by himself to paint Claire and Charlie's wedding portrait as promised, based on an image from the digital camera Desmond had found in the hatch. He is forgotten about all day.

* * *

Boone is ambling around to the northwest of the hatch when he hears something out of the ordinary. _That's … a helicopter!_ Boone scrambles up a hill to get a better look. He gets a glimpse of the helicopter flying away, but not before something is expelled from it. Something that is falling quickly. Boone attempts to figure out where it will land, and heads there.

* * *

Naomi jumps from the helicopter, counts ten seconds, and pulls the rip cord on her parachute. Unfortunately, it doesn't open, damaged by the helicopter crossing into the region of space affected by the island. Naomi hurtles to the ground, alert enough to realize that she still has a chance with her reserve parachute. She pulls on that rip cord. The reserve chute doesn't open either – at first. Then it partially opens, but she is plummeting too fast. She plunges toward a tall tree with sharp branches. Spinning out of control, she is headed head first toward a branch that is aligned in such a way that it would pierce her lung. Then at the last picosecond she twists her body just enough. Instead of piercing her lung, the branch catches in the neck of her camouflage top and rips through the back. She falls with such force that the branch shreds the camouflage top and completely rips it off, leaving her in just a black sports bra above the waist. She falls through the tree, with her feet catching in the lines of the reserve parachute, which themselves get tangled amongst the tree branches. She stops four centimeters before hitting the ground, suspended upside down with many cuts on her upper body.

Boone races toward where he saw the object falling from the sky. After a few minutes of frantic searching he finds Naomi and gasps at the sight, thinking _Va-va-va-voom!_ He shakes his head and snaps out of it.

Boone: "Hello, can you hear me?"

There is no answer. Boone thinks back to Rose the day of the airplane crash and about mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and then notices the woman before his eyes is breathing. He shakes her shoulder, and Naomi stirs.

Naomi: "What … what happened? Who are you?"

Naomi's impulse is to take a swing at Boone, but she is too disoriented to land an effective punch.

Boone: "My name is Boone, and I think you just fell out of a helicopter. Let's get you down from there."

Boone reaches up and with his knife cuts the strings from the reserve parachute from around Naomi's combat boots. She lands gently on the ground, and lets Boone help her to her feet, but then notices something is missing.

Naomi: "What's with you? What did you to with my top?"

Boone: "I didn't do anything. Is that it up there?"

Naomi looks up, and sees her shredded camouflage shirt and the remnants of her parachute pack high in the tree. She slowly regains her senses, and remembers she must get important information.

Naomi: "What is this place?"

Boone: "This is the island that Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on two months ago. Did you hear our radio call?"

Naomi: "Flight 815 … tell me, is Benjamin Linus here?"

Boone: "Him? Ugh. Why would you care about him?"

Naomi can tell from Boone's reaction that Linus is around somewhere. Having obtained the essential information, she endeavors to allay any suspicion Boone might have. "Sorry, I was shaken up by the fall. My name is Naomi. I am here to rescue you. My employer thought Linus might be connected to your flight's disappearance."

Boone: "That's great! But you're bleeding. Let's get you to our hatch. We have a doctor who's been suffering from a uselessness complex and dying to treat someone for anything."

Naomi: "Fine. But I have to find something first."

Boone: "Your top? Sorry I don't have anything to offer you."

Naomi chuckles: "Sorry I snapped at you before. I could easily have been killed just then, so walking around like this temporarily is no big deal."

Boone: "Actually, if you're stuck here with us, that could be your outfit on a more permanent basis."

Naomi: "What are you talking about?"

Boone: "Lots of clothing, especially shirts, doesn't last long on this island, and we haven't been able to make new clothes. My friend John Locke has made a few garments out of boarskin, but that's been it. Fortunately we're near the equator, so it's always hot and we don't need much."

Naomi: "What an interesting experience. Actually, I'm looking for a satellite telephone, so I can contact the rest of my team. I was sent first because of my experience in this type of operation. There's a lot of unusual turbulence around your island, and we figured we'd only risk one of us for now."

Boone: "Well, if you're sure …"

They search for the phone, and with the advantage of knowing what it looks like, Naomi finds it. Before Boone sees her, she pushes some buttons, preventing some communication without knowing a code.

Naomi: "Found it!"

Boone: "Great. Is it working?"

Naomi: "It's damaged, but I think I can fix it if you have tools in this hatch of yours. It will still send out a homing signal, so if I don't make contact in a few days they'll probably send someone else."

Boone: "Still the best news we've heard in a long time. The hatch is this way."

Boone and Naomi walk toward the hatch. They happen to come across Shannon.

Boone to Naomi: "That's my sister Shannon."

Boone to Shannon: "Hi Shan. Did you hear that helicopter? This is Naomi, and she's here to rescue us."

Shannon stares at Naomi. Shannon is happy for Boone to be with another woman, and tries to find something nice to say. "That outfit of yours – camo pants, combat boots, and a sports bra – you have some sense of style!"

Naomi: "Why, thank you. And that bikini shows off your figure well. Your brother was saying something about you people have clothing issues?"

Shannon: "We've been long used to it. But you have someone coming here to rescue us?"

Naomi: "We have to make sure we can get back and forth. Our helicopter hit a lot of turbulence, and I have to find out what happened to it."

Some blood drips down Naomi's leg.

Shannon: "You're bleeding!"

Boone: "Yes, she fell into a tree when her parachute didn't open right. Is Jack around?"

Shannon: "I think so. Let's go to the hatch."

They approach the hatch and run into Kate. They make more introductions.

Kate: "Jack was pacing in the hatch a little while ago. He needs something to cheer him up, and an injured person is just the thing."

They enter the hatch and go downstairs. Naomi whispers to Boone: "Is that boarskin Kate is wearing?"

Boone: "Yes."

Naomi: "It looks good on her."

Boone: "A lot of us agree."

They find Jack, who is moping and pacing around.

Boone: "Jack, did you hear the helicopter?"

Jack: "Helicopter? No, I was in here. Who is that?"

Boone: "This is Naomi, and she's with some people who will rescue us, once some details with her radio and their helicopter get worked out. But she got some pretty bad scrapes landing in a tree."

Jack's face brightens. "I have to take care of you first. This way."

Jack has Naomi lie down on a table, and then gets medical supplies and treats her wounds. They aren't too serious, but Jack makes a big deal out of everything, and puts in several stitches in Naomi's arms and back.

Jack: "There, you should be fine now. Drink lots of fluids and get plenty of rest."

Naomi: "I'll do that. But I should contact my crew."

Naomi takes the satellite phone from a pocket in her camouflage pants, pushes some buttons, but does not get a signal. "The satellites must be out of position. This island wreaks havoc with these signals. I'll try again later."

The beeping sound starts. Jin and Sun rush by to enter the numbers.

Naomi: "What was that?"

Jin: "We have to push the buttons on a computer every 104 to 108 minutes or something bad will happen."

Sun: "Like the world might blow up, or we might not appear in an episode. We barely made it."

Naomi: "Sounds like it is hard to sleep in here."

Kate: "We take shifts, and you kind of get used to it. If someone gets it after a few beeps it isn't so bad."

Naomi: "Amazing how all of you survived so well under these conditions."

Naomi lies down on a bad, keeping her satellite phone in a pocket. The day ends quietly.


	58. Exclamation Point

Author's Note: This chapter includes a modified version of a transcript from lostpedia.

* * *

In the middle of the night, when no one can hear her, Naomi punches in the correct code on her satellite phone and calls the freighter from which she came.

Captain Gault: "Naomi! What's your status?"

Naomi: "I'm all right now. I had a rough landing; my reserve chute barely worked. I got some minor scratches but their doctor stitched me up."

Gault: "Good. Did you find out if Linus is on the island?"

Naomi: "Yes sir."

Gault: "Then we proceed with our plan. We need to stall for time, so we'll make a call the Oceanics can hear in the morning. We'll put George on, and have him say the helicopter was damaged, and it will take a few days to repair. Meanwhile we can pinpoint Linus's location."

Naomi: "Got it."

Gault: "One more thing. You know how Faraday insists that there's all kinds of things wrong with that island. Have you noticed anything besides the turbulence?"

Naomi: "Well, there is one thing. There's a severe clothing shortage here, and nearly everyone has lost their shirt."

Gault: "Guess you won't fit in very well."

Naomi: "To the contrary. My top was ripped off when I crashed through a tree with a partially open reserve chute. Fortunately my sports bra held up, but there's no clothing material here."

Gault: "Too bad this isn't a video radio. I'd like to see you."

Naomi rolls her eyes. "Talk to you later."

* * *

Morning comes, and after a couple hours Locke and Eko reach the Beechcraft.

Eko: "What exactly was that vision of Desmond's?"

Locke: "He said an exclamation point was visible near this plane."

Eko: "Maybe we could get a better view from the top of that cliff."

Locke: "Good idea. I really should exercise my legs more with something like climbing."

Locke and Eko climb the vines on the cliff face, and look out over the downed plane.

Eko: "Look at that! Beyond the tail of that plane, the vegetation is burned in a way that forms an exclamation point!"

Locke: "Fascinating. You don't notice that from the ground. This was definitely our destiny."

Eko: "So what do we do now?"

Locke: "I feel I am meant to do this. It's been too long since I threw a knife." Locke takes a knife from his pack, and flings it over the cliff into the middle of the exclamation point. He and Eko hear a clanging sound.

Eko: "That sounded like metal."

Locke: "I bet there's another underground hatch here. That's what we were meant to find."

Locke and Eko climb down the cliff, and dig around the area of the exclamation point. Soon they find a handle, and combined, they lift a metal door, which reveals a ladder descending down a cylindrical shaft. They reach a room, and turn on the lights. There are lots of computer terminals and monitors around. Another prominent feature is a red and white striped tube extending through the ceiling. There are also many light blue capsule-shaped containers scattered on the floor. Locke and Eko turn one of the computers on, and soon the screen flashes to life.

Locke: "Look! They got 'Grand Theft Auto' on this computer!"

Eko: "You're on."

Locke and Eko play the computer game for hours.

* * *

While walking randomly, Walt, Emma, and Zach see a tall object in the distance.

Emma: "What is that?"

Zach: "It looks like a giant candy cane."

Emma: "I don't think anyone makes candy canes that large."

Walt: "It does have red and white stripes like a real candy cane. We have to check this out."

They get closer, and see something else – a large pile of something under the curved end of the giant candy cane.

Emma: "What is that great big pile?"

Walt: "How should I know? I've never seen it before."

Zach: "You mean you don't know everything about this island?"

Walt: "Of course not. It's a big island. And it's not like those Others were going to tell me everything."

Emma: "Be reasonable, Zach."

Zach: "I was just kidding. Actually, it looks like a pile of some kind of capsules."

They reach the towering pyramid of light blue capsules, each about half a meter long and a decimeter in diameter. The pyramid is twenty-three meters high, and the candy-cane, which turns out to be a tube a little wider in diameter than the capsules, stands forty-two meters tall.

Walt: "It looks like these capsules came from the end of the candy cane tube."

Emma: "Wonder what's in them."

Zach: "Well, let's open some." Zach reaches for a capsule near the bottom of the pile.

Walt: "Be careful you don't disturb the pile and send it collapsing onto you."

Emma: "Why would that be bad?"

Walt: "Because … you're right, it wouldn't. Those things look light, and there'll be lots of air space in between them because of their shape. Go for it, Zach."

Emma: "I meant, why would it be bad if it fell onto Zach, not a random person."

Zach rolls his eyes, and picks out the capsule. To the disappointment of some, the pile does not collapse over him. "The end opens up like this, and there's some paper inside. Let's see what it is." Zach opens the tube, and finds a notebook. "What? This is one of those number puzzles."

Emma: "You mean 'Sudoku.'. Why would that be here?"

Walt takes out another tube. "This says 'I'm bored. Get me out of here!"

Emma takes another tube. "Mine says, 'Everything same as yesterday'."

Zach: "What do you think it means?"

Emma: "Looks like somebody got bored doing something, and resorted to doing puzzles."

* * *

In the Staff, Juliet has had time to think up her course of action. When morning comes, she asks Ethan, "Do you think Ben is well enough to handle the news?"

Ethan: "Ben is very tough. I'd say so."

After breakfast, Juliet makes her announcement.

Juliet: "Ben, I have some bad news. Please brace yourself."

Ben: "Consider me braced. What's the news?"

Juliet: "Bonnie and Clyde, oops, I mean Greta, radioed yesterday that Charlie Pace broke into the Looking Glass and stopped the jamming device. The Oceanics may be able to make contact with the outside world now."

Ben: "WHAT?"

Juliet: "Maybe it was too soon for you to handle the truth."

Ethan: "We could sedate him."

Ben: "No! I can handle the truth. We need to think of a plan."

Juliet: "Right. I think it's imperative that we send a spy to their camp and find out exactly what they were able to do."

Ben: "That makes sense. How did this happen?"

Juliet: "Boone, oops, I mean Bonnie, and Greta had Charlie at crossbow point and told him the code, but the crossbow went off, and smashed a porthole window. Charlie got the door closed, and had plenty of time to turn off the device, and then blast a bigger hole with some C4. I told them to make repairs, but that could take a while."

Ben frowns. "Something like this was bound to happen someday. You're right about infiltrating their camp again. But who could we use now?"

Juliet: "I don't think you or Ethan would be good choices."

Ben: "I have to agree on that. But that doesn't leave a lot of choices."

Juliet: "I can handle it. We can set up a cover story like I'm defecting. I'm sure I can make daily radio reports. We can hide a walkie-talkie like Ethan did. That worked out very well for a while."

Ethan: "Shouldn't we rough you up to make it look more like you're really defecting?"

Juliet: "That isn't necessary. We can compromise—you can muss up my hair."

Ben: "I'm the leader, if anyone's going to muss it should be me."

Ethan: "Can't we both do that?"

Ben and Ethan muss up Juliet's hair.

Juliet: "Thanks guys. I better go now. Good luck on your return trip."

Juliet leaves for the Swan carrying only a walkie-talkie, and Ben and Ethan head toward the Others' village.

Ethan: "I hate to bring this up, but do you think Juliet will try to defect for real?"

Ben: "Don't hate bringing this up; it's quite a rational concern. The possibility occurred to me. But she still has that sister and nephew she wants to see, and that will be a lot easier for her with my cooperation. But thanks for the concern."

* * *

The passengers at the Swan gather around the newcomer.

Naomi: "I think we can get a better signal now this time of day. Let's go outside."

Everyone present goes outside. Naomi pushes some buttons, and the satellite phone comes to life.

Naomi: "Hello? Come in please."

George Minkowski: "Hello, Naomi? This is George."

Boone: "You sound like the guy we heard on Sayid's radio two days ago."

George: "That was me. I'm a minor character, but at least I get a name now."

Naomi: "What's the situation over there?

George: "The helicopter suffered quite a bit of damage, and Frank says he never saw anything like it. We can repair it, but it may take a week. Daniel thinks he knows what we did wrong; in that we have to come in on a different angle."

Naomi: "Is the whole crew listening?"

George: "Just a minute."

There is a pause for a minute.

George: "We got Daniel, Charlotte, Miles, and Frank here, but we're not sure if we're ready to introduce this many new characters all at once."

Naomi: "They'll get introduced soon enough."

George: "Right. Now how about you? Frank thought your chute didn't open."

Naomi: "My main chute didn't, and my reserve chute barely did. I crashed through a tree, but only got minor cuts on my upper body."

George: "That's odd. I'd have thought your uniform would have protected you from that."

Naomi: "It would have if it didn't get torn off by the tree. I was falling pretty fast, so I have to consider myself lucky. And my sports bra held up."

George giggles.

Naomi: "What's so funny?"

George: "I was picturing you reporting in your bra and uniform pants and boots. But of course you must have had time to borrow a new top."

Naomi: "Well, I had the time, but there's no tops here to spare. I can manage for a week like this; most of the men and women here have had to make do for almost two months."

There is more giggling heard on the radio, but from a feminine voice.

Naomi: "Was that Charlotte laughing?"

George: "Never mind that. We'll let you know when we're ready to send in the chopper again and rescue you all."

Jack asserts himself. "Hello, this is Doctor Jack Shephard, and I'm the leader here. Explain how this rescue will take place."

George: "Once the chopper is repaired and we're sure how to get there, our pilot will take you out five at a time."

Hurley: "Five? That's not one of the numbers. I'd have thought it would be four, or eight."

George: "Definitely not enough room for eight. But if you prefer four, we could do that."

Hurley: "No, five will be fine. It just was unexpected."

George: "How many of you are there?"

Hurley: "I knew taking a census would pay off. There are twenty-five of us now. That includes a baby, and does not include this impostor who lived with us at the beginning."

Kate: "Remember, John might not want to leave."

Sun: "Also, Walt didn't want to leave before."

Libby: "Walt is an alien. We can leave him here."

Michael: "Walt will be coming with us. But you'll also have to take his dog."

George: "That won't be a problem."

Michael: "There is a problem though. My son and his dog might want to take their polar bear friend with them."

George: "Did you say a polar bear? On a tropical island?"

Michael: "Yes I did. All sorts of strange things go happen on this island."

George: "I don't think we can get a polar bear onto the helicopter."

Shannon: "How about making a sling so you can carry her under the whirlybird?"

Jin: "Whirlybird?"

Shannon: "That was an attempt to increase your English vocabulary."

Jin: "Oh, thank you."

George: "A sling is an interesting idea. The bear might weigh so much that we couldn't take anyone else at the same time."

Ana-Lucia: "I suggest the polar bear come last."

Naomi: "The battery's fading, so I think we better stop talking now. Look forward to hearing from you later." _That call went excellently. Nobody suspects our real mission._

After the call, Sawyer is moping around. He confronts Jack.

Sawyer: "You know, Doctor Leader, there is someone else that could come back with us."

Jack: "It's best not to complicate things. We need to get all our people off first. Then if there's someone left worthy of returning with us we can bring her along at the last minute."

Sawyer: "I, and everybody else still listening, noticed you said, 'her'."

Jack: "We have time to figure this out. There's still also the submarine possibility. Maybe she knows how to drive it."

* * *

Back at the Pearl,

Eko: "We really should check out these other computers."

Locke: "Yes, there might be more cool games on them. I like games. Maybe they have 'Pac-Man'."

Eko: "Here's a video tape. Let's see what's on it."

Eko inserts the tape into a VCR player, and a familiar face starts speaking.

"Welcome. I am Dr. Marvin Candlewax, and this is the orientation film for station five of the Dharpa Initiative."

Locke: "That's the same guy as from the Swan Station video."

Eko: "That reminds me, we found a tape at the Arrow Station, but didn't have a device to play it on. It could be a separate tape, or it might fill in the gaps of the Swan Station video."

Locke: "If there's any interest, we might get around to it. We could go there and see what that has to say. Now let's listen to the rest of this tape."

Dr. Marvin Candlewax resumes his explanation.

"Station Five, or the Pearl, is a monitoring station where you get to spy and eavesdrop on other Dharpa Initiative members. Your tour of duty in the Pearl will last four weeks and, during this time, you and your partner will observe a psychological experiment in progress. Your duty is to observe team members in another station on the Island. These team members are clueless that they are under surveillance or that they are subjects of an experiment. Actually, they're pretty clueless in general.

Working in eight-hour shifts, you and your partner will record everything you observe in the notebooks we provided. You aren't important enough to know what is the nature of the experiment or what do these subjects believe they are accomplishing as they struggle to fulfill their tasks. All you need to know is that the subjects believe that their job is of the utmost importance. Remember, everything that occurs, no matter how minute or seemingly unimportant, must be recorded.

Each time you underlings manage to complete a notebook, roll it up and insert it into one of the containers provided. Then, simply place the container in the pneumatic tube and - presto! - it will be transported directly to us, the important people.

At the end of your eight-hour shift proceed to the Edsel in which the chauffeur which will take you back to your miserable barracks so that you can recover from the tedium of this assignment and get ready for your next shift. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds … psych! On behalf of the DeGroovys, Alvin Hansolo, and all of us here at the Dharpa Initiative - thank you, namaste, and good luck."

Eko: "This organization didn't think very highly of some of its members."

Locke: "Yes … but … we need to find out which other station they were spying on."

Eko: "Let's try turning on the other computers and see if we can get something."

Eko turns on the next computer, and soon an image appears on the screen. The jaws of Eko and Locke both drop at what they see.

Eko: "That's … Shannon and Sayid … they were on button pushing duty, and they're …"

Locke: "It's called 'making out.' But look where they are."

Eko: "That's the computer room, isn't it? There's the hall that leads to the pantry."

Locke: "Yes, but don't you realize what this means?"

Eko: "That Shannon and Sayid are on the verge of breaking some commandments. But it's hard to be sure since the camera lens over there is fogging up."

Locke: "Not that! It means that we've been the subjects of their goofy experiment, believing that we're doing some important by pushing those buttons every 104 to 108 minutes. Poor Desmond, and those before him. It's all a sham. When we get back we have to tell everyone to stop wasting time and worrying and pushing those stupid buttons."

Eko: "Don't jump to conclusions. There may be another explanation."

Locke: "There are no other explanations. We have to put an end to this ruse."

Eko: "Why don't we sleep on it? We can't get back to the Swan today, and this hatch is an excellent shelter."

Locke regards Eko. "Since you are my friend and we have some spiritual connection, I shall honor your request. But don't expect me to change my mind."

Locke takes an empty notebook, and writes on the first page, "We're on to you. We won't be pawns in your stupid experiments any longer!"

Locke then rolls up the notebook, puts it in one of the empty cylindrical containers strewn about, snaps the container shut, opens a small door on the pneumatic tube, inserts the container, and closes the little door on the tube. With a gust of compressed air, the container is whisked out of sight upward through the tube.

Eko: "What did that accomplish?"

Locke: "It made me feel better."

Eko: "I guess that's a good reason. So what do you want to do now?"

Locke: "See how good you are in 'Pac-Man'."

Locke and Eko play a variety of old arcade games well into the night.

* * *

Still at the pyramid of tubes under the candy cane, Walt, Emma, and Zach hear a pop, and look at the end of the curved tube. They see a container get ejected from the end and land on the top of the pile.

Walt: "That could be important. I have to get that."

Zach: "Cool. We can play 'King of the Mountain'."

Walt: "Fine, but it won't be a contest. I'm too much bigger, stronger, and more coordinated than you."

Walt and Zach start climbing.

Emma: "Are you sure that's the best thing to do?"

Zach: "Wuss."

Walt: "Don't insult her. Besides, the game isn't called 'Queen of the Mountain'."

Emma is insulted. "What do you mean by that? I can climb as well, no, probably better, than you two!"

Emma starts climbing the pyramid of tubes, starting a little ways to the side so the three are approaching from different directions. Walt has enough of a head start on Emma, and proves to be faster than Zach, so he gets to the top first. He keeps his eye on the container that just came from the tube the whole time. He grabs the container, holds it over his head, and shouts.

Walt: "I'm the King of the Mountain!"

Walt jumps in the air, and the mountain of containers trembles, and then the center gives way. Emma and Zach are far enough away so as to barely be affected, but a crater forms under Walt and he falls down with it, though he manages to remain in a standing position. When the mountain settles, Walt is waist-deep in the capsules, and at the bottom of a crater whose low point is still fifteen meters above the ground. Emma and Zach are perched at the top of the crater, lying face down and looking over the edge at Walt four meters below them. The whole structure now resembles a volcano.

Emma: "Okay, King, what does your precious message say?"

Walt opens the container carefully, so as to not make any additional movements that will make him sink further. "It says, 'We're on to you. We won't be pawns in your stupid experiments any longer!' "

Zach: "Does that mean you're still being experimented on?"

Walt: "No! I didn't write this. But pawns are part of chess, and John likes that game. Maybe he can figure out something."

Emma: "I guess that makes sense. Now, do you need help getting out of there?"

Walt: "No! I'm not tied up or handcuffed this time. I can still climb this."

Walt tries to lift one leg, but the other, without a solid foothold, goes down further. He brings that leg back up, but finds he is in a couple centimeters deeper than before.

Walt: "I just have to throw these containers around my body clear out of the way."

Walt hurls the capsule he opened toward Zach, but it falls short, and rolls back down the slope of the crater back to Walt. He picks up another container directly in front of him, and tries again, but his position is too awkward to get enough on the throw, and that container rolls back down. He does clear some space in front of him, but before he can clear out enough to step out, the pile in front collapses again, burying him up to his armpits. Alarmed, he pushes up against two containers, and succeeds in drawing himself out to his waist for a second, but under his weight the containers he is grasping plunge down some, and he falls down to his chest. He feels that if he releases his grip, things will only get worse.

"Uh, I guess I could use some help. Can you climb down carefully and pull me up?"

Emma and Zach think it over for several minutes.

Emma: "I don't know, Zach. Walt was rather rude to us, don't you think?"

Zach: "Definitely. He owes us an apology."

Walt: "Fine, I'm sorry I insulted your climbing abilities. Now can you please get me out?"

Emma and Zach carefully crawl down the side of the crater until they are next to Walt.

Emma: "Do you think that apology was sincere, Zach?"

Zach: "Didn't sound like it to me."

Emma and Zach grin, and step on Walt's shoulders, driving him in up to his neck.

Walt: "Hey!" Walt grabs the siblings' ankles to pull himself up. In the struggle the mountain of capsule-shaped containers collapses further, sending them all down four meters and completely burying them.

Emma: "What did you do that for? We were going to pull you up after you paid for your insults."

Walt: "Sure you were."

Zach: "Hey, this is really neat. The light looks all funny coming through those containers. And Walt was right, there's lots of air space around here. No problem breathing."

Emma: "Wonderful. How are we going to get out of this?"

Walt: "Swim?"

Emma tries. "There's nothing to push off against."

Walt: "Well, eventually you can hit bottom and crawl along the ground."

Zach: "This feels awesome. Why don't we sleep in here tonight?"

Walt: "That's not such a bad idea. Just need to get comfortable."

Emma: "You guys are crazy. But what else is new?"

Walt wriggles into a more horizontal position, and Emma and Zach, although they can't see one another, end up doing the same thing.


	59. Eyeliner Extraordinaire

Morning comes with the kids in the midst of the huge pile of capsule-shaped containers.

Walt: "Can you hear me?"

Emma: "Yes. That was … interesting."

Zach: "That was neat! We never get to do anything like that at home."

Walt: "Good. But it's time to get out of here."

Emma tries to swim, but doesn't go anywhere.

Emma: "This isn't working."

Walt maneuvers himself into a vertical position and then thrashes wildly, and slowly makes his way to the bottom. "You have stand up and thrash wildly."

Zach gets the hang of this. "This is so cool!" He gets to the bottom.

Emma is more cautious and it takes her longer. Eventually she makes it.

Walt: "Now we just have to make sure we go in a straight line and we'll get out of here." Walt finds he gets more traction by crawling. Emma and Zach follow his voice, and after several minutes they reach the edge of the pile and see daylight.

Zach: "That was awesome! Can we do that again?"

Emma: "I think we better get something to eat first."

Walt: "I guess that makes sense. But I forgot that I wanted to take a look around form the top and see what else there is to see on this island."

They find some fruit trees, eat, and return to the pile, which isn't quite as high as before, but is still pretty impressive. Zach races to climb the mountain of containers.

Walt: "Are you coming with us?"

Emma: "How about I climb up, and then slide back down the side? Someone should be able to rescue you two if you need it."

Walt: "We won't need it, but thanks for your concern."

Walt climbs up after Zach, and then Emma. They get to the top, and are careful as they walk around the top of the crater.

Zach: "There's something over there."

Emma: "It looks like some kind of temple."

Walt: "Nobody said anything to me about that."

They look around, and don't see anything else.

Zach: "Want to wrestle, Walt?"

Walt: "You're too little compared to me. It wouldn't be a contest."

Zach: "Ha! Sounds like you're afraid."

Walt: "Don't be ridiculous."

Emma gets impatient and shoves both of them down into the crater. Zach tackles Walt, and they wrestle. Pretty soon they are up to their necks in the containers.

Emma laughs. "There's no climbing out for you now."

Zach: "Not true. I can climb on Walt." Zach pushes down on Walt's shoulders.

Walt: "Not if I climb on you first." Walt does the same. With their combined efforts, they quickly sink out of sight.

Emma: "See you on the other side. Follow my voice when you can."

* * *

The survivors are enjoying a nice day at the beach. Naomi is fully alert, determined to acquire as much information on Benjamin Linus as possible.

Naomi: "I forgot to ask yesterday, are there any other people here?"

Apart from Sayid, who is skilled at questioning, the looks on everyone else's faces clearly indicates the answer is affirmative.

Sawyer: "Why do you need to know?"

Naomi: "It would be nice to that we won't have to face any problems airlifting you all out of here. It would be unfortunate if we ran into any hostile action."

The Oceanics exchange glances.

Sayid: "She can tell from our reactions that the answer is affirmative."

Jack: "Naomi, that makes sense. There are some others on the north part of this island, and they are rather hostile."

Hurley: "Haven't we been capitalizing "Others" in this context?"

Kate: "It depends on whether he was referring to specific people."

Naomi: "That isn't important now. It is important that we avoid these people while rescuing you. Are these people permanent residents, or do they want to leave too?"

Sawyer: "They can stay here forever as far as I'm concerned."

There is unanimous agreement as everyone present nods their heads.

Naomi: "Good. Now, can you be more precise about their location?"

Jack: "Not very. I went partway there, but turned around with Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, and Michael."

Naomi senses she can find out more, and comes up with a plan. "Can't you tell me … tell me … oooh, I feel hot. Let me take these off."

Naomi sits down on the sand and removes her boots and socks.

Hurley: "Good move, dudette. Combat boots aren't ideal beachwear."

Jack shows excessive concern. "Are you feeling better?"

Naomi: "Yes, but not one hundred percent."

Jin: "You could take your pants off. I don't think those long camouflage pants are appropriate for this climate."

Sun glares at Jin, and then calms down. "I suppose that is a medically sound course of action."

Naomi: "I prefer not to run around in my underwear."

Kate: "That happened to me. John Locke made me this nice boarskin miniskirt. It's surprisingly comfortable and durable."

Naomi: "Where is this John Locke?"

Ana-Lucia: "He's on some sort of quest with my boyfr- I mean, Mr. Eko. Something about having to become more attuned to this island."

Boone: "You know what you could do? You can simply cut off those camos wherever you want."

Shannon: "Boone, sometimes you say the most useful, thoughtful, and considerate things."

Boone: "Some habits are hard to break."

Shannon: "Such as failing to recognize sarcasm?"

Naomi: "That's an idea, but when the mission comes it would be better to be in full uniform. Or at least half uniform." _Forgot about my top. Seems so natural here among these people to not have one._ "Do you have sewing material here?"

Jack: "I have medical thread I use for stitches, but prefer to save those for a real emergency."

Cindy: "I don't think that qualifies as a real emergency."

Libby: "Cindy, you're still here?"

Cindy: "Yes. I've been feeling left out, so I got a word in edgewise when I had a chance."

Desmond: "There is a sewing kit in the hatch. It just hasn't been used much since we don't have any clothing material."

Naomi: "Good. Now we just need something to make a good, clean cut."

Boone: "John is the one with all the knives, but as we said before he isn't here."

Jack: "I could use my scalpel. But it's in the hatch."

Hurley: "Hey, let me give you a ride there in the Edsel. Won't take long at all."

Jack: "I think I'll take you up on that offer. Naomi, why don't you rest in the shade for a few minutes?"

Hurley and Jack drive the Edsel from the beach to the Swan Station. Jack quickly gets his medical supplies, and says hello to Rose and Bernard, on button pushing duty.

Jack: "Hey there, how're you doing?"

Bernard:: "It's been kind of slow. If we weren't doing this we'd probably be left out like Cindy."

Hurley: "The thing is you dudes don't do enough crazy things, like have affairs or go on wild adventures."

Rose: "But we do have each other. That's the most important thing."

Hurley: "Well, if that's what makes you happy. But if you want to see more action, you know what you have to do."

Jack gets his medical bag. "Got to go now. See you later."

Hurley and Jack drive back to the beach, where Naomi is sitting in the shade.

Jack: "Ready for the surgery?"

Naomi: "Yes, Doctor."

Jack: "Do you have a preference where I make the incision?"

Naomi: "Here will be fine."

Jack makes the cut where indicated. The operation is a success, and Naomi removes her camouflage pants legs, leaving her with an unusual and very short miniskirt.

Naomi: "Thanks, I feel a lot better now."

Jack: "Delighted to be of service. Now … were we talking about something before?"

Naomi: "You were telling me about your group that went toward these 'Others' settlement, but didn't make it. It would have been very helpful if my associates knew more about them."

Jack: "Why don't you ask Michael? He's the only one of us who's been there."

Jack points out Michael, sitting alone on the beach and concentrating on something.

Naomi: "I thought you meant none of your group made it to their village."

Jack: "Not on that occasion. But Michael was there before and was leading us there, when he had a change of heart. You better talk to him."

Naomi: "Thank you, I'll do that."

Naomi walks over to Michael, who is completing the wedding portrait. "Hey, Michael, how's it going?"

Michael looks up, and gets distracted by the sight of Naomi in a sports bra and camouflage miniskirt.

Michael: "Um, I'm okay. But you …"

Naomi: "I overheated a little, and needed lighter attire. But I'm good now."

Michael chuckles. "That's not unusual around here. Wait till you see the kids; they've got running around in minimal attire to an art."

Naomi: "Right, you mentioned your son before, but where is he and … his friends?"

Michael: "Emma and Zach. There were two other children on that plane, and they survived the crash, but were in a different group for a long time. They're a sister and brother; Emma is ten, like Walt, and Zach is eight. They're out on a sort of walkabout because Libby thinks Walt is an extraterrestrial alien, and we need a few days before Sun can grow her plants to make Libby some more medicine."

Naomi: "Are you sure that's safe?"

Michael: "Nothing is completely safe, but they've been trained by an expert, my good friend John Locke. They'll be fine."

Naomi: "Glad to hear that. Say, what is that you're painting?"

Michael: "A wedding portrait for Claire and Charlie."

Naomi: "Such a lovely couple. I haven't seen them. Where are they?"

* * *

On Desmond's sailboat Claire and Charlie are lazing around, enjoying a break from the action.

Charlie: "Isn't this wonderful? After all those crazy things we've been through, to just do nothing for days?"

Claire: "It is nice. But I keep thinking about Aaron."

Charlie: "He'll be just fine. Remember Desmond's vision of you carrying him into some submarine."

Claire: "I know you're right. It feels a bit odd to be out of the action so long."

Charlie: "I'm sure there'll be plenty of action for us after the honeymoon. Now let's enjoy our time alone together as long as we can."

Claire and Charlie enjoy their time together.

* * *

Michael: "They're on their honeymoon, on Desmond's sailboat. Before you ask, there's something about the currents around this island that stop ships from leaving."

Naomi: "That makes sense; our airplane hit lots of inexplicable turbulence around your island."

Michael: "Yeah. Also, their baby Aaron is in that cradle over there. He was born on this island. Kate is usually looking over him, but sometimes we take turns."

Naomi: "How interesting. Now I understand that you saw this village of these … Others. Can you describe it?"

Michael: "Actually I'd rather put that out of my mind. The experience was terrible."

Naomi: "But it could be very important."

Michael: "I need to finish this painting."

Michael turns around, and resumes his artwork. Naomi executes her backup plan. She traces her finger in intricate patterns on Michael's back, and then gently rubs his neck and shoulders.

Naomi: "We need to know where these Others are so they won't interfere with our rescue. Isn't that what you want?"

Michael's mind spins, and then he relents. "They live in a village north of a mountain range, like this." Michael draws a rough outline of the island as far as he knows it. "There's a blue line here we're not supposed to cross, and their whole village in encircled by a bunch of stone columns that form some kind of security system. I heard it was damaged but may be repaired by now; I have no way of knowing."

Naomi: "Can you describe in more detail the position of the buildings?"

Michael falls forward in the sand with his face in his hands. "What difference does that make?"

Naomi catches her breath, and kneels down besides Michael. _Go slower._ She kneads his back muscles with some force. "You're in great shape. Are you an athlete who works out a lot?"

Michael is distracted again. "No, I just work in construction in the real world. I've built some things around here, but we're pretty set for now."

Naomi: "How noble of you."

The massage continues, and Michael feels obligated to tell Naomi something.

Michael: "I really can't tell you much about individual buildings. I was locked in a cage most of the time." Michael draws a square in the sand. Most of the houses were in this area. "Then they tied me to a post about here," Michael makes a dot, "and then took me to a building here, where ... where …"

Naomi senses Michael's hesitation, and pushes harder on his back. "You're strong; you can tell me."

Michael takes a deep breath. "I had let Ethan take Walt away in handcuffs. We thought it was a cops and robbers game, but they were kidnapping Walt. When they let me see him, Ben Linus had my son tied down to a table, like a rack, and there was this pendulum thing with a feather attached that was going to come down slowly and eventually tickle his stomach."

Naomi gulps at the image in her mind, and regains her composure. "That Benjamin Linus is a scumbag. Why would anyone do such a thing to a child? Wouldn't you like to see him brought to justice?"

Michael suddenly gets up and faces Naomi. "A part of me did, but another part says I should let it go. I used to have anger management issues, but being on this island this long has helped chill me out. Ben's reason was that he found out Walt has some kind of ability which manifests itself when he's under stress, and Ben ordered all kinds of experiments on him. Apparently Walt has the ability to change some numbers that postpone the date of Doomsday. He's seemed to have put this behind him, and I don't want to dwell on it."

Naomi senses she may be losing her opportunity to get more information out of Michael. "Oops, I made you get sand stuck all over chest and stomach. Let me help you get it off." Naomi brushes off the sand of Michael's body in a more sensuous way than necessary. "I'm sorry you had to see Ben do all that to your son."

Michael raises his hands to brush off the sand, but stops when Naomi does it for him. "I didn't see Ben at the time. These were all his orders; at the time he was a prisoner in the hatch."

Naomi stops for a second, upset that Ben had been a prisoner but wasn't any more. "You mean your group had captured him, but let him go?"

Michael takes another deep breath. "Yes, it was my fault. I made a deal to release Ben and betray four of my friends in order to get Walt back and leave the island. I did come back and release Ben, and started to take the four over there, but broke down and stopped."

Naomi pauses to absorb the information. "So that's why Jack and the others never saw that village. Poor man; you were faced with a horrible dilemma. You did the best you could."

Michael: "Thank you. I feel bad that Walt did get tickled, but he told me he's proud of me for not betraying our friends. I suppose he might be able to tell you who lives in which house if you really need to know, but I'd prefer you don't ask him if you don't really need to."

Naomi: "I understand. It was nice meeting you, and you've been very helpful. Because of you our rescue mission is much more likely to be a success. I'll let you get back to your painting."

Naomi leaves, collecting her boots and cutoff pant legs as she thinks about the information she has received.

* * *

After playing classic video games in the Pearl through most of the night, Locke and Eko wake up very late.

Eko: "What time is it?"

Locke: "We'll have to go outside to see."

They climb up the ladder, and get outside.

Locke: "Looks like it's already after noon."

Eko: "I guess we got carried away."

Locke: "No matter. We must get back and inform the others that the button pushing is a fraud."

Eko: "I'm still not convinced. But we should let everyone know before coming to a conclusion."

Locke and Eko head toward the Swan, a trip that takes several hours, when Locke suddenly stops and raises his hand. Eko is quiet, and hears something moving through the woods. Locke pulls out a knife and throws it into a tree, a foot over the intruder's head.

Locke: "Freeze!"

Eko: "Halt! Who goes there?"

Juliet: "Will you guys chill? It's Juliet, and I'm defecting to your side."

Locke: "What is that thing? Put it down slowly."

Juliet puts down the walkie-talkie. "It's a walkie-talkie. I'm supposed to make periodic reports to Ben on your activities. He thinks I'm faking this defection, but I'm double-crossing him. He's been giving me the creeps for too long, and he's never going to let me leave this island, but you will."

Locke: "How can we believe you?"

Juliet sighs in disgust, and then strides to a tree with a vine hanging down. With greater than expected strength she tears the vine down, and then wraps it around her waist and the back of the tree. "I know you like to tie up beautiful women to interrogate them. I can't tie my own hands, so let's get this over with as fast as possible, okay?" Juliet holds her hands behind her around the tree.

Locke: "That was uncalled for. I don't just tie up beautiful women. I also tie up men, and children too if necessary. I tied up Sawyer, and then Boone, and then Walt, and would have tied up Zach but he didn't let me. And those I did tie up are much better for the experience."

Eko: "I think from this reaction that she is telling the truth."

Locke: "You may be right. Let's see you make a message now."

Juliet is relieved, and unties the vine around her. She makes a call on the walkie-talkie. "Ben? Come in please?"

Ben: "Juliet? How is it going?"

Juliet: "Perfect. I found a good place to stash the walkie-talkie; far enough away from the Swan so those goofy Oceanics won't find it. No one here has a clue. Except for me, I mean. How are you?"

Ben: "Thank you for asking. I'm not at full speed, but Ethan and I are close to the village. We'll probably get there a little after nightfall."

Juliet: "Roger. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Over and out then."

Juliet smugly stashes the walkie-talkie in a hollowed recess in a tree.

Locke: "That doesn't prove anything. You could be triple crossing us."

Juliet: "Look; I can't do anything to you. You with all your knives, and you with that … whatever it is."

Eko: "I call it my Jacob stick. It's become such a part of me that I don't notice that I carry it around all the time."

Juliet: "Wonderful. I clearly have no weapons. Unless you're afraid I'll strangle you with my bikini."

Locke: "You realize that someone will have to watch you constantly until we can trust you?"

Eko: "I think we can get lots of volunteers to watch her."

Juliet: "No problem." _Let's hope for the right volunteers._

Locke thinks up a test: "All right, let's go then. Whoops, it's getting dark awfully quickly. We won't make it to the Swan before nightfall. We'll have to spend the night out here, but Juliet needs to be restrained."

Juliet: "I told you that you love to tie up pretty women."

Eko: "Can't we find something more dignified? We could take turns staying awake all night."

Locke: "I know just the thing. There are traps all over this place. With my great eyes and cognizance, I'm sure I can find … ha, there's one. Ms. Burke, would you be so kind as to step over there?"

Juliet knows she has no choice. He struts into the area Locke pointed to, and is swiftly caught up in a net, swinging two meters above the ground.

Juliet: "Thanks Eko, this is much more dignified than being tied to a tree or the ground."

Eko: "You're welcome. Say, are you hungry?"

Juliet: "Actually, yes."

Eko throws some bananas onto the net where Juliet can reach them, and then a bottle of water. Eko and Locke then eat their dinner.

Eko, to Locke: "I understand Walt could get out of those net traps fairly easily. She's an Other; I would wager she has that ability as well."

Locke: "No problem, I'll tie this end of the rope around my ankle. If she struggles to get out, she'll shake the next and wake me. But I doubt she will cause any trouble. If she does, she'd be blowing her cover instantly."

* * *

It takes Walt and Zach hours to climb out from under the huge pile of capsules.

Emma: "That took you long enough. It's dark already!"

Zach: "But that was fun!"

Walt: "Zach is right this time."

Emma: "Well, we were going to check out that temple thing, but we'll never get very far today."

Walt: "No big deal, we've got lots of time. We can sleep near the edge of the pile tonight and get an early start tomorrow."

Emma: "There doesn't seem to be a better option."

The kids find some fruit to eat, and then burrow under the pile for the night.

When dawn comes, they climb out.

Emma: "Now, we're supposed to go this way."

Walt makes an exaggerated bow. "Whatever you say."

Emma: "Hmpf."

They find more fruit and water, and head towards the building they saw from the pile of capsules until they see something out of place on the ground.

Walt: "Hey, what's this?"

Emma looks at it closely. "It's a tube of eyeliner."

Zach: "What would that be doing way out here? Does somebody use that stuff?"

Emma: "It doesn't make much sense for it to be here if nobody does."

Walt: "It could have been part of the parachute drop. There were all sorts of stuff in that, and it could have blown over here."

Emma: "Maybe. Let's keep going, but watch out."

They keep going, and make another discovery.

Walt: "Does this have something to do with eyeliner?"

Emma: "Yes, that's an eyebrow pencil. You can use to apply eyeliner, or eyebrow liner, whatever. Mom said I was too young for that kind of stuff."

They keep going, and keep making similar discoveries.

Emma: "Here's another tube of eyeliner. How could anyone use so much?"

Zach: "Why should I know anything about eyeliner?"

Emma: "You're right; that was silly of me. You don't much about anything."

Walt: "Quiet! Did you hear something?"

The kids freeze, and hear some rustling, and don't know where to turn. Suddenly a strange man steps into the clearing. He looks no more than thirty, and is wearing a bright blue shirt and tan pants. But by far the most striking feature of this man is his eyebrows. They are the most thick, luxurious, and mesmerizing eyebrows anyone has ever seen.

Richard: "Hey kids, great to see you again. How are you doing?"

Walt: "I've never seen you before. Who are you?"

Emma and Zach shake their heads, and let Walt stand in front.

Richard: "Why, I'm Richard Alpert. You don't remember me? I sure remember you."

Emma: "I would have remembered those eyebrows."

Walt: "Are you sure it was us?"

Richard: "Absolutely. Seeing three kids in loincloths shackled to a ship's wall is not the kind of thing one forgets after a mere 137 years."

Zach: " 'Kids,' plural? It's only Walt who things like getting shackled happen to."

Richard: "It was definitely all three of you that time."

Emma: "Wait, I don't believe you. No one can live 137 years."

Zach: "And we're only eight to ten years old."

Richard thinks for a minute, and then is apologetic.

Richard: "I'm sorry; of course you don't remember me. That hasn't happened to you in your time line yet."

Walt: "Our time line? What are you talking about?"

Richard: "This island has a lot of unusual properties, and one of them is that it can be sent through time and space. At some point in the future, you three are going to be sent back in time and meet me as on that ship. Now this has to be coordinated or you could irreparably damage the space-time continuum. You will recognize me but I won't recognize you. I will be very depressed, and you need to reassure that things will get better."

Emma: "What's this about shackles?"

Richard: "Don't worry about that. You will find me shackled to a wall as a prisoner, and then get shackled yourselves. But you will only be a shackled for a few minutes, and then will disappear, being sent back to your own time."

Emma: "That's kind of hard to believe."

Richard: "Well, yes, but I'm doing the best I can to prepare you."

Zach: "You don't look anything close to 137 years old. I don't believe you."

Richard: "Actually I was grown when I was taken aboard, so I'm more like 167. But something else happened that made me eternally young. Did you notice that you are growing faster than expected?"

Walt: "Yes, I'm really into my growth spurt. I'm ten, but look like I'm twelve now."

Richard: "There's a balance involved. Some young people age more quickly for a while, and other much more slowly. Somehow it all evens out."

Zach: "Why do you leave all this eyeliner stuff lying around? That's littering."

Richard: "I just found out I have a hole in my pocket. Thanks for finding my items; I'd hate to be a litterbug."

There is silence for a few moments, and then Walt asks, "Hey, if you're really 167, you must know everything about this island and its history. Tell us so we can believe you."

Richard: "Yeah, you'd think so, but somehow I don't."

Walt: "What do you do around here?"

Richard: "I'm sort of an advisor who helps make things happen the way they're supposed to. And I have to advise you to head back. You're getting too close to the blue line. My home is on the other side of that line."

Emma: "Can you help us get off this island?"

Richard: "I can't do anything like that until after we meet in the past. Now I may have said too much. Run along and do your thing, but we must let history proceed as it is supposed to. I have to go now; this heat wreaks havoc on my eyebrows if I don't apply adequate eyeliner."

Emma: "Good-bye Richard, it was … interesting meeting you."

Richard goes back toward the Temple, and the children go off in another direction.

Zach: "Do you believe that guy?"

Emma: "No way. I think he's crazy."

Walt: "Yeah. Sure some weird things happen here, but time travel is preposterous."

Emma: "I think you're right. I bet some of that eyeliner seeped into his brain and affected him somehow."

Zach: "Do you think he could be an alien?"

Walt: "You spent too much time with Libby. He's probably your average, ordinary, run-of-the-mill nutcase."

Zach: "I guess so. But it is kind of funny how you get shackled again."

Walt: "I wasn't shackled before! That scene was deleted, so it doesn't count."

Emma: "Someone could order the DVD with extra features."

Walt pushes Emma to the ground. "Don't give anyone any ideas!"

Emma tries to trip Walt, but trips Zach first. Then she trips Walt, but as she gets up, Zach pushes her back down in revenge. The three then end up play fighting.

Unbeknownst to them, someone who has been ignored for too a long time is watching, and jumps to a colossally wrong conclusion.


	60. Pardon My French

_Ma fourniture de nourriture … oh wait, I forgot, this is an English language show, and the Koreans blew through the subtitle budget. I have to think in English, not French_.

_My food supply is running low. I have to go out and kill some more game. I'll probably have to go some distance to find something like wild boar._

Danielle puts on a backpack filled with necessary supplies, and takes her hunting rifle. She heads to the north-northeast from her bunker. In a couple hours she hears something unusual. She gets her rifle ready.

_There's definitely an animal there, and it hasn't seen me coming. Let's see what it is … What? That's not an animal. That's… naked children? How is that possible? What are they up to? Are they a threat? I have to find out what this is about and make sure I'm not seeing things and losing my mind._

Danielle moves silently along, in a state of paranoia. She sees the intruders from a different angle, more from the back.

_Okay, they're not really naked; their butts are partially covered by … looks like boarskin. They only looked naked from the side because their waistbands are too narrow to see from a distance. I am not going crazy. But I feel there's something familiar about that, something about boys running around in loincloths around here, that I should remember. How long ago was that? Think, Danielle, think! If the boys would turn so I could see their faces it might help._

The intruders continue through the jungle, and pause at a clearing. Danielle parallels their movements, remaining unseen and unheard. The intruders talk more and become more animated as the confused Frenchwoman spies on them.

_Come on, turn around so I can see who you boys are. That's it, a little more. Wait a minute – one of them is wearing a top, a small boarskin bra? The strap was too thin to see from behind from a distance. The other two are bare-chested and are definitely boys, but that one must be a girl. I know this is important; I must figure it out. I must remember … now I remember, I've seen the black boy before. He was jumping into a pile of leaves from off that ship. He looked crazy. I remember, he was one of the passengers from the same airplane as that pregnant woman I helped, what was her name? – Claire, that's it – escape from those Others. But she said there was only one child with them. Therefore those other two must have come from the Others. They've got to be about the right age. That can only mean one thing – that girl is my long lost daughter Alex!_

Danielle strides through the trees, and is upset to see the boys attacking her, not realizing it is only play fighting and wrestling. It does not matter, as she is in control of the situation now. She raises her rifle.

Danielle: "Gelez!"

In shock, Walt, Emma, and Zach turn and look at the surprise visitor.

Walt: "What?"

Danielle: "I mean, freeze!"

The children stop moving.

Danielle: "Alex, come over here."

None of the children move, so Danielle points to Emma. "Come here, my precious Alex. You two, hands in the air."

Walt and Zach raise their hands high over their heads.

Emma: "My name is Emma, not Alex."

Zach: "Alex is a boy's name."

Danielle: "That's short for 'Alexandra'."

Walt: "Like 'Walt' is short for 'Walter'."

Zach: "Oh, and 'Zach' is short for 'Zachary'. But her name really is 'Emma'. I've known her all my life. That's my sister."

Alex: "I don't always like to admit it, but Zach is right. He is my brother. We were on the same flight as Walt."

Danielle: "There was only one child on that plane." Danielle points at Walt.

Alex: "Zach and I were in a part of the plane that crashed in a different place, way to the northwest. And we've lived our whole lives in California."

Danielle: "No Alex, you've been brainwashed by those people who stole you away from me. Implanting false memories is the sort of things those Others do."

Alex: "Stole away? You mean you think you're my mother?"

Danielle: "I am your mother. You were taken from me when you were one week old."

Walt puts two and two together. "I understand! I met the real Alex in Othersville. She's about sixteen, and looks like a younger version of you. She must be your daughter. She certainly doesn't have any features in common with Ben."

Danielle: "Don't be ridiculous. Those people would never call Alex by her real name and make it easier to find her. I won't hear any more of your lies. Now you two, Walt and Zach, if those are your real names, lie down on your stomachs, and hold your hands behind your backs."

Zach looks at Walt for guidance.

Walt: "We better do as she says. I've never seen her before, but I know who she must be. Her name is Danielle, and she's kind of crazy. She captured Jin in a trap and cuffed him to a bed frame for a couple days afraid he was an Other."

Walt gets down on his stomach as ordered. Zach starts to lie down.

Danielle: "Over there, farther away."

Zach, shaking, moves farther away, twenty-three meter from Walt, and lies down.

Danielle, never letting go of her rifle, slides her pack off her back, and hands it to Emma. "Alex, honey, there's rope in there. Now tie those two up, and do a good job!"

Emma's face perks up, and decides this is a good time to play along. "Be glad to, Mom."

Danielle: "That's better, Alex, I'll undo the damage they did to you. Tie that one up first." Danielle points at Walt, who, being bigger and more muscular, looks more of a threat than Zach.

Emma fishes out the rope and trots over to Walt. She ties his wrists together tightly behind his back, but not tight enough to interfere with his circulation. "You understand I have to do a good job."

Walt answers quietly: "Yes, no problem. I was just thinking, I promised Dad not to let any strangers tie me up."

Emma: "But I'm not a stranger, so it's okay for me to tie you up." Emma wraps another rope around Walt's ankles a few times and ties another tight knot**.**

Walt: "But you're being ordered to tie me by a stranger … eh, I guess it's all right. Dad won't be mad at me. Now when you go, be sure to leave a trail so we can find out wherever Danielle takes you to and rescue you." Walt tests the knots, and figures he won't be able to free himself without some kind of assistance. "Wow, you really got me good."

Emma: "Who needs to rescue whom? And I'm not finished with you." Emma takes a third piece of rope, and loops in between Walt's arms and legs. She then pulls on the ends so that Walt's hands and feet are brought together behind his back, and ties another knot above his hands, away from his fingers. She steps with a big grin on her face, admiring her handiwork.

Walt: "Did you have to hogtie me?"

Emma: "Danielle said to do a good job, and I agree it's best to play along, don't you?"

Walt: "You're right, but isn't this overdoing it?"

Walt cranes his neck to look at Emma. "Hey, I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time. You really enjoyed tying me up, didn't you?"

Emma: "Actually, yes, that was a lot of fun. I can see why John, and Ethan, and all those Others liked to tie you up. But you weren't fighting it at all."

Walt: "I know. It's …" Walt trembles a little, and Bea's hypnotic suggestion reasserts itself. He then admits, "… kind of fun being tied up and trying to escape, especially when it's a challenge but I have a chance. This is only rope, not metal like handcuffs, and I'm not tied to anything. I'm going to keep playing along, but you might have to take it easier on Zach."

Emma: "Not much easier. If I ease up too much that crazy lady might get suspicious and there's no telling what she might do."

Walt: "I guess I'm in no position to argue. Do what you have to."

Emma gets up, and goes over to Zach, who is very nervous. "Your turn."

Zach: "Can't we discuss this?"

Emma: "No. You know that woman might shoot you if you don't cooperate. Now hold still."

Zach squirms some, but Emma enjoys tying him up just like she did Walt. The knots aren't quite as tight as they are for Walt, but are easily secure enough to hold the smaller boy in place. Zach is agitated. "You can't leave us like this. When are you coming back for us?"

Emma: "Be quiet. I don't know. Walt took it like a man, so why can't you?"

This gets Zach to shut up temporarily. Emma goes back to Danielle.

Emma: "All done, Mom. Want to see how good a job I did?"

Danielle and Emma go over to Walt, who is squirming some. Danielle inspects Emma's work, and is impressed.

Walt resolves to play along. "No fair! I can't reach any of the knots with my fingers. There's no way I can get loose."

Danielle: "That's what you deserve for hitting my daughter. Alex, you did an excellent job."

Emma: "Thank you. And it was a lot of fun."

They go see Zach next, who is squirming more, but not making things any better for himself.

Danielle: "Good job here too. Now let me take you to my home … our home now, where you belong."

Emma: "All right. Bye, guys!"

Emma waves at the hogtied boys and walks with Danielle out of sight, toward her bunker. Zach freaks out.

Zach: "Help! Get me out of this! I can't stand it!"

Walt: "Calm down. This isn't such a big deal."

Zach: "Not a big deal? I feel so stupid. I'm all tied up in the middle of the jungle wearing nothing but a loincloth! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before."

Walt: "Happens to me all the time."

* * *

Juliet wakes up in the net trap. It wasn't a very comfortable night, but it could have been worse.

Juliet: "Good morning guys. Notice I didn't try to escape and double-cross you. Now can you let me down? You can trust me."

Locke and Eko get up. Locke undoes the end of the rope leading to the net trap from around his ankle, and then he and Eko lower the net and let Juliet scramble out.

Locke: "There you go. Of course if you try anything, you know what will happen."

Juliet: "Yes, I'll be tied up or restrained in some more humiliating way. Let's get going."

Eko: "It would be more convenient if that walkie-talkie was closer to the hatch. That way we won't have to accompany you so far to hear you leave misinformation for Ben."

Locke: "Agreed."

Juliet takes the walkie-talkie, they have a quick breakfast, and head toward the Swan.

Locke: "Juliet, if you're going to earn our trust, you need to answer more questions. What do you know about the Pearl Station?"

Juliet: "I think that's the spy station, but it hasn't been used in years. Being a fertility doctor, the only station I really had much to do with was the Staff."

Locke: "And what about the Swan? Isn't that stuff about having to push the buttons every 104 to 108 minutes complete nonsense?"

Juliet: "I only found out about the existence of the Swan after you guys found it, and Ethan made a report about you discovering it. I think the button-pushing is for real."

Locke: "But you're not certain?"

Juliet: "No, I can't be sure of that. Ben explained the Swan to me and some others briefly, but in case you hadn't noticed, he has a tendency to lie frequently."

Locke: "Are you trying to win the "Understatement of the Year" award?"

Eko: "A better question might be does Ben ever tell the truth?"

Juliet: "Of course he does. If he lied all the time you could figure out the truth by taking the opposite of what he says. I'd say he lies about half the time, which maximizes his chances of fooling you."

Locke: "That sounds like something Sayid would say."

Juliet: "Sayid strikes me as a very handsome … I mean, intelligent, man. I'll take that as a compliment."

Locke: "That's how I meant it. There's no reason why a blonde who looks great in a bikini can't also have brains. Now, are there other stations on this island we don't know about?"

Juliet: "There are. There's the Flame, which is a communications station, but it doesn't get used much because we didn't want communication with the outside world. There's the Arrow, which hasn't been used in a long time. It was sort of a storage facility, for weapons and defensive strategy planning."

Eko: "She's definitely telling the truth about that. That's where my group, from the tail end of the plane, spent several days, and encountered Walt. It was an excellent shelter."

Locke: "Anything else?"

Juliet: "Let's see, yes, there's also the Orchid. They do experiments on all kinds of plants, seeing what will grow and flourish in this environment. But … I think there's something else going on there. Something very secret, that's only on a need-to-know basis. And Ben decided that I didn't need to know."

Locke: "Very interesting. You'll have to make a map for us when we get back."

* * *

Naomi gets a chance to communicate with the freighter crew on her satellite radio.

Naomi: "Hello? Naomi here."

Gault: "Captain Gault here. What do you have to report?"

Naomi: "I found out where the Oceanics call Othersville is, but not Linus' specific house. It's in the north-central part of the island, across a mountain range from my present position."

Gault: "Did you find out anything about the Tempest?"

Naomi: "No one here knows anything about that."

Gault: "Well, the helicopter is ready. I'm sure you and your team can find the necessary information. Once they land, make your plans by the satellite phones."

Naomi: "Understood. Over and out."

* * *

A helicopter takes off from the freighter, forty-two kilometers offshore to the west. Frank Lapidus is piloting, with Miles Straume in the front passenger seat. Daniel Faraday and Charlotte Lewis sit in the back. The helicopter hits turbulence as it gets near the island.

Miles: "What's going on?"

Frank: "More turbulence. Worse than before, when I dropped off Naomi. Hang on tight! I need to find a good place for you to jump."

The chopper lurches, and strong wind currents carry it far to the southeast.

Frank: "We're in trouble; this bird's going down. Jump now while you still have the chance!"

Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles open the right-side door and jump out. Miles opens his parachute first, and the wind blows him away from Charlotte and Daniel, more to the north-northeast. His parachute gets severely tangled in trees over a swampy region.

Charlotte and Daniel fall farther, and then their parachutes open at nearly the same time, so they drift downward closer together. Daniel lands safely on the ground, and sheds his parachute, and straightens himself out, looking sharp in his dress pants and white dress shirt, and Oxford tie. However, Charlotte, in combat gear similar to Naomi's, drifts a small distance away, and gets tangled up in a tall tree overhanging a lagoon.

Daniel: "Charlotte! Are you all right?"

Charlotte: "I … I'm okay for the moment, but if I fall in the water with all this heavy gear, I'm going to drown!"

Daniel: "Then logic dictates you should lighten your load."

Charlotte: "Brilliant." Charlottes contorts herself to unsheathe a knife, and cuts herself loose from her parachute. She falls a little through the tree, and dangles mostly upside-down from another branch. "I'm going to fall!"

Daniel: "What can I do?"

Charlotte: "Don't leave me! These boots weigh a ton. I've got to get rid of them." Charlotte holds onto a branch with one hand, and cuts the laces of her boots with the knife in her other hand. This makes it easier for her to pull them off.

Daniel: "Are you okay now?"

Charlotte: "I'm better, but I want to be as safe as possible. This camouflage outfit is hot and getting heavy."

Daniel has a hard time believing his eyes as Charlotte cuts her pants off, and removes the camouflage shirt, dropping them into the lagoon, and revealing a striking lime green bikini.

Daniel: "Charlotte … why …?"

Charlotte: "When Naomi said people had clothing issues here I took precautions. And I wanted a color that wouldn't clash with anyone else. Oops …!"

The branch breaks and sends Charlotte plunging into the water.

Daniel races to the water's edge. "Charlotte!"

* * *

After stashing the walkie-talkie in a hollow tree nearby, Locke, Eko, and Juliet make it back to the Swan, near where most of the Oceanics are hanging around.

Sawyer: "Well, looks who's back. If it isn't Doctor Blue Bikini. What brings us this honor?"

Juliet: "I'm defecting to your group. Ben will never let me off this island, and you have a good chance now."

Sawyer: "And why should we trust you?"

Locke: "She appears to be trustworthy so far, but has agreed to be watched constantly."

Eko: "That is, if we can get enough volunteers."

Sawyer: "I just might find my way into doing some volunteer work."

Boone: "I volunteer to take a shift watching Juliet."

Shannon: "Gee, that's so noble of you, Boonehead."

Boone: "Have you been hanging out with Sawyer? And yes, I can be quite a noble guy."

Desmond: "I can instruct Juliet on how to enter the numbers and push the buttons."

Michael: "Hey, if you need volunteers, I'm willing to do my part."

Jin: "I am in the same boat."

Sun glares at Jin.

Jin: "Hey, if we don't say anything, we might get cut out of this episode. With all these new characters many of the regulars are getting shortchanged."

Sun: "Oh, from that standpoint it makes sense. I can help you keep watch."

Jin forces a smile.

Jack: "Don't forget me. I should examine Juliet periodically to find out what long-term effects this island can have."

Kate: "You do make quite an effort to make sure no one forgets you."

Ana-Lucia: "I think I should volunteer to keep an eye on all the volunteers and make sure they don't get too distracted."

Sayid: "I think we have enough volunteers." Sayid puts his arm around Shannon.

Hurley: "You're right, dude." Hurley makes the same gesture with Libby. Libby smiles sweetly at Hurley.

Libby: "Do we have time for a picnic?"

Hurley: "We sure do."

Bernard places his arm around Rose. "A picnic sounds like a good idea. There's plenty of room on the beach."

Rose: "You sly devil, you."

Eko: "Rose! I wouldn't expect such language from you."

Rose: "It's just a figure of speech."

Cindy is feeling left out, so makes an announcement. "Look, it's Naomi."

Juliet: "Who's that?"

Naomi comes up to the crowd. "Who's that?"

Jack: "Allow me to introduce you. Juliet, this is Naomi, who came from a helicopter and is going to rescue us. Naomi, this is Juliet, who used to live with those Others but now wants to leave with us."

Naomi: "You're an Other? Then you must have lots of information we might be able to use." _And I wouldn't have needed to pump Michael for information._

Juliet: "I suppose so."

Naomi: "Let's talk later, we should do lunch." _Too many questions now might make the Oceanics suspicious of me._

* * *

The helicopter spins out of control. Franks fights to keep it level, and just manages to make a controlled crash landing, near the east edge of the island. He staggers out, moderately wounded, and collapses unconscious on the ground.

* * *

Danielle and Emma reach Danielle's bunker. Emma has been careful to leave tracks along the way.

Danielle: "Welcome to your new home, Alex."

Emma: "Um, thanks. Can I ask you how long we're going to leave my brother and friend tied up out there?"

Danielle: "I don't see why you couldn't ask."

Emma: _She didn't understand what I meant._ "Okay then, how long are we going to leave my brother and friend tied up out there?"

Danielle: "You don't have a brother. And that other boy is not your friend."

Emma: "Well, Zach is a jerk, and deserves to be tied up, but probably for only a few hours. Or a few hours every day. And Walt has already been tied up an insane number of times. So we can check up on them some time?"

Danielle: "No. If their people come get them, so be it, but for what they did to you they deserve whatever comes to them."

Emma: "But … they weren't that bad to me. We were just playing."

Danielle: "They put false memories into your head to make you think that. You must tell me all about them so we can be prepared against future attacks. Now about that outfit of yours … where did that come from?"

Emma: "This nice man John Locke made it for me. He's the boys' tailor also. We didn't have any new clothes, so he made these out of boarskin. They felt funny at first but I got used to them. My old clothes got used to make diapers for this lady Claire's baby."

Danielle: "Claire? I met Claire. The people who kidnapped you kidnapped her also, but I helped set her free. We'll have to make some real clothes for you. Maybe something out of mine. From a distance you looked like you could have been at a nude beach on the French Riviera."

Emma: "I wasn't kidnapped. And I wouldn't want to deplete your wardrobe. Besides, everything you have is too big for me. Have you been to the French Riviera?"

Danielle: "Yes, but don't change the subject. If you like boarskin so much, we can go hunting later. We need more food soon anyway, and I would love to teach you to hunt, Alex dear."

Emma: "Hunting sounds cool." Emma's stomach growls.

Danielle: "I have a little food here now. Let's eat lunch and then I'll take you hunting."

Emma: "Sounds good."

The scene deleted from Chapter 57 for being just plain too stupid now appears because someone requested the DVD with extra features. If you did not request the extra features, please help fight the bootlegging industry and do not read or review the following. Actually, due to its inane content, it should not be read by anybody.

The scene starts when Walt, Emma, and Zach have entered the Purple Pebble, and picks up from this point.

* * *

Zach: "Neat! Is that a pirate ship?"

Walt: "It's got to be. This ship is strange. It contains a lot of fake dynamite, like this one somebody, probably John, left, with a flag that says "Bang!"

Emma and Zach note the shackles attached to short chains set in the walls.

Emma: "Are these shackles then fake, too?"

Walt: "I'm sure everything in here is fake. See, fake rubber swords here. And hollowed-out cannonballs."

Zach: "How do the shackles work?"

Walt: "Are you dumb? You put your hands in them, and someone closes them shut."

Zach: "Can you show us, since they're fake?"

Emma: "I don't think Walt can reach that high."

Walt is mildly insulted. "Sure I can reach that, ugh." Walt gets on his tiptoes, and touches a shackle with his right wrist. "It isn't even all metal, there's some kind of padding on the inside."

Emma reaches up: "And then does this thing close like this?" Emma snaps the manacle shut around Walt's wrist.

Walt: "I think you need a key to lock it … hey!" Walt is surprised to find his hand is really caught. "It must have one of those safety releases like in kids' handcuffs."

Emma: "And these are set up so your other hand goes in here?"

With Walt not having the best of balance, Emma is able to grab his left arm, and close the corresponding manacle around his left wrist.

Zach: "Oh, I get it. And these go around his feet, right?"

Walt is looking upward at his manacled hands, and Zach is able to shackle Walt's feet.

Walt: "Wait, no, what are you doing?"

Emma and Zach step back to admire their work. Walt is securely shackled hand and foot to the bulkhead of the Purple Pebble. His arms are stretched straight up, and his heels barely hit the floor to support his weight. Walt's bodies tingles as Bea's hypnotic suggestion that Walt thoroughly enjoys being tied up and trying to escape takes full effect.

Emma: "Are you sure those are fake?"

Walt: "They have to be. And the wood is rotten anyway. Just watch me bust out of these. This is going to be fun."

Emma: "Okay Mr. Escape Artist, let's see you escape."

Walt strains mightily on the chains, but the shackles don't budge a millimeter. He can rotate his arms a little, and feels for a safety release, but doesn't find any. After several minutes his energy wanes, and soon all he can do is wiggle his fingers and turn his head. After half an hour,

Walt: "Okay guys, you got me. I can't escape. Can you please let me go?"

Emma: "I don't know. Is there something we can do first?"

Zach: "We could draw on him."

Walt: "That's already been done. We don't want to repeat things. But this already is too similar to when I was tied under that pendulum feather thing in Room 23."

Emma: "Actually there you were really spread-eagled, and here you're stretched out straight vertically. And besides, you weren't completely stretched out there. Here it looks like you can't move at all."

Walt: "Wonderful observation. You're right, I can't move. Now can you get me out of this?"

Emma: "Maybe. I'd just like to look at you for a few minutes."

Zach: "Okay by me. Hey, I got an idea for something different. And it's not painting something different than 'Bad Boy' on you."

Emma gazes at her immobilized boyfriend, while Zach goes through some boxes. Soon he selects a rubber sword, and holds it to Walt's stomach.

Zach: "Avast, ye landlubber! Tell me where all your loot is."

Walt: "Are you nuts? I don't have any loot."

Zach: "Wrong answer." Zach pushes the blade into Walt, but it only bends back off his hard abs. Zach moves the rubber blade point over Walt's throat. "Let's try this again. Tell me where all the hidden treasure is or I'll run you through, yarr, yarr."

Walt: "I already told you I don't have any hidden treasure. Why don't you threaten Emma instead?"

Zach scowls, thinks about it, pulls back the sword, and then stabs Walt in the heart so hard the rubber sword breaks.

Emma laughs: "Having trouble with a helpless shackled prisoner? You'd make a terrible pirate."

Zach takes offense, and runs to the box to get another sword. To Walt, he says, "That was a good idea. To show my appreciation I'm granting you a stay of execution." Then he charges Emma, and swings the sword at her. "En garde!"

Emma: "Hey! Two can play at that game."

After getting hit a couple times, Emma scrambles to get a sword of her own. She swings at Zach, and soon they engage in a prolonged fight in front of their literally captive audience. The epic battle results in many stabbings, usually near the heart, and lots of broken swords. An hour later, the skirmish ends when Emma, having knocked Zach on his back, plunges the last unbroken sword into his chest, breaking the last weapon.

Emma: "That was fun."

Zach: "We should do that again some time."

Walt: "Did you forget me?"

Emma: "No. I got to look at you a few times while I was teaching Zach a lesson. But I guess you've suffered enough. We'll get you out of there now."

Emma reaches up to a manacle, and tries to loosen it, but finds she can't.

Walt: "What's wrong?"

Emma: "This thing won't go back the way it came. It looks like it needs a key."

Walt: "What! Well, find it."

Emma and Zach search all over the ship, but they can't find any keys.

Emma: "Sorry Walt."

Zach: "I guess we can go back and get a saw or axe or something."

Walt: "But we're supposed to be able to take care of ourselves, and it's failure city if you have to go back for help."

Emma takes another look at the shackles. "There's a kind of ratchet thing in there, like handcuffs. If we could get a hard, thin, curved piece of something I could stick it in there between the ratchet and the inner surface and the shackles will come right off."

Walt: "Then please try to find something like that."

Emma and Zach search the ship again, when Walt feels something on his leg. He looks down, and

Walt: "Augh! Help! There's a spider crawling on me!"

Emma and Zach rush down, and see the large hairy creature crawling up Walt's thigh.

Emma: "Ewww!"

Zach: "Gross!"

Walt: "Come on! Get it off me!"

Emma: "I'm not touching that. Maybe it isn't poisonous."

Walt: "What if it is? I can't reach it; I'm paralyzed!"

Zach: "Are you paralyzed with fear, or paralyzed because shackles are too tight for you to move?"

Emma: "There's another possibility. Maybe the spider already bit you, and it's one of those that leaves you paralyzed, and it looks like you're dead for several hours."

The spider crosses Walt's thin waistband and moves across his stomach.

Walt: "What? It hasn't bit me, but if that happens, can you promise not to bury me alive or anything?"

Emma: "Of course. At least no deeper than your neck."

Zach musters his courage, and tries to knock the spider off Walt with a broken rubber sword blade. The spider clings to Walt, and gets agitated, and crawls further upward on his chest.

Walt: "Zaaaaach, kill this thing before it kills me!"

Zach takes a deep breath, and then whacks the arachnid with the side of the sword blade, which squashes the spider against Walt's chest. The spider's innards get splattered over Walt's body.

Walt: "Ugh!"

Emma: "Ewwwww, gross!"

Gravity causes the spider remains to ooze slowly down Walt's body.

Walt: "Yuck! Get that disgusting stuff off me!"

Zach: "You should be thanking me."

Walt realizes he is in no position to argue. "Thank you Zach. Now can you please get this crud off me?"

Zach: "I'm not touching that stuff. You can wash it off after you get loose."

Emma: "Oh come on, here." Wincing, Emma takes a broken rubber sword blade and scrapers the spider remains off Walt.

Walt: "Thanks a lot, guys. Now what are we going to do?"

Zach: "We could tickle you. That sometimes makes things happen."

Walt: "But that's also already been done, and I don't want to cause another natural disaster. There's no telling what might happen. That should be only a last resort."

Walt's stomach growls loudly.

Emma: "I guess we can feed you. Zach, let's find some food."

Walt: "Do you have to leave me alone?"

Emma: "We can food twice as quickly with two."

Walt: "But what if another spider comes?"

Emma: "Okay, I'll stay and watch you."

Zach: "Of course she will."

Zach steps outside, and in a few minutes climbs a mango tree, and throws some fruit onto the ground. Out of nowhere Vincent charges by and catches one of the mangoes in his mouth.

Zach: "Vincent! Long time no see! Walt's in trouble can you help?"

Zach coaxes Vincent back to the Purple Pebble with the offer of more mangoes. The Labrador is apparently hungry. They get inside the ship.

Walt: "Vincent! You finally came back to me when I need help. Now can you get me out of this?"

Vincent blinks, not believing what he sees at first, and then collapses to the floor, convulsing with laughter at the sight of his ninety-nine percent nude master helplessly immobilized shackled to the wall.

Walt is indignant. "Why can't you ever act like a normal dog and help me once in a while?"

Emma: "Give him time. Here, have something to eat."

Emma feeds Walt a mango, and the juice dribbles down his chin, chest, and stomach. Vincent catches his breath, and the thirsty animal smells a new source of liquid. He licks the juice off Walt, tickling him in the process. Then the Lab uses his excellent vision to determine how the shackles work. He barks once, and runs off.

Emma: "I'm sure he's going to get help."

Walt: "But who? I don't want any of the grownups to see me like this."

Zach: "I can keep guard, and if any grownups come along, I'll scare them away."

Walt, with some sarcasm: "Great idea."

Nobody comes for two hours, during which time Emma feeds Walt more juicy mangoes, and wipes juice from off him from time to time. Then Vincent returns with Gussie the Polar Bear.

Walt: "Gussie! Can you break these chains?"

Gussie ambles over, looks at the shackle on Walt's right ankle, extends a claw, and sticks it in the shackle mechanism. The claw's curvature is perfect, and the claw is long and strong enough to separate the ratchet on one part of the shackle from the serrated groove on the other part, and the shackle pulls right off. Gussie repeats the procedure for Walt's left ankle, and then both wrists. Walt lowers his arms slowly and takes small, careful steps, relieved at the ability to move again.

Walt: "Thank you very much, Gussie. And you too, Vincent."

Gussie licks Walt's face, and then lumbers off. Vincent barks once more, and follows Gussie.

Zach: "Wow, that was amazing. How long was Walt shackled?"

Emma: "Four hours. We can't miss a chance to use one of the numbers. At least it was the smallest one."

Walt: "I wouldn't have objected if that number was smaller."

Emma: "Well, it looks like you grew another inch just now. But that might settle down in a little while."

Walt: "Whatever. That whole scene was just too humiliating."

Emma: "Yes, I can see why this scene needs to be deleted."

Zach: "Awww."

Walt: "Maybe there'll be a scene some day that you want deleted."

Emma: "Now what do we do?"

Walt: "We move onto the next scene, and insist this scene never happened. It goes like this:"

Walt takes a few steps, and points to the upper level of the ship.

Walt: "And up here is a gang plank. You can walk the plank and jump into that pile of leaves."


	61. Left Behind Hogtied

After falling into the lagoon, Charlotte swims through the slimy water, and reaches the surface. She paddles her way toward the edge where Daniel is looking, alarmed. There is a steep drop-off at the edge where Daniel is. Daniel braces himself by holding onto a small tree with one hand and extending the other toward Charlotte. Charlotte grabs Daniel's hand, and they try to pull her up, but her arms are covered with so much slime and algae that she slips back into the water. She resurfaces.

Charlotte: "I need something less slippery to hold on to!"

Daniel: "Like what? Hold higher up on my arm?"

Charlotte lunges for Daniel's forearm, and grasps his long shirt sleeve. Her hand is still very slimy, and she starts slipping again. She lunges again, grabbing Daniel's collar with her other hand. She pulls herself partway up, when suddenly the material gives way and Daniel's shirt is ripped off, and Charlotte falls back into the water. Fortunately Daniel's necktie remains intact. Daniel goes into shock and is left speechless with his mouth agape. Charlotte struggles to the surface, the torn shirt in her hand.

Charlotte: "Get a grip, Daniel! There's seaweed and stuff here that's getting tangled in my legs! Help me out!"

Charlotte flings the torn shirt to Daniel. His mind is blank for several seconds, and then begins to work again.

Daniel: "The tensile strength of this material will be greatly increased if it's twisted. Hold on a second." Daniel twists the shirt while Charlotte treads water at the edge of the lagoon. A minute later, he is ready. He extends the twisted shirt toward Charlotte. She grabs it, and this time they are successful in pulling Charlotte out, although Charlotte falls on top of Daniel.

Charlotte: "Daniel, you saved my life."

Daniel: "You're exaggerating. Now get off me. We have a mission to accomplish."

Charlotte gets up. "Is there something wrong with you?"

Daniel: "How can we complete our mission when I look like this? This shirt may now be contaminated with all sorts of tropical diseases, and I can't wear it any more. I feel ridiculous, and will probably get sunburned."

Charlotte: "I could have drowned, and you're worried about your appearance? Don't you have any sense of what is important?"

Daniel: "S-s-sorry, I-I-I … Daniel takes a good look at Charlotte. "Maybe you should be concerned about your appearance. You look like a creature from one of the 'Swamp Thing' type movies."

Charlotte is miffed that Daniel isn't taking more of an interest in her.

Daniel: "If you're through with the dramatics, let's get on with the mission." Daniel goes over to his backpack, digs out his satellite phone, and dials the secret number. "Hello, Naomi?"

* * *

Naomi is on the beach with several Oceanics when she sees the light on her satellite phone go on. It is not a good time for a private conversation, so she will have to use some code phrases.

Naomi: "Hello, Naomi here, with my new friends."

Daniel understands that Naomi is not alone, and has to arrange to talk a little while later.

Daniel: "Good to hear that. Um, it looks like we'll be able to take the helicopter out there in two days."

Jack: "Who is that?"

Naomi: "That's Daniel Faraday, one of our crew members. He's a brilliant scientist. Daniel, that was Jack, the doctor here who needs to be a part of everything."

Desmond: "Daniel Faraday? For some reason that name seems familiar."

Sayid: "There was a famous physicist named Faraday, but his first name was Michael."

Michael looks up from his artwork. "Did somebody ask for me?"

Kate: "No, just a worthless coincidence that you don't have the most unusual first name in the world. Go back to what you were doing."

Shannon: "There's a unit of charge named after Faraday, and also the farad, a unit of capacitance. And my brother is well up there regarding unusual first names."

Boone: "There's nothing wrong with an unusual first name. And what about Hurley?"

Shannon: "I never said there was anything wrong. And 'Hurley' is a nickname, anyway."

Jack: "I think we got off the subject. Is there any important news?"

Daniel: "Just that it should be two days until we're ready to rescue you. So sit tight and don't let anything bad happen. Over and out."

Sun: "I don't think Claire and Charlie will be back from their honeymoon by then."

Jin: "Don't they still have the radio? We can call them in case of an emergency."

Sun: "Sure. But they and we are at a low point in activity, so it's nice to give them a mention."

Jin: "Oh, I see. And it helps us at the same time."

Cindy: "So what are we going to do for two days?"

Kate: "We haven't played 'I never' in a long time. It's a perfect opportunity, with the kids gone, and Hurley and Libby off on their picnic. That really wasn't Hurley's game."

Cindy: "A long time? I never played 'I Never'."

Boone: "Hey, Cindy got in a clever line."

Shannon: "Cindy, your group wasn't here when we played last. It's a fun game. We need to get some appropriate beverages, and we have them in the hatch."

Shannon, Boone, and Cindy go to the Swan Station. Inside are Sawyer, Ana-Lucia, Eko, and Locke, sharing button-pushing duty and keeping an eye on Juliet and each other.

Shannon: "We're going to play 'I never,' and need some drinks."

Sawyer: "That's the best idea I've heard all day. What do you think, Juliet?"

Juliet will go along with whatever Sawyer says. "Absolutely. We never did anything like that in Othersville."

Locke: "I think I'll pass and stay here."

Eko: "And let you allows the timer to run down? I think you better come with us."

Locke: "There's Rose and Bernard as the backups. I wouldn't blow up this place with them inside."

Ana-Lucia: "So you'll coax them outside and then blow it up."

Locke: "That sounds like a plan. I mean …"

Sawyer: "Forget it, Pyrotechnician. If you want to stay behind after the rest of us are off this rock, then okay."

Locke grumbles, but soon he, Eko, Ana-Lucia, Sawyer, and Juliet collect cases of Dharpa brand beer and head back for the beach.

* * *

While Shannon, Boone, and Cindy are at the Swan, Naomi excuses herself to visit the outhouse Michael built a long time ago but got forgotten because of the more amenable facilities in the hatch. When the coast is clear, she calls Daniel.

Naomi: "Daniel? I can talk now. What is your status?"

Daniel: "Not so good. The helicopter had problems and we had to bail out. I've tried contacting Frank but he doesn't answer."

Charlotte: "Hey, I'm here too. I almost drowned."

Daniel: "Oh right. Fortunately she was able to cut off her heavy uniform. And … might there be a spare shirt for me somewhere?"

Naomi: "No, and concentrate on the task at hand."

Charlotte: "Did you find out where the Tempest is?"

Naomi: "No. There is a person here now, Juliet Burke, who should know, but I haven't had a chance to get to talk with her alone. But there's a possibility of getting information from her – this crowd is going to play 'I Never' soon."

Daniel: "What's 'I Never'? I never heard of it."

Charlotte: "Are you trying to be funny?"

Daniel: "No. What are you talking about?"

Charlotte: "You repeated 'I never' … oh never mind. It's a popular social game where people takes turns saying that they never did something, and you take a drink if you did do the thing they said."

Daniel: "Sounds puerile. Now let's try to concentrate at the task at hand."

Naomi: "Fine. Now use Charlotte's phone to contact Miles and see what his status is."

Charlotte calls up Miles, who is still entangled in tree branches and vines over what looks like a swamp. Miles twists to reach his phone and falls a little.

Charlotte: "Miles? What's your status?"

Miles: "My parachute is all tangled up in branches. I have to be careful."

Charlotte: "Be careful then. Daniel and I are here, and can see your position. Naomi, how about you?"

Naomi: "I can see all your positions. You're way too far to the east, but at least you're not very far apart, no more than one kilometer. Miles, disentangle yourself and report when you're on solid ground."

Miles: "Good to hear from you too, Naomi. I'm signing off now; I need both hands to do this."

Miles shoves his satellite phone in a side pocket of his backpack, pulls out a knife, and tries to climb down safely. However, when he cuts the parachute lines, a branch supporting his weight breaks, and he falls into the swamp. He sinks. _Quicksand? Don't panic. I won't sink too far as long as I'm not carrying anything heavy, like a pack – which I am!_ Panic-stricken, Miles tears off his heavy pack and heaves it over the edge of the swamp. He stops sinking, but is in more than waist deep. The closest branch is a meter over his head, out of reach. He tries to make his way out, but sinks a few millimeters more. _I could have used some of the stuff in that pack. Now what? I can't call for help on the phone since I just threw it away._ "Can anyone hear me?" No response. Miles stares at his knife which is all he is left holding. _Can I do something with this?_

* * *

Charlotte tries calling Frank again. This time the ringing wakes Frank up.

Charlotte: "Frank? What happened?"

Frank: "What do you think happened? The chopper crashed. I've never seen so many things go wrong at once. But since I'm such a magnificent pilot, I was able to land well enough to be able to crawl away. But I twisted my ankle real bad. Can you come get me?"

Daniel: "Yes, we see where you are on the radar on this phone."

Charlotte: "Naomi's on the other line. Naomi, what are your orders?"

Naomi: "Our mission is getting delayed no matter what. We don't know where the target is. Find Frank and Miles and bring them here. For all his psychological issues, we do have a highly competent doctor present. I'd go over there myself but that would raise too much suspicion. Can you see where I am?"

Charlotte: "Yes. You're quite a ways away."

Naomi: "We have to deal with the situation as it is. By the time you get here I may have learned where the Tempest is."

* * *

Walt and Zach remain hogtied in a jungle field. Walt wriggles for several minutes, trying hard to free himself, while Zach is rather distressed.

Zach: "Walt! Do something!"

Walt: "Calm down. Your sister did a great job with these knots. She must have taken lessons from John, or Ethan. I honestly can't get loose. We'll have to untie each other. Come over here, and I'll meet you halfway."

Still on his stomach, Walt twists his body, aiming toward Zach, and methodically rocks his body from one knee to the opposite shoulder, and twisting each time to maintain a constant direction. When Zach tries to move, he just falls over on his side.

Walt: "Come on! Don't make me do all the work."

Zach: "How do you do that? You're really good."

Walt: "I've had lots of practice thanks to John. You may as well hold still so I can see what I'm aiming for."

After a few minutes, Walt reaches Zach. Walt rolls onto his side so his fingers can reach the knot on the rope connecting Zach's hands to his feet. It takes Walt four minutes to untie that knot. Zach's legs straighten out, and he breathes a sigh of relief despite his hands still being bound behind his back and his feet tied.

Walt: "Now it's your turn. Untie this knot."

Walt moves so that Zach can reach the knot hogtying Walt. Zach is not good at this. In fifteen minutes he has only loosened the knot a little, but that proves to be enough for Walt to move the knot to within reach of his fingers and he unties it the rest of the way. Walt now takes a deep breath.

Walt: "Wow, that was exhilarating!"

Zach: "Really? We're still tied up, in case you didn't notice."

Walt: "But the rest is easy. I'll untie your hands now."

Walt and Zach roll so they are back to back. In another four minutes Walt has Zach's hands untied. Zach gratefully brings his hands in front of himself and rubs his shoulders.

Zach: "Thanks, Walt. We'll have to get Emma for this some time."

Walt: "Sure, but can you untie my hands now? It should be easier now that you can see what you're doing."

Zach crawls over to Walt and again just manages to loosen the knot, so that after four minutes there is enough slack for Walt to pull his hands free. He also relishes the opportunity to rub his shoulders.

Zach: "So can you untie my feet now?"

Walt: "Can't you do that yourself?"

Zach: "The knot's in back."

Walt: "Same here, but you can do this."

Walt gets on his back, draws his knees to his chest, and reaches to his ankles, and unties that knot in a minute. When Zach tries the same, he has a lot of trouble. Walt sighs, and unties the last knot for Zach:

Walt: "You're really pretty bad at this."

Zach: "So what makes you so good?"

Walt: "I had lots of practice thanks to John Locke. Didn't I say before? He'd tie me up, but never as tight as Emma just now, as part of my training for tracking and walkabouts. That way he'd get enough of a head start that I couldn't follow by listening to him move."

Zach: "So you let him tie you up all the time? That's crazy. I didn't let him tie me up when he wanted to."

Walt: "Hey, if I didn't have the experience of moving around when tied up, we'd both still be hogtied out there. We might have died of starvation or thirst. Now who's the crazy one?"

Zach is shaken, and starts to see the logic in Walt's arguments.

Zach: "But … if someone tied me or Emma up, our parents would have brought charges and sued him for all he's worth."

Walt: "When my dad found out John was tying me up almost every day, he gave John his wholehearted approval."

Zach: "That's … an interesting father you got."

Walt: "Yeah. He used to be a jerk, but we're cool now. But seriously, being able to escape from being tied up is a very useful skill. You never know when you might be kidnapped, or someone breaks into your home and ties you up. Being able to escape could save your life, so you should practice it."

Zach is convinced by the clarity of Walt's logic. "I guess I wasn't thinking straight when I refused to let John tie me up. I definitely do need the practice. When's a good time?"

Walt: "I'll be delighted to help you, but we have to rescue Emma. And in order to make sure this doesn't happen again, we've got to bring the real Alex to Danielle."

Zach: "You mean, someone's going to Othersville and convince Alex to come here?"

Walt: "Yes. But we have to find out where Emma is first."

Walt and Zach follow the trial left by Emma, and in an hour find where the entrance to Danielle's bunker must be.

Zach: "Now what? Should we tell the adults Emma is here?"

Walt: "You can. I can't go back yet; it will still be a few days before Sun can make Libby's medicine and if Libby sees me, there's no telling what she would do. I'll have to go to Othersville and find Alex."

Zach: "Wouldn't it be better if we stick together?"

Walt: "Yes. I don't want to force you to go, though."

Zach: "Couldn't we have some of the grownups come?"

Walt: "We could, but that will take an extra two days, going back to our camp and coming back here, and time may be of the essence. I'll have to go anyway, since I'm the only one who knows where she lives."

Zach makes up his mind. "I'm not going to be a coward. I'm coming with you, and we'll be heroes after this is over."

Walt: "Good for you. Let's get going."

Zach: "Oh, I just thought of something. Won't you get in trouble for crossing the blue line?"

Walt: "Maybe, but I'm sure Dad will understand since Emma's life may be at stake. And besides, he can't do worse than anything that's already happened to me."

* * *

Danielle and Emma have a chat in Danielle's bunker.

Danielle: "This may be hard to accept, Alex, but you were stolen from me when you were a week old."

Emma: "By whom?"

Danielle: "The man's name is Benjamin Linus."

Emma reacts: "I've heard that name. He kidnapped Claire and Walt. He might also have kidnapped this guy Nathan in a red shirt that everyone forgot about. Ben must really like kidnapping people."

Danielle: "Apparently so. Now tell me your life story as you remember it."

Emma: "I lived my whole life in California with my parents, and my brother Zach was born when I was two. A few months ago my father got this assignment in Australia, so he had to go out and live there for a year, but my mother, brother and me and stayed where we were because of her job."

Danielle: "That was not your real mother. I am your mother. Those Others brainwashed you into thinking otherwise."

Emma: "But it seems so real. We have pictures, and I remember school, and everything."

Danielle: "The Others are very good at implanting false memories. Why don't you tell me what you remember about getting on this island?"

Emma: "Our flight crashed here. The group I was in, crashed in a different place than the larger group. We struggled to survive for a few weeks, and then found a good shelter in this place called The Arrow. About seven weeks after the crash we found Walt, who was trying to escape."

Danielle: "Is this the same boy you just hogtied?"

Emma: "Yes. And he was all tied up then too, trying to escape by hopping. I'll never forget that sight; he was handcuffed and gagged, and had "BAD BOY" painted on his front and that goofy Dharpa heptagon on his back. I can't believe he's really an Other."

Danielle: "Was he coming from the direction of the Others' village?"

Emma: "Yes, but that's because he was escaping."

Danielle: "That's what they wanted you to think. Now what happened after that?"

Emma: "After a few days, Walt and Goodwin disappeared. We now know Goodwin took Walt away back to their village. The rest of us then found the larger group, and we've been living together. This nice man named John Locke trained Zach and me, and we rescued Walt. The Others had tied him down spread-eagled on a table, and he told us this pendulum thing with a feather duster came down slowly and tickled him, and it probably caused the earthquake a few days ago."

Danielle: "The Others are clever. That's the sort of thing they would do to convince you Walt wasn't one of them."

Emma: "But it doesn't make any sense. Walt can't be a plant; he was on the plane with all the rest of us and lived with the larger group for weeks."

Danielle: "Even so, he could be a plant. Now tell me why you three were out this far away from your camp?"

Emma: "This other woman from my group named Libby has a psychological disorder and thinks Walt is an extraterrestrial alien. She will be better when Sun makes more medicine from some plants, but that will take a few days. Everyone decided it would be best if we stayed away from her until then."

Danielle: "You really believe this Zach is your brother and Walt is who he says he is?"

Emma: "You can ask the people in our camp. One of them is Walt's father, Michael. They'll tell you everything."

Danielle frowns, as it is apparent Emma does not believe Danielle is her mother. There is something going on, but Danielle needs time to figure it out.

Emma wants a chance to see if she can rescue Walt and Zach. "You said we were going to go hunting?"

Danielle thinks _She's trying to get hold of a rifle. I don't trust her with a firearm._ "Yes. Now you won't try to run away, will you?"

Emma is afraid of what might happen if she tries to escape with Danielle watching. "No, I won't." _I'll wait until tonight after she falls asleep._

Danielle and Emma go out, with Danielle deliberately avoiding the area where the boys were left hogtied.


	62. I Never Get It

The main group has settled on the beach for the game of "I never."

Cindy: "So explain the rules."

Kate: "Each one of us makes a statement of the form, 'I never … did something.' Then everyone who did that thing, including whoever makes the statement, takes a drink. Everyone who didn't do that thing, doesn't."

Cindy: "What's the object of the game?"

Sawyer: "It depends on the person, but I think a fine goal is to get wasted and forget how much time we've had to spend here."

Kate: "Who wants to go first and show Cindy how it works?"

Shannon: "I'll go. I never spent money frivolously." Shannon takes a gulp of beer, and then so do Sawyer, Boone, Sun, Juliet, and Michael after some hesitation. Then Cindy takes a small sip.

Sawyer: "Of course Doctor High and Mighty would never do such a thing. But you? Are you human?"

Kate: _Must not let anyone suspect my criminal past. _"Hey, you're not supposed to comment on the other players' action. And they don't have to explain if they don't want to. It's just that I never had much money."

Jin: "Me too, until after I got a good job after meeting Sun."

Sayid: "I never had any money."

Sawyer: "Then how'd you get to Australia?"

Sayid: "Government business."

Michael mutters: "I spent too much on baby things for Walt. He didn't really appreciate it."

Kate: "We're getting off track. Time for another statement."

Sawyer: "I never looked anyone straight in the eye and lied to their face." Sawyer takes a big swig.

Kate: "Did you say that so you could drink more than the rest of us?"

Sawyer grins. "I don't have to explain anything."

After a few seconds, Sayid, Jack, Sun, Juliet, Naomi, and Ana-Lucia drink.

Eko: "Ana-Lucia, I'm surprised. Thou shalt not bear false wit…"

Ana-Lucia: "Can it for once. It's part of being a cop's job. Lying to suspects often enables justice to prevail."

Sawyer: "And the Good Doctor?"

Jack: "I told a patient she was going to be fine when there was no real chance of her not being paralyzed for life. It was to keep her spirits up and improve the bad prognosis that she did have."

Kate: "There, there, don't feel so bad. Let's have another statement."

Boone: "I got a good one. I never got called a nickname by Sawyer."

Everybody but Sawyer and Naomi take a drink.

Naomi: "Did I miss something?"

Boone: "Looks like Sawyer is slipping. Also I don't think he ever called himself anything, so he doesn't drink this round."

Sawyer slaps his forehead. "Can't believe Ol' Southern Charm forgot to address Ms. G. I. Jane here properly. Whatever are we going to do about that?"

Shannon: "Looks like you just solved that problem."

Naomi and Sawyer take drinks.

Jin: "I get it. I never got unreasonably jealous." Jin takes a swig of beer, and soon Shannon, Boone, Jack, Sawyer, and Juliet join him.

Jack thinks Kate isn't drinking enough. "I never led on two or more people at the same time trying to get them to fight over me."

Kate, Shannon, Boone, and Juliet drink.

Kate thinks up revenge. "I never got an ugly tattoo."

Jack and Sawyer drink.

Kate: "Sawyer, you have a tattoo?"

Sawyer: "I could just be thirsty."

Desmond pipes in. "I never got lonely."

Desmond, Michael, Locke, Sayid, Sawyer, Cindy, and Eko drink.

Michael: "I never thought that Walt just might be an extraterrestrial alien."

Everyone except Jack, Locke, Sayid, and Naomi drinks.

Ana-Lucia: "I never got too bossy." Everyone except Boone and Cindy drink.

Eko: "I never did anything in my past that I am ashamed of."

Everybody drinks.

Sun: "I never had Daddy issues."

Everyone except Desmond, Cindy, and Naomi drinks.

Juliet: "I never withheld information that might have been very useful to someone."

Everyone except Cindy drinks.

Cindy: "I guess I shouldn't have told anyone how off course our flight was. Umm, I never was afraid of flying."

Everyone except Sayid and Naomi drinks.

Sayid: "I never acted too much like a know-it-all."

Sayid, Jack, and Eko drink.

Naomi: "I never tried to take advantage of my good looks to get something."

Everyone except Jack, Locke, Eko, and Cindy drinks.

Locke: "I never played anything so ridiculous as this in my life."

Everybody drinks, and no one is very coherent. Naomi struggles to keep alert, ready to question Juliet about the Tempest, but needs a good opportunity. Locke also is keeping an eye out, having managed to drink less than the rest.

* * *

Hurley and Libby have a nice picnic far down the beach. As they return, they see a lot of people sprawled out on the beach.

Hurley: "Whoa dudes, what happened here?"

Libby: "It could have been an alien invasion."

Hurley: "I don't think so … um, can anybody speak?"

Naomi: "Just a friendly little game of 'I never'. They said you wouldn't be interested."

Hurley: "Uh, that's right. That's not my thing."

Libby: "These people don't look suitable for button-pushing duty."

Hurley: "That's right. Guess we better go relieve Rose and Bernard."

Hurley and Libby continue on to the hatch and take over for Rose and Bernard.

* * *

After a few hours, Charlotte and Daniel find Frank near the helicopter, which is in the opposite direction from where Miles is stuck in the swamp.

Charlotte: "Frank, how are you?"

Frank: "Not great, but it could be worse. I'm sure my ankle is sprained. And … am I seeing things? Those are interesting outfits you have. Charlotte, I don't remember you wearing a green bikini in the chopper. And Daniel, that tie without a shirt is quite some fashion statement."

Daniel coughs. "Charlotte had to remove most of her clothes because she was falling into a lagoon, and her outfit was rather heavy. Then there was a little accident in pulling her out. But that's not important now. We have to make sure the team is all right and execute our mission. Now what is the status of the helicopter?"

Frank: "It suffered heavy damage. I don't have the heavy tools needed to make repairs, and it's unlikely they exist on this island."

Charlotte: "That will make it difficult to leave after our mission is complete."

Frank: "No duh. Are there other possibilities?"

Daniel: "We should contact Naomi."

Daniel rings up Naomi on his satellite phone. "Naomi, are you there?"

* * *

Naomi sees a light on her satellite phone flash. She wobbles off, so Locke or anyone else can't here. Her speech is somewhat slurred. "Yeah, I'm here. What is it?"

Daniel: "We located Frank and the helicopter. The helicopter looks damaged beyond repair. Frank is damaged, but not beyond repair. What have you found out?"

Naomi: "The people on this island have a lot of quirks, but nothing of vital importance yet. I should be able to question Juliet about the Tempest soon. What is Frank's status?"

Frank speaks into the phone. "I've got a sprained ankle, but I'll live. I doubt this chopper will fly again, though."

Naomi: "Well, there is the possibility of leaving by submarine in a few days. But of course we have to accomplish our mission first. You may as well bring Frank here, and I'll invent a story explaining everything."

* * *

Miles remains stuck waist deep in the swamp for four hours. Using his knife blade as a paddle proves completely ineffective. _This isn't good. Probably no one knows where I am because my phone is off. And anything I might be able to use to reach that branch above me is in my pack. I have nothing to help me … wait, I might be able to use my shirt, but it can't be long enough. My pants are too far under the quicksand to remove._

Miles carefully takes off his shirt, which is covered with slime at the bottom. As expected, the shirt is too short to reach the branch, but Miles has an idea. He uses his knife to cut his shirt into a few long strips, cutting diagonally to get strips as long as possible. He flings his makeshift rope over the branch, and catches the other end. He tries to pull himself up, or the branch toward him. He drags himself up a decimeter, and then the shirt rips. The force of him falling down drives him in deeper, up to his chest.

_That didn't work out so good. I need to make this rope stronger._

Miles then twists the pieces together several times, and tries again. This time he is successful in pulling himself up some and the branch down to him. He grasps the branch, and methodically makes his way hand over hand toward the trunk of the tree, which is on more solid ground. It is slow going, and he is careful not to make any more false moves lest he sink deeper. After forty-two minutes he is finally free. Miles digs out his satellite phone.

"Miles here, what's going on?"

Naomi: "The chopper is damaged too much. We need to make other plans for leaving after our mission is accomplished. For now, go find Daniel, and Charlotte, and help them bring Frank over here. He's was hurt."

Miles: "Does anyone care how I am?"

Naomi: "You're the least important, but okay, how are you?"

Miles: "Thanks for asking. I'm fine now, but was stuck in a swamp for about an hour."

Naomi: "That's nice. How did you get out?"

Miles: "I had to cut my shirt into strips to make a rope to swing around a branch to pull myself out."

Naomi: "That was very clever of you."

Miles: "Thanks."

Naomi: "Sounds like you'll fit in just fine on this island."

* * *

Walt and Zach are on their long hike to Othersville to inform Alex of the truth about her mother.

Walt: "Since we've got nothing to do while we're walking over there, this is a good time for you to practice escaping from being tied up."

Zach: "All right, but take it easy, okay?"

Walt has had the foresight to carry some of the ropes with which Emma had hogtied him and Zach.

Walt: "We'll start out easy, and work our way up. First, hold your hands out together in front of you."

Zach complies, and Walt ties his hands rather loosely.

Walt: "Now keep walking since we don't want to lose time, and work your way loose."

Zach twists his hands a few times, and soon pulls one hand free. Then there is plenty of room to slide the other hand out from the loop.

Zach: "That was neat, but I bet that was too easy."

Walt: "It was, but that's the way to do it. That's how John started with me. Now let's try this again."

Zach lets Walt tie his hands rather tightly. They continue walking.

Zach: "Hey, I can't get my hands loose. This is too tight."

Walt: "So think of something. Don't give up so easy. And keep walking."

Zach: "Like there might be something sharp I can rub this against?"

Walt: "Maybe."

They keep going, but Zach doesn't see anything sharp enough, like a rock or tree branch. Then he gets the idea of using his teeth. It takes fifteen minutes, but Zach eventually loosens the knot enough to pull his hands free. "Cool, I did it!"

Walt: "Now doesn't that feel great?"

Zach: "It does now. It was annoying, though, for a while."

Walt: "That's how it works. It has to be a challenge to escape; otherwise there's no great sense of accomplishment when you succeed. That thrill has kept me going for a long time since I've been on this island, like the times I was in a net trap or buried in the sand."

Zach: "I guess you're right. I just never thought of it. So what's next?"

Walt: "Next we try tying your hands loosely behind your back. It's more comfortable if you cross your wrists; there's less strain on your shoulders."

Zach: "How do you know – oh, you're speaking from experience?"

Walt: "Uh, yes, John and the Others were kind enough to give me a great deal of experience in this matter. Since you're new to this, I want to take it easy on you at first."

Zach: "Okay."

Zach stops walking, and crosses his hands behind his back. Walt loops a rope from top to bottom, and then left to right, lashing Zach's wrists together. Then Walt grins evilly. When it's too late for Zach to do anything, Walt tightens the rope considerably, loops it around top to bottom and left to right again, and finishes it off with a tight knot.

Zach: "Hey, that feels awful tight."

Walt uses the same psychology that Ethan used on him. "Don't tell me you're not tough enough to handle this. I thought you weren't a wimp."

Zach: "I'm not a wimp!"

Walt: "Then keep going and try to get loose."

Zach begins to suspect that Walt may have tricked him. After sixteen minutes of struggling, twisting his wrists and wriggling his fingers, but making no progress, Zach complains. "Hey, this isn't loose at all. There's no way I can get loose."

Walt faces Zach with an evil grin. "Bleah heh heh heh heh!"

Zach: "What?"

Walt: "I've been waiting forever to play another game of cops and robbers, but this time I'm the cop."

Zach feels foolish. "You tricked me!"

Walt: "I told you I was going to get even with you for teasing me when we were at the Arrow and for pushing me down into that mountain of capsules. Now that you've been captured, play right and keep trying to get loose."

Zach: "But this isn't fair. The way you tied me I can't reach anything with my fingers."

Walt grins wickedly again: "I know. Also there's not enough room for you to bring your hands down over your butt and behind your legs and then over your feet in front of you."

Zach tries, but Walt is right. "You really had this planned, didn't you?"

Walt: "Yes I did. I'm quite the mastermind, aren't I?"

Zach sputters. "You … you …." Zach is exasperated. "Is this just like you let Ethan do to you?"

Walt: "Pretty much. Only then it was real handcuffs, and we didn't have a key."

Zach tries to keep a sour look on his face, but the hilarity of his situation takes over his thoughts. He had let himself get in the same situation that Walt had been in when they were together at the Arrow. Zach bursts out laughing, a lot at his own naiveté. When he settles down, he asks, "So how long am I going to be your prisoner?"

Walt: "Actually, I really don't want to have to feed you, so if you behave and be a good little prisoner, I'll release you when we're ready to eat and settle in for the night."

Zach: "That's a deal. I don't really want to be fed by you either."

Danielle takes Emma on the hunting trip. Emma wants to check up on W

* * *

alt and Zach, but Danielle isn't taking them in their direction.

Danielle: "Quiet, Alex! There's a boar up ahead. He's moving very slowly."

Emma isn't sure how she's going to handle this. Suddenly the boar drops to the ground. Danielle approaches it cautiously.

Emma: "Are you going to shoot it?"

Danielle: "I don't have to. It just dropped dead, of old age. You can tell by the features on its face."

Emma: "Uh, good, I guess."

Danielle: "Now help me carry it back home. We'll have something good to eat tonight, and we can make you something for fitting to wear."

Emma: "Wonderful."

Emma grits her teeth as she picks up the boar's hind legs and Danielle picks up the front.

Danielle: "Don't look so distressed, daughter. This is going to be your life from now on."

Emma: "Er, great, Mom." _I am so breaking out of here tonight when she's asleep._


	63. Shrinkwrapped

With most of the passengers passed out from the game of "I never," Naomi grabs her chance to get information from Juliet. Locke pretends to be unconscious, but silently stalks Naomi as she helps Juliet, who is rather drunk, a short ways into the woods.

Naomi: "Juliet, can you talk?"

Juliet: "I guess so."

Naomi: "What do you know about a station called the Tempest?"

Juliet: "The Tempest? That's the thing in a teapot, right?"

Naomi: "No, not that tempest. I mean a building, on this island."

Juliet sings: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, and here is my spout."

Naomi: "Pull yourself together. I'm talking about a station, like the Swan, Staff, Flame, Arrow, Pearl, Orchid, or Looking Glass."

Juliet sings some more: "And if that looking glass gets broke, Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat."

Naomi: "Can you please focus on the Tempest? Do you know where it is?"

Juliet: "Tempest. Oh, I think I remember Ben saying something about I have no reason to go there. It might have a bad effect on my research."

Naomi: "But Ben lies all the time, so you can't be sure."

Juliet: "Too bad."

Naomi: "But you can still be helpful. Do you know where The Tempest is?"

Juliet points to the north-northeast. "A long ways that way somewhere."

Naomi: "Thank you. Can you be more specific?"

Juliet: "There are a lot of good looking men here, but specifically isn't Sawyer the most handsome?"

Naomi: "I suppose so, but I meant can you be more specific as to where The Tempest is?"

Juliet draws a circle on the ground and puts her finger on a point. "About here."

Naomi realizes this is not going to produce precise enough information. "Why don't you show me later when we have a map?"

Juliet: "Whatever. Do you have a map?"

Naomi: "No. Do you?"

Juliet: "No. But there ought to be one in the Swan." Juliet gets so light-headed that she has to lie down.

Naomi sighs, and heads back to the beach, where she runs into Locke.

Locke: "What was that all about?"

Naomi: "Oh, just girl talk."

Locke fiddles with a knife. "You don't seriously expect me to believe that."

Naomi: "Well, what did you want me to say? That my crew has something to do before we rescue you?"

Locke: "That would have been a perfectly fine thing to say."

Naomi: "Okay, then maybe my crew has something to do before we rescue you."

Locke: "Are you sure rescuing us is the right thing to do? Maybe we don't all want to be rescued."

Naomi: "Anyone who wants to stay behind certainly may." Naomi furrows her brow toward Locke. :"Is there something you're getting at?"

Locke: "The island isn't ready for my people to leave."

Naomi: "Your people?"

Locke: "You know what I mean. The passengers on Oceanic 815. And I might go to great lengths to make sure nobody leaves before they are meant to." Locke twirls his knife, and then throws it into a tree near Naomi's head.

Naomi shudders. "Fine. Maybe we'll just perform our mission and get out."

Locke: "That sounds like an excellent idea." Locke retrieves his knife and strides away.

* * *

The passengers remain mostly passed out for hours until a light rain on the beach wakes them up.

Shannon: "That was fun. We'll have to do that again some time."

Sun: "Maybe later in the day?"

Sawyer: "Any time is a good time to get blasted. It's not as if we have anything better to do."

Michael: "Sawyer has a good point."

Kate: "It's good to see you two agreeing and getting along so well. I agree with both of you."

Jin must stick up for Sun. "If we do this again, after dinner may be better for some of us."

Boone: "There's no reason everyone can't do this when they want to. We could even have each group watch the other play."

Cindy: "Boone, you can be so logical at times."

Sayid: "Let's discuss this later. It looks like a big storm is coming up, and we should get to the shelter."

Eko: "That is wise. Now where is my Jacob stick?" Eko finds it a few meters away.

Ana-Lucia: "That was really something. I forgot what we were doing here."

Desmond: "I think we were passing time until we can be rescued. When that helicopter comes, or maybe the submarine."

Jack gets up, and winces.

Kate: "Jack, what's wrong?"

Jack: "Nothing."

They all go to the hatch, where Hurley, Libby, Rose, and Bernard are preparing a big meal.

Bernard: "It looked like a big storm a little while ago when I checked outside."

Rose: "Yes, so I thought it would be a good idea to make a big dinner."

Hurley: "I agreed."

Libby: "So how did your 'I never' game go? Who won?"

There are a lot of exchanged puzzled looks.

Shannon: "This isn't exactly a game where someone wins. The point is that everyone had a good time."

Boone: "We deserve a good time after all the things that have happened here."

They all sit down to eat, and find places to sleep, many on the floor. However, Jack winces in pain as he lies down.

Kate: "Jack, you can't tell me something isn't wrong. I've heard that doctors often make the worst patients."

Jack: "I must have overexerted myself. It's just a little pain in my side. I'm sure it will be better in the morning after a good night's sleep."

* * *

Walt and Zach reach a good place to spend the night. Zach is annoyed that he couldn't free his hands, and Walt unties them. They get some fruit and water for dinner, and climb within the trunks of a banyan tree and go to sleep.

* * *

Charlotte and Daniel salvage some food and supplies from the downed helicopter, and support Frank as he hobbles westward toward the Swan Station. They don't get very far because Frank can't move fast at all. As the sun sets they pitch their portable plastic tent. Charlotte gets out her satellite phone.

Charlotte: "Miles, we're settling in for the night. Can you see where we are?"

Miles: "Boo!"

Charlotte nearly jumps out of her bikini as Miles has sneaked up from behind. Hearing Miles' shout from both the satellite phone in front of her and his real voice behind her simultaneously has an unnerving effect on Charlotte.

Charlotte: "What did you do that for?"

Miles: "You could have shown more concern about me. I could have died out there."

Charlotte: "So could we have all."

Daniel: "Let's settle down. Miles, good to see you. Did you have anything to eat and drink?"

Miles: "I had some rations in my pack, so I'm all right. And you?"

Daniel: "I'm good, actually, apart from a clothing issue, but Frank's been injured."

Frank groans: "I'm sure I'll be better after a good night's sleep. Let's get a little more to eat and then rest. We have a long hike ahead of us tomorrow, and I hope my ankle is a lot better then."

* * *

Danielle and Emma carry the boar back to Danielle's bunker. Danielle makes a fire and shows Emma how to cook the boar, but Emma is not very enthusiastic, as she is figuring out how she can escape. Danielle also cuts the boar's skin and makes a vest for Emma, similar to the one Locke has been wearing for weeks.

Danielle: "Alex, dear, what's wrong? I thought you would be more excited."

Emma puts on the vest, which naturally remains open as there are no buttons around. She takes a deep breath, and makes up her mind to go along with the crazy woman.

Emma: "It's just that this is so overwhelming. To learn that my whole life is a lie; that my parents and brother aren't who I thought they were … it's all such a huge shock. You can understand why it might take me a while to get used to this, can't you?"

Danielle thinks and has to agree. "I understand dear; those Others did some terrible things to me, and they must have to you, too. It may take a few days to get adjusted. But remember I'll always be here for you."

Emma: "Thanks, Mother. This experience has tired me out. I'd like to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. I'll probably feel a lot better in the morning then."

The explanation makes sense to Danielle. "Of course, my child."

After dinner Danielle shows Emma to her room, which contains the bed to which Danielle had handcuffed Jin several weeks before. Now the bed looks normal, with a sheet, pillow, and blanket. Danielle hugs Emma, who makes a great effort not to grimace.

Danielle: "Good night, darling Alex."

Emma: "Good night, Mother."

Emma lies down and pretends to go to sleep. Danielle then goes to her room. After two hours, Emma quietly gets up. She devises a plan that might buy her some more time. She takes off the vest, and places it so the neck is against the pillow and the blanket is pulled halfway over the vest, so at first glance it may appear that she is sleeping face down with her head under the pillows. Emma then creeps out of her room and through the outer door of the bunker, but knocks over a pyramid of tin cans that Danielle has rigged as an alarm. Quick is lightning Danielle is there with a lantern in her hand.

Danielle: "Alex! What are you doing? You weren't trying to leave, were you?"

Emma desperately searches for an excuse, and remembers one Walt used. "No, sorry I forgot to tell you, but I'm a sleepwalker. It's unpredictable, but may be because of the new situation for me."

Danielle: "That's too bad, but fortunately I have a cure for sleepwalking. Come back inside. Danielle grabs Emma's arm and takes her back to her bed. "Lie down."

Emma resignedly lies down. The room is pretty dark, illuminated only by Danielle's lantern, so Emma can't see what Danielle is doing. Then Emma feels Danielle pulling her right arm to the side and putting a bracelet on her wrist. Emma is too preoccupied to understand, and then Danielle repeats the procedure on Emma's left wrist.

Emma: "How will bracelets stop me from walking in my sleep?" Emma raises her hand to indicate to Danielle what Emma is referring to, when her hand is suddenly stopped. Her other hand meets the same fate. "Handcuffs! You can't do this to me!"

Emma kicks violently, but Danielle's eyes are used to the darkness and she deftly grabs one of Emma's legs, and secures that ankle to the frame at the foot of the bed. Within seconds Emma's other leg and ankle are similarly restrained. Danielle has chained Emma to the bed much like she did to Jin, except that his hands were cuffed over his head while Emma's are cuffed to the side as she is too short to reach both ends of the bed at once.

Emma: "How could you do this? To your own daughter?"

Danielle: "This is the only way I have to stop you from sleepwalking. We can't have you walking about asleep outside at night; it's very dangerous. I'm doing this out of love; I will never let you get hurt again."

Emma: "But … this kind of thing isn't supposed to happen to me. These things only happen to Walt, and maybe Zach."

Danielle: "You can do anything those boys can do. Now good night. I'll see you in the morning."

Danielle leaves, extinguishes her lantern, and goes to bed. Emma is left sprawled out on the bed in pitch darkness. _I need to think of a better plan._

* * *

The next day it begins pouring and the rain remains very heavy all day along. No rational being with a scintilla of sense would venture out on such a day.

Walt and Zach wake up in the banyan tree.

Walt: "Time to get moving."

Zach: "Are you kidding? It's pouring out."

Walt: "So what? Are you afraid of getting wet?"

Zach: "Um, no, but this tree gives some shelter."

Walt: "What do you need shelter for? This place is so hot, the rain is refreshing."

Zach: "Uh …."

Walt: "Come on, we have to tell Alex about Danielle and rescue Emma. We just have to be a little careful when climbing over the hills and not get stuck in the mud. Also, we don't have to worry about finding water today. You can just lie on your back and drink all you can."

Zach: "When you say it like that, it makes sense. Okay, let's go."

Walt and Zach head for Othersville. After twenty-three seconds,

Zach: "I'm completely soaked."

Walt: "Then there's no point in stopping since you can't get any more soaked."

Zach: "Wow, you are so wise."

They continue for an hour.

Zach: "There's that blue line we're not supposed to cross."

Walt: "We can say the rain washed it away so we couldn't see it."

Zach: "If Mr. Eko finds out about you lying you could be in trouble again."

Walt: "Okay. Crossing this lines means I'm lying to my Dad instead, but my mind is made up. It's worth it to save Emma."

Walt and Zach cross the line, and nothing unusual happens, though the rain may be intensifying some more.

* * *

Claire and Charlie wake up to a raging storm. Claire hugs Charlie for comfort.

Claire: "These past few days have been wonderful, but I miss Aaron terribly."

Charlie: "That's perfectly fine. When this storm lets up we'll pull up the anchor and sail to the beach. In the meantime, looks like we might have to resign ourselves to a day of cuddling."

Claire: "I can deal with that."

Sickeningly sweet music plays in the background.

* * *

In the morning, Danielle comes into Emma's room and unlocks all the handcuffs.

Danielle: "Did you sleep well, Alex?"

Emma forgets that she is supposed to answer to Danielle's daughter's name for several seconds, causing Danielle to believe that Emma doesn't really think she is Danielle's daughter.

Emma: "Okay, I guess. I think I'm cured from sleepwalking now, so you don't have to chain me to that bed any more."

Danielle: "Okay, we'll give it a try. But if you try to wander off …"

Emma: "I won't."

Danielle opens the door to the raging storm. "We can't go outside today. No matter; I can show you everything in this bunker."

Emma: "Aren't you concerned that Walt and Zach may still be out there hogtied in all this rain?"

Danielle: "No. Their people are bound to have picked them up by now. But at least they've learned a lesson."

Danielle takes Emma on the tour of her bunker.

Charlotte, Daniel, Frank, and Miles have the sense to stay within their tent and out of the pouring rain. They do make contact with Naomi, who is standing alone at the hatch entrance.

Charlotte: "Naomi? It's pouring out here. I don't think we're going anywhere today."

Naomi: "It's pouring here too. We're stuck in the Swan all day. How is Frank doing?"

Frank: "I'm a little better, but I think a day of rest will do me good."

Daniel: "Did you find out anything about the Tempest?"

Naomi: "It definitely exists, but Juliet could only tell me it's far to the north of you. We need to find a map; maybe there's one in this station."

Naomi goes back into the hatch, where almost everyone in the Swan Station sleeps very late, with many hung over from the game of "I Never." Desmond and Naomi remain awake enough to push the computer buttons as needed throughout the rest of the day.

* * *

Walt and Zach reach the Others' village at nightfall, with the rain still falling heavily. Most of the stone pillars of the security system are still down, but they stick their fingers in their ears anyway to be safe as they cross the boundary. There are no ill effects, and they sneak toward the houses when Walt stops short.

Zach: "What's wrong?"

Walt: "I just realized, Alex's house is Ben's house. Ben wouldn't like it if he finds out I told Alex he isn't her real father and that I want to take her to her mother. He won't let us, or at least me, go in that case. We can't just go marching up there."

Zach: "Guess you should have thought this out beforehand."

Walt: "We could wait for her to come out alone, but that might take forever. I know, let's go to Juliet's house. She was the nice one, and I'm sure she'd understand and help us."

Zach: "Are you sure about her? She did help keep you captive for several days."

Walt: "Yeah, but she was just following Ben's orders. She felt worse about me being tied up all the time than I did. She never did anything bad to me; well, she did tickle me once when I was tied to a chair to get information on Sawyer. But I thought that was part of the cops and robbers game, and it wasn't a big deal."

Zach: "All right, go for it."

Walt leads the way to Juliet's house, but it is dark and empty.

Walt: "Looks like no one has been here in days."

Zach: "Where was she last?"

Walt: "She went to some station, uh, the Staff, with Jack to operate on Ben. Since Jack came back, I thought she'd come back here. Guess she didn't."

Zach: "So now what? Is there anyone else you can trust?"

Walt: "Her boyfriend Karl, but I don't know which house he lives in. And those other guys – Ethan, Tom, Goodwin, Danny, Mikhail, and that stupid forgotten sheriff Isabel; they'd all rat me out to Ben in a second. The only choice now is Bea."

Zach: "Is she the one who tied you down on that table Emma and I found you on?"

Walt: "Actually Ben tricked me into tying myself down on that rack-table thing when you found me. But Bea did tie me down the three nights before that."

Zach: "So what makes you think she'll help us now?"

Walt: "She likes me. I'll tell her to get Alex, and they'll both hear the truth, and want to come with us. Besides, she likes my father, and I bet she won't pass up the chance to see him again."

Zach: "Well, if you're sure, let's do this. Which is her house?"

Walt: "The one with a mud pit in back. She said it was a garden, but I think it was a trap to get me stuck when I jumped out a back window trying to escape. It must be real deep again with all this rain."

*** Scene with Zach getting stuck in the mud is considered and rejected due to inanity and time constraints. ***

Walt leads Zach to Bea's house, and rings the doorbell. Soon Bea opens the door, and shock is revealed on her face.

Bea: "Walt! What brings you here? Wait; let me get you some towels."

Bea goes back inside and gets two large white fluffy towels with the Dharpa logo on them, and hands them to Walt and Zach. "Oh, but you're drenched; here, dry yourselves off, then come inside."

Walt: "Thanks. Do you know Zach? Zach, this is Bea Klugh."

Bea: "Hello Zach. I know who you are. Nice to meet you."

Zach: "Hello, Ms. Klugh."

Bea: "Oh, please call me Bea like everyone else. It's been raining bunny rabbits and polar bears all day; this must be important."

Walt and Zach finish drying off, and step inside. Bea closes the door, and takes the wet towels back to the laundry room and returns.

Bea: "Zach, I don't know if Walt told you, but I'm afraid I don't have any clothes that would fit you. I hope you don't mind."

Zach: "I don't mind; I got all the clothes I need. Walt has the right idea. I never realized how much easier it is to walk through the rain when you're not wearing much."

Bea: "Good. Now can I get you something to eat? This is a surprise; I can heat up some soup quickly."

Walt: "That would be great."

Zach walks around, in a bit of amazement. "Wow, it feels so strange to be in a real house after all this time."

Bea brings soup to the dining room table. "Now sit down boys, and tell me what this is all about."

Walt: "We just found out that Alex's mother is alive on this island. She's a bit crazy; she made Emma hogtie us and took her away, thinking Emma is her daughter, and now Emma's a prisoner in her bunker. It has to be Alex's mother. She said her baby named Alex was stolen from her when she was a week old, and they have a lot of features in common."

It takes Bea several moments to consider all this. "That is quite a serious accusation. Does this crazy woman have a name?"

Walt: "Danielle … I guess we never found out her last name. She's French."

Bea: "So what would you like me to do?"

Walt: "Can you get Alex over here so I can convince her? We couldn't go to her house because Ben might be there."

Bea: "If what you're saying is true, that will have a lot of serious consequences around here. Of course Alex must hear this from you. I'll call her now, but she might not want to come over in this storm."

Walt: "Oh, it has to stop raining some time."

Four seconds later it stops raining.

Zach: "That was a nice coincidence."

Bea makes the call to the Linus residence, but Ben answers.

Ben: "Hello, Bea, what's up?"

Bea: "We've made a lot of progress in repairing the village, and I think we should start up the Book Club again. I'd just like to talk with Alex and see if we can come up with some good suggestions."

Ben: "I miss the Book Club, but that hasn't exactly been on my mind lately. I'll get Alex for you."

Alex: "Bea? You wanted to talk to me?"

Bea: "Yes. I'd like to resume the Book Club meetings. Can you come over and discuss some possibilities?"

Alex: "It's raining. Can't we do this over the phone?"

Bea: "It just stopped. And … there's also something you really should see in person. It's very important."

Alex: "All right; I have been cooped up in here all day. See you in a few minutes."

A few minutes later, Alex comes over. She amused and puzzled at the sight of Walt and Zach in matching damp boarskin loincloths.

Alex: "What are they doing here? You want to show me that Walt is starting a fashion trend?"

Bea: "No, Walt has something very important to say to you."

Walt: "Hi Alex. Zach, his sister Emma, and I ran into your mother, Danielle, back on our side of the island. Ben stole you away from her when you were a week old. But Danielle is crazy. She thinks Emma is her daughter. Danielle made her hogtie Zach and me, and took Emma away with her. It took us a long time to untie each other, but Emma left enough of a trail so we could follow it and know where they are. We need you to come with us and see her so she'll realize Emma isn't you and release her. And you should meet your mother."

Alex is dumbfounded at this revelation, and can't believe it. "You can't expect me to accept all that just like that."

Zach: "Everything Walt said is true. Danielle kind of looks like you, but older of course."

Alex: "But … my father said my mother died in childbirth."

Walt: "He lied to you."

Alex: "But how do I know you aren't lying? This could be some sort of trap."

Walt hasn't anticipated that Alex would be skeptical. "The adults wouldn't send the kids out as part of a trap."

Bea: "I don't think we can be sure of that."

Walt: "Oh come on. Isn't there a way we can convince you we're telling the truth?"

Bea: "Actually there is. We have a supply of sodium pentathol in the DeGroovy Building. That's a truth serum drug."

Alex: "But that usually causes violent reactions to the subjects and they have to be restrained."

Bea: "That won't be a problem. I'm sure that if Walt is telling the truth he'll be eager to go through with that. Won't you, Walt?"

Walt hesitates.

Bea: "Walt, what are you thinking?"

Walt: "It's just that I promised Dad not to let any strangers tie me up while I was away."

Bea looks hurt. "Do you consider me a stranger?"

Walt: "No, of course not."

Bea: "Then there should be no problem."

Walt: "Right, but … can my hands not be tied behind my back? I've had too much of that. And I really prefer not to be spread-eagled again."

Bea: "I have just the thing. You can be tied to that square post over there with plastic wrap."

Walt: "Plastic wrap? Is that all?"

Zach snickers.

Bea: "And your friend, too. The drug isn't so bad that you need to be restrained heavily. Just stand on opposite sides of that post with your arms at your sides."

Walt promptly complies, and then so does Zach, standing on a telephone book Bea provides to even up the heights some. Bea gets a roll of Dharpa brand plastic wrap and winds it around Walt's and Zach legs, from their ankles to their waists, when the roll runs out. Walt and Zach can bend their knees easily.

Zach: "This will be easy to break out of."

Walt: "Yeah, it will. But there is something to watch out for."

Bea: "I'm going to the DeGroovy Building to get more plastic wrap and the sodium pentathol. Alex, watch the door and make sure nobody comes in. If our young friends try to get away, then we'll know they are plotting some kind of a trap."

Bea leaves, and under the cover of darkness goes to the DeGroovy Building, where the items she needs are in Room 15. Walt gets a chance to talk to Zach quietly.

Walt: "When Bea is about to wrap that plastic around your upper body, take a deep breath. Expand your chest as much as you can. Then when you exhale there'll be room to move your arms around."

Zach: "That's a neat trick. Did you come up with that?"

Walt: "Actually I read it in one of the books here on Houdini. But it does work. I was able to get loose from straps once when they tied me down to an exam table."

Bea returns to her house, which is just as she left it, with two doses of sodium pentathol in the form of sugar cubes and twenty-three rolls of Dharpa clear plastic wrap,. She continues where she left off, and notices that Walt seems to be holding his breath.

Bea: "What's the matter, Walt?"

Walt realizes it will be hard to talk while holding his breath. He tries anyway. "Nothing."

Bea doesn't move, and then Walt can't hold his breath any longer. As he exhales, Bea wraps the plastic tight across his chest and the sides of the post, and then waits for Zach to do the same thing. She then finishes the roll by wrapping it several more times around the boys' upper bodies.

Zach gets apprehensive as Bea takes another roll of wrap. This time she starts just below their necks and winds her way down, but on this occasion she makes sure to wrap the plastic around the boys' legs tightly. Walt is somewhat annoyed that Bea saw through his ruse, but still figures someone as strong as he is will have no problem breaking loose from the plastic wrap.

Bea: "Alex, can you help, it will go faster."

Alex: "I'd be delighted too."

Bea and Alex pass more rolls back and forth while wrapping up the boys in many layers of thin, clear, and industrial strength plastic wrap.

Bea: "I think they are sufficiently restrained."

Walt and Zach try to move, and fail. Zach is worried that he may have made a mistake.

Zach: "Hey, I've done been shrink-wrapped! I can't move!"

Walt: "Me neither, except I can bang the back of my head on the post."

Bea: "We can't have that."

Bea places pillows behind Walt's and Zach's heads, and then wraps their foreheads together against the post with the last roll of plastic wrap.

Bea offers what looks like a sugar cube to Walt.

Bea: "Ready?"

Walt: "Yes."

Bea holds the cube to Walt's mouth and he eats it.

Bea: "Your turn, Zach."

Zach: "I don't know about this."

Bea: "Walt had no problem. And besides, it tastes like candy."

Zach: "Oh boy, candy, let me have it!"

Bea holds the other cube to Zach's mouth and he eats it. A few seconds later, he and Walt squirm mightily, but remain securely in place. A minute later, they settle down with no ill effects, but are in a trance-like state.

Bea: "Now boys, was everything you told us earlier tonight the truth?"

Walt and Zach: "Yes."

Bea: "I believe you. Alex, are you convinced?"

Alex: "I'm convinced that they believe they've been telling the truth. We do have to check it out, but it still could be some kind of trap."

Bea: "We will take precautions. Now there's something else I have to ask Walt. Walt, what does your father think of me?"

Walt: "He asked Juliet about you when she came to our camp. He said you were interesting … fascinating … and wished that you had met under better circumstances. He sounded like he hoped to see you again."

Bea: "That settles it. I'm going with you. Alex, go tell Karl everything; I know he'll want to come. Then go back to your house, wait till your father is asleep, and then sneak out with whatever things you need. Also, we need a book to tell him that we selected."

Alex: "How about Lewis Carroll's 'Through the Looking Glass'? That seems like an appropriate theme for today."

Bea: "Fine, as long as we get our story straight. See you later."

Alex leaves, goes to Karl's house, and tells him all that transpired.

Alex: "Can you believe that?"

Karl: "I can believe Ben is a good-for-nothing liar quite easily. I'll be happy to come. See you later."

Karl collects some clothes and food, and prepares for the long trip. Alex goes back to her house.

Ben: "Hi honey, did you decide on a good book?"

Alex: "Yes: 'Through the Looking Glass.' We hope to read it tomorrow."

Ben: "It will be nice to get the Book Club restarted."

Alex: "Yes it will. I think I'll turn in now. Good night."

Ben: "Good night, honey."

Alex is pleased that she can lie as well as her father. Except it isn't really her father. In any case, she goes quietly to her room and assembles items she will need for the trip.

* * *

Jack appears to be uncomfortable during the afternoon while he is awake, but after dinner, he is in obvious pain.

Hurley: "Dude, you should see a doctor."

Kate: "Jack, you have to tell me what is wrong with you."

Jack: "Just a temporary pain in my side … ooohhhh." Jack clutches his side.

Juliet: "That's where his appendix is located! We have to operate quickly before it bursts."

Jack admits: "Yes, I believe I have a touch of appendicitis."

Juliet: "We should get a surgeon. I'll run and get Ethan over here."

Jack: "No! I don't trust him with a knife in my body!"

Juliet: "Well, I suppose I can try to operate, and Sun can assist. The best medical equipment we have is in the Staff."

Jack: "You won't have to operate. You can assist, though. Get all the necessary equipment and bring it here."

Juliet: "But … who will perform the operation?"

Jack: "There is only one person I trust to remove my appendix: me!"

Kate: "Surely you can't be … no stop that, no 'Shirley' jokes."

Jack: "This is not a joke. I shall perform the operation myself."


	64. Physician, Heal Thyself

As the storm lets up in the early evening, a bit earlier than on the island since they are off to the west, Claire and Charlie sail Desmond's sailboat back to the beach.

Charlie: "No one seems to be here."

Claire: "They're probably at the hatch because of the storm. Let's go; I can't wait to see Aaron."

They get flashlights and go to the Swan.

Claire: "Hello everybody, we're back. What's new?"

Kate: "Hi Claire. Aaron is right over here, sleeping peacefully. He's been a perfect angel."

Claire picks up Aaron and hugs him, and then puts him back in his cradle.

Kate: "And as for news, we think Jack has appendicitis."

Claire: "Oh dear! Who will perform the surgery?"

Jack: "I will."

Claire: "You're … going to remove your own appendix?"

Hurley: "That actually sounds familiar, where did I see that? I got it … it was on a poster about crazy final exams. The final exam for medicine was to remove your appendix."

Shannon: "I've seen that. You get a razor blade and a piece of gauze, and aren't supposed to suture until your work has been inspected."

Desmond: "Aye. You also get a bottle of Scotch."

Sun: "I know what you're talking about. I saw that in college. The final exam for biology was to create life."

Charlie: "Right-o. There's one for music: write a concerto and orchestrate it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat."

Claire: "Yes, now I remember seeing that. For public speaking, a thousand riot-crazed Aborigines are storming the room. Calm them using any ancient language other than Latin or Greek."

Sayid: "For engineering, you are given a disassembled rifle with instructions in Swahili, and a hungry Bengal Tiger will enter the room in ten minutes."

Michael: "There's one for art. Use a box of eight crayons and three sheets of paper to recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel."

Boone: "I've seen that. For political science you are supposed to start World War III, and report on its socio-political effects, if any."

Bernard: "For philosophy you're supposed to sketch the development of human thought and compare it to any other kind of thought."

Rose: "The one for religion is to perform a miracle."

Eko: "While the one for history is to briefly and concisely describe the history of the papacy, concentration on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on every continent."

Jin: "In management science you define management, science, how they relate, and write an algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions."

Libby: "I like the one for general knowledge: describe in detail."

Sawyer: "In economics you have to develop a plan to refinance the national debt, and then criticize it from all points of view."

Naomi: "For chemistry you have to identify a potion after you are injected with it, and figure out which beaker provided has the antidote."

Cindy: "In physics you have to explain the nature of matter and include an evaluation of the impact of math in physics."

Juliet: "For electrical engineering you get placed inside a nuclear reactor with a partial copy of the electrical layout and have to fix the tampered-with electrical system before the reactor melts down."

Ana-Lucia: "And for civil engineering you have to build a bridge out of a box of toothpicks and a bottle glue that will support your weight when suspended over a vat of nitric acid."

Kate "In computer science you're supposed to write a fifth-generation language and write a program to answer all the other questions."

Locke: "There's a good one in sociology: estimate the sociological effects that might accompany the end of the world, and construct an experiment to test your theory."

Hurley: "And the extra credit was to define the universe and give three examples."

Jack: "I think we got off the subject. What were we talking about before?"

Juliet: "You said you were going to remove your own appendix."

Jack: "Oh, right."

Juliet: "And that we should get the necessary equipment for the Staff immediately. I don't think you're up to a long trip right now."

Jack: "I guess you're right. I should rest up for the surgery."

Kate: "Do you mean rest up as the patient or as the operating surgeon?"

Shannon: "I'm sure he means both, but good observation."

Juliet: "Whatever. Now I'm the only one who knows where the Staff is, and I'll need someone volunteers to help carry stuff back."

Boone: "Pick me. I haven't done anything heroic in a while."

Shannon: "I don't think Juliet meant she was picking a team."

Boone: "Well, I volunteered first, so I'm going."

Cindy: "I've been out of the action for too long. I want to come."

Boone wonders if there is still a spark between Cindy and him, and is glad she volunteered.

Juliet: "I think we could use one more."

Eko: "I'd like to see another part of the island. Count me in."

Sawyer: "Shouldn't you stick around in case you have to administer last rites, Preacherman?"

Jack: "I'm not dying! But I am touched about your concern for me."

Sawyer: "That wasn't intended as concern."

Juliet: "We don't have time to waste. Let's get going."

Sawyer: "Bon voyage."

Jin: "Remember we already exhausted the budget for subtitles a long time ago. If you speak in a foreign language the audience will have to figure out for themselves what you mean."

Juliet, Boone, Cindy, and Eko get flashlights and supplies, and leave for the trip in the moonlight to the Staff.

* * *

Back at Bea's house, Walt and Zach remain wrapped very tightly from their ankles to their shoulders to the square post by plastic wrap. They are still in a trance-like state under the influence of the sodium pentathol. Bea decides to take precautions since Alex still has concerns this may be a trap.

Bea: "Zach, how are you feeling?"

Zach: "Not too bad, but not being able to move is embarrassing. Can you unwrap us now?"

Bea: "Not yet, you are still under the influence of the drug and could become violent. Hang on a minute; I have to get something."

Zach: "I'm not going anywhere."

Bea goes to a drawer in another room and takes out her heptagonal medallion that she used to hypnotize Walt weeks before. She returns and swings it in front of Zach.

Bea: "Zach, you are getting sleepy."

Already under the influence of the sodium pentathol, Zach is mesmerized quickly.

Bea: "Now Zach, you like Walt, but it bugs you that he is a better escape artist from you. From now on, you will do all you can to prove you are better than he. You will welcome every chance to prove this, and trying to escape will be so much fun that you will never give up before, let's say, 108 minutes. The tougher the challenge the more fun it will be. Do you understand?"

Zach: "I understand."

Bea turns her attention to Walt, and quickly hypnotizes him with the medallion as well. "Walt, did you hear that? Zach thinks he is a better escape artist than you."

Walt: "He is not."

Bea: "He may have gotten better. Now you must take on any challenge he does. And if neither of you can escape, giving up before he does will be an insult to your manhood. You must not allow that to happen. Do you understand?"

Walt: "I understand."

At that point Karl comes back with all the stuff he needs in a large backpack, and is a little surprised to see the boys still secured back-to-back to the post.

Karl: "I'm ready. What's going on?"

Bea: "Just some precautions in case there is a trap involved. Be quiet."

Bea addresses the captives. "Zach and Walt, when I snap my fingers you will wake up. You will no longer be under the influence of the sodium pentathol, and you will not remember being hypnotized. You will remember being asked questions about Danielle, and believe that the effects of the drug are just wearing off."

Bea snaps her fingers, and Walt and Zach wake up, slightly disoriented.

Zach: "What happened?"

Bea: "You just finished answering all our questions about Danielle, and Alex will be here in a little while to go visit her with us. The effects of the sodium pentathol are over, so I can let you go now."

Bea unwraps the plastic wrap from around the boys' foreheads, and removes the pillows from behind their heads. She searches for the end of the last roll, when Zach speaks up.

Zach: "Please don't unwrap me. Since we have to wait for Alex, I want to break out of this myself."

Walt: "You can't. If we couldn't get loose when we were trying to thrash violently under the influence of that drug, there's no way we can do that now. There has to be some outside force to help us."

Zach: "Go ahead and be a wuss if you can't take it. I'm breaking out."

Walt is offended. "I am not a wuss and can certainly take anything you can! I will never give up before you!"

Zach: "We'll see about that!"

Both boys make completely ineffectual gestures, trying to poke the plastic wrap with their elbows and knees, and expanding their chests as if they could rip through the many layers of plastic that way. Despite their best efforts, their shoulder blades, butts, and backs of their legs remain firmly pinned to the post.

Bea: "Boys, Alex might not be her for a couple hours. Are you sure …"

Zach and Walt: "I don't care!"

The boys tire themselves out after fifteen minutes, and need to hold still to recover, which proves to be exceptionally easy. Bea remembers something, and gets her camera.

Bea: "I almost forgot to take more pictures while I have the chance. Walt I think one of you smiling and another frowning would be good. Wow, that wrap is so clear it's hard to tell there's anything holding you in place.

Walt frowns, and Bea takes the picture.

Bea: "Now could you smile?"

Walt sticks out his tongue, one of the few gestures he can make. Bea takes the picture anyway.

Bea: "That face actually looks very good on you."

Walt can't help break into a grin, and Bea quickly gets the picture of Walt smiling.

Bea: "Thank you. Now Zach, it's your turn. Are you having a good time?"

Zach: "Yes." Zach smiles for the picture.

Bea: "Now about one of you looking tough and frowning?"

Zach: "Fine." Zach frowns and scowls, and Bea gets another good picture.

Bea: "Thank you boys; you're doing great."

Bea steps away, and the boys remain fixed in place, with neither willing to be the first to give up. Karl takes a nap.

* * *

The rain lets up, but it is too late to travel, so Charlotte, Daniel, Frank, and Miles settle in for another night in their tent.

* * *

After staying inside the bunker all day, Danielle and Emma eat some of the food Danielle has saved.

Danielle: "It's time for bed. Do you think you might sleepwalk again?"

Emma: "No, I won't. I'm adjusted to this place now."

Danielle: "All right, I'll give you this chance."

Emma goes to bed, relieved not to be handcuffed to it. Danielle sets up cans next to the door again, in case Emma makes another break for it. Emma realizes the same thing will happen if she does try to leave, and stays put in an effort to gain Danielle's trust, to be exploited at a more opportune time.

* * *

Around midnight Juliet, Boone, Cindy, and Eko reach the Staff. They gather up many medical supplies at Juliet's instructions.

Boone: "Is this it? I was picturing something more heroic. Anybody could have done this."

Juliet: "Yes, but somebody had to. We appreciate the effort."

Eko: "The trip was worth it. It's amazing how much there is to this island."

Cindy: "It beats hanging around doing nothing. Cheer up, Boone."

Boone: "Thank you, I am feeling cheerier."

Juliet: "All right, we have all we need. Let's get back."

They make the return trip.

* * *

Around midnight Alex shows up at Bea's house with a large backpack of necessities. She is amused at the sight of Walt and Zach still wrapped up.

Alex: "Oh good, you kept them wrapped up in case this is part of a trap, even though the effects of that drug must have worn off a long time ago."

Bea: "I did get them under control. But they are so darned adorable trying to break loose."

They go inside, and wake up Karl.

Bea announces, "I'm declaring this a draw." She cuts the plastic wrap down the side with a scissors, and then peels the pieces off Walt and Zach.

Walt: "I can't believe I couldn't break through that stuff. It must weigh only about a gram."

Bea: "The Dharpa people have produced some technically amazing things. Now it's time to go."

Alex: "Okay. But what if someone sees us? It will look suspicious if we're seen following the boys."

Zach: "You could tie our hands and if someone sees us, you can say you captured us and are taken us somewhere."

Bea: "That's a very good idea. What do you think, Walt?"

Walt: "Having our hands tied until we're safely out of the village sounds reasonable."

Bea takes some rope and ties Walt's and Zach's hands behind their backs, and the group goes out into the night. Fortunately they are not seen leaving Othersville.

Walt: "I think we're far enough away that you can untie us."

Zach: "You can untie Walt. I'm getting out of this myself."

Walt is offended. "I can get out of this before you!"

Bea: "Fine, but we have to keep moving until we find a good spot to sleep the rest of the night."

They keep going until they find a good spot. Bea unties Walt's hands so he can have a little to eat and drink, and then Zach's. Alex and Karl set up the tent.

Zach: "I win, she untied you first."

Walt: "Neither of us won that."

Bea: "I think you're about to get another chance."

Alex: "In case this is a trap, we can't let those two run loose."

Bea: "Of course, but we have to let them sleep."

Walt: "So what are you going to do?"

Bea: "Hold your hands out, please."

Walt does so, and Bea ties his hands together with rope, in front of him this time. She does the same for Zach, and then ties each boy's feet together.

Bea: "Now lie down, with your feet towards each other.

They do, and Bea gets three extra tent stakes. "Alex and Karl, can you please drive these into the ground?"

Alex and Karl do as requested, and then Bea ties Walt and Zach end to end to the stakes. Alex and Karl then pound the stakes all the way in, leaving Walt and Zach stretched in a line. They struggle a little, but can't budge the stakes.

Bea: "How is that?"

Zach: "Okay."

Walt: "I've been through worse."

Bea: "Good. Good night, boys."

Bea and Karl get into sleeping bags, but Alex has forgotten hers.

Alex: "Karl, could you be a dear and let me share your sleeping bag tonight?"

Karl: "Um, it'll be a tight fit, but okay."

Alex and Karl get in, and Bea sighs and rolls over on her side turning her back to them.

* * *

Juliet, Boone, Cindy, and Eko return to the Swan Station near dawn with the medical supplies.

Juliet: "We're back! Let's get started."

Sun: "Aren't you tired?"

Juliet: "Yes, but if Jack's performing the surgery that isn't important."

Jack: "All right. Now I need some of you to hold some mirrors in the position I tell you to."

Boone: "Shannon has lots of mirrors."

Shannon: "So do you back home."

Jack: "Enough. Now hold the mirrors there and there. Now where's the anesthetic?"

Sawyer: "I can get a hammer and hit you on the head. That might knock some sense into you."

Jack: "Local anesthetic will be sufficient."

Juliet: "Here it is."

Charlie: "Don't you need a syringe to apply it?"

Juliet: "I got one here."

Jack: "And some alcohol to clean the area around the incision."

Desmond: "You really want a bottle of Scotch?"

Jack: "No, Juliet should have the right kind."

Juliet: "Right here, Doctor."

Jack rubs an area of his side with the alcohol, and then injects himself with the anesthetic several times. "Okay, now hand me the scalpel. There's going to be some blood, and that needs to be wiped away so I can see what I'm doing."

Hurley: "Blood? I think I'd better leave."

Michael: "This could be a good time for you to volunteer for button-pushing duty."

Libby: "I'll keep you company, Hurley."

Hurley and Libby depart the operating area.

Kate: "I can wipe the blood away."

Jack: "Thanks. So, it looks like Shannon and Boone will hold the mirrors, Kate can keep the incision area clean. Sun, can you use these spreaders to keep the incision open while I operate?"

Sun: "Yes." Sun takes up the tool and makes sure she can operate it.

Jack: "Good. And Juliet, hand me the instruments as I ask for them."

Sawyer: "Say Doctor Do-It-Yourself, doesn't the patient need to be hold still?"

Jack: "Usually, but I need the use of my hands. I suppose you could hold my legs down if you want to be helpful."

Sawyer: "I didn't say I wanted to be a part of this insane operation."

Sayid: "Fine, I'll do it. Or maybe one leg, the patient's reactions could be unpredictable, and two might be better for this job."

Michael: "I'll get the other leg then."

Jack: "Wonderful. Now Juliet, hand me the scalpel."

Juliet gives Jack the scalpel, and he makes the incision. He grimaces.

Claire: "Isn't this scene a bit too gory?"

Ana-Lucia: "I think you're right. This looks like a good time to turn a lengthy medical procedure into a conveniently short one."

Claire: "Like when I had Aaron?"

Ana-Lucia: "I wasn't there, but probably."

Rose: "I was there, and yes, that went unrealistically quickly, but no one complained."

Jack: "Fine, we'll get this over with. Scissors!"

Juliet gives Jack a pair of surgical scissors, and he snips off his appendix and puts it in a jar. Then he cleans the area around the incision and sutures it shut.

Jack: "OW!"

Kate: "Are you all right?"

Jack: "Of course. I was just holding the pain in for a little while."

Shannon: "Would this be a good time to remove those tattoos you don't like?"

Boone: "There's another dropped plot line. Good catch."

Jack: "That will be awkward for me to do. Juliet, can you inject the area with more anesthetic, and then … is there an electric sander here?"

Desmond: "Sure, we got all sorts of tools that magically appear when needed."

Locke: "The island is deciding to provide for you, Jack."

Juliet: "Let's get this over with, too."

Juliet injects Jack with more anesthetic into his shoulders and upper arms where the ugly tattoos are. Desmond plugs in the sander and sands the tattoos off. Juliet bandages the areas.

Shannon: "I thought it would be more complicated than that."

Locke: "In the real world it would be, but on this island Jack will heal quickly."


	65. Mother of the Year Knows Best

As dawn breaks over the island, the freighter crew wakes up. They eat from their remaining rations and contact Naomi.

Charlotte: "Naomi? Can you talk?"

Naomi: "Yes. What is your status?"

Charlotte: "We're all right, just running low on food. Frank is improving, but not a hundred percent."

Frank: "Don't worry about me. I can get around on a crutch."

Daniel: "What's the situation there?"

Naomi: "Jack just removed his own appendix successfully. I'm sure he'll able to fix up Frank."

Miles: "Did you find a map of the island?"

Naomi: "No, I didn't get a chance with the excitement over the operation. I'll work on it. Now I've figured out a story to explain your presence. You fixed the helicopter and were going to come here as a surprise, but you crashed in the storm a bit off course."

Daniel: "Understood. We'll see you in a day or two."

The freighter crew packs up and heads toward the Swan station.

Naomi figures the one most likely to know about a map is Desmond. She finds him among the people milling around the hatch.

Naomi: "Desmond, is there a map of this island?"

Desmond: "Aye, but it's located on a blast wall that only comes down when there's a parachute supply drop, and there won't be another for about five months. Why do you need it?"

Naomi decides that everyone will find out about the freighter crew soon enough, so she tells part of the truth. "My team flew here yesterday, but crashed in the storm. They're on their way over, and we'd like to know if there are any obstacles between them and us."

Desmond: "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

Naomi: "We thought it would make a nice surprise."

Desmond: "Surprises can be fun."

Naomi: "Do you think there's a way of making that blast door come down?"

Desmond: "I never tried, but there are some clever people here. You'd better ask them."

Naomi assumes a central position. "I have an announcement to make. My team flew to this island yesterday after they fixed their helicopter. We were going to surprise you, but they got caught in the storm and crashed way east of here. It would be a big help if we could see a map, and I understand there's one on a blast door. Can you help us?"

Desmond: "I told her that the door comes down only during those parachute drops, and there won't be another for five months."

Jack: "You mean rescue was coming and you didn't notify me?"

Kate: "Are you familiar with the concept of 'surprise'?"

Sayid: "That will be a challenge. I can take a look at the wiring in the ceiling above us."

Shannon: "We have to make sure that if that thing comes down, no one will be sealed in."

Hurley: "Right. We wouldn't want anyone to starve to death."

Michael: "We can stack weight plates on the floor where that door will come down."

Sayid: "Good idea. Michael, when you were in construction did you ever put in a blast door in a building?"

Michael: "I'm afraid not. The houses and office buildings I worked on didn't have much of a need for those. The closest I've come to that would be elevators."

Sayid: "That's better than nothing. Come up and let's see what we can figure out. And some of you others get the weights in place before we start."

Jack starts to move, but Sawyer brushes him aside. "You're recovering from surgery, Doc, this is my kind of job."

Eko: "I am also well suited to this task."

Jin, Boone, Charlie, and Ana-Lucia also scramble off toward the gym to show off their physical prowess. Desmond takes Sayid and Michael to the location of a vent near the blast door.

Desmond: "You can crawl up through there and see what you can find. You'll need this flashlight."

Desmond hands Sayid a flashlight and he and Michael climb up.

Sayid: "I'll need more tools. Can you get a toolbox and hand me what I need?"

Desmond: "Sure."

Desmond gets a toolbox from a workroom, while others are bringing the weights into place. Sawyer and Eko stack the weights neatly in position.

Locke: "Those should be closer to the center. One stack one quarter of the way in from each side."

Sawyer glares at Locke, and then notices Juliet.

Juliet: "I think John is right."

Any hint of resentment in Sawyer's face vanishes, and he pushes his pile in the direction Locke indicated. Eko does likewise without the histrionics.

Sawyer looks at Juliet. "That can't make that much of a difference. I bet you just wanted to see my muscles some more."

Juliet: "Can you blame me?"

Sawyer: "Come to think of it, no."

Juliet: "Do you like looking at me?"

Sawyer: "If I had doctors that looked like you all my life, I'd have gotten sick a lot more often."

Juliet: "Why thank you, that's so touching."

* * *

As morning comes to another part of the island, Danielle and Emma wake up. Emma is happy she wakes up without any handcuffs or chains, and Danielle is pleased that Emma didn't try to escape the previous night. Emma puts on the boarskin vest so as to get into Danielle's good graces.

Danielle: "How did you sleep last night, Alex dear?"

Emma: "Much better. I told you I wouldn't sleepwalk after I got used to this place … Mom."

The hesitation is enough for Danielle to think that Emma still doesn't believe Danielle is her real mother.

Emma: "So what are we going to do today?"

Danielle: "I'm going to show you how to shoot a bow and arrow. Unlike rifle bullets, arrows that aren't too badly damaged can be reused, so this is a very worthwhile thing to learn."

Emma: "That sounds cool. That's a great mother-daughter activity."

They eat some of the food Danielle has stored and go outside. Danielle demonstrates by firing an arrow into a knot on a tree.

Danielle: "Now it's your turn."

Danielle gives Emma the bow and some arrows, but stays close enough so that Emma can't turn around quickly and aim the bow at her. Emma takes several shots, but they all go wild. They retrieve all the arrows except the one Danielle shot into the tree.

Danielle: "Is something wrong? I thought you would do better than that."

Emma: "It's too hot."

Danielle: "It isn't exceptionally hot. Those Others must have done something to you like get you used to different temperatures."

Emma: "Whatever. Please let me try it this way."

Emma takes off the boarskin vest, and drops it on the ground. Looking like an Amazon warrior, she takes aim, and fires a bow into the tree, fifteen centimeters below and eight centimeters to the right of Danielle's arrow.

Emma: "See? I'm getting the hang of this." _John said something about visualizing in my mind's eye._

Emma shoots again, overcompensating, but the shot is an improvement, sticking in the tree eight centimeters above and four centimeters to the left of Danielle's arrow. Emma's third shot is four centimeters low, but her fourth shot splits Danielle's arrow in two.

Emma: "Oopsie. I'm sorry about your arrow."

Danielle: "That's all right, Alex. That was very impressive."

Emma: "Thank you. And thanks for teaching me."

* * *

Having stayed up so late, the party heading toward Danielle's bunker sleeps late. In mid-morning Zach is waken by the sun's powerful rays beaming down on his face and torso. He tries to get up, and finds his hands tied together over his head, and his feet tied together as well. A tingle goes down his stretched spine. Zach blinks, and it takes several moments for him to remember where he is. He raises his head, and at a low angle sees Walt tied to the ground in the same manner.

Zach: "Walt! You awake?"

Walt yawns: "No."

Zach: "Too bad. This feels so awesome!"

Walt: "What?"

Zach: "Waking up tied up. I never felt anything like this. And I bet I grew an inch last night."

Walt: "It can get old. It's neat if you have a chance of escaping, but if you don't, it can get boring and annoying. I tried very hard to see if I could get loose last night, and I couldn't, and nothing's changed."

Zach: "Ha! Quit if you want to; I'm breaking out."

The noise wakes Bea, and she steps outside the tent.

Bea: "Good morning boys. How are we this morning?"

Zach: "Great!"

Walt: "Fine. So are you going to cut us loose or untie us so we can get to Emma and Danielle?"

Bea: "I need to take some pictures first. You are such handsome young men."

Bea gets her camera. "Now smile."

Zach grins broadly, and Bea snaps his picture. Walt figures it's best to get this over with, so he smiles for Bea, though not as sincerely.

Bea: "Now we'll see if Alex and Karl are ready." Bea goes back inside the tent. "Alex? Karl? Are you ready to go?"

They shift a little in Karl's sleeping bag.

Alex: "We seem to be stuck. Can you give us some more time?"

Karl: "No objections."

Bea: "How about we give you an hour? I'll watch the boys."

Alex and Karl: "Fine!"

Bea goes back outside. "Walt and Zach, Alex and Karl are stuck in a sleeping bag, so it will be a while. What do you want to do?"

Walt: "Are you going to cut us loose? We can find something to eat."

Zach: "You can cut the sissy loose. I'm breaking loose by myself."

Walt is getting angry: "I'm not a sissy! And you can't break loose faster than me."

Walt takes a deep breath, making sure of his situation. His spine is stretched, but not painfully so. He pulls hard, but can't bend his elbows or knees at all. He can, however, rotate from side to side a little, getting one shoulder off the ground, and then the other. He squirms mightily, and is just aware of Zach doing the same thing. Bea watches with amusement as the cloud covers increases suddenly, and then realizes something.

Bea: "These are circumstances that are similar to when you changed the numbers, aren't they Walt?"

Walt loses his concentration and yells, "Why? Are you going to tickle my stomach or paint on me again?"

Bea: "We can't repeat things, but …"

Bea tickles Walt's feet, and then Zach's feet. The wriggling and writhing resumes, until a black bird swoops down, croaks out "Hurley," and poops onto Walt's belly button.

Walt: "Gross!"

Zach: "Ha ha ha!"

Soon the sky is filled with similar birds. Bea scurries for cover in the tent while the birds poop all over Walt and Zach.

Zach: "Ugh! Walt, stop this!"

Walt: "I … can't!"

The sky turns dark and a tremendous cloudburst follows. Alex and Karl are concerned, and wriggle out of the sleeping bag.

Alex: "What's going on?"

Bea: "Sudden rainstorm. We better stay in here."

Karl: "Are those boys still tied down to the ground outside?"

Bea: "Yes."

Karl: "Shouldn't we release them?"

Alex: "We can't risk their running away."

Bea: "Don't worry, they're used to it. They walked through a huge storm to reach our village, and Walt said he was once stuck buried deep in the sand all day when it rained. Besides, this will wash the bird poop off them."

Karl: "Okay."

* * *

The sudden storm causes Charlotte, Daniel, Frank, and Miles to stop their hike, set up their tent, and wait the storm out.

* * *

In another part of the island, Danielle sees the dark clouds develop quickly.

Danielle: "Hurry, Alex, we should get back home. Storms have a way of developing quickly here. We can practice some more after it's over."

Danielle and Emma pick up all the arrows, and Emma puts her vest back on. They scurry home safely, only getting a little wet.

* * *

The storm continues for an hour, and then Walt notices the stakes to which he is bound are coming loose in the mud. He renews his efforts to pull himself free. Zach notices the stake his feet are attached to moving, cranes his neck, sees what Walt is up to, and does the same. The race is on. After eight more minutes Walt pulls the stake his hands are tied to out of the ground. When he sits up to untie his feet with his hands still tied together, his butt sinks forty-two centimeters into the mud. Zach now succeeds in pulling the stake over his head loose, and the same thing happens to him when he sits up to untie his feet. Walt unties his feet first.

Walt: "Ha! I win!"

Zach: "Not yet. You have to untie your hands and stand up."

Walt tries to untie his hands using his teeth, but it doesn't work well. He tries to stand up, figuring he can find something sharp to cut his hands loose, but his feet sink into the ground as far as his butt did. Now Zach succeeds in untying his feet. He has the same difficulty Walt has when it comes to untying his hands. Both boys rock back and forth trying to stand up. Zach seems to be catching up, since he didn't sink in as far due to his lesser weight. Alarmed that he might lose, Walt makes a great effort to get his legs under him and stand up. He is partially successful. He does straighten his legs, but instead of pushing himself up, his legs go straight down, leaving him standing in mud a little past his waist. Before Zach can change his plans, half a second later the same thing happens to him. They struggle some more and sink a few centimeters deeper before deciding it's hopeless. They are left standing facing each other twenty-three decimeters apart belly-deep in the mud with their hands tied in the pouring rain, with the stake their feet had been tied to between them.

Zach: "What just happened?"

Walt: "There's this theory about course correction. You may have been supposed to get stuck deep in the mud behind Bea's house a couple nights ago but there wasn't time in that episode. Now there's time for some filler, so here you are. Though you managed to drag me down with you."

Zach: "Maybe that was your destiny."

Walt: "But I was already stuck in the mud when I tried to escape from Bea's house. I thought we were supposed to avoid repeating things."

Zach: "Is anything different?"

Walt: "Well, my hands weren't tied, and it wasn't raining, and it was night."

Zach: "Maybe that's different enough. How'd you get out?"

Walt: "I couldn't. I was stuck there all night. I couldn't get any leverage; there was nothing to push off against or pull on. I tried scooping mud away, but it filled right back in. At least I wasn't wearing or carrying anything heavy, like now, so I couldn't sink further. Eventually they threw me a rope, and made me pull myself out, and that was hard."

Zach gets an idea. He scoops a double handful of mud and suddenly flings weakly it at Walt, hitting him in the shoulder.

Walt is stunned. "What did you do that for?"

Zach: "You said we should do different things, and if you were alone, you didn't throw mud at anyone. And the rain will just wash it off anyway."

Walt: "Why you …" Walt retaliates by scooping mud, raising both hands over his head, and throwing it at Zach with much more force, striking Zach in the chest.

Zach gasps. "Wow, that was a good throw. How did you do that?"

Walt: "I have a lot more experience in doing things while tied up than you do. Now eat mud!"

The mud fight continues for an hour, with Zach getting better at coordinating his movements, when the clouds suddenly speed away, replaced by a scorching hot sun.

* * *

Back in Othersville, all the repairs have been made. Ben and his most trusted confidants are in the DeGroovy building.

Ben: "That was quite a sudden storm but I think all the equipment is ready. Let's see if the computer running the Vermicelli Equation program is back up."

Ben turns it on, and the computer comes to life. He looks at the display, and frowns. "This isn't right. It says the fifth number is currently twenty-three, but it should be twenty-four."

Mikhail presses some buttons. "Ben, I think this computer is working fine. I think the fifth number has been changed."

Ethan: "You mean maybe Walt has been stressed again? Could that storm be related?"

Goodwin: "It makes perfect sense. A storm came out of nowhere when Walt got mad when we were questioning him by the Arrow after he had been hanging handcuffed upside-down for hours. We then found out that the third number got changed at that time."

Ben: "What you all are saying is plausible, but I thought his people wouldn't be stressing Walt out so soon after all he's been through. But there's no denying; Doomsday has been postponed another thirty years, from 2056 to 2086. That is great news. I'll talk with Bea and see if she knows anything about this."

Ben dials Bea's number, but there is no answer.

Ben: "I wonder where she could be."

Tom: "Maybe she's starting that Book Club up again."

Ben: "Perhaps, but … Alex got up very early this morning and I didn't see her today. We're all here, so maybe they went to that Karl's house."

Ben dials Karl's house number, and again there is no answer.

Ben: "Something's not right here. I want you to search every house and find Bea, Alex, and Karl. I'll wait here in case Juliet calls in with a report."

Mikhail, Ethan, Goodwin, Tom, and Danny go on a house-to-house search, but no one knows where Bea, Alex, and Karl are.

* * *

The tent keeps the ground under Bea, Alex, and Karl firm enough. After the sun has been out an hour they can stop outside.

Bea: "Are you ready to go now?"

Walt: "Yes, but we're kind of stuck."

Bea: "So what should we do about that?"

Walt: "You're going to take a picture?"

Bea: "Thank you for reminding me. We should be tracking your development on a regular basis."

Bea gets her camera, and Walt flexes as best he can with his hands tied over his head. He is in a good mood after the mud fight and smiles willingly. Then Bea gets a similar picture of Zach.

Bea: "We've lost a lot of time, so we're going to pull you out now." Bea, Karl, and Alex collaborate to pull the boys out of the muck, but leave their hands tied. "A little something to eat, and we're off."

After the quick meal Walt and Zach resume leading the way to Danielle's bunker.

* * *

After a lot of tinkering with wires and knobs, Sayid makes an announcement.

Sayid: "I think I have it. Stand back."

Locke, Desmond, and Naomi position themselves on the side of the blast door the map is on. The others are more cautious, and stand on the side where they can't get trapped. Sayid connects two wires, and the blast door creaks down slowly, coming to rest on the stacks of weights as planned.

Sayid: "How did it work?"

Naomi: "Perfectly. There's a great map showing. I'm going to write it down."

Locke: "It's beautiful." Locke makes mental notes of the locations of all the interesting things.

Desmond: "That's what I've seen a few times. Never had the chance to find out what most of those buildings are."

There is some commotion on the other side of the blast door.

Claire: "There's a figure here, and a phrase: 'Kilroy was here'."

Hurley: "Who's Kilroy?"

Bernard: "That's before your time. That was sort of a joke among American troops during World War II. They'd draw a round head with the nose sticking over a wall to let their comrades know they had passed by. It was good for morale, and the other Allies had similar drawings and phrases."

Sawyer: "How fortunate we have such a knowledgeable elder statesman."

Rose: "I think that drawing is cute."

Claire: "I think so, too."

Boone: "There must be some significance."

Ana-Lucia: "Not always on this island."

Boone: "But it could mean this was a military base during that war."

Cindy: "Or a base any time after that."

Libby: "That little fellow looks like it could be an alien drawing."

Jin: "Aliens! That reminds me, shouldn't those medicinal plants be ready soon?"

Sun: "Yes, they should be good tomorrow."

Michael, who is still above the ceiling with Sayid: "Great! It'll be good to see Walt and his friends after all this time, a week right? Though I'm sure they're having a great time by themselves."

Sayid: "Are you done with the map? I'm ready to take the wall up now."

Naomi: "I got everything I need."

Locke: "I'm good."

Desmond: "Take 'er away!"

Sayid connects two other wires. There is a mechanical groan, a spark, and then nothing.

Sayid: "Darn."

Shannon: "What happened?"

Sayid: "It appears that we don't have enough force to bring that door back up."

Desmond: "What about the buttons?"

Sayid: "I guess we'll just have to crawl under the door to get back and forth from the computer room."

Boone: "That could be a new form of exercise."

Sayid: "In any case, I'll have something to work on for a while."

* * *

On the way to Danielle's bunker, Karl steps on a tube on something that squirts black fluid.

Karl: "Yuck! What was that?"

Walt: "That's Richard's eyeliner."

Alex: "Richard! I haven't seen him in ages. But he's been around forever. He should know the truth about my mother."

Karl: "Do you know how to find him?"

Walt: "No. He just appeared randomly when we found a lot of his stuff."

Zach: "I got an idea. "ANYBODY LOSE SOME EYELINER STUFF?"

Everyone is quiet, and a few seconds later, Richard appears.

Richard: "Did somebody say eyeliner … Alex? And hello Bea, Karl, what are you doing way out here?"

Alex runs to Richard. "Is it true that Ben kidnapped me as a baby from my real mother who is out here somewhere?"

Richard knows Bea can tell if he's lying. "Yes, Alex."

Alex becomes livid. "You mean my whole life has been a lie? Ben told me my mother was dead. Why didn't you tell me?"

Richard: "Ben asked me not to volunteer any information, and you never asked."

Alex: "So you let my mother suffer out here alone all these years? What's wrong with you?"

Alex becomes violent and attacks Richard. Richard is a good fighter, but he doesn't want to hit a girl. He backs away as Alex claws at him. At one point Alex's hand goes into Richard's shirt pocket. She grabs on and yanks, ripping off the pocket and part of his shirt.

Richard tries to explain: "Your mother was crazy, and we did the best for you."

Alex: "Lying to me my whole life was the best? I don't think so!"

Another wild flurry and Alex grabs Richard's collar. With her free hand, she takes a mighty swing at his face. Rather than being struck, Richard pulls away, which causes the rest of his shirt to be ripped off. Alex's punch misses and she temporarily loses her balance.

Walt and Zach: "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Alex pauses upon hearing the childish chant.

Richard: "Please calm down, Alex. I apologize for not telling you the truth. Your father … I mean Ben, has a way of manipulating people, and I should have resisted him. Consider this: every minute you continue to fight me means a delay of a minute of meeting your mother."

Alex's mind is in a whirlwind, and it is hard for her to think straight. Karl puts a reassuring arm on her shoulder.

Karl: "He's right. This is not the time for violence. Let's find your mother."

Alex takes some deep breaths. "I guess you're right." She looks around her, and notices Walt's and Zach's hands are still tied. "Oh, I'm so sorry I doubted you and insisted you stayed tied up, and tied down to the ground in the rain."

Zach: "That's okay. It was kind of fun except for getting pooped on by those crazy birds."

Alex goes to untie the boys' hands.

Zach: "Can you just loosen it a little? I want to get to loose by using my teeth."

Walt: "Me too."

Alex obliges. The boys chew their way out of the ropes, with Walt finishing a few seconds before Zach.

Bea: "Okay, it's time to go."

Richard: "Um, can I ask one thing?"

Alex: "What?"

Richard: "Can I please have my eyeliner stuff?"

Alex: "I don't think anyone else uses that, so sure. And … thank you for telling me the truth now. That was very scumbaggy of you to keep it a secret, but by telling me now you're not as bad as Ben."

Richard: "Thank you. It won't happen again."

Karl gives Richard the eyeliner tube that Karl stepped on and Richard goes back whence he came. The rest of the group heads for Danielle's residence again.

With the storm over, Danielle and Emma go back outside.

Danielle: "For your next lesson, Alex, you must learn to hit a moving target,"

Emma: "Sounds good, Mom."

They go out a little ways and here something. Danielle seizes the bow, draws an arrow, and watches as two familiar figures emerge.

Danielle: "Freeze! Hands up!"

Walt and Zach are startled and raise their hands.

Danielle motions at Zach. "You! Go over there."

Zach sidesteps until he feels something snap beneath his feet, and is instantly caught up in a net suspended over the ground. Danielle then motions at Walt. "You! Over there!"

Walt: "But we brought Alex!"

Danielle: "No talking!"

Walt moves over to the other side, and braces himself as he steps into a noose that closes around his ankles and yanks him off the ground, suspending him upside-down.

Emma: "It's good to see you're all right."

Danielle: "Don't talk to the enemy. We have to find out what they're up to."

Emma: "I think Walt just told you."

Walt: "That's right! The real Alex is here! Just don't shoot."

Danielle: "You are trying to confuse me. But whoever else is out there, show yourselves."

Alex, Karl, and Bea cautiously emerge from the woods. Danielle is initially very wary, but when she looks into Alex's eyes, something in her mind snaps. The sight of Alex's eyes reminds Danielle of when she held her baby in arms so long ago. Danielle drops the bow and arrow as they stumble toward each other.

Danielle: "Alex … it's really you?"

Alex: "Yes … Mother."

Danielle: "But I thought this girl …"

Alex: "She was telling you the truth. It was sixteen years ago I was kidnapped. I'm sixteen; Emma is only ten."

Danielle turns to Emma: "You … really are Emma. "I'm so sorry."

Emma: "It wasn't bad, except for being chained to the bed that first night. But now I've got a great story to tell everyone."

Danielle becomes aware of the other two people. "Alex, who are these people?"

Alex: "This is my boyfriend Karl, and that's Bea Klugh, who's been nice to me. They're also running away from the Others."

Karl offers his hand to Danielle.

Karl: "Pleased to meet you ma'am. And I know Alex is sixteen, so I won't be doing anything inappropriate for two years."

Bea: "And I've come to realize my place is not with those Others. I'm going to join the camp of the people who crashed. But I suspect you want some time to yourselves to get acquainted."

Birds sing merrily and butterflies flap around, as overly sweet music fills the air.

Danielle: "Emma, I'll miss you. You really were like a daughter to me the past few days."

Emma: "Thanks. Oh, here's something to remember me by." Emma hands Danielle her boarskin vest. "Richard said something might happen to me and I have to be dressed the way I am now, or it might mess up the space-time continuum."

Danielle: "Richard? Space-time continuum? Who's the crazy one?"

Emma: "Richard is this guy with these wild eyebrows we met several days ago."

Alex: "We just saw him, and he confirmed that you are my real mother."

Bea: "Come on Emma, let's get going."

Zach: "Are you forgetting something?"

Emma: "Oh wait, I've got to do this."

Emma picks up the bow and arrow, and aims it at the rope holding the net ensnaring Zach.

Zach: "No, I can get out of this."

Emma: "This is more fun."

Emma shoots the bow, and it splits the rope, sending Zach to the ground entangled in the net.

Emma: "You can get out of that."

Zach: "That's the thanks we get for rescuing you?"

Emma: "Are you sure it was me who needed rescue?"

Zach: "Yes!"

Emma turns to Walt.

Bea: "Just a moment. I just realized something."

Emma: "What?"

Bea: "I don't have a picture of Walt hanging upside down."

Walt: "What? There was Ethan, and the time at the Arrow, and … actually I guess you're right."

Emma: "By all means, go ahead."

Bea takes out her camera and gets a good picture of Walt. Then Emma shoots another arrow, and slices the rope holding Walt above the feet. He lands on the ground in a fairly acrobatic jump from his hands to his feet. Meanwhile, Zach disentangles himself from the net. They all get ready to leave.

Danielle: "Good-bye all, and thank you for everything. Maybe we'll join you some time."

The background music becomes nauseatingly sweet. The children feel a great urge to leave before they become sick.

Emma: "That would be great. Hope to see you later."

Bea and the children head for the Swan Station while Danielle gets to know Alex, and Karl.


	66. Constantly Constant

Naomi gets a chance to call her team on her satellite phone.

Naomi: "Good news. I got to see the map and make a copy of it. The Tempest is on it. It's about a two-day hike north-northeast from where you are."

Charlotte: "Should we change course and head to it?"

Daniel: "I think we should start out with a full supply of food and water."

Miles: "Also we still need to take Frank to your doctor."

Naomi: "I told the people here you were coming, and they might get suspicious if you don't. Get here, rest for a night, and then execute your mission. Frank can stay here, and I'll make sure the rest of you aren't interfered with."

Charlotte: "Sounds like a plan."

The freighter group continues for a while but has to set up camp when it gets dark.

* * *

Juliet remembers that she is supposed to report to Ben. She lets Locke and Sawyer escort her to the tree where she has stashed the radio.

Locke: "You have to tell Ben something so he doesn't get suspicious of you."

Juliet: "I know. Something not too important. What would be good?"

Sawyer: "How about that stuff with the map on the blast door?"

Juliet: "Might that be too much?"

Locke: "We already have a good idea where their village is."

Sawyer: "Right. I was in the group that got partway there before Daddy Dearest broke down and came to his senses. And he and his kid have been there."

Juliet: "Okay, that sounds good." Juliet pushes some buttons on the radio.

Juliet: "Hello Ben?"

Ben: "Juliet! What's been going on there?"

Juliet: "Not too much. You sound excited."

Ben: "Alex, Bea, and Karl have gone missing. Do you know anything about that?"

Juliet is genuinely surprised. "No, I haven't. Do you have an idea what happened?"

Ben: "The fifth Vermicelli number has been changed. Bea may have been experimenting on Walt without my permission. But if she isn't there, it's probably something else."

Juliet: "But Walt isn't here. Libby's medicine wore off, so they figured it was best Walt stay away from her for a week until Sun made more. Emma and Zach went away with him to keep him company. I think they're due back tomorrow. But I'm sure they had orders to stay away from the village."

Ben frowns, unseen to Juliet and her companions over the radio. "Something is going on and I don't know what it is. That's not a good situation for a control freak like me."

Juliet: "Maybe this will strengthen your character."

Ben: "What? My character doesn't need strengthening. I have to find out what is going on. Now what is the news down by you?"

Juliet: "The only interesting thing is these people managed to bring a blast door down and get a look at a map."

Ben: "Why the sudden interest?"

Juliet: "It was Naomi, from that helicopter, who was really interested in it. Do you think that's significant?"

Ben: "Possibly. We'll have to keep on our toes Thanks for the report. I'll hear from you tomorrow."

They hang up.

Juliet: "How was that? I don't think he's suspicious of me yet."

Locke: "That was very good."

Sawyer: "Looks like you bought us some time, but ain't we leaving on that sub soon?"

Locke: "Perhaps. Only if the island permits it."

* * *

Bea, Walt, Emma and Zach continue toward the hatch, and have to stop when it gets dark. For a change, the children get to sleep in a real tent.

* * *

Morning comes, and Sun and Jin go to Sun's garden to harvest the medicinal plants, which are ready. They take them back to the hatch, where Sun and Jack prepare the potion and bring it to Libby, who is on the beach with Hurley.

Jack: "Here Libby, drink this, it will make you feel better."

Libby: "I'm fine now."

Hurley looks longingly at Libby: "Please Libby, do it for me."

Libby: "All right if you insist."

Libby drinks the medicine, and a strange look comes over her face.

Hurley: "Libby, are you all right?"

Libby: "I think so. Something's different."

Hurley: "How do you feel about extraterrestrial aliens?"

Libby: "That's nonsense, pure science fiction. Oh no, I did it again, didn't I? I made that poor boy go away. I'm sorry."

Hurley: "Don't be, it's not your fault. The kids should be back soon, and there's enough medicine to last you a week. By then we should be on that submarine and out of here."

Jack: "Hurley is right. This is nobody's fault, and everything is working out. I have to go tell Michael."

* * *

Four hours later, Walt, Emma, Zach, and Bea arrive at the hatch.

Walt: "Here it is. You can push the doorbell."

Bea: "This has a doorbell?"

Bea pushes it, and gets squirted in the face with the seltzer water. The kids fall down and roll on the ground in hysterics.

Bea: "What?"

Walt needs a minute to stop laughing. "After all those tests you made me take and all those times you tied me up, I had to get back at you somehow."

Bea regains her composure. "I admit you have a point. Now shall we go in? After you."

Walt: "There aren't any more booby traps, but okay."

They enter the hatch, and go downstairs. They run into Naomi first, who was hoping her team would arrive.

Walt: "Hi Naomi, we're back. This is Bea Klugh, who left the Others and is joining us. Where's my Dad?"

Naomi: "Your Dad is with Sayid working on the blast door. How do you do, Ms. Klugh?"

Zach: "There was a lot of rhyming in that."

Bea: "Please call me Bea. I'm fine now, and would like to see Michael too."

Naomi: "Did you see anyone else while you were out there? I'm expecting the rest of my team."

Bea: "No. Are they coming from the north like we did?"

Naomi: "No, they're coming from the east, so it's not surprising you didn't meet. They should be here soon."

The children go to the blast door.

Walt: "Hi Dad!"

Michael runs over to Walt and gives him a crushing bear hug. "WAAAAAALLLLLLLT!"

Charlie: "Please let that be the quota of that line for the week."

Claire: "Yes, you don't hear me yelling 'AAAAAARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNN' all the time."

Michael: "You don't lose Aaron as frequently as I lose Walt. And it's not all the time. And it has been a week since I saw Walt. But fine, no more of that for another week."

Walt can't say anything because he is being held too tightly to breathe. Then Michael sees Bea over Walt's shoulder and lets him go. Walt gasps for breath, and is grateful his ribs didn't crack.

Michael: "Bea! What are you doing here?"

Bea: "I realized that Ben is evil and I don't want to be associated with him any more. I hope that your group will accept me."

Michael: "I … I think that will be okay. If it's all right with Walt it's all right with me."

Walt: "It's fine with me, Dad."

Michael: "But Bea, how did you come to be here? You just came over and ran into the children? That's quite a coincidence."

Bea: "No, Walt and Zach came to me to help them rescue Emma."

Michael: "They came to you? But they promised me they wouldn't cross the blue line into your territory."

Walt: "I can explain. We were just walking around, when Danielle got the drop on us. She thought Emma was her daughter Alex, and aimed her rifle at us. She ordered Emma to hogtie us, and took her away. Emma did a great job of tying us up."

Emma: "I meant to ask you, how did you get out of that?"

Walt: "It took a long time. Zach was pretty useless, so I had to wiggle at least twenty meters over to him and get him partially untied, and then we eventually managed to untie each other."

Zach: "That wasn't fair. I'm a better escape artist now."

Walt: "So then I figured the best thing to do was to bring the real Alex to Danielle, so we went to their village."

Michael: "Wait a minute. I gave you orders not to go anywhere near there. You could have come back here for help, and we'd have gotten a larger and more prepared group."

Walt: "I didn't want Libby to see me and freak out."

Michael: "With your skills you could have avoided that. Or sent Zach ahead. Zach, why did you go along with this?"

Zach: "Coming back for help would have been boring. This was exciting, and it was fun escaping from being tied up."

Michael: "Walt! I told you not to let yourself get tied up by strangers."

Walt: "Bea isn't a stranger. Nor Emma."

Michael: "Okay on that count, but you still disobeyed me by crossing the blue line. And why did you go to Bea after all your experiences with her?"

Walt: "I meant to go straight to Alex's house, and then remembered she lived with Ben. Then I went to Juliet's, but she wasn't home."

Michael: "Juliet is here. .After she helped get the medical equipment for Jack's appendectomy she defected to our side."

Walt: "That explains it. So my next choice was Bea. I wasn't going to go to Ethan, or Tom, or Goodwin."

Michael: "So Bea, did you have to tie my son up again?"

Bea: "Yes, Alex didn't believe his story, so we gave him and Zach a truth serum. That drug can cause violent reactions, so I tied them to a post with strong plastic wrap."

Zach: "I can't believe how strong that wrap was. We couldn't budge."

Bea: "Anyway, Alex was convinced Walt and Zach were telling the truth, but was afraid it still could be a trap. We kept their hands tied, and tied them to the ground overnight. It was amazing, there was a sudden storm yesterday morning, and they freed themselves from the stakes, but got stuck in the mud."

Emma: "Aw, I wish I could have seen that."

Bea: "I got pictures."

Emma: "Oh good."

Other passengers move in toward the conversation.

Bea: "Walt may have changed another of the Vermicelli numbers. Anyway, we pulled them out and found Danielle, and she recognized Alex as her daughter. We left them, and Alex's boyfriend Karl, yesterday and made it here today."

Michael needs a minute to reflect. "I want to make sure I understand this. You tied up and drugged my son and his friend to interrogate them, and then tied them down to the ground overnight and left them in the pouring rain. And this was the best way you could find so that the crazy woman could be reunited with her daughter and release Emma. And now you expect us to accept you into our society?"

Bea: "That's what I'm hoping. Do you think there's anything wrong with what I did?"

Michael thinks for only a few seconds this time. "Can't think of anything. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me."

Jack: "Bea, your actions directly led to the greater good, so there's no problem."

Sayid: "Sometimes the ends justify the means."

Sawyer: "I think you did just fine. Couldn't have done better myself, Beanie Baby."

Walt brightens up. "Congratulations, Bea! Getting called a nickname by Sawyer is a sure sign that you've been accepted."

Michael: "That's well and good, but there is still an issue here. Boys, I admire your bravery and concern for Emma, but what you did was very dangerous and you have to be punished."

Walt stands up stiff. "I understand. I'll take it like a man."

Zach copies Walt. "Me, too."

Emma: "Please Mr. D., don't be hard on them. They were doing it to save me, even though I might not have needed saving. Danielle chained me to a bed only one night when I tried to sneak away, but she was beginning to trust me. When the time came I was going to make a run for it."

Michael regards Emma's words, and comes up with a decision worthy of Solomon. "Well spoken, young lady. I leave their punishment up to you."

Emma is surprised. Walt and Zach are relieved, and then get worried when they see Emma grin.

Emma: "Mr. D., Walt told me you used to bury him in the sand a lot after he was naughty, and I'm sorry I never got to see that. So Walt and Zach's punishment is to be buried in the sand."

The boys breathe easier.

Michael: "That seems very appropriate. I'm staying out of this. There's a shovel around here, and another on the beach, and I assume they'll dig their own holes."

Emma: "Of course."

Jack: "Oh Michael, I almost forgot. Sun's plants were ready this morning, and we gave the medicine to Libby, so she's okay now. She and Hurley are at the beach."

Michael: "Thanks for telling me. Good to know she won't freak out if she sees Walt."

At that moment, Naomi gets a call on her satellite phone.

Charlotte: "Naomi? This indicator says we should be right on top of you."

Naomi: "Let me come get you; the entrance is hidden."

Naomi bolts up the stairs, opens the door, and shouts out, "This way!"

Frank turns suddenly at the sound of Naomi's voice, His half-open shirt catches on a branch, and the top four buttons pop off and get lost among the foliage.

Miles: "Don't worry about it; you'll fit right in from the sound of things."

Naomi leads the rest of the freighter crew inside, where many of the Oceanics are milling around, some having lunch. Daniel becomes somewhat less self-conscious when he sees everyone dressed as if they were at a beach party. Naomi performs a lot of introductions.

Jack: "So Frank, your leg is injured? I must have a look at it."

Frank: "It's gotten better. I got along okay with a crutch, and then a walking stick."

Jack: "You must rely on me to cure you, not the island."

Shannon: "Daniel, that tie looks very fashionable on you."

Daniel: "Um, thank you."

Jack: "Hey, I was wearing a tie on the flight. What happened to it?"

Kate: "You must have taken it off with your shirt when you asked me to stitch up your back. I guess your tie got ruined with your shirt by sopping up all that blood."

The beeping alarm goes off, and Desmond enters the numbers. He then crawls out from under the blast door, and does a double take when he sees Daniel. Daniel gets the same feeling.

Desmond: "Haven't I seen you somewhere before, brother? Maybe in another life?"

Daniel: "I don't think I've had any other lives, but you do look familiar. Daniel Faraday."

Desmond: "Desmond Hume."

Daniel: "Wait a minute, I think I remember. Let me check."

Daniel digs an old notebook from his pack, and flips through the pages until he finds what he is looking for. In large green letters is written, "Before you abandon all hope, remember Desmond Hume is your constant."

Boone: "Green ink? That sort of ominous message is usually written in red."

Daniel: "My university kept running out of red ink, and green ink was cheaper."

Desmond: "I'm your constant?"

Daniel: "Someone or something that remains the same at different points in time. Like an anchor, that establishes a constant frame of reference. Back then, I somehow realized that at some point in the future we would need each other as constants."

Sawyer steps in from an adjoining room. "What's this about constants?"

Daniel straightens his tie before expounding on his favorite subject.

Daniel: "A constant is an object whose value never varies, and is very often the ratio of two quantities. For example, the most famous mathematical constant, pi, is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of any circle. Then there's the constant e, the base of the natural logarithm, the number such that the integral from one to e of one over x d x equals one. e can be computed as the sum from zero to infinity of one over n factorial, and also as the limit as n approaches infinity of the quantity one plus one over n raised to the nth power. Another interesting constant is the golden ratio, which is the quantity one plus the square root of five divided by two. Other mathematical constants include Euler's constant, Conway's constant, Catalan's constant, Porter's constant, Lehmer's constant, Khinchin's constant, Plouffe's constant, Apery's constant, and the first and second Feigenbaum constants. A constant may be defined as a convenient quantity, as Avogadro's number is the number of carbon-twelve atoms in twelve grams. But most physical and chemical constants involve measured quantities or are the ratio of two or more quantities, or ratios of products of these quantities. These include the speed of light in a vacuum, Coulomb's constant, Hubble's constant, the permeability constant, the permittivity constant, the ideal gas law constant, Newton's universal gravitation constant, Planck's constant, Boltzmann's constant and the related Dirac constant, the fine-structure constant, the Rydberg constant, the Josephson constant, the von Klitzing constant, the Loschmidt constant, the Vermicelli Equation constants, and ahem, the Faraday constant."

There is stunned silence, which is broken after a minute.

Shannon: "That's Michael Faraday, right? Not you?"

Daniel: "Um, yes."

Zach: "Can I please be buried in the sand now?"

Walt: "I second the motion."

Emma: "That should make up for missing several months of school."

Michael: "Fine, you can all go."

Jin: "How come the newcomer gets the longest paragraph?"

Sawyer: "Like ain't always fair, Jin Rummy. Every Mad Scientist is entitled to his day."

Walt gets a shovel, and he and Zach and Emma head for the beach. Michael thinks it might be a good idea to follow them, and Bea wants to hang with Michael, so she follows also.

* * *

While Jack gets Frank to the area Jack has set up for medical exams, Naomi, Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles go to an empty room to discuss their plans. Naomi shows them the map.

Naomi: "The Tempest is here. I'll make another copy of this map. Now you know what to do?"

Daniel: "Of course. Charlotte and I will get there and release the gas. This will enable Keamy's team to invade and capture Linus."

Naomi: "Correct. Now I've figured out your cover story. I'll say you are going back to the helicopter to make repairs. We'll get some equipment for you to make it look good."

Miles: "I want to go, too."

Naomi: "That wasn't part of the plan."

Miles: "But I'm so useless otherwise. I haven't detected any supernatural spirits; and don't think there are any around here. It will look good to have another person repairing the chopper, especially if Frank is injured. Also, if I'm not around here, I won't accidentally spill any beans."

Naomi: "You do make some good points."

Charlotte is disappointed, but then comes up with an idea. "Miles can be an advance scout, since Daniel and I are more important to this mission."

Naomi: "That sounds good too."

Daniel: "What if these people ask to help on the helicopter?"

Naomi: "We can say that we've been inoculated against something that would make those who haven't been inoculated sick. Now rest up, get plenty to eat, and be ready to go first thing in the morning."

* * *

While walking to the beach, the children talk.

Zach: "Unburying yourself from the sand is easy; I've done it lots of times. There must be something wrong with you."

Walt: "You never were buried standing straight up with Hurley walking around packing the sand down around you. If the sand is just dropped loosely around me, I can worm my way out, but if it gets packed down hard, it's like standing in cement."

Zach: "How do you know what standing in cement feels like? Is that one of the things the Others did to you?"

Walt: "No, it just that I couldn't move my arms, legs, and body at all. There was no space to move in any direction."

Emma: "I think Walt would look adorable stuck waist deep in a block of solid cement."

Walt: "Don't say that out loud! The audience might request to see that, and then the writers would find some contrived way to work that in the script!"

Zach laughs at the picture. "I'd like to see them try. There could be deleted scenes and DVD extras."

Walt: "If there are, I'll make sure you end up the same as me. And you too, Emma!"

The children reach the beach. Zach gets the shovel left there, and he and Walt start digging holes four meters apart. This attracts the attention of some of those on the beach.

Eko: "What are you doing?"

Walt: "I'm atoning for my sins."

Eko: "Oh dear, what did you do this time?"

Walt: "I didn't honor my father, and bore false witness against him."

Ana-Lucia: "And what about you, Zach?"

Zach: "I sinned too. I guess it was false witness against my neighbor."

Ana-Lucia: "Well, do what you have to."

Eko and Ana-Lucia see Michael and Bea standing at the edge of the beach, and approach them.

Ana-Lucia: "It's good to see the children are back. But who is this?"

Michael: "This is Bea Klugh, who you've heard about mostly from Walt."

Michael explains everything.

Ana-Lucia: "It didn't seem like much of a punishment, but that wasn't that bad of a sin."

Eko: "The punishment should fit the crime. This does seem appropriate. I think it would be good to meet the rest of the freighter crew."

Eko and Ana-Lucia head toward the hatch.

Walt and Zach finish digging their holes and jump in. They are in slightly too deep to see over the edges, and Emma takes advantage of this to wave to Hurley and Libby. They come over as Emma pushes the sand into the holes, burying the boys up to their ears. They shake their heads to get some breathing room.

Emma: "Oopsy, I may have overdone it."

Hurley and Libby arrive.

Emma: "Hurley, can you please flatten the sand down around Walt and Zach? It got a little too high."

Hurley: "Sure thing."

Hurley walks in a figure eight around Walt and Zach, while Libby feels compelled to apologize to Walt. She addresses the face looking upward at an angle.

Libby: "Walt, I'm so sorry I did again and made you go away. Did anything bad happen?"

Walt: "Sort of, but it worked out for the best. Emma got captured by Danielle, who thought Emma was her daughter, but Zach and I found the real daughter, Alex, and brought her to Danielle with Bea and Karl. But Zach and I disobeyed my Dad by crossing the blue line, so we have to be punished, and this is it."

Libby: "I'm glad to hear you're not upset. I really hope it won't happen again."

Libby kneels down and scratches Walt's ears as if he was a puppy dog, and then goes over to Zach and does the same thing.

Libby: "Zach, are you all right?"

Zach: "Of course I am. Most of the rescue mission was fun and exciting. Want to watch me break out of this faster than Walt?"

Libby: "I'm not so sure you can, but I'll give you space."

Libby and Hurley back off, and then Libby notices Michael and Bea.

Libby: "Who's that?"

Emma: "That's Bea Klugh, who just defected from the Others to join us. She's interesting. And the rest of the freighter crew is at the hatch; you should meet them."

Hurley and Libby go to Michael and Bea, and Michael does the introductions. Meanwhile, Emma makes some final touches, pushing sand against the boys' necks and patting it down.

Emma: 'You two have to start off in exactly the same position."

The position has the boys' heads tilted back, with sand up to their chins in front and ears in back. Bea sees what is going on, and strides forward with her camera.

Bea: "I just have to take a picture of this. Smile, please"

Bea gets more pictures to Emma's delight, and retreats back to Michael. Then Emma realizes something.

Emma: "I know, I have to get something back at the hatch."

Zach: "If you're leaving, I'm busting out of here."

Emma: "You wish."

Emma goes back toward where Michael, Bea, Hurley, and Libby are. "I have to get something from the hatch. I guess someone should watch those two, but I'm pretty sure they're above the tide line. Bea, could you please stay here with your camera?"

Bea: "Sure, but you're up to something. What is it?"

Emma: "A surprise."

Michael: "We've been running low on cliffhangers latterly."

Emma: "It's not that much of a cliffhanger, but it might be worth something."

Michael: "All right, Bea and I still stay here. Hurley and Libby, why don't you go with Emma to the Swan and meet the rest of the freighter crew?"

Hurley: "Sounds good. Shall we go, Libby?"

Libby: "It will be good to meet some new people."

Emma, Hurley, and Libby go back to the Swan. Michael and Bea watch Walt and Zach make virtually no progress.


	67. Exit 77

Emma, Hurley, and Libby reach the Swan in mid-afternoon. Emma searches for some particular items, and with Desmond's help she finds them and puts them in a bag. Hurley and Libby meet Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, and Frank, and Naomi gets to perform another round of introductions. Then Jack decides to take charge.

Jack: "We all need to talk."

Hurley: "But we're not all here. Some of us are at the beach."

Ana-Lucia: "Yes. Michael decided to be a responsible parent and look after Walt, and Zach."

Emma: "I have to get back to the beach quick. I'm not done with those two."

Claire: "Why don't we all go down there? It's a beautiful day."

No one objects, so they head to the beach.

* * *

Buried up to their chins, Walt and Zach try to dig themselves out of the sand. However, they can only move their heads a little. Walt gives up and relaxes quickly, but Zach is more stubborn. His efforts to twist and rock don't get him anywhere, and then he finds it impossible to take a deep breath due to the sand walls packed tight around his chest and back. That forces him to settle down.

Zach: "Hey, I didn't realize it would be so hard to breathe."

Walt: "That can happen."

Zach: "So what do you do?"

Walt: "Just relax."

Zach: "Aren't you going to try to get out?"

Walt: "I did, and I know from experience it's hopeless. "

Zach: "So can you do something weird with the weather like before, and get us out?"

Walt: "That was too recent; that takes a lot out of me. And besides, I have to be angry and stressed out, and I'm not. The sand pressing against my skin feels good. It energizes me, and I'm sure I'll need energy for something coming up. You should try it."

Zach: "This is some trick to get me to give up so you can escape first?"

Walt: "Believe what you will."

Walt closes his eyes and almost goes into a trance, enjoying a tingling sensation in his body. Zach squirms some more, with the same result, having to quit when he breathes too heavily. When he holds still, the tingling sensation overtakes him.

Zach: "You're right, this does feel good. How long are we going to be in here?"

Walt: "Probably until Emma gets tired of feeding us."

* * *

The large group reaches the beach. Emma dashes over to Michael and Bea.

Emma: "I can watch the boys for you now; Jack wants to have a big meeting. And Bea, can I borrow your camera?"

Bea realizes being friendly with the children will raise Michael's opinion of her. "Certainly, Emma." Bea hands Emma the camera, and Emma runs over to the two heads in the sand.

Michael and Bea join the large group of adults. Jack takes charge again and addresses the freighter crew.

Jack: "It's time to go to the submarine and get out of here. You're welcome to come with us."

Naomi: "But we think we can repair the helicopter. That's bound to be safer. Do you even know how to operate a submarine?"

Jack: "That's what we have Sayid and Jin here for."

Sayid: "Like I said before, learning to operate a submarine is a complicated process, and I had no experience with them fighting in the desert."

Jin: "Yes, and I only operated small fishing boats. I could be of use if there is an instruction manual printed in Korean."

Jack: "Juliet or Bea, do you know anything about operating the sub?"

Juliet: "I was brought here in the sub, but they drugged me as soon as I got on board, and was at the island when I woke up. Sorry, I can't help you there. All I know is where it is located."

Bea: "I came here on that too, but I wasn't drugged. I know the general layout of the vessel, but didn't pay attention to its operation."

Libby: "How big is it?"

Bea: "It will hold twenty people comfortably."

Hurley: "You sure it's not twenty-three?"

Kate: "How many people will it hold uncomfortably?"

Bea: "I suppose about thirty. Space shouldn't be a problem."

Rose: "I'm not sure I want to leave."

Jack: "What? It's my destiny to get all of us home."

Bernard: "The island has been kind to us. Rose is much healthier, and we don't have anything that important back home. Also, that would alleviate the crowding."

Shannon: "We could back for you later if you change your minds."

Rose: "That is reasonable. Let's leave it like that."

Jack: "It sounds like we have enough combined knowledge to give it a whirl."

Naomi: "Couldn't you please wait for us to fix the helicopter? Do really trust this Ben that much?"

Jack: "He gave me his word, and we shook on it."

Michael: "I also believed Ben when he said he would let Walt and me have their boat."

Charlotte: "This is the man who kidnapped your son using false pretenses?"

Michael: "Ben only ordered Walt's kidnapping. It was Ethan who did the actual kidnapping, saying it was a cops and robbers game. But he didn't put it in writing, or shake on it, or anything like that."

Sawyer: "You wouldn't make a good con man."

Boone: "I have an idea. There's lots of here with not a whole lot to do. Why don't we get a large group to fix the helicopter, and it will get done in no time?"

Sayid: "It is not possible for something to be done in no time."

Shannon: "Boone, you should rephrase your remark."

Boone: "Don't you recognize a figure of speech? It will be done very quickly."

Naomi: "I'm afraid we can't allow that. That chopper's been through some exotic places, and its internal mechanisms, now exposed to the air, may be carrying some diseases that we've been inoculated for. We can't risk infecting you."

Jack: "That sounds unusual. If it's dangerous, why are you flying us out?"

Frank: "The chopper is perfectly safe when it's assembled properly."

Locke: "Let's give them a chance. They've been risking their lives to rescue us, so we should let them give them a chance to do it as they had planned."

Jack: "Hmm, all right. But that doesn't mean some of us can't go to the sub and check it out."

Kate: "I agree. I think I'd like to be on the sub." _I have to be among the first out so the law doesn't catch up to me when I reach the real world._

Jack: "We can decide on that in the morning."

* * *

Emma reaches Walt and Zach. To her surprise, they seem peaceful and contented. Undaunted, she goes through with her plan, first applying pink lipstick to Zach, and green lipstick to Walt.

Zach: "Hey, what are you doing?"

Emma: "The consensus is you're getting off too easy, and I'm addressing a loose end."

Zach: "What was that?"

Emma: "Remember when Walt was pinned under the barbell and we talked about putting lipstick on him or painting his toenails? He got away, and that idea got dropped."

Zach: "Not every loose end needs to be tied up."

Emma: "Someone would complain. Now let's add some rouge, mascara, and eyeliner. And if you shake your head, it will only make it look worse."

Zach growls. "I'll get you for this."

Walt: "Zach, you need to chill. You had been making good progress."

Emma laughs, and then wonders why Walt is so serene.

Emma: "Walt, why are you so calm?"

Walt: "It feels great down here, and anything you do will be insignificant compared to all the other stuff that's happened to me."

Emma: "Fine, be that way! Can you smile?"

Walt does, but Zach doesn't, and Emma takes their pictures.

Walt: "You do realize you have to feed us?"

Zach: "Or dig us out enough so we can get out the rest of the way?"

Emma: "You can stay there for now. I'll get you something to eat."

Emma gets some fruit and water and feeds the boys.

* * *

Juliet and Bea realize they have to talk.

Juliet: "Good to see you join this side."

Bea: "I had to leave when I found out Ben has been lying to Alex her whole life. I admire Ben for the good research he's done, but kidnapping Alex and never trying to help her mother is too much."

Juliet: "I understand, and I agree. Now I'm pretending to be a spy for Ben, so what should I tell him about you?"

Bea: "With Alex and Karl also missing, he'll figure something is up. You could tell him the truth … or you can tell him that I needed a vacation."

Juliet: "Do you think he'll believe that?"

Bea: "No, but it's about time someone lied to him."

Juliet: "That sounds fair."

Bea: "When are you supposed to make your next report?"

Juliet: "Actually, I never made a report today. We may as well go now, but I'm supposed to have an escort to make sure I don't say anything I'm not supposed to."

Bea: "Who goes with you?"

Juliet: "It's been Sawyer and Locke. But it doesn't matter much who comes."

Bea: "Well, let's get someone and get this over with."

Juliet announces to the crowd, "Who wants to come with us to while I make my report?"

Jack: "I'd like to listen in this time. I need to know more of what is going on. Ask Ben about that submarine."

Locke: "I wouldn't miss it."

Juliet is disappointed Sawyer isn't volunteering again, but Sawyer doesn't want to appear too infatuated. She goes to where the walkie-talkie is stashed, with Bea, Jack, and Locke close enough to hear.

Juliet: "Hello, Ben?"

Ben: "Hello Juliet. What is going on over there?"

Juliet: "Two things. The crew from the crashed helicopter finally arrived. They said they're going to take some tools from the Swan and try to fix it."

Ben: "That will take a few days. What's the second thing?"

Juliet: "Bea Klugh showed up here."

Ben: "She did? What about Alex?"

Juliet: "Alex is not here, nor Karl."

Ben: "Why did Bea come over there?"

Juliet: "Would you believe she said she needed a vacation?"

Ben: "I can believe she said that, but that's not the real reason."

Juliet: "Okay. She says she found out that you kidnapped Alex from her mother when she was a baby, and that her mother has been living alone on this island all this time. Bea went with Alex and Karl to find her, and Alex and Karl are with her now."

Ben: "How did Bea find out?"

Juliet: "The kids, Walt and Zach, paid Bea a visit because Danielle grabbed Emma, thinking the girl was Alex. They figured they should bring the real Alex to Danielle. Bea is rather disappointed in you for lying to Alex her whole life, claiming that you were her biological father and that her mother was dead."

Ben: "Ms. Rousseau is insane. Alex won't be better off with her."

Juliet: "So that's the last name? I don't think anyone here knew that."

Ben: "I know everything there is to know on this island. But I must be kept informed of developing events to keep it that way."

Juliet: "Anyway, the Oceanics are planning to go to the submarine since you said it would be ready."

Ben: "Yes, I expected that." Ben makes a quick calculation. "I want you to go with them. If they figure out how to operate it, learn how, and bring it back after they reach some other island or ship."

Juliet: "Okay."

Ben: "Thank you. Is there anything else?"

Juliet: "No, that's all for today."

After they hang up, Ben turns to his allies.

Ethan: "You're not going to just let them sail away like that, are you?"

Ben: "Of course not. I did say they could have it, and I'm going to keep my word. But that doesn't mean they might have some trouble navigating. Some details need to be worked out, and we have a couple days for that."

Mikhail: "We could stall for time if necessary."

Ben: "That's an idea. I think I'm coming up with a plan."

* * *

The day ends without any more interesting events. Early the next morning, the freighter crew has a final meeting before their mission.

Naomi: "There's been a slight change in plans. Our reports indicate that there are explosives in a communication station called The Flame, and it's on the way to The Tempest."

Daniel: "What kind of explosive? C4?"

Naomi: "It's actually a new derivative, named B8."

Miles: "Bingo!"

Charlotte: "What"?

Daniel: "I believe Miles is referring to the fact that on a bingo card the numbers 1 through 15 are listed in the 'B' column. I gather it was an attempt at humor."

Frank: "It failed."

Miles: "Everybody's a critic."

Naomi: "Back to the subject, it's possible you will find it difficult to enter The Tempest, so it behooves you to have some real explosives. I found out that there is only fake dynamite in a ship marooned inland called the Purple Pebble."

Charlotte: "I don't know if I've ever been behooved before."

Naomi: "Just go to The Flame first. It isn't used much because the people here called the Others don't communicate with the outside world much."

Daniel: "Got it."

Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles leave the Swan Station quietly. When the Oceanic passengers wake up, Locke notices that Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles are missing.

Locke: "That's odd; they left without saying good-bye."

Naomi: "I'm sure they wanted an early start and didn't want to bother the rest of us."

Jack: "It wouldn't have been that much of a bother."

Locke gives Jack a look that he indicates that he wants to talk with Jack alone. A few minutes later, they get the chance.

Locke: "They're up to something. I'm going to go track them and find out what it is."

Jack: "Should someone go with you? Kate is a good tracker."

Locke: "Not as good as me, and she'd probably slow me down and/or mess things up. Besides, she said she'd like to go see the submarine."

Jack thinks, _What am I thinking? I'll spend more time with Kate this way._ "Okay John, I'm sure you know best in this situation. But how we will contact each other?"

Locke: "I'll take one of Sayid's radios, the ones we communicated with Charlie with when he was in The Looking Glass, and you take the other."

Jack: "Right, that will work. Good luck."

Locke takes off, Jack none the wiser about Locke's true motives, which are to prevent anyone from leaving the island just yet.

Jack rejoins the rest of the group.

Jack: "Okay, who wants to go to the submarine with me? Someone has to stay behind to push the button. We'll check it out, and come back here in a few days and let you know if it's safe."

Kate: "I'm coming."

Claire: "Since Desmond said he saw me and Aaron enter the submarine, I think I'd better go. I wouldn't want to screw up the space-time continuum."

Charlie: "I'm going with you. Desmond, did you see what happened after Claire entered? Did the sub leave port?"

Desmond: "The vision only lasted a second or two. All I can say is I saw Claire and Aaron get on. I have no idea what happens after that. I would like to come to see if it happens the way I saw it."

Rose: "As I said before, I don't think I want to leave. I'll stay behind."

Bernard: "And I'll stay with my love. We've become very good at pushing buttons."

Boone: "I want to get in on the action."

Cindy: "I've been ignored too much lately. I'm coming."

Hurley: "Hey, I can drive the Edsel, at least as until it gets too rough."

Libby: "In that case I'm coming."

Ana-Lucia: "I'm a highly qualified driver too, you know. I've been in lots of police chases."

Shannon: "But do you really want to be seen driving an Edsel?"

Ana-Lucia: "Good point."

Eko: "I'd like to come along. I haven't been doing too much lately, either."

Sun: "I can sit this one out. I'm pregnant, and should avoid possible stress until we know the submarine is working safely."

Jin: "That makes sense. But I would like to do something."

Sayid: "You can help me. I want to try to fix that blast door. If we do stay here a while longer it will be a nuisance rolling under that small space all the time."

Shannon: "I want to help with that too."

Juliet: "Ben said I should go along and keep tabs on you, so I'd better come to continue to fool him into thinking I haven't defected to your side. Sawyer, will you come with me?"

Sawyer: "What's in it for me, Ms. Doctor the Spy?"

Juliet: "It will confirm your membership on the A-Team."

Sawyer: "Oh, in that case, sure."

Hurley: "I don't know that everyone will fit, but some of you can hang onto the back bumper."

Boone: "That sounds like fun."

Shannon: "I'm sure it will be for you. We should let the people who stayed on the beach last night know what you're doing."

Jack: "We can drive by there on the way."

After a quick breakfast, Hurley, Libby, Jack, Claire, Aaron, and Charlie get in the Edsel. Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Boone, Cindy, Desmond, Ana-Lucia and Eko climb on the trunk and roof and hang onto the frame, which is made easier with the windows open. Hurley drives down to the beach, where Michael and Bea stayed to watch the kids.

Hurley shouts out the window: "Hey dudes, we're going to the submarine. Want to come?"

Walt, Emma, and Zach: "Yes!"

Michael: "I don't think Walt and Zach are ready yet. We may follow you at a distance."

Jack: "Good, because we can't wait. We don't know how long we'll stay there, so you may find us there before we leave."

Bea: "Have a good trip."

The large group leaves, but can only drive four kilometers north along the west side of the island before the island gets too mountainous and they have to walk.

At the beach, Michael asks, "Emma, if you want to go to the sub we have to dig the boys up."

Emma: "I think we should dig them up just enough so they can use their arms, and they can dig themselves out the rest of the way."

Michael: "That sounds good."

Michael and Emma dig out the sand surrounding Walt and Zach until they can free their arms. Still buried to their chests, they try to free themselves but can't, as the sand is still packed hard around their legs and feet. Emma watches them struggle for an hour before letting them have the shovels so they can dig themselves out. As usual, Walt is much more adept at this than Zach due to the former's experience, so it takes Zach an hour compared to Walt's half hour. The the boys wipe the lipstick from their faces and they all follow the Edsel tire tracks on foot.

* * *

After hiking most of the day, Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles reach the Flame, which has the house number 77 on the front door. They have not been trying to cover their tracks, so Locke follows them easily. Nobody is home, so Charlotte kicks a door in. They scout around and find some of the B8 explosive, and then encounter Locke, knife in hand, waiting for them at the door when they leave.

Charlotte gasps: "What are you doing here?"

Locke: "I spoke with Naomi a few days ago. She let it slip that rescuing us is not your primary purpose here, and I also believe that my group should stay here for the time being. Call her if you don't believe me."

Charlotte calls Naomi on the satellite phone. "Naomi? Can you talk?"

Naomi: "Yes. What is it?"

Charlotte: "We got to the Flame all right, but there was someone here to greet us on the way out."

Naomi: "John Locke?"

Charlotte: "How did you know?"

Naomi: "He caught me pumping Juliet for information, and figured out we were up to something. He disappeared this morning, so he was the logical guess. He's cool; he doesn't want the Oceanics leaving, so he won't interfere with our mission. In fact, he's more likely to help with it."

Charlotte: "All right, so we can tell him the complete mission?"

Naomi: "Yes."

Daniel: "All right then, here it is. We're going to the Tempest, which is a station that houses a large supply of gas. We stopped here at the Flame to pick up some explosives in case we need them to break into the Tempest, which should be much more secure."

Miles: "The Flame here is a communication station that the Others don't use because they avoid contacting the outside world. It was used by the old Dharpa Initiative, but now it's pretty useless."

Locke: "Wait a minute. I don't want my people to leave, but I don't want them killed. What kind of gas are you talking about?"

Daniel: "Kill? No, it's not nerve gas; we're non-violent. We're going to release a huge quantity of nitrous oxide. We'll have gas masks, but everyone else on the island will be rendered incapable of stopping us because they'll be laughing too hard. This will enable our other team, led by a guy named Keamy, to overrun the island, capture Benjamin Linus, and bring him back to our boss Charles Widmore for justice."

Miles, quietly: "Keamy is slightly violent."

Locke: "That is a brilliant plan. Do you have an extra gas mask?"

Daniel: "Yes. We came prepared in case one mask failed."

Locke: "How long will the nitrous oxide remain in the atmosphere?"

Daniel: "We're not sure. There are vents all over the island, but we don't know the exact quantity of the gas. It could last for several days, even weeks."

Charlotte: "But everyone on the island will be very happy during that time."

Locke: "That sounds excellent. I just see one little flaw in your plan."

Daniel: "What's that?"

Locke: "You should test this B8 before using it. There was some fake dynamite on this ship that somehow ran aground far inland, the 'Purple Pebble.' It would be a shame if this material was similar."

Charlotte: "We're very sure this is the real stuff."

Locke: "But it can't hurt to be sure. Let's get some more."

They collect more B8, and Locke arranges the plastic explosive in a neat pattern all around the Flame. He rigs several fuses, and has everyone stand far away. He lights one long fuse, and they all watch as it burns along the wire, goes into the house, and …

KAAAAABOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!


	68. Mean Mr Keamy

Author's Note: D. D. Casale, if you're still there I am so sorry it took this long, almost two years, to get to Keamy. I never forgot your reviews and just couldn't work him into the story any sooner.

* * *

Nothing interesting happens the rest of the day after the explosion of the Flame, and the various groups settle in for the night.

In the morning, Ben announces his idea to his cronies.

Ben: "I got a good way to stall for time. We tear the submarine user manual in half, leave a note, and take the second half to the Pearl. That way I can still keep my word about giving them access to the sub. And when the Oceanics are far away, we can make ... adjustments to the navigational devices, and give them personality changing instructions."

Tom: "What is the need to change their personalities?"

Ben: "I want to have more fun with them."

Ethan: "You are so clever."

Mikhail: "Who's going to do this stuff with the instructions?"

Ben: "Goodwin hasn't done anything in a long time. Goodwin, you're a good runner. You do it."

Goodwin: "I'm on it."

Ben: "Just a minute, I have to write the note."

Ben writes the note, which says "the second half of the submarine instruction manual is in the Pearl." He gives it to Goodwin who takes off, and reaches the submarine hours before the group of Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Hurley, Libby, Claire, Aaron, Charlie, Boone, Cindy, Desmond, Ana-Lucia, and Eko. Goodwin enters the submarine, finds the instruction manual, and tears it down the center. He takes the second half of the manual, exits the submarine, and races toward the Pearl.

* * *

The science team from the freighter makes a call to the freighter's captain.

Charlotte: "Everything is going according to schedule. We'll be at the Tempest in four hours to release the nitrous oxide."

Captain Gault: "Roger. We'll send Keamy's mercenary team when the deed is done."

They hang up, and Locke points out,

Locke: "This is a good time for me to make my fake report."

Locke calls Jack on the radio.

Locke: "Hi Jack, what's up?"

Jack: "We'll be at the submarine in a few hours. What's up with you?"

Locke: "Nothing much, John. They're at the helicopter, and are making repairs now. They didn't take the most direct route, but that's no doubt because they're not as familiar with the island as I am. Guess we were too suspicious."

Jack: "Well, on this island it doesn't hurt to be suspicious. Better safe than sorry."

Locke and Jack hang up.

Daniel: "You're quite an accomplished liar."

Locke: "It's easy when it's for the greater good."

They keep going, when Locke realizes something.

Locke: "How are the rest of the people getting here if your helicopter is damaged? Do you have another one?"

Daniel: "No, they are coming by a Kodiak powerboat."

Locke: "I thought that was 'Zodiac."

Daniel: "'Kodiak' is a cooler name. Anyway, I discovered that there is a single compass heading from which one may successfully approach this island on the surface or in the air. We used it to get here on the helicopter and return the first time."

Locke: "How can you use the same heading to get here and back?"

Daniel: "That's not what I meant. Obviously you have to reverse the direction to leave."

Locke: "That isn't exactly what you said."

Daniel rolls his eyes and the group continues on to the Tempest.

* * *

On board the freighter, the leader of the mercenary team, Keamy Martin, is making his opinion known.

Keamy: "There's no need to wait for those science geeks to release the gas. We can leave now and get to the island as the gas is being released. That will save time and we'll have Linus sooner."

Gault: "But what if it takes them longer to release the gas?"

Keamy: "That won't matter. We can take Linus anyway. That's what Widmore wants, and he's paying us good money for this. No one is going to stop me. I just have to take care of one thing first."

Gault and almost all of the other crew members are intimidated and let Keamy go. He goes to his quarters, takes a funny looking device out of a drawer, and then goes to the sick bay to see the doctor, Ray. Keamy explains that he wants the device attached to his arm.

Keamy: "I know some of the crew doesn't like me, so I'm taking out a life insurance policy. I want this rigged so that if I die, everyone on this ship and on the island will go with me. This cuff on my arm will register my pulse, and if it stops, bombs will be detonated, set off by radio signals."

Ray: "That's absurd and totally unnecessary."

Keamy: "That's exactly the kind of attitude that makes this necessary for me. Now are you going to help me, or do you want to risk me doing it myself and possibly causing it to go off accidentally?"

Ray: "Fine, I'll help you. That device won't register your pulse under that thick uniform shirt, so you'll have to roll up your sleeve."

Keamy obligingly does so.

Ray: "Now it's best to weld it in place so it doesn't accidentally slip. I'll get the tools."

Ray and Keamy cooperate to get the dead man's trigger securely in place on top of Keamy's left forearm. The device is somewhat bulky, roughly cylindrically shaped and fifteen centimeters in diameter and twenty-three centimeters long.

Ray: "There, it's set. Now you just have to rig the explosives here and when you get to the island."

Keamy: "Thanks Doc. As a reward, you get to live as long as I do." Keamy starts rolling his left sleeve down.

Ray: "That trigger is too thick. You'll have to leave your sleeve rolled up."

Keamy: "Don't tell me what I can't do."

A sharp musical chord is heard to remind everyone that is someone else's line.

Keamy tries to pull his sleeve over the trigger, but the sleeve isn't wide enough. Keamy forces it, and his camouflage shirt rips the full length of its sleeve to the neck.

Ray: "Now what are you going to do?"

Keamy: "I have another shirt. I'd be stinking pretty bad if I had to wear the same one every day."

Ray correctly deems it wisest not to comment. Keamy leaves the freighter's sick bay and heads for his quarters, his muscles bulging threateningly. Upon reaching his room, he flings off his torn shirt from his right arm and tries to pull on his other shirt over the dead man's trigger on his left arm, but that rips also. He scowls, then leaves his quarters and strides down the hall.

Keamy: "All right; everyone knows the situation. I need a small team to go after Linus, now. Who's with me?"

A lot of nervous crew members look at each other until one answers.

Omar: "I'll give it a shot."

Keamy: "Good man. Anyone else? There should be at least one more."

When no one answers, Keamy and Omar go upstairs to the main deck. A woman with chains wrapped around her is climbing over the railing.

Keamy: "Yo, Regina, what are you doing?"

Regina: "I can't stand being here any more, so I'm committing suicide."

Omar: "That's never the answer and would be a complete waste. Why don't you come along with us and do something useful with your life on what may be a suicide mission instead?"

Regina: "Can't argue with logic like that."

Keamy: "Good! We're leaving now. Bring those chains with you; we might be able to use them if we run into trouble."

Keamy, Omar, and Regina get onto the Kodiak powerboat, with Keamy loading it with lots of weapons, rope, and explosives. They take off for the island, and Gault calls the science team to let them know the mercenary team is already on its way.

* * *

The large group reaches the ferry where the submarine is docked.

Libby: "Nobody said the submarine would be painted yellow."

Hurley: "Maybe they're fans of that song and album about a submarine of that color."

Boone: "There's a greenish tint to that. I'd say it's closer to chartreuse."

Charlie: "We all live in a chartreuse submarine? I don't know if that's catchy enough."

Claire: "I'm sure you could make it a number one hit."

Sawyer: "Let's get the show on the road."

Kate: "If no one's going to do anything, I will!"

Kate strides to the circular hatch, and with a violent effort turns the circular handle until it opens.

Jack: "Wow Kate, that was … sexy."

Kate: "If that's what it takes to get noticed. Want to come in?"

Jack: "Ladies first."

Kate: "Oh, for goodness' sake."

Kate climbs down the ladder, followed by Jack, Sawyer, and Juliet.

Charlie: "I'll hold Aaron while you get in."

Claire: "Thank you."

Claire climbs onto the ladder, and then Charlie passes Aaron to her and climbs down himself.

Desmond then gets in, and realizes, "That's not how I saw it."

Charlie: "What are you talking about?"

Desmond: "In my vision, I saw Claire managing to hold onto Aaron while she climbed in."

Claire: "Does this mean I have to do it over?"

Desmond: "No, I think you're not supposed to be trying to match what I saw. But there'll be another chance, when the rest of the group gets here."

Boone: "We could sail this sub to the beach camp and pick them up there."

Cindy: "That's a thoughtful idea."

Ana-Lucia: "We still have to learn how to sail this tub."

Eko: "The instruction manual is over here."

Jack: "Give that to me. I have to read it first."

Ana-Lucia: "Jack, there's a note next to the manual. It says … 'the second half of the submarine instruction manual is in the Pearl'."

Juliet: "That's Ben's handwriting."

Cindy: "What's the Pearl?"

Eko: "That's the station John and I found on one of our treks. It's a spy station, with all sorts of computer monitors, at least one of which looks into the Swan. And it's got lots of neat computer games."

Jack: "Then I guess we'll just have to go to the Pearl after this."

Kate: "We can retrace our steps, and meet Michael, Bea and the kids on the way. It probably took a few hours to get those boys out of the sand."

Sawyer: "They might still be there, and that wouldn't be a bad thing."

Juliet: "But I have enough child psychology training to recognize that Emma really wanted to come to the sub. She won't let them stay in there too long. When we meet, we can veer inland and go to the Pearl."

Jack: "That sounds good. While we're here, we should check this sub out, and learn part of how to operate it."

The group does as Jack suggests, taking note of the layout of the rooms. Kate notices that there aren't any clothes stowed away anywhere.

* * *

Michael, Bea, and the children are a few hours behind the large group at the submarine, when they hear a powerboat speeding toward them from the northwest. Walt excitedly does jumping jacks and waves.

Walt: "Look, we're getting rescued!"

Michael: "I told you I would get you off this island and back home where we belong."

Walt: "But we can come back here on vacation, right?"

Michael: "If it's safe."

Emma: "Nobody said anything about a boat coming for us."

Zach: "It could be a surprise like those guys said the helicopter was."

Bea: "That speedboat isn't big enough to transport more than a few people at a time."

Michael: "Maybe that's the best they could do under the circumstances."

Soon the boat arrives, and Keamy, Omar, and Regina get out. With Keamy brandishing a high-power rifle, they don't look very friendly.

Michael: "Are you here to rescue us?"

Keamy: "We're here to get Benjamin Linus first."

Michael: "You can have him."

Keamy: "Where is he?"

Walt points to the east. "About eight kilometers that way."

Keamy: "Good. Let's move."

Bea: "But we have somewhere else to go."

Keamy: "No you don't. And I know how to make sure none of you cause any trouble. Omar, Regina, attach that chain to the bomb, and wrap that woman in the chain."

Omar and Regina proceed as Keamy orders. Michael protests.

Michael: "You can't do that!"

Keamy: "We've got the best weapons, so we can do what we want to. Now hold out your hands, or your girlfriend explodes."

Michael is in shock, and holds out his hands. Omar ties them together tightly. Keamy then drags Bea to a tree and forces her down into a sitting position.

Keamy: "I suggest you don't move, or you'll never see your friends again."

Keamy is bluffing, since if he detonates the bomb he and everyone else on the island will go with Bea, but she, Michael, and the kids don't know that.

It is very difficult for Bea to move in any case. But her brain works rapidly, and she remembers something important.

Bea: "Michael, kids, I know who that man is. His name is Keamy, and he is a mercenary hired by Charles Widmore. Ben may be evil, but Widmore is worse, and wants to use this island for selfish purposes. Don't worry about me, do what you have to do to stop him. But watch out, he is the type that doesn't leave witnesses."

Keamy sneers. "Your little speech will do no good." Addressing his crew, Keamy barks, "Tie those kids' hands."

Emma and Zach are too scared to resist as Regina ties Emma's hands and Omar ties Zach's. Walt gets a chance to move toward Bea.

Bea: "You know what you have to do."

Facing Bea with his back to Keamy, Walt crosses his hands behind his back and responds grimly, "Yes."

Keamy: "What are you two up to?"

Walt doesn't move as Keamy lashes Walt's hands together behind his back. Walt starts his act.

Walt: "Hey! I'm supposed to stop you but I can't like this. I can barely move my arms like this." Walt demonstrates, bending his elbows a few degrees.

Keamy, in a sarcastic tone, "Oh pardon me; let me adjust that for you." Keamy loosens the rope a little, and then ties it again very tightly, locking Walt's arms and wrists in place.

Walt: "Hey! Now I can't move my arms at all."

Keamy is a little suspicious, but examines his handiwork and convinces himself Walt is helpless, unless maybe he gets a good kick in. Keamy is far too aware to let that happen, though.

Keamy: "Now march!"

The group leaves Bea behind and heads east. After about an hour, they have gone two kilometers.

Omar: "Are you sure we can find our way back? What if they don't cooperate after we get there?"

Keamy: "I have a great idea for that. I'm going to leave a trail. Tie the man to the ground, with his feet pointing the way we came and his head the way we're going." Pointing at Michael: "You, lie down over there. You wouldn't want anything to happen to these kids, I presume?"

Michael shakes his head, and lies down on his back as indicated. Omar and Regina tie Michael's feet together, and with two more ropes stretch him out, tying his hands and feet to two trees.

Zach: "You're making a trail of tied-up people?"

Keamy: "Brilliant, kid. You're next."

Michael is humiliated and doesn't know what to say. "Good luck, Walt, Emma, Zach."

Walt: "Thanks, Dad. I love you."

Keamy: "Get moving!"

After another hour and two kilometers, they reach a slight north turn in the trail. Keamy notices four trees forming a rectangle by the turn.

Keamy: "Omar, how are we on rope?"

Omar: "We got lots."

Keamy: "Good. Tie that kid to these four trees."

Emma realizes it's best if Walt is saved for last, so she says something. "Why do you have to do that?"

Keamy: "Using four ropes instead of two will lighten our load. And you're next."

Keamy then turns to Zach, who obediently lies on his back. Omar and Regina unites his hands, and then he obediently stretches his limbs toward the trees. Soon Omar and Regina have him securely spread-eagled on the ground.

Zach: "Don't worry, I'll get out of this and rescue you." Zach tugs on the ropes, but can move only a few millimeters.

Emma: "Thanks. You look a lot like Walt did when we found him in that village."

Keamy: "Too much talking! Time to move!"

Emma: "Gosh, you're a meany Keamy!"

The smaller group proceeds eastward for another hour and two kilometers. There is another small bend in the trail, this time toward the south. There is a single tree near the corner.

Keamy: "Here's a good place. Tie Girly to that tree."

Omar and Regina untie Emma's hands, and then retie them behind her back around the tree. Then they tie her ankles together and tie that rope around the tree.

Walt: "Sorry Emma. That must look like I did when John tied me to a tree."

Emma: "Just be careful. See you on your way back."

Keamy: "Cut the mushy talk and let's go."

Walt: "Do you have to be so mean? Tying up kids and not letting them talk a little?"

Keamy: "You'll wish you hadn't said that. Now move."

Keamy, Omar, Regina and Walt continue to the east for another hour. They climb a large treeless hill, and Othersville is finally visible.

* * *

Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, and Locke reach the Tempest. It is located on a hill and overgrown by bushes and vines, and appears not to have been visited in years. Its heavy metal door is locked.

Locke: "Time for some fun!"

Locke places blocks of the B8 explosive around the door, lights the fuse, and with everyone present hiding behind a large rock, watches as the doors are blown off. The group enters the musty old building. Miles keeps an eye on Locke, but Locke makes no effort to impede Daniel and Charlotte as they make their way inside to a control room. Daniel turns on a machine and pushes lots of buttons.

Daniel: "It's ready."

Charlotte: "Time to put on the gas masks."

They put on the gas masks, and Daniel pushes one final button. A counter sets to 108 seconds, and begins to count down.

Locke: "What's going to happen?"

Daniel: "Vents all over the island will open, and the nitrous oxide will be released through them. It will take several minutes, but the island will be enveloped in the gas. A pale blue inert gas is mixed in so we will be able to track it."

Charlotte: "Daniel! Look here! This underground cavity … the reservoir is much larger than we anticipated!"

Daniel takes a look. "You're right. And the pressure building up is enormous."

Miles: "What does this mean?"

Daniel: "It means it might be a good idea to get out of here."

They run out of the Tempest as the timer ticks down to eight seconds. They get a short distance away when

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

* * *

Back at the hilltop overlooking Othersville,

Keamy: "Okay kid, which house is Linus's?"

Walt: "If you untie my hands I'll point it out."

Keamy: "Do you think I'm stupid?"

Walt: "Do I have to answer that? It's for your own good. You've left my hands tied behind my back for several hours now, and it's getting really annoying. You don't want to be responsible for getting me angry."

Keamy: "Save your breath. Now describe which is Linus's house."

Walt: "It's the one closest to the large building on the left, which is the DeGroovy Building."

Keamy: "Thanks. Now we don't need you with us any more. We can find our way from down there to up here, and follow the trail back. We'll just backtrack a little to keep you out of sight from the village, so there won't be any funny business."

They retreat several steps, into a shallow crater.

Omar: "But there're no trees here to tie him to."

Keamy: "No problem, I can tie him so he can't move."

Keamy forces Walt onto his stomach, takes another rope from his pack, crosses Walt's legs, and lashes his ankles together tightly.

Walt: "Hey, that gave me a wedgie!"

Walt wriggles some, but can't bend his arms or legs at all.

Regina: "He can still roll around."

Keamy: "I'm not done with him yet."

Keamy extracts yet another rope from his pack, and loops it around Walt's crossed wrists and ankles, and cinches it tight. This forces Walt's hands and feet to be locked in place high over his head. His back is arched more than Walt thought possible, leaving him balanced on his stomach with his chest and knees well off the ground.

Walt: "Ow, that made the wedgie worse!"

Keamy: "Do you think I care? Now try to move."

Walt can shake his head and wiggle his fingers and toes, but can't move his body. _Good thing Emma didn't hogtie my and Zach like this._ "Hey, I can't move! How did you do that?"

Keamy: "I know what I'm doing."

There is a loud "BOOOOOOOOMMMM!" in the distance.

Walt: "What was that?"

Keamy: "It's called good timing. In a few minutes you won't feel anything. Team, gas masks on."

Keamy, Omar, and Regina put on their gas masks. They climb up over the shallow crater and head down the hill toward Othersville. Walt makes one more attempt, straining for all he's worth against his bonds, but can't move his arms and legs a millimeter. Then he hears a familiar clanking sound, coming from around the east side of the Others' village. Trees are being uprooted and tossed around. At the same time, there is a fainter hissing noise coming from the west.

Partway down the hill, the mercenary team sees the orange smoke coming at them from the left, and the pale blue smoke drifting from the right.

Keamy: "What is that thing? Arrrrgh!"

* * *

Near the center of the island, Goodwin reaches the Pearl. He opens the door, descends the ladder, and places the second half of the instruction manual for the submarine on a table. He climbs up the ladder and out of the Pearl, closes the door, and heads back toward Othersville, when he hears a loud "BOOOOOOOOMMMM!" in the distance. He calls Ben on his radio.

Goodwin: "Ben, I just planted the second half of submarine manual. Did you hear that BOOM?"

Ben: "Yes, I did. I'm at the DeGroovy building, monitor the numbers, and it looks like the last number has been changed from 41 to 42. I have to find out if Bea is still experimenting on Walt. We may have just successfully concluded that experiment. Can you intercept that group between the ferry and the Pearl?"

Goodwin: "I should be able to … wait, there's this wall of pale blue smoke coming at me. I don't think I can avoid it."

Ben: "Blue smoke? What could that be?"

The pale blue smoke envelops Goodwin.

Goodwin: "Ha ha, you know Ben, ha, you're an awfully bossy little twerp, ha ha."

Ben: "Goodwin! What are you saying?"

Ben hears more laughter over the radio, and figures it out.

Ben: "Goodwin, get back here. Those crazies from the freighter must have released the nitrous oxide. We'll get you a gas mask, and then figure out what to do."

Goodwin splutters in laughter, and stumbles toward the village, which is a few hours away.

Ben thinks, _So that's what Goodwin thinks of me? No, the gas is messing with his mind. Hey, I need to find a gas mask before the gas gets here!_

* * *

Over at the Swan, the occupants hear a faint "BOOOOOOOMMMM." Naomi and Frank react quickly, going off to an empty room to put on their gas masks as a hissing sound is heard. Seconds later, Naomi gets a satellite phone call.

Charlotte: "We did it. The operation went smoothly. The only thing is that there was a much greater quantity of nitrous oxide built up underground than we anticipated."

Naomi: "That shouldn't be a problem. It will dissipate eventually and we'll be out of here. Continue with the plan. Head for the ferry where Keamy should have stashed the Kodiak. When he informs us he has Linus, we'll meet you there and leave together."

Charlotte: "Got it. Can you tell if the gas has reached your area?"

Naomi: "I think so. There was a hissing sound in the vents. Let me check out the people who are here."

Naomi cautiously ventures into the hall. Everyone seems to be happy.

Jin: "Sun, you look funny in that outfit, but you're still beautiful and I love you no matter what."

Sun: "Why thank you, you're the most handsome ha ha …"

Sun can't complete her sentence and grabs Jin. They fall to the floor and roll around.

Sayid is trying to fix the blast door, when the concept suddenly turns preposterous.

Sayid: "Why I am trying to fix this?"

Shannon: "I don't know. It's fun to roll under the blast door."

Shannon rolls back and forth under the door.

Rose: "Bernard, something's happening … I feel real good."

Bernard: "I know … this reminds me of my dentist's office … something about the air."

The beeping alarm goes off.

Bernard: "May have I this dance?"

Rose: "I'd be delighted."

Naomi gets Frank and they roll under the blast door to push the buttons and stop the alarm. No one else pays attention to the fact that they are wearing gas masks. Then they get out of the computer room to make a report.

Naomi: "The gas has definitely infiltrated this station."

Frank: "And we better push the button until we hear from Keamy."

Charlotte: "Understood. Why don't we contact him now?"

They try, but there is no answer.


	69. Greatest Nitrous Oxide Hits

The orange smoke fulfills its role as the island's protector. It sweeps up Keamy, Omar, and Regina and hauls them through the jungle back whence they came, knocking down trees in the way. The smoke throws them into their Kodiak boat with their clothes tattered and their communications equipment destroyed. A powerful gust of wind propels the boat toward the freighter. It is not determined if the boat is on the precise heading needed to escape the island.

* * *

At the Swan, Naomi establishes a three-way satellite telephone conversation with Captain Gault on the freighter and the science team.

Naomi: "We have a problem. We've lost contact with Keamy."

Gault: "Any idea why?"

Daniel: "The only thing I can think of is if the rumors of an island defense system are true."

Miles: "At least I don't sense that anyone died here recently."

Gault: "Widmore may have been right about that. But we have to determine what happened to Keamy's team and whether they were successful. Go over to the ferry and find out what you can."

Charlotte: "That's clear across the island, but we'll get on it."

Frank: "And I guess Naomi and I are stuck here pushing the button?"

Naomi: "I think I can train someone here to take over that job despite their condition. That beeping alarm is so annoying that this should be able to be accomplished."

Gault: "Then get to it, but don't take any chances. We can't risk having the island and the world destroyed yet."

Locke remains silent as he and the science team begin another trek.

* * *

In the middle of the island, Vincent suddenly senses that his master is in trouble. He barks and gestures at Gussie the Polar Bear, and runs toward where he thinks Walt is. However, the Labrador soon darts into a pale blue cloud and forgets why he was in such a hurry. He merrily rolls around on the ground, and is soon joined by Gussie.

* * *

On another part of the island, Danielle is showing Alex and Karl around when they see a cloud of pale blue smoke closing in on them. Danielle fires a rifle into it, but it has no effect. Moments later, the three of them are laughing hysterically.

Karl: "Why don't we blow this joint and sail away to the French Riviera?"

Alex: "Yeah Mom, your place is kind of a dump."

Danielle: "Because … actually there is no good reason to stay. Do you have a way to get off the island?"

Karl: "Alex's fake Daddy has a nice boat."

Alex: "He might get upset if we steal it."

Danielle: "Why should we care if he gets upset?"

Alex: "Good point. Let's pack up and go. The ferry where the boat is is all the way on the other side of the island."

They pack some food and weapons and head toward the middle of the island.

* * *

After a tour of the submarine, the large group heads back south along the shore. Soon a large cloud of pale blue smoke comes from the east. There is no chance of avoiding it.

Kate: "I think we may be in trouble. What do you think that is?"

Jack: "I've never seen anything like it. Notice it isn't affecting the vegetation."

Sawyer: "Why don't we try scaring it off?" Sawyer looks menacingly at the incoming cloud. "Begone!"

The cloud doesn't go away, and Sawyer inhales a little bit of it. He breaks into a silly grin.

Juliet: "Sawyer! Are you all right?"

Sawyer strolls over to Juliet and sweeps her off her feet.

Sawyer: "Couldn't be better. Did I ever tell you you look stunning?"

Juliet: "Why Sawyer, no … "

The gas sweeps over Sawyer and Juliet. Juliet smiles broadly, and then kisses Sawyer passionately. The others are captivated by the spectacle and don't notice the blue smoke enveloping them. Then there is a spontaneous chorus of laughter and applause. The nitrous oxide is not so concentrated as to be incapacitating, but it is enough to disrupt the survivors' thought processes and cause a continuous state of merriment. Bursts of chuckling and giggling occur frequently, and are too numerous to explicitly mention every occurrence in the script.

After a minute Sawyer puts Juliet down, and the passengers look around as if confused as to what to do.

Charlie: "What were we doing?"

Ana-Lucia: "We were walking in that direction."

Charlie: "Do you know why?"

Ana-Lucia: "No."

Eko: "It probably was for a reason. If we keep going, maybe we'll remember why."

Claire: "That sounds like a good idea. Let's go."

They continue onward, until they hear someone laughing a little ways into the jungle. They investigate, and find Bea sitting by a tree wrapped in a chain with some kind of box at the end.

Juliet: "Bea! What happened? You were supposed to keep coming and meet us."

Bea: "We had some visitors. Do you know a bloke named Keamy?"

Juliet shakes her head.

Bea: "He's a bad guy hired by Charles Widmore to capture Ben and take over the island."

Hurley: "Is that a bad thing?"

Bea: "Um, I guess so."

Libby: "What is that box you got there?"

Bea: "It's a bomb. Keamy said something about it going off if I tried to escape, or something like that."

Boone: "I haven't done anything heroic in a while. I'll defuse it."

Jack: "No, I have to be the hero."

Charlie: "Is there room for me?"

Claire: "My hero."

Sawyer: "So Boonemeister, do you know how to defuse a bomb?"

Boone: "I saw it in a movie. Some guy put the bomb in a bathtub, and the bomb just fizzled out."

Desmond: "That sounds like a jolly good idea."

Boone: "Okay. Let's unwrap these chains and get the bomb out of here. We can weight it down in the ocean with the chains."

Cindy: "That's so brilliant of you."

Boone, Jack, and Charlie race to untangle the chains and bomb from Bea, then wade forty-two meters out into the ocean to drop the bomb, weighted down by the chains, into the water. They splash their way back.

Boone: "That should take care of it."

Jack: "Even if it goes off, it will probably just make a little splash."

Claire: "Oh, Charlie, you were wonderful."

Libby: "So what do we do now?"

Bea: "We should go find Michael."

Kate: "Do you know where he is?"

Bea: "Keamy and his friends were heading toward the village with Michael and the kids."

Jack: "I guess we have nothing better to do."

Bea's head is far from clear, but she is lucid enough to know where she is: "It's this way."

The group heads toward the village.

Bea: "If you had nothing better to do, where were you going?"

Jack: "I forgot."

Charlie: "I remember something … something about a chartreuse submarine."

Ana-Lucia: "That's right! We went to the submarine!"

Bea: "How what it?"

Ana-Lucia: "Kind of funky. There was some reason we couldn't drive it."

Jack: "Oh, here it is! I have the instructions, or part of them."

Eko: "Now I remember – the rest of the instructions are at the Opal Station."

Juliet: "I don't know of any Opal Station."

Eko: "Maybe it's some other gem."

Kate: "Could it be the Emerald Station?"

Juliet: "That doesn't sound right, either."

Cindy: "The Ruby Station?"

Libby: "The Sapphire Station?"

Claire: "The Diamond Station?"

Juliet: "If that diamond don't scratch glass, Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass."

Sawyer: "You have a beautiful singing voice."

Charlie: "The Looking Glass Station? That was kind of a mess when I left it."

Jack: "No wait, it's right here … the Pearl Station."

Eko: "Oh right, the place with all the cool video games."

Bea: "Good, we can head there after we find Michael."

Jack: "Weren't the kids with you?"

Bea: "Oh yeah, I guess we should make sure they're okay."

After a while they hear a man laughing. Following the noise, they find Michael as Keamy's crew left him, all stretched out with his hands tied together over his head to one tree and his feet tied together to another. Bea loses control, rushes forward, falls down on him, and kisses him.

Bea: "Michael, it's so good to see you! Are you all right?"

Michael: "Why wouldn't I be? I feel great."

Sawyer: "Looks like Michelangelo is just undergoing chiropractic therapy."

Jack: "For someone without a medical degree that's quite an astute observation."

Kate: "So what now?"

Bea: "We were going somewhere … the Pearl. Help me untie my darling."

Sawyer: "Do we have to?"

Bea has to think to find the reason. "I want to be with him, and I don't want to stay here forever." Bea finds the determination to untie Michael herself.

Ana-Lucia: "So these people left a trail of tied-up people?"

Michael: "That was the plan."

Ana-Lucia: "So we keep going and we'll find the kids?"

Michael: "We should. They headed that way."

Bea: "Yes, that's the way to the village. Let's go."

They go, and after a while hear more laughing. Michael has a sense of déjà-vu, and is on the verge of being appalled at the sight of the nearly naked boy tied spread-eagled to four trees, but after a good whiff of the nitrous-oxide laden atmosphere, he instead finds the situation hilarious.

Michael: "ZAAAAAAAAAACH!"

Sawyer: "It is refreshing to hear him yell a different name."

Zach: "Hi Mr. D!"

Jack: "Zach, are you okay?"

Zach: "Sure, Doc. I don't think I've ever felt this good."

Bea: "Hello Zach. I'm glad to see you're all right."

Michael: "Same here. Are you doing a Walt impersonation? You look an awful lot like he did when Ethan and Tom tied him up in that room."

Zach: "I guess that's what I'm doing. But I can escape better than him." Zach tugs on the ropes and goes nowhere. "Ha ha ha, this might take a while."

Bea: "That's 'The Room,' or 'Room 23.' And I got to tie Walt down a few times back then."

Michael hugs Bea and swings her around.

Sawyer: "Wait, Mikerophone, you mean you were going to betray Katie, Jackie, Hurler, and me just because those Others tied down your arsonist offspring like that?"

Michael sniffles. "Well, they were going to tickle him."

Eko pokes Zach gently in the stomach with his Jacob stick. Zach responds in a fit of laughter.

Kate: "Wow Michael what was wrong with you? What were you thinking?"

Michael sobs: "I don't know. Parenting is so confusing."

Jack: "Don't be so hard on Michael; he did come to his senses and didn't betray us."

Michael recovers and puts his arm around Jack. "Thanks Jack, you're a great doctor. I want you to be Walt's and my personal physician when we get home."

Jack: "I'm neither a general practitioner nor a pediatrician, but I could consider a career change."

Kate: "So, should we untie him?"

Sawyer: "He's happy where he is, and we don't need him now. Why don't we leave him?"

Boone: "This could be one of John's games, and he might be upset if we interfere."

Ana-Lucia: "Remember when we put things like this up to a vote? Everyone who says we should leave Zach here, say 'aye'."

Zach isn't sure if he is supposed to vote. Everyone else except Jack says 'aye'."

Jack: "But I took an oath to make sure no one comes to harm when I'm around. I got it, we'll give him some food and water; that will last him a few days."

Juliet: "That's a sound medical decision."

The group holds a water bottle to Zach's mouth, and he drinks it. Then they feed him a couple bananas and mangoes, and continue toward the village.

Zach: "So you're really going to leave me tied down here?"

Sawyer: "Of course, Walt Wannabe."

Zach: "Ha ha ha, you're real funny, Sawtooth."

Sawyer laughs that someone got back at him via a nickname. Then everybody leaves Zach laughing along, squirming ineffectively against his bonds.

A while later they hear more laughing, and following the sound, find Emma secured to the tree just as Keamy's group left her.

Michael: "EEEEEEEEEMMMMAAAAAAAA!"

Sawyer: "Good, another different name. The Bellower is getting much more tolerable."

Emma: "Hi, Mr. D. Such a nice day to be outside."

Jack: "Emma, how are you feeling?"

Emma: "I feel happy. How about you?"

Jack: "Um, I'm happy too, thanks for asking. But I'm the doctor, so I'm supposed to be asking the questions."

Michael: "So Emma, you're another Walt wannabe?"

Kate: "What are you talking about?"

Michael: "This is pretty much just how John left Walt tied to a tree."

Kate: "Sorry I missed that."

Charlie: "I didn't. I couldn't help Walt at the time because at the time I was a junkie. I'm cured now, but I can give Emma the same advice. Say no to drugs."

Emma: "Thank you Charlie; I'll remember that."

Claire: "Charlie, you're so thoughtful."

Bea: "Hello Emma. I'm glad nothing bad happened to you."

Emma: "Hey Bea, good to see you." Emma scans the sea of smiling faces, and determines who is missing. "Hey, where's Zach?"

Bea: "We left him tied up behind."

Emma: "Ha ha ha ha ha, you're funny."

Bea: "He wanted to get loose on his own."

Boone: "This is one of John's games. I'm sure he'd want Emma to use her mind's eye and figure out how to free herself."

Ana-Lucia: "That could be logical. Emma, do you think you should get special treatment because you're a girl?"

Emma is insulted. 'No, how could you suggest that?"

Ana-Lucia: "Just testing. I'm proud of you."

Emma: "Good. I should be treated the same as that dopey brother of mine."

Eko pokes Emma gently in the stomach with his Jacob stick.

Emma giggles, and asks, "Why did you do that?"

Eko: "Because I did that to your dopey brother."

Emma: "Good for you."

Cindy: "So are you a better escape artist than your brother?"

Emma: "Of course." Emma tries to fray the ropes by getting up on her tiptoes and moving her hands up and down behind the tree, but there is so little slack that she barely moves a few millimeters. She settles back down in place. "Gosh, they tied me up real good."

Michael: "Well, Walt said it was no fun if it wasn't a challenge."

Emma: "That's right! I'll think of something."

Sawyer: "So it's settled, we don't need Emmy Lou any more than her brother, so let's get going."

Juliet: "But to treat her the same, we have to feed her the same."

Sawyer: "I meant after the feeding."

Emma: "That's so chivalrous of you, Sawdust."

Sawyer laughs again: "Another smart-alecky kid with the nicknames."

The group gives Emma water and fruit just like they did Zach, and then leave her behind, laughing as she struggles against her bonds, and continue to Othersville as Bea and Juliet know the way.

An hour or so later they hear the sound of a laughing child a short distance from the trail, in a bit of a shallow crater. There is a hushed silence as the large group expects someone to yell out a name, but it doesn't happen.

Jack: "Michael, don't you have something to say?"

Sawyer: "Or bellow?"

Michael: "I thought I'd be more popular if I kept quiet this time."

Ana-Lucia: "Good choice."

Hurley: "That looks like an extraterrestrial alien."

Libby: "Don't be silly, that's just a normal boy playing."

Michael: "It's my duty to investigate." He cautiously approaches the bound figure.

Walt: "Look Dad, I'm hogtied!"

Michael circles around Walt, whose wrists and ankles are still crossed high over his back, tied so firmly that his back is extremely arched.

Michael: "You're right."

Walt: "That Keamy dude tied me up so good I can't move!"

Walt, balanced on his waist, shakes his head and wiggles his fingers and toes, but his body and limbs don't move at all. Michael puts his hand on the back of Walt's head, and pushes it down until Walt's nose almost hits the ground. Then Michael lets go, and Walt rocks back and forth from his chest to his knees, like a rocking horse,

Walt: "Ha ha ha, you're funny, Dad. I can't stop rocking."

Michael announces to the crowd, "It's safe. If he is an alien he can't harm anybody."

Due to friction, Walt slowly stops rocking as the others get closer.

Jack looks at Walt. "That position looks uncomfortable for a human. Are you in pain?"

Walt: "Not at all. I don't feel anything. It's just good to be in the fresh air."

Bea: "Walt can handle anything. Now wasn't there something we were supposed to ask?"

Juliet: "Maybe what happened to those people who tied all your group up?"

Sawyer: "Do we care? The Munchkins are all safe; that's the important thing."

Walt: "Thanks, Sawbuck, but I remember right after those guys tied me up there was all this smoke. There were different colors, orange and blue."

Sawyer: "Why are you brats insisting on giving me nicknames? That's not the way it's supposed to work."

Walt: "Because it's fun. What are you going to do about it, tough guy?"

Sawyer puts his hand at the side of Walt's head, and pushes, causing Walt to spin around centered on his bellybutton.

Walt: "Wheeeeee!"

When Walt stops spinning his head is pointing at Charlie.

Charlie: "This colored smoke – are you sure you stayed away from drugs?"

Walt: "Yes."

Eko: "I got an idea. Whoever Walt is pointing to, spins him next."

Walt: "That sounds like a fun game."

Claire: "Like spin the bottle, only it's spin the 'Waltle'."

After everyone gets a turn at spinning Walt, Boone comes up with an idea.

Boone: "With the kids occupied, we could play a grown-up version of this, like Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare."

Cindy: "That sounds like a great idea. But should we get the rest of the adults in on it?"

Boone: "Definitely. Shannon loves those games, and it wouldn't be fun without her."

Walt: "The kids? I forgot, where are Emma and Zach?"

Sawyer: "We left them tied up back there."

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Sawyer: "We could do the same with you."

Kate: "But we have to feed you first, like your friends."

Hurley: "Maybe the alien doesn't eat like us humans."

Kate: "Better to be safe. And I'm sure some aliens do eat like human beings."

The group has Walt drink some water and eat some fruit like Zach and Emma did, and head south toward the Pearl and the Swan Stations.

Walt: "Dad, are you really going to leave your son all alone hogtied in the middle of the jungle?"

Michael: "Sure. We don't need you now."

Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Michael "You can practice using your alien superpowers. And always remember two things: I love you, and you're special."

The large group disappears over the rim of the small crater. Bea can't keep her hands off Michael.

Bea: "Michael, you're a fantastic father. You're exactly the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

* * *

The science team gets hot and thirsty on their trip.

Miles: "Can we stop for water?"

Daniel: "Getting dehydrated is counterproductive to our mission."

Charlotte: "Fine, I agree."

They sit down to drink from some water bottles, but unthinkingly remove their gas masks in order to do so.

Locke: "Wait, the nitrous is still probably around. You can't …"

But it is too late. The other three drink their fill, and suddenly seem very happy.

Daniel: "Johnny baby, you were saying something?"

Locke: "It's not important now. Quiet, I hear something."

There are some sounds of laughter to the south. Locke investigates, and spots three people stumbling through the woods. Two appear to be a young couple in love, and the other is an older woman. She suddenly spots him, and their eyes lock. Locke figures out who the trio must be.

Locke: "Hello there. I'm John Locke, and … you must be the famous Danielle."

Romance is wafting through the air. Danielle is captivated by the rugged looking older gentleman in the open boarskin vest and gas mask.

Danielle: "Tee-hee. Yes I am, but why am I famous?"

Locke: "Your traps are legendary. They have been an inspiration to me."

Danielle: "Why, thank you. Can you tell me about yourself?"

Locke: "I was lost until my plane crashed on this island. I have discovered that I belong here, becoming one with the island. And it is my destiny to meet you. What are you doing now?"

Danielle: "My daughter and her boyfriend convinced me that we should leave here. My place really is a dump."

Locke: "No! Our place is on this island. Come with me, we have a better place to live. It's an underground station called 'The Swan'."

Under the influence of nitrous oxide no one can put up an argument.

Danielle: "Come children, we have a better place to live now called 'The Swan'."

Alex: "Ooh, I've heard of that, but I've never been there."

Karl: "Okay."

Locke calls out to the science team, "Hey Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, we're going this way now."

Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles can't argue with the only one around still breathing uncontaminated air. They all head for the Swan, with Locke and Danielle holding hands. Alex and Karl follow them hand-in-hand, and then Charlotte gets the idea to take Daniel's hand. Miles can't think straight enough to realize he's the odd man out. They travel until it gets dark, and make camp near the Pearl Station.

* * *

Naomi figures that she has to try to train those still at the hatch to push the buttons.

Naomi: "Now listen up, everybody. Soon some of you will have to learn to push a sequence of buttons on this computer."

Shannon: "You don't have to tell us; we can do that in our sleep. Four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, forty-two, duh."

Sayid: "That is an insult to our intelligence."

Jin: "You want to hear that in Korean?"

Sun: "I think she gets the point."

Naomi: "Enough! You all are giving me a headache."

Frank: "Why don't we get something to eat?"

Naomi: "Good idea."

Naomi and Frank go into the pantry, and assemble a good dinner. They sit down to eat, and have to take off their gas masks to do so. They take a bite, when Naomi remembers.

Naomi: "Wait, we can't …"

It is too late. Naomi and Frank have taken breaths, and fumble with the gas masks which fall on the floor.

Frank: "Wait for what? Do you still have a headache?"

Naomi: "Headache? Did I have one? If I did, I forgot all about it."

* * *

The large group from the submarine reaches the Pearl when it gets dark.

Jack: "This looks like a good place to stay."

Eko: "It is. Let me show you."

Eko open the metal door in the ground, and they all go down the ladder. A healthy stream of nitrous oxide is pouring from the vents.

Ana-Lucia: "Now show me the cool computer games."

Eko gives a demonstration, and the crowd goes nuts playing games into the wee hours.


	70. Truth or Daredevil

In Othersville, Ben finds a gas mask in the DeGroovy building and gets it on shortly before the village is enveloped by the pale blue smoke. He tries to contact his minions by radio conference call, but everyone else has already inhaled enough laughing gas to become less than fully cognizant of their actions.

Ben: "Mikhail! Ethan! Goodwin! Tom! Danny! Check in!"

Mikhail: "What's up, Benji?"

Ben: "Benji? Nobody calls me that."

Tom: "Maybe it's time someone did."

Ethan: "Isn't that the name of a famous dog?"

Danny: "If you think Benji's a dog, there's Benny."

Ben: "Enough! We're getting sidetracked here. We have important business to attend to."

Mikhail: "B, E, N, J, I and Benji was his name, O!"

Ethan: "'His name, I' works better."

Ben: "No, forget that. We've been attacked by Widmore. We have to find out where his people are. We may have to move the island."

Tom: "Move the island? That's silly."

Ben: "It is not. But you're in no condition to help execute the plan."

Danny: "It's getting late. Why don't we sleep on it?"

Ben: "Fine, you're all useless now. I'll see what I can figure out on my own. Try to get to the DeGroovy building when you can."

* * *

The new day comes. The large group at the Pearl wakes up. A hissing sound still emanates from the vents, as the flow of nitrous oxide continues unabated.

Jack: "Anyone remember what we're supposed to be doing?"

Boone: "We were going to visit the others in the Swan and play grown-up games with all the grown-ups."

Eko: "Goody; that sounds like fun."

Kate: "Wasn't there something else here to do?"

Ana-Lucia: "Weren't we looking for something? This maybe … something about instructions for a submarine."

Eko: "Oh yeah, that's right."

Michael: "We can worry about that later. Let's go."

The group leaves the Pearl.

Libby: "Which way do we go?"

Hurley: "Hey, remember we abandoned the Edsel? We can pick it up and drive the rest of the way."

Bea: "Isn't that out of the way?"

Hurley: "I guess so, but so what?"

Claire: "Let's go for the joy ride."

Juliet: "All right then, the ocean is this way."

The large group angles toward the ocean.

* * *

Locke leads his group toward the hatch, but an overpowering thirst hits him. He tries to drink some water while holding his breath with his gas mask off, but inhales a little bit of the nitrous oxide. This is enough to make him forget to put the mask back on.

Locke: "Where were we going?"

Danielle points: "That way."

Locke: "Why?"

Danielle: "We'll find out when we get there, I guess."

Danielle and Locke make goo-goo eyes at each other, and continue southward, with Alex, Karl, Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles following.

* * *

After reaching the ocean, the large group somehow finds the Edsel where they left it. They climb in and on it, and Hurley drives it down the coast a while and then inland to the Swan station. They stumble out and enter the hatch.

Ana-Lucia: "Hello Everybody!"

Sun: "Hello. What's up?"

Charlie: "The sun?"

Jin: "Anything else?"

Boone: "We're in the mood for games, like Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare."

Shannon: "What a wonderful idea."

Sawyer: "We need a bottle in any case."

Sawyer grabs a bottle of Dharpa brand beer.

Kate: "It's a beautiful day. Let's play outside."

Naomi: "What about the buttons?"

Hurley: "That sounds like a volunteer."

Frank: "Am I included in that?"

Libby: "You are now."

Naomi and Frank roll under the mostly-lowered blast door into the computer room, and everybody else goes outside.

Cindy: "So how does this work?"

Boone: "Someone spins the bottle, and they ask whoever it points to 'Truth or Dare?'. Then the second person answers, and they're supposed to answer the first person's question truthfully if they say 'Truth' and do something the first person tells them if they say 'Dare'."

Sawyer: "Aren't we supposed to drink from the bottle?"

Kate: "Go right ahead."

Sawyer does.

Juliet: "Sawyer, since you have the bottle, why don't you spin first?"

Sawyer spins the bottle, and it points at Ana-Lucia.

Sawyer: "Truth or Dare?"

Ana-Lucia: "Umm, dare?"

Sawyer: "I … dare you to give Mr. Echo Echo a back rub."

Ana-Lucia: "I think I can deal with that. Though it would be better with massage oil or rubbing alcohol. Hey, I got it! Eko, lie down."

Eko obligingly lies down on his stomach, and Ana-Lucia takes the beer bottle and pours a little on Eko's back.

Jack: "That isn't rubbing alcohol, which is isopropanol, or isopropyl alcohol; it contains ethanol, or ethyl alcohol."

Ana-Lucia: "Close enough."

Sayid: "It's only off by a single methylene group."

Ana-Lucia gives Eko an intense back rub much to the amusement of all the spectators. Then it is her turn to spin the bottle, and it points to Charlie.

Ana-Lucia: "Truth or Dare?"

Charlie: "Dare."

Ana-Lucia: "Perform a tap dance for Claire."

Charlie tap dances brilliantly in front of Claire."

Claire: "Charlie, I didn't know you could tap dance."

Charlie: "I didn't either."

Charlie spins the bottle and it points to Boone.

Charlie: "Oh, sing something while doing cartwheels."

Boone: "What song?"

Charlie: "Whatever comes to your mind first."

Boone does eight cartwheels while singing "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round" beautifully. He gets a round of applause.

Shannon: "That song suits you perfectly."

Boone: "Thank you, thank you."

Boone spins the bottle, and it points to Sayid.

Boone: "Truth or Dare?"

Sayid: "Dare."

Boone grins. "I dare you to propose to Shannon."

Sayid: "Okay. Shannon, will you marry me?"

Shannon: "Do I answer now?"

Hurley: "It's not your turn to do something. You have to wait until the bottle points to you."

Sayid spins the bottle, and it points at Jin.

Sayid: "Truth or Dare?"

Jin: "Dare."

Sayid: "Pick Sun up and spin her around by holding onto her ankles like one of those death-spiral pairs figure skating moves."

Jin: "Sounds like fun."

Jin picks up Sun, then holds her upside down, gets a good grip on her ankles, and spins her around fifteen times. Then he sets her down on her feet, but as she is dizzy, she falls to the ground.

Sun: "That was exhilarating."

Jin spins the bottle and it points at Michael.

Jin: "Truth or Dare?"

Michael decides he doesn't want to go through what Jin just did.

Michael: "Truth."

Jin: "I thought it was suspicious how you ended up in that net with my topless wife. Was that really an accident?"

Michael: "Well, it was accidental that I came upon her when she was bathing. I was looking for Vincent at the time. But then I asked Vincent to grab Sun's clothes that she had set down and run away, and that dog actually did. So then I pretended to come to her rescue, and help her find her clothes. Us falling into the net trap was also an accident, but I quickly figured out that by thrashing around the right way that net to close in tightly on us."

Jin and Sun look at Michael with bemused expressions, and then burst out laughing.

Eko: "Confession is good for the soul."

Michael spins the bottle, and it points at Bea.

Michael: "Truth or dare?"

Bea: "Truth."

Michael: "Did you do anything else to my son I don't know about?"

Bea: "Well, I hypnotized him so that he overheats if he tries to wear anything more than that darling loincloth of his. Also so that he likes trying to escape so much that he doesn't mind being tied up. It made it easier for us to control him."

Michael: "After some sessions with John, Walt loved trying to escape, so that last part might not have done much."

Bea: "It made a difference after he found out we had kidnapped him for real."

Michael: "And what about this overheating thing? You mean you could have given him regular clothes and let him fit in your village while he was there?"

Bea: "Yes."

Juliet: "I thought that was a strange reaction when I tried to give him a typical village outfit to wear. Thanks for clearing that up."

Michael: "And he could have been dressed more normally all these weeks since?"

Bea: "That's right."

Michael: "Why did you do that?"

Bea: "Because he looked so cute and adorable, I wanted to keep him that way as long as possible."

Libby: "He really is adorable, whether or not he is an alien."

Bea: "And Walt will remain in that state until I reverse the hypnosis. Would you like me to?"

Michael: "Not on your life! We have a great relationship now, and I don't want to do anything that would mess it up."

Bea spins the bottle and it points to Hurley.

Bea: "Truth or Dare?"

Hurley: "Dare."

Bea: "I heard you're an awesome break dancer, but I wasn't around for it. So let's see you break dance now."

Hurley: "Sweet."

Hurley performs an exquisite break dance.

Libby: "That was magnificent."

Hurley: "Thank you."

Hurley spins the bottle and it points to Kate.

Hurley: "Truth or Dare?"

Kate barely has the presence of mind to remember that answering "truth" could force her to reveal her criminal past;

Kate: "Dare."

Hurley: "Hmm … can you sing opera?"

Kate: "I can try."

Kate belts out some unrecognizable opera tunes.

Jack: "That was … amazing."

Kate: "Thank you."

Kate spins the bottle and in points to Shannon.

Kate: "Truth or Dare?"

Shannon: "Dare."

Kate: "All right. I dare you to answer Sayid's proposal."

Shannon looks lovingly at Sayid: "Yes!"

Shannon runs over and jumps into Sayid's arms and they embrace.

Rose: "Congratulations! Have you set a date?"

Sayid: "Haven't had much time to think about that. Why not as soon as possible?"

Rose: "Sounds good. But we should have everyone here."

Shannon: "Then let's make it tomorrow afternoon."

Bernard: "Where are the kids?"

Sawyer: "We left them tied up back where we came from, toward that Others' village."

There is a round of laughter.

Bernard: "Should we go get them?"

Michael: "What's the rush? We have to wait for John to get back, and the kids will keep until tomorrow."

Kate: "Won't it take a long time to collect them?"

Hurley: "We can drive the Edsel to the Pearl from here."

Bea: "And then we can angle over to where the kids are. There's a path that isn't as hilly as going near the coast."

Shannon: "Great! Then let's get this wedding planned."

Eko: "I'll be delighted to perform the ceremony. I'll try to do better than last time."

Claire: "You did just fine. Who cares if a few words were messed up?"

Desmond: "What about the honeymoon? You're welcome to use my sailboat."

Sayid: "Thank you, that's very considerate of you."

Shannon: "That sounds wonderful – an island cruise for a week or two."

Charlie: Who's going to be in the wedding party?"

Shannon: "I hadn't thought about that. How can we decide that?"

Cindy: "You could spin the bottle, and whoever it points to is the maid of honor. And keep going for the bridesmaids."

Shannon: "That sounds fair."

Shannon spins the bottle and it points to Sawyer.

Sawyer: "I don't think so."

Sayid: "Let's say this makes you my best man."

Sawyer: "Hey, I can deal with that. In that case, I volunteer organize the bachelor party."

Juliet: "Sawyer, you're so thoughtful."

Shannon: "Should I keep spinning to determine the rest of the wedding party?"

Sayid: "Go right ahead."

Shannon spins the bottle several more times. It points at Ana-Lucia, then Jin, then Sun, then Jack, then Libby, then Desmond, and then Cindy.

Shannon: "Okay, that makes Ana-Lucia my maid of honor, and Sun, Libby, and Cindy my bridesmaids. Jin, Jack, and Desmond are the groomsmen."

Sayid: "That was efficient. There is another detail. We need someone to give away the bride."

Rose: "That's usually a male family member if at all possible."

Boone: "Oh goody, I win! I'm Shannon's only relative here. And it will be fun to give her away."

Shannon: "Um, that will be fine. Now let's get everything else organized."

Everyone makes arrangements for the parties and reception.

* * *

Ben is getting hungry, and is afraid the gas will affect him if he takes his mask off to eat. He has two ideas. He makes a radio call.

Ben: "Richard? How are you doing?"

Richard is at his home around the east side of the island.

Richard: "Never better, Benjeree-oo. What's up?"

Ben: "Never mind. If you find a gas mask, put it on, call me, and tell me to put on my gas mask."

Ben tries his last resort, and calls the Looking Glass.

Ben: "Greta, Bonnie, you there?"

Greta: "What?"

Ben: "Can you understand me?"

Bonnie: "What did you try to say?"

Ben thinks he may have the wrong number. "Who is this?"

Greta: "We give up. Who are you?"

Ben: "It's Benjamin Linus, you … oh never mind. Do you hear a hissing sound there?"

Bonnie: "Yes, it's such a pretty sound."

Ben: "If it stops, call me and tell me to put a gas mask on."

Ben gives up, figures he'll come to his senses before anyone else, and takes off his mask to eat a good meal. Then he becomes the happiest he has been in a long while.

* * *

Near dusk, Locke's group reaches the Swan Station. Danielle is hanging onto Locke's arm.

Locke: "Hello everybody. We got company."

Jack: "Good to see you, Johnny-Boy. Who have you brought with you?"

Jin: "Wait, I recognize her. That's the woman who caught me in a rope trap and chained me to a bed frame. You're … Danielle."

Danielle giggles: "Sorry about that."

Jin: "It worked out okay. I got over my emotional hang-ups and now have a great relationship with my wife, Sun."

Sun: "Pleased to meet you, Danielle. Don't worry about what you did to my husband; he deserved it."

Danielle: "That's very understanding of you. This is my daughter Alex …"

Sun: "That reminds me, I'm pregnant."

Danielle: "… Congratulations. And this is Alex's boyfriend Karl."

Alex: "Hello, y'all."

Michael: "Oh, so you're the one Walt and Zach got to reunite with Danielle and convince her Emma wasn't her daughter."

Alex: "That's right. Say, where are those darling kids?"

Michael: "We don't need them till tomorrow, so we left them tied up in the jungle."

Locke: "Good for you. I invited Danielle over because her place is such a dump. So what's happening tomorrow?"

Michael: "Shannon and Sayid are getting married."

Locke: "Why are the kids needed for that?"

Shannon: "Emma is the only reasonable choice for flower girl. And I guess it's Zach's turn to be ring bearer."

Sawyer: "And there'll be a bachelor party tonight that'll better if the kids aren't around it."

Locke: "That makes perfect sense."

Miles: "Did you forget about us?"

Locke: "Yes."

Jack: "Oh yeah, Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles. Did you repair the helicopter?"

Daniel: "No. I doubt we can get that thing to fly again."

Jack: "No problem. I forgot why we wanted to fly away. Does anyone remember why?"

There are a lot of confused faces.

Locke: "I'm sure the island intends for us to stay here. Now let's get down to business and organize this evening's festivities."

Sawyer: "The only really important thing is the booze."

Sun: "I just remembered; I'm pregnant and shouldn't be boozing it up."

Kate: "Then you can be the designated driver."

Sun: "Are we driving somewhere?"

Kate: "Does that matter? The phrase sounds good."

In a couple hours, the combination of alcohol and nitrous oxide hits hard.

Jin: "Isn't this a great party?"

Daniel: "I suspect that no one will remember it, so does it matter?"

Charlotte: "Hey, why don't we dance?"

Eko: "What should we dance?"

Ana-Lucia: "Something everybody knows – like the 'Hokey-Pokey'."

Desmond: "I'm sure I have that on a record."

Daniel puts a record on the phonograph.

Shannon: "That's a wonderful idea. Everybody get in a circle."

Sayid: "How does this go?"

Locke: "Like this. You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, you put your left foot in, and you shake it all about."

They dance for a while, when Karl makes an observation.

Karl: "Hey, Alex isn't old enough to drink!"

Alex: 'Oh Karl, don't be such a party pooper."

Alex rips Karl's shirt off.

Karl: "So that is appropriate party behavior?"

Karl rips Alex's plain brown dress Othersville-style dress off, leaving her in her underwear.

Danielle: "Naughty, naughty, Karl."

Alex: "No biggie, I got some other clothes in my bag."

Alex goes off and returns in a purple bikini and explains, "Based on what I heard about these people, I thought it would be a good idea to bring a bathing suit in a different color than the other ones here."

Danielle: "My daughter is so smart."

They all continue dancing until they pass out or fall asleep.


	71. Happily At Least Partway Ever After

There is a gentle rain overnight, and then the new day comes, with everyone waking up to the pleasant sound of the nitrous oxide continuing to hiss from every vent throughout the island. The group in the Swan Station ambles outside.

Shannon: "What a beautiful day for a wedding!"

Sayid: "You can say that again."

Shannon: "I know, but it would be annoying if I did, and I don't want to ruin the mood."

Boone: "Aren't the bride and groom not supposed to see each other the day of the wedding before the ceremony?"

Shannon: "Too late now. And who cares, anyway?"

Charlie: "Wasn't that a great party last night?"

Sawyer: "It must have been. I don't remember any of it."

Juliet: "I don't either. Does anyone?"

There is silence, and then laughter as no one remembers.

Kate: "Weren't we supposed to do something to prepare for the wedding?"

Hurley: "Yes."

Kate: "Do you know what it is?"

Hurley: "That's a different question."

Kate: "Do you have an answer?"

Libby: "I remember! We were going to ask the kids to be part of the wedding."

Shannon: "That's right." Looking at Michael and Bea: "You said you left them tied up somewhere?"

Michael: "Yes. I suppose it's time to get them."

Bea: "I know where they are. Just let me get my camera; I regret not having it before."

Jin: "I want to get out of this place for a while. I'd like to drive."

Sun: "That sounds like a good idea. I know Jin had to drive a lot when he worked for my father."

Shannon: "Let's go then. I want to ask Emma in person to be the flower girl."

Sayid: "And I should ask Zach in person to be the ring bearer."

Desmond: "I should be able to find suitable rings somewhere in the hatch."

Shannon: "Is anyone else coming?"

Locke: "I want to come. It's disappointing that someone else tied up the kids and I wasn't part of it. Besides, this could be an opportunity to practice my knife throwing to cut them loose."

Danielle: "I'd love to accompany John. I admire a man who's good with knives."

As others have already seen the spectacle, the group of Shannon, Sayid, Michael, Bea, Jin, Sun, Locke, and Danielle pile into the Edsel. Having been there before, Bea gives directions as Jin drives. They drive to the Pearl, and a ways beyond that before the terrain gets too steep, and pile out.

Shannon: "Who are we going to first?"

Sayid: "The fair thing to do would be to get the kids in the order they were tied up, so to equalize the experience for them."

Shannon: "I love your Solomon-like wisdom."

They all hike for a couple hours until they find Zach, still tied spread-eagled to four trees and laughing heartily.

Locke: "Hello Zach, how are you?"

Zach: "Ha, ha, ha those guys left me tied down here two days ago and I can't get loose. You're funny!"

Zach pulls feebly on the ropes. Locke examines the knots.

Locke: "This is very impressive work, almost as good as I can do. No wonder you couldn't escape."

Sayid: "We came here to ask you a question. Shannon and I are getting married this afternoon, and we'd like you to be the ring bearer."

Zach: "If I say 'no,' does that mean you won't untie me?"

Sayid: "I hadn't thought of that."

Zach: "It's okay. I'd like to do that."

Sayid: "Great! Let's get you loose now."

Bea: "Wait a minute. I want to get a picture. Smile."

Zach is already grinning but enlarges his smile anyway and Bea takes his picture.

Locke: "Okay, now watch this."

Standing back, Locke hurls four knives in Zach's direction. They neatly slice through the ropes and stick in the ground. Zach is able to get up and untie the ropes the rest of the way.

Danielle: "That was awesome!"

Locke: "I know."

Locke picks up the knives and the group heads to Emma, who is still tied to a tree and like Zach is laughing hard.

Zach: "Hi Emma! So this is what the Keamy dude did to you?"

Emma: "Ha ha ha! Yes, and these guys left me tied up here too. They're hilarious."

Zach. "Me too."

Locke: "So Emma, how are you holding up?"

Emma: "Good. Look, I can't move at all except my head. I was able to stick out my tongue and get some rain in my mouth."

Locke examines the knots binding Emma's hands and feet to the tree. "Again, this is very impressive work, almost as good as what I can do. No wonder you couldn't get loose."

Shannon: "Emma, we're here because Sayid and I are getting married this afternoon, and we'd like you to be the flower girl."

Emma: "That's nice. Are you going to leave me here if I say 'no'?"

Sun: "Fascinating how those siblings think alike."

Shannon: "I wasn't planning on that."

Emma: "It's okay. I'd like to be the flower girl again. I did a great job at Claire and Charlie's wedding."

Locke: "Now it's time to cut you loose. Watch."

Bea: "Hold it, I should get a picture of Emma, too, to be fair. Smile."

Emma smiles more than she has been, and Bea gets a picture. Then Locke strides behind the tree, and hurls two knives into it, one slicing through the rope connecting Emma's wrists, and the other slicing through the rope binding her ankles to the tree. Emma can then bring her hands in front of her and unwind the ropes.

Danielle: "That was magnificent!"

Locke: "I know."

Locke retrieves his knives and the group heads to Walt, who is still hogtied and laughing like he hasn't a care in the world.

Emma: "Hi Walt! So this is what Meany Keamy did to you?"

Walt: "Yep. And he did a lot better job than you did. I haven't been able to move."

Emma: "Maybe I should get a lesson from him."

Walt: "Maybe. So why are you here?"

Michael: "Shannon and Sayid are getting married this afternoon, and they invited Emma and Zach to be part of the ceremony."

Walt: "What do you need me for?"

Michael: "Good question. I guess we don't really need you."

Walt: "So you're going to leave me here again?"

Michael: "Eh, that would probably be overdoing it."

Locke steps up to examine the knots binding his one-time protégé.

Locke: "Wow, this is another great job. I can't throw a knife into that without hitting Walt. I'll have to do this the boring way."

Danielle: "I wouldn't say anything you do with a knife is boring."

Bea: "Hold it; before you cut him loose, I want another picture."

Walt grins without prompting as Bea takes another photograph.

Locke carefully cuts the ropes binding Walt's hands to his feet, then binding his wrists, and finally the rope binding his ankles. Walt staggers to his feet.

Michael: "Are you okay, son?"

Walt: "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

Sun: "You must be hungry. We brought some food."

They have a picnic, and then head back to the Edsel and then back to the Swan Station.

* * *

While the one group is retrieving the children, Alex and Karl get a chance to talk.

Alex: "So what do you want to do today?"

Karl: "That Michael gave me an idea. Let's get caught in one of your mother's net traps."

Alex: "That sounds like fun. Let's go. I 'm sure I can find one easily."

After four minutes they find one, and step into it. It works, and they manage to face each other and squirm enough so the net closes rather tightly around them.

Alex: "Wow Karl, this is fun."

Karl: "Thank you. I'd love to spend the rest of the day like this."

* * *

Back in Othersville, the remaining Others have managed to meet Ben at his house.

Ethan: "What are we doing here?"

Ben: "I forgot. Does anyone remember?"

Mikhail: "We haven't had a Book Club meeting for a while. Could that be it?"

Ben: "That sounds like a good idea. What should we read?"

Goodwin: "I don't know. Maybe pick a book off the shelf at random?"

Ben: "That's a good an idea as any."

Ben goes to a bookshelf, closes his eyes, and picks out a book.

Danny: "What did you pick?"

Ben: "The Oxford English Dictionary."

Ethan: "Sounds fascinating. Let's have a look. All these neat words: 'a,' 'aa,' 'aalii,' 'aardvark,' 'aardwolf,' … sounds riveting. Should keep us occupied for a long time."

The Book Club reads their book with fanatic attention.

* * *

The large group gets back to the Swan Station.

Michael: "Hi everybody, we're back with the kids."

Sawyer: "Is that a good thing?"

Juliet: "It means the wedding can proceed."

Jack: "It also means that I can perform my duties as a pediatrician. Walt, Emma, Zach, come here and let me examine you."

Walt: "There's nothing wrong with us."

Jack: "That's for me to decide. Now let's have a look."

After a brief examination, Jack comes to his conclusion. "This is interesting. All three of you have significant rope burns on your wrists and ankles. I wonder how that happened and if this could be contagious."

Emma: "I don't think so. We've been tied up in different places for the last two days. You saw us, remember?"

Jack: "Guess it slipped my mind."

Zach: "Yeah, I was really trying to get loose, but there was nothing I could do."

Walt: "At least now you know how it feels to be tied up for an entire episode, even if we weren't in it."

Jack: "Well, are any of you feeling any pain?"

The three kids shake their heads.

Jack: "That's good, but I should still put something on those burns."

Walt: "That isn't necessary. The first time Johnny tied me to the tree you didn't even have anything for my rope burns, and I was fine. The island will heal us in a day or two like it always does."

Jack: "But I want to feel useful, and there may be something like aloe butter in this hatch."

Emma: "I don't remember seeing any of that."

Zach: "I know I saw some peanut better. Can we use that instead?"

Jack: "I don't see why not."

The kids run off to the pantry to find some peanut butter. Jack makes his report.

Jack: "The kids are in excellent health, like usual. Their rope burns will be fine in a day. At least if they can avoid being tied up again for that long."

Michael: "Of course they are in great shape. And we'll keep a closer eye on them for a day."

Bea: "They've been through plenty of experiences like that. They're very resilient."

Desmond: "I found a couple of washers that weren't being used. How will these do for wedding rings?"

Shannon: "They're beautiful."

Desmond: "Thank you. Zach, take good care of these."

Claire: "There should be a wedding cake. I'll get it started, and it will be close to ready when we get back."

Claire hurried starts baking a cake.

Kate: "Shouldn't we be getting on with the wedding?"

Ana-Lucia: "Definitely. Emma, we'll pick some flowers on the way. Is everyone here?"

Miles: "Alex and Karl sneaked off several hours ago, and haven't come back."

Danielle: "Do you know where they went?"

Miles points in the direction toward Danielle's bunker.

Locke: "I'll help you find them. I'm great at tracking."

Danielle: "I'm pretty good too, you know."

Ana-Lucia: "Fine, go and we'll meet you at Eko's church."

Locke and Danielle don't have to go far before they find Alex and Karl in the net.

Locke: "This will be fun."

Locke takes out a knife, and throws it at the rope suspending the net. The knife slices through cleanly, and the net falls to the ground.

Danielle: "Come on you kids, it's time to go to Shannon and Sayid's wedding."

Alex: "Okay."

Alex and Karl flounder about disentangling themselves from the net.

Karl: "That was fun. We should do it again some day when there's more time."

The group heads toward the church, where they meet the wedding guests.

Locke: "We found them caught in a net."

Charlotte nudges Daniel. "That sounds like an interesting idea. Why don't we try that when we get the chance?"

Daniel: "Sounds like an opportune way to study the effects of forces, gravitational and … other."

* * *

Sayid is pacing back and forth near the church while everyone else, including Vincent and Gussie who amble in at random, has taken their places inside. He is a little unsure of what he is supposed to do, so Eko comes out to advise him.

Eko: "I'm ready to marry you now."

Sayid: "Oh, has there been a change in plans? I thought I was going to marry Shannon."

Eko: "You are. I meant that I'm going to perform the ceremony."

Sayid: "Oh right, how silly of me."

Eko: "Just stand in back and come in after the wedding party goes down the aisle. Shannon, who will be escorted by Boone giving her away, will then come in. Don't be nervous."

Eko heads for the Swan Station.

Sayid: "Eko, the church is this way."

Eko: "Oops."

Eko goes into the church, and the ceremony begins. After the wedding party is in position, the priest speaks.

Eko: "Dearly Belabored, we are …"

Rose: "Tee hee, that's 'Beloved'."

Bernard: "Are you going to interrupt him every time he goofs?"

Eko: "Let's just speed this up. Sayid, do you take Shannon to be your life, I mean wife, blah blah blah?"

Sayid: "I do."

Eko: "Shannon, do you take Sayid to be your busman, (*cough*) husband, yada yada yada?"

Shannon: "I do."

Eko: "Oh good. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss each other."

Shannon and Sayid embrace to a chorus of cheers.

Cindy: "Is there a reception now?"

Boone: "I don't think anybody planned one."

Ana-Lucia: "Let's just wing it. Party in the hatch!"

Soon everyone is back at the hatch, except for Vincent and Gussie who go running off to some random location. Claire takes the cake out of the oven, and puts on icing. Desmond goes to the record player.

Desmond: "Let's put on some music!"

Desmond takes a record out at random and plays it.

Naomi: "What is that?

Frank: "It's called a square dance."

Naomi: "But that record isn't square. It's round."

Frank: "I don't think the shape of the record has anything to do with the shape of the dance."

Naomi: "Oh right, square dance. The thing with the do-si-do's and all that?"

Frank: "Yes. You want to join in?"

Naomi: "I'd love to."

A couple of lopsided squares are formed, with the adult celebrants dancing awkwardly.

Zach: "Square dancing is for squares. Isn't there something else we can do?"

Walt: "There're some games around here. Let's see, there's chess, cards, and Twister."

Emma: "Let's play Twister then."

The kids go off into a small side room.

After a lot of dancing, an observation is made.

Juliet: "Sawyer, you're supposed to make a toast to the couple."

Sawyer: "Do I have to?"

Juliet: "Don't be a party pooper."

Sawyer: "Okay. Um, Sannon and Shayid, have a great life together."

Kate: "What a marvelous toast!"

Claire: "It's time to throw the bouquet!"

The single women gather around as Shannon grabs some of the leftover flowers. She throws them back over her head, and the bouquet is caught by Libby.

Hurley: "You rock, dudette!"

Charlie: "Now the groom is supposed the garter."

Sayid: "I don't think we have one."

Desmond: "We can improvise. There must be something around here." Desmond searches, and comes up with a fan belt. "I think this will do."

Charlie: "Is that the same fan belt you gave me to throw at the reception for Claire and me?"

Desmond: "Hey, we may as well reuse props if no one notices."

Sayid takes the fan belt, and the single men assemble behind him. He throws the makeshift garter, and it heads toward Sawyer. Seeing Juliet out of the corner of his eye, Sawyer deliberately bats the fan belt into the air. It is then knocked around by Michael, Locke, Daniel, Boone, and finally to Hurley, who catches it without moving.

Hurley: "Whoa, dudes, I … can't believe this."

Libby: "You better believe it, darling."

All the guests enjoy some wedding cake. Then the party winds down.

Sayid: "Well, I guess it's time for Shannon and me to embark on our honeymoon cruise."

Jack: "We've got you some food to last several days. Anything else you need?"

Shannon: "I don't think so … wait, Michael, Walt has had a habit of popping up out of nowhere, when Sayid and I would like to be alone. Can you make sure that doesn't happen for the next week or two?"

Michael: "Sure. I'll keep an eye on him, and leave him locked up or tied up somewhere when I have to sleep."

Bea: "What about Emma and Zach?"

Michael: "We better treat them the same way."

Shannon: "Great! We'll be off then."

Sayid and Shannon depart and make it to Desmond's sailboat as the sun sets.

* * *

In the hatch, Michael addresses the kids playing Twister. "You're not to bother Shannon and Sayid on their honeymoon, understand?"

Walt: "We won't. Hey, you want to spin the spinner?"

Michael: "All right, here goes. Right hand green! Left foot red! Right foot yellow!"

Emma, facing down with her legs crossed, gets sandwiched below Zach and above Walt, It is a struggle for all of them to maintain their balance.

Bea, to Michael: "I don't think they can survive a 'left hand blue' now."

Michael spins the spinner, and it comes up 'right hand red," which would straighten out the kids' positions considerably.

Michael: "Left hand blue!"

Emma: "It would be. I don't think I can reach … auugh!"

The pile collapses, with Walt pinned flat on his back by the combined weight of Emma and Zach. Their arms and legs are tangled so much Walt can't push them off him.

Walt: "I think you lost this round. You can get off me now."

Emma: "I can't. Zach, get off me."

Being back to back, Emma and Zach can't see each other easily.

Zach: "You move. My arms and legs and hooked around yours and/or Walt's."

Walt: "What! " Walt turns his head to the side. "Dad, can you help us? We're stuck, and I'm getting crushed."

Michael: "Don't tell me you can't handle that."

Walt: "Of course I can. But … I want to play another round."

Michael: "It's about your bedtime, and this works out great. You can't bother Shannon and Sayid, and you won't get any rope burns now like Jack instructed. Good night."

Emma: "Good night, Mr. D. This isn't so bad."

Zach: "Do I get to say anything?"

Emma: "No."

Michael and Bea leave the kids in the small room, and close the door.

* * *

Sayid and Shannon participate in wedding night activities on the sailboat, and fall asleep in each other's arms. They sleep well into the next morning, and the boat drifts out of the pale blue cloud, which extends several dekameters into the ocean from the shoreline. As they wake up, their heads clear.

Sayid: "Shannon, do you feel … different somehow?"

Shannon: "I feel wonderful now that we're married."

Sayid: "I mean … the air is different. Take a deep breath."

Shannon does. "Yes, I see what you mean."

Sayid looks back at the island, and then out to sea. "Do you see that? It's hard to see, but there's some kind of cloud over the island."

Shannon: "You're right. It blends in with the sky. What do you think it is?"

Sayid: "Based on how everyone was acting, it appears to be … you'd call it laughing gas."

Shannon: "You mean nitrous oxide? I'm not some dumb blonde who doesn't know chemistry."

Sayid: "I'm sorry, of course you aren't. The nitrous must still be affecting me a little."

Shannon: "I forgive you, my love. So what are we going to do?"

Sayid: "I don't know what we can do now. If we head back, we'll just get affected again, and I don't think there are any gas masks on this boat. We may as well enjoy our honeymoon, and maybe the gas will dissipate."

Shannon: "How long will that be?"

Sayid: "I have no way of knowing. It could be an hour, or a very long time."

Shannon: "At least everyone will be happy in the meantime."


	72. Gametown

On Desmond's sailboat, Shannon has a concern.

Shannon: "Sayid, since everyone at the ceremony was under the influence of the nitrous oxide, does our wedding still count?"

Sayid: "If someone objected I'm sure it could be annulled, but I don't see that happening. Do you?"

Shannon: "Not at all. It was just a legal technicality I was wondering about."

Sayid: "The legal structure on the island is pretty much whatever we want. Don't worry about it."

Shannon: "Great, I won't."

Sayid: "Now let's just enjoy our honeymoon."

Shannon: "I'd love to. I just feel that if we're the only one in full possession of our faculties, we should be responsible for our friends."

Sayid: "We can't do anything about them. We can sail around until the food and water runs out."

Shannon: "How big a supply do we have?"

Sayid: "I'd say enough for two weeks."

Shannon: "What happens after that?"

Sayid: "If the gas hasn't dissipated, we'll just have to make port and fall under its influence again."

Shannon: "If that happens, maybe we'll have thought of something by then. You're right, let's not think about that until the time comes."

* * *

Back in the hatch, Michael has to untangle the kids lying on the Twister mat.

Michael: "What would help in getting them unstuck?"

Desmond: "There's some motor oil around here."

Michael: "That's a good idea."

Desmond finds some oil in a supply room, and gives it to Michael. He squirts it on Zach, Emma, and Walt, and with Bea's help, manages to separate the kids.

Michael: "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

Walt: "Pretty good."

Emma: "Me too."

Zach: "Okay. So what should we do today?"

Emma: "How about playing another game?"

Walt: "There's a ping pong table in here."

Bea: "You should play something outside and get more fresh air."

Michael: "Good idea. We can carry it to the beach."

Bea: "That's a long way to carry something that heavy."

Emma: "Then that will be a good opportunity for Walt to show off his muscles."

Zach: "Hey, what about me?"

Michael feels he must be diplomatic, and realizes this is a chance to show off his own muscles.

Michael: "We can use your help. Grab an end and let's go."

Bea: "Emma and I can carry the ping pong balls and paddles."

Emma: "And I can hold the hatch door open for you."

Zach: "How gracious of you."

The quintet gathers up the ping pong equipment and heads for the beach.

* * *

Back among the group milling about the hatch,

Charlotte: "Ready to find a net trap?"

Daniel: "Sure. Where is it?"

Charlotte: "I'm sure Danielle would know."

Charlotte and Daniel find Danielle, who is practically smothering Locke.

Charlotte: "Can you tell us where a nearby net trap is?"

Danielle: "Yes."

There is confused silence.

Daniel: "Perhaps we should have asked, "Please tell us where the trap is."

Danielle: "Oh, why didn't you say so? Alex and Karl spent most of yesterday in a trap not too far from here. But it has to be reset."

Locke: "I love setting traps. Count me in on this."

The quartet goes off to where Alex and Karl were trapped the day before. Danielle and Locke take rocks out of a net so it can be raised, and then pull the attaching rope down, forming a circle on the ground. They put a branch over the rope to secure it, and then throw the rocks back in the net.

Danielle: "It's all set."

Locke: "Have fun you two. Maybe we'll come by in a day or so if we don't hear from you."

Danielle and Locke go for a stroll in the jungle. Charlotte and Daniel grin conspiratorially at each other, and then jump on the branch which triggers the rope trap. As usual, a device constructed by Danielle and/or Locke works perfectly, and Charlotte and Daniel are quickly secured in a tight embrace.

* * *

There are still several passengers milling around.

Desmond: "So Libby and Hurley, with all these couples going off on their own, do any romantic notions come to mind?"

Hurley: "Well, there is something I've been putting off for the right moment."

Libby: "Oh Hurley, you romantic devil."

Hurley braces himself for the question. "Would you do me the honor of playing golf with me?"

Libby: "What a fascinating idea for a date."

Boone: "The golf course? I completely forgot about that."

Jin:"I think everybody forgot about that. Was it ever completed?"

Kate: "Yes it was. I was there when it happened."

Desmond: "Aye, I remember that now. That sure became a dropped plot point."

Jack: "We can't allow plot points to be dropped. This looks like a good opportunity to pick one up."

Hurley: "Libby, I never asked you this, but do you play golf?"

Libby: "No, but I'd love for you to teach me."

Hurley: "Great! After I teach you, we could have a tournament."

Charlie: "Won't that be awkward with just one set of golf clubs?"

Claire: "How about if everybody in the tournament took one club?"

Sun: "That sounds logical to me."

Hurley: "That sounds … interesting. It could be funny watching someone try to drive with a putter, blast out of a sand trap with a driver, or putt with a sand wedge."

Boone: "Is that circular reasoning?"

Sawyer: "I think calling that 'reasoning' is overly generous."

Hurley and Libby go to the golf course and the instruction begins.

Jack: "Are there other plot points that got dropped and should be addressed?"

Ana-Lucia: "Isn't Juliet supposed to be making fake daily reports to Ben?"

Juliet: "Oopsie. Guess I forgot about that the past few days."

Naomi: "Ben? There was something my team was going to do about Ben."

Frank: "Someone from our group was supposed to meet him, or take him somewhere, or something."

Miles: "Whatever it was, it doesn't seem important now."

Juliet: "But I still better make my report;. Of course I need someone to accompany me to make sure I don't reveal any of our secrets."

Juliet bats her eyes at Sawyer.

Kate: "Go for it, Sawyer. I can always hang out with Jack."

Jack: "That makes it sound like I'm a second choice."

Sawyer: "Deal with it, Sawbones. Come on Julie, let's go."

Much to Juliet's delight, she and Sawyer head for the location of the hidden walkie-talkie.

Jack: "So are there any more dropped plot points we need to pick up?"

Kate: "Backgammon used to be important, but that got forgotten about."

Jin: "That's a good idea. Let's have a backgammon tournament."

Sun: "Yes, but let's go to the beach. It's too nice to play inside."

Cindy: "We can take all the games outside. What else is there? Twister, for sure."

Boone: "There's chess, and cards, and probably some other games. You all are right. We should act like we're in a resort."

Those remaining gather up the games and some food.

Rose: "Doesn't someone have to stay behind to push the computer buttons?"

Bernard: "This is a perfect time for those two background characters to do that. What were their names again?"

Rose: "Joanne, the woman Boone saved from drowning, and Seth, the pilot. Their important scenes came when you and the Tail-enders were still on the far side of the island."

The group takes the games and food to the beach.

* * *

After several hours of romantic interludes, Shannon and Sayid sail near the beach. They are still outside the cloud of nitrous oxide, but can tell there's some activity.

Shannon: "Can you tell what they're doing?"

Sayid: "Not without an optical aid. But there should be one on board."

After a quick search, Sayid finds what he is looking for.

Sayid: "Here we go, a telescopic telescope."

Shannon: "I like the term 'spyglass.' This would be more exciting if this were a pirate ship."

Sayid: "Whatever you wish. Have a look."

Shannon scans the beach. "It looks like they're all having fun. The ping pong table is out there, and … it's hard to tell at the distance. Maybe some board games."

Shannon hands the spyglass to Sayid, who takes a look.

Sayid: "Yes, and the golf course is getting some use. Since they're enjoying themselves, there's no need to let them know of their situation now."

Shannon: "Good. We'll leave them be, and keep this time for ourselves."

* * *

Sawyer and Juliet reach the tree with the walkie-talkie, and Juliet calls Ben.

Juliet: "Hello Benjy."

Ben has to break away from the Book Club meeting.

Ben: "Juliet! Good to hear from you. Why are you calling?"

Juliet: "I'm supposed to report to you on the Oceanics' important activities."

Ben: "Oh that. I got distracted with other things. I'm at a Book Club meeting in Ethan's house."

Juliet: "Sorry I'm missing it. What are you reading?"

Ben: "The Oxford English Dictionary. We just started the 'B's. There're some great words like ba, baa, babble, babe , … babe, that reminds me of you."

Juliet: "You sly devil. Now, what were we talking about?"

Ben: "You were going to give me your report."

Juliet: "Oh yes, I can update that other report I gave you. Day 1 – Jack loses shirt. Day 2: Shannon loses all clothes expect pink bikini. Also Eko gives up shirt at Ana-Lucia's request. Day 3 – Sayid loses shirt. Day 4 – Sawyer loses shirt.. Day 5 – Boone loses shirt while heroically rescuing forgotten character. Day 6 – Michael loses shirt. Day 7: Sun loses all clothes except skirt; it gets transformed into bikini top and miniskirt by Michael. Day 8 – Jin loses shirt. Day 10: Walt loses all clothes, gets boarskin loincloth from Locke. Day 11 – Charlie loses shirt. Day 11 – Kate loses all clothes except underwear; gets two-piece boarskin outfit from Locke on Day 12. Day 33 – Locke loses shirt, makes boarksin vest. Day 50 – Zach loses shirt. Day 52 – Zach trades remaining clothes for boarskin loincloth from Locke. Day 53 – Emma gives up clothes for two-piece boarskin outfit from Locke. Day 57 – Most of Ana-Lucia's clothes are cut off by Shannon; left with bra-like tank top and short shorts. Also Desmond loses shirt. Day 59 – Juliet loses all clothes except blue bikini. Day 61 – Naomi loses shirt; maintains her sports bra. Day 64 – Charlotte loses all clothes except green bikini. Also Daniel loses shirt, but keeps tie. Day 65 – Miles loses shirt. Day 67 – Richard loses shirt. Day 70 – Keamy loses shirt. Day 71 – Karl loses shirt, and then Alex loses dress but gets purple bikini."

Ben: "Did you refer to yourself in the third person there?"

Juliet: "I thought it would sound more professional."

Ben: "That's an interesting memory you have, Ms Professional."

Juliet: "I have a great memory for the important things, and leave the nicknames to Sawyer."

Ben: "Anything else?"

Juliet: "Oh yeah, Shannon and Sayid got married."

Ben: "Isn't that nice?"

Juliet: "Yes. Now I think I should go before anyone gets suspicious."

Ben: "Toodle-oo."

Juliet hangs up, and turns to Sawyer. "So what do you want to do now?"

Sawyer: "There's a great pond for swimming somewhere around here."

Juliet: "Oh, I think I know what you mean. Some ways to the west, right?"

Juliet points.

Sawyer: "I think that's it."

Juliet and Sawyer hike to the pond where Sawyer and Kate went swimming in Chapter 14.

Juliet: "This is a beautiful place."

Sawyer: "Almost as beautiful as you."

Juliet giggles.

Sawyer: "Last one in is a rotten egg."

Juliet: "Just a second. It would be a shame for you to get those jeans wet. Why don't you hang them on a tree branch?"

Sawyer: "Fair is fair. It would also be a shame if your bikini got wet."

Juliet: "I have to admit, that definitely is fair. Besides, it is kind of hot in this thing."

The scene fades away as it is better left to the imagination, although two loud splashes are heard.

* * *

The day goes on, and everybody has a great time. People playing games on the beach wave at the sailboat which Sayid and Shannon keep out of range of the gas. As the islanders drift back to the beach in the late afternoon, they have a big party with lots of food. Walt gets in a final game of ping pong with Michael and beats him 21-8.

Walt: "Ha ha, you stink. Let's play one more game."

Michael: "It's your bedtime. And remember I have to make sure you can't bother Shannon and Sayid."

Walt: "Pleeeeeease? Just one more game."

Michael: "I have an idea for a game. You'll be tied up, and if you can escape I'll play another ping pong game with you. Otherwise you spend the night like that."

The creators apologize for the inclusion of the following scene, which was supposed to be deleted due to excessive stupidity and repetition. Unfortunately hackers fused the footage in and due to time constraints it could not be removed. Please skip to the next solid horizontal line.

Walt: "Okay."

Zach: "Ha ha, I bet you'll lose."

Walt: "Ha ha yourself. As if there's a chance you could win."

Zach: "I would, too."

Michael: "Why don't we make it a contest? We'll tie Zach up too, and whoever gets out first can laugh at the loser."

Zach: "You're on!"

Sawyer: "Any chance you can get Emmy-Lou in on this too? Then it'll be clear for us adults to play our kind of games."

Emma: "I think I'd just like to watch those two fail."

Michael: "Bea, did you ever hypnotize Emma into thinking she's an escape artist?"

Bea: "No, I guess that was an oversight. But we can correct it now."

Bea finds her heptagonal medallion in a bag dropped on the beach, and then holds it in front of Emma.

Bea: "Emma, I want to watch this medallion swing back and forth. And get sleepy."

Emma: "Okay." Emma's eyes glaze over quickly.

Bea: "Now Emma, when I snap my fingers, you will have an overpowering urge to prove you're a better escape artist than Zach or Walt. Do you understand?"

Emma: "I … understand."

Bea snaps her fingers and Emma wakes up.

Emma is a little confused. "Did something just happen?"

Bea: "We're about to watch an escape contest between Zach and Walt."

Emma: "Those amateurs! There nowhere near as good as I am in that."

Zach: "Care to try to prove it, big mouth?"

Emma: "It won't be a contest. Let's go."

Jack: "Just a minute, I want to make sure you're all fit for this. Let me see your hands. Hmm, the rope burns are all healed. Okay."

Claire: "Michael, is tying up your kid and his friends an example of good parenting?"

Michael: "I'm not going to tie them up."

Claire: "Did I misunderstand?"

Michael: "I'm leaving that to my good friend. Hey Johnny, I got a job for you!"

Locke appears immediately, as if stepping out from nowhere. "You rang?"

Michael: "Wrong show. Actually I called, but that doesn't matter. The kids are having an escape artist contest, you're the best person for the obvious job."

Locke: "Such kind words. I'll be honored to do it."

Michael, Bea, Locke, Walt, Emma, and Zach go twenty-three meters into the jungle so they are out of sight of the beach.

Michael: "Instead of leaving them far apart like Keamy did, I thought it would be nice to tie them up close enough so they can talk to each other."

Bea: "That's so thoughtful of you. And can I suggest a little variety? Let's not tie them the same way as before."

Emma: "Zach's never been tied to a tree."

Zach: "Emma's never been hogtied."

Locke: "Okey-doke."

Locke ties Zach securely to a tree and hogties Emma. The siblings are facing each other.

Michael: "What about Walt?"

Locke: "Well, Keamy left Zach tied spread-eagled to four trees, Emma tied to one tree behind her back, and Walt hogtied, so I figure it makes sense that Walt should be spread-eagled now."

Walt: "I've already been spread-eagled, under that pendulum thing with the feather duster."

Locke: "Is there some way you haven't been tied up?"

Walt can't think of anything.

Bea: "That will be fine; that time Walt was inside Room 23, and now it will be outside in the fresh air."

Walt: "Okay."

Locke ties Walt spread-eagled on his back to four trees. Walt can lift up his head to see Emma and Zach.

Michael: "Are you all okay?"

Emma: "Yes."

Zach: "Yes."

Walt: "Yes – oh, I just remembered, it's been longer since I was tied to a tree than spread-eagled. I think I should be tied like Zach is now."

Emma: "I'd like to see Walt tied to a tree."

Michael: "We can do that next time."

Walt: "Emma, were you ever spread-eagled?"

Emma: "Sort of, when Danielle chained me to that bed frame. I wasn't as stretched out as much as you are now."

Bea: "I'm sure there will be more chances. Now I have to take pictures before you all escape. Smile please."

Bea takes her pictures. "Thank you. Now, escape!"

The kids struggle mightily. After four minutes, none of them has made a scintilla of progress.

Locke: "They're not going anywhere. Let's go back to the beach and party."

Michael: "That's the way to talk. So long, kids, see you in the morning."

Michael, Bea, and Locke go back to the beach.

Zach: "Looks like they're going to leave us here all night."

Emma: "I'm sure everybody saw that coming."

Walt: "Yeah, that's no surprise, and why this scene is being deleted. Emma, can you get over here and untie my hands?"

Emma: "And let you win? No way. If I get over there, you untie me first."

Walt: "And let you win? Forget it. I'm the special one; maybe I can make something happen."

Walt is too giddy to be angry and make anything happen, and the trio remains in place and talk randomly.

[End deleted scene.]

* * *

The grown-ups assemble on the beach.

Kate: "What are we going to do now?"

Boone: "We haven't played 'I Never' for a while."

Sawyer: "Didn't Hurley excuse himself last time?"

Hurley: "I'm … more confident now. Let's do this."

Sawyer: "How about you go first?"

Hurley: "All right. I never … was more sure of anything more than I want to spend the rest of my life with Libby."

Everyone else present: "Awwwwww."

Jack: "That isn't how the game is played."

Libby: "I don't care. Hurley, I feel the same way about you."

A shooting star streaks across the evening sky.

Danielle: "That must be a sign."

Claire: "This is so exciting. When will the big event happen?"

Libby: "We should wait until everybody is here."

Desmond: "That makes sense. If you want to use my boat on your honeymoon, you have to wait for Shannon and Sayid to be done with theirs."

Hurley: "Not a problem. In the meantime, let's all get a good night's rest so we can have a golf tournament tomorrow."

The good news makes everyone forget the "I Never" game and turn in for the night.


	73. The Little Chauffeur

The new day comes, with everyone on the island unaware the faint hissing sound is the continued emission of nitrous oxide into the atmosphere.

Hurley: "Ready for the big golf tournament?"

Kate: "How is this going to work again?"

Hurley: "We were each going to carry one club. There are fourteen of them."

Sun: "Why can't we share the clubs?"

Hurley: "Having fourteen people playing together would be too crowded. We can form foursomes like in regular courses."

Jack: "Wait, that won't work – fourteen is not a multiple of four."

Boone: "That sounds like something Sayid would say, or Daniel."

Jack: "But they're not here."

Naomi: "Of course Sayid and Shannon are on their honeymoon, but where is Daniel? I think I'm supposed to be responsible for my team."

Locke: "Um, we left him and Charlotte in a net yesterday, and they never came back."

Naomi: "I suppose we should get them back."

Locke: "I guess so."

Danielle: "Come on, John, it will give you another chance to demonstrate your knife-throwing ability."

Locke: "Whatever you say."

Hurley: "Great. Meet us on the first tee."

Locke, Danielle, and Naomi go off to retrieve Charlotte and Daniel. Soon they find them still in the net.

Naomi: "Haven't you two been up there long enough?"

Charlotte: "I don't think so."

Danielle: "But you've been up there a whole day, and someone else may want to use it."

Daniel: "I guess that sounds fair."

Danielle: "And Johnny wants to play one of his favorite games"

Locke grins. "Brace yourselves."

Locke throws a knife through the support rope, sending Charlotte and Daniel down in a heap. Like usual, the effects of the nitrous oxide keep them from experiencing pain.

Charlotte: "That was kind of a fun ride."

Locke: "You're welcome."

Daniel: "Should we reset the trap?"

Naomi: "Aren't there other traps around? There is an important golf tournament about to start and we want to include everybody."

Charlotte: "That sounds like fun. You should be good at it, Danny, it's all about physics and trajectories and stuff."

Daniel: "There's also a bit of muscular coordination involved, but so what? Something different will be physically and intellectually stimulating."

They all head to the golf course, and meet up with the large group assembled at the first tee.

Libby: "How do we pick the foursomes?"

Charlie: "How about whoever gets up there first goes first?"

Hurley: "Sounds as good as anything."

Alex: "I never played golf, so I don't mind sitting out."

Sawyer: "Come on, Alexandra the Great. You can be doing a great service by preventing someone else from coming in last."

Karl: "I'm quite capable of coming in last. I never played either."

Juliet: "I think there are several of us in that category."

Claire: "Aren't there more of us than golf clubs?"

Sun: "Each group could two or three clubs and share them."

Hurley: "Enough talking, let's get started. Who wants to go first?"

Jack: "I'm the leader, so I'll go."

The first group consists of Jack, Kate, Eko, and Ana-Lucia. The second has Sawyer, Juliet, Charlie, and Claire, who has to carry Aaron around. The third has Michael, Bea, Boone, and Cindy. Hurley is in the lucky fourth group with Libby, Naomi, and Frank. The fifth foursome is Jin, Sun, Rose, and Bernard. The sixth group has Locke, Danielle, Desmond, and Miles. The seventh and last group has Daniel, Charlotte, Karl, and Alex.

Jack: "It's amazing that worked out so evenly. Each group gets two clubs."

Hurley: "Sometimes the numbers work out perfectly."

* * *

Shannon and Sayid are enjoying another day of newly wedded bliss. In the middle of the day, they gaze over the island.

Sayid: "Looks like everyone is playing golf today."

Shannon: "Maybe we can try that after the honeymoon."

Sayid: "Sure. I was just thinking how odd it is that we can't communicate with our friends, even though they're within sight."

Shannon: "That is kind of funny. You'd think we could do something like send them a message in a bottle."

Sayid stares at Shannon. That's a brilliant idea! We'll write a message and stuff it in a bottle. We'll just have to wait for the tide to be right."

Shannon: "What will we put in the message?"

Sayid: "We should think about this since they'll be in a state of mind where they won't take most things seriously. It should be kept as simple as possible while being useful. Say put on a gas mask and turn on the radio."

Shannon: "Do they have gas masks?"

Sayid: "The crew from the freighter had some among their equipment. It's possible that group is behind this and something went wrong."

Shannon: "Are you going to interrogate them?"

Sayid: "I've been trying to kick that habit. It's been pretty hard to break, but I have been making progress."

Shannon: "It's okay if you have to. Especially if they're still under the influence of the gas, and you don't have to do anything objectionable."

Sayid: "You're so understanding – that's a big reason why I love you."

Shannon and Sayid embrace and forget about the message in the bottle as the sailboat drifts close enough to shore that they are affected by the nitrous oxide.

* * *

The golf tournament takes place, but under the influence of the laughing gas no one can concentrate very well. After a round that takes almost all day to play, Michael emerges the winner with an eighteen-hole score of 108.

Hurley: "Congratulations, Dude! You got some hidden talent no one knows about?"

Michael: "Naw, it was mostly luck. I don't know the difference between a mashie and a niblick."

Bea drapes herself over Michael. "In any case, that was very impressive."

Charlie: "How about a celebration?"

Michael: "That's not necessary, and tournaments normally last four rounds."

Sawyer: "Since when is anything here normal, Putterhead?"

Juliet: "My boyfriend is right. There are other things to do tomorrow, like backgammon and ping pong. Who wants to do the same thing every day? Sounds like a great reason for a party."

Kate: "Absolutely. And we can celebrate someone else for winning something else tomorrow."

Jack: "Partying is good for the mind."

Jin: "Party! See how much my English has improved?"

Cindy: "Now you need to learn the phrase, 'party animal'."

Claire: "It's such a beautiful day, why don't we have the party here?"

Sun: "Good idea – it's just that I have to be careful. I have to remember that I'm pregnant and should stay away from alcohol."

Desmond: "No problem. There are non-alcoholic alternatives in the hatch. Someone come help me get everything."

Hurley: "I like to be in charge of food distribution."

Libby: "You have such great organizational skills."

Desmond, Hurley, and Libby go to the hatch and get a generous supply of food and drink. Seeing the Edsel parked nearby, they drive back. Everyone has a good time, and afterward many couples sleep in tents on the beach.

* * *

Forgotten in Othersville, Ben and colleagues have a fascinating day perusing the words starting with "C" in the dictionary.

* * *

The next day finds Danielle and Locke waking up in Locke's tent on the beach.

Locke: "Good morning Danielle. What would you like to do today?"

Danielle: "I miss my old dump. I mean my bunker. Why don't we visit it and see if there's something worth saving?"

Locke: "Sounds as good as anything. Let's go."

Danielle and Locke head off to the northeast.

In another tent, Hurley and Libby wake up in Hurley's tent.

Hurley: "Did you have a good time yesterday?"

Libby: "Yes, that was great. But how about we do something different, just the two of us, today?"

Hurley: "Whatever you want. Do you have anything in mind?"

Libby: "How about going to some place different? Not the hatch, or where my section of the plane landed."

Hurley: "Great idea. Let's just eat first."

Hurley and Libby eat breakfast from food leftover from the night before, and go hiking toward the northeast.

* * *

Shannon and Sayid wake up in Desmond's sailboat after another wonderful night. Overnight they have drifted back far enough away from shore that the nitrous oxide has no effect.

Shannon: "That was wonderful."

Sayid: "You said it. I just get the feeling we forgot something."

Shannon: "That's funny, so do I. Say, what's that bottle over there?"

Sayid sees the bottle. "That's it! We were going to send a message in a bottle to the island. We must have been incapacitated last night."

Shannon: "I wouldn't say you were incapacitated. I don't think I was either."

Sayid: "I think I meant incapacitated in only some ways. Let's take care of this now. In their state of mind it may be best to make this sound like a game."

Sayid writes the message: "To whomever gets this, go to the hatch, put on a gas mask, and call the sailboat on the radio." He then puts a convenient cork into the bottle.

They go on the deck, and Sayid throws the bottle as far as he can toward the shore.

Sayid: "Now we just have to wait."

Shannon: "I can think of something to do while we wait."

* * *

An hour later, Sun see the bottle wash up on the beach.

Sun: "Oh look, a bottle."

Jin: "Does this have some deep significance?"

Juliet: "It means we can play 'Spin the Bottle' again."

Sawyer: "Again? Wasn't that 'Truth or Dare' last time, my Mint Julep?"

Boone: "I'm not sure there's a difference. Let's play … hey, there's a paper inside."

Kate: "A message in a bottle. How quaint."

Jack: "Give me that. I need to exhibit more leadership qualities."

Jack uncorks the bottle. "Oh look, it's a new game. Go to the hatch, put on a gas mask, and call the boat on the radio."

Desmond: "Do we even have gas masks?"

Boone: "Naomi had one. Her pack got ripped when she landed here by parachute."

Claire: "Why would you have to put on a gas mask?"

Sawyer: "To improve his looks."

Charlie: "But if he's on the radio, why would that matter?"

Jack: "Enough, I'm going. Does anyone want to come with me?"

Kate: "I'll come. I'd like to see you in a gas mask."

Sawyer: "I don't need that visual. Jules, how about a private swim in that pond from a couple days ago?"

Juliet: "I'd love that visual."

Sawyer and Juliet head off toward the pond to the north-northwest, and Jack and Kate take the bottle with the note to the hatch. Several other passengers remain on the beach.

Ana-Lucia: "Does this mean we're not playing 'Spin the Bottle'?"

Cindy: "Hey, there's always ping pong."

Eko: "And table tennis."

Rose: "What's the difference?"

Bernard: "I think that was just an excuse to give more characters a line today."

A ping pong or table tennis tournament gets under way.

* * *

Much later in the morning, Michael and Bea wake up in their tent. A stiff ocean breeze decreases the nitrous oxide concentrations for a short while.

Bea: "That was quite some day and night yesterday."

Michael: "It was, wasn't it? It was rather special, no annoying kids around …"

Bea: "Michael! The kids!"

Michael: "What kids?"

Bea: "You know, Walt, and Emma and Zach. In all the excitement yesterday, we forgot all about them."

Michael: "Oh right, those kids. What were they up to? Actually, it doesn't matter; they'll be fine on their own."

Bea: "We left them tied up in the jungle not far from here yesterday so they wouldn't bother the honeymooners. No, it was the day before yesterday. We should check up on them."

Michael: "Why am I having such a hard time remembering that?"

Bea: "The scene was deleted for stupidity and repetition. But the results of that scene may still be evident."

Michael yawns, and his head clears a little. "Of course you're right, let's go."

As Michael and Bea leave the beach, the nitrous concentration increases to the usual level. They go the twenty-three meters into the jungle, and find the kids just as they and Locke left them. Michael looks down on his son, tied spread-eagled on the ground to four trees.

Michael: "Hi Walt."

Walt: "Hi Dad. Hi Bea."

Emma and Zach: "Hi, Mr. D. Hi Bea."

Michael: "How are you feeling?"

Walt: "I'm okay, but weren't you supposed to untie us yesterday if we couldn't get loose?"

Michael coughs. "Um, yes. I'm afraid I got so wrapped up in the golf game that I forgot about you. Sorry about that."

Walt: "You mean you care more about golf than your only son?"

Michael: "No, I … uh …"

Zach, with his hands bound behind a tree and his ankles tied, asks: "The scene where we got tied up was deleted. Does that make a difference?"

Emma, still hogtied, rocks a little and cranes her neck. "Then how can we explain this? Do we have to make this another deleted scene?"

Bea: "It wasn't announced ahead of time, so that makes it difficult. We need some plausible explanation."

Zach: "You mean like Locke was playing one of his games with us?"

Emma: "And it kind of got out of hand?"

Bea: "Something like that would work."

Walt: "I don't want to get John in trouble. Why don't we say the smoke monster did this to us, but it couldn't be shown because the special effects budget is shot?"

Michael: "That's a wonderful idea, Walt. You're very thoughtful, and a great son. I insist on making this up to you, though. Do you have any ideas?"

Walt: "Are you going to untie us?"

Michael: "Since you were tied down for this long you may as well make it an even forty-two hours and earn another numerical accomplishment."

Bea: "Besides, while we were in the village we observed an increase in ratings when we talked to you while you were tied up, but I suppose this is carrying things too far."

Bea and Michael untie Emma, Zach, and Walt.

Bea: "All you all right, dears?"

Emma rotates her shoulders. "Yes. I don't feel any aches."

Zach: "Me too. I wonder why."

Bea: "All unusual things get attributed to this island, and then we don't have to worry about them any more."

Walt: "I'm fine too, like always. Hey, I got it! Dad, can you teach me to drive?"

Michael: "Do you have a learner's permit?"

Walt slaps his hip. "I must have left my wallet in my other loincloth."

Bea: "How about you if pass a written test?"

Walt: "What is it with you and all these tests?"

Bea: "It's fun testing you. Like, under what circumstances do you yield the right of way to another vehicle?"

Walt: "Isn't the Edsel the only vehicle on this island? Then I'll never have to yield the right of way to another vehicle."

Bea: "Sounds good to me. You pass."

Michael: "All right, let's go."

Zach: "Hey, I want to learn to drive too."

Emma: "You're not going to leave me out of this!"

Michael: "Only one can drive at a time, and Walt asked first. You two can sit in the back."

They go to the Edsel, which is parked near the hatch.

Bea: "Tell you what; it could get a little crowded, so I'll sit this one out. I can make a nice meal for when you return."

Michael: "All right. Let's go kids."

Walt jumps into the driver's seat, Michael gets in the front passenger seat, and Emma and Zach jump into the back.

Michael: "Okay Walt, you need to adjust the seat. Pull it up like this … good. Now buckle your seat belt. And you two, back there."

Walt: "These are strange seat belts. The top part is missing."

Michael: "Cars this old only had lap belts, if they had any. That's all you need anyway; shoulder belts are for sissies. I learned to drive just fine without them."

They all buckle up.

Walt: "What's next?"

Michael: "Adjust the mirrors so you can see clearly out the back."

Walt: "There isn't going to be any other traffic here, but okay … Yikes!"

Michael: "What is it?"

Emma: "He probably saw Zach's face in the mirror."

Walt: "That was an awesome guess."

Zach: "Hey! I'm going to get you for that. You too, Emma."

Michael: "Now settle down. We don't need backseat drivers. Now Walt, if you're ready, turn on the ignition."

Walt turns the key which has always been left in the ignition, and the Edsel roars to life.

Michael: "Now shift into drive. On Edsels the controls are on the steering wheel."

Walt does, and the Edsel roars into life.

Michael: "Go slowly at first; see how much you have to turn the wheel to turn the car."

Walt: "I get it; it's like a video game."

Michael: "It's a bit more complicated than that."

Walt drives around for a while, going past the Swan station, and then towards the northeast. Eventually the come up a hill, and then the car comes to a sudden stop.

Emma: "What was that?"

Michael: "I don't know. I'll have to get outside and look. Sounded like a wheel got stuck on something."

Michael unbuckles his seat belt, opens the door, and gets outside. A fallen tree is wedged behind the front right wheel and the wheel well.

Michael: "There's an old log here. I think I can pull it loose."

Michael struggles, and soon with a mighty effort, pulls the log free. He falls backward from the effort, and gets squirted with brake fluid, transmission fluid, engine coolant, and windshield washer fluid. Before Michael can recover and wipe all the fluids off his body, the car rolls downhill.

Michael: "Walt! Why aren't you on the brake?"

Walt: "I am! Maybe the brake line got cut."

Michael chases after the Edsel, and trips over a root. The car keeps rolling.

Zach: "I know, you're supposed to turn off the ignition!"

Zach jumps over the back of the front seat.

Emma: "But that will make it impossible to steer! You'll crash into that big tree!"

Emma jumps over the seat also. The kids fight over the steering wheel, and narrowly miss several trees and boulders. Then something is moving ahead.

Libby: "What's that noise?"

Hurley: "It sounds like the Edsel … look out!"

Hurley grabs Libby and leaps out of the path. They get tangled in vines. While they are disentangling themselves, Michael comes running by.

Michael: "Um, sorry about that. Runaway car."

Hurley: "Well, stop it!"

Michael keeps chasing the Edsel, when there are more hikers in the way.

Danielle: "Do you hear that?"

Locke: "Yes … watch out!"

Locke and Danielle dive off to the side of the trail as the car comes rumbling through. A few seconds later Michael comes racing by.

Michael: "We had some mechanical difficulties. Can you help?"

Locke: "I'll try. Come on, Danielle."

While Locke and Danielle are getting up, Hurley and Libby catch up. The group chases the Edsel which eventually fails to make a turn, crashes through some bushes, spins sideways, and comes to rest teetering on the brink of a crater. The crater has steep sides, is twenty-three meters in diameter and eight meters deep, and appears to be rather swampy at the bottom.

Michael: "Hurry, we have to save it!"

Hurley: "It? Don't you mean them?"

Michael: "I mean the Edsel – oh, yes, save the kids too. But they always turn out okay."

Locke: "We have to be careful; the center of gravity of the car is right on the edge of the cliff. If the kids come up out of there, they'll push the car in. But if the kids jump out the other side, the transfer of momentum should be enough to stabilize the car on the top. What is it going to be?"


	74. The Ecologist

The Edsel teeters on the edge of the cliff.

Michael: "I guess we should save the kids. All right you, come out of there, at the same time."

Walt, Emma and Zach jump out of the Edsel, which falls over the edge, bounces off the side of the crater, flips upside-down, and lands with a sploosh in the morass in the middle of the crater. It slowly sinks out of sight.

Michael: "I'm really sorry about your wheels, dude."

Hurley: "That's okay, Mike, you did the right thing."

Libby: "Can't we all pull the car out of there and clean it up?"

Michael: "I don't think all of us combined could pull that out of there."

Locke: "Actually, there is someone who might: Gussie!"

Walt: "Great idea! Uh, how can you get her here?"

Locke: "I made a dog whistle, so I can make a polar bear whistle. Or Vincent and Gussie might both come if I blow on a dog whistle."

Danielle: "I think you will still need more people to help pull the car out and guide it through the trees once it's on solid ground."

Locke: "I believe you're right. Let's go back and get some ropes, and I'll make the whistle."

Michael, Walt, Emma, Zach, Hurley, Libby, Locke, and Danielle head back to the hatch. Along the way, Locke takes one of his knives and fashions a whistle out of a piece of wood.

* * *

Jack and Kate reach the Swan Station with Shannon and Sayid's message in the bottle. Jack reads the message again.

Jack: "It says put on a gas mask and call the sailboat."

Kate: "This could be fun. Let's see if we can find any gas masks."

They find gas masks from Charlotte's and Daniel's supplies. They put on the masks.

Jack: "Okay, here goes. Hey, something feels different."

Kate: "Maybe it's because you look like a dork in that mask."

Jack: "That's not the most flattering Halloween costume for you, either."

Kate: "Doesn't it sound like we're talking different?"

Jack: "Yes … hey, let's do what this message says; maybe we'll find out more."

Jack turns on the radio and contacts the sailboat.

Shannon: "Hello?"

Jack: "Hello Shannon, it's Jack. Did you send us a message in a bottle?"

Shannon: "Yes, we did."

Kate: "Any reason why?"

Sayid: "We believe that the island's atmosphere has been infused with nitrous oxide. Do you have the gas masks on now?"

Jack: "Yes."

Sayid: "Do you notice anything different?"

Jack: "It does seem different, yes."

Shannon: "Now that you can think clearly, have you noticed our friends acting strange and irrationally?"

Kate: "Is acting irrationally real strange for this group of people?"

Shannon: "I guess not, but more so than usual?"

Jack: "Come to think about, it everyone has seemed very happy the last few days. No real arguments or fighting."

Sayid: "That's what I suspected. I believe the people from the freighter are behind this."

Jack: "But they're all under the influence and acting like everybody else."

Sayid: "Something must have gone wrong."

Kate: "Maybe the report of the orange smoke had something to do with it."

Shannon: "That does make sense."

Jack: "So now that we now about this, what are we going to do?"

Sayid: "I was thinking someone among you should remain in full possession of his or her mental faculties until the gas subsides."

Jack: "That sounds like a job for me, but there is one problem."

Shannon: "What's that?"

Jack: "I don't want to look like a dork all the time."

Shannon: "Can you take turns with Kate?"

Kate: "But then we would be under the influence at different times."

Sayid: "Then find someone else you trust to take shifts wearing the gas masks."

Jack: "The most trustworthy ones here, excluding me of course, have got to be Rose and Bernard."

Sayid: "Sounds like a plan. With two masks, one of you can trade one at a time, so the chain of awareness can go unbroken."

Kate: "Is there anything else to do? We all seem so happy; it would be a shame to spoil it."

Sayid: "I hadn't thought of that. It just seemed important for someone to be aware of the situation. Try to make sure nothing silly happens until the gas subsides."

Jack: "Any idea of when that will be?"

Shannon: "Until the joke gets too old? No more than a few days."

Jack: "All right, thanks for letting us know. Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon."

Shannon: "We will."

They terminate the radio call, and Jack and Kate seek out Rose and Bernard.

Jack: "Hi, we have some news for you."

Rose: "Let me guess: you found the island's dorkiest Halloween mask?"

Bernard: "I think you're a bit late for Halloween. But I have to agree with Rose."

Jack: "No, this won't make sense until you ... here, Kate, give Bernard your mask."

Kate: "Why don't give him yours?"

Jack: "Because I started this conversation, and I need mine to continue it. You can have mine later, and then you have to give it to Rose."

Kate sighs, and gives Bernard her mask and he puts it on.

Bernard: "Something's … different."

Jack: "The island has been overcome with nitrous oxide. It's probably coming in through every vent right now."

Rose: "You mean laughing gas? You must be joking."

Kate: "Ha ha, Jack is a joker."

Rose: "That sounds like a couple of playing cards. Is there a king and a queen?"

Jack: "See, that's what happens when ordinarily sensible people are under the influence."

Bernard: "I see what you mean. I thought something was familiar. It's been like some kid opened a nitrous container in my dentist's office."

Jack: "Right. Now I can't wear this mask all the time; it would be bad for my image as Rose has pointed out. So I want you to promise that you will wear these for a while, and then give them back to us when you're sick of wearing them yourselves. Also keep this a secret; only us and Shannon and Sayid know about this."

Bernard: "Why must this be a secret?"

Jack: "We haven't been keeping enough secrets, and we suspect the freighter crew is behind this. We mustn't let on that we suspect them of something."

Bernard: "Okay, I promise."

Rose: "This seems so far-fetched. Are you playing some sort of joke?"

Jack: "Here, take this and you'll understand."

Jack takes off his gas mask and gives it to Rose, who puts it on. Rose blinks, and becomes aware.

Rose: "Bernard! Jack was telling the truth. It all makes sense now."

Jack: "What makes sense now?"

Bernard: "Go have some fun, and you'll understand several hours from now when we give these back to you."

Jack: "Ooh, that sounds like a fun game."

Kate: "Come on Jack, let's go."

* * *

The group coming from the crater arrives at the hatch near sundown, where the rest of the passengers have returned and preparing for dinner.

Michael: "We have an unfortunate announcement to make."

Walt: "I kind of drove the Edsel into a swamp at the bottom of a crater."

Emma: "But Zach helped by getting in the way."

Zach: "So did you."

Jack: "What happened to you, Michael?"

Michael: "I stepped outside to free the car from a log or something Walt ran over, and then the kids took off. But the good news is we think we can pull it out and clean it up. We just need Gussie and lots of strong people."

Locke: "I believe this polar bear whistle will be effective. I just don't want to use it prematurely."

Michael: "So we'll go back tomorrow. Who wants to volunteer?"

Eko: "I think Ana-Lucia is the strongest one here."

Ana-Lucia: "Oh, you're being overly sweet, though you're probably right. But you should come also."

Eko: "It's a date."

Karl: "Can I suggest Alex?"

Alex: "That's a good suggestion too, but you're going to be involved "

Sun: "I'm pregnant, so I better not do this, but I'd love to watch Jin help."

Jin: "Anything for my precious mother-to-be."

Juliet: "Great idea. I'd love to see Sawyer work out. What do you say, Sweetie?"

Sawyer: "How can I refuse an invitation like that?"

Claire: "I have to take care of Aaron, but I'm sure Charlie wants to help. I'll watch him."

Charlie: "Certainly. I need to set a good example for Aaron."

Jack: "I have to be involved in any activity like this."

Kate: "You're not leaving me behind."

Jack: "That doesn't surprise anybody."

Boone: "I need to do something mildly heroic."

Desmond: "I've been out of the action for awhile."

Miles: "So have I."

Charlotte: "Come on Daniel, we have to do this."

Daniel: "I think Naomi is more qualified."

Naomi: "Thank you, but there's no reason we can't all go. Every little bit will help."

Frank: "I think I've healed enough to lend a hand, or will be by tomorrow."

Locke: "Sounds like we're in good shape. Oh, someone will have to push the computer button."

Jack: "We can let Rose and Bernard do that."

Locke: "Great: Let's have a good meal and get some rest; we'll need it for tomorrow."

They all have a good dinner. Then,

Bea: "Michael, what are we going to do about the kids? They were rather naughty."

Michael: "How about a time-out?"

Bea: "Okay."

Michael: "Hey kids, we decided you need a time-out, so you're spending the night in here."

Walt, Emma, and Zach walk into the bare room where Ben was held captive three weeks previously. Michael then locks the door.

Michael: "That's kind of ironic; that's the room from which I released Ben when you gave me that deal to release Walt."

Bea: "Wow, I'd forgotten about Ben. I guess that is mildly amusing. Now let's find a place for just the two of us."

* * *

Ben and company avidly continue poring through the Oxford English Dictionary, on this day acquiring intimate knowledge of words beginning with "D" and "E."

* * *

The new day comes. Michael and Bea let the kids out of the cell, everyone has a good breakfast, and then the large group heads toward the crater where the Edsel is submerged. Along the way a new sound is heard.

Kate: "What is that noise?"

Sun: "It sounds like something singing … some kind of animal."

Boone: "Can you tell where it's coming from?"

Juliet: "I think it's low, near the ground."

Sawyer is ambling along quietly, when his senses are alerted. "Watch out, Hurley!"

Sawyer sprints toward Hurley and tackles him just before his foot comes down. They crash off to the side of the trail.

Hurley: "What did you do that for, dude?"

Sawyer: "There wasn't enough time to think up another nickname for you. But now that I have a second, you should watch where you're stepping, Sir Hugonaut."

Hurley: "I meant, why did you tackle me?"

Sawyer gets to his feet, finds what he is looking for on the ground, and picks it up.

Sawyer: "You almost stepped on this sweet, innocent tree frog."

Sawyer displays the tiny tree frog in the palm of his hand.

Juliet: "That was fantastic, Sawyer! You're my hero!"

Juliet hugs Sawyer, careful not to hurt the tree frog.

Emma: "What are you going to do with it?"

Zach: "Can you keep it as a pet?"

Sawyer: "I imagine it has family here that would miss it. Let's return it to the wild."

Sawyer places the tree frog on a branch a short distance from the trail.

Juliet: "That was beautiful, Sawyer. I didn't know you were so into ecology."

Sawyer: "I'm quite a complex guy."

Hurley: "Thanks loads, dude. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I killed an innocent creature that couldn't be used for food or something like that."

Sawyer: "Think nothing of it, Hugoid. You would have done the same for me."

A little while later, the group is approaching the crater.

Locke: "Time to test the whistle."

Locke blows the whistle, and Gussie and Vincent come running.

Danielle: "John, you are a genius. Who else would think of a polar bear whistle?"

Locke: "I am pretty brilliant."

Vincent runs over to the kids, who pet him.

Walt: "Hi Vincent! Where have you been?"

Vincent barks.

Walt: "I'm glad you got to run around free. I got to spend the night locked in a little room with these two, and at least one of them snores."

Zach: "It must have been Emma."

Emma: "No, I heard both of you snoring."

Michael: "Enough, we have business to attend to."

Cindy: "How are we going to attach the ropes to the car?"

Locke: "Clearly we have to lower someone down there, and they'll tie the ropes we lower them down on onto the car."

Kate: "So who's going to go down there?"

Sawyer: "I think it should be those responsible for putting the car down there."

Eko: "Perhaps it should be volunteers?"

Zach: "I nominate Emma."

Emma: "I nominate Walt."

Walt: "I nominate Zach."

Ana-Lucia: "Are there any more nominations?"

Nobody says anything.

Locke: "Good that's settled. Let's get this show on the road."

Locke, Michael, and Bea tie ropes around Zach's, Walt's, and Emma's waists.

Jack: "If the Edsel sank in that pit, won't the kids also?"

Locke: "Some, but not too much. The density of the vehicle is a bit greater than the mud, while that of human beings is quite a bit less. As long as the kids aren't carrying anything heavy, they'll be fine."

Walt: "Also, we can crawl along the surface, and distribute our body weights over a wide area so we don't sink much."

Michael: "Besides, if they do sink up to their necks we'll pull them out immediately."

Jack: "I guess there's nothing wrong with that plan."

They proceed with the plan. The children are lowered carefully into the eight-meter deep crater. When they reach the bottom, they crawl toward the center. Walt reaches down into the mud and hits metal.

Walt: "The Edsel's right here! Maybe half a meter down."

Locke: "Great! Now find an axle, and attach your ropes to it."

The kids crawl around until they find the front axle. They untie the ropes from their waists and groping in the mud, manage to tie them around the axles. When the axle is secure, Locke ties one of the ropes around Gussie, and then everyone else on solid ground grabs the other two ropes.

Michael: "Now hang on down there, and everybody pull!"

The muddy kids each hang onto a rope as the Edsel is slowly pulled out of the muck. The front tires break free from under the surface, and then more and more of the upside-down classic auto. It is about fifteen-sixteenths of the way out when it proves too heavy.

Locke: "Can you kids help push the rear end of the car up? We almost have it."

Walt, Emma, and Zach crawl down the underside of the inverted car.

Emma: "Johnny, you mean you want us to step off into the mud? If we push up, then we'll sink down."

Locke: "Of course. But I think there's a good chance you can help get the car out before you sink too far."

Michael: "I think I need to be responsible here. If you sink up to your necks, stop pushing, hang on, and we'll have to think of something else."

Walt: "Sounds fair." Walt steps off the back at the center of the car and sinks up to his knees.

Emma: "I'd thought you'd sink deeper than that."

Walt: "That's because I held still."

Emma: "Can you show me what happens if you struggle?"

Walt can't refuse the suggestion, and stomps his feet, sinking to his waist.

Walt: "That's about it. I won't sink deeper without carrying something heavy."

Sawyer shouts: "Will you Mudrats stop playing around and push the car up?"

Emma and Zach step into the morass at the rear corners of the car, on opposite sides of Walt. At first they also sink to their knees. Then the three get a grip on the rear bumper, and push. Emma and Zach quickly catch up to Walt, sinking to their waists, but the car does move a little. With everyone else pulling from the top, the Edsel slowly rises as the kids slowly are driven deeper into the mud. Then when they are up to their armpits, the car suddenly breaks free. It swings away from the kids, hitting the side of the crater, and then with Gussie leading the way, the car is dragged up the side, over the edge, and onto solid ground. There is much cheering.

Hurley: "Great job, everybody! I really appreciate this."

Locke: "We're not done yet. We have to move this to where we can clean it up and get it running again."

Jack: "It's great that we're all working on this together. It solidifies our community."

Dragging the Edsel up the hill and then back through the woods to the hatch is arduous, but it is accomplished shortly before nightfall. Gussie and Vincent receive adulations, and then run off together.

Desmond: "There are a variety of cleaning products in the hatch."

Kate: "Who's going to do the cleaning?"

Sawyer: "It should be the ones who got the car dirty in the first place."

Juliet: "Oh Sawyer, you'd make a wonderful parent."

Michael: "Sawyer is right. Walt, get over here! Hey, where are you?"

Bea: "I think we left the kids in the pit."

Michael: "I keep forgetting about them. It's too late to get retrieve them today, so they can stay there tonight. At least they won't bother Shannon and Sayid."

Sawyer: "They got what they deserved."

Charlie: "Right-o, and we can have another party to celebrate the rescue of the Edsel."

The islanders spend another night partying into the wee hours.


	75. The Nitrous Oxide End

The new day comes, and the Oceanics eventually stagger to their feet, recovering from their party the previous night.

Charlie: "Wow, that was another blast. I wonder how long we can keep it up?"

Boone: "I'm willing to participate in a scientific experiment."

Jack: "Hey, I'm the man of science here."

Claire: "Won't it be useful to have lots of participants?"

Eko: "Makes sense to me."

Ana-Lucia: "The more the merrier."

Sun: "Should we have an excuse to celebrate?"

Sawyer: "That doesn't seem all that necessary."

Jin: "It still might be nice to have a reason for variety's sake."

Cindy: "What were we celebrating last night?"

There is a pause.

Hurley: "I remember! It was the rescue of the Edsel."

Libby: "Oh yes. Let's have a look at it."

They all go outside.

Desmond: "Rather dirty, isn't it?"

Kate: "That's because those who got it dirty and are supposed to clean it aren't here."

Michael: "I can take a hint. I know I forgot and left the kids in that crater pit yesterday. I'll go get them. Anyone want to come along?"

Bea: "I'll go anywhere with you."

No one else wants to come along.

Michael: "Fine. I'll just bring these ropes we used to pull the car here."

Jack: "There's an excuse for you. We needed the ropes to pull the Edsel, so we couldn't also use them to pull out the kids."

Michael: "Thanks Jack, you're a real help. And I'm sure you'll want to examine them once we get back."

Jack: "I suppose, but what's the point? They're always okay. Just be sure to have them clean up first."

Michael and Bea head off for the crater, carrying some cleaning products, which they drop off at the Edsel, and some buckets, which they drop off at the stream near the caves along the way.

* * *

Bernard and Rose, wearing the gas masks, locate Jack.

Bernard: "We have something to tell you."

Jack: "I'm sure I've seen my dentist within the past six months."

Bernard: "No, that isn't it. Go ahead, Rose, I can talk to him."

Rose: "I want to get a word in. We're going on strike."

Rose hands Jack her mask, and Jack looks puzzled at Bernard.

Jack: "What are you talking about?"

Bernard: "We've had enough of being thrust into the background, and want to have more fun and action. Put on that mask so you'll understand."

Jack: "Is this a game? I like games."

Jack puts on the mask.

Bernard: "I repeat, Rose and I have had enough of this. Find someone to stay in the background all the time."

Jack: "What … oh yes, the laughing gas. But we need you."

Bernard: "No you don't. Come on Rose, we're going to have some fun."

Bernard rips off his mask and thrusts it at Jack. Quickly, he takes Rose's arm.

Jack panics, and finds Kate. "Here, put this on."

Kate: "Are you inviting me to a costume ball?"

Jack: "Er, sure."

Kate puts on the gas mask, and remembers what is going on.

Kate: "I guess there really isn't a costume ball."

Jack: "Maybe some other time. We have a problem. Rose and Bernard quit to go have some more action and fun."

Kate: "That doesn't sound like such a bad idea."

Jack: "But someone has to keep control."

Kate: "Is it really that important?"

Jack: "Yes. Now if we can't get someone else, you and I will have to take individual twelve-hour shifts."

Kate: "That doesn't sound so great for us. Do we have to do this?"

Jack: "Pleeeeeeease?"

Kate gets an idea. "All right, I haven't worn a mask in a while, so I'll take a shift now."

Jack: "Okay."

Jack takes off his mask, and forgets what he was so concerned about.

Kate: "Now wait a minute, I have to make a call."

Kate calls the sailboat. "Hello?"

Sayid: "Hello, what is it?"

Kate: "This business about some of us always being alert isn't working. Rose and Bernard went on strike, and Jack is becoming a grump."

Shannon: "Our honeymoon would be more pleasant if we didn't have to check in with you all the time."

Sayid: "It's not all the time, more like once a day, but maybe you're right."

Kate: "We were all having a good time before we found out about the gas. It's bound to stop coming eventually, and you can worry about making sure we're all okay then. And if it never stops, we'll all live happily ever after."

Shannon: "That's very impressive logic."

Sayid: "But … okay, it was a bad idea. So Kate, what do you plan to do?"

Kate: "I'll hide the gas masks and get Jack away from here, and we'll have more happy times, at least for a while, and maybe a long while."

Shannon: "I say go for it."

Sayid: "Fine. We'll see you once the nitrous subsides."

They hang up, and Kate goes to a closet, holds her breath, and flings her gas mask onto a top shelf. She quickly goes over to Jack, and suggests, "Let's go for a walk on the beach."

Jack: "Sounds like fun. What was that you were talking to back there?"

Kate: "Wrong number."

Jack and Kate leave, and then Kate lets go of her breath. They go for a nice stroll and forget all about the contaminated atmosphere.

* * *

Michael and Bea reach the crater. The children are still stuck up to their armpits in the muck at the bottom, and their heads are quite covered in mud as well.

Michael: "Hi there. Sorry about leaving you stuck down there all night."

Walt: "Why are you apologizing? This is fun."

Emma: "Yeah, it felt funny at first, and then it felt real good. It wasn't fair that only Walt and Zach got to play in the mud before." Emma scoops up some mud and flings it at Walt and Zach, and they retaliate in kind.

Zach: "Our mother never let us play in the mud like this. You're cool, Bea and Mr. D." Zach throws another handful of mud at Walt's head, and gets another handful in return.

Michael: "I'm glad you're not upset, but we have a job for you."

Walt: "Can't we play here a little longer?"

Bea: "Aren't you getting hungry?"

Emma: "I suppose so."

Zach: "Guess we forgot we need to eat."

Michael: "How's this for a deal? We'll pull you out; you wash up, eat, and then clean the car you messed up. When you're done with all that, you can come back and play here some other time."

The kids look at each other, and nod in agreement.

Walt: "Sounds fair to us."

Michael: "Okay, now catch these ropes and hang on."

Bea: "Just a minute. I need to get more pictures. Now smile."

Bea produces her camera and takes several pictures of the muddy kids smiling and posing, flexing their arms. Then she and Michael toss down the ropes, and pull the kids up and out of the pit.

They hike back toward the Swan station, stopping at the streams near the caves.

Michael: "Now wash up in there and when you're clean, come out and wash the car, inside and out. You can carry water there in these buckets."

Bea: "Here, you'll need this."

Bea tosses three bottles of Dharpa brand bubble bath she has been carrying to the kids.

Michael and Bea leave for a walk to themselves, while Walt, Emma and Zach jump in the stream. By pouring the bottles near where the water is cascading over some rocks, a large quantity of thick soap bubbles forms. While the water is about waist-deep, soon the bubbles rise to their necks.

Emma: "Should we get out now?"

Zach: "Mr. D. and Bea told us to get clean. We might get in trouble if we do."

Emma: "Walt, break the tie. What do you think?"

Walt: "Uhh …"

While Walt thinks, the bubbles rise high over his and the siblings' heads. They thrash about creating air space for eight minutes until the bubbles subside. When they do, the kids are remarkably clean.

Zach: "I told you we should stay in here."

The kids then fill the buckets with water, and hike toward the Swan station, where they see the Edsel along with many cleaning supplies. They get to work and within a couple hours, or 108 minutes to be precise, the car looks as good as new.

* * *

Everyone reassembles near the hatch as the sun sets.

Michael: "Hey Jack, the kids the here for their checkups."

Jack: "They look fine. Kids, how do you feel?"

Zach: "Great!"

Emma: "Me too."

Walt: "Me three."

Jack: "Good, that completes the checkup."

Sun: "Wasn't that awfully quick? Maybe you should get a second opinion."

Juliet: "Spending a day in the mud is good for those kids. Rest assured, they're fine."

Zach: "Can we go back there now?"

Michael: "It's a little late for that today. How about we bury you on the beach after dinner instead?"

Emma: "Neat, I haven't been buried in the sand yet."

Walt: "You've been missing out on a lot."

Hurley: "Hey, you mentioned dinner, so let's eat."

There is a fine meal, followed by a party celebrating the restoration of the Edsel once the kids are buried to their necks on the beach.

* * *

The islanders continue their Utopian existence.. There is lots of game playing and parties, and long walks among several couples, including Claire and Charlie, Sun and Jin, Rose and Bernard, Libby and Hurley, Juliet and Sawyer, Locke and Danielle, Alex and Karl, Michael and Bea, Ana-Lucia and Eko, Cindy and Boone, Charlotte and Daniel, and Vincent and Gussie. The Others, led by Ben, merrily work their way through the Oxford English Dictionary. Locke and Danielle remember that they were heading for Danielle's bunker before they were interrupted by the runaway Edsel, and spend a few nights there alone. Then they collect a few items as souvenirs before returning to the Swan Station, since Danielle's bunker is a dump compared to the hatch.

Around noon eight days after the Edsel is recovered, and fifteen days after the explosion of the Tempest, the nitrous oxide emissions stop. The islanders are scattered mainly between the beach and the Swan Station, and are having difficulty getting their bearings. Shannon and Sayid quickly sail in to shore and disembark.

Sayid: "Hey everyone, are you aware of what happened?"

Charlie: "Not really. It felt kind of like everyone was on drugs."

Sayid: "That is actually fairly accurate. The island was subjected to nitrous oxide emissions for the past fifteen days."

Claire: "Nitrous … will that affect Aaron?"

Sayid: "No, the concentrations were too low to do any damage. It was just enough to keep everyone happy and not really aware of the consequences of their actions."

Shannon: "Do you remember what you did these last two weeks?"

Eko: "Yes, I believe I do. I was happy and spent a lot of time with Ana-Lucia."

Ana-Lucia: "It was the most wonderful two weeks of my life. Does it really have to stop?"

Sayid: "Well, the gas-induced state has to stop, but if you two feel about each other the way Shannon and I do, there's no reason for that to stop."

Sun: "They make such a lovely couple."

Jin: "Like us."

Boone: "So what are the plans now?"

Sayid: "We go back to what we were doing before the gas attack. We get the instructions for the submarine, and leave for that tomorrow."

Hurley: "We should tell everybody then. If we go to the hatch we should find them all."

They proceed on the trail to the hatch. Soon they encounter Walt, Emma, and Zach, each of whom has their hands tied together high over their heads to a tree branch, and their feet tied together to a tree root. Despite their obvious struggles to escape, everyone but Sayid and Shannon pass by as if nothing is out of the ordinary.

Shannon: "Wait a minute, what's wrong with you? The children are tied up and you're ignoring them?"

Jin: "We always do. That's Michael's and Bea's responsibility."

Shannon: "What? Why are they tied?"

Walt: "Shannon, don't you remember? You asked my Dad to so that I wouldn't mess up your honeymoon, and Emma and Zach should be treated the same way."

Shannon: "Oh … that's right. I'm so sorry; I was under the influence of that gas."

Zach: "It's all right; it was fun trying to escape."

Emma: "Even if we never could."

Sayid: "So you've been restrained every night since our wedding? Why didn't Michael release you this morning?"

Walt: "Actually, it hasn't been every night. Sometimes Dad and Bea forgot. But yesterday we all beat Dad in golf, and then he remembered. But it looks like he forgot about us today."

Shannon: "Oh, well, I'm glad it wasn't every day. And thank you for helping keep our honeymoon wonderful. Now let's get you untied, you've got to get ready for a submarine ride."

Shannon, Sayid, and Boone untie the kids, and everybody makes it to the Swan Station.

With almost everyone assembled, Sayid speaks. "I guess you know by now we've been overcome by nitrous oxide for two weeks. But now that we're alert, we've got to make preparations to take the submarine out of here."

Jack: "There's enough room for everyone who wants to come."

Rose: "I think this island healed me, so I don't want to leave."

Bernard: "I'm staying with Rose no matter what."

Naomi: "We should try to contract our freighter, and get back to them somehow."

Sayid: "All right then. Those remaining will still have to take care of pushing the buttons."

Jack: "Speaking of that, isn't it about time we got that blast door fixed? It's silly to have to roll under that door all the time."

Sayid: "I remember now – I was working on it when the laughing gas came in through all the vents."

Michael: "Let me give you a hand. I may have to get used to doing construction work again."

Sayid and Michael climb up through a grate in the ceiling. After a little while, there is an announcement.

Sayid: "I think we've got it. Here goes."

Sayid connects two wires, and the blast door slowly ascends into a space in the ceiling.

Shannon: "You're so wonderful."

Hurley: "It's a relief that we'll be able to keep on pushing the button easily."

Locke and Danielle suddenly enter after one of their long walks.

Locke: "No! It's not a relief; it's a curse! I remember now, Eko and I saw this from the Pearl! The Swan is all a lie! It's an experiment to see just how dumb the people who stay here and mindlessly push those buttons can be!"

Eko: "Calm down, John. We don't have proof."

Jack: "Yes John, how do you know the experiment wasn't on the people in the Pearl Station?"

Locke: "I can sense it from the island."

The beeper goes off, signifying that there are four minutes left.

Desmond: "Is someone going to push the buttons?"

Locke: "I'll do it."

Locke deliberately enters 4, 8, 15, 15, 23, 41, and then the execute button.

Jack: "Locke, did you push the wrong buttons?"

With three minutes left, Locke answers, I definitely pushed the right buttons."

Kate: "Then why is the timer still counting down?"

Locke: "It was meant to be."

Sawyer: "Ol' Lockesmith has gone barmy. Let me push the buttons."

Locke brandishes two of his many knives. He has many more in reserve. "Back off!"

Jack: "John, what are you doing? Step away from the computer."

Locke: "No, you step away!"

Everyone is stunned as Locke menacingly wields his knives. The time ticks down to two minutes.

Sayid: "We have to rush him. Some of us may not make it, but it will be for the greater good."

Eko wields his long-forgotten Jacob stick. "Please John, you don't want to do this. We can't be sure."

Locke: "You're trying to distract me. It won't work."

Locke stabs the keyboard with one knife, and throws the other into the terminal screen, causing sparks to fly. As Sayid, Sawyer, and Eko rush at Locke, he pulls out another knife and cuts the power cable and the cable connecting the computer to the countdown time. There is one minute left when Eko and Sawyer manage to hold Locke against a wall.

Jack: "Sayid, can you fix it?"

Sayid looks at the damaged computer. He pushes some buttons, but nothing appears on the broken screen.

Sayid: "It's hopeless. I can't do anything in one minute. Daniel, you're the computer genius, can you help?"

Daniel: "The power's been cut. We'd have to reconnect all the wires, replace the keyboard, … Sayid is right."

Michael: "Walt can you do something special?"

Walt: "I … don't know what to do. I might cause a natural disaster that will make it worse."

Bea: "Besides, we think all the numbers in the Vermicelli Equation are correct now. It would be a shame to doom humanity by changing at least one of them back to a wrong value."

Juliet: "I have to agree with Bea. It wouldn't be right for all his travails to be for nought."

Miles: "How about we all run away?"

Frank: "Good idea."

Desmond: "You won't be able to get far enough away if the hatch blows. But … wait, there is something in case of disaster – a failsafe key. I hope it words if we need it."

The counter counts down the last ten seconds in a deafening tone. Desmond finds the failsafe key in a book on a shelf, and the timer counts down to all zeros. Then the dials spin to strange red figures. The lights flicker as Desmond opens a manhole cover and climbs down. There is a loud rumble, and then an eerie silence as everyone holds their breath.


	76. Penny for Desmond's Thoughts

Author's note: The author apologizes for announcing the previous chapter as Chapter 76 when it was really 75, in case anyone is keeping track. This is the correct Chapter 76.

* * *

Metal objects start flying around in the hatch, when Desmond is successful is turning the failsafe key in its lock. Outdoors, there is a tremendous roar and a blinding flash of green light. The metal crashes to the floor as a result of the magnetic field that had been generated shuts down. For a moment everything is dark and quiet, and then the silence in the Swan Station is broken by a firework shooting across the computer room. It is followed by another rocket, and then another. Soon the place is filled with fireworks, trailing sparks behind them. Other rooms in the hatch are also showered with flying fireworks.

Hurley: "Duuuude."

Charlie: "Colors, man."

Locke: "It's beautiful!"

Then one of the rockets hits Locke's boarskin vest, causing it to catch fire.

Boone: "I'll save you!"

With the rooms rather well lit due to the plethora of fireworks, Boone is able to see a Dharpa brand fire extinguisher on the wall. He grabs it and aims it at Locke. "Hold still!"

Locke: "No, I can slide it off …." Locke slips out of the vest, but Boone hits Locke with the fire extinguisher foam instead of the flaming vest.

Shannon: "You missed."

Boone takes aim again, and this time hits the vest on the floor. However, the valve sticks in the open position, and the highly concentrated foam spews forth, covering the floor to a depth of one meter before it runs out.

Jack: "Maybe it would be a good time to get out of here."

Then several ceiling grates open and balloons fall into every room in the hatch. Dozens, hundreds, and then thousands of balloons descend, filling every room from floor to ceiling.

Zach: "Wheee! This is fun!"

Emma: "Zach is right for a change."

Jack: "Fine, have a little fun, but we have to be leaving."

Desmond: "Wait, I have to get something."

Desmond searches a bookshelf, which is hard with all the balloons in the way, but he finds what he is looking for.

Jack: "What is that?"

Desmond: "It's a photograph of me and my love, whom I was trying to impress on my around-the-world race. Her name is Penny Widmore."

* * *

Mathias and Henrik are playing Connect Four on a listening station in Antarctica when a piercing noise emanates from a nearby computer.

Mathias: "Can that actually be an electromagnetic anomaly?"

Henrik: "It does appear so. I can't believe this. You know what this means?"

Mathias: "We have to contact Miss Penelope immediately."

Henrik: "Yes. It looks like all the months we spent here will be worth it."

They call Penny Widmore, who is sleeping due to being in a totally different time zone in her posh London flat.

Penny: "What? Who is calling at this hour?"

Mathias: "It's Mathias."

Penny: "Who?"

Mathias: "Mathias, remember? You hired me and Henrik to listen for an electromagnetic anomaly."

Henrik: "Maybe she doesn't understand your accent."

Mathias: "We come from the same place; your accent isn't any different from mine."

Penny gains her senses. "Desmond! Where is he?"

Henrik: "The location of the anomaly is four degrees south latitude, one hundred seventy-six degrees east longitude."

Penny: "Thanks, I'll get there as soon as I can."

Mathias: "Be careful. There have been some reports of strange atmospheric readings in that area."

Henrik: "Good luck."

They hang up. Henrik and Mathias go back to their game of Connect Four.

Mathias: "So is that it for us?"

Henrik: "Maybe, unless there's another electromagnetic anomaly."

* * *

Penny calls the man her father, Charles Widmore, has hired to get her places she needs to be.

Penny: "Abaddon?"

Matthew Abaddon: "Ms. Widmore? Isn't this an unusual hour to call?"

Penny: "Yes, but it can't be helped. I need to get somewhere, and you're my Daddy's employee who's the expert in getting people where they need to be."

Abaddon: "You have to go somewhere now?"

Penny: "Yes. I don't know how long the window will be open."

Abaddon: "What window? Where are you going?"

Penny: "I have to get to four degrees south latitude, one hundred seventy-six degrees east longitude. I think Desmond is there."

Abaddon: "That's on the other side of the world from here."

Penny: "I know that. That's why we have to get started quickly. You need to drive me to Daddy's airport."

Abaddon: "Do you expect to get a pilot at this hour?"

Penny: "Daddy is an industrial genius. He has airplanes that practically fly themselves. I'm sure we can figure it out."

Abaddon: "All right, whatever you say. I'll pick you up in half an hour."

Penny packs quickly, but remembers to bring along a picture of her and Desmond. Abaddon arrives, and drives her to a private airfield. They board a small plane with a large fuel capacity.

Penny: "See here? You push this button, and this screen displays a video on what we have to do. The computer automatic pilot does just about all the work."

Abaddon: "At least there are parachutes if necessary."

Penny: "I may have to parachute in. We'll see when we get there."

Penny and Abaddon take off on a very long trip.

* * *

The large group has assembled outside the hatch.

Sayid: "Good thing I remembered to save the submarine instructions. I think it will be most efficient if we take the sailboat to the submarine."

Hurley: "With the Edsel repaired, we can take that down to the beach to save time."

Walt: "Can I drive?"

Everyone else: "NO!"

Sawyer: "After what you did to the car, you can walk."

Juliet: "Can you be a little nicer?"

Sawyer: "Okay, you can ride in the trunk."

Zach: "Neat! Can I ride in there too?"

Emma: "Wasn't there some cartoon about a kid always hiding in a race car trunk?"

Michael: "Fine, get in."

The kids climb in the trunk, and Michael happily closes it.

Hurley: "I think we'll need to make two trips."

Half the adults climb on, and Hurley drives them to the beach. Then he drives back to the hatch, and picks up the remaining ones. Jack remembers to open the trunk and let the kids out.

Jack: "Michael, you forgot to let the children out after the first trip. They went here and back and here again in the trunk."

Michael: "Actually, I didn't forget."

Bea: "Michael, you make such a wonderful father."

Vincent makes a random appearance.

Walt: "Vincent, I'm sorry you can't come on the submarine. It might be a long trip, and I don't think there's any dog food and there's no good place to take you for walks."

Vincent: "Arf!"

Walt: "You understand? Good. Rose and Bernard, I like to leave Vincent in your care. Will you?"

Bernard: "That will be easy; he's always running off and playing with his polar bear friend anyway."

Rose: "Of course we will, and we'll give him back when you return with more suitable transportation."

Everyone present except Rose and Bernard gets on the sailboat, and it departs. Walt looks concerned.

Michael: "What is it?"

Walt: "I'm afraid Vincent is going to swim after me."

Vincent looks at Walt floating away, yawns, scratches his ear, and trots back into the jungle to find Gussie.

Michael: "Vincent took that rather well."

* * *

Back at the Swan, the freighter crew gets a chance to contact the freighter.

Naomi: "Captain Gault? Are you there?"

Gault: "Naomi! What has been going on there?"

Naomi: "Something went wrong. The nitrous oxide overwhelmed us."

Daniel: "We couldn't wear our gas masks indefinitely."

Charlotte: "I'm afraid we took them off in order to eat and drink."

Frank: "Same thing happened here at the Swan Station. Which reminds me, John Locke let the numbers run down."

Daniel: "I believe there was an enormous electromagnetic discharge."

Charlotte: "Also this place is now a mess."

Miles: "What happened to Keamy and his crew?"

Gault: "We found them drifting in the Kodiak two week ago, babbling incoherently. Something about orange smoke."

Naomi: "Also, most of the Oceanics are on a sailboat heading for a submarine to get away from here. What do you want us to do now?"

Gault: "It's up to you to complete the mission and bring Benjamin Linus to justice. Charles Widmore is still paying us."

Daniel: "Do you have a plan?"

Gault: "You're supposed to be smart. You all think of something."

* * *

The laughing gas continues a little while longer around Othersville before it stops.

Ben: "Zymurgy. What a cool word. Hey, what's going on?"

The Others gradually recover.

Ethan: "I think we've been reading the dictionary for … how long has it been?"

Ben: "Let me check … just over two weeks."

Tom: "Good thing we finished that. Can I choose the next book we read at the Book Club?"

Ben: "Sure. But now we have to remember what we were doing before this gas attack?"

Goodwin: "Something about the submarine, wasn't it?"

Ben: "Right. The Oceanics want to leave this island by the sub."

Ethan: "We can't let that happen."

Ben: "I promised Jack they could use the sub in return for the operation he performed on me. But I didn't promise they would get away."

Tom: "What do you have in mind?"

Ben: "We make a slight adjustment in the navigation system. Change a compass setting to be off by one degree, so that when they think they're traveling in a straight line, they'll actually be going in a large circle."

Mikhail: "I can do that, calibrating some instruments so that they are a little bit off. Underwater, they won't be able to get their bearings easily."

Ben: "Also, I want the video surveillance fully functional. We can use some entertainment. Also, I plan to experiment with a personality-altering device."

Ethan: "How does that work?"

Ben: "As the subjects enter the submarine, they will hear messages from a mysterious synthetic voice. If it works, we may get to witness some interesting behavior. All in the name of science, of course. And I have one other idea to spice things up. Kate deserves better clothing. I'm going to give her a little present."

Ben goes off to another room, and returns with a small box with a card attached, reading "To Kate, from Your Secret Admirer."

Tom: "You have such a way with the ladies."

Ben: "Thank you. Now Mikhail and Goodwin, set up the submarine before the Oceanics get there. We should have one day."

Mikhail and Goodwin leave with the necessary equipment and gift. They reach the submarine and set everything up just before nightfall. Then they return to Othersville.

* * *

Night falls for the group on the sailboat, and they make it to the submarine around noon the next day. As they enter, a hypnotic voice, which comes from Ben's voice through a synthesizer, issues commands they hear mostly one at a time and feel compelled to obey.

"Kate Austen – you are an opera singer. You feel compelled to demonstrate your talent at every opportunity."

"Sawyer – you are a hard core nerd. You are a magnificent source of scientific information and feel it is your duty to disseminate your knowledge whenever possible."

"Shannon Rutherford – you are a master chef. The things you enjoy the most are cooking, eating, and insulting your brother."

"Boone Carlyle – You are a master mechanic. You love fixing things and trading insults with your sister."

"Sayid Jarrah – you are an incorrigible gossip. You observe everything, and are sure everyone wants to hear what you have to say."

"Hurley – you have an overpowering desire to make everything you see neat and tidy. You must clean things up to the point of an obsessive compulsion."

"Libby Franklin – You sense that there are extraterrestrial aliens all around. The only ones you are sure are not aliens are Hurley and Walt."

"Charlie Pace – you are a narc. It is your duty to see that no illegal drugs are floating about anywhere, and nobody is above suspicion."

"Claire Littleton – you are a bounty hunter. You must find wrongdoers and bring them in for rewards so you can provide for your baby."

"Jin Kwon – you are a brilliant doctor. Unfortunately, you can only speak Korean, and must rely on Sun to interpret for you."

"Sun Kwon – besides being your husband's interpreter, you are a beautician. If someone needs a makeover, such as Bea Klugh, you will make sure it happens."

"Michael Dawson – you are cheerful, friendly and easy-going except when it comes to Walt, whom you can't stand and wish there was some way of getting rid of him that wouldn't get you in trouble."

"Walt Lloyd – more than anything else you love to annoy Michael. You also believe you are the captain of the submarine."

"Jack Shephard – you don't believe in science at all. And you are a bit of a dope."

"John Locke – you have lost your faith and are now a man of science. You see logical order in everything, and have a desire to explain this to all."

"Danielle Rousseau – you are clumsy, and have a habit of bumping into people and getting in the way."

"Desmond Hume – you suffer from acute hypochondria, and must warn everyone about possible germs."

"Juliet Burke – You constantly throw yourself at men, but every time you see one, you think he's better looking than the one you're currently with."

"Eko Tunde – you love to play practical jokes on everyone. You act like a child and are constantly giddy."

"Ana-Lucia Cortez – you are an excellent masseuse. You feel most fulfilled when giving someone a back rub."

"Karl Martin – you are a fancy-pants lawyer and want to constantly spout off your legal opinions. This could be why nobody likes you."

"Alex Linus – you are a no-nonsense cop. Law and order must be obtained at all times."

"Emma and Zach with no last name – your role models are Shannon and Boone. You also are the epitome of sibling rivalry, each of you always wanting to show that you are better than the other."

"Cindy Chandler: "It is your duty to watch over Emma and Zach. While you will never allow anyone to lay a hand on them, you are a stern disciplinarian and will see to it that they are restrained if necessary."

"Bea Klugh - you have a penchant for saying and doing completely random things."

"One more thing: everyone except Hurley and Bea will find the submarine rather hot, and will be comfortable with the attire they have now."

Everyone blinks as they appear to come out a trance, and are ready for the submarine voyage.


	77. Submarine Cabin Fever

The Others are meeting in the DeGroovy building, where many monitors have been set up.

Ben: "Is everything ready?"

Mikhail: "All the recording devices are in place and operational. The Oceanics are boarding now."

Ben: "Good. Let's hope this mind control experiment turns out to be highly beneficial to mankind."

Ethan: "And entertaining."

Ben: "You're not supposed to say that out loud."

Everyone in the room laughs.

* * *

The Oceanics come out of the daze after hearing their new suggested personalities. There is silence for several moments. Then,

Walt: "Well, don't just stand there you landlubbers; get this tub on the move!"

Michael: "Walt! You can't talk to us like that."

Walt: "I can talk to anyone however I want. I'm the captain."

Michael: "Why you …"

Jin (in Korean): "Calm down Michael, the way you're acting you could blow up yourself and the submarine."

Sun: "He said you need to calm down, Michael."

Sawyer: "Captain Kidd is right; we do have to get moving. We do have the instructions, right?"

Sayid: "Right here."

Ana-Lucia puts her hands on Michael's shoulders. "Come with me, Michael, I can help you."

Michael is too out of sorts to argue and lets Ana-Lucia lead him into a small room.

Ana-Lucia: "Lie face-down on this table."

Michael complies, and Ana-Lucia begins massaging his back, neck and shoulders.

Ana-Lucia: "Relax. You're way too tense."

Michael: "It's impossible not to be with that brat I'm stuck with."

Ana-Lucia: "Don't think about him. Clear your mind. Just concentrate on my hands on those toned muscles of yours."

After several moments, Michael comments: "That does feel pretty good."

Ana-Lucia: "That's more like it."

* * *

Claire takes on a more aggressive manner as she looks through the various cabins to see if there is anything appropriate. "There doesn't seem to be anything like a honeymoon suite on this submarine. Not even a nursery."

Charlie: "Yes, and all the bunks are rather narrow. But this room here has a chest of drawers. I think Aaron will fit in one of these."

Charlie pulls out a drawer, and adjusts a blanket inside. "I bet the little radish-head will love it in there."

Claire is dubious, but gingerly puts Aaron down in the drawer. Aaron coos happily.

Claire: "That's rather convenient, a nice crib. Now we can move around without having to be at his side constantly, and do our jobs."

* * *

Hurley: "We can't depart yet! This place is filthy!"

Cindy: "It looks clean to me."

Desmond: "Even if it looks clean, there could be germs all over."

Hurley: "There is dust all over the place. I have to clean this."

Desmond: "I'll help. Do you suppose there are latex gloves around here?"

Hurley searches a supply closet and finds a dust broom. Desmond takes a pair of rubber gloves, the best he can find a can of disinfectant, and a roll of paper towels. Hurley begins frenetically dusting every surface in sight, while Desmond is more careful spraying all surfaces and wiping them clean.

Libby stands still for a moment, and then rushes to Hurley.

Libby: "Don't leave me alone."

Hurley: "What's the matter?"

Libby: "I think there are extraterrestrial aliens on board trying to get back to their home planet. They may be on to me."

Hurley: "These people aren't aliens; it's just that their standard of cleanliness is too low. But you're more than welcome to help."

Libby: "Thank you, I'd like that."

Libby gets a dust cloth and helps Hurley and Desmond clean the submarine.

* * *

Sawyer and Sayid are poring over the instructions in the engine room.

Sawyer: "I think I have it figured out. You computed that we are at 4 degrees south, 176 degrees east. The nearest significant land is Fiji, which is at 18 degrees south and 175 degrees east. Now we just need a bit of spherical trigonometry."

Sayid: "Of course. Convert to spherical coordinates, take the dot product of the resulting vectors, then the inverse cosine to get the distance, and the component of that vector in a geographic orthogonal coordinate system to find the bearing."

Sawyer: "Well duh, of course that's what I'm doing. Now allowing for ocean currents, solar wind, convection, the earth's magnetic field and nutation and the Coriolis force, I make our heading 191.7 degrees, for a distance of 14.03 degrees, which amounts to a distance of 1,559 kilometers. We appear to have a top speed of 42 kilometers per hour, so allowing for acceleration at the beginning and deceleration at the end, it should take 38 hours."

Sayid: "I can't believe SpellCheck flagged such common scientific terms as 'nutation' and 'Coriolis'."

Walt: "Enough of the fourth wall jokes! Get this sub moving, now!"

Sawyer: "We don't take orders from you, pipsqueak. Why don't you go play with your little friends or we'll see if we find a way to shove you between some walls, or bulkheads, as they should be called on a sailing vessel."

Sayid: "We'll get this submarine moving, but it's because of all us want to. Here goes."

Sayid and Sawyer work the controls and get the submarine moving. Unfortunately, instead of the straight course Sawyer computed, it travels in a large clockwise circle.

Walt: "Very good. Let this be a warning: any more insubordination and you'll be thrown in the brig."

Sayid: "I don't remember seeing a brig in the plans for this boat."

Walt: "Then you'll be keel-hauled." Walt stomps off.

* * *

Locke is ambling around the submarine when Ana-Lucia is finishing her massage of Michael.

Michael: "Thanks, Ana-Lucia; that was terrific. I'm ready to face the world now. I wish I could repay you."

Ana-Lucia: "There's no need to; just make way for the next customer. Yoo-hoo, John!"

Michael goes over to the engine room and volunteers to make sure that the controls aren't tampered with.

Locke: "Me? A massage? That/s not exactly my kind of thing."

Ana-Lucia: "It should be. You've been under a lot of stress, and the medical benefits are unquestioned. You have nothing to lose."

Locke thinks about it. "That is indeed logical. How do we proceed?"

Ana-Lucia: "Just lie down on this table, and relax." Ana-Lucia rubs Locke's back and shoulders.

"You're in great shape for your age."

Locke: "I guess I have been pretty active for some time. Lots of fresh air and exercise. Wow, that does feel good. Ahhhhh…"

* * *

Shannon: "Let's find the kitchen. We're all going to need to eat."

Sawyer: "The technical term for a kitchen on a sailing vessel is the 'galley'."

Boone: "Good one, Sawyer, I can tell we'll get along great."

Kate sees the small box Ben planted with her name on it.

Kate: "What's this, a present for me?"

Kate opens the box to reveal a small brown two-piece bathing suit. "How thoughtful – that boarskin thing John made for me was getting a bit old."

Kate goes into another room to change, and reappears as a striking as a beauty pageant contestant.

Jack: "You look divine, Kate. How do you feel?"

Kate: "I feel like … singing!"

Kate bursts into song. "The hills are alive with the sound of music."

Locke: "There are no hills or music here."

Sawyer: "There could be hills on the ocean floor."

Walt: "Austen, stop that singing immediately! Your voice is threatening the structural integrity of the hull!"

There is stunned silence at Walt's rude scolding.

* * *

Shannon and Boone make it to the kitchen, er, galley.

Shannon: "Let's see, how does this microwave work?"

Boone: "Stand aside, I'll fix it."

Shannon: "It isn't broken, you numbskull."

Boone: "Let me handle the repairs. You don't know the difference between a needle-nose pliers and a crosscut saw."

Shannon: "You need to keep out of the kitchen. You don't know the difference between baking soda and soda pop."

Boone: "Just let me … hey, aren't these instructions?"

Shannon: "Give that to me." Shannon yanks a small pamphlet from Boone.

Boone: "You're holding that upside-down."

Shannon: "I'm perfectly capable of reading upside-down."

Boone: "Would you like me to teach you how to read right-side-up?"

Shannon: "Don't you have to be able to read before you can teach someone?"

Boone: "Do you realize how hot and sexy you are when you're angry?"

Shannon: "You too."

They can't help themselves and lock in a passionate embrace. They remain undisturbed for several minutes when an unwelcome intruder passes by.

Walt: "Hey! No fraternizing while on duty! Get back to work or prepare to be court-martialed!"

* * *

Eko finds a can of Dharpa brand shaving cream. He roams the submarine, and runs into Jack.

Jack: "Hi Eko, how are you doing?"

Eko squirts some shaving cream onto Jack's nose, and jumps up and down. "Ha ha!"

Eko runs away and squirts everyone he sees, getting Jin, Sun, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Juliet, and Bea. Then he finds Emma and Zach arguing.

Zach: "You're so ugly the warthog at the zoo ran away when he saw you."

Emma: "You're so dumb it took you three years to pass kindergarten."

Zach: "Your breath could be used in chemical warfare."

Emma: "You smell so bad you can clear a forest of skunks."

Eko squirts shaving cream on Emma's nose.

Zach: "Thanks Eko, that's an improvement. Can you cover her whole face?"

Eko turns around and squirts the shaving cream all over Zach's face.

Emma: "Now that's the best Zach has looked since he was born. Can you leave that stuff on his face until he's old enough to shave?"

Eko then covers Emma's entire head with the last of the shaving cream. Zach rubs enough out of his eyes to see.

Zach: "Emma, you look presentable for the first time in your life."

Emma: "At least you smell a little better now."

Zach: "That stuff covers up your bad breath too."

Cindy: "Thank you Eko, those two have been driving me up the wall."

Eko: "You just need a little more imagination." Eko gives Cindy a quick kiss much to her surprise, and runs off.

* * *

Several passengers are milling around aimlessly.

Sun: "Bea, have you considered getting a makeover? You could let your hair grow out, but we can make a wig in the meantime. And that plain brown Other-type dress is not very fashionable."

Bea: "I think some plastic pink lawn flamingoes would brighten this place up."

Sun: "Were you paying attention to what I said?"

Bea continues spouting random thoughts.

Bea: "We don't use money on the island, so I can't pay you anything."

Sun: "That's not what I meant, oh, never mind."

* * *

Charlie remembers his new purpose in life.

Charlie: "Wait a minute. This submarine could be used to smuggle drugs. Everyone and everything should be inspected."

Cindy: "I think it's pretty clear from the way we're dressed most of us can't possibly be smuggling drugs on our persons."

Juliet looks at Charlie and finds him irresistible. "I have nothing to hide. Come frisk me." Juliet puts her hands up on a wall.

Charlie: "Um … okay." Charlie pats the blue bikini-clad Juliet down. "You're clean."

Juliet: "Now it's only fair that someone frisk you."

Charlie: "I guess you're right."

Juliet runs her hands all over Charlie. "Do you know how handsome you are?"

Claire butts in. "I think that's enough. Isn't there something else both of you have to do?"

Juliet spots Jack over Charlie's shoulder. "Oh sure. Charlie isn't carrying anything illegal."

Juliet wafts over toward Jack, while Claire tells Charlie: "I don't think you need to frisk us. Why don't you inspect the galley?"

Charlie: "Good idea." Charlie goes into the galley and starts checking everything item of food. "Cereal … cold cuts … chocolate … sugar … flour … peanut butter …"

Something inside Claire snaps. "Out of my way!"

Claire charges toward the galley, pushing Eko out of the way and sending him flying across the room as if he were a rag doll. Danielle tries to jump out of the way, but trips over Jack. Flailing, Danielle grabs the end of a tablecloth and pulls it, along with many place settings, off a table. The loud clatter catches Hurley's attention.

Hurley: "Oh no! What a mess!"

Danielle: "Sorry. I'll help clean it up."

Hurley: "You'd probably just make it worse. I'll take care of it."

Jin comes over: "Is anybody hurt?" in Korean.

Jack: "What?"

Sun: "He asked if anyone was hurt."

Danielle: "I'm fine. This happens to me all the time."

Jack: "I think I'm okay."

Having finished Locke's massage, Ana-Lucia comes over to Jack.

Ana-Lucia: "How about a nice massage to be sure?"

Jack: "Um…"

Ana-Lucia takes charge and drags Jack to what has become the massage table.

Meanwhile, Claire has reached Charlie.

Claire: "I heard you mention peanut butter. I must have it."

Charlie: "I thought your cravings went down after you had Aaron."

Claire: "In this case you better let me do the thinking. Peanut butter provides essential nutrients that Aaron and I require."

Claire grabs a jar of peanut butter, finds a spoon, opens the jar, and scoops out several large mouthfuls.

Claire: "I feel better now. Listen everyone, if you find any more peanut butter, inform me. I don't want to see anyone hoarding it."

Eko, amazed at Claire's strength, picks himself up off the floor and gets an idea.

* * *

Back at the Swan Station, Rose, Bernard, and the freighter crew get to spend the day cleaning up the hatch.

Bernard: "If we had gone on the submarine, we wouldn't have to clean up this mess."

Rose: "Our place is here, and this is a one-time job. And the place won't be so crowded now."

When the freighter crew gets a chance to be alone, Naomi convenes a meeting.

Naomi: "All right, any ideas on how to apprehend Linus?"

Daniel: "We've lost the element of surprise, and I don't see any conventional means working. They must have better weapons than we do."

Miles: "What if we just go straight into their village and take him? They won't be expecting that."

Charlotte: "I think we need a better plan than that. They must have us outnumbered, and can probably see us coming from a distance."

Naomi: "Frank, do you think you can get that helicopter working?"

Frank: "That will take a long time, but with the tools here, it can be done."

Naomi: "Then maybe we can make some sort of aerial assault. Swoop in quickly when LInus isn't expecting it, capture him, and fly back to the freighter."

Daniel: "Sounds as good as anything."

Frank: "Then we may as well get started. Two or three of us should be working on it during daylight hours."

Daniel: "It's too far to get to today."

Charlotte: "What about the Edsel? If it's fixed up and the Oceanics aren't using it, that would speed things up a lot."

Naomi: "Good idea! They left the car at the beach. We can get in now and drive it back here, and be ready to leave in the morning."

Miles: "Okay, I'll get it. I haven't done anything important for a while."

Frank: "Neither have I."

Miles and Frank go to the beach and drive the Edsel back to the hatch.

* * *

In another part of the world, Penny and Abaddon fly their plane across the Atlantic. They reach Newfoundland where they have to stop and rest and refuel at a private airport owned by Widmore Industries.

* * *

Back on the submarine, Walt gets a devious idea. He finds a packet of Dharpa brand sugar in the pantry, writes over the name with a marker, tears the packet open, and then sneaks up behind Michael and puts it in his back pocket. Walt then reports to Charlie. "Hey Charlie, you're looking for illegal drug smuggling, right?"

Charlie: "That's right. Do you know something?"

Walt: "I saw my dad do something, and stick a packet of white powder in his packet. It could be heroin or cocaine."

Charlie: "Thanks for the tip. I'll look into this."

Charlie approaches Michael. "Could you please stand?"

Michael: "What for?"

Charlie: "Aha! That is suspicious. Do you have something to hide?"

Michael starts to lose his temper, and stands up and gets in Charlie's face. "What are you talking about?"

Alex hears the commotion. "What's going on here?"

Charlie: "We have a possible drug smuggling operation here. Sir, could you please empty your pockets?"

Michael: "I haven't had anything in my pockets for months. These pants are so worn … hey, what's this?"

Charlie: "Aha! The evidence!"

Alex: "Sir, I have to put you under arrest on suspicion of drug trafficking. You have the right to remain silent."

Michael: "That isn't mine! I've been framed!"

Alex: "Anything you say can and has a forty-two percent chance of being used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney."

Michael: "Attorney? Who here is an attorney?"

Karl: "That would be me."

Michael: "Aren't you in love with the pretend-cop here? Whose side would you be on?"

Alex: "I am not pretending."

Karl: "My professional ethics preclude any possible partiality based on any relationship with anyone involved in the case. Now you have the right to a trial by jury of twelve of your peers."

Everyone now is paying attention to the commotion.

Michael: "Trial? And how do we select peers? Take the first twelve people we see?"

Karl: "Sounds as good as any. Okay, who wants to be on the jury?'

Quickly the jury is assembled, consisting of Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Boone, Shannon, Jin, Sun, Hurley, Libby, Locke, and Danielle.

Karl: "We also need a judge."

Walt: "That should be me since I'm captain."

Michael: "You are not the captain! And besides, being related to the defendant you have to recuse yourself."

Walt: "I do not. Let the trial begin. All rise in the honor of my presence."

Michael: "Quit pushing it! This is a farce. This isn't drugs, it's …" Michael tastes the powder. "… sugar! Hey Jack, you're a doctor, you can tell what this is, right?"

Jack: "Doctor? I don't know, there's so many powders that look alike, who can tell them apart?"

Sawyer: "I can help here. Give me the evidence."

Sawyer steps forward, sniffs the packet, and then touches the powder and brings his finger to his tongue. "This is undoubtedly sucrose."

Jack: "So it is some kind of new drug."

Sawyer: "No you moron, it's ordinary table sugar."

Walt: "Objection!"

Karl: "The judge doesn't object, that's what the prosecuting and defense attorneys do."

Walt: "Jurors don't give testimony!"

Sawyer: "It is up to the jurors to determine justice. I have a question: Charlie, who tipped you off that Michael might be carrying drugs?"

Charlie: "Walt."

Michael: "Why don't we dust this packet for fingerprints?"

Walt: "Sawyer! Dawson! You're out of order! You're hereby demoted to seamen third class. You are hereby ordered to clean the latrines, then build a brig and lock yourselves in."

Michael and Sawyer look at each other, and in perfect harmony, Michael grabs Walt around the arms and Sawyer the legs.

Michael: "I saw the perfect place for him."

Walt: "Stop! This is mutiny! You'll all be keel-hauled!"

Michael and Sawyer carry Walt to a cylindrical metal recycling bin. It is a meter high and has a circular opening at the top. They try to put Walt in, but the hole is slightly smaller in diameter than Walt's hips leaving his legs within the container.

Michael: "How we both push down on his shoulders?"

Sawyer: "That could work." Michael and Sawyer push down, and with their combined weight the opening gives just enough for Walt to drop through. The top of the bin comes up to just below his chest. Walt places his hands on the top of the bin and pushes himself up. Once again the circular opening is not quite large enough for his hips to go through, and not having the force of two grown men in good physical condition, he doesn't have the strength to push himself out. For several seconds he strains and twists with his waist at the top of the opening, but his hips can't get past the bottom of the opening, which is about eight centimeters in height, and he has to settle down with his feet on the bottom.

Walt: "Why you … get me out of here!"

Michael: "Not until you get an attitude adjustment."

Walt rocks the container.

Michael: "Stop that. I wouldn't want you to fall and hurt yourself. Any way this can be secured?"

Boone: "We can duct tape the cylinder to the wall, er, bulkhead."

Michael: "Good idea. And I have another idea."

Michael holds the cylindrical bin in place while there are several volunteers to secure it with duct tape. Then Michael writes a message on a piece of paper reading: "Recycle: Misbehaving Children," and tapes that to the can where Walt can't reach it.

Sawyer: "Looks like Oscar the Grouch in his garbage can."

Walt: "I forbid you from uttering any more stupid nicknames."

Sawyer: "What about intelligent nicknames, Captain Grouch?"

Walt: "Enough! I want a lawyer."

Karl: "Glad to be of service. What can I do for you?"

Walt: "I want to sue my father for being a jerk."

Karl: "That isn't a crime."

Walt: "Well, this is cruel and unusual punishment. I demand another trial."

Karl: "Okay. May as well start now. Who wants to be judge?"

Alex: "Let me, let me."

Karl: "Anyone object?"

No one objects.

Karl: "Okay, who has a reason why this isn't cruel?"

Michael: "I can give it a shot. Walt, you don't appear to be in pain, is that right?"

Walt: "That's right, but …"

Michael: "And that recycling bin is clean, isn't it? It's not like you're standing belly-deep in garbage, are you?"

Walt: "Well no, but …"

Michael: "So there's no problem. You've just been placed in an enforced time-out. Anybody have a problem with that?"

Walt: "I do. I look really stupid stuck in here."

Alex: "You're on trial; it's up to your peers to decide."

Just about all of the peers have been insulted by Walt already, and none of them have a problem with Michael's argument.

Locke: "That is so logical."

Walt: "But … but … this is still unusual."

Karl: "So everyone, do you believe this is unusual?"

Sayid revels in his chance to ace as a gossip and spurt out a long stream of facts. "This is not at all unusual for Walt. During his time on this island, he has spent a lot of time caught in nets, tied to trees, and buried chest-deep or deeper in sand, sort of like he is now. He has spent several days handcuffed, been locked in a cage, suspended upside-down, tied or strapped to various chairs and tables, hogtied, dunked in slimy water, hit with silly string and pies, trapped under a heavy barbell, and stuck in deep mud, again sort of like he is now. If anything, Walt's current predicament is more usual than unusual for him."

Locke: "That logic is unshakeable."

Alex: "Bea, you spent a lot of time with Walt. Do you have anything to add?"

Bea: "You forgot something. Walt, smile for your mug shot."

Bea takes out her camera as Walt snarls and shakes his fists.

Walt: "I am not going to smile!"

Bea takes the picture. "Walt is as cute as a box of laundry detergent."

Shannon: "That doesn't make any sense."

Alex: "It's irrelevant to the proceedings, so who cares. Juliet, you also spent a lot of time with Walt. Do you have anything to add?"

Juliet: "I'm sure Walt will grow into a fine-looking young man. Like his father."

Juliet drapes her arms around Michael. "Come on Michael, let's get out of here. This trial is over."

Michael is taken by surprise, but recovers. "Uh, sure. Let's see some other sights of the ship."

Juliet and Michael saunter off, and then everybody else leaves Walt alone stuck in the recycling bin.

* * *

Back in the pantry, there is an announcement.

Eko: "I found a jar with a picture of a peanut and a stick of butter on it. What can that mean?"

Claire: "Give that to me!"

Claire grabs the jar from Eko's hand, and with some difficulty, twists open the lid. Eight coiled gag snakes shoot out of the jar, startling Claire, who jumps backward, knocking over a shelf, which falls into the next shelf, and knocks that and two more over like a row of dominoes.

Eko: "Tee-hee! Cleanup in aisles one, two, three, and four."

Claire: "What's wrong with you? I have to get you for that."

Eko: "I don't think so. I'm a lot bigger than you."

Eko dances away. Claire fumes, and runs to Aaron to regain her composure.

Hearing the crashing of the shelves, Hurley runs over and is sent into a tizzy. "Why can't you dudes keep anything clean?"

Hurley embarks on cleaning up the mess, and does an excellent job. The submarine is in fine shape for dinner.


	78. Everybody Hates Rude Captains

It is dinnertime on the submarine.

Shannon: "Dinner's just about ready. Will someone please set the tables?"

Desmond: "Has all the dinnerware been thoroughly washed?"

Eko: "I'll do it."

Shannon: "I don't think I trust you."

Jack: "I can give it a shot."

Jack sets a few places, when somebody objects.

Hurley: "No, you're doing it wrong. The plates should all be evenly spaced, and the silverware and napkins must be the same distance from their respective plates."

Hurley pushes Jack out of the way and adjusts the place settings.

Michael: "That looks like a work of art."

Sawyer: "Yes, but there aren't enough place settings."

Locke: "We just need another table for the children."

Zach: "Do Emma and I have to eat together?"

Cindy: "Technically, you could choose not to eat at all."

Alex: "Let's not get anyone into trouble. We'll set up a table by Walt."

Michael: "What will he eat? Bread and water?"

Shannon: "Don't be ridiculous. I made cheeseburgers for the kids and anyone else who would like them. We also have chicken, salad, soup, lots of nice vegetables, and a nice table wine."

Sawyer: "You should also provide a non-alcoholic alternative."

Boone: "Good idea. Somebody needs to stay sober so we don't run into drunk-driving submarine problems."

Alex: "Absolutely. Driving any vehicle while intoxicated is a crime."

Shannon: "Fine, we also have grape juice."

Emma: "Who's going to set up our table?"

Hurley: "Better let me do it. I'm not sure anyone else can do it properly."

Libby: "I want to help. Let me come with you."

Hurley, Libby, Emma, and Zach go off to look for another table and some chairs. While they are doing so, Eko sneaks into the kitchen and switches the labels on some bottles of red wine and grape juice.

Kate: "How about a pre-dinner aria?"

Everyone else present: "NO!"

Claire: "Sorry Kate, but that is one thing Walt got right."

Kate: "My voice won't damage the hulls!"

Charlie: "It's best not to take a chance. Let's enjoy a good meal."

Eko wants to stay sober to see the other's reactions. He opens a grape juice bottle disguised as wine and announces, "I'll have some wine."

Ana-Lucia: "Sounds good to me."

Sawyer: "I'll be the designated driver. I'll have grape juice." Sawyer opens a bottle labeled Dharpa grape juice and takes a sip. "Rather strong juice, I should say."

Sayid: "There should be a back-up driver. I'm with you."

Juliet drapes her arms around Sayid. "Gosh you look handsome. A little wine wouldn't hurt."

Kate: "I think I could use a good drink."

Michael: "Me too. So would anyone with a kid like mine."

Cindy: "But I'll have to look after the kids. I'll just drink juice."

Bea: "So who do you think will win the World Series?"

Michael: "Better give Bea grape juice."

Jin mumbles in Korean.

Sun: "Jin won't drink while on duty. And neither should I since I'm pregnant."

Alex: "I'm also on duty."

Karl: "I want to enjoy this with Alex."

Charlie: "I'm on duty, too."

Claire: "Same here."

Desmond: "Grape juice will be fine for me, too."

Jack: "Same here."

Locke: "Me too."

Danielle: "Better stay sober. I seem to be a tad clumsy today."

Boone: "Live a little. I'll take the wine."

Shannon: "And so will I."

The diners make their drink selections and begin to eat.

* * *

While looking for a table and chairs for the kids, Libby wanders up to Walt, still stuck chest-deep in the meter-high metal cylindrical recycling bin Michael has labeled "Recycle: Misbehaving Children." Upon seeing Libby, Walt gesticulates wildly with his arms and speaks sarcastically.

Walt: "So are you happy Ms. Space Alien Hunter? Your alien is stuck in the garbage and looks like a complete idiot."

Libby: "Calm down, Walt. I know you're not an alien. You're a perfectly normal boy."

Walt doesn't believe her. "Yeah right. It's perfectly normal to be standing in this stupid bin waiting to be recycled."

Libby: "You're just a victim of circumstance. I've think you've been set up by the real alien or aliens on board."

Walt brightens up: "Really? Do you know who it is?"

Libby: "Not yet. Do you have an idea?"

Walt: "I bet it's my father."

Libby: "If your father is an alien, wouldn't that make you one, too?"

Walt: "Um, he probably adopted me."

Libby: "Why would he do that?"

Walt: "I don't know; aliens do strange things in their attempts to take over the world."

At that moment Hurley, Emma, and Zach come with a table and two chairs.

Hurley: "Oh, there you are. Let's just get this set up and we'll get your meals."

Walt: "You mean I have to eat while standing in the garbage?"

Libby: "You're not garbage, Walt. You're just being considered recycling material. The rest of us hope that you will come back new and improved."

Walt: "I don't need improvement! Everyone else does. Now get me out of here!"

Hurley: "I'm afraid that your father would get upset if I attempted that. Besides, you look very neat in that container."

Walt: "Tell you what: you two want to get married, right? I'll perform the ceremony free of charge if you get me out of here."

Hurley: "What? I don't think you have the authority to perform weddings."

Walt: "Sure I do. I'm the captain of a sailing vessel."

Libby: "If you were captain, wouldn't you have some insignia on your shoulders and some medals on your chest?"

Walt: "Nobody has any of that on board this ship."

Hurley and Libby are not convinced, and hurry off to get the kids' meals. They reach the mess hall.

Hurley: "The kids are all set. Are there meals ready?"

Shannon: "Yes, here they are. Also, would you like wine or grape juice for dinner?"

Hurley: "I think this occasion calls for wine."

Libby: "I agree."

Cindy: "Fine. Hey, the kids are my responsibility, so I'll take them their dinners."

* * *

Back at the recycling center,

Walt: "Hey you two, get me out of here and I'll promote you to lieutenants. You can be second in command."

Emma: "How about you be the lieutenant, and I'll be the captain?"

Zach: "No, I want to be the captain."

Emma: "There can only be one captain, and I'm bigger and older and smarter than you."

Walt: "I'm bigger and older and smarter than both of you. I'm the captain, and I'm offering you a better deal than you'll get anywhere else."

Zach: "If you're so smart, why are you the one stuck in the recycling bin?"

Walt growls, and pushes himself with his hands on the lid of the cylindrical recycling bin, but as before, he can't get his hips past the round opening. Emma suddenly snaps a picture of him visible from the waist up.

Walt: "What are you doing?" Walt gives up settles back down into the bin.

Emma: "I borrowed Bea's camera when she was eating. She's gone so crazy she didn't notice. And you are so adorable when your muscles are straining. It's a great contrast to this guy who doesn't have any muscles." Emma points an elbow at Zach.

Zach: "Hey, I'll have more muscles when I'm older. Too bad it's too late for you to grow some brains."

Emma: "You were absent when they passed out brains."

Cindy shows up with the kids' meals. She is carrying a tray with three cheeseburgers, French fries, milk shakes, and ketchup and mustard dispensers.

Cindy: "Enough foolishness! Eat your food like civilized people and don't cause any trouble."

Cindy returns to the main mess hall and eats with the rest of the adults. Some of them appear to be a bit tipsy.

Jack: "This meal is very tasty. I think it might be the grape juice."

Desmond: "Aye, brother, I'm inclined to agree with you."

Bea: "Doesn't this sub purr like a kitten?"

Michael: "What's gotten into you? And by the way, this wine is really weak."

Cindy: "Should have gone with the grape juice. There's some left."

Michael: "Maybe I will." Michael pours himself a glass of mislabeled juice.

Sawyer: "Something unusual does seem to be taking place."

Ana-Lucia: "Something is odd. But I know what will fix you up: a nice massage. Come with me."

Sawyer finishes his meal, and unable to find a reason not to, lets Ana-Lucia lead him to the massage room where Ana-Lucia does her best work. Back at the mess hall tables,

Sayid: "I think I need to go for a walk. Anyone want to join me?"

Kate: "I will. Michael is right, that wine was weak."

Michael: "I'll come along, as long as we stay away from Walt."

Jack: "Me too, as long as Kate doesn't sing." Jack staggers to his feet.

Kate: "Harrummppf."

Danielle: "I'll come along. Maybe there are traps along the way, and I have a good eye for those."

Alex: "Karl, I feel funny."

Karl: "Me too. Why don't we retire for the evening?"

Alex: "Good idea."

Alex and Karl stagger off to a cabin and snuggle together on a small bunk.

Jin: "Something definitely is funny."

Sun: "Jin, you're speaking English now? This juice … wait a minute, this is wine!" Sun stops drinking immediately since she is pregnant. Fortunately she only had a sip.

Charlie: "There was something odd about that wine."

Claire: "In that case, I've got a better idea for a drink: a peanut butter smoothie!"

Shannon: "I could make that. Does anyone else want one?"

Claire: "No. They're all for me. Well, maybe a small one for Aaron."

Boone: "Let's all finish dinner and then take a close look at everything in the sub."

Hurley: "Should we try to figure out if someone switched the wine and grape juice?"

Michael: "I bet it was Walt."

Locke: "That isn't possible. Walt has been stuck in the recycling bin well before dinner started."

Michael: "But Walt might have some ability to be in two places at once."

Juliet: "No, that was just projecting images of images to see what reactions we'd get. It was fun freaking out Shannon."

Shannon: "What!"

Boone: "Shannon does freak out rather easily."

Shannon: "Maybe that has something to do with living with a freak for many years."

Locke: "You're flying off on a tangent. I'll go check up on Walt."

Cindy: "I'll go with you, and make sure Emma and Zach are behaving."

Sayid: "But we didn't find out who was responsible for the switch."

Eko whistles: "I'm sure it was Walt with his magic powers. No real harm done."

The main group finishes dinner and walks around the submarine, except for Claire, who remains behind to secure every last jar of peanut butter and makes some peanut butter smoothies. They pass the engine room, and make sure the controls are still in position.

Sawyer: "Hey, I didn't see this before. This looks like it controls torpedoes."

Kate: "What's a submarine without torpedoes?"

Sayid: "Yes, and the torpedo tubes are set into this bulkhead. Can't imagine that we'd have any use for them."

Then Charlie leans against a wall, and a secret panel slides open.

Charlie: "What did I just do?"

Sawyer: "It looks like you discovered a new room. Let's see what's in here, looks like … a nuclear warhead?"

Sayid: "I believe you're correct."

Boone looks at the mechanism. "Looks like the real thing all right."

Jack: "So we could blow up that island and all the horrible people on it?"

Sayid: "But we'd be taking Rose and Bernard, and those freighter people as well. Assuming we can get it to work, which we're probably better off not attempting."

Sawyer: "Agreed. Though there is a theory that under the right circumstances, such devices can be used to bend the space-time continuum, meaning we might be able to travel through time and space in an unconventional manner. But to be safe, don't let Eko in here alone."

* * *

The scene shifts to Othersville, as the Others' interest is suddenly markedly piqued.

Goodwin: "Nuclear warhead? Why is there a nuclear device on that sub?"

Ethan: "Yes, where did you get that boat anyway?"

Ben: "It came from navy surplus. I knew about the torpedoes, which can't harm us, but …eh, I can't imagine that any nuclear device they have there is operational."

Tom: "You can't be sure of that, can you?"

Ben: "Be realistic. They won't bomb the island as long as some of their people are still on it."

Danny: "I guess that makes sense, but I'd feel better if the sub were back in our hands."

Ben: "It will be soon enough. But we should make plans to move the island just in case. We'll need a volunteer or two. Whoever does it might never come back."

Ethan: "Can we volunteer one or two of them?"

Ben: "That is the preferred method. I'll have to convince them that they want to do it."

* * *

Locke reaches the children, who are finishing their meals, ahead of Cindy.

Walt: "Hey John, you got to help me out of here. How was it that you helped me before? Visualize something with my mind's eye?"

Locke: "That's nonsense. To get out of that container you have to propel yourself upward with at least as much force upward, taking gravity into account, than what was used to push you in there. The only other possibility is to cut up the container."

Walt: "That's it? What happened to you?"

Locke: "I just see things realistically and scientifically now."

Walt: "Well, how about you cut up this stupid bin?"

Zach: "That would be destroying property unnecessarily."

Emma: "And besides, you look darling in there."

Walt: "That does it! You are no longer in line for promotion."

Walt grabs the ketchup and mustard bottles and squirt Emma and Zach in the face and chest. The siblings grab for Walt's arms, and in the struggle ketchup and mustard squirt all over the place, including Locke. They wrest the bottles from Walt's hands just as Cindy turns a corner, and she gets squirted on.

Cindy: "What is the matter with you two!"

Walt: "Their conduct is unbecoming of officers. Can you find more recycling bins to stuff them into?"

Locke: "Yours is the only one here. Why don't you all just go to bed now?"

Cindy: "There might not be enough bunks for the juvenile delinquents."

Walt: "Why don't you glue them to the bulkhead?"

Cindy: "Glue? Hey, there's some leftover duct tape from when they taped your bin to the wall. We can use that."

Zach: "Ha! Just standing against the wall? That will be easy to break out of."

Emma: "Easy for me, anyway. Can't be sure about you."

Walt: "The term is 'bulkhead' you landlubbers. Now line up against the bulkhead, and hold your arms out like this."

Walt spreads his arms straight out to his sides, and Emma and Zach mockingly copy him. Cindy tapes the siblings' hands to the wall with vertical pieces of tape.

Locke: "They're right, that will never hold. You need long pieces of tape going across, like this."

Locke starts a piece of tape from behind a door, then unrolls it horizontally along the bulkhead, going across the tops of the pieces of tape Cindy used, going behind their heads, and then wraps the other end around another door. Then he repeats the procedure, this time crossing the bottoms of the pieces of tape Cindy used. Emma and Zach are surprised they can't free their arms.

Locke: "This Dharpa duct tape is high quality stuff."

Walt: "Better tape their feet to be safe."

Locke and Cindy cooperate, unwinding more tape, starting from behind one door, then going around Zach's feet, along the bulkhead, then around Emma's feet, and then behind the second door.

Zach: "Hey, I can't move my arms or legs. This may take longer than I thought."

Emma: "Not as long as it will take me."

Walt: "Can you tape their mouths too?"

Emma: "Then you have to tape Walt's mouth too."

Locke: "I don't want to possibly jeopardize your ability to breathe."

Cindy: "I know a way to keep all you kids quiet."

Walt: "I don't like the way you said that. Now find someone to help me out of here, and you'll be promoted. I can't be stuck in the trash for an entire episode."

Locke: "Don't tell us what you can't be."

Walt: "You said that quote wrong."

Cindy: "It doesn't matter, after how you've acted there's no chance of finding anyone who will help you. Now all of you keep quiet, or I'll bring Kate here to sing to you. I'm sure she'd love to show off her operatic skills in front of a captive audience."

Locke: "That's a brilliant idea, Cindy."

Walt, Emma, and Zach wail, and then sulk quietly as Locke and Cindy join the others on the tour of the submarine. Then they resume their futile escape attempts, making sure to stay quiet.

* * *

With nothing better to do, Naomi, Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, and Frank join Rose and Bernard for dinner in the Swan Station. The freighter crew goes to bed early to prepare to work on the helicopter the next day.

* * *

Penny and Abaddon take off from Newfoundland for the next part of their journey, which involves flying to another private Widmore airport located in the outskirts of Los Angeles.

* * *

Eko wanders around and finds the stuck kids. He snickers, and then returns with a blue magic marker and a roll of yellow tape from the room by the nuclear missiles. Eko draws a mustache and beard on Emma's face, and then writes "I love bunnies," with the word "heart" replaced by a heart symbol, on Zach's chest. Next, he unrolls the tape and sticks it to the wall above Walt's head where he can't reach it. It reads, "Danger: Radioactive Biohazard." Eko giggles, and leaves, and runs into Ana-Lucia.

Ana-Lucia: "What are you doing? Is there something wrong with the kids?"

Eko: "No, the kids are fine and are having a great time. I was looking for you – I think it's my turn for a massage."

Ana-Lucia forgets about looking after the children and accompanies Eko into a small unoccupied cabin where they snuggle.


	79. Under the Sea Surface

The passengers settle in for the night on the submarine. Due to space limitations Ana-Lucia and Eko share a bunk, as do Michael and Bea.

Juliet is walking along the corridor with the sleeping cabins. "Hey Sawyer, we're short on beds in this submarine. How about we share?"

Sawyer: "But that would be improper since we're not married."

Juliet is taken aback. "That isn't stopping some of the others."

Sawyer: "I maintain my sense of morals, and make no judgments on those of others. Besides, you have miscounted. There are exactly enough spaces now. Good night."

Juliet: "I'll be glad when this ride is over."

Everyone settles in for the night.

* * *

The scene shifts to Othersville.

Mikhail: "Good news, Ben. I heard from Great and Bonnie from the Looking Glass that they have made repairs to the communications equipment. We should be able to listen in to any transmissions sent or received by that freighter of Widmore's."

Ben: "Excellent. Keep a channel open. Widmore isn't the type to give up after one failed attempt to take over this island."

* * *

Naomi, Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, and Frank depart the Swan Station in the Edsel and drive close to the sight of the helicopter crash. They work on repairing the chopper while Rose and Bernard are left behind to watch over the area from the hatch to the beach.

* * *

The submarine passengers wake up in the morning and stumble along the corridor. Some of them are mildly hung over from having too much fake grape juice. Sun and Jin run into Michael and Bea.

Sun: "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Michael: "Pretty good actually."

Jin says something only Sun can understand.

Sun: "Jin says we should check up on the Walt and his friends."

Michael: "Why? They always turn out fine. Right, Bea?"

Bea: "Can we go to the mall today?"

Sun: "Um, we could try to find something to make a wig for you. But we better check up on the kids first."

They go to the corridor where Walt, Emma, and Zach have been stuck all night, meeting several other passengers along the way. Walt has been leaning awkwardly over the top of the recycling bin, and wakes us he hears the footsteps approaching. He stretches and yawns, and glares at Michael. Then Emma and Zach, still taped to the wall, also start to rouse.

Michael: "So Walt, do you think you've been recycled?"

Walt, confused: "Huh? What do you mean?"

Michael: "When an object gets recycled, it gets treated in some way, cleaned, melted down, something like that, and then comes back ready for a new use. Now I'm hoping that by recycling you overnight, you will come out behaving properly. That means no more pretending you're captain and giving orders, no claiming this is mutiny, no trying to get me in trouble, just no harassing me in general. You will do your fair share of the work on the remainder of this trip, and keep quiet and out of the way when you're not working. Now have you been recycled, or do you need to stay in that bin another day?"

Walt thinks _I have to get out of here. I can't do anything if I'm stuck in this stupid bin. I have to agree to Seaman Third Class Dawson's terms now, and then figure out what do to when I'm free. _"Yes sir, I have been recycled."

Walt salutes Michael to emphasize his sincerity.

Michael: "You're carrying this military thing awfully far, but we can be accommodating, so long as you understand all the adults here are your superior officers."

Walt: "Understood."

Michael chuckles and returns the salute, and Bea snaps a picture. Walt grimaces.

Bea: "He looks so adorable saluting in the garbage can. I've never seen that before."

Michael notices Walt's grimace. "Is there a problem, Seaman Lloyd?"

Walt regroups, and thinks on how best to make sure he gets out of the bin. "No sir. Ms. Klugh, while I'm here, are there any more pictures you'd like to take?"

Bea: "How sweet. Could I have one of you smiling in there? For some reason you haven't looked happy. It's not everyone who gets the opportunity to be recycled."

With great effort, Walt forces a smile, and Bea takes more pictures. Emma and Zach snicker during the process.

Walt: "How about taking some pictures of Emma and Zach? I'm sure they wouldn't want to be left out of this."

Bea: "What a fabulous idea." Bea takes pictures of the kids taped to the wall.

Walt: "You two didn't smile. Isn't it fair that you stay there until you smile nice like me?"

Emma and Zach figure they aren't going to be untaped until they smile, and Bea gets more pictures.

Bea: "Thank you so much. I have to go now and water the flowers."

Bea whistles as she leaves, while everyone else realizes that there are no flowers on the submarine.

Michael: "Okay, time to get you out. What's the best way to do it?"

Sawyer: "Minimizing the friction between Walt and the surface of the bin's opening would be beneficial."

Boone: "Right, with a substance like butter, or motor oil, or how about cooking spray?"

Shannon: "I saw some cans of cooking spray in the galley. I'll go get one."

Michael: "Thank you. And we can get more leverage by tipping the can sideways."

Michael rips off the duct tape holding the recycling bin in place to the wall while Shannon gets the cooking spray. She gives it to Michael.

Shannon: "Here, it's Dharpa brand extra-non-stick cooking spray. It says it's four times as non-sticking as Teflon and is non-toxic."

Michael: "Great, thanks Shannon. Now Walt, push yourself up most of the way so I can get at the surface of the opening."

Walt understands, and pushes himself up so his waist is at the lower edge of the bin's opening. Michael sprays the can all around the surface, and on Walt's hips. Some of the spray gets on Walt's stomach and back and runs down his legs.

Michael: "Okay, that should be enough."

Walt drops down chest-deep once more, and Michael and Sawyer tip the bin over on its side with Walt face down. Walt extends his arms, and Michael and Sawyer each grab one of his wrists. They brace themselves by putting one foot each of the can, and pull. The lubrication works very well, and Walt comes flying out of the can so quickly that he slides down the corridor, unable to stop himself due to all the low-friction coating on his body. He knocks over Jack and Danielle like bowling pins before spinning and crashing into a bulkhead at the end of the corridor.

Walt: "I'm okay."

Walt gets up, but steps on a spot made slick from where he skidded, and falls down. His next attempt to get up doesn't work well as his feet are now coated with the cooking spray and his feet shoot out from under him. As he tries to crawl up his hands land on more slick spots and also shoot out from under him, leaving him floundering on his stomach.

Jack gets up, carefully avoiding any slick spots. Danielle falls twice before Jack helps her up.

Jack: 'Walt, are you really okay?"

Walt: "Except that I've fallen and can't get up."

Boone: "Don't worry, that stuff will evaporate soon."

Michael sets up the recycling bin right-side-up, and tosses the used duct tape in it.

Michael: "All right everybody, we're done here. Let's walk around the other way so no one else slips. I'll take care of Walt."

Emma: "What about us? We're getting hungry."

Zach: "Yeah. Are you going to feed us?"

In the excitement the siblings taped to the wall were forgotten.

Cindy: "I'm not going to feed you like that. Now behave, or I'll find something worse for you."

Cindy takes off the long horizontal pieces of tape that are crossing the shorter vertical pieces holding Emma's and Zach's wrists in place. Cindy crumples up those pieces and throws those in the recycling bin. It takes the siblings four minutes to free their hands and then their feet, which are still wrapped by another long piece of duct tape. Once free, they throw those pieces of tape in the bin and head for the bathrooms to wash of the writing on their bodies and faces. The task is difficult, and when they are done a trace of a blue mustache is visible under Emma's nose and a faint "I (heart) bunnies" can be seen on Zach's chest. Cindy goes to the mess hall to have breakfast.

With everyone else gone, Michael approaches Walt, who is making some progress at moving away from the slippery area.

Michael: "How are you doing?"

Walt: "I'll be okay. Boone was right, this stuff is evaporating. I can crawl out of here and need to wipe my hands and feet on something."

It turns out Michael never let go of the can of Dharpa cooking spray. He grins evilly, and then sprays the can at Walt.

Walt: "Hey! What are you do…?"

Walt figures it out, making a response from Michael unnecessary. Walt covers his face, but Michael sprays the rest of Walt's body. When Walt protects one section, Michael sprays another, and in a minute all of Walt's exposed skin below the head has a thick coating of the Dharpa super spray. Then Michael sprays the floor around Walt, being careful to keep his distance so as to not accidentally step into the frictionless area. After three more minutes Michael stops spraying.

Walt can sit up, but any attempt to stands results in his hands and feet shooting out again, leaving him splayed on the floor. He can roll, but his center of mass remains over a fixed spot. He gets sarcastic.

Walt: "How come you stopped?"

Michael: "Because the can is empty."

Walt: "So long as there's a good reason. You realize you still have to feed me."

Michael: "Fine, I'll get you something."

Michael goes to the galley and returns with a doughnut and a juice box. He tosses them to Walt.

Walt: "Gee thanks. Why are there juice boxes on a submarine?"

Michael: "Who knows, maybe they anticipated Aaron coming along. See you later."

Walt: "You know as soon as this sub hits a bump or makes a sharp turn or something I'll slide out of here, and then rub enough of this stuff off so I can move normally."

Michael: "Good point. I'll check on the control room and make sure we stay on a smooth steady course."

Michael leaves for the control room, where the controls are still on automatic. The best Walt can do after eating his breakfast is to sit with his arms around his shins. Wiping his hands on his legs is totally ineffective as Michael did a great job with the spray. Walt fumes at the realization he can't go anywhere despite not being tied up, behind bars, or drugged. As he sits there he plots his revenge.

Seeing that the submarine controls are in good order, Michael goes to the mess hall to join everyone else for breakfast.

Sayid: "Good morning. Shannon has made some wonderful pancakes."

Charlie: "Absolutely, they're delicious. Here, you want some butter?"

Michael: "Thank you. Did Claire get any …"

Charlie: "She got her own kind of butter."

Claire: "Yes, peanut butter is good on pancakes."

Hurley: "There's also syrup. Just be careful you don't spill any; that's hard to clean up."

Locke: "We'll all be careful. Just like we were with the kids last night."

Hurley: "I have to admit, you did do a great job with them. Kept them neatly in place the whole night. I hope they learn from your examples."

They finish breakfast, and Hurley and Libby wash and dry the dishes. Some of the others walk around the submarine.

Cindy: "Is that a periscope?"

Boone: "It has to be. Let's see how it works."

Boone fiddles with the controls, and soon the periscope is operational. "Anyone want to take a look?"

Kate: "I'll go for it."

Kate strides up to the viewfinder. "It's just sky and water. It's really boring. Here Jack, this job may be for you."

Jack: "Okay." Jack steps up, and quickly gets bored. "Somebody else should have a turn. Who hasn't done anything recently … Danielle?"

Danielle looks into the periscope. "Ooh, there's a cloud."

Charlie: "Can I see?"

Charlie takes a look, and isn't overwhelmingly impressed. "Claire?"

Claire: "Oh, all right." Claire steps up, and has the same reaction."Maybe Aaron would find this more interesting."

Charlie: "Is he still sleeping?"

Claire: "He was a few minutes ago. Let's go check."

Claire and Charlie go to their cabin and Aaron is just waking up in the drawer he has been sleeping in.

Claire: "How's my precious little Aaron? Want to have a look around?"

Aaron coos happily. Claire picks him up and takes him to the periscope. Aaron appears excited, and then waves his arms.

Claire: "I think he's hungry. Let's see what there is to eat."

Claire and Charlie head to the galley, where a few people are milling about. They open a refrigerator, and Aaron grabs a juice box.

Charlie: "Isn't that cute? I think he's trying to tell you something."

Claire: "That he likes grape? Well, at least it isn't solid food. I guess he might be old enough for juice now."

Charlie: "We can ask someone."

They find Jack.

Charlie: "What do you think of juice boxes?"

Jack: "They can be annoying. If you don't poke the straw in right, it gets bent, and then you can't use it. Let me try."

Aaron gives Jack the box, and Jack carefully aims the straw, and successfully pokes it into the box.

Jack: "How about that? I did it!"

Claire: "Congratulations. I'm very proud of you. Just like a big brother."

Charlie laughs. "The thought of you and Jack being closely related is funny. You're from Australia, and he's from the States, …"

Aaron grabs the juice box from jack and drinks enthusiastically.

Claire: "He likes it. Look at him."

Aaron gurgles and points to the floor.

Claire: "I think he wants me to put him down. I wonder if he's old enough to crawl now."

Charlie: "Is the floor clean enough?"

Claire: "After Hurley finished this floor is cleaner than that in any hospital."

Claire sets Aaron down, and he crawls off at a surprising speed.

Claire: "Wow, look at him go. Where are you going, Aaron?"

Aaron crawls out of the galley, and down a corridor. Everyone is impressed at how well he can move, and isn't paying too much attention where he is going. There are a lot of "awww" sounds. Soon Aaron crawls into the control room, and pushes a button on the floor. Claire picks him up.

Claire: "I think that's enough exercise for now. Say, did you just do something?"

A computer voice ominously states "Torpedo launch in forty-two seconds."

Some panic settles in.

Charlie: "Hey everyone, I think Grape-head just activated a torpedo launch."

Eko: "What a clever gag. I wish I thought of that."

Sawyer rushes in. "Don't panic."

Boone: "Why would there be a control so close to the floor?"

Locke: "So it is awkward to reach and wouldn't be hit accidentally?"

Ana-Lucia: "I guess they figured babies wouldn't be on board a submarine with torpedoes."

Computer voice: "Torpedo launch in twenty-three seconds."

Sayid anxiously goes over all the controls. "I don't remember anything about this in the instructions manual."

Shannon: "Maybe Ben and the Others didn't want us launching torpedoes. We might have targeted their village."

Sawyer: "Look, a panel revealing our position on a radar screen in opening."

Computer voice: "Torpedo launch in sixteen seconds. Torpedo launch in fifteen seconds."

Kate: "There wasn't enough time to say anything between that."

Computer voice: "Torpedo launch in eight seconds."

Hurley: "If you talk fast you can get one sentence in."

Computer voice: "Torpedo launch in four seconds."

Jack: "Any last words?"

There is a loud noise and the submarine shakes as the torpedo is launched.

Juliet: "What's going to happen now?"

Sayid: "The torpedo will continue until it hits something, and then explode."

Sawyer: "Unless there's nothing within its range. If its power source runs down, it will just sink to the ocean floor."

Sayid: "We can see its progress on this screen. There appears to be nothing out there."

The blip representing the torpedo slows down as it gets to the edge of the screen. It stops … and then turns around.

Juliet: "Why would it do that?"

Libby: "Alien forces are at work."

Sawyer: "I don't think that's it. The only thing I can think of is that it's a heat-seeking missile, and since it didn't find anything warm, it's now heading for the warmest object in the area."

Jack: "Meaning us."

Kate: "Congratulations on stating the obvious."

Shannon: "Can we execute evasive maneuvers?"

Sayid: "That torpedo is moving much faster than we can."

Danielle: "Won't there be nasty consequences if that thing hits us?"

Locke: "That's putting it mildly."

Charlie: "What can we do?"

An ominous chord is struck as the screen fades to black.


	80. Follow the Torpedo

The blip representing the torpedo makes its way toward the center of the radar screen on the submarine.

Kate: "Any brilliant ideas now?"

Sawyer: "I think it's safe to say that it's time to panic."

Panic ensues. There is a lot of chaotic running around in random directions. Danielle runs into Claire, causing Claire to fall to the floor. She has to let Aaron go in order to get up. While she does, Aaron crawls over to the panel where the torpedo controls are located, and pushes the button next to the one that launched the torpedo. There is another loud noise.

Boone: "What happened?"

Sawyer: "I think Potatohead just launched a second torpedo."

Ana-Lucia: "So if the first torpedo doesn't do us in, the second one will."

Sayid: "That's a possibility. You'd think they'd build this submarine strong enough to withstand a hit, but I don't know how much this can take."

Shannon: "Hey everybody, look at this."

Shannon points to the radar screen. As one torpedo blip heads directly down the center of the screen, the second heads directly up and toward the first.

Shannon: "Can they hit each other?"

Sawyer: "They're awfully small targets, but if they are heat-seeking missiles, there is a chance."

Everyone waits with bated breath as the two blips converge … and then simultaneously disappear. There is much shouting and rejoicing.

Jack: "Can we stop panicking now?"

Claire: "Aaron, you saved us!"

Sawyer: "Just a minute. The explosion caused by that collision will produce a shock wave that will strike us any sec…"

The submarine shakes violently and spins around out of control.

Kate: "It's good that we never officially stopped panicking."

Throughout the sub, items fall off shelves and get knocked over. Alex and Karl, forgotten about, fall out of bed.

Karl: "What happened? I'm sure I wasn't snoring too loud."

Alex: "That's 'loudly.' I can enforce grammar as well as the law."

Karl: "Sorry, I was half asleep. Should we find out what is going on?'

Alex: "Definitely. This could be an act of criminal sabotage."

Alex and Karl stagger through the rocking submarine toward the control room.

The rocking causes Walt, stuck for hours on the slippery patch made by Michael, to slide into a corner. Walt alertly takes advantage of this to push off, and slide down the corridor on his stomach. He swings around a corner and then manages to grab the frame of the bathroom, where he pulls himself into the shower and manages to turn on the water before slipping and falling to the floor. Fortunately for him the water comes at such force that the Dharpa brand super non-stick cooking spray washes off his skin in eight minutes. Relieved, Walt gets up and heads toward the commotion, and continues to plot his revenge against Michael.

In the control room, Sawyer and Sayid are frantically trying to regain control of the vessel.

Boone: "I bet some wires got crossed. We need to remove this panel and see what's behind there."

Shannon: "You'll only make this worse."

Locke: "It is hard to imagine how this could be much worse."

Shannon: "Don't underestimate Boone. Haven't you heard the saying that engineers who try to design things that are completely foolproof always underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools?"

Kate: "Is that a compliment?"

Boone ignores the bantering and unscrews a panel revealing lots of wires.

Boone: "Aha! These are messed up. I just need to connect this wire to this lead and …"

The submarine quickly lists to one side, and keeps going, doing a complete barrel roll. Everything that isn't bolted down bounces off the walls and ceiling.

Libby: "Aliens have taken over the sub!"

Danielle: "We keep on panicking, right?"

Emma: "Whee, that was fun!"

Zach: "Can we do that again?"

Cindy: "This isn't a playground. Now behave, or I'm sure we can find volunteers to stuff you into recycling bins."

Boone: "Oopsie. Let's try this instead."

Boone undoes the connection he just made, and attaches two different wires. This time the submarine spins around rapidly while remaining upright, like a centrifuge. Those who aren't holding onto something slide into walls facing the center of the submarine.

Shannon: "Boone, you're a moron!"

Boone: "Keep your bikini on. You can't accomplish anything if you never take a chance."

Emma and Zach squeal in delight at the sensation of being stuck to a wall. Boone manages to hang on, undoes what he just did, and tries another connection. The spinning stops but the submarine dives, levels off, and then the bow rises and goes backward over the sub as does a loop-the-loop.

Jin grunts something unintelligible.

Sun: "Boone, I'm beginning to agree with Shannon that you may have lost your mind."

Boone: "I have not!"

Shannon: "That may be true because you never had a mind to begin with."

Zach: "But that was fun!"

Emma: "Yeah, for once my idiot brother is right."

Michael: "Stop that. Cindy, if you need a volunteer to handle those two, I'm available."

Boone continues his efforts, and rearranges more wires. This time the submarine stabilizes perfectly.

Boone: "I guess the fourth time's the charm."

Shannon: "It's supposed to be 'the third time's the charm'."

Ana-Lucia: "But 'three; isn't one of the numbers, while 'four' is."

The mention of the numbers causes everyone to look at Hurley, who is trembling markedly.

Hurley: "The sub … it was so clean … and now …"

Charlie puts an arm around Hurley's shoulder. "Cheer up, old chap. We'll all pitch in and clean the ship up."

Desmond: "That's right. We'll have this old boat shipshape in no time."

Sawyer: "Actually, it will take quite a bit of time. Several hours, I should say."

Sayid: "Yes. We just need to secure this room so that nothing like this recent … uh … incident … never happens again. It does appear that there has been no damage."

Everyone does their jobs in straightening out the submarine.

* * *

The recent events are observed back in Othersville.

Goodwin: "Ben, you seemed awfully calm throughout that episode. Weren't you worried at all?"

Ben: "No, that submarine can take many torpedo hits. We've used it on many occasions in the past, and wouldn't use a fragile vessel."

Ethan: "So why didn't you tell us the Oceanics were never in danger?"

Ben: "Because that would have ruined the suspense and damaged the ratings."

Tom: "Doesn't revealing that now sort of ruin the atmosphere?"

Ben: "Shut up and keep monitoring that meddlesome science team."

* * *

The science team from the freighter reaches their downed helicopter and begins repairs, which proceed amazingly well. After a few hours, they contact the freighter.

Naomi: "Hello?"

Captain Gault: "Gault here. What's your status?"

Naomi: "Repairs are proceeding faster than we anticipated."

Frank: "That's right; I think we can have this bird up and running in a couple days."

Gault: "Very good. In that case, we have another plan. The last one may have been too elaborate, so we'll go with a quick strike. Swoop in on the helicopter at night, drop a percussion bomb on Linus's house, pick him up and carry him off. What do you think?"

Daniel: "It will take precise timing to drop the bomb from a height sufficient for us not to be affected and to knock people on the ground up, but I think we're up to it."

Charlotte: "Who's going to pick Linus up?"

Gault: "Keamy is recovering and should be fit in a couple days."

Charlotte: "Is he no longer terrified of the orange smoke?"

Gault: "He is still afraid of that, but we've been convincing him that the smoke can't bother him inside that sonic security perimeter, and he has a score to settle with Linus."

Miles: "Do we know that Linus controls that orange smoke?"

Gault: "We're not sure of much of anything."

Daniel: "Has that security perimeter been repaired?"

Gault: "We don't have a way of knowing that, but it's the kind of thing those Others wouldn't let go for long, and they've had several days to work on that."

Naomi: "Sounds good. We'll update you on our progress and let you know when we're ready to fly."

* * *

Ben and company have been listening in on the radio conversation.

Mikhail: "So what do you think?"

Ben: "We can't take a chance on their capturing me. I mean, us. We have to move the island."

Ethan: "When, exactly?"

Ben: "After that helicopter crew has left the invisible bubble surrounding this island, and before they return with their mercenary team."

Goodwin: "And just who is going to move the island for us?"

Ben: "I've thought of the perfect pair for the job: Joanna and Seth."

Tom: "Who?"

Ben: "The forgotten characters. Joanna was the girl who Boone saved from drowning four days after the crash, and Seth was the pilot who had a chance to encounter the smoke monster but sensibly stayed inside the cockpit with Jack and Kate when there was an ominous noise outside. Ethan was the only one who met them."

Ethan: "Oh wow, that's right, they were there, but I totally forgot about them. They really are minor characters."

Goodwin: "Like that red-shirt guy Nathan we assimilated soon after the crash. Why don't we use him?"

Ben: "Because I didn't think of it. We may have some other use for him later."

Danny: "So what are we going to do now?"

Benny: "I will personally convince them that turning the wheel is the best way for them to get off the island. They've been ignored for so much that they're bound to jump at the chance to get some action."

Mikhail: "Aren't you worried that they may reveal some secrets?"

Ben: "No one will believe their story."

Ethan: "I guess it would sound unbelievable if someone who pops up in Tunisia claims they just came from a tropical island in the Pacific."

Ben: "Actually, they'll pop up in Chad, but the idea is the same."

Mikhail: "Are you going to the Oceanics' camp alone?"

Ben: "It's better that someone comes along with me. They might have heard bad things about Ethan and Goodwin, and I think Danny has a wife who's been completely ignored, so I'll go with Mikhail. We may as well start immediately. Gather some food and supplies and we'll be off."

* * *

On his way to the center of activity Walt finds Michael cleaning up the spilled items.

Walt: "Hi Dad."

Michael: "Walt! How did you get out?"

Walt: "When the submarine rocked and rolled I bounced off the walls and was able to slide to the shower and clean up."

Michael: "Darn."

Walt: "I promise I didn't cause the sub to do that."

Michael: "I know; it was Boone. Maybe it comes from spending too much time with John. Now help us with the cleanup."

Walt: "Isn't there anything else I can do?"

Michael: "Well, we could use someone to man the periscope."

Walt: "Really? That sounds neat."

Walt trots over to the periscope, is captivated by the sights for four minutes, and then gets bored at the endless sea and sky. When Michael is not around, Walt sees Sayid and remembers the Iraqi has recently become a fountain of information.

Walt: "Did I miss anything interesting last night?"

Sayid: "It depends on what is considered interesting. Shannon prepared a nice meal, though there was something funny about the wine. Ana-Lucia continued to believe that all problems can be solved by massages, and Juliet threw herself at another man every fifteen minutes. Juliet also told us that the Others used projections of you covered in slime to freak out Shannon for entertainment purposes."

Walt: "So that's why they had me say those stupid things after I got dunked several times in that slimy water booth in Room 23. But what's that about wine?"

Sayid: "It appears someone switched red wine with grape juice. I had something of a hangover when I woke up. Your father blamed you, but John pointed out you were already being recycled when the switch took place, so you were absolved on that occasion."

Walt: "Wonderful. Did you find out who did it?"

Sayid: "Not officially, but based on body language and recent characteristic traits it was almost certainly Eko. He's the one that convinced us not to worry about it, and with the contemporary level of inebriation no one felt like pursuing the matter further."

Walt: "Thanks. You make a good officer."

Sayid leaves and Emma and Zach find Walt at the periscope.

Walt: "I'm getting bored. Can you think of something fun to do?"

Zach: "I'd like to get back at Eko for writing 'I love bunnies' on my chest. It took forever to wash that off."

Emma: "Actually I can still see it."

Zach: "Well, you still have a faint mustache."

Walt: "Getting Eko back sounds good. He set me up to get the blame for that wine-switching thing."

Zach: "What can we do?"

Emma: "Something not too big at first. I don't want to get into too much trouble."

Walt: "Nobody's going to do anything worse to us than what's already happened. How about we switch some food of Eko's?"

Emma: "Like what? Sugar and salt?"

Walt: "Yeah, that could work. Does Eko put sugar in coffee or cereal?"

Zach: "I think so."

Walt: "Good. You two can distract him while I make the switch. Then we'll all walk away casually."

They go to the mess hall and find Michael and Eko eating, among others. Michael is drinking a cup of coffee while Eko is drinking a bowl of soup. Eko makes a face.

Eko: "Yuck, this needs more taste. Is there some salt around here?"

Michael: "There has to be."

Walt, Emma, and Zach exchange glances. They set their plan into motion.

Emma: "Hi, Mr. Eko. We just wanted to say there're no hard feelings about what you wrote on us when we were taped to the wall. Writing 'I love bunnies' on Zach was actually pretty funny."

Eko and Michael turn to Emma and Zach, while Walt sneaks around behind the adults.

Zach: "Yeah, and Emma's mustache looked good. We were thinking, can you play a joke on someone else?"

Eko laughs, and Walt takes the opportunity to quickly empty a salt shaker into a bowl, fill the salt shaker with sugar from another bowl, and pour the salt into the sugar bowl. Then he backs away to the doorway.

Eko: "Do you have someone in mind?"

Emma: "Umm … how about Juliet?"

Eko: "Maybe." Distracted, Eko reaches for the salt shaker and pours a lot of sugar into his soup.

Michael: "Any reason for Juliet?"

Zach: "Well, she was part of those Others' experiments and nothing ever happens to her."

Michael takes a sip of his coffee, and grimaces. "Man, is this ever bitter. Let's sweeten this up."

Michael grabs the sugar bowl, and not seeing a spoon handy, pours a goodly quantity of salt into his coffee. Eko takes a big slurp of his soup, and gags.

Eko: "Arrgh! So sweet!" Eko lunges for a pitcher of water and gulps it down.

Michael is slightly confused, and takes a big swig of his coffee. His face undergoes a contortion, and then he spits the coffee out. He also gulps down water.

Michael: "Yuck! What …?"

Eko and Michael look suspiciously at Emma and Zach.

Eko: "What did you do …:"

Emma and Zach look innocent.

Emma: "What are you talking about? We've just been standing here."

Michael: "So you have. Wasn't Walt with you a minute ago?"

Zach: "No."

Michael and Eko look around, but Walt has scooted away toward the bathroom.

Michael: "That's long enough of a break; we have to get back to work."

Emma and Zach are wary, and head off down the corridor to find Walt.

Zach is grinning: "Did you see that?"

Walt: "Yes, it was great!"

Emma: "It was, but they might be suspicious of us."

Walt: "We just have to act normal. I'll go back to the periscope like a good soldier."

Emma: "I guess we can do some cleaning."

Zach: "Maybe we should hide and weasel out of it."

Emma: :"Do you know of any good hiding places?"

Zach: "Maybe. Come, let's look."

* * *

Eko and Michael have a discussion.

Michael: "I'm sure Walt was behind this. Trying to poison us."

Eko: "That's a bit of an exaggeration, but I have a plan. I saw something useful in the supply closet."

Eko and Michael make plans. Eko goes to the supply closet and gets a tube of Dharpa brand superglue, and then applies some to the handles of the periscope. Michael finds Walt, who acts like he's just coming out of the bathroom.

Walt acts innocent: "Hi Dad, what's up?"

Michael acts innocent: "Nothing much now. But don't you have a job to do?"

Walt: "Yes, I'm on it. I just needed a little break."

Walt strides to the periscope, grasps the handles, and looks into the viewfinder. "Still nothing but water and sky. Hey …!"

Walt discovers his hands are stuck to the periscope handles. Eko appears, pushes a button, and the periscope raises, forcing Walt to hang by his hands with his feet off the floor. Michael laughs quietly while peeking from around a corner. Eko laughs loudly.

Eko: "Gotcha!"

Eko's loud laughter brings the attention of Juliet. She enters the room, and notices Walt dangling, similar to when he was suspended in Room 23 and squirted by 108 cans of Silly String.

Juliet: "Hi Walt, what are you doing?"

Walt loses his composure. "Just hanging, what does it look like?"

Juliet groans, and then says, "Hey Eko, you're a hard-working man who needs to relax a little." Juliet moves her hands over Eko's broad shoulders.

Eko is taken by surprise. "Um, I wasn't going to leave Walt hanging like that."

Juliet: "After that terrible pun he can stay there a while."

Eko: "You know best."

Juliet and Eko head for an empty cabin. Walt thinks to protest but realizes it won't do any good.

* * *

Emma and Zach reach the torpedo room, which is near but separate from the control room.

Zach: "We can hide in these empty torpedo tubes."

Emma: "Isn't that dangerous?"

Zach: "Those two torpedoes have already been shot. What could possibly happen?"

Emma: "I can't think of anything. Guess you're right."

Emma and Zach worm their way feet first into the two empty cylinders, which are open at the end near the wall so they can breathe.

* * *

After an hour, Bea happens upon Walt, which does not get his hopes up.

Walt: "Hi Bea, how's it going?"

Bea: "I almost got left out of this episode."

Walt: "That would be terrible. Now I suppose you're going to take my picture."

Bea: "Thanks, I almost forgot."

Bea departs and quickly returns with her camera, and snaps a picture.

Bea: "Now pull yourself up and look through the viewfinder. I know you're strong enough."

Walt can't resist the compliment, and does as Bea asks. Bea gets another picture.

Bea: "That was a good picture. Your muscles continue to develop very nicely. Now can I have one of you smiling?"

Walt has just about had enough. "I don't have anything to smile about."

Bea: "Won't you for me?"

Walt gets an idea. "I'll smile if you get Eko to get me down from here."

Bea: "Deal."

Bea finds Eko and Juliet as Juliet spots Boone walking down the corridor. Juliet lets go of Eko and chases down Boone and latches on to him.

Juliet: "Boone, you were wonderful back there getting the submarine back in order. Let's go somewhere where it's quiet."

Boone: "Um, okay."

As they go to another cabin, Bea gets to ask Eko, "Can you please get Walt down so he'll smile for a picture?"

Eko: "Walt? He's still up there? I forgot about him."

Bea: "That's perfectly understandable."

Bea and Eko go back to Walt hanging from the periscope.

Bea: "Eko agreed to the deal. Now smile."

Walt sighs and smiles, but Eko spreads more superglue on the floor below Walt's feet. Bea gets her picture, and Eko pushes a button, lowering Walt to the floor. Eko lets the viewfinder reach the level of Walt's eyes before he stops the periscope.

Walt: "It's about time … hey, I can't move my feet!"

Eko: "The deal was I'd lower you to the floor, and that's what I did. Now you can look through the periscope constantly until we reach land."

Bea snaps one more picture and then she and Eko leave Walt, who is in a much more comfortable position than before, with his elbows bent at right angles while standing erect.


	81. Par Sous marin

On the island, Ben and Mikhail reach the Pearl Station as it gets dark.

Ben: "This will be a good place to spend the night."

Mikhail: "Right, and we can spy on what's going on in the other stations."

They pull back the opening in the ground and climb down the ladder into the Pearl Station, and switch on the monitoring equipment.

Mikhail: "Not too much going on."

Ben: "I'm afraid so. But look, there are Joanna and Seth in the Swan. They look bored out of their skulls. They'll be the perfect subjects to turn the donkey wheel."

Mikhail: "Definitely. Guess we'll get a good night's sleep and speak to them tomorrow."

Ben: "Sure, but it's still pretty early, and there are all these neat computers here. I challenge you to a game of Donkey Kong."

Mikhail: "A … computer video arcade game?"

Ben: "What's wrong? You chicken?"

Mikhail: "Ha! I am a master of strategy. I've played chess more recently, but … you're on!"

Ben: "I'm the most wizardly master of strategy around here. Prepare to meet thy doom."

Ben and Mikhail get caught up in the moment and play hours of video games. They are pretty evenly matched, each winning his share.

* * *

Naomi, Charlotte, Daniel, Frank, and Miles make major progress on fixing the helicopter. They drive the Edsel back to the Swan.

Rose: "Good evening, you young people. How's it going?"

Frank: "Rather well. The helicopter may be airworthy in a couple days. What have you been up to?"

Rose: "Bernard has been trying to show me the finer points of golf."

Bernard: "It is really nice that the course isn't crowded. Actually we have it all to ourselves."

Rose: "This will make a very nice retirement community."

Naomi: "But what about Ben and those Others?"

Rose: "They haven't been bothering us, and we won't bother them."

Daniel: "I'd feel much better about that if those Others were removed."

Charlotte: "What a wonderful idea – we could spend a lot of time here if that were the case, don't you think, Danny boy?"

Daniel: "Umm … we'll have to see what the situation is like if and when that happens."

Miles: "I'm for getting out of here as fast as possible. Too many weird things happen here."

Naomi: "In any case we need a good night's rest so we get working on the chopper early tomorrow morning."

* * *

Sun: "Bea, that bald look isn't doing it for you. We should do something about that."

Bea: "You mean cut someone's hair off and glue it to my head like a wig?"

Sun: "That's not exactly what I had in mind. If we did that, then someone else might have a hair problem."

Bea: "I see what you mean. Hey, I have an idea."

Bea scurries off to find a scissors and the Dharpa brand superglue. She cuts off her plain drab brown dress at the knee, and then cuts it into lots of thin strips. She then returns to Sun.

Sun: "Bea, what are you doing?"

Bea: "I found some great material for a hairpiece. Can you glue these on to make me look beautiful?"

Sun: "I think so. Why don't you have a seat here, and hold still."

Sun glues some of the strips onto Bea's head, and then tries various combinations. Several of those look like messes, and then Sun decides that braiding would make Bea's "hair" more manageable. Eventually Sun settles on exquisite looking dreadlocks.

Sun: "There you go, you look stunning."

They find a mirror, and Bea is impressed.

Bea: "You did a great job; I do look stunning. Now all I have to do is find a date for the prom."

Bea whistles as she skips away.

* * *

Walt remains glued to the periscope handles and the floor. During that time, everyone passes him at some point but no one offers to help, which does not surprise Walt. Four hours later it gets dark, and Walt figures it is time he try to talk his way out of this.

Walt: "It's too dark to see anything now."

Michael: "We could still come up to land with lights on it. Perhaps you'll see a lighthouse."

Walt thinks of some other reason to be unglued.

Walt: "I'm hungry."

Michael: "You would be. Do you expect me to feed you?"

Walt: "If you don't let me go it looks like you have to."

Michael growls. "I suppose you've had enough. Are you going to try anything else if we let you go?"

Walt: "No."

Michael: "All right then. Eko, where's the solvent for this superglue?"

Eko: "Solvent?"

Michael: "You mean you glued my son here and had no idea how to unstick him?"

Eko: "I wasn't thinking that far ahead."

Michael laughs: "No big deal. Walt can stay like that until we reach land. Maybe Emma can feed him in the meantime."

Walt: "What? Could you try looking for some solvent?"

Ana-Lucia: "We could put it up to a vote."

Hurley: "Walt does look rather neat like that. It might be a shame to mess it up."

Walt: "Fine, I promise not to make a mess."

Sawyer: "Acetone is a common solvent for glue. There should be some around here somewhere. And if not, it could be fun synthesizing some."

Claire: "As long as you don't need peanut butter."

Sawyer: "Well, there could be some useful oils in that, but that probably won't be necessary."

Claire: "It better not be. Peanut butter is too precious a commodity to waste on something like that."

Michael: "Definitely."

Shannon: "What about nail polish remover?"

Sayid: "That could work, but that might not be a substance likely to be found on a submarine. First, do you know if there is any nail polish around?"

Shannon: "I guess you're right. I didn't see any."

Boone: "If all else fails, we can saw off the periscopes handles and cut out the floor from around Walt's feet."

Jack: "It's good to hear a suggestion that makes sense."

Kate: "Why don't we just spread out and search for the acetone?"

Walt: "That's a better idea than Boone and Jack's. And can you please hurry, my shoulders are getting sore."

Ana-Lucia: "Oh, why didn't you say so?"

Ana-Lucia goes into her masseuse mode and rubs Walt's shoulders.

Walt: "Aah, there isn't that big a hurry."

Charlie: "The sooner we find acetone or something, the sooner Ana-Lucia will be available for other customers."

That gets everyone else searching.

Libby and Hurley chance upon the torpedo room.

Hurley: "I thought I heard something in here."

Libby: "Yes, look, down there! We're being invaded by aliens! Come out with your tentacles up!"

Emma: "I don't have tentacles, but Zach does."

Zach: "Shut up, you alien!"

Emma and Zach emerge from their hiding places.

Hurley: "Libby, that's Emma and Zach. They're not aliens."

Libby: "They just confessed."

Hurley: "They're just playing around. But what were you two doing in there? That's where the torpedoes were launched from."

Zach: "We were hiding. But those torpedoes were already launched."

Hurley: "But if those buttons were pushed again, maybe you would be launched."

Libby: "That might not be such a bad thing. Now why were you two juvenile delinquents hiding?"

Emma: "Would you believe we were playing 'hide and seek'?"

Libby: "From whom?"

Zach: "Um, Walt?"

Libby: "I find that hard to believe."

Emma: "Why?"

Libby: "Because Walt is currently glued to the periscope and the floor."

Zach: "Cool, can we see him?"

Emma and Zach run out of the room to laugh at Walt before they have to tell Libby they were hiding from Michael and Eko about the practical joke of switching the salt and sugar. When they stop laughing,

Zach: "How come Walt gets a massage?"

Ana-Lucia: "Because he's a bit sore from standing here for hours."

Zach gets a brilliant idea, and hits Emma, not too hard. Emma is surprised, and hits him back harder.

Zach: "Ow, that twisted my back. I need a massage."

Emma: "What? No, your hit wrenched my back. I need a massage."

Ana-Lucia: "If you two can stop fighting, it will be your turn in a few minutes. I'm almost done with Walt."

It is difficult, but Emma and Zach manage to keep quiet and stake out another room for back rubs. Walt is feeling much better and doesn't pay attention when Ana-Lucia leaves him.

In a room adjacent to the supply room, Desmond finds more cleaning chemicals, with a large container of acetone with the Dharpa logo on it. Desmond takes it back to the room with the periscope.

Desmond: "I found it."

Michael: "Too bad."

Jack: "How are you going to use it?"

Jin takes charge. He speaks to Sun, who translates.

Sun: "Jin says we should apply the acetone with a rubber bulb syringe thing. He says he found one while we were searching. He'll unstick Walt's feet first."

Jin opens the acetone container, squeezes the rubber bulb syringe and sticks it into the acetone, and then lets the bulb inflate, drawing the acetone in. He then carefully squirts it around the outline of Walt's feet on the floor, and is able to squirt some under the arches of Walt's feet, maximizing the contact between glue and solvent.

Sun: "How does that feel, Walt?"

Walt rocks a little. "It feels a little looser, but … that stuff tickles my feet."

Sun: "Do you want Jin to stop and leave you stuck here?"

Walt sighs. "Why do I get tickled so often when I'm tied up or stuck or something?"

Emma: "Because you're so darn cute."

Bea: "And it's a lot of fun."

Walt: "Just get it over with."

Jin continues to squirt acetone around Walt's feet. Walt rocks his feet harder and harder, and laughs louder and louder. After four minutes Walt is on the verge of hyperventilating when his feet break free of the floor.

Hurley: "That left a bit of mess here. Walt, can you get out of the way while I clean this up? The acetone sure is handy here."

Zach: "I got it. Is this the control for the periscope?"

Eko: "Yes."

Zach pushes the button, and the periscope rises with Walt's hands still glued to it. Zach doesn't push the button again until the periscope is retracted almost up to the ceiling.

Hurley: "Thanks, I got it now."

Hurley quickly cleans the spot where Walt was standing.

Hurley: "There, good as new!"

Libby: "You're wonderful, Hurley."

Jack: "Good that's taken care of. Now we can go back to normal."

People start to leave.

Walt: "Hey aren't you forgetting something?"

Michael: "You are nice and out of the way up there."

Jin gestures.

Zach: "Okay, Walt's coming down."

Zach pushes the periscope down button, but just before Walt's feet reach the floor, Emma pushes the periscope up button, sending Walt back to the ceiling. The pattern continues.

Walt: "Isn't this overdoing it?"

Zach: "This would be a cool amusement park ride."

Nobody stops the siblings from their new game for another eight minutes, and then they tire of it.

Sun: "Bring the periscope all the way down. We don't want the acetone running down Walt's arms and into his armpits where he'll get severely tickled which might cause him to rip the skin off his hands."

Walt: "I'm glad someone cares about me."

Juliet: "Remember that we don't want you to get too agitated and change one of the numbers after you straightened all of them out, and tearing your skin off might do that. This is really for everyone's benefit."

With the periscope lowered almost to the floor, Jin applies more acetone around Walt's stuck fingers and palms. It takes another eight minutes for Walt's hands to become unstuck.

Walt: "Thank you, Jin and Sun."

Michael: "Well Walt, have you learned your lesson?"

Walt: "I need to figure out better if what you're going to do to me is worth the risk of my getting caught doing something fun to you."

Michael: "What? Whatever you mean by that, if you act up again, I can slap some superglue to your shoulder blades and stick you to a wall or floor or something where you won't get in the way."

Zach: "How about the ceiling?"

Walt: "No one asked for your opinion. And you were in on it."

Cindy: "Yes, we should do make sure Emma and Zach don't repeat their shenanigans."

Shannon: "Let's have the wonderful dinner I prepared first and then worry about that."

There is widespread agreement to that suggestion. The children eat at the separate little table found the day before. Everyone eats a good meal.

Charlie: "That was delicious, Shannon. My compliments to the chef."

Shannon: "Why thank you, you're such a charmer."

Sayid: "Shannon is the best. Now according to Sawyer's and my calculations, we should reach Fiji early tomorrow morning."

Claire: "Thank goodness. We're almost out of peanut butter."

Kate: "I'm sure a good night's rest is in order. How about I sing a lullaby?"

Sawyer: "I don't think that's necessary."

The kids finish their dinner, and Walt sneaks off to shake pepper on the sheets in the cabin Michael and Bea slept in the previous night. Walt empties the shaker to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to him. He gets back without any of the adults seeing him.

The grown-ups leave their tables in the mess hall.

Danielle: "You said you had to make sure the kids don't bother you while you're asleep. How about we make a net trap for them?"

Locke: "That will take too much time."

Danielle: "What do you think we should do?"

Locke: "We could ask them."

Locke, Danielle, Michael, and Bea visit the kids.

Locke: "What do you think we should do to you?"

Zach: "Emma never got wrapped up in plastic wrap like Walt and I did."

Walt: "Good idea. I believe in equal rights."

Emma: "Were you able to escape?"

Walt: "Uh, no."

Emma: "Wimps."

Walt: "That stuff is really strong. You could never break loose."

Michael: "That settles it. Let's get this done quickly. I saw some plastic wrap in the kitchen."

Soon Emma and Zach are wrapped up tight from their ankles to their shoulders.

Michael: "You too."

Walt: "Why? I already did my time stuck to the periscope."

Michael: "This is for the next sneaky evil rotten dirty underhanded thing you're going to do."

Walt: "You make me sound like Ethan."

Walt lets Michael and Locke wrap him up tightly, figuring that he won't be accused of planting the pepper. Then the kids are laid down gently on their backs in the corner that had been super slippery in the morning. The kids struggle, and make no progress.

Emma: "I guess you were right. Can we really sleep like this?"

Locke: "I can help. This is like a sleeper hold. I just put pressure on your carotid arteries for a few seconds, and …"

A few seconds later the kids are out cold.

Locke: "That will keep them out until morning."

Michael: "Thanks John. Good night."

Michael and Bea go to their cabin.

Michael: "Bea, I must say you look ravishing."

Bea: "You're such a cute hunk."

They snuggle on the bunk, but soon start sneezing, and scramble out into the corridor.

Bea: "What is it? Are you allergic to my new hair?"

Michael: "That can't be it. We're not sneezing out here. I'm sure Walt is behind this somehow."

They check on the kids, but they are out cold.

Bea: "They couldn't have done it this time. Let's just clean up that room, and think about our future life together."

Bea runs her hands over Michael's shoulders and chest and he gets lost in the moment.

Michael: "Whatever you say."

* * *

Dawn breaks, and the submarine comes to a grinding halt. The crew rushes to the control room.

Jack: "What was that?"

Sayid: "It sounds like we hit some rocks on the ocean floor. We must be close to land. Let's have a look."

They look through the periscope.

Jack: "There's an island!"

Claire: "Is it Fiji?"

Jack: "I can't tell."

Boone: "Well, let's take a look."

Boone climbs the ladder to the hatch on top, but it won't open.

Boone: "The lid is stuck."

Others examine the hatch.

Sayid: "The top is above water, but it looks like the locking mechanism jammed, probably as a result of the shock wave when those torpedoes collided."

Kate: "What are we going to do?"

Jack: "Run out of air?"

Kate: "Should we start panicking again?"

Sawyer: "No, we have time, but there is something wrong. Look at this – the morning sun is behind us. We're looking at the east side of the island, and it should be south. I don't think that's Fiji."

Charlie: "Then … where are we?"

Ominous dramatic music is played as the scene fades to black.

* * *

Penny and Abaddon complete the flight from Newfoundland to Los Angeles and stop and rest for the night.


	82. The Substitute Characters

Ana-Lucia: "Maybe the instruction manual says what to do in this situation."

Ana-Lucia finds the manual. "Here it is. In case the hatch gets jammed, it can be opened from the outside by placing a small amount of plastic explosive on the lid in the position shown in this diagram. Then attach a long fuse to it, and light it. The plastic explosive, fuse, and a matchbook can be found behind a sliding panel in the torpedo room."

Locke: "But if we're trapped inside, how do we get the explosive outside?"

Boone: "Looks like someone didn't think all the way through this."

Shannon: "There is a way outside – the torpedo tubes! We could shoot a person outside. It's not too far to the shore, and the torpedo opening can't be too far below the water's surface."

Hurley: "Those are too small for adults to fit in."

Libby: "But someone smaller could."

Many people look to Claire.

Claire: "I am not going to offer my child for the crazy stunt!"

Michael: "That's all right; I'll offer mine."

Sawyer: "Good man, but do we really want to risk everything on Supergluey?"

Locke: "We can increase our chances by firing Emma and Zach through the torpedo tubes as well. You'd think there's a good chance at least one would make it."

Libby: "That sounds like a fine way to redeem themselves."

The group goes over to the kids, still lying on the floor wrapped in the strong plastic wrap.

Michael: "Good morning, kids."

Walt: "It isn't that good so far."

Emma: "What was that bump?"

Zach: "Yeah, it woke me up."

Michael: "I have some news for you. The submarine hit some rocks near an island, and the hatch is jammed shut, probably due to the torpedo shock wave. The instruction manual tells how to open it, and we need you to be shot through the torpedo tubes, climb outside on top, plant a plastic explosive, and detonate it."

Zach: "That sounds like fun."

Emma: "Isn't that kind of dangerous?"

Walt: "What happens if we decide not to do this?"

Michael: "Then you'll spend your last few hours lying here slowly suffocating with the rest of us."

Walt: "Given those choices, I'll go through the torpedo tube."

Emma: "Me, too."

Zach: "Me, three."

Michael: "Good, then that's settled. Let's get you out of there."

Michael, Bea, and Cindy find ends of the plastic wrap on the kids, and pull, causing the kids to spin and unwind down the corridor.

Sun: "Isn't this idea dangerous?"

Ana-Lucia: "The instruction manual shows that most of the seat cushions here can be used as flotation devices."

Locke: "It would also be nice if one of you goes to the periscope so we can see you're all right."

Sawyer: "Great, we can strap the cushions on and they'll bob to the surface almost immediately in case they need them."

Claire: "What about air?"

Boone: "They can bring along bags of air that will last for a few minutes. But it sounds like that won't be necessary."

Sayid: "We can put some plastic explosives, matches, and fuses in waterproof bags. Have each of them carry some so only one of them is necessary to blow the hatch."

Hurley: "They should probably have something to eat before their trip."

Sawyer: "It will take a few minutes to get everything ready, so go for it."

A few minutes later, Walt, Emma, and Zach are fed and ready to go. They each get two floatable seat cushions put on their fronts and backs with their arms through straps, a box with explosive, matches, and a length of wire fuse, and a large plastic bag inflated with air. Everyone goes down to the torpedo room, and the kids climb into empty tubes.

Kate: "Who's going to do the honors?"

Charlie: "I think the one person who's shown a great aptitude for launching torpedoes should get the honor."

Claire: "What a wonderful suggestion. Go for it, Aaron!"

Michael: "Remember to hold your breaths!"

Claire sets Aaron on the floor. The baby crawls along the wall, and pushes three buttons in a row launching the older children into the ocean.

The plan works perfectly. The children bob up to the surface in four seconds and scramble to the top of the submarine. Emma swims to the top of the periscope and taps on it.

Cindy: "Emma is up there, and it looks like everything is all right."

Jack: "Does that mean I can stop holding my breath now?"

Michael: "I wasn't talking to you, but yes."

Outside, Walt feels funny. "What came over me in there? I was acting like a total jerk."

Emma: "You weren't that bad."

Zach: "You were pretty funny."

Walt: "But I was thinking that the main reason I'm doing this was so I could keep on tormenting Dad, not to save everyone. I was so selfish."

Emma: "Don't worry about that; we have a job to do."

The trio puts the plastic explosives in place on the submarine hatch, and then sticks the fuses in. They each light an end of one fuse.

Emma: "At least one of these ought to work."

Zach: "If they all work; it'll be a huge explosion, right?"

Walt: "Of course, which means … we better get away from here, fast!"

They dive into the water and start swimming for the shore. They aren't fast enough. All three plastic explosive pieces detonate perfectly, causing the hatch to unlock, the submarine to lurch and get clear of the rocks, and a large wave to develop. The wave takes up the children and carries them rapidly to the shore, across and beach, and forty-two meters into the jungle where they hit the ground rather softly, landing in a deep pit filled with vines and leaves.

* * *

The submarine rocks violently for eight seconds and then stabilizes.

Sawyer: "We better weigh the anchor to make it safe to get out and see where we are."

Jack: "How much do you think the anchor weighs?"

Sayid: "Probably 108 kilograms, but that's not what Sawyer meant. Let me check on our situation."

Sayid climbs up and opens the lid of the hatch. "It looks good. We're pretty close to a beach."

Claire: "How will we get Aaron ashore?"

Boone: "We can rig up a zip-line. Tie a rope from the top of the periscope to a tree or something on shore, and put Aaron in a basket and slide him along."

Eko: "What a brilliant idea."

Sawyer: "Since I'm such a great swimmer, I get the zip-line set up."

Sayid: "Hey, I'm a great swimmer."

Boone: "I used to be a lifeguard."

Shannon: "You were a lifeguard for a swimming pool, and the only life you could guard in that was algae."

Boone: "Don't be ridiculous. Remember I saved Joanna?"

Cindy: "Joanna? I don't remember her."

Locke: "I think everyone's forgotten about Joanna."

* * *

After a night of intense video games, Ben and Mikhail get up from the Pearl Station and complete their trek to the Swan Station. Bernard and Rose are off playing golf, leaving only Joanna and Seth around. Joanna is wearing an orange bikini and Seth is wearing his decaying pilot's uniform.

Ben: "Good day. My name is Benjamin Linus, and this is my associate Mikhail …"

Mikhail: "Bakunin. Don't you know my last name after all these years?"

Ben: "Sorry, I didn't think it wasn't very important."

Seth: "Why are you here? Aren't you the guys who caused us so much trouble?"

Ben: "You could say that, but I had terrific reasons. Now we are here to ask you a favor."

Joanna: "Why should we help you?"

Ben: "I'm offering you a chance to get off this island for good. You deserve the opportunity because your fellow passengers ignored you for so long."

Mikhail: "What is your story, anyway?"

Joanna: "It looked like I might be a major character, but I turned out to be a plot device so that Boone could save me from drowning in Chapter 5. I've barely been heard from since."

Mikhail: "With that outfit I'd have thought you'd receive more attention."

Joanna: "I guess. It wasn't planned. After I got back to dry land, I looked for my clothes, but they were gone. That sort of thing seemed to be happening to everyone here."

Ben: "It's quite possible that Walt's dog Vincent ran off with them."

Seth coughs. "Actually, I hid them. Joanna looks great in that bikini, and since I've been mainly ignored since the plot device in Chapter 2 where Jack, Kate, and Charlie saved me from that awful thing that was uprooting trees, I wanted to enjoy myself some."

Joanna: "You devil. But how come you didn't lose your shirt like most of the males?"

Seth: "I don't look that great shirtless. More in the Hurley and Bernard category."

Ben: "Enough of that. I have reason to believe the island is in danger, and it needs to be moved. The problem is that whoever moves it gets sent across the world, and I and my associates must remain here to defend it."

Joanna: "You can move the island? That's rather far-fetched."

Ben: "So is a polar bear on a tropical island that falls in love with a Labrador."

Joanna: "When you put it that way, it does sound reasonable."

Seth: "It would be good to get back into the action again. It's annoying when the A-Team does all that cool stuff and we're more like the F-Team. What do we have to do?"

Ben: "There is a device, a wheel, that is far underground a station called the Orchid. When you turn it, the island moves, and the person or persons in contact with the wheel get sent to the Sahara Desert, specifically in Chad."

Joanna: "That sounds kind of isolated."

Ben: "If you agree to this my contact on the outside world, Eloise, will meet you and arrange for your transportation home. But you must promise not to tell anyone of your time here."

Seth: "It's hard to imagine anyone believing us if we did tell them all that went on here."

Joanna: "Won't we have to make up a story?"

Ben: "You can say that plane crashed like everyone believes, got amnesia, just regained you memory, but don't know what happened. You could have been rescued by some native islanders in the general area."

Joanna: "I guess that could work."

Seth: "Just a minute. You have a reputation for lying. How can we trust you?"

Ben: "I'm giving you my word as a gentleman. Those times I lied I didn't give my word."

Seth: "Can't argue with logic like that."

Joanna: "I'm in. So where is this 'Orchid'?"

Ben: "It's in the northeast part of the island. Get enough provisions for a day-long hike and we'll give you the instructions."

Seth and Joanna get ready and begin the hike to the Orchid with Ben and Mikhail.

Joanna: "Say, do you know what's going on with the submarine?"

Ben: "Oh, that was programmed to go in a big circle. They should be hitting the east side of the island any time now."

Seth: "How does that square with keeping your word?"

Ben: "I promised they could use the submarine, and they did. I never promised that it would be in perfect working order."

Mikhail: "Ben can be so clever that way."

* * *

An hour passes, and on the east side of the island, the zip-line gets completed. Claire puts Aaron in a basket attached to the zip-line rope and pushes him along. Sawyer and Charlie swim underneath, but Aaron's ride goes smoothly and he enjoys it immensely. Soon all the passengers are on the new beach. Their heads spin, and clear.

Sawyer: "What the … don't tell me I acted like a nerd back there."

Juliet: "You were such a sweet nerd, though. But … I must have made a fool out of myself throwing myself at all the men. From now on I'm going to throw myself only at you."

Jack: "There could have been something in the air of that submarine."

Sayid: "Agreed. But once we get our bearings and resupply it, it still could be our only ticket home."

Kate: "And will those strange personalities come back? I can't believe I was into opera singing."

Sayid: "Quite possibly. If nothing else changes, it stands to reason our behavior wouldn't change."

Charlie: "What about my question: where are we?"

Sayid: "It will be easier to determine that once night falls, and I can get accurate readings on the locations of the stars. Based on the sun, we haven't moved far at all. I can believe the longitude is the same but the latitude should have changed more."

Bea runs her fingers through her new hair, made from strands of her plain dress: "What on earth was I doing?"

Sun: "I'm afraid I encouraged you."

Jin: "That doesn't look so bad … hey, why wasn't I speaking English?"

Eko: "Lord, forgive me; I know not why I played all those practical jokes."

Ana-Lucia: "Don't be hard on yourself. I don't think you broke any commandments."

Boone: "Um, Shannon, I'm sorry I insulted your cooking. Where did that ability come from?"

Shannon: "I don't know. But you weren't so bad at fixing things."

Boone: "Thanks. But … it was a lot more fun to argue with you. It sort of turns me on."

Shannon: "Me too."

Boone and Shannon can't help themselves, and embrace.

Sayid: "Ahem."

Boone: "That was just a brother-sister kiss. Sayid, you're one lucky man."

Boone lets Shannon go, and she runs up to and hugs Sayid.

Libby: "Hurley, are you okay? You had become such a neat freak."

Hurley: "I'm fine now. Just a bit hungry. How about you and the … aliens?"

Libby: "Aliens? That's nonsense. I'm clearheaded now."

Michael: "Aliens? That reminds me, WAAAALLL …"

Everyone else: "Shut up, Michael!"

Fortunately, Michael bellowed long enough for Walt, Emma, and Zach to hear. They come rushing toward the beach, but are scratching themselves. Michael rushes toward them.

Michael: "Walt, are you all right? I'm so sorry I treated you like that."

Walt: "Okay, but don't touch me."

Michael: "What's wrong?"

Walt: "There was good news and bad news. The good news is that tidal wave swept me, Emma, and Zach into the jungle and we had a soft landing. The bad news we landed in a pit about four meters deep that was filled with poison ivy leaves and vines. We just got out now."

Michael: "Oh dear. How did you get out?"

Emma: "That scene got deleted for stupidity."

Danielle: "There's a coincidence. I made a trap like that back on our old island."

Jack rushes up. "You mustn't scratch yourselves; that would make it a lot worse."

Zach: "But we can't help it."

Michael: "Do you have anything for poison ivy?"

Jack: "Not specifically."

Sun: "I know. Wrap the kids in seaweed; the seaweed here has the right soothing properties."

Walt: "But will that stop the itching?"

Michael: "Well, we do have something for that."

Several minutes later the kids are encased in seaweed and buried to their chins in the sand, this time with their arms more out to the sides so they can't scratch anything.

Walt: "This feels … just like the sand on our old island. Are you sure this is a new island?"

Zach: "It does feel the same."

Emma: "There's some kind of energy here."

Locke: "I believe the children are right. I can sense it. The island didn't want us to leave yet. I can believe we are on the eastern shore somewhere."

Jack: "Well wherever we are, we need to set up camp, and see if we can get the submarine to operate safely."

* * *

During the course of the day, Penny and Abaddon fly from Los Angeles to Hawaii. They stop for the night and prepare for their next flight.

* * *

The science team from the freighter does very well in repairing the helicopter. The repairs are completed shortly before sunset, and they drive the Edsel back to the Swan, where only Bernard and Rose are now.

Rose: "Good evening, you young people. How is it going?"

Naomi: "Very well. We should be out of your way by tomorrow."

Bernard: "There's no rush; just be sure to be safe."

Frank: "When that bird is repaired and me at the controls, there's no safer object flying over the planet."

Daniel: "We do have our regular lives to get back to."

Charlotte: "As long as we're together."

Daniel: "Uh …"

Miles: "This place has nothing for me. I'm anxious to get back home too."

Rose: "We all must follow our calling. I still believe Bernard and I are meant to remain here."

Naomi gets a chance to radio the freighter.

Naomi: "Repairs are just about complete. We should be able to fly back to the freighter tomorrow morning."

Captain Gault: "Great. Our team will be ready. Keamy, Omar, and Regina have pretty much recovered, and are anxious to get Benjamin Linus."


	83. Turn of the Wheel

Author's notes: This chapter includes a modified version of a transcript from lostpedia. Also, this chapter took a long time because my workload is crushing me. I need to wrap this up soon.

* * *

In the next morning, the science team takes the Edsel to the helicopter. They make a few more repairs, and Frank starts the engine. The whirlybird roars into life.

Frank: "We did it! We're ready to roll!"

Naomi radios the freighter. "Hello?"

Gault: "Good morning. Do you have a status update?"

Naomi: "The helicopter has been repaired. We're ready to take off in a few minutes, and should rendezvous with you in a couple hours."

Gault: "That's great news. We'll be ready for you."

The science team boards the helicopter.

Daniel: "Are we just going to leave the Edsel here?"

Miles: "You want to drive it back?"

Charlotte: "I don't think Rose and Bernard ever drove it. If they want they can come get it."

Daniel: "I suppose but … weren't there two other people still around? A man and a woman who never got involved in the action?"

Charlotte: "I don't think anybody cares about them. I don't even remember seeing them today."

Daniel: "Yeah … I never remember whether I see them or not. Guess this isn't important compared to our mission."

Naomi: "Enough talking, it's time to leave."

Frank engages the throttle and the helicopter rises majestically into the air. Then it speeds to the west toward the freighter.

Somewhere in the middle of the island, a Labrador barks and a polar bear growls at the flying machine, but quiet down and resume cavorting after it disappears from sight.

* * *

The castaways on the beach gather in the morning to decide what to do.

Jack: "I'm the leader, so I say we figure out what was wrong with the submarine's navigation system, fix it, and sail out of here."

Sawyer: "I liked you better as the dope you were on the sub."

Sayid: "That is a point; it would be better if we were our normal selves if we go back on that vessel."

Jack: "It might have been something in the submarine's air. With its hatch open it could air out in a day or so."

Kate: "What about our location? Do we know which direction to sail in?"

Sayid: "I'm afraid we are back on our island. I couldn't tell any difference in the positions of the stars and planets."

Locke: "I told you this is the same island. My instincts are back in full force."

Danielle: "This area does feel familiar."

Karl: "I was never allowed to go outside that security perimeter."

Sawyer: "Are you still here?"

Alex: "Hey, Karl and I have been … busy since we never got so much time together. But this does feel like our island."

Juliet: "I have to agree. We just didn't have anything to do with this eastern part before."

Bea: "That's right. Um, should we dig out the kids?"

Michael: "If they've recovered from the poison ivy."

Jack: "This is a medical situation. I'm in charge."

Jack, Michael, and Bea make the short trip to the three faces sticking out of the sand.

Jack: "Are you awake?"

Walt: "Yes."

Emma: "Yes."

Zach: "No."

Jack: "How do you feel? Are you still itching?"

Walt: "I feel great, and not at all."

Emma: "Same here.

Jack: "We can dig them out a little to be sure, but be careful not to touch them."

Michael, Bea, and Jack dig carefully just enough so that the kids can work their arms free. They remain buried to their armpits. Walt and Zach try to push themselves up out of the sand with no success.

Walt: "This has to be the same island. The sand feels the same, and it's like being stuck in cement."

Emma: "How do you know what being stuck in cement feels like? Another deleted scene?"

Walt: "I'm not sure where another deleted scene would fit. But I have a great imagination."

Jack: "Now we need to wait a while to see if they start itching their faces and shoulders. If they don't, we can let them out."

Michael: "How long do we have to wait?"

Jack: "An hour should be enough."

Bea: "Better give them something to eat."

Bea gets some fruit and drops it into the children's hands. The adults leave and discuss what to do with everybody else.

Claire: "Shouldn't someone let Rose and Bernard know what's happened?'

Jack: "That's a good idea. Most of us should stay here and set up camp since we don't know how long it will take to fix the submarine, but we can spare a small number of people."

Locke: "Danielle and I are most suited for this task. What do you say, Danielle?"

Danielle: "Sounds good. Are there any supplies we should pick up?"

Jack: "We pretty much took everything we needed for a long trip, but a little more food and water can't hurt."

Claire: "Especially peanut butter."

Hurley: "I agree with that way of thinking."

Locke and Danielle set off to the west-southwest.

Sayid: "I'll swim back to the sub and see what I can find out. Most likely the navigational mechanism needs recalibrating, but we have to be sure before we try to sail in that thing again."

Jin: "Now that I can speak English again, I can help around nautical vessels."

Sun: "If we are here for a while, I could start another garden."

Eko: "Another church might not be out of place."

Michael: "We need some people to build better housing. I'll work on that."

Kate: "Then we'll need some people to chop down trees."

Juliet: "That's right; you must have chopped down trees before, and I wasn't there." Juliet looks adoringly at Sawyer, who gets the obvious hint.

Sawyer: "Hey, after being cooped up in that tin can for a couple days, it will be good to get some exercise."

Boone: "Hey, I'm perfectly capable of chopping down trees."

Shannon: "I'm perfectly capable of watching. Go, Boone!"

Bea: "Michael, I never got to see you work like that."

Michael: "I was planning to anyway. There seem to be enough axes, so there is someone else who is probably better suited for this: Ana-Lucia"

Ana-Lucia: "You got that right. How nice I wasn't completely forgotten."

Eko: "Nobody could possibly forget you, dear."

Suddenly Desmond trembles.

Cindy: "Maybe it's Desmond who's been forgotten."

Jack: "Desmond, what is it?"

Desmond: "I just had a vision … I saw Penny swimming."

Jack: "Is that so bad?"

Desmond: "I don't know. There were big waves, like an ocean. There was no land in sight. It only lasted a second, like usual."

Charlie: "Your last vision – it was of Claire and Aaron, right? Did that happen?"

Desmond: "Yes, they got on board the submarine together just as I had seen it. My visions always come true."

Jack: "Well, I don't see how we can do anything about that now."

Desmond: "I suppose you're right. Working on getting this place in good shape to live will keep me occupied."

Everyone present gets working on making the new camp as comfortable as possible. After an hour Michael and Bea give shovels to the kids so they can dig themselves out of the sand. It takes them an hour to free themselves from the sand and the seaweed covering them, and then they are ready to return to normal. They quickly go back to the new main camp.

Walt: "Dad, can we go look for Vincent?"

Michael: "I don't see why not. Finding him again will be psychologically beneficial to both of you. Just be careful and all that."

Walt: "Yes, we know."

Walt, Emma, and Zach head toward the west.

* * *

After hiking a couple hours, Locke and Danielle hear something.

Locke: "Danielle! Did you hear that?"

Danielle: "Yes, someone's coming. We should separate and surround him."

They do, but the figure turns away from Danielle. Locke follows the stranger, who soon stops. Locke sees this man is not carrying a weapon, so Locke steps into the open with a knife in his hand.

Richard: "Hello John. Fancy meeting you here."

Locke: "How do you know my name? I've never seen you before."

Richard: "My name is Richard Alpert. And we have met, outside the military base … oh wait, that hasn't happened in your timeline yet."

Locke: "What are you talking about?"

Richard: "Soon, you will be sent back in time and meet me. You'll recognize me but I won't recognize you because I hadn't met you before that time."

Locke: "I'm sure I would remember those eyebrows."

Richard: "Anyway, I'll be highly suspicious of you, think you're a threat, and want to kill you."

Locke: "How charming."

Richard: "To prevent me from killing you, you have to give me an object I recognize so I know you're not an enemy. Here, take this."

Richard hands Locke an old, rusty compass. (The kind with a needle that points to magnetic north, not the kind that draws circles.)

Locke looks at the compass. "Compasses don't work all that well on this island."

Richard: "I know about that. Now see, I've etched my name on the inside cover to prove it's mine. Carry this with you at all times. This time-jumping is rather unpredictable."

Locke: "I know this island is special, but … time travel?"

Richard: "I know it's hard to believe, but I know it will happen. I saw those three kids on the pirate ship, the Purple Pebble, more than a century ago. That event hasn't happened in their timeline yet."

Danielle catches up to Locke and Richard. "Is everything all right?"

Locke: "This man is telling me a hard-to-believe tale of time travel. Do you know him or anything about this?"

Danielle: "No, oh this must be that man Alex told me about. Time travel …" Danielle looks puzzled, deep in thought. "Actually, that man Jin that I captured looked just like someone I saw when I first landed here. He didn't look any older now, so I figured it must be someone else."

Richard: "How do you do, Ms. Rousseau, and I apologize for not making the effort to contact you and let you know about Alex. But it is quite possible that man you saw then is the same as the one who is here now."

* * *

The freighter crew is ready.

Gault: "Not all of you will fit on that helicopter, so here's the plan. Frank, take Naomi, Keamy, what's-his-name …Otis?"

Omar: "Omar!"

Gault: "Oh right. "Omar, and Regina with you. Charlotte, Daniel, Miles, you take the Kodiak and create a diversion. Go to the northern tip of the island, as if you're planning an invasion from that direction. Half an hour later, the helicopter will fly directly to their village, land inside that stupid barrier of theirs, and capture Benjamin Linus."

Naomi: "Got it. Let's roll."

Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles get into the Kodiak speedboat and head for the island. They are approaching the north shore when Naomi, Keamy, Omar, and Regina pile into the helicopter piloted by Frank. The helicopter speeds high over the water.

* * *

Ben, Mikhail, Joanna, and Seth reach the Orchid.

Ben: "This is it, the station we call the Orchid."

Joanna: "What a shame this place isn't being used. It would have been nicer in here than on that beach we landed."

Ben: "We certainly couldn't give away secrets so early, and not to random people. Even some of my own people don't know the true purpose of this station."

They go down some stairs and into a room behind heavy doors with a television and VCR player. Ben picks out a tape from the shelf, and inserts it the machine. The same man as in the previous orientation videos appears on the screen.

"Hello. I am Dr. Marvin Candlewax and this is the orientation film for station six of the Dharpa Initiative.

As you've no doubt surmised unless you are totally clueless, station six, or "The Orchid," is not a really botanical research unit. We've just planted a lot of plants to disguise that this is really a special lab for conducting experiments in time and space made possible by the unique properties of this island. On another program this might be called a 'TARDIS.'

This is the vault, constructed adjacent to a pocket of what we believe to be negatively charged "exotic antimatter". Great care must be taken to avoid leaving inorganic materials inside the chamber. The electromagnetic energy within the island can be highly volatile and unpredictable.

Now for your own safety and the safety of those around you, metallic objects must never be placed within the vault. That would be like putting metal objects in a microwave oven.

In our first demonstration, we will attempt to shift the test subject 108 milliseconds ahead in four-dimensional space. For the briefest of the moments, the animal will seem to disappear, but in reality it was moved into the future."

The tape shows a bunny rabbit disappearing and reappearing a moment later.

Marvin Candlewax: "We believe that when we can concentrate more power from this antimatter, we will be able to move objects as large as this island itself, through both time and space. This will be accomplished by turning a special wheel at the end of a subterranean tunnel whose other end is beneath this facility. Great care must be taken to turn the wheel smoothly, and exactly one quarter-turn, or there could be unpredictable jumps through time and space.

You, who have been assigned to this project, have an overwhelming responsibility. Good luck, and namaste."

The tape ends.

Joanna: "You know, that guy kind of looks like an older version of Miles."

Seth: "I think you're right. Could there be any significance in that?"

Ben: "I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

Seth: "There are an awful lot of coincidences on this island."

Ben: "Fine. Doesn't that make you more anxious to get out of here?"

Joanna: "I've had enough of this place. Let's do this."

Seth: "All right, let's go."

Ben: "This way, if you please."

While Mikhail remains behind on guard, Ben leads Joanna and Seth into an elevator which descends sixteen meters before the doors open, subjecting the occupants to a blast of hot air.

Joanna: "Wasn't this wheel described as frozen?"

Ben: "The wheel may be a bit stuck. But if this corridor was cold you would need an overcoat, and it would be a shame to cover up that bikini in your final moments on this island."

Seth: "I have to agree with Ben on that one."

Ben: "I have to remain behind. Good luck you two."

As Ben goes back in the elevator, Joanna and Seth proceed down the hallway where a large wheel with eight spokes is attached to a vertical axle mounted to the floor and ceiling. They push on a spoke, and it doesn't budge.

Seth: "I guess we have to push harder."

Joanna: "When did you become such a genius?"

Seth: "Come on, we have to do this."

Seth takes a running start and slams carefully into the wheel, and there is a faint creak.

Seth: "It's moving!"

Joanna and Seth try push with all their might, and the wheel slowly turns. They almost turn in one quarter of the way, when it sticks again.

Joanna: "We can't come up short now!"

Seth: "Of course not. We can do this."

With one more concentrated effort, they push again. The wheel yields, but not before wobbling a little bit off its axis. Furthermore, their last effort causes the wheel to rotate one degree past a right angle. There is a great burst of violet light, and Joanna and Mike are gone.

* * *

Ben finds Mikhail at the top of the Orchid.

Mikhail: "How did it go?"

Ben: "Very well. My plans always work."

Mikhail: "That plan to get Michael to betray his friends by tying Walt under that pendulum didn't exactly work. The village got kind of destroyed and we didn't even get Jack."

Ben: "But I got Jack to operate on me eventually, and the damage wasn't something that couldn't be fixed. I got what I wanted in the long run, and one of the numbers was changed to the correct value."

They feel the island shake, see a bright violet light, and suddenly the sun isn't in the same position.

Ben: "They did it! We're safe now."

Ben and Mikhail proceed back to the Others' village.

* * *

Penny jumps out of the airplane which Abaddon is flying over the middle of the island. She pulls the ripcord on her parachute and it opens just like it should. She floats gently down when suddenly a shock wave hits, there is a bright flash of violet light, and the island disappears from beneath her. Penny is horrified to find she is now descending toward open water.

Penny: "What just happened?"

Realizing her heavy attire will cause her to sink in the ocean, she frantically rips off the clothing she can. First she takes off her boots, and drops them into the water. That is a big help, but she figures her cargo pants will also be too heavy when waterlogged, so she takes those off as well. She can't remove her shirt while still attached to the parachute harness, but she does unbutton it, ready to ditch that as she hits the water.

Penny hits the water, and quickly frees herself of the parachute. She opens the pack, rips off her clothes, and puts on a yellow bikini with red polka dots, grateful that she thought to pack that. She then fishes a radio out of the pack, and holds it above water. She turns it on.

Penny: "Abaddon! What just happened?"

Abaddon: "The island just … disappeared!"

Penny: "I mean, how?"

Abaddon: "How should I know?"

Penny: "Can you pick me up?"

Abaddon: "This isn't a seaplane. But hang on; I'll toss you a life preserver."

Abaddon circles around, opens the plane door, and throws out a bright orange life-preserver. With remarkable aim, it lands just four meters from Penny, who swims to it and grabs it.

Penny: "Thanks, I'll grab it."

Abaddon: "I'll see what I can do to get someone to rescue you. I may fly to Guam and get a seaplane."

Penny: "Okay, please hurry."

* * *

After working for a couple hours, Sayid and Jin swim back to the new beach camp.

Sayid: "I was right; the navigational systems were tampered with. We were going in a big circle when we thought we were going in a straight line. We just need some way to calibrate some equipment very precisely before attempting another voyage."

Jack: "It figures Ben would let us use a rigged submarine. And I'm sure he was behind those personality alterations. But let's think of something else. Look, we got a lot of wood and are ready to build some good shelters."

Suddenly there is a bright flash of violet light, and the stacks of collected wood vanish, along with all the other supplies and the submarine.

Charlie: "What just happened?"

Jack: "I'm afraid I can't say."

Sayid: "The sun … just moved!"

Libby: "I think my theory about aliens may have something to it after all."

Sawyer: "Over here! This is the tree that I chopped down, right here. It's back, but much skinnier than before."

Juliet: "You're right. I saw you chop that down. It's like we went back into the past."

Sayid: "How thick was the tree when you cut it?"

Sawyer holds his hands apart. "About this much."

Sayid: "That could be around fifty years' growth. Is it really possible?"

Alex: "I think it is. Daddy, I mean Ben, said stuff like that at times. Something about those wonderful scientific projects he was working on."

Karl: "He never told me about that."

Sayid: "I'll be able to tell the year by the positions of Jupiter and Saturn once night falls. But this is really incredible."

Kate: "We … lost everything!"

Cindy: "But we still have our clothes. At least what few clothes we still have. I wonder why that is."

Jack: "It would be a real headache to film that, with so many people."

Sayid: "Perhaps whatever we were holding or in contact with us made the jump with us."

Sun: "I think I'm still pregnant the same amount as before."

Jin: "Thank goodness for that. As bad as it looks, it could be worse."

Claire: "Aaron is the same as before. Lucky he slept through this."

Charlie: "And he still has a natural supply of nourishment. I guess instead of asking 'where are we?' I should ask, 'when are we?'"

* * *

Walt, Emma, and Zach call out for Vincent, and manage to get close enough for the dog to hear. Vincent is confused, but excitedly runs up to the children and licks their faces. Gussie the polar bear lumbers close behind, and then Vincent runs back to his island friend.

Suddenly there is a burst of violet light, the shadows change direction, and Gussie vanishes. Vincent freaks out and runs away.

Walt: "Vincent, come back here! We'll figure out what happened and find Gussie."

Zach: "That was weird."

Emma: "It sure was. Now what?"

Walt: "We look for Vincent, and if we don't find him, go back to the new beach, I guess."

* * *

The Kodiak speedboat reaches the north shore when there is a sudden flash of violet light.

Charlotte: "What just happened?"

Daniel: "The sun … it's way over there. I think there has been a breach in the time continuum."

Miles: "You mean we traveled through time?"

Daniel: "It just might be possible."

Charlotte: "I'm calling Captain Gault." Charlotte punches in the numbers on her satellite phone, but there is no answer. "There isn't even a signal."

Daniel: "That could be because the satellites necessary for that phone to work aren't up in the sky now."

Miles: "So what should we do?"

Daniel: "I guess go around the island and see if recognize anyone. Come nightfall I'll be able to tell the year by the planets if we really did shift in time."

* * *

The helicopter is nearing the island when there is a shock wave accompanied by a burst of violet light. The chopper wobbles, but Frank manages to recover.

Frank: "That was a close one."

Regina: "Um, what happened to the island?"

Omar: "I think we spun around, and … wait, it's nowhere."

Frank: "What? Why, you're right. Call the freighter and ask for instructions.

Regina radios Gault. "Captain? I know this is hard to believe, but the island just … disappeared."

Gault: "You're right, that is hard to believe. We did see a flash of purple light here, but …"

Regina: "So what now?"

Gault: "I guess you have to come back here. Let me get Charlotte and Daniel."

Keamy: "That's boring."

Gault tries to radio the team on the speedboat but there is no answer.

Gault: "It looks as if the island took them with it. They should have just reached it at the time of the light flash.

* * *

Locke and Danielle are trying to determine if Richard's theories about time travel are correct, when suddenly there is a bright flash of violet light, and Richard disappears.

Danielle: "How? Maybe I really am crazy."

Locke: "No you're not, I saw him vanish too."

Locke gazes at the compass Richard gave him. "I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I don't sense that he was lying to us."


	84. Variably Variable

Joanna and Seth find themselves in the middle of a large desert. Soon a jeep arrives, and an elderly woman emerges.

Eloise: "Joanna and Seth, I presume?"

Seth: "That's right."

Joanna: "And you're … Eloise?"

Eloise: "Yes. And I have some regrettable news."

Seth: "We actually made it here in one piece, so it can't be too bad."

Eloise: "True, but you were supposed to get here on December 20, 2004."

Joanna: "From your tone of voice, it sounds like it's something else?"

Eloise: "It's actually August 23, 2007."

Seth: "What? How can that be?"

Eloise: "Evidently the wheel got knocked off its axis when you pushed it. As a result you were sent forward in time. To compensate for that, the island must have been sent back in time."

Joanna: "Are we supposed to do something about that?"

Eloise: "My job is to make sure that things that are supposed to happen do indeed happen. But this may be difficult to correct."

Seth: "How did you know when we would be here?"

Eloise: "There is a station that has some ability to track the position of the island. I have to get back there and try to determine where and when it is. Let's go."

They pile into the jeep and head off for the nearest airport, which is quite far away.

* * *

Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles ride in the Kodiak speedboat clockwise around the island, starting from the north end.

Charlotte: "Daniel, do you know what you're doing?"

Daniel: "I'm pretty sure we want to stick close to the island. If it moves again and doesn't take us with it, we could be lost in time forever."

Miles: "Way to cheer us up."

Daniel: "It's not that bad. We just have to stay closer to the island than when that light flashed. So we'll just stick close to the shore and hope we find some signs of civilization."

Charlotte: "Civilization could be overrated."

* * *

Locke and Danielle discuss what to do.

Danielle: "Should we go back, or find Rose and Bernard?"

Locke: "The larger group will be all right. We should find out the status of the Swan Station. If what Richard says is true, it might not even be there. And if Rose and Bernard are there, we can give them a theory as to what happened."

Danielle: "If that station isn't there, then my bunker won't be either. It's on the way, let's stop by there."

Locke: "That sounds reasonable."

Danielle "I think it's this way. The terrain is beginning to look familiar, but the trees look different."

They hike some more, until Danielle recognizes a hill. "This should be where it is."

Locke: "I believe you're right, but … nothing."

Danielle: "And none of my traps are around."

Locke: "We'll have to make some new ones when we have more time. But we have to find Rose and Bernard – they must be terribly confused."

Locke and Danielle continue toward the Swan Station.

* * *

Frank is flying the helicopter back to the freighter when Naomi spots something in the ocean out the window.

Naomi: "There's someone down there!"

Keamy: "Could that be Linus?"

Naomi: "Doesn't look like it, but Frank, can you take us down for a closer look?"

Frank: "Of course, I'm the world's greatest pilot."

They descend.

Naomi: "That's definitely not Linus, but … she looks familiar. Hold it steady, I'm throwing a lifeline."

Keamy: "You mean like polling the audience or phoning a friend?"

Naomi: "Not that kind of lifeline … oh, just help me get her in."

Naomi throws down a rope ladder, and Penny grabs onto it. Naomi, Keamy, Omar, and Regina help Penny into the helicopter, and then Frank takes off for the freighter.

Penny: "Thanks. I need to call my friend to let him know I'm all right."

Naomi: "Who's your friend, and what are you doing here?"

Penny: "I was looking for someone on the island … did you see it disappear?"

Naomi: "Yes, do you know how that happened?"

Penny: "If I did, I wouldn't have parachuted into the middle of the ocean!"

Naomi: "Who were you looking for?"

Penny: "An old acquaintance named Desmond. What difference does it make?"

Naomi: "That's who I thought it was, Ms. Widmore."

Keamy: "What! You know this babe?"

Naomi: "This is our employer's daughter, Penelope Widmore. Or 'Penny' to her friends."

Penny: "I'm not sure you're my friends."

Naomi: "We shall see. Tell your pilot friend you're fine and to stay away from us."

Penny: "Okay." About the only thing left from her pack is a satellite phone. "Hey Abaddon, I'm okay, and you can go back to Hawaii or wherever."

Abaddon is still flying the plane. "Are you sure? Who are you with?"

Penny: "Some friends of Daddy's. It'll be all right. Talk to you later when everything is sorted out."

Abaddon: "All right." Abaddon flies back to Hawaii.

* * *

Walt, Emma, and Zach look for Vincent but don't find him.

Zach: "You're never going to get that dog trained, are you?"

Walt: "I guess it was meant to be that way."

Emma: "Doesn't this area look different? The trees, or the shadows?"

Walt looks around. "It sort of looks like that. I guess we better get back now."

Zach: "Maybe Vincent ran back to the new beach camp on his own."

Emma: "Probably not, but we'd look stupid if he got back and we didn't."

They head back, and approach a familiar spot.

Walt: "Watch out, this is where that giant pit of poison ivy is. I sure don't want to fall into that again."

Zach: "There's nothing here but plain ground."

Emma: "Walt, are you sure this is where it was?"

Walt: "I have a perfect sense of direction on this island. It was just past those hills … but it isn't here now. What's going on?"

Zach: "Aren't you the one who's supposed to know?

Walt: "Sometimes, but this is different from anything I've experienced before."

The children make it back to the new beach camp. Michael is excited to see Walt and runs up and hugs him.

Michael: "After the flash of light, I was afraid of losing you again."

Walt: "Can you please put me down? You're embarrassing me."

Michael: "But at least I didn't yell 'WAAAAALLLLLLT!' this time."

Walt: "You kind of just blew that."

Michael: "Oh, right." Michael drops Walt onto the sand.

Walt: "I guess Vincent didn't come back here. We found him, but he ran off when that funny light flashed, and Gussie disappeared."

Michael: "Lots of things disappeared. Like our submarine."

Walt: "What?"

Walt heads toward where the submarine used to be, stumbling a little along the way. Jack is compelled to spring into action.

Jack: "Walt, I should examine you. You may have gone through a traumatic experience."

Walt spreads his arms: "No, I'm fine, really. Just like always. It was just surprising to see the submarine missing."

Jack: "Well, let's have a look anyway. Unfortunately, I don't have any medical equipment now."

Walt signs, and lets Jack examine him. Jack finds nothing out of the ordinary. Emma and Zach approach.

Jack: "Oh good, I should …"

Emma: "We know, you always have to examine all of us, so let's get this over with."

Zach: "You are rather predictable."

Jack: "I took the Hippocratic Oath. I have to act this way."

Two more examinations are performed, with no unusual results found. The passengers gather around.

Zach: "Weren't you guys building shelters?"

Sawyer: "We were. I had a whole bunch of trees chopped down and nice piles of logs, but they vanished into thin air. And now it looks like the trees are back where they were standing, only skinnier."

Sayid: "All our equipment disappeared, too. It appears that it was anything that we weren't holding on to.."

Hurley: "That's right. We now have nothing but the clothes on our backs."

The kids giggle.

Hurley: "What's so funny?"

Michael: "Some of us haven't had any clothes on our backs for … I don't know how long."

Hurley: "It was just a figure of speech."

Juliet: "Eighty-three days."

Michael: "What? You kept track? How?"

Juliet: "In the early days Ethan took detailed notes of everything that went on, and I remembered the important things. In your case, you haven't worn a shirt since you gallantly used yours to dress Boone's wound from being gored by a boar, in an attempt to impress Kate and Sun."

Bea: "But that's ancient history; Michael is now impressing me."

Juliet: "Then Sawyer's total is eighty-five days, ever since John and Sayid tied him to a tree and Kate tore his shirt. Kate, you did a great service there."

Kate: "Why thank you, I always do try to help."

Juliet: "I only wish I could go back in time and have been there to see that."

Sawyer: "From what it sounds like, maybe that will be possible."

Juliet: "Fortunately we did meet when we did."

Sawyer: "I'll never forget the first moment I laid eyes on you - tied to a tree in that same blue bikini you have on now."

Juliet: "And it was the happiest day of my life. Thirty days ago. Definitely worth being tied to the tree by John with some help from Sayid and Boone."

Boone: "Hey, John tied me to a tree, too."

Juliet: "Yes, but you had already lost your shirt by then. You're at eighty-four days."

Shannon: "I think Sayid and I have you beat, Boone."

Juliet: "Yes, Sayid lost his shirt eighty-six days ago, and Shannon lost everything but her pink bikini eighty-seven days ago."

Walt: "What about me? All I've had is this boarskin loincloth since the day John tied me to a tree."

Juliet: "It would been seventy-nine days, except for the time we tried to dress you normally in our village and you overheated."

Bea: "Walt has also been wrapped in rope, duct tape, Silly String, and plastic wrap."

Walt: "Those aren't really clothes."

Juliet: "Then your current streak is forty-five days."

Zach: "You aren't so great."

Walt: "I've got you and Emma beat."

Juliet: "Not by a whole lot. Thirty-six days for Emma in her two-piece boarskin outfit, and one more day for Zach and his loincloth. Two more if you start counting when his shirt was irreparably torn."

Eko: "I remember when that happened. And when Nathan was kidnapped early on I took a vow to remain shirtless for forty days. I guess I forgot about that."

Ana-Lucia: "Congratulations on more than doubling that."

Juliet: "Eighty-seven days in fact, tied for second with Shannon."

Jack: "Hey, I'm number one in this department."

Claire: "We're getting off the subject."

Juliet: "But this is one of my favorite subjects."

Claire: "Anyway, from the sound of things, I'd better hold onto Aaron constantly."

Charlie: "I'll hold on to Claire to be safe."

Sayid: "That shouldn't be necessary. All the people moved together."

Kate: "Don't we have other problems? Like finding food and water?"

Sun: "Yes, my vegetables didn't have enough time to grow."

Walt: "There was a stream back where we were looking for Vincent. And the usual fruit trees."

Desmond: "And what about shelter? With no hatch or submarine, we just sleep on the beach?"

Boone: "We've done it lots of time before. It's always warm on this island, even at night."

Shannon: "But there's nothing stopping us from curling up with the person of your choice."

Shannon cuddles with Sayid.

Jin: "What an excellent idea." Jin cuddles with Sun.

The sound of an approaching engine is heard.

Charlie: "What's that noise?"

Libby clutches Hurley. "Aliens?"

Hurley: "We need to check your medication when we get home."

Cindy: "It's those people from the helicopter. Some of them, anyway."

The speedboat is brought ashore and greetings are made.

Daniel: "It is good to see you."

Jack: "Same here, I guess. Can you explain what happened?"

Daniel: "I'm not sure, but based on rumors I've heard from Charles Widmore about this island, it may be possible we moved in time and/or space."

Sayid: "That's what I thought. We can check the positions of the planets tonight to get a better idea of the time. Based on the sun, I don't think we moved far in space."

Sawyer: "By the way, what are you doing here?"

Charlotte: "We were … attempting to contact Ben regarding some business with Widmore. Have you seen him?"

Jack: "No. But that louse gave us a defective submarine. The navigation system was sabotaged, and it brought us back here. But it vanished during that burst of violet light."

Hurley: "We lost everything except … what clothes we do have. Do you have any food?"

Charlotte: "We weren't planning on staying long. A day's worth for all of us."

Claire: "Is there any peanut butter?"

Charlotte: "I don't think so."

Miles: "Wait, there should be some in this Gemini candy bar."

Claire snatches the candy bar, and then feels guilty. "Anyone want to share?"

There is silence.

Jack: "You're the nursing mother, go ahead. There's enough here for the rest of us, and there's fruit close by."

Claire: "Thank you, everybody."

They all eat and get ready to go to sleep, with many pairs cuddling.

* * *

Ben and Mikhail head toward Othersville. Ben frowns.

Mikhail: "What is it?"

Ben: "Something is wrong. The landscape is too different."

Mikhail: "Wasn't it supposed to be different?"

Ben: "A little, but this is too much."

Mikhail: "What are you thinking?"

Ben: "Let's get back to the village."

They get close, but Ben suddenly stops.

Ben: "The security perimeter isn't here. And the village isn't here."

Mikhail: "How can that be?"

Ben: "We were supposed to be sent a few days forward in time. But instead we must have gone backward. And by quite a bit."

Mikhail: "How can we fix this?"

Ben: "We need to re-align the donkey wheel. We have to go back to the Orchid."

They turn around and head back. They reach a point where they should be able to see the Orchid.

Mikhail: "Wait a minute. Wasn't the Orchid built after the village was established?"

Ben: "That's right."

Mikhail: "So we should have looked back after we saw the violet light flash. The Orchid isn't there, is it?"

The even-tempered Ben was not wont to uttering expletives, but on this occasion the circumstances proved too overwhelming.

Ben: "Oh, crud."

* * *

After night falls, Sayid and Daniel are checking out the night stars.

Sayid: "That's clearly Jupiter in Cancer, and I think that's Saturn over in Libra."

Daniel: "Yes, that extra light there isn't part of the Libra constellation. Now Jupiter is in Cancer every 12 years, and based where it was in 2004, the year would be 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966, and so on. Saturn in Libra, that's 1984 or 1983, and then 1954 …"

Sayid: "That matches up with the next possibility for Jupiter. That means the year is 1954."

Daniel: "Or a multiple of 354 years away from that, but I'm sure you're right. The island didn't appear that much different. But is it really necessary that we get these details right?"

Sayid: "We have some of the most obsessed fans ever. If we get a detail wrong, we hear about it in abundance and it makes the writers look and feel bad. They need reassurance or things will really get bad."

Daniel: "It must be tough working under those conditions with all those nit-pickers."

Sayid: "Yes, but there are other things more important to worry about. And since I met and married Shannon nothing seems too big an obstacle to overcome. You should consider spending more time with Charlotte; it's obvious how she feels about you."

Daniel: "Um, I think I'd better go to sleep now."

* * *

When the new day comes, Locke and Danielle are near the location the Swan Station that isn't there. They wander around, and eventually find Rose and Bernard near the original beach.

Locke: "Hello!"

Rose: "Why, hello, John. What are you doing here? I thought you left."

Locke: "We came to tell you what we think happened. We did leave, but the submarine was sabotaged to bring us back to the island. And then … Richard thinks we've been subjected to time travel. That would explain why the hatch vanished."

Bernard: "We'll accept what our fate has in store for us."

Danielle: "But wasn't there a lot of food in that structure?"

Bernard: "Yes, but we'll manage."

Danielle: "We thought you might like to join the rest of us on the eastern shore of the island."

Rose: "Like Bernard said, we'll be fine here. And if the hatch does come back and you need food, we can let you know."

Locke: "All right then, we'll be heading back. It's good to see you have faith in the island."

Locke and Danielle head back to the east.

* * *

Everyone one the east beach gathers around.

Sayid: "We have an announcement. Based on the positions of the planets, Daniel and I are quite sure we are in the year 1954."

Shannon: "Doesn't that mean none of us have been born yet? How is that possible?"

Sayid: "Daniel can explain that better."

Daniel: "Actually I imagine Ben Linus could explain it better. But based on my studies, this island sits on top an extremely powerful energy source and as such is in an unstable region of the space-time continuum. If a particular set of variables takes on a particular set of values, it could cause a rift in the continuum, and our location in time and space would exhibit a discontinuity. Evidently the variables have taken on these values, and here we are."

Sawyer: "Whose idea was it to let Farawayaday speak?"

Bea: "Are these variables related to the Vermicelli Equation constants that Walt changed?"

Daniel: "That's a different set of equations, but there could well be a link. It is possible that all the Vermicelli Equation constants need to be in place for a space and time jump to occur, but that hasn't been established. Perhaps it will be if someone thinks it's important; otherwise it will be forgotten about."

Desmond: "What about those personal constants you expounded upon when you first got here?"

Daniel: "Those can be important. If two or more people meet in two different time frames, their recognition of each other can help stabilize the island."

Boone: "Can we get back to our own time?"

Daniel: "It's possible in theory. As of now we don't have the knowledge or means to do so."

Claire: "Are there going to be more time jumps? I want to raise Aaron in a stable environment, and jumping through time and space all the time doesn't strike me as the ideal situation to raise a baby."

Charlie: "I agree with that. And moving through time constantly would make it difficult to get a steady job, and gather a following if I got a band going again."

Sun: "I also prefer my baby grow up in a stable environment."

Jin: "Well, that might make it easier to stay away from your father … oh all right, stable situation sounds good."

Michael: "Walt was raised in an unstable environment and he's turned out fine."

Walt: "But my life stunk until I got to this island."

Jack: "Actually, it continued to stink until the day John tied you to a tree."

Hurley: Yes, you were really quite the brat until I helped you get loose from that."

Sawyer: "Little Bratwurst was still a stinker on that submarine."

Libby: "But everyone was affected somehow on that."

Claire: "I don't want Aaron's life to stink for ten years. Now what did Sawyer say? … Bratwurst … food … that reminds me, it would be terrible if we kept bouncing to times and places that didn't have peanut butter! Daniel, do something to get us back!"

Daniel: "I wish I knew what to do. I suspect we'll have more time jumps because there will probably some way of telling when they're over. For now, just be careful. Please stay away from wells or holes; if you were in one during a jump those could be filled in."

Zach: "You mean we could have been buried alive if we didn't get out of that poison ivy trap hole?"

Emma: "Walt, you saved our lives! If we had been in there one more day … that really was a great idea you had to get out."

Walt: "Can we not talk about? That scene was deleted, but if you keep it up, somebody may request it as a DVD extra or something."

* * *

After a while of hiking, Locke and Danielle hear rustling in the bushes. They freeze, but soon can tell they are surrounded. A gruff voice sounds:

"Don't move, drop your weapons, and put your hands in the air. We have you surrounded."

Locke: "How can we do the last two if we don't move?"

The gruff voice groans: "Okay, drop your weapons, put your hands in the air, and then don't move."

Locke: "That's much better."

Locke and Danielle comply, though Locke still has some knives on him.

Gruff voice: "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

Locke: "My name is John, and my airplane crashed on this island. And this is Danielle, who … I found here."

Gruff voice: "There has been no airplane crash here recently."

Locke: "It wasn't recent; it was almost three months ago. Say, do you have a name?"

Gruff voice: "You don't need to know it. My group is called 'Hostiles'."

Locke: "Charming."

Hostile: "Wait, there's been no plane crash in that time either. And we would have found you if you had been on this island that long."

A familiar voice calls out, "What do you have there?" Then a young man with luxurious eyebrows enters the scene.

Locke: "Richard! It's good to see you."

Richard: "How do you know my name? We've never met."

Locke: "We did, or at least in my timeline. I'm John Locke. We're meeting for the first time in yours. You told me to give you this to convince you."

Locke slowly pulls the compass from out of his pocket, which now looks much newer, and offers it to Richard, who takes it.

Richard: "My name … and that's how I etch my name. I must have done this. But … when did I give it to you?"

Locke: "Toward the end of 2004. You look the same as you do now. Between now and then you'll apparently learn a lot about this time-travel business."

Richard: "I heard something about time travel long ago, when was it?"

Locke: "Aboard a ship called the Purple Pebble?"

Richard: "That's it! Those kids told me about it. How did you know about that?"

Locke: "You told me – in 2004."

Richard: "I did? I'll never forget that, they got brought down to the hold and put in shackles like me, but they were wearing …"

Locke: "Loincloths, and a top for the girl, made of boarskin."

Richard: "How do you know that?"

Locke: "I made them for them. We've had some clothing shortages on this island, and it was the best we could do."

Richard: "Then … they are on the island now? Are there others in your group?"

Locke: "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, so yes."

Richard: "Then take us there."

Hostile: "Watch out, it could be a trap."

Richard: "We're well armed, and I believe this man is telling the truth. We may be able to help each other."

Locke: "This is Danielle Rousseau. Thirty-three years from now a man who hasn't been born yet but will become your associate will steal her baby. You'll find out about it, but have to not let her know about that until she finds out through other means."

Richard: "I believe I understand."

Danielle: "Wait a minute. Where did that compass come from?"

Locke: "Richard gave it to me."

Danielle: "But where did Richard get it?"

Richard: "Just now, from John here. I've never seen it before."

Danielle: "But I mean, where did it come from originally? When was it made, and how one of you get it first?"

Locke and Richard stare at each other blankly.

Danielle: "It's not possible. John got it from Richard, who got it from John, and no one gave it to one of them first. It's a paradox! I can't understand … my mind … I must be going mad!"

Locke cringes: "Uh, Richard, this woman will be crazy if and when you see her in 1977. I wonder if this is how she got that way."


	85. Time before Time after Time

Locke, Danielle, Richard, and the Hostiles head toward the new beach camp. The Hostiles keep their guns ready as they approach.

Hostile: "What is this? A beach party?"

Locke: "No, why would you say that?"

Hostile: "The way everyone is dressed … or barely dressed."

Locke: "Oh, we've had clothing issues. They've been that way for so long no one pays any attention to that."

Jack comes up to the group.

Jack: "Who is this?"

Locke: "This is Richard, who's been here forever and I met a little while ago, and his associates, the Hostiles."

Richard:" How do you do? We can be described as the native inhabitants of this island. John here tells me you've had quite an adventure."

Jack: "Does that make you the good guys or the bad guys?"

Richard: "We're the good guys, John. There are bad guys, though, who are disrupting our life."

Jack: "Would those be the same bad guys who've been disrupting our lives? Kidnapping, not helping us get home, messing up the navigation on their nuclear submarine …"

Hostile: "Nuclear submarine!"

Others approach the newcomers.

Sayid: "Jack, you may be talking too much."

Hostile: "We're the ones with the guns. Keep talking."

Jack: "We can't be sure. Maybe we're supposed to keep talking."

Sayid: "It wasn't a real nuclear submarine, as in nuclear powered. It just had a nuclear device on it, but it disappeared."

Hostile: "Do you know where it came from?"

Bea: "That was one of Ben's secrets."

Richard: "Who is Ben?"

Juliet: "Why, you and Ben have known each other for years … oh wait, Ben hasn't come to the island yet."

Bea: "I don't think he's even been born yet."

Danielle: "Stop it! You're confusing me. This time travel thing isn't possible!"

Locke: "Um Jack, do you think you can do something for Danielle? She went a little crazy over a time paradox involving Richard and me exchanging a compass that couldn't have been created anywhere."

Libby: "There is an explanation. It's an alien compass, and its origin is extraterrestrial in nature."

Suddenly there is an ominous rumbling, and then a flash of blinding violet light. When the castaways can see again, Richard and all the Hostiles are no longer there.

Charlie: "What just happened?"

Kate: "It felt just like that last time there was the violet light flash."

Sawyer: "Look here, this tree … it's thicker than it was just now, but thinner than when I chopped it down."

Shannon: "So it looks like we moved to another time between 1954 and 2004?"

Sayid: "That would be logical. When the planets come out tonight, we can figure out the year more precisely."

Ana-Lucia: "Is that really going to do us any good?"

Daniel: "We might be able to establish a pattern that we can use somehow."

Hurley: "But in the meantime, we still have to eat."

Jack: "Well, let's gather what food we can."

Boone: "Maybe we should eat it as soon as we find it in case we get transported again soon."

* * *

Rose and Bernard are walking around near the site of the Swan station when they hear a rumble and then see a bright flash of violet light. When their vision returns to normal they look at each other.

Bernard: "Things look different again. Do you suppose we back in our own time?"

Rose: "We can see if the hatch is like we left it."

They walk around awhile and eventually find the correct location.

Bernard: "This isn't like we left it. It's very well hidden."

Rose: "Well, we can still ring the doorbell."

Rose pushes the doorbell, and gets sprayed in the face with seltzer water. Bernard guffaws.

Rose: "Did you remember that?"

Bernard: "Yes – that's why I let you push the doorbell."

Rose: "You romantic devil."

There is no answer to the ring.

Rose: "Is it possible that nobody's home?"

Bernard: "Not likely based on what we know. But it's just as well, that could be an unnecessary plot complication."

Rose: "I think you're right. Let's just chill and see if we wind up back in the right time."

* * *

Ben and Mikhail are pacing around the northern part of the island between the Others' village and the site of the Orchid, when they encounter a familiar flash of bright violet light. It takes a minute for them to recover their vision.

Mikhail: "Do you have any idea when we are now?"

Ben: "Let me get my bearings. This is vaguely familiar. We should check out the site of the Orchid. If it's there, we could have reverted back to the correct time."

Ben and Mikhail hike toward the Orchid, and it soon comes into view.

Mikhail: "There it is! This time thing may have straightened itself out!"

Ben: "We must be patient. That building looks much newer than when we last saw it, don't you think?"

Mikhail: "Newer? I didn't notice, but maybe you're right. But what if you aren't?"

Ben: "Am I ever wrong?"

Mikhail: "You didn't predict that Michael wouldn't betray his friends, or how much damage Walt could do when the pendulum device tickled him."

Ben: "There wasn't enough information on Michael, and the damage got repaired, so that's no big deal. Besides, the Vermicelli Equation numbers got all corrected, and we must make sure that they don't get changed again. Now let's wait behind these bushes and see if we recognize anyone."

They wait for sixteen minutes and forty-two seconds, and then they see a van drive up, and see Marvin Candlewax get out and enter the Orchid.

Ben: "Do you recognize that man?"

Mikhail: "Isn't that the guy in the orientation films?"

Ben: "Yes, that's Marvin Candlewax."

Mikhail: "But … didn't he leave this island years ago?"

Ben: "Yes he did. And the man there is much too young for our time."

Mikhail: "So what does this mean?"

Ben: "We've gone forward in time, but not far enough. There should be younger versions of ourselves on this island now."

Mikhail: "What happens if we meet them?"

Ben: "Think carefully. In all the time you've been on this island, or at least between ten and twenty years ago, have you met someone who looked like an older version of yourself?"

Mikhail: "No. I would have remembered that."

Ben: "Same with me, and I remember everything. Therefore if we meet our younger selves now, it would create a time paradox and destroy the fabric of the space-time continuum."

Mikhail: "That sounds pretty bad."

Ben: "Of course it's bad. The entire universe as we know it would be destroyed, and all our hard work would have been for nothing."

Mikhail: "So what do we do now?"

Ben: "We have to hide until there's another shift into a more suitable time."

Mikhail: "What if there aren't any more time shifts?"

Ben: "I'm certain there will be more; nothing is happening to stop them. And if I'm wrong, we'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

Mikhail is puzzled at the imagery. "Can you explain the term 'mixed metaphor'?"

* * *

Darkness sets in, and almost everyone at the new beach camp settles in for the night. Sayid and Daniel are out looking at the night sky.

Daniel: "Do we really have to go through this again?"

Sayid: "I don't want to take a chance on someone catching an error. Now it looks like Jupiter is in Aries and Saturn is in Scorpio."

Daniel: "That makes it … 1988."

Sayid: "That sounds like a big improvement."

Daniel: "Perhaps, but you can't be sure of anything on this island."

* * *

Morning comes, and there is a discussion.

Sayid: "We believe we're now in 1988."

Juliet: "That means the village you call Othersville is in operation."

Hurley: "Then they have a nice selection of food there."

Shannon: "And real houses."

Boone: "But given our prior experience, they might not be very welcoming of us."

Michael: "Bea, where you there at that time? What do you think would happen?"

Bea: "Yes. They should have that sonic security fence up, but I can get through it. However, I don't think they'd appreciate unannounced guests, and I don't want to run into a younger version of myself."

Claire: "Do they have peanut butter there?"

Bea: "Yes."

Claire: "Then I think it's worth going there. Even if they catch us we'll probably end up in another time soon enough."

Locke: "There are alternative food sources. I can go boar hunting again. I still have the knives I was carrying on me."

Jin: "I may as well make a net and catch some fish."

Sun: "Is there going to be time for that? The way things are going there could be another time shift any time."

Desmond: "So far it's happening about once every twenty-four hours."

Hurley: "I bet it's closer to twenty-three hours."

Jack: "Sounds like there are lots of destinations we want to go to. Why don't we agree to meet at a central location an hour before dark?"

Charlie: "What is the most central location?"

Eko: "I think that would be the Pearl Station. I think just about all of us have been there."

Cindy: "Even I was in on that. That was when those freighter people released the nitrous oxide, and we passed the Pearl on the way back from the ferry where the submarine was."

Desmond: "And went back to untie the kids you left there past that station."

Most of the group heads toward the Swan, but Jin and Sun remain behind to make a net and go fishing. Then a figure with a familiar voice steps out in front.

Richard: "Mind if we speak for a minute?"

Sawyer: "If it isn't old Eyebrowzer. You haven't aged a day in 34 years."

Richard: "None of you have aged either, but it's only been 11 years since we last met."

Sawyer gestures at Sayid and Daniel: "Is that all? Our resident Eggheads said this is 1988."

Richard: "It is. But we last met in 1977."

Daniel: "That hasn't happened to us yet."

Richard: "Oops. Then I guess you're going to go through at least one more time shift."

Shannon: "It is rather impressive that you remember us after all these years when you only saw us for a few minutes."

Richard: "There's something about that large a collection of bikinis, loincloths, and bare-chested men that is pretty hard to forget."

Charlotte: "Uh, I was a little girl on this island in 1977. Is that going to cause a problem?"

Richard: "It could. It's a good idea to avoid meeting yourself. But if you remember as a child meeting yourself as an adult, then I think you should try to make that happen."

Charlotte: "I don't, but now that I think about it, I think I did see someone who looks a lot like Daniel."

Daniel: "You did? I don't remember that."

Richard: "That's because that incident hasn't happened to you yet."

Danielle: "This conversation is not helping. I have to get out of here."

Locke: "Fine, I'd like to go hunting anyway."

Richard digs into his pocket and pulls out the compass: "Here John, you better take this compass again. You may need it next time."

Danielle: "Arrgh! Enough with that compass! I'm out of here."

Danielle runs off, and Locke follows her.

Locke: "Forget about all that. We're alone now; let's concentrate on something we're good at – hunting."

Danielle takes a deep breath and calms down. Her mind isn't at ease, but improves as they get farther away from the others.

The larger group continues toward the Pearl.

Jack: "Richard, how will we be greeted at your village in this time?"

Richard: "Not very well, but let me get there ahead of you and I'll explain everything to Ben."

Karl: "Actually, I don't want to go to the village. That Room 23 is probably there."

Sawyer: "You're still here?"

Karl: "I can't help it if I'm easy to forget."

Bea: "Yes, Room 23 would be around now."

Alex: "Karl and I can do something else, or just wait at the Pearl."

Claire: "What about Rose and Bernard? What's the status of the hatch now?"

Richard: "It should be occupied by two men you'd rather not me. If Rose and Bernard are there it's best to get them away and with the rest of the group."

Alex: "Karl and I can do that."

Walt: "If Room 23 is there I don't want to go back either. Can I look for Vincent?"

Michael: "If your friends go with you. I don't want you out there alone in this strange time."

Emma: "I'll go with Walt."

Zach: "Me, too."

The kids run off to the west shouting for Vincent.

Bea: "That was a nice move getting rid of the kids. I don't want to go back to the village either, especially if I might run into myself. Why don't we stay at the Pearl?"

Michael: "Sounds good to me."

Juliet: "Hey Sawyer, I was thinking, wouldn't it be neat if we could get a house in that village to ourselves?"

Sawyer: "I can think of nicer places than that village."

Juliet jumps on Sawyer to embrace him: "I'm so happy you think it's a good idea to get a house for us."

Sawyer is too startled to reply.

Alex and Karl head for the Swan, while the rest of the group reaches the Pearl. Richard goes on ahead, Michael and Bea stay at the Pearl, and the rest of the group follows Richard after giving him an hour head start.

* * *

After a few hours, Alex and Karl find Rose and Bernard near the Swan.

Alex: "Hello. We found out that it's 1988 and it's not safe for you to be here."

Rose: "Nothing is totally safe."

Alex: "But the rest of us are at the Pearl, and some are going to Othersville. It would be bad if the people in the hatch found you. And there's some food at the Pearl."

Bernard: "We'd better go, dear. We can come back if this time nonsense ever lets us."

Rose: "All right, dear, as long as we're together."

Alex, Karl, Rose, and Bernard head toward the Pearl as it starts to rain.

* * *

Jin and Sun make a fishing net out of vines. They cast the net into the ocean, and catch a couple fish. Sun takes them inland to clean and cook them, while Jin tries to catch more fish. Suddenly he sees a woman pointing a rifle at him.

Jin: "Danielle, is that you?"

Jin isn't sure it is Danielle because it is the 1988 version of her, sixteen years younger than what he is used to.

Young Danielle: "How do you know my name? Who are you?"

Jin: "It's me, Jin. We met in Chapter Ten when I fell into one of your traps, and you chained me to a bed frame. I didn't know English then and we had a hard time communicating."

Young Danielle: "This is nonsense. We have never met."

Jin realizes now that this version of Danielle hasn't experienced those events yet.

Jin: "I must be mistaken. It must have been someone who looked like you, but she was several years older."

Young Danielle: "That doesn't explain how you knew my name."

Jin: "Coincidence?"

Danielle steadies her rifle, never taking her aim off Jin. Then the ground rumbles, and there is a flash of bright violet light. When Jin can see again, Danielle is gone, but the terrain looks a lot different, like no one has ever been here. From Danielle's perspective, Jin disappears, and she thinks "_What was that? Am I going mad? That man said I'm going to make some traps. That could be a good idea to help me survive."_

* * *

Walt, Emma, and Zach are searching for Vincent when it begins to rain.

Walt: "Hey, we're near the Purple Pebble. We can hang out in there till the storm blows over."

Zach: "Cool."

They find the old ship and climb inside. They get to a middle level when there is a loud roar of thunder and a flash of bright violet light. They rub their eyes, and then notice something.

Emma: "The boat is rocking, like we're at sea."

Walt: "That can't be. Let me check."

Walt climbs some steps, and enters a room with two ugly, smelly men in it. They look at each other in shock.

Captain: "What's a slave doing running loose on this ship?"

Walt: "What? What makes you think I'm a slave?"

Captain: "You're certainly dressed like one."

Walt: "Oh this? I was on this island, and lost all my clothes, and my friend made this loincloth out of boarskin. I'm not a slave. My name is Walt."

Captain: "And I'm Magnesium Hansolo, and this is my first mate."

First Mate: "We don't have any slaves beside that Richard chap on board."

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "Then how did you get on board?"

Emma and Zach follow Walt and stop dead in their tracks when they see the captain.

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "Given the way these two are dressed, I presume they're with you?"

Walt: "Yes, this is Emma and Zach. We were on this ship in the middle of the island and there was this light flash, and I guess we got sent back in time."

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "Sent back in time? And a ship in the middle of an island? Don't lie to me, or I'll put you in chains."

Emma: "Don't you know that slavery has been outlawed for more than a hundred years?"

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "A hundred years? Not in most of the world."

Zach: "Can you tell us what year this is?"

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "You don't know the year? Are you playing dumb?"

Emma: "No, my brother really is dumb. Please tell him."

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "Fine, it's 1867. Now tell the truth how you got here."

First Mate: "And don't tell us you swam from somewhere; you'd be soaking wet."

Emma: "Slavery still's been outlawed for four years, in the U. S. anyway. It would be one of those numbers. But no, Mister … "

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "We don't refer to him by name, just the 'First Mate.' He keeps a log of our affairs since he's the only one on board who can read and write well."

Walt: "What's a first mate?"

Zach: "The only one I've heard of had the name 'Gilligan'."

Emma: "It's a second-in-command type of position." Emma faces the captain. "But Walt was telling you the truth. We crashed on this island in 2004, and have been jumping around in time recently."

Magnesium Hansolo growls. "Put them in the shackles until they're ready to tell the truth."

A couple of rough-looking types emerge and grab the kids. The crewmen force the children belowdecks, where Richard is chained to a wall.

Walt whispers to Emma and Zach: "Don't worry, remember this is supposed to happen. Richard said we'd only be chained up for a few minutes, and then there'll be another light flash."

Emma and Zach nod in agreement, as they remember Richard's words. The crewmen get to Walt first, snapping manacles attached by a very short chain to the bulkhead snugly around his ankles, and then two more manacles, attached to longer chains, around his wrists. Then they pull up the chains leaving Walt's hands high above his head with his arms stretched straight up, and secure them somehow so Walt can't bend his arms at all. Then Emma and Zach get the same treatment, with Emma on the wall to Walt's left and Zach on the wall to his right. While Emma and Zach are being chained up, Walt mentally rehearses what he is supposed to tell Richard once the crew leaves. Richard is puzzled by his apparent recognition by the children in the expressions on their faces.

* * *

The large group is some distance north of the Pearl when it starts to rain. Soon after that there is thunder and a bright flash of violet light. When everyone's eyes clear, the rain has stopped, but the terrain is now very unfamiliar.

Shannon: "Was that lightning?"

Sayid: "Possibly, but it could have been another one of those time flashes. Look around. There isn't even a dirt road any more."

Daniel: "Looks like we've gone back a long time this time … or possibly far into the future."

Claire: "So this means we're not getting peanut butter today?"

Charlie: "There could be another time shift soon. Don't despair; Aaron and I need you."

Boone: "So what do we do now?"

Jack: "How about going back to the Pearl like we agreed?"

Ana-Lucia: "We could put it up to a vote."

Eko: "You and your votes. Is anyone opposed?"

No one says anything.

Ana-Lucia: "Fine, we're going back to the Pearl. If it's still there."

The group turns around and heads south where the Pearl used to be, or will be in the future depending on one's perspective.


	86. Meet Vincent

Author's Note: In the last chapter near the end a correction that Alex, Karl, Rose, and Bernard were heading toward the Pearl, not the Swan, was made.

* * *

The large group of castaways makes it way to the site of the Pearl Station.

Jack: "Hello? Michael, Bea, are you here?"

Michael: "Yes."

Kate: "Is the Pearl Station here?"

Bea: "It used to be, but it isn't any more."

Daniel: "It would be more correct to say that it isn't here yet. We must have gone back in time a lot from the looks of things."

Charlie: "I'm glad it isn't just me who is seeing these wild changes."

Shannon: "Are we sure this is the right place?"

Boone: "It has to be. There's the cliff that other plane had landed on and I found the radio in."

Shannon: "And almost fell down in that plane."

Eko: "Let's not think about that. It doesn't look like any airplane has ever been there."

Hurley: "So what should we do now?"

Jack: "We agreed to meet up at the Pearl, so we should stick to that."

Sawyer: "And how many more time changes will happen before that occurs, Doctor Control Freak?"

Jack: "How should I know? But I'm sure it's better to live together at this point."

* * *

After the flash, Jin and Sun find each other.

Jin: "You won't believe this! I just saw Danielle, and she pointed a rifle at me!"

Sun: "I thought Danielle and John went off in a different direction."

Jin: "They did. But this Danielle was a lot younger."

Sun: "Any chance some of Charlie's old drugs are lying around?"

Jin: "No!"

Sun: "Just the same, I think it would be a good idea to get to the others now. This is getting too weird."

Jin: "That's probably best. Any fish we catch would apparently disappear if we weren't holding it during a time shift, and it would be a drag to hold onto them all day."

Sun and Jin head toward the Pearl.

* * *

After the bright flash of violet light, the Danielle known to the Oceanics is not feeling particularly well.

Locke: "Danielle, are you all right?"

Danielle: "I'm sure I'm losing my mind. I now remember a similar flash of light many years ago – that happened right after I was about to shoot Jin with a rifle. But he looked the same as he does now."

Locke: "From what I understand, that could be reasonable."

Danielle: "If that's reasonable then maybe you're also going crazy. I don't trust myself with a firearm right now."

Locke: "How about knives?"

Danielle: "I think I need to stay away from weapons for now."

Locke: "If that's the way you feel, maybe our wonderful doctor should have another look at you."

Locke and Danielle head back toward the Pearl.

* * *

Ben and Mikhail look about after the flash of violet light.

Mikhail: "is this a more suitable time to set things right?"

Ben: "No way. There's nothing here now. This must be way before anyone from Dharpa or the Hostiles got here. Nothing to do but wait it out some more."

* * *

By a convenient coincidence, Rose, Bernard, Alex, and Karl reach the Pearl just as Sun and Jin, and Locke and Danielle do.

Claire: "Hello, everybody."

Jin: "Danielle? You're here? But I just saw you, but you were younger …"

Daniel: "That is quite possible. It's just a good thing Danielle didn't meet her younger self. That might have ripped the space-time continuum and/or driven her insane."

Danielle: "It might be too late for that."

Ana-Lucia: "Did everybody made it here, all right?"

Hurley: "As the keeper of the census, I certify that everyone is here except the children."

Michael: "I'm sure they'll be here soon. They're very dependable."

Locke: "Definitely. I'm sure they're having a great time together, whatever it is they're doing."

* * *

Once the crewmen leave Walt, Emma, and Zach shackled to the walls in the nether regions of the Purple Pebble with Richard, Walt is ready to talk with Richard.

Walt: "Please listen carefully, we have something important to tell you, and we don't have much time."

Richard: "What? Who are you, and why do you act like you know me? I've certainly never seen you before."

Walt: "I'm Walt, and this is Emma, and Zach." Walt turns his head to his left and right to indicate his friends since he can't move any other part of his body. Emma and Zach, similarly immobilized, nod to Richard. "Now what I'm going to say will sound impossible, but you have to believe me."

Richard: "I'm having a hard time believing you somehow got on board this ship in the middle of the ocean. I might be hallucinating."

Walt: "That's because we got here by time travel. This ship is going to crash on an island. We were on it when we got sent back in time. But before that, we met you in 2004. Then you recognized us, but we didn't recognize you. You told us that this will happen; that you will see us getting shackled to the walls. You said that now you are very depressed. But I assure you, things will get better for you."

Naturally Richard doesn't believe Walt.

Richard: "Time travel? That's absurd, as well as me still living in 2004. And of course I'm depressed; I have nothing to look forward to. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life performing slave labor, which I'm sure is your fate, too. You are much too calm for someone who's just been put in shackles."

Walt: "We won't be for long. You told us that we'd only be chained up for a few minutes. Then we're going to disappear back into our own time. Also, something will happen to you so that you don't age."

Richard: "Why should I believe any of this?"

Walt: "You did tell us your name – Richard … Alpert. There's no way we would know that if we hadn't met somewhere."

Richard is shaken by the mention of his name, and then reasons, "You must have overheard the crew mention my name." He looks alternately at Emma and Zach. "Has your friend gone mad?"

Emma: "No, everything he said is the truth. We don't know too much about you, but you will end up on this island, and become some sort of adviser to the people who come there."

Zach: "That's right. Also you said in 2004 it was easy to recognize us because we were wearing the same clothes we have on now."

Richard: "You call those clothes?"

Walt: "Stuff happened to our regular clothes, and someone you're going to meet on the island made these for us out of real boarskin. That's something to watch out for; they're wild boars on the island, and they're probably the only source of meat. Other people will get shipwrecked or something on this island, and you will have to help and guide them. Now will you believe us when there's a flash of violet light soon and we disappear?"

Richard looks at the shackled children and sadly shakes his head. He doesn't believe them but figures they are delusional and it might be best to play along. "I'm afraid you all have undergone some traumatic experience and haven't come to grips with reality. But if there is this violet light you keep talking about and you disappear, then I'll believe you. And if I end up on an island I'll watch out for wild boars and be prepared to advise."

Walt: "Thank you, that's all we can ask for."

They hear footsteps coming down, and the captain and first mate enter.

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "What's all this yammering? Are you ready to tell me the truth?"

The Purple Pebble begins to rock violently. The captain and first mate struggle to keep their balance, a problem the prisoners shackled in place don't have. Then there is a great flash of blinding violet light.

From the perspective of Richard, Captain Hansolo, and the first mate, Walt, Emma, and Zach vanish without a trace.

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "What in tarnation just happened?"

Richard is speechless. The first mate examines the shackles that had been restraining the children, and then those still securing Richard.

First Mate: "The shackles the kids were in are still locked. You need your key to open them. Same as for Alpert's. This is … impossible."

The captain glares at Richard.

Captain Magnesium Hansolo: "What do you know of this?"

Richard: "I don't know any more than you. Those kids kept babbling about time travel. If I could have done anything don't you think I would have gone with them?"

The captain sneers. "I'm sure you would. But I still need to know what happened."

Richard: "I think the most reasonable explanation is that those children were telling the truth."

First Mate: "I better write this all down in my log. It might be worth a lot some day."

The captain and first mate go back upstairs, leaving Richard alone. Richard's spirits are up, as he looks forward to a storm in a few days that will send the Purple Pebble on a giant wave that crashes into the middle of the island and set him free.

* * *

The bright violet light flash leaves Walt, Emma, and Zach blinded a little longer this time, but the silence indicates they are no long in the presence of those who had been aboard the Purple Pebble.

Zach: "I was getting a little nervous back there."

Walt: "I wasn't. I can tell when someone is lying or telling the truth."

Emma: "Like when Ethan tricked you into letting him handcuff you and all of those Others making you believe you had been captured in a cops and robbers games?"

Walt: "My special abilities have developed a lot since then. I won't get fooled by guys like Ethan and Ben any more. Richard said we would be chained up for only a few minutes, and he was right. Nothing we can't handle after all we've been through."

Emma: "That's good, but there's something wrong. I don't think I can move."

Zach: "Me too."

Walt tries to reassure the siblings even though he is also having trouble moving.

Walt: "You'll be fine in a minute."

The children blink their eyes, and their vision slowly returns.

Emma: "Hey, we're still shackled to the walls!"

Zach: "At least those bad guys are gone."

Emma: "And the boat isn't moving. We must have gone forward in time, and are on the island."

Zach: "Can you tell what year it is?"

Emma: "Not exactly. But the way the stuff is arranged … I think it's after 1954 when we got here, but before 2004."

Zach: "That really narrows it down. But if the ship's been here that long, shouldn't the boards be rotting?"

Zach pulls on this chains, to no effect. Emma does likewise.

Emma: "Come on Walt, get us out of here."

Walt: "I can't! I couldn't get out in 2004, so the hull must be stronger now." Walt demonstrates by pulling on his chains, but his limbs go nowhere.

Zach: "What are you talking about?"

Walt: "That stupid deleted scene where you shackled me to the wall just like now. I couldn't get loose then, and even you couldn't get me loose when you couldn't find a key."

Emma: "Since that scene was deleted, maybe it doesn't count?"

Walt: "It doesn't matter. It wouldn't be consistent if I could break loose without help now."

Zach: "Can this scene be deleted?"

Walt: "No. This was foretold in Chapter 59 and we have to have a resolution. It would be unacceptable to have any loose ends."

Emma: "I wouldn't mind getting loose now."

Walt: "We're bound to get out of here somehow. The time line would get messed up otherwise."

Zach: "Still looks like Richard was wrong big-time about how long we would be here."

Walt: "It's not his fault. He only saw us chained up for a few minutes. He couldn't tell what happened after that."

Zach: "How did you get loose that time?"

Emma: "Don't you remember? Vincent brought Gussie who picked the locks with her claws."

Walt: "But Gussie didn't follow us through the time shifts. Maybe because she was already on the island when we got here."

Zach: "So what do we do now? We must get rescued because we didn't find skeletons chained to these walls before."

Emma: "Maybe we can annoy Walt and make him do one of those crazy things that shakes the boat apart."

Walt: "That's kind of a last resort. I got all those Vermicelli Equation numbers changes, and prefer not to mess that up. And maybe the boat would crush, or we could get splinters."

Emma: "Then I guess yell for help and hope one of friends finds us instead of some bad guys."

The next hour is spent hearing shouts of "HEEEELLLLLP! VIIIIINCEEEEENT!"

* * *

The large group is assembled at the site of the Pearl Station when they experience the flash of blinding violet light. It takes a couple minutes to recover.

Charlie: "This is happening way too often."

Shannon: "Look: the Pearl is here now."

Eko: "That's right; those are the doors into the ground."

Juliet: "Careful, somebody is probably inside there, and they might not be happy to see us."

Bea: "It depends on what year this is."

Sayid: "We can find that out soon enough; the sun will set soon … no, wait a minute, the sun is on the other side. It's early morning."

Jack: "That can't be good for our sleep cycles."

Boone: "Has knowing the year ever done us any good?"

Sawyer: "Also, you wouldn't want to be down there if there's another time shift and you get buried underground."

Libby: "That's an idea. Aliens could have been hiding underground, and waiting for the right time to infiltrate us."

Desmond: "Maybe you and Danielle could start a group therapy session."

Claire rocks Aaron in her arms, and asks, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to look for the children?"

Michael: "I suppose you're right." Michael takes a deep breath, when Sawyer suddenly puts Michael in a headlock and clamps Michael's mouth with his free hand.

Sawyer: "You yell your son's name one more time and you'll be known as the man who used to have functioning vocal chords."

Everyone else present applauds Sawyer.

Michael is in shock, but Juliet relieves the tension.

Juliet: "My sweetie is just playing with you."

Sawyer warily releases Michael.

Locke: "The children went off in this direction. Let's see if I can pick up their trail."

The group travels a little distance to the east together.

Michael, quietly: "We're much more likely to find them if they can hear us."

Ana-Lucia: "The kids are together. We can call out the other names; that won't be so annoying. EEEEEEEMAAAAAA! ZAAAAAAAACH!"

Within a few seconds, there are faint rustlings in the bushes around the Losties. But it turns out not to be the children, as a sinister voice commands, "Noboby move!"

* * *

Vincent is roaming the jungle, despondent that he can't find Gussie, his polar bear girlfriend. Then he hears Walt's voice, and remembers some of the good times months ago. Vincent runs to the Purple Pebble, and gets through a hole in the hull.

Walt: "Vincent! You came!"

Zach: "Hi, Vincent. Where have you been?"

Emma: "Hi Vincent. Why do you keep running away for so long?"

Vincent barks, and licks the children's legs.

Walt: "Vincent, can you please get help this time?"

Vincent wants to play, and slowly figures out his friends can't move. Vincent bites the short chain connecting one of Walt's ankles to the wall, but the chain proves sturdy.

Walt: "Good try, Vincent, but you need to get a person. Can you do that please?"

Emma and Zach add their encouragement. Vincent nods, barks again, and runs off.

Walt: "Good boy, Vincent!"

Emma: "Do you really think he'll bring help?"

Zach: "Yeah, you said he left you tied to a tree before and never came back with help."

Walt: "Yeah, but I have a good feeling about this. That time Vincent was running after Gussie, and now she isn't here, so he's sure to help me."

Emma: "At least if Gussie isn't around in this time."

* * *

Vincent runs for an hour and finds not any of the Oceanics, but a boy and girl around Walt's size playing with dolls by the sonic security fence. They have light brown hair, the girl is wearing a pretty light blue dress, and the boy is wearing a plain white shirt, tan pants, and wire-rim glasses. Vincent senses something and stops just short of the fence.

Girl: "Oh, what a nice doggie."

Boy: "I wish I had a dog to play with."

Vincent barks and turns around, indicating he wants these children to follow him.

Boy: "He wants us to follow him."

Girl: "It looks like someone's in trouble, but we'd have to go outside the fence."

Boy: "That's not a problem." He punches in a code at the base of a stone pillar.

Girl: "How did you do that?"

Boy: "I watched somebody once. Now are you coming?"

Girl: "It will be safer together."

They follow Vincent to the Purple Pebble for the next two hours.

Girl: "How did a ship get to the middle of the island?"

Boy: "Probably a tidal wave."

Inside, Walt, Emma, and Zach hear the voices.

Walt: "I don't recognize those voices. Be careful what you say, and don't say or do anything that will make them not release us."

Vincent scampers through the hole in the hull, and the boy and girl then crawl through. The boy freezes in shock and the girl shrieks at the sight of the nearly naked children shackled to the walls.

Walt uses a voice that suggests he is much more exhausted than he really is. "Please … help us."

Boy: "Who did this to you?"

Girl: "I bet it was the Hostiles. Was it the Hostiles?"

Walt: "I don't know who they were. Some crazy men."

Zach and Emma catch on and use overly-fatigued sounding voices.

Zach: "They sure acted hostile to us."

Emma: "Please, can you find a key, or some tools to get us out of here before they come back?"

Boy: "Of course." He checks the shackles on Emma, and determines they are solid. He and the new girl then go throughout the ship, looking for something useful, while Vincent stands guard. In a few minutes the boy finds a set of keys and returns.

Boy: "Look, I found these. I think it's the captain's cabin they came from."

Girl: "Let's hope one of them works. I can't believe anyone would treat kids like this."

The new boy tries the keys on Emma's shackles first, and soon finds on that works. He succeeds in releasing her, and then Zach, and then Walt.

Emma: "Thank you so much; you saved our lives."

The boy is staring at Emma. "Um, you're welcome."

Girl: "Come on, let's get out of here."

Vincent and the five children crawl out the hole in the hull and quickly put some distance between them and the ship. The atmosphere is more relaxed.

Emma addresses the new boy. "You know you're staring at me? Haven't you seen a girl in a bathing suit before?"

The boy stammers: "Uh, not like that."

Emma: "What do you mean?"

Boy: "A lot of your butt is showing."

Walt and Zach giggle.

The new girl points at Walt and Zach: "Well, so are theirs."

Emma giggles.

Walt attempts to project an aura of dignity: 'That's not important. We have to figure out what to do."

Girl: "We're taking you back to our village where we can get you some food and real clothes."

Walt: "Oh, there's plenty of food around here."

Boy: "How do you know that?"

Walt realizes he may have said too much, but he does owe this pair an explanation for freeing him from the shackles. "We've been here a while, and found some fruit trees while exploring."

The boy is astute and senses there's more to the story. "Just how did you get here?"

Walt has to come up with a good story. "We were in a plane crash . We lost everything and all our clothes got ruined."

Zach: "There was a big fire."

Boy: "That looks like the skin of a boar you three have on. Did you hunt one down?"

Girl: "Stop interrogating them. They've been through a terrible ordeal. It will be nice to have some other kids to play with."

Boy: "I didn't mean for it to sound like an interrogation. But there haven't been any plane crashes here, and if we're going to bring them into our village, we should know more about them."

Girl: "Just let them tell their story and be done with it."

Boy: "Fair enough. Just please tell me the truth."

Walt: "Fine. We were in a plane crash, and it's been a struggle to get off this island. There were other people with us, and they're probably looking for us, so maybe we shouldn't go to your village. A few days ago something really weird happened, and we've been transported through time several times. The last time we were on that ship when we got sent back to 1867. It was like a pirate ship, and the crew didn't believe our story so they shackled us up. Then we got transported here, but for some reason stayed in the shackles."

Emma: "Should you be telling them all that?"

Walt: "It doesn't matter since we're going to transport again."

The new boy and girl stare at Walt, and then after a few minutes burst out laughing.

Boy: "I'd be honored to be the friend of anyone who can come up with a story like that."

Girl: "That was great. So are there more people on this island now?"

Walt: "Sure. There's my dad Michael, and John, he's the hunter who made these loincloths, and Sawyer, who'll give you a great nickname if he meets you. And four married couples; Jin and Sun, Rose and Bernard, Charlie and Claire, who just had a baby named Aaron. And Sayid and Shannon, and her brother Boone. And Doctor Jack, Kate, our Preacher Eko, our cop Ana-Lucia, Cindy, and Desmond, who lived alone in a hatch for three years pushing a button every 104 to 108 minutes. Crazy Danielle, her daughter Alex and her boyfriend Karl. And a big guy friendly guy named Hurley, who's is love with Libby, who thought I was an extraterrestrial alien."

More laughter ensues with this description.

Boy: "It's great that you can display a sense of humor after what you've been through. I still can't believe anyone would chain up kids like you were."

Walt: "Oh, there are plenty more who would do that. There were these other people in the village in our time, and they kidnapped me and tied me up a lot, and ran all sorts of tests and experiments on me. Ethan, Goodwin, Tom, Danny, Mikhail, I'm glad I haven't seen them in a long time. Two of them, Bea and Juliet defected. Juliet has the hots for Sawyer and Bea digs my dad. And the leader was this nutcase named Ben, who directed all these tests in the name of science. It sort of worked, but there had to be a better way. The psycho even kidnapped Alex as a baby and raised her as his daughter."

The new boy and girl chuckle, and Walt isn't sure why.

Girl: "You're the best storyteller I ever heard …"

Walt: "Oh, we never introduced ourselves. I'm Walt."

Emma: ":I'm Emma, and this is my dopey brother …"

Zach: "Zach! I can speak for myself."

Walt: "And this is Vincent."

Vincent: "Arf!"

Girl: "I'm please to meet you all. My name is Annie."

They all shake hands with Annie, and then the boy shakes hands with Walt and reveals the reason for his and Annie's chuckle.

Boy: "And my name is Benjamin Linus."


	87. What Should Happen, Better Happen

Walt involuntarily gulps when he hears the twelve-year-old boy introduce himself as Benjamin Linus.

Young Ben: "Looks like my name is familiar to you."

Walt: "N-n-no, I mean, it can't be .."

Ben: "It's not nice to lie to someone who just saved your life. Now please tell me what year you come from."

Ben stares into Walt's eyes without releasing his grip on Walt's hand. Walt gets a sense of foreboding that something bad will happen if he doesn't answer truthfully.

Walt: "2-2004."

Annie can't hide her surprise. "2004? Maybe you do come from another planet that woman in your group said."

Emma: "Maybe we are. Can you tell us what year this really is?"

Annie: "Why, it's 1977 of course."

Ben finally lets go of Walt's hand. "So in twenty-seven and a half years, I'll have you kidnapped, tested on, essentially tortured? I find that hard to believe."

Zach: "And in eleven years you'll kidnap Alex as a baby."

Emma: "Zach, you're not helping."

Annie: "My Benji would never do any of those things."

Walt tries to undo the damage he fears he may have done. "Ha ha, that's right. We've been pranking you. Imagine – time travel! That's ridiculous. We really had you going."

Annie: "A prank? But … you mean you let yourselves be chained up in that ship? No one would go that far just for a prank."

Walt: "That's the whole idea. We had to do something so outrageous that you wouldn't believe we were trying to con you."

Ben: "So, you're more or less typical kids from 1977 who like to play jokes, and have been plotting this for what, a few days?"

Walt: "That's right."

Ben: "No, it isn't."

Annie: "How can you tell?"

Ben: "His heart races when he lies. It wasn't when he was telling us the tale of how they got here." Then to Walt: "If you want to lie, you need a different outfit."

Annie: "Ben, are you sure?"

Ben: "Yes." Ben turns to face Emma and Zach. "And look at them – not a trace of a tan line or variation in skin color. They've worn nothing more than those outfits for a long time; I should say over a month. I'm not sure Emma has even worn that much all the time."

Zach: "You're observant; Emma went topless for a week a couple weeks ago."

Emma hits Zach hard in the shoulder as Walt, Ben, and Annie giggle.

Emma: "Zach! That was a secret! And besides, that happened during the nitrous oxide attack and those scenes were deleted so they don't count."

Zach: "Then how can you explain why it looks like … oh, never mind. We figured that out recently. It's something like forty days now."

Annie: "There's no way you could have been here forty days without being found by the Hostiles."

Ben: "I'm glad you're seeing it my way now."

Annie: "Wait, could they be Hostiles?"

Ben: "If they were, don't you think their colleagues would have confronted us as soon as we left that ship? But we can ask them." Ben faces Walt. "Are you Hostiles?"

Walt: "No."

Ben: "That was the truth. Also, I have a source from the Hostiles and know some things about them. There aren't any children their age among them."

Annie: "Okay. But … will I be with Ben in 2004?"

Walt: "I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell you the future. It might mess things up."

Ben: "Too late now. Also, it might be necessary that you tell me now so that the future plays out like it should. Be a gentleman and answer the lady's question."

Walt realizes Ben has a point: "I didn't see any Annie there. But that doesn't mean you weren't there. I spent most of the time there locked in a cage or Room 23."

Annie: "What's Room 23?"

Walt: "It's Ben's torture chamber. Well, it wasn't that much of a torture, except when I was tied down under that pendulum thing with the feather duster and got tickled."

Annie looks at Ben:

Ben: "That's the truth. But I'd say he thinks you won't be there."

Annie: "Oh, no. I'm think I'm going to cry."

Walt: "Hold it. The Ben of the future didn't know me or recognize me at all. The future is already messed up."

Annie: "It must be. Ben would never do all those things."

* * *

The large group freezes upon hearing the sinister voice. It is not too much of a surprise to find themselves surrounded by Hostiles.

Sinister Voice: "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

Jack: "Haven't we been through this already?"

Sawyer: "The Hostility Crew strikes again."

Sinister Voice: "What are you talking about?"

Older Hostile: "Wait, something's coming back to me. I remember coming across a group like this. Looked like a beach party. They got here when their plane crashed and claimed to be jumping through time. There was even a mother with a baby that looked like …"

Claire: "Can we get to the point? Are you going to take us somewhere where there is peanut butter?"

Charlotte: "Funny; I just got a craving for chocolate."

Older Hostile: "And that baby … hasn't aged a day in twenty-three years."

Hurley: "You just had to bring up one of the numbers again, didn't you?"

Older Hostile: "Numbers? What are you talking about?"

Desmond: "If the year is right, this group doesn't know about the numbers yet."

Sawyer: "At least we don't have to listen to another planet calculation to find the year again."

Sayid: "So it's 1977. Can we do anything with that information?"

Sinister voice: "Too much talking! What are we going to do with them?"

Older Hostile: "Richard will know what to do."

Locke: "Right. I need to show him this compass."

Danielle: "Auugh, not that compass again. Give it to me!"

Locke: "Why?"

Danielle: "So I can break it and stop losing my mind."

Locke: "But then Richard won't have it to give me in 1988, and again in 2004."

Danielle: "That doesn't make any sense. You would need to give it to him some time in between."

Daniel: "I'm afraid what John said is right. He did give Richard the compass in 1954, and has to again to balance it out."

Danielle screams.

Locke, to the Hostiles: "She's a bit emotionally disturbed right now. Let's get to Richard right away."

Older Hostile: "I think that's a good idea. This way; he should be at the Temple."

The Hostiles force the Losties toward the Temple.

Eko: "I didn't know there was a temple on this island."

Bea: "That's one of the things Ben keeps a secret."

Kate: "Is there anything important Ben doesn't keep a secret?"

Juliet: "I think we know by now the answer is 'no'."

Kate: "That was supposed to be a rhetorical question."

Michael: "Do anyone know which way we're headed?"

Boone: "This is sort of in the direction of that ship with the fake dynamite."

Danielle: "You mean the Dark Territory."

Juliet: "You think the children might be there and we can find them?"

Michael: "Oh drat, I forgot about Walt and his friends again. They did like to play on that ship."

Sinister Voice: "What are you talking about? Are there more of you here?"

Ana-Lucia: "There are three children who ran off looking for this guy's son's dog."

Ana-Lucia points at Michael while walking.

Cindy: "I was supposed to be looking after the other two, but that plan didn't take hold very well."

Older Hostile: "I remember seeing them. Two boys and a girl, eight to ten years old, and barely dressed. If you spot them there's no question they belong to this group."

Jack: "Do you think you guys could help us look for them? There's so many of you it shouldn't be too hard."

Sinister Voice: "We don't take requests from invaders!"

Older Hostile: "Calm down. Richard has known what to do for many years and he's never failed us."

* * *

12-year-old Ben and Annie are leading Walt, Emma, Zach, and Vincent are almost out of the Dark Territory when a voice familiar to four of them is heard.

Richard sees Ben and Annie first: "Stop! What are you doing here?"

Ben: "This dog came by and acted like someone was in trouble, and we followed him. We were right."

Annie is scared: "Benny, you know this man? Isn't he a Hostile?"

Ben: "He's a good man, Annie. He's going to bring peace to this island. Annie, this is Richard. Richard, this is my best friend Annie. And these are …"

Richard: "You again!" Richard sees Walt, Emma, Zach come up.

Walt: "Hi, Richard."

Ben: "Richard, you know these guys?"

Richard: "Yes, but it's been a long time since I've seen them."

Zach: "What you mean a long time? It was just … several hours, I think. And you were wrong. We were chained up a lot longer than a few minutes."

Richard: "Sorry about that. It was a few minutes from my perspective. I didn't know that when you time-shifted again you'd stay in the manacles."

Emma: "Well, we did. It's like whatever we're wearing or holding comes with us with us when we time-jump."

Ben: "Good thing your clothes came with you. That could have been real embarrassing."

Emma: "Yeah, but it was a drag that those manacles counted as clothes, like bracelets. Hey, does this mean we were chained to the ship's wall for 110 years?"

Richard: "I don't think so. You were somewhere else in 1954, when I saw you briefly."

Annie: "None of this makes any sense!"

Richard: "It takes getting used to but it does make sense in a way. But there is a problem. I fear the timeline has been altered. Walt, as I understand it the Ben you knew in the future didn't recognize you?"

Walt: "That's right."

Richard: "And those people you were with before – they're around here somewhere too?"

Walt: "I guess so. We were supposed to meet at the Pearl, but … you know what happened to us."

Richard thinks for a moment. "Eloise will know what do to. We have to go to the Temple, and then find the rest of your group."

Annie: "I'll get in trouble if I don't get home soon."

Richard: "The world will be in trouble if you don't. Now hurry up."

They proceed toward the Temple.

* * *

The two groups converge in front of the Temple.

Older Hostile: "Richard, we have a problem. Do you know what to do about this?"

Richard: "I have an idea, but we need to consult Eloise."

Daniel: "There's a coincidence – that's my mother's name."

Richard: "Uh oh. That might not be good."

Locke steps forward: "Hi Richard, here's your compass back to prove it's really us."

Richard takes the compass back. "Thanks, but meeting your young protégés again I was sure it was really you."

Danielle: "Could you please never let me see that compass again?"

Michael spots Walt and rushes to him. Walt retreats a step to avoid being crushed by a hug.

Walt: "How come you didn't yell my name?"

Michael: "A lot of people might hurt me if I do."

Walt: "Good to see they're getting more sense."

Michael: "So what happened to you?"

Walt: "Emma, Zach, and I got chained up in the Purple Pebble by these pirates when we jumped back in time, to 1867 they said. Then when we jumped here, we were still chained up. Vincent brought these two here and they freed us."

Michael: "That's nice. So what are you new friends' names?"

Walt: "This is Annie, and Ben … Linus."

Michael: "You don't mean …"

Walt: "Yes, it's the same."

Sayid speaks to Shannon on the side. "You know, if we killed Ben now, he won't cause all that trouble in the future. No plane crash, no kidnappings, a lot of suffering would be avoided."

Shannon: "Yes, but then we never would have known each other. We'd just be passengers on the same plane, and never would see each other after we landed."

Sayid: "Of course, it was just an idle thought. I'd never do something like that. I just wonder if what we do now is going to mess up the future, and our future."

Sun overhears: "What if something we do now changes the future? I might actually leave you this time."

Jin: "Then we must make sure that nothing does get changed, even if we have to go through a rough time."

Charlie: "Claire, I can't imagine living without you."

Claire: "And … I might have given Aaron up for adoption."

Libby: "This sounds like extraterrestrial alien stuff."

Hurley: "No, more like science fiction, but often it becomes science fast. I wish I had time to suggest improvements to the Star Wars movies."

Juliet: "The thought of not meeting Sawyer and all these other handsome men is too much to contemplate."

A man and woman around forty years old emerge from the Temple. They are surprised to be recognized by some in the new crowd.

Desmond: "Mr. Widmore?"

Desmond: "Mom?"

Widmore grabs a rifle and aims it as Desmond. "How do you know my name?"

Desmond: "I … uh … your daughter …"

40-year-old Charles Widmore: "I don't have a daughter. Who are you?"

Desmond: "Desmond Hume. I … must have heard your name somewhere."

The woman picks up another rifle and aims it at Daniel. "Why do you call me 'Mom'? I have no child."

Daniel: "But you look just like … I'm sorry, I won't be born until early next year, in about nine months I should say."

40-year-old Eloise: "What? You're talking crazy."

Richard: "Calm down everyone. Eloise and Charles, what took you so long to come out of the Temple?"

Charles: "None of your business."

Richard: "Excuse me. Do you remember when those strange people were on our island in 1954?"

Charles: "I heard about that, but was in another part of the island at the time."

Eloise: "Me, too. Are you saying these are the same people?"

Richard: "They are, except for those two Dharpa kids," pointing at Ben and Annie. "But I'm afraid those two know things we aren't supposed to know. What should we do about that?"

Eloise: "The time line must be preserved at all costs."

Richard: "Then Ben and Annie must be taken to the Temple."

Eloise: "What about our group?"

Richard: "We'll be okay. It's only those from Dharpa that might need to be … changed."

Annie: "I don't like the sound of that."

Ben: "You have to trust Richard to do the best for us."

Charles: "Why do we have to do everything you say?"

Richard: "Do you want to risk the wrath of Jacob?"

Eko realizes his still has his Jacob stick and shakes it. Charles settles down.

Richard: "Is there anything else that should be corrected?"

Charlotte: "I think I saw Daniel in the village at this time."

Richard: "Anything else?"

There are no other comments.

Richard: "Then we must hurry. Someone needs to take Daniel to the village so he can see Charlotte before the next time shift."

Bea: "I can do that."

Daniel: "Can Charlotte come with me?"

Richard: "No, she mustn't see herself if she didn't see an older version of herself as a child."

Daniel: "I'd like to bring someone else. How about Miles?"

Miles: "I forgot I was still here, but okay."

Charles: "You can't just let them leave."

Richard: "Some of us should accompany them. You may volunteer. I have to take care of Ben and Annie.

Annie: "What's going to happen to me?"

Richard: "Your memory of this day's events will be temporarily erased. This is necessary so you don't get into trouble at home, and Ben shouldn't remember these people before he's supposed to. Your memories will return once the time line is straightened out. Let's go, and hope for the best."


	88. Into the Temple

Daniel, Bea, Miles, Charles Widmore from 1977, and an extra Hostile rush toward the Others' Village. They reach the sonic security fence.

Charles: "How do we get in?"

Bea: "By punching in the code on this panel at the bottom. If they changed it in the sixteen years before I got here, we can always run in while holding our fingers in our ears."

Charles: "I find it hard to believe this group wouldn't change a security code in sixteen years."

Bea enters the combination and it works. She goes through first, and then the others follow.

Daniel: "Another possibility is that they cycle through several codes, and by coincidence a cycle was completed between now and whenever you got here in the future."

Miles: "It sounds strange to use the past tense when referring to the future."

Daniel: "Let's just get this over with. Where is Charlotte likely to be?"

Bea: "The playground is this way. Just don't let anyone see you until the right time."

The group follows Bea until they see a four-year old red-headed girl on a swing.

Bea: "Okay Daniel, now walk past her, make sure she sees you, and come back."

Daniel does as instructed. The girl and Daniel stare at each other for a second, and then Daniel quickly walks away and circles back to the group.

Charles: "That was it? This was a waste of my time."

Bea: "Yes. Charlotte reported just seeing Daniel, so now that is all straightened out. Now we have to get back before anyone important sees us."

They start back, but run into Dr. Marvin Candlewax, the man in the Orientation videos.

Marvin Candlewax: "Hey what are you doing here?"

Miles blinks and can't believe his eyes. "Dad?"

Marvin Candlewax: "What? I just became a father a few months ago …"

Distracted by Miles, Marvin can't react in time to stop the redshirt Other from hitting him hard in the shoulder. Marvin crumples to the ground.

Miles: "What did you do that for?"

Bea: "He wasn't supposed to see you! We need to get out of here before he raises the alarm."

Charles and the redshirt Other grab Miles by the arms and they run away. They get safely past the sonic security fence.

Daniel: "What was that about?"

Miles: "He looked like pictures of my father that my mother showed me as a child. But there was something different."

Bea: "Maybe his arm was hanging limply in those Dharpa orientation videos, and it wasn't just now?"

Daniel: "Perhaps he needed to be hit in the arm to make those films appear the way they were supposed to."

Charles: "What are you talking about?"

Bea: "You'll find out about those later. Richard can let you know everything when you're supposed to."

Charles: "Why is it always up to Richard? What's so special about him?"

Bea: "How long have you known him, and how much would you say he has aged?"

Charles: "More than twenty years, and … gee, I never noticed that. He does look a lot like when I first met him."

They all continue on to the rendezvous point near the Temple.

* * *

The large group heads to the Temple. Along the way they pass what appears to be an oil derrick, but something isn't right with it.

Sayid: "What is that? It looks like it might be the storage facility of a nuclear device."

Eloise from 1977: "That was a rather inspired guess."

Jack: "It makes sense. I thought some of your people from 1954 had minor radiation burns. At that time you might not have known all about the proper ways to handle it."

Kate: "Why didn't you mention it before?"

Jack: "Those guys looked real mean, and that was before we met up with Richard."

Sayid: "What are you people going to do with a nuclear bomb?"

Richard: "That's a good question. It would be a real bummer if it went off while we were on this island."

Charlotte: "Daniel's an expert on nuclear devices. We should ask him when he gets back from seeing me as a child."

Richard: "Fine, after we're done with the ceremony in the Temple, we'll meet back up when they return from the village."

The large group continues on toward the Temple. When they get close, Richard addresses the Oceanics.

Richard: "This area is considered sacred. We have to ask you to remain outside."

Jin: "Is this one of those things where if you tell us the details of what goes on in there you'd have to kill us?"

Eloise: "Actually, we would just wipe out your memory of the last several years."

Sun: "Let's just wait outside."

Locke: "I should be allowed to go in. The island and I have a special relationship."

Danielle: "I thought we were developing a special relationship."

Richard: "John, now that you know where this is, why don't you come back when you get to your proper time?"

Locke: "I guess that's fair enough."

Eko: "Can I come with? This Temple sounds interesting."

Locke: "I suppose."

Richard: "Children, this would be a good time to say good-bye."

Emma: "Good-bye, Ben and Annie. Thanks for rescuing us."

Annie: "You're welcome. It was fun."

Zach: "Yeah. Too bad this couldn't be some alternate universe where we could have grown up as friends."

Twelve-year-old Ben: "Interesting concept. Well, it sounds like I'll see you in twenty-seven years."

Walt: "I guess so. Sure hope you and Annie find a way to stay together."

Vincent: "Arf!"

Richard, Eloise, and several Hostiles take young Ben and Annie into the Temple, while other Hostiles stand guard and move the large group a short distance away. The structure is made almost entirely of stone, and they proceed to the interior where a heptagonal pool is located in front of what appears to be an altar.

Richard: "Ben and Annie, you need to wade in the water, dunk your heads for four seconds, and come out. This will clear your minds and allow you to absorb what we tell you."

Eloise: "We have to make this come out exactly right. What was the last thing you remember before you saw Vincent?"

Annie: "We were playing with dolls near the sonic fence."

Eloise: "All right, that's how we'll leave you. We will return you to the exact location, say the code word 'namaste," and it will be just as if the rest of the events of today never happened."

Ben: "But if we have to go in that pool, our clothes will get all wet, and they probably wouldn't dry in time."

Richard: "We'll find some spare clothes in here for you. Something that can act like bathing suits."

Annie: "Are you sure about this?"

Richard: "Yes. Also it's the only way you and Ben can be together in the future."

Ben: "We have to do as he says. I trust him completely."

Annie: "All right then."

Ben and Annie hand Richard their dolls, and then Eloise escorts them into separate rooms where they can change. Soon they emerge ready for the ritual, and go back to the pool.

Richard: "Remember your instructions. Get in the pool, hold your breath for at least four seconds, and get completely immersed in the water."

Ben and Annie look at each other, and then follow Richard's instructions. When they come up for air, they have a dazed look on their faces.

Ben: "What is happening?"

Eloise: "You are on an unusual and important journey. To complete it, you must follow this man back to where you were earlier today. Now come on up, dry off, change into your regular clothes, and put all thoughts of the past few hours out of your minds."

Annie: "What happened in the last few hours?"

Eloise: "If you don't remember, that's good. Now follow the instructions."

Ben and Annie follow all of the instructions with blank faces. Richard then takes them back to where they had been, punching in the security code that he conveniently knows thanks to a previous visit by the youngster Ben, and gives them back their dolls.

Richard: "Now when I say the word you've been told about, you will not notice me, and you will believe that you have been playing with your dolls all day. It's later than you realize, and you have to go home. Do you understand?"

Ben and Annie: "Yes."

Richard: "All right then." Richard goes behind a tree and calls out, "Namaste."

Ben and Annie blink their eyes.

Annie: "Did something just happen?"

Ben: "I … don't know. It seems like it … hey, the sun will be setting soon. I didn't realize we were out here so long."

Annie: "Me neither. I guess time does fly when you're having fun. But we better get home right away."

Ben: "Definitely."

They get up and hurry to their homes in the village, while Richard walks swiftly back toward the Temple.

* * *

Daniel, Bea, Miles, Charles, and the redshirt Other return from Othersville, not seeing Richard, Ben, and Annie along the way. They meet up with the large group near the Temple.

Daniel: "We're back, and I let little Charlotte see me just like I was supposed to. Anything interesting happen here?"

Juliet: "These Others took the kid Ben and his girlfriend into the Temple and did something to wipe Ben's memories of meeting us, so when he does meet us in twenty-seven years everything will go as it's supposed to."

Desmond: "I think that implies your plane will crash in 2004 as it did before."

Charlie: "And now Ben will order Ethan to kidnap Claire. Sorry about that, my love."

Claire: "But if that plane didn't crash, I probably would have given Aaron up for adoption. If he was born healthy. I can't imagine doing that now, so there's nothing to be sorry about."

Michael: "And if Ben remembered Walt as a friend, Ben might not be so eager to have Ethan kidnap Walt and then arrange for his torture."

Walt: "I'm so glad you're always looking out for my best interest."

Bea: "'Torture is too strong a word. Mostly we made him take tests, and left him tied up a lot. But I arranged it so he wouldn't mind so much."

Michael: "He didn't mind being tied up long before he met you."

Locke: "That's right. Ever since I cured him of being a brat by drugging him and tying him to a tree."

Boone: "That brings back memories. Oh, there was another thing, these people have a nuclear bomb here."

Daniel: "I have an idea what we could do with a nuclear bomb."

Charlie: "How about getting as far away from it as possible?"

Sawyer: "Gotta go along with the Hobbit on that one."

Daniel: "No. I mean if we can detonate it at exactly the right place, where there's an electromagnetic radiation anomaly, then all this time-jumping should stop."

Shannon: "It still sounds like a good idea to be as far away from that as possible."

Boone: "I have to agree. It wouldn't do us much good to stop time traveling if we're going to be exposed to lethal radiation."

Daniel: "But the idea is that if we're in the right time, we can take the submarine out of here."

Charlotte: "But what about those on the Kabanahana?"

Ana-Lucia: "The what?"

Charlotte: "Kabanahana. Our freighter."

Hurley: "Dudettes, no one ever got around to mentioning its name before. That was a serious omission."

Charlotte: "Well, too late to go back and change that now. Anyway, we can't just let them sit there if a nuclear bomb is going to go off."

Daniel: "If we do get back to the right time, then the Zodiac speedboat will be there, and we can go back where we came from."

Cindy: "Wasn't there a reason for your coming here?"

Charlotte: "Oh yeah, we were hired to bring Ben Linus to Charles Widmore. That doesn't seem so important now."

Libby: "What about those Others in that village of theirs?"

Juliet: "I suppose I could contact Ben by that walkie-talkie I'm supposed to report to him on. By now he's probably figured out that I'm not coming back to that group."

Shannon: "Isn't a nuclear bomb kind of heavy to carry around?"

Daniel: "Actually, we only need the core, probably around ten kilograms."

Ana-Lucia: "That seems awfully convenient."

Hurley: "Are you sure that isn't eight kilograms, or fifteen?"

Sayid: "That could be close to twenty-three pounds. Is there a timer on the device?"

Eloise: "Yes. Once the trigger is released, it will go off in 108 hours."

Hurley: "That's more like it."

Sawyer: "Are you serious about this plan?"

Daniel: "Yes. I believe it's our best chance to get home. Otherwise we could be jumping through time forever."

Kate: "Won't you get serious radiation burn if you handle the core?"

Daniel: "I won't be handling it for long. I presume it is encased in lead?"

Eloise: "Yes, but as you said, it might be leaking."

Jack: "I'm perfectly capable of treating radiation burns."

Daniel: "Then let's go for it."

Charles Widmore: "Wait a minute. We can't just let these people take the bomb. They might use it against us."

Eloise: "That doesn't make sense. They need everything to play out correctly."

Bea: "There were no reports of a nuclear device being detonated on this island as far as I know."

Sayid, to Charles: "I can understand you not trusting us. Why don't you and whatever friends you wish accompany us until the next time shift? If Daniel is holding onto the bomb at the time, it and all of us should disappear, and you won't have to worry about that any more."

Charles thinks it over. "That sounds reasonable."

Daniel: "Then let's hurry. We don't know when the next time shift will be."

Daniel, Sayid, and Michael rush to disassemble the nuclear warhead and take out the core. They are amazingly efficient, and soon Daniel is holding the prize.

Kate: "So now you have to keep holding it until we time jump?"

Daniel: "Actually, any one of us who's been time jumping should be holding it at all times. But it's my idea, so I should take the responsibility."

Richard returns from having delivered young Ben and Annie to Othersville.

Richard: "What's going on here?"

Daniel: "We're taking this bomb to try to stop all the time jumping. Do you have an idea where we should set it off?"

Richard: "The Swan is a possibility. It was supposed to cover up electromagnetic radiation."

Desmond: "But the timer ran down and it wasn't destroyed. Lots of rockets and balloons, though."

Richard: "Then perhaps the Orchid. Are you familiar with that?"

Daniel: "No."

Richard: "That is the site where there's this wheel that was created to move the island through time and space as a last resort. It's dangerous, and apparently isn't working correctly."

Bea: "Ben never told anyone what went on at the Orchid, except for its cover of doing experiments with plants."

Richard: "That might be the place to try then."

The ground slowly starts to shake, and then increases in intensity. Then there is a burst of bright violet light. From the Hostiles' perspective, the Losties simply vanish. The Losties find themselves where they were standing, but the time is just before dawn.

Sayid: "Look! The planets and stars are in the same position as when we started time jumping. We're back in 2004!"

There is a lot of cheering.

Daniel: "Oops."

Charlotte: "What's the matter?"

Daniel: "This last time jump evidently set of the trigger of this bomb. We have 108 hours to figure out what to do."


	89. The Last Island Recruit

On August 26, 2007, Eloise flies with the forgotten Seth and Joanna to Los Angeles, where they arrive at the Lamp Post Station. Eloise takes them down to an underground chamber, pushes some buttons, and analyzes the results.

Joanna: "What are you doing?"

Eloise: "Finding out how you can get those three years back and save the world."

Seth: "What do we have to do?"

Eloise: "You have to fly another plane to these coordinates. The same people must be on it so that balance is restored, so Joanna must be your only passenger."

Joanna: "What happens if we don't?"

Eloise: "Since the world thinks you've been dead for three years, your showing up now will cause lots of questions that you won't be able to answer satisfactorily. No one will believe your story, so you most likely either will be tried and convicted for faking your own deaths, and possibly causing those of the other Oceanic Flight 815 passengers, or you will be committed to a sanitarium … no wait … sanatorium, I keep getting those confused."

Joanna: "That doesn't sound so good."

Seth: "I agree. But I'm not crazy about flying near that island again."

Eloise: "But this time someone will know where you are. I can give you a tracking device."

Seth: "Cool. So when do we leave?"

Eloise: "The sooner the better. We must do this before the island moves again."

Joanna: "Can I get some new clothes? The only thing I've had for the last three months or so is this orange bikini."

Eloise: "No. You must be wearing the same thing as when you left the island."

Seth, to Joanna: "I guarantee the pilot won't object to your attire."

Joanna: "How chivalrous of you."

Since Eloise has made arrangements in advance, there is a suitable fueled plane ready for Seth and Joanna. Seth gets into the pilot's seat, and Joanna the copilot's seat. Joanna can't fly a plane but it is neat to be in the cockpit. They take off for the designated coordinates, which puts them on a path in the general direction of Guam.

* * *

On the Kabanahana, the bright flash of violet is observed.

Naomi: "Look! The island's back!"

Keamy: "Now's our chance to get Linus."

Penny: "And my chance to find Desmond."

Captain Gault: "Frank, prepare the helicopter immediately."

Frank: "It's been ready to go at a moment's notice for days."

Gault: "Then get going."

Frank, Naomi, Penny, Keamy, Regina, and Omar pile into the helicopter.

Keamy: "Why are we taking Blondie with us?"

Gault: "She's been consuming our resources and I'd like to get rid of her. Also, you can drop her off first to make landing is safe."

Penny: "Thanks for your concern."

The helicopter takes off.

Naomi: "The Oceanic passengers had settled in the south part of the island."

Keamy: "That's out of the way. Why should we accommodate her?"

Penny: "Can't we look for people from the air?"

Keamy: "This is supposed to be a surprise attack."

Penny: "But you're working for my Daddy."

Frank: "I can fly in from the south, dump the precious daughter off at the first sign of human life, make sure it's safe, and then continue flying low to Linus's compound."

The plan is agreed to by all onboard.

* * *

The 2004 version of Ben and Mikhail see the violet light between their village and the Orchid.

Ben: "Annie."

Mikhail: "What?"

Ben: "Something just clicked in my mind. I have to find someone I knew a long time ago."

Mikhail: "Snap out of it. It looks like the island is back to normal. Let's go see what our village is like."

Ben: "That's probably a good idea."

Ben and Mikhail go to the village, which looks perfectly normal. They find Ethan at the DeGroovy Building.

Ben: "Ethan! What's been going on the last few days?"

Ethan: "Something strange. Communications haven't been working at all. And you two have been missing, but the rest of us have been going on like normal. There just hasn't been anything to do."

Ben: "Well, you and Mikhail get communications up. I'm going to check on our security system."

They all get busy.

* * *

The large group is discussing what to do.

Boone: "Does anyone have a plan?"

Daniel: "I have to get this bomb to the Orchid."

Charlotte: "I'm going with you."

Sawyer: "Are we just going to trust you two with an atomic bomb?"

Jack: "You're perfectly welcome to go along with them."

Shannon: "Do you guys know where this Orchid is?"

Daniel and Charlotte shake their heads.

Charlotte: "We only knew where the Tempest was."

Michael: "Does anyone remember what that was about?"

Bea: "That was where they released the nitrous oxide and put everyone in a laughing spell for two weeks."

Juliet: "Well, I know where the Orchid is. I'll go with Sawyer. And those other two."

Locke: "While I'm here, I'd like to see the Temple."

Eko: "Same here."

Ana-Lucia: "It's pretty close, why don't we all take a look? Maybe there's something useful in there."

Jack: "Yes, there might be food or medical supplies in there. It can't hurt to look."

They go to the Temple, and find it completely deserted and empty.

Sayid: "No one has been here in years."

Kate: "Don't feel bad Jack; it was worth a shot."

Jack: "I don't feel bad."

Locke: "This must be telling us something."

Shannon: "Like we need to get moving?"

Daniel: "Definitely. We've got a bomb to deliver."

Sayid: "Some of us need to check to see what shape the submarine is in. I'm going there."

Desmond: "There still should be a good food supply at our old hatch. Some of us need to check that out."

Hurley: "Food is always important."

Jack: "We should pick a place to meet up."

Sun: "Isn't the hatch the best shelter?"

Jack: "I guess so. Everybody make up their minds where to go, and try to meet at the Swan tonight."

Daniel, Charlotte, Sawyer, and Juliet proceed to the Orchid with the bomb.

Jin: "I'd like to see if the fish I caught before all this time-jumping started are still near the submarine, so I'll go with Sayid."

Claire: "There may be peanut butter at the Swan. I'm going there."

Desmond: "Actually I'm kind of sick of that hatch. I'll go to the sub."

Michael: "Where do you want to go, Walt?"

Walt: "The pit filled with poison ivy might still be near the sub, and I've had enough of stupid things happening to me. Let's go to the hatch."

Danielle: "If we're back in our own time, my traps could be anywhere. You still better watch out."

Zach: "How about we follow right behind you?"

Emma: "That's messed up – a good idea coming from you."

Sayid, Shannon, Jack, Kate, Jin, Sun, Eko, Ana-Lucia, Desmond, Rose, Bernard, Alex, Karl, and Miles take a path to the new beach camp where the submarine is. Locke, Danielle, Claire, Charlie, Boone, Cindy, Hurley, Libby, Michael, Bea, Walt, Emma, and Zach head for the Swan Station.

* * *

The helicopter comes in from the southwest part of the island. Consequently they spot the group heading to the hatch first. Naomi looks through binoculars.

Naomi: "Subjects spotted. None of our team is there."

Penny: "Is Desmond there? They're too far away for me to see. Can I borrow the binoculars?"

Keamy: "Too bad, and no. Out you go."

Keamy opens a helicopter door.

Penny: "Aren't you going to land?"

Frank: "It takes too much fuel to land and get going again. I'll lower this chopper near the ground, and you can jump."

Keany: "If you don't, I'll push you."

Frank lowers the helicopter to within a meter of the ground and 108 meters away from the group heading toward the Swan, and Penny decides it's best to jump. She lands safely.

Naomi: "The island is safe to land on. We can no go after Linus."

Frank flies the helicopter away. The nearby group of Oceanics makes their way to where they saw the helicopter come close to the ground. The first to reach Penny are Walt, Emma, and Zach. Penny is startled by the savage-looking outfits of the children. The children laugh at the sight of another woman dropping in wearing a bikini, this one yellow with red polka dots.

Penny gasps. "Who are you?"

Zach: "We ask the questions around here."

Emma: "Yeah, who are you?"

Penny, still a bit in shock, stares at the kids.

Walt: "If you don't answer, you're liable to get tied to a tree and interrogated."

The adults reach the scene. Penny isn't expecting so many scantily clad people, apart from Hurley, Danielle, and Bea.

Michael: "What's going on? Who is this?"

Walt: "The stranger isn't talking."

Penny: "I-I'm Penny Widmore. I'm looking for Desmond Hume. Is he here?"

Libby: "She came from those helicopter people who've caused all sorts of trouble. We can't be too quick to trust her."

Penny: "I'm not from their group. They dropped me off to make sure the island is safe to walk on; something weird has been happening to it recently."

Locke: "Why don't you tell us what you know about the island?"

Penny: "I only know that Desmond is supposed to be on it. Now are you going to tell me? I didn't expect to be greeted by kids threatening that I'd be tied to a tree."

Boone: "It's sort of a pastime here."

Michael: "That's right. The last pretty young woman we found wandering around in a bikini was tied to a tree and interrogated."

Charlie: "Right, that would have been Juliet. Pretty much everyone who isn't too old gets tied up or something around here."

Penny: "Are you insane? I don't need to be tied up to be questioned."

Bea: "It was much more entertaining when we interrogated Walt that way."

Danielle: "Insanity may be prevalent on this island. People tell me that I used to be insane."

Emma: "Like when you thought I was your daughter and you chained me to a bed to keep me from escaping?"

Zach: "I think that showed excellent judgment on Danielle's part."

Emma: "So did her having me hogtie you and Walt."

Libby: "And I when I first saw Walt I thought he was an extraterrestrial alien."

Cindy: "That may or may not be a sign of insanity."

Locke is already cutting vines with one of the knives he always has with him. Penny is stunned at the conservation that she doesn't know how to react. Within moments Locke, Boone, Walt, Emma, and Zach tie her to a handy tree. When she realizes what has happened, she finds she can only wiggle her fingers behind her back and her toes a little.

* * *

Daniel, Charlotte, Sawyer, and Juliet reach the Orchid. Due to the general disorganization the past few days and with Juliet's guidance, they are able to sneak into it.

Charlotte: "So what do we do with the bomb?"

Daniel: "We can leave it anywhere here; it's certainly powerful enough to affect any anomaly that is in this building."

Sawyer: "So you can hide it under a potted plant?"

Daniel: "Sure. At least if it's a large plant."

Juliet: "What a brilliant suggestion."

They hide the nuclear warhead under a large plant and scram, heading back toward the Swan Station far to the south-southwest.

* * *

The other large group reaches the southeast beach camp and finds the submarine. It is as they left it, although the vessel is now free of the rocks, bobbing up and down. The zip line is still attached between it and a tree.

Kate: "Look, there's that pile of wood Sawyer chopped before this time travel nonsense started."

Desmond: "We're definitely in the right time and place, finally."

Jack: "Do you think we can operate the sub?"

Sayid: "We should be able to. It appears to be clear of those rocks – the tide must be higher now than when we first came here."

Ana-Lucia: "If we can run the sub, we can take it back to our original beach camp a lot faster than walking."

Desmond: "But what about navigating it? Won't it still go off course?"

Eko: "And might we act all weird again?"

Sayid: "I can't guarantee that won't happen. But we may need to risk it to leave this island and do it right this time."

Shannon: "How about if we don't dive the sub? Leave the hatch open so we get fresh air, and someone can be up there and give directions."

There is a pause as Shannon's suggestion is considered.

Sayid: "That's brilliant!"

Sun: "Why didn't we think of that before?"

Jin: "Because submarines normally travel underwater?"

Kate: "And it's natural to hide when running. Not that I have any experience with that, I just read it somewhere."

Jack: "It doesn't matter. Let's go for it."

Miles: "What about the Zodiac boat that Charlotte, Daniel, and me came in? Some of us can take that."

Rose: "A cruise on the open water might be nice."

Bernard: "Any time I'm with you is nice."

Karl: "I need to come up with lines like that."

Alex: "Nobody expects you to. Say, who knows how to operate the boat? Does anyone have a key?"

Miles: "I guess that would be me. We can stick close to the sub."

Rose, Bernard, Karl, Alex, and Miles make their way to the powerboat.

Kate: "Who will ride on the top of the submarine?"

Sayid: "It was Shannon's idea, so I think she should have the honor."

Shannon: "Then let's go!"

Those who aren't going to the Kodiak speedboat climb along the zip line and into the sub. They untie the line and start sailing around the south end of the island to the west.

* * *

The crew in the helicopter approaches Othersville.

Naomi: "Target is in sight. We will reach it in about one minute."

Keamy: "Good. It's about time we got Linus and got this mission over with."

Frank: "There's that sonic fence, and … uh oh."

Naomi: "What's the matter?"

Frank: "There's some orange smoke ahead. What was the story about that?"

Regina and Omar: "Arrrrgh!"

Naomi: "I think the smoke doesn't like Keamy."

Keamy is speechless.

Frank: "What should I do?"


	90. Dude and Dudette

The helicopter in which Frank, Naomi, Keamy, Omar, and Regina are flying encounters the orange smoke.

Keamy: "Back off! That thing hurt us very badly last time."

Frank turns the chopper around, but it is too late. The orange smoke seizes them and tosses them high into the air.

* * *

The plane Seth and Joanna are flying in approaches the island. Suddenly they fly into a cloud of orange smoke. As they try to avoid it, they see a helicopter apparently being thrown out of the smoke. Frank turns the steering handles as far as he can, but the small plane clips the helicopter. Both aircraft spiral downward, and hit the ground not too hard. The occupants are shaken a bit, and get out of the damaged flying machines.

Naomi: "Who are you?"

Seth: "I'm Seth and this is Joanna. We're minor characters but we came back to stop the island from time-traveling and save the world."

Joanna: "Yes. We were almost killed early on but the other passengers managed to keep us alive before almost totally ignoring us. Who are you?"

Keamy: "We're on a mission that's none of your business."

Omar: "But Regina and I are also minor characters. Pleased to meet you."

Regina: "Hello."

Frank: "We need to contact someone. Please go away a distance and don't eavesdrop."

The mercenary crew calls the Kabanahana.

Naomi: "Captain Gault? We dropped off that Penny girl all right, but then ran into that orange smoke again. We collided with a small airplane with two unimportant people on it. What should we do?"

Gault: "Take shelter, and see if you can fix the chopper. Don't tell the insignificant people anything."

Naomi: "Roger. Over and out."

Addressing everyone there: "The closest good shelter is the Pearl Station. There may be spare parts there we can use to fix our chopper."

The group gathers the supplies they can and hike to the Pearl Station.

* * *

Locke, Danielle, Claire, Charlie, Boone, Cindy, Hurley, Libby, Michael, Bea, Walt, Emma, and Zach are in a group around Penny, who has just been tied to a tree and awaiting an interrogation. When no one starts, she speaks up.

Penny: "Well, let's get this over with. What are you waiting for? Are you just going to stare at me?"

Boone: "It is kind of nice just staring at you."

Penny: "You can stare at me without tying me up."

Michael: "If you want to fit in with this crowd, you need a turn at being interrogated tied up."

Penny: "Why would I want to fit in with your crowd? I just want to find Desmond and get out of here."

Charlie: "Desmond fit into our crowd pretty well."

Penny: "Does that mean he's been running dressed like this is some big beach party?"

Claire: "Well, yes. There's been a lot of clothing accidents, and we were never able to get new clothes."

Cindy: "And Penny, you're dressed for the beach as well."

Locke: "Yes, what's up with that? And we're supposed to be the ones asking the questions."

Penny: "I had information that Desmond was on this island. I parachuted down from an airplane, but the island disappeared from under me, and I landed in the ocean. I was able to unstrap my parachute and get out of my heavy clothes, and put on this bikini that was in my pack. Then I got picked up by this helicopter from the Kabanahana freighter. They said they were looking for this Linus person on this island. They kept me there until the island reappeared, and dropped me off to make sure it was safe to land."

Locke: "So while you were a guest on the Kabanahana, they never offered you clothes?"

Penny: "No. They claimed that since I wasn't one of them, I wasn't entitled to any of theirs. And there was the excuse that this way they could be sure I wasn't trying to carry a concealed weapon."

Bea: "That was an excuse we gave Walt to keep him in a loincloth for so long."

Penny: "But I think the real reason is that they liked seeing me in a bikini all the time. Which seems to give them something in common with you, except that they never tied me up."

Boone: "Well, it wasn't like you were going anywhere jumping off a ship in the middle of the ocean."

Penny: "And you think I'm going somewhere on this island I don't know anything about?"

Locke: "We can't be sure of that."

Libby: "You are wearing the perfect outfit to allay suspicion."

Penny: "Is there any way of convincing you?"

Locke: "You can answer more questions. How was it that you came to suspect Desmond was here?"

Penny: "I hired two guys named Mathias and Henrik to keep a watch for electromagnetic anomalies. Desmond had been involved in some experiments involving electromagnetic radiation before he disappeared. Eight days ago, at least by my time, they reported an anomaly at these coordinates. An associate of my father's named Abaddon flew me here, and I parachuted out of the plane. I didn't expect the island to vanish, and I lost my communication equipment. The rest I told you – since then I was on that freighter until today."

Hurley: "That story's rather mild compared to some of the things that have gone on around here."

Penny: "Like how did this island disappear?"

On their way back from the Orchid, Sawyer, Juliet, Daniel, and Charlotte come across the group questioning Penny. It brings back fond memories of the first time they met, when Juliet had been similarly tied to a tree by Locke and Boone. Sawyer and Juliet can't help but giggle.

Penny: "So you think this is funny?"

Juliet: "Of course it is. It's something we do here. I certainly had my turn. Who are you, by the way?"

Penny: "I'm Penelope Widmore, and I'm here to find Desmond Hume."

Sawyer smiles broadly and gestures with a deep bow: "Well how do you do, Ms. Pennilicious?"

Penny: "I'm usually called Penny. And what are you grinning about?"

Juliet: "Sawyer hasn't had a chance to call a new person by a nickname in a long time."

Penny: "Glad I could be of help."

Locke: "Now we should continue where we left off. You just asked about the island disappearing."

Daniel: "I'm most qualified to answer that. We've determined that this island has been travelling through time and space. We could tell the time by the positions of the planets, and met people from the different time periods. We think that the time shifting was caused an ancient wheel underground, but we think we've put a stop to it."

Penny: "Isn't anyone going to tell me about Desmond?"

Charlie: "Sure. Desmond crashed here on his sailboat about three years ago. He said he ran into someone named Kelvin, and they had to enter some numbers on a computer in a hatch to keep the island from blowing up or something. Then Kelvin ran away never to be heard from again, so Desmond was alone for two years pushing these buttons every 104 to 108 minutes."

Penny: "That sounds awful. Alone all that time? I'd think it would drive him insane."

Danielle: "Yes, I can vouch for that."

Boone: "My sister can be insane without being alone."

Zach: "So can my sister."

Emma: "Hey! And my brother."

Michael: "And my son."

Walt: "DAAAAAAAAD!"

Bea: "Michael, after all those 'WAAAAALLLLLT's' you deserved that."

Hurley: "We're getting off topic. To continue, we found this hatch."

Boone: "I found that hatch, with John's help."

Hurley: "Anyway, we eventually found our way in, and there was Desmond. After he explained his situation, we took shifts at button-pushing duty."

Penny: "Is someone on duty now?"

Hurley: "Um, no. One day John let the numbers run down, and it turns out we weren't saving the world after all. There was a bright flash of green light, and then there were lots of fireworks and balloons."

Penny: "When was this?"

Hurley: "I think eight days ago."

Penny: "That's when I got the news about the electromagnetic anomaly that might be Desmond. That must be the same event."

Daniel: "It does seem likely. Everything fits."

Penny: "So, where is Desmond now?"

Claire: "He went with the group to see if the submarine was operable. They're supposed to meet up with us in the hatch, or Swan Station, late afternoon or evening."

Penny: "What submarine?"

Claire: "We were given the submarine by the Others to sail away from this island, but the navigation was rigged and we wound up back on the island, on the other side, I believe southeast. There was also something in the air in that sub that made us all act crazy."

Penny: "How could you possibly tell the difference between that and how you're acting now?"

There is silence for several seconds. Then,

Walt: "Hey, isn't the person who's tied up supposed to be answering questions instead of us answering all her questions?"

Michael: "Walt, we all acknowledge you as the supreme authority of being interrogated while tied up, but Penny is new here and she's already answered a lot of questions."

Bea: "And remember, we did answer several of your questions while you were our prisoner."

Walt: "But a lot of those answers were lies. I can't believe how many times Ben fooled me."

Penny: "Thank you. One more thing, you said you fixed it so the island wouldn't time-jump any more? How can you be sure?"

Daniel: "We dropped a nuclear bomb into the Orchid."

Penny: "So you tied me to a tree waiting for the bomb to go off? Isn't that kind of rude?"

Charlotte: "We, I mean the little group I just came from, didn't tie you to the tree, and it won't go off for about four days."

Locke: "Maybe she's had enough. Do you all agree?"

There is reluctant nodding. Locke then shows off by throwing his knife from behind the tree and slicing the ropes binding Penny's feet and hands. The group then heads toward the Swan Station. Along the way, they pass the tree where the walkie-talkie that Juliet is supposed to report to Ben with is hidden.

Juliet: "Oh, maybe I should make my fake report to Ben. Perhaps I can find out something."

Juliet calls Ben. "Hello?"

Ben: "Juliet! What took you so long to call?"

Juliet: "Didn't you notice? The island did a lot of funny things recently. I was hoping you could tell me what's been going on."

Ben: "Since when do I provide information? You're supposed to report to me."

Juliet: "Fine. We think we've been jumping through time, and maybe space. Didn't you notice that?"

Ben: "Well, yes, that appears to be the most likely explanation. It appears that we are in our own time now."

Juliet: "Yes. And we think we found a way to stop the time-jumping?"

Ben: "Really? How did you manage that?"

Juliet: "We placed an atomic bomb in a key place. I guess I should tell you that you need to evacuate everything in three days."

Ben: "You did what? Where did you get an atomic bomb?"

Juliet: "I guess 'nuclear warhead' is a better description. We picked it up in 1977, I believe."

Ben: "1977? Back then I was … oh wait, it's making more sense. But it may be a problem evacuating everyone. Do you still have the submarine?"

Juliet: "Yes. You did something funny to it, and made us act all strange. I couldn't stop from throwing myself at every man I saw. But we did leave Desmond's sailboat at the ferry when we boarded the sub."

Ben: "Wonderful. Between that and the powerboat I planned to let Michael and Walt leave on we can get away. But now I need some time to devise new plans."

Juliet: "Oh well, nice chatting with you. We need to make plans too. Bye."

The group continues to the Swan Station.

* * *

Sayid, Shannon, Jack, Kate, Jin, Sun, Eko, Ana-Lucia, and Desmond are on the submarine sailing around the south end of the island from east to west. Sayid is at the controls while Shannon is riding up at the top, as the group decided to leave the submarine hatch open so as to keep fresh air circulating.

Shannon: "Wheeee! This is fun."

Jack: "I want a turn."

Kate: "Do you mean driving or riding on top?"

Jack: "Riding on top. I've already been inside the sub for days."

Ana-Lucia: "Sayid, how long is this going to take?"

Sayid: "Should be just about four hours."

Eko: "It sounds fair for everyone to take turns for half an hour."

Jin: "Can Sun and I take our turns together? Then we get a combined whole hour."

Sun: "If we can both fit up there at the same time."

Jin: "I don't mind if I get stuck to you."

Jack: "Did you hear that Shannon? Someone will take your place in half an hour."

Shannon: "Do I have to?"

Jack: "Uh, too much sun isn't good for you."

Shannon: "This is nothing compared to all the time I've been in the sun for the past three months."

Desmond: "I got it. Shannon, you'll get to spend more time with Sayid if we take turns riding on top."

Shannon: "Okay."

They continue the trip, with Shannon, Jack, Kate, Sun and Jin who do get stuck for fifteen minutes in the narrow opening, Ana-Lucia, Eko, and finally Desmond riding on top and giving directions to Sayid. After the four hours, the original beach is spotted.

Desmond: "Land, ho!"

Sayid: "Haven't you been able to see land continuously?"

Desmond: "Aye, but it sounds so cool saying that."

Sayid steers the submarine close to the shore, and the passengers get out and onto the beach. They tie a rope from the sub to some trees so it won't float away.

* * *

Rose, Bernard, Karl, Alex, and Miles are on the Zodiac speedboat following the submarine. Alex and Karl admire Rose and Bernard's loving relationship.

Karl: "It must be great having a relationship for so long. What it is, forty, fifty years?"

Bernard chokes. "We're not that old."

Karl: "Sorry. Um, thirty years?"

Rose chuckles. "Actually, it's been about four months."

Alex: "Karl, I think you just made a faux pas."

Rose: "That's all right. Bernard and I met less than a year ago, and we were in Australia for our honeymoon. Couldn't have predicted it would turn out like this."

Bernard: "But it doesn't matter as long as we're together. Those first forty-two days apart were awful, but all is well now."

Karl: "At least if we get off the island before it blows up."

Alex: "Say Karl, where do you think would be a good place for a honeymoon?"

Karl: "Right now I'm thinking about some place that isn't an island."

Miles: "Why am I here?"

The speedboat follows the submarine to the original beach. They secure the boat and follow the rest to the Swan Station.

* * *

The group on foot reaches the Swan first.

Boone: "So this is the place we first called the hatch."

Penny: "How do you get in?"

Sawyer: "Try ringing the doorbell, Penny Candy."

Penny rings the doorbell, and gets squirted in the face with seltzer water. Everybody else laughs.

Penny: "You people are unbelievable!"

Michael: "That joke never gets old. I had to wait weeks to pull that on Walt."

Walt: "Right. Good thing you're wearing a bathing suit, Penny."

Claire: "I just remembered something." Holding Aaron, Claire pushes past everyone, goes into the Swan Station, and races to the pantry. "There's still peanut better here!"

Everyone else goes inside and gets something to eat.

Hurley ponders a big decision, and decided to take action. He wanders around looking for something appropriate, and eventually finds some washers in a box of spare parts. He picks up one with a hole a dainty finger can fit through, finds Libby, and gets down on one knee.

Hurley: "Libby, whether or not we get off this island in the next few days I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Hurley extends the washer toward her.

Libby is overwhelmed: "Really? You aren't afraid I'll go crazy and rant about extraterrestrial aliens at inconvenient moments?"

Hurley: "That's part of your charm. So what do you say?"

Libby takes the ring from Hurley.

Libby: "I say yes! We have to set a date."

Hurley: "Is tonight okay? In case the island does something funny again, I'd like us to be married when it happens so we'll always be together."

Libby: "I don't have any other plans for tonight. Let's do this … oh we need Eko for this. He went with the group to the submarine."

Hurley: "Then if they get back here in time we'll get hitched tonight. Otherwise, tomorrow night. Deal?"

Libby: "Deal."

* * *

The groups from the submarine and powerboat arrive at the Swan and go downstairs without ringing the doorbell. Like most of the others, Desmond gets something to eat, and unexpectedly finds himself face to face with Penny. His jaw drops as he can't believe his eyes.

Desmond: "Penny! How did you get here?"

Penny: "I had someone watching out for electromagnetic disturbances, and …"

They embrace for a long time.

Desmond: "Why don't we go to a more private area and catch up"

Penny: "Good idea. These people are crazy."

Desmond: "They may have their quirks, but they're good people. There's another group up north of here who aren't so good. By the way, I have the music for the outfit you're wearing here."

Penny: "You mean 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini'? You romantic devil, you."

Desmond and Penny go off to a side room and close the door.

* * *

Hurley and Libby find Eko.

Hurley: "Eko, Libby and I just got engaged. Can you marry us?"

Eko: "I'd be delighted to. Have you picked a date?"

Hurley: "Can you do it now? In case something goofy happens to the island again we want our souls to be united forever."

Eko: "Okey-doke. And I have just the idea for your wedding vows. How do you want to handle the announcement?"

Libby: "You can do it. Just invite everybody."

Eko: "You got it. Hey everyone, it is my pleasure to announce that Hurley and Libby are getting married as soon as we can get to my church."

There are a lot of cheers and congratulations.

Eko: "Have you determined the wedding party?"

Hurley: "I want Charlie to be my best man."

Eko: "And do you have a maid of honor?"

Libby: "I don't know … someone who hasn't been one yet. Oh, if Hurley picked Charlie, I should pick Claire."

Eko: "Good. Now what about groomsmen and maids of honor?"

Libby: "Who else hasn't been one yet?"

Hurley: "Let's see … Daniel, Bernard, and Miles for groomsmen, and Charlotte, Danielle, and Penny as bridesmaids."

Libby: "None of us really knows Penny."

Hurley: "It would be nice after we left her tied to that tree for so long. And Desmond already was a groomsman at Shannon and Sayid's wedding, so it balances out."

Libby: "Fine. Let's go."

Everyone gathers at Eko's church.

Eko: "Thank you all for coming. In light of this glorious occasion, the wedding vows have been adapted to suit this special couple."

Hurley and Libby take their places at the altar.

Eko: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together today to witness the joining of this dude and this dudette in holy matrimony. Hurley, do you take Libby to be your lawfully wedded dudette, in sickness and in health, for better, worse, richer, poorer, and all those other things?"

Hurley: "I do."

Eko: "Libby, do you take Hurley to be your lawfully wedded dude, under all the same conditions he just agreed to?"

Libby: "I do."

Eko: "If there be any dude or dudette present who can give cause why this union should not take place, would you please shut up and forever hold your peace?"

There are no objections.

Eko: "I now pronounce you dude and dudette." Facing Hurley, "You may kiss the dudette."

The newlyweds have a prolonged kiss to many cheers.


	91. What They Lived For

The next morning, Ben holds a meeting with all of the Others still in Othersville.

Ben: "I have important news. The Oceanics have apparently found a way to stop this island from skipping through time, but we have to evacuate the island."

Tom: "How come?"

Ben: "Because they placed a nuclear warhead in a key location and it will go off in three days."

Tom: "That sounds like a pretty good reason."

Goodwin: "Where is it?"

Ben: "The only places on the island where it makes sense to place such a device are the Swan and the Orchid. I spoke to Juliet, and it's clear they dropped it off far from where they are now, which is the Swan."

Ethan: "Can't someone go to the Orchid then and take it away?"

Ben: "You want to volunteer for the job?"

Ethan: "Uh, I'm not fond of handling radioactive materials. Isn't there someone unimportant we can send, like Isabel?"

Isabel: "I'm right here."

Ethan: "Oh. It's just that you haven't been involved in anything since those attempts to stress Walt in Room 23."

Isabel: "Hey, you enjoyed dunking him in the slime water, hitting him in the face with a pie after locking him in the stocks, and spraying Silly String on him after you suspended him from the ceiling, with the rest of us. How was I supposed to know he would be so resilient?"

Ethan: "Those were good times."

Ben: "Don't squabble. Isabel did follow my instructions to use the feather duster on the pendulum when the other methods failed. But even if someone did successfully move the bomb off the island, it would still keep skipping through time and space."

Mikhail: "Would we be able to return to the island in the future?"

Ben: "According to Juliet, the nuclear device was the one that was brought to the island in 1954 and removed in 1977. If that is the case, it will be safe to return in one year. Possibly less, if the Orchid shields the island well from the radiation."

Danny: "So what are the plans?"

Ben: "We take the vital equipment we can carry to the boats and leave in the correct compass heading. We have the boat Michael was supposed to take Walt away from before Michael decided not to betray his friends, and the sailboat that Desmond crashed into the island with. The one difficulty is avoiding that freighter Charles Widmore has out there trying to catch me."

Ethan: "Do you have any ideas?"

Ben: "I'm renowned for having excellent plans. We can create a diversion. Send some of the less important people and equipment out on Desmond's sailboat, while the rest of us can sneak off on the smaller boat."

Isabel: "Who exactly are the less important people?"

Isabel is not reassured by the ensuing silence. "How about Greta and Bonnie? They've been doing nothing at the Looking Glass for ages."

Ethan: "I'm sure they will do, but we'll need more than that."

Isabel: "And what about Nathan, that red-shirted guy from the tail section we did manage to abduct?"

Ben: "Good, but we still need more than that."

Isabel can tell this conversation isn't going to go her way.

* * *

At the Swan Station, there is much jubilation at Hurley and Libby's wedding, but one figure is looking kind of sad.

Michael: "Hey John, what's got you down?"

Locke: "The idea that I have to leave this island is sinking in. It may be too much to bear."

Michael: "How about doing memorable this last day?"

Locke: "Do you have something in mind?"

Michael: "You may as well find Vincent one last time. I won't be able to live with Walt if Vincent gets left behind."

Locke cheers up a little. "You're right, that dog whistle I made must be around here somewhere."

Locke finds the whistle, goes outside, and blows it. A short time later Vincent and Gussie come running as a crowd gathers.

Walt: "Hi Vincent! We weren't going to leave without you."

Something dawns on Walt. "How are we going to take Gussie with us? She won't fit on the submarine, and is too large for that powerboat."

Charlie: "Polar bears are good swimmers. Can we tie a long rope around a leg and the periscope, and be sure not to dive the sub?"

Jack: "But polar bears swim well in cold water, not the tropics."

Shannon: "But this bear has been thriving on a tropical island."

Sayid: "It would help if we knew where we were going and how long it would take."

Penny: "Wait, I have an idea. The airplane I came here on – Abaddon can make a sling and fly your bear out of here. He can fly low and scoop Gussie out of the water."

Boone: "Sounds as practical as anything."

Penny: "Let me call him. Is one of those satellite phones around?"

Miles: "Sure, one's over here."

Penny rings up Abaddon. "Hello Abaddon, you there?"

Abaddon: "Penny! What happened to you?"

Penny: "It turns out that the island jumped in time after I parachuted and before I landed. I got picked up by this freighter, but am on the island now. I found Desmond and a lot of other people and we're ready to leave. Where are you?"

Abaddon: "I've been hanging around Guam waiting for your call. So I should pick you up at the coordinates where I dropped you off?"

Penny: "Just about. We're leaving by submarine. There's one thing: this group is attached to a polar bear, and this group is very attached to her. She appears to have been a heroine at several times. She won't fit into the submarine, so can you attach a sling to the bottom of your plane and scoop her up?"

Abaddon: "There's a polar bear on a tropical island?"

Penny: "That's less unusual than the island jumping through time."

Abaddon: "Okay, but where can I take her? I don't think Guam has a zoo with an Arctic habitat."

Penny: "Good point. We're closer to Fiji, but I wouldn't count on that. There should be one in Hawaii."

Penny looks at the group. "I think the closest place we can find a place for your polar bear friend is Hawaii. Are you all okay going there?"

Everybody nods.

Penny: "Okay then. See you Abaddon in a little while."

* * *

Back at the Pearl, Naomi has an idea.

Naomi: "It's possible the science team can still be contacted by satellite phone. I'm going to give it a shot." She makes the call.

Naomi: "Hello? Anyone there?"

Charlotte is startled by the phone ringing. "Hello? Naomi?"

Naomi: "Charlotte! What's been going on?"

Charlotte: "We think we've been jumping through time and space, but Daniel figured out a way to stop it."

Naomi: "That would explain why the island disappeared from under us. What was Daniel's idea?"

Charlotte: "He planted a nuclear bomb where it should stop this nonsense."

Naomi: "There's a nuclear bomb on the island? When will it go off?"

Charlotte: "Three days from now. I guess we better leave pretty soon."

Naomi: "Thank you for telling us. Our team crashed with a small plane, and now our helicopter is damaged. Let me check."

Naomi puts down the phone and talks to Frank. "Can you fix this?"

Frank: "Almost. We need a few parts that are available in the Swan."

Naomi: "Did you hear that? We need some parts from the Swan. Is that where you are?"

Charlotte: Yes."

Naomi: "Great. Then you can bring those."

Charlotte: "Where are you?"

Naomi: "At the Pearl Station."

Charlotte: "What parts do you need? And Daniel, get over here."

Naomi gets Frank to describe the required parts.

Daniel: "We can get those to you. But if the chopper can't be repaired, we'll need another way off. We can bring the Zodiac around the island and cut across from there."

Naomi: "Sounds like a plan."

Daniel: "Say, you said you crashed into a plane. What was that about?"

Naomi: "Oh, it was flown by that pilot, and that other girl was on it. Seth and Joanna. They said something about things would be set right if they went back to the island. We'll tell them to go down to the Swan; we don't want them in the way."

Seth and Joanna don't feel welcome and head for the Swan Station. Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles gather up the parts Frank wants. They say their good-byes and go to the Zodiac speedboat and circle around the south and west shores of the island.

* * *

In the Swan Station, Jack attempts to take charge.

Jack: "All right, I think we should all get ready to leave. I'm collecting all the medical equipment that is here."

Jin: "I'll gather the fishing gear."

Sun: "I'll check the garden and pick whatever vegetables are ripe."

Hurley: "Since we don't know how long this trip will take, we should bring all the food we can. I volunteer to be in charge of that."

Claire: "That's a big job. I want to help out. I'll be in charge of the peanut butter."

Sawyer gets a large sack and puts all sorts of things into it, including the Twister game, lots of books, spare machine parts and tools, pillows, and the record player and records.

Juliet: "What are you doing?"

Sawyer: "I realized that when we get back to civilization, I'm going to have nothing, so I'm building up a new stash."

Juliet: "But what will you be able to do with it?"

Sawyer: "Once our story gets out, they're bound to be plenty of suckers who are willing to pay big bucks for memorabilia from this place. And I have the skills to convince them that they're getting good deals." Sawyer goes off to another room to find more goodies.

Charlie: "Hey Juliet, why don't you climb in a sack? Sawyer may pay more attention to you that way."

Juliet: "That's a crazy idea. Which means on this island it will probably work."

Charlie helps Juliet into a sack. Sawyer finishes filling up one sack and decides he can carry one more. He finds and opens the one Juliet is in.

Sawyer: "Does this mean you want to be part of my stash? How romantic."

Juliet: "Actually, James, I was thinking more of being your partner in stashing, or … everything."

Sawyer gasps. "No one ever calls me 'James,' Juliet."

Juliet: "You never called me 'Juliet' before."

The lights flicker, and Sawyer and Juliet embrace.

* * *

The Oceanics gather outside, preparing to leave, when someone has second thoughts.

Locke: "I can't bring myself to leave this island. It has become my home."

Danielle: "I know how you feel. And remember that I've lived here a lot longer than you."

Locke: "I don't know if I can go on."

Danielle: "I must go on. I have to be there for my daughter and her boyfriend."

Locke: "It's nice that you have something to live for. I wish I could be there with you." A light bulb turns on over Locke's head. "I just got an idea. I can be with you, if …" Locke gets down on one knee. "Danielle, will you marry me?"

Danielle is elated. "Oh John, yes! We have so much in common, the love of the outdoors, building traps … I was hoping you would ask."

Locke: "Oh Danielle, you've made me so happy. Sorry I don't have a ring on me."

Danielle: "That's okay. I'm sure you'll carve one with one of your knives. Now let's find Eko and have the ceremony before we leave."

They find Eko, and a quick announcement is made. Everyone quickly assembles at Eko's church.

Eko: "Who should be the maid of honor and best man?"

Danielle: "Alex and Karl haven't been in on any of these."

Locke: "Sounds good."

Alex: "Oh wow, this is so exciting."

Karl: "In a couple of years that should be us up there."

Eko: "Anyone else for the wedding party?"

Juliet: "I want to get in on one of these."

Bea: "Me, too."

Jack: "Great, you can be bridesmaids. Let's get this show on the road, we need to get out of here."

Locke: "Danielle, I'm not big on fancy ceremonies, but how do you feel?"

Danielle: "Simple is fine. Let's do this."

Eko: "Great. John, do you take Danielle to be your wife?"

Locke: "I do."

Eko: "Danielle, do you take John to be your husband"

Danielle: "I do."

Eko: "Good. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Want to kiss?"

They do. There is more celebration.

* * *

About half an hour later, the passengers are on the beach ready to go, except that they need to get Gussie into the water into position to be airlifted. Walt tries to explain to Vincent so that Vincent can tell Gussie, but the message isn't getting through.

Walt: "I can't get Vincent to understand me."

Locke: "You have to try. Visualize it in your mind's eye."

Walt attempts again, picturing the polar bear in the water getting scooped up by an airplane, but his thoughts don't get transferred to Vincent or Gussie.

Walt: "It's not working. I can visualize myself doing something but not someone else. Vincent never listens to me anyway. He keeps running off, and there was the time he ran off with all my clothes when I was washing that boar crap off me. And then after you tied me to that tree, and left the knife where I could almost reach it, Vincent ran off with that."

Bea: "Michael, I think you have to say something."

Michael: "Ummm …"

Walt: "What can Dad do, Vincent is my dog? But that was strange him running off with my clothes like that. He never did anything like that in Australia."

Bea: "Perhaps someone put that idea into his head."

Walt: "It sure wasn't me. And that happened about a week after we crashed."

Juliet: "Pretty close. It was day ten."

Walt: "And the only person who ever was around Vincent then besides me was …Dad?"

Walt looks at Michael funny.

Michael takes a deep breath, and talks to Vincent. "Vincent, this island is going to blow up soon. We have to get off. Now Gussie won't fit through the hatch, but we've arranged for an airplane to pick her up from the water. So please explain to Gussie that she has to get in the water and follow the submarine, and when an airplane comes with a large sling underneath, to get in the sling. Then we will meet up later on land."

Vincent barks and nods, and then makes a series of barks and gestures to Gussie. Gussie then nods and walks into the water next to the submarine.

Walt: "Uh, thanks for helping Gussie understand what she needs to do, but … you told Vincent to steal all my clothes?"

Michael: "Not exactly. I asked him to run off with Sun's clothes when she was washing and had only her long black skirt on. Apparently that command stuck in Vincent's head and when he had the chance to grab someone else's clothes, he did."

Kate: "That dog also ran off with most of my clothes when I was swimming with Sawyer."

Michael: "When I realized what was happening and only Hurley and John still had their shirts, I asked Vincent to stop, and he did."

Walt: "So it was your fault. If it weren't for you, I could have been wearing my normal clothes all along, and didn't have to be humiliated by John tying me to that tree."

Bea: "And what do you think you would have turned out like if that hadn't happened?"

Walt has to think for a moment. "Oh, right, I guess I still would have been a brat."

Bea: "What's more, that was when you changed the first of the Vermicelli Equation numbers. If not for your father and Vincent, we never would have found out about your ability, and mankind would have been doomed in a few years."

Hurley: "Wow, those numbers became a bit of a dropped plot line."

Walt realizes he was being unfair to Michael. Walt runs up to Michael and jumps in his arms. "I love you, Dad."

Michael: "I love you, Walt."

Eko: "Confession is good for the soul."

Michael: "And now that we're cleaning up loose ends, Bea, isn't there something you'd like to say?"

Bea realizes she will lose Michael if she doesn't. "Walt, do you remember back in the village when we gave you regular clothes to wear?"

Walt: "Sure, I got all sweaty and sick."

Bea: "That was my doing. I hypnotized you so that you would overheat if you put on anything more than that loincloth of yours. I just adored you the way you were when I first saw you and wanted to keep you that way."

Emma: "Bea, that was brilliant! I'm so glad you did."

Walt can't be mad at Bea in the face of Emma's enthusiasm. "So was it was part of those experiments to get me to change those numbers? Then I guess that's all right."

Bea: "But now I should un-hypnotize you so you can go back to civilization."

Emma: "Can't we wait until the end of the submarine ride? We're not going to get any new clothes before then."

Michael: "It's up to you, Walt."

Walt: "Well, if it will make Emma happy on the trip, okay."

Bea: "One more thing. I've hypnotized you, Emma, and Zach into thinking that you're great escape artists. That's why you've been so willing to be tied up the last three weeks."

Emma: "It doesn't feel like I've been hypnotized."

Zach: "Trying to escape is so much fun! If this is what it feels like, I don't mind."

Bea: "But I have to return you to normal before you meet your mother."

Emma: "It's hard to tell what's normal for him. But that can wait till the end of the ride too."

Juliet: "Bea, can you hypnotize Sawyer so that he won't ever put on a shirt again?"

Sawyer: "Shouldn't you do the same for Juliet to be fair?"

Ana-Lucia: "We're losing focus. Everybody get on the submarine, now!"

Everyone, including Vincent, is intimidated by Ana-Lucia and quickly gets into the submarine.

Jack is in awe. "That was very impressive, Ana-Lucia."

Ana-Lucia: "Sometimes you just have to take charge. You're not that good at it."

With Sayid at the controls, the submarine departs. It goes around the south part of the island, slow enough for Gussie to follow swimming.

* * *

The Others put their plan into action. Isabel, Nathan, and some extra Others pick up Greta and Bonnie from the Looking Glass and take the sailboat in the 325 degree compass heading. They are followed by Ben, Ethan, Tom, Danny, Goodwin, and Mikhail in the small powerboat. When the Kabanahana freighter comes into view, the sailboat keeps going, while the powerboat turns sharply and heads east across the waters north of the island.

Upon seeing the sailboat, Captain Gault issues new orders.

Gault: "Naomi, Ben and his pals left on a sailboat. How are the helicopter repairs going?"

Naomi: "Luckily, we just finished fixing it."

Gault: "Then get everyone back to the Kabanahana. There's no point in staying on that island any longer."

Since there isn't enough room for everyone on the helicopter, Frank flies Naomi, Keamy, Omar, and Regina back to the Kabanahana. Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles hike back to the shore and take the Zodiac to the freighter.

Gault addresses the sailboat crew. "Come out with your hands up."

When they comply, Gault notices Ben isn't among them. "Where is Linus!"

Isabel: "Ben decided some of us weren't important. He's speeding away in the other direction on a small powerboat."

Gault: "Figures. After them!"

The Kabanahana changes course and follows Ben and his crew. Ben has a substantial lead, and it isn't clear if he can be caught before he reaches land.


	92. The Semifinal

The Kabanahana is slowly catching up to the boat containing Ben and his highest-level minions.

Mikhail: "This doesn't look good. They'll overtake us eventually."

Ethan: "Any chance that talking to Charles directly will help?"

Ben: "No, he hasn't listened to me for years, and isn't going to start now."

Ethan: "Does he ever listen to anybody?"

Ben: "No … well, he used to listen to advice from Richard. Good idea, get Richard up here."

Tom: "I don't think Richard is aboard. Looks like he's still on the island."

Ben: "What? Everyone was supposed to be off by now. That writer is losing it and needs to shut it down soon. Now we'll have to improvise." Ben thinks for a moment. "I got it. We can contact him by phone and get him to meet us here."

Mikhail: "How? By swimming?"

Ben: "Of course. This boat can't go inland like the Purple Pebble did on a tidal wave. Now give me a phone."

Ben gets a phone, and calls Richard.

Richard: "Hi Ben, what's up?"

Ben: "We kind of forgot to tell you something important yesterday. Our time-traveling friends managed to leave a nuclear bomb on the island and it's going to go off in about three days."

Richard: "Thanks for telling me. What should I do?"

Ben: "I sent the less important people on Desmond's sailboat to distract Widmore, and took the important people on the small powerboat. It worked for a little while, but Widmore has caught on and he's chasing us. I'd like to pick you up and hopefully you can talk some sense into you. He used to listen to you."

Richard: "Widmore hasn't listened to me in a long time, but I can try. Now how are you going to pick me up?"

Ben: "Your house is closest to the east shore. We have charts here, so know where you are. Just swim east and we'll find you. Carry that receiver so it will be easy for us to pinpoint you."

Richard: "Since the alternative appears to be being bombarded by radiation, I guess I have no choice. Do you know when the island will be inhabitable again?"

Ben: "No, perhaps a year but it's too soon to tell. See you."

Richard puts on a white Dharpa bathing suit, gathers up his radio phone and a month's supply of eyeliner, puts them in a hermetically sealed plastic bag, and takes off the for the east coast.

* * *

The submarine has been sailing for four hours when Penny's phone rings.

Penny: "Abaddon? Where are you?"

Abaddon: "I just got a visual on you. I'm deploying the sling now. Just need a practice run to get this right."

Penny: "Okay. We'll try to get the polar bear to understand."

They hang up, and Penny gives instructions: "Michael, you and Vincent need to explain to Gussie that Abaddon will make a practice run."

Michael: "Glad to be of so much use."

Michael climbs up the ladder to the hatch of the submarine, and Vincent is handed up to him. Michael tries to explain the situation to Vincent, but there is something confusion.

Jack: "How's it going up there?"

Michael: "Gussie doesn't completely understand. I think it would help if she saw a demonstration."

Jack: "Okay, anyone want to volunteer to be scooped up by an airplane?"

Boone: "Let me do it. I want to be in on more action."

Shannon: "You'll never change, will you? Don't forget a life jacket."

Juliet: "There might be one in Sawyer's new stash."

Sawyer: "There could be. Now what does Boonie Boy have to offer in exchange?"

Cindy: "Oh come on. In some aspects submarines are like airplanes. These seat cushions can be used as personal flotation devices."

Boone takes one of the seat cushions from Cindy and climbs up through the hatch and jumps into the ocean. He swims a distance away from the slow-moving submarine.

Penny: "Abaddon? The polar bear doesn't understand, so we're making a practice run with the guy who just jumped into the water. Do you see him?"

Abaddon: "Yes. So you want me to scoop him up, fly a little, come back, and dump him off?"

Penny: "That's exactly right. Then come get the polar bear."

Abaddon does as he described. He flies in low toward Boone, who lunges onto the large cloth sling under Abaddon's plane.

Boone: "Wheeeeeeeee!"

Shannon: "Boone, this is serious! You're not supposed to be having fun."

Sayid: "I don't think he can hear you."

Shannon: "Practice never hurts."

Abaddon flies around in a circle, and accelerates and decelerates quickly, throwing Boone off the sling. Boone squeals in excitement, and swims back to the submarine. He climbs up the ladder on the outside and back into the sub.

Boone: "That went well."

Walt: "Can I have a turn?"

Zach: "Me too!"

Emma: "Me three!"

Michael: "This isn't a carnival ride. After we get home we can make arrangements for something like that."

Jack: "Boone, I should examine you after that ordeal."

Boone: "I'm fine. That wasn't an ordeal, and I didn't need that silly floating seat cushion. Here, you can have a seat on it."

Boone tosses the seat cushion back on the seat it came from. Bea, excited over having found her camera, isn't paying attention and sits down on the wet seat.

Bea: "Did we spring a leak?"

Juliet: "No, that just came from outside. What do you have there?"

Bea: "My camera, with all those pictures of Walt, and some of Emma and Zach. It will give me something to look at during this long ride."

Meanwhile, Abaddon circles around again, and this time successfully scoops up Gussie, and heads off toward Hawaii. Vincent barks good-bye, with the expectation of meeting up later.

* * *

Due to Ben's expert navigational skills, his boat meets Richard in the water as planned. Richard climbs on board.

Ben: "Glad you could make it."

Richard: "Me too. Got a towel and some dry clothes?"

Ben: "We have a towel at least."

Danny gets a towel from inside the cabin.

Richard: "Thanks, but couldn't you have brought along some extra clothes?"

Ben: "Sorry I forgot about you. At least you look better in a bathing suit than the rest of us."

Richard: "Uh, good, I guess. At least I salvaged my eyeliner, which is more important."

The crew looks around, and sees the Kabanahana in the distance.

Richard: "That must be the freighter you've been talking about."

Ben: "Yes it is."

Richard: "If you want me to talk to Widmore if he catches us, I need to know why he is after you. You're so secretive you never told me, and knowing you I suppose you didn't tell anyone else."

Ben coughs. "That's right. It is a coincidence. The reason Widmore is after me is the same as the reason American authorities are in pursuit of Kate Austen."

* * *

A coast guard station in Hawaii observes an unusual flying object on radar. He makes contact.

Coast Guard Personnel: "Hello? Identify yourself."

Abaddon: "This is Abaddon. Request emergency landing by Honolulu Zoo for a polar bear."

Coast Guard Personnel: "So that's what that thing under your plane is. Okay, we'll get you an escort."

On hand is a nosy reporter. She pushes her way to the radio controls.

Tricia Tanaka: "Hey, there's a big story here. Let me speak to him." Tricia shoves the Coast Guard personnel out of the way. "How come you have a polar bear in the tropics?"

Abaddon: "He was on an island on which a nuclear bomb will go off in a few days."

Tricia: "Nuclear bomb? Who got hold of a bomb and put it there."

Abaddon: "The passengers from Oceanic Flight 815 put it there to stop that island from jumping about in time and space."

Tricia: "Oceanic Flight 815? Don't kid me. That's the flight the crashed into the Pacific more than three months ago with no survivors. Everyone on board has been declared legally dead."

Abaddon: "The plane crashed, but on an island where there was no communication. Want me to patch you up to them?"

Tricia: "That would be nice if you could do it."

Abaddon pushes some buttons on his phone.

Penny: "What's up?"

Abaddon: "I've made contact with a reporter who doesn't believe anyone survived the flight your friends were on."

Tricia: "I have to hear from someone on that flight. It'll be the greatest scoop ever if it's true. Who is that woman talking?"

Penny: "I'm Penelope Widmore. My father owns a whole bunch of stuff; maybe you're heard of him."

Tricia: "But you weren't on that flight."

Penny: "I was looking for someone who happened to be on the island that the plane crashed on. We want to get back to civilization. But here, you can talk to the passengers."

Jack pushes his way to the submarine's radio. "Dr. Jack Shephard in charge here. Thanks to my superlative medical skills all the passengers survived and are in great shape."

Tricia: "Dr. Jack Shepherd? You do sound like the doctor that was on that flight, but I need to hear from some others."

Jack growls, and then lets others talk.

Sayid: "Sayid Jarrah here. I'm piloting the submarine. The navigational system has been sabotaged, so I'd appreciate you emitting a strong signal so we can stay on course."

Tricia: "I'm sure the Coast Guard is on it. Who else is there?"

Hurley: "This is Hurley, er, Hugo Reyes."

Tricia: "I remember you. You're that big lottery winner."

Hurley: "Do you have any news of my mother?"

Tricia: "When you were declared dead, she donated your lottery winnings to charity. She said that you were right that the money was cursed."

Hurley: "I guess we agree on that. I'll just have to get another job. But I'd love to be able to talk to my mother. I've got some big news. I got married."

Tricia: To whom? And how could you?"

Libby: "To me, Libby. I used to be crazy, but I'm cured now."

Locke: "We should be careful. We're not home yet, and something still could happen before we get there."

* * *

In a Hollywood Studios conference room, bigshot television producer A. A. Jacobriam is discussing plans with his two longtime colleagues, Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball.

A. A.: "We need something original, yet believable. Something based on real life."

Damien: "What about that submarine lost in the Pacific with those airplane crash survivors?"

A. A.: "It's a possibility. The passengers would have to go along with it."

Curlicue: "That seems rather likely. Since they were all declared dead, they have no money, no possessions besides what they have with them now. You'd think a lot of them would jump at the chance to have a good paying job."

A. A. "Contact them to see if that's the case. But we have to make sure there's enough interest in such a project. There must be enthusiasm from all corners of the globe. And let's say ten thousand views and a hundred comments from those interested in that story."

Curlicue: "We'll get right on it, and report back soon."

* * *

Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball arrive at the Coast Guard station and get a chance to talk to the Oceanics.

Damien: "Hello, we're television producers and were wondering if you'd be interested in having your adventures portrayed on TV."

Sawyer: "What's in it for us?"

Damien: "It depends on how much you contribute, and whether you want to play your own parts, or if we have to find regular actors to play you."

Walt: "You mean we can be on TV? That would be awesome."

Michael: "You're going to have to go to school."

Emma: "But that's not all the time."

Zach: "I want to be a TV star."

Cindy: "We'll have to talk to your mother about that."

Sun: "Jin, we can start a new life away from my father and not be dependent on jobs from him."

Jin: "But he'll find out we're alive. He'll track us down."

Sun: "If we had other jobs, you could quit yours with father."

Jin: "Won't he be upset?"

Sun: "Maybe he'll be so grateful I'm alive that he'll mellow out. After all, he must have gotten along without you for three months."

Jin: "Maybe we'll find out."

Sawyer: "Sounds like there's some negotiating to be done."

Damien: "The point is there is interest on your part."

Curlicue: "Now we have to check up on interest on your story from the general public. We'll get back to you."

* * *

The Kabanahana is closing in on the powerboat with Ben and company. Keamy pushes Captain Gault aside and grabs a loudspeaker.

Keamy: "Surrender now, Linus!"

Ben: "Calm down. Richard and I would like to speak to Charles Widmore."

Keamy: "He isn't here, and we're about to complete our mission."

Ben: "Don't you have a captain who's in charge?"

Keamy: "He isn't going to contradict me. Prepare to be boarded!"

Mikhail, quietly to Ben: "What are you going to do?"

Ben: "I have one more trick up my sleeve."

Ben produces a flare gun and a ball that will fit inside its barrel.

Ethan: "What is that?"

Ben: "It contains a sample of the smoke monster."

Ethan: "You mean like a Pokemon ball?"

Ben: "Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't matter."

Richard: "But how will the smoke react of the island?"

Ben: "It has never been tried before, so we can't be sure. But it's our last hope."

Ben fires the flare gun toward the freighter. The ball hits the deck, and explodes into a large orange fog, that envelops the freighter, and then Ben's boat.

* * *

Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball call A. A. Jacobriam's office from Hawaii after studying the data.

A. A. : "So what did you find out?"

Damien: "The Oceanics are interested in appearing in a television series. They may be desperate for jobs."

A. A.: "And what about the interest from the general public? Are there more than ten thousand views?"

Curlicue: "Close to fifteen thousand, actually."

A. A.: "And is there worldwide interest? At least fifty countries from around the globe?"

Curlicue: "Definitely. First North America, we've had lots of views from the United States, Canada, and Mexico."

A. A.: "What about Australia, where that plane departed from?"

Curlicue: "Sure, Australia and neighboring countries, New Zealand, Indonesia, and Philippines."

A. A.: "Shouldn't there be a 'the' in front of that?"

Curlicue: "It wasn't printed that way."

A. A. "Europe?"

Curlicue: "A good chunk of Europe has shown interest. Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark Iceland…"

Damien: "The writer is thrilled there was so much interest from Scandinavia."

Curlicue: "Then United Kingdom with no 'the', Ireland, Jersey …"

A. A.: "'Jersey'? Do you mean 'New Jersey'?"

Damien: "No, Jersey is an island, a Channel Island, between England and France. It's not really a separate country, but that's how it was listed."

A. A.: "Go on."

Curlicue: "France, Monaco, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, Netherlands with no 'the', Italy, Greece, Austria, Czech Revar …"

A. A.: "'Czech Revar'? What does that mean?"

Damien: "We think it means 'Czech Republic'. Or it could be 'Czechia'."

Curlicue: "Anyway, Slovakia, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Croatia. Then former Soviet states, Estonia, Latvia, Ukraine, Belarus, Georgia, and Russian Federation."

A. A.: "Doesn't that mean 'Russia'?"

Damien: "It has to be. Probably an official name no one outside the country uses."

Curlicue: "Continuing with Asia, we have India, Pakistan, China, Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Korea, Republic of, …"

A. A.: "I assume that's South Korea."

Damien: "I think we all assume that."

Curlicue: "… and Brunei Darussalam."

A. A. : "An official name for Brunei?"

Damien: "Got to be."

A. A.: "You moved away from the Middle East."

Curlicue: "We also have Israel, Lebanon, Qatar, and Turkey."

A. A.: "Good. South America?"

Curlicue: "Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, and Uruguay. And then in the Caribbean, we have Puerto Rico …"

A. A.: "That's not an independent country."

Damien: "We know, but it was listed separately."

Curlicue: "Then Cayman Islands, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Dominican Revar."

A. A.: "Aha! 'Revar' must mean 'Republic'."

Damien: "Apparently so."

A. A.: "So has the tale received interest from Africa?"

Curlicue: "Actually, from every corner of the continent. We have Egypt, Morocco, Ghana, Uganda, Namibia, and South Africa."

A. A.: "That's very impressive. More than sixty real countries in any case. Looks like this is a go … oh, they did get one hundred reviews?"

Curlicue: "Actually, it's only ninety-nine. Interest has fallen off lately, and they've been stuck on ninety-nine for a while."

A. A." Then forget it. We need a hundred for eventual syndication."

Damien: "That's a little rough. What if they do get another review?"

A. A. "Then I guess we could go ahead with the project. But I don't want to hear about this again until and unless that happens."

* * *

Back at the Coast Guard station, a federal agent has joined the scene.

Edward Mars: "Let me talk to Kate Austin."

Jack: "Kate, someone on the outside wants to talk to you."

Kate: "Who is it?"

Edward: ":Kate Austin, we have you at last. You thought you were getting away with it, didn't you? Well, your running days are over. The submarine will be surrounded when it comes into port." Edward departs the station with a grin.

Kate screams and runs away, sobbing in a corner of the submarine. Several friends come over.

Jack: "Kate, what is he talking about?"

Ana-Lucia: "Come on Kate, what did you do?"

Eko: "Confession is good for the soul."

Kate breaks down. "I … I've been on the run for a long time. I did something horrible. You remember those handcuffs Walt found in the forest?"

Walt: "Of course I remember those. I was locked in those for like a week total."

Michael: "I think everyone remembers those handcuffs, Kate."

Everyone nods.

Kate: "Well, those were meant for me. This agent, Edward Mars has been after me. I ran away to Australia to elude capture, but he followed me. Then we were both supposed to be on Flight 815. I managed to trick him by pretending to hide in a ladies' room but got out through a window and onto the plane. Mars missed the plane waiting for me outside the restroom, but his luggage had been put aboard. During the crash the handcuffs came out and … well, you know the rest."

Jack: "But … that doesn't explain why you were running."

Kate composes herself. "I … I dropped off an overdue library book in a book return chute and skipped town without paying the fine."

There is an audible gasp.

Kate: "I couldn't face the librarian after that, and started running. But they knew who took out the book, and were very relentless."

Desmond: "What was the name of the book?"

Kate: "'Running for Dummies'."

Hurley: "What was the fine?"

Kate: "A dollar and eight cents."

Jack: "Kate, you won't face this alone. You're a good person. You stitched me up the first day and then I was able to attend to everyone's medical needs. You'll have a lot of character witnesses."

Kate: "Thank you, Jack, but I have to face this now. I can't keep on running."

* * *

At the Coast Guard Station, Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball arrive and speak in the radio phone.

Damien: "Are you still there?"

Jack: "Yes, what is it?"

Damien: "I'm afraid I have some bad news. We needed one hundred reviews to go ahead with your story, and you only got ninety-nine."

Jack: "You mean for the lack of one review we're out of luck?"

Claire is looking through the periscope. "Hey look, there's an orange cloud coming this way."

Sayid: "Uh oh, it's completely engulfing us, and I can't navigate like this."

Charlie: "Where are we?"

Jack: "Those guys outside must know. They have our signal."

Curlicue: "We could find you, but it's not worth it to us."

Jack: "What if we get one more review?"

Damien: "That would change everything. But until then, be it a day, a week, a month, a year, or a decade, good luck."

The orange smoke cuts off the radio communication.

Danielle: "What is going to become of us? After all those ordeals we went through, what shall become of us?"

Locke: "If no one cares, does it really matter?"

* * *

To be continued?


	93. Deleted Scenes

The following scenes were written and then deleted for stupidity, repetitiveness, and lack of redeeming and entertainment value. They are mostly about the kids and clothing accidents, although the first has a little bit of Juliet fantasizing about Sawyer. Please do not read or review this chapter, instead, skip it and continue directly to the finale. (You do not collect two hundred dollars.)

* * *

This scene takes place in Chapter 26, early during the time the Others have Walt in captivity. Walt still thinks he is playing cops and robbers, and has already been hypnotized by Bea into overheating whenever he is wearing more than his boarskin loincloth and thoroughly enjoying being tied up and trying to escape. He is currently tied securely to a heavy chair thanks to Ethan and Danny, with his hands tied behind him to the back supports, and his feet to the chair legs. He has been struggling mightily to no effect for fifteen or sixteen minutes when Juliet walks in for another round of questioning. She still isn't fond of the idea of questioning a nearly naked tied up boy.

Juliet: "Hello again, Walt. I'm sorry you couldn't be more …presentable for this."

Walt stops struggling. "It's okay, like I said before I'm used to this."

Juliet: "Does that mean you've been wearing just that loincloth ever since you lost your clothes and John Locke tied you to a tree?"

There is something in Juliet's manner that compels Walt to tell the truth. "Actually there was one day when I didn't, but that scene got deleted."

Juliet: "So what was in the deleted scene?"

Walt: "Well, before one of my walkabouts I asked John if Aborigines really did go out into the wilderness with nothing but a loincloth, and he said that was often the case, but that the tradition in many tribes was that boys had to go out naked. Since then I wondered what it would be like to be walking about the jungle naked. I would take off and wash my loincloth, and hang it up to dry, out of Vincent's reach just in case. I would walk around a little, and it was sort of neat, but it wasn't much of an experience since I knew I could always go back and put my loincloth back on. I kept chickening out.

Then I got the idea to force me not to be able to get my loincloth back for a long while. I would hang it up to dry by a stream that led to a waterfall. There was a ravine down below, and it would take me at least an hour to climb back up around a side. So I set my plan into motion, and floated down the stream toward the waterfall.

Then I panicked and changed my mind. I swam against the current, but just couldn't swim fast enough. And by the time I decided to get out, there were only smooth rocks along the steep sides. It was so pathetic, and I felt like such an idiot. And then I went over the falls. At least I have to admit it was exciting.

Then I tried to swim to the side to climb out, but I was too exhausted from trying to avoid going over the falls. The river carried me way downstream, like four kilometers. And when it finally slowed down enough, the bank was real soft and muddy. My first two steps I sank up to my knees. Then I was still too tired to step out, and I just sank up to my waist."

Juliet: "My goodness! That sounds like quite an adventure. I can't imagine how you must have felt."

Walt: "Yeah. Actually, it felt pretty neat. If someone saw me they couldn't tell I was naked, and the mud was soothing. I just stood there half an hour regaining my energy."

Juliet: "That's quite a picture you're painting."

Walt: "I guess so. When I felt good enough to get out, I noticed there was a branch a little out of reach. If I had my loincloth, I could have unknotted it, and used it to loop the branch and pull it within reach. But when you're naked you've got nothing to help you. I had to rock back and forth, and push the mud back with my hands. It was very slow progress, and it took about half an hour to go one meter, where I could finally reach a tree root and pull myself out."

Juliet: "You're very resourceful."

Walt: "Maybe. I washed myself up further upstream where the bank was solid. But I was now tired from extracting myself from the mud, and wasn't paying enough attention to where I was going. I stepped into a net trap, and was stuck in it, swinging over the ground. Normally I can get out of those pretty easy, but then I didn't have the strength to force open the loop at the top. That was so humiliating; having to sit there in the nude and not being able to do anything about it."

Juliet fantasizes about being trapped in a net with Sawyer with both of them naked.

Walt: "Am I boring you? You just zoned out."

Juliet: "No, not at all. Please go on."

Walt: "Well, I had to lie there another hour before I had recovered enough to climb the side, force the loop open, and crawl out. Then I continued going back to where I started. And then the ground gave way and I fell into this giant hole. It must have been five meters deep. Again, I didn't have enough energy to climb out. I felt so stupid standing there at the bottom. I wanted any kind of clothes, and there was no way to get any."

Juliet: "I didn't realize you were so accident prone."

Walt: "Normally I'm not. I had to sit around for another hour, and then I found I could climb out by placing my hands on one side of the hole and my feet on the other. I must have looked ridiculous. Anyway I got out and went uphill some more.

Then at the top of a hill my foot got tangled in a vine lying on the ground. I should have bent down and got it loose with my hands, but I was lazy and tried to kick it off. But first the vine stuck to a tree, and I tripped. That was enough to make the vine break from the tree, but then I was rolling downhill, and the vine wrapped around me several times. Before I could figure out what to do, the vine pinned my arms to my sides and tied my legs together tightly. I hit a tree trunk at the bottom of the hill, and got stunned.

Being tied up all naked was too humiliating, so I tried to get loose right away, but I was too weak. I had to lie there on my back for a half hour until I got another wind. And then it was still hard, squirming and rolling, trying to unwind the vine. It took another half hour to finally get loose."

Juliet fantasizes about being tied naked together with Sawyer.

"I should have learned to rest some after getting loose, but I wasn't thinking. Then I stepped into another rope trap, this one the kind that tightens around your feet and suspends you upside-down. I did part of a sit-up, and then had to hang limp. Talk about pathetic."

Juliet: "Weren't you worried about not getting out of these traps?"

Walt: "I knew John would eventually track and find me if I didn't make it home. But I certainly didn't want him to find me like that. There would go my dignity forever, looking like a complete fool hanging upside-down naked."

Juliet: "That does sound awful. How did you get out?"

Walt: "Actually I passed out for about an hour I think. Then I was more rested, and I swung back and forth, until I eventually caught the trunk of a tree. It took an annoyingly long time to do that, probably another half hour. Then I climbed it enough to reach a branch, and sit on it, and then reach my feet to loosen the knot."

Juliet: "At least you had a lot of learning experiences. These might come in handy sometime in the future."

Walt: "Wonderful. Anyway, that was the last of the traps. I made it back, and was so glad to put that loincloth back on. I rested for a while, and then went home and told nobody anything about it."

Juliet: "Walt, you were absolutely right. That was an outrageous scene and it's a good thing it was deleted."

Walt: "Yeah. And the rule is, deleted scenes don't count. I'm so glad no one saw me that day."

* * *

This scene was deleted from Chapter 82. Walt, Emma, and Zach were shot out of the torpedo tubes of the submarine, and attached explosive to the sub's hatch so that the other passengers could get out. A large wave swept the kids well inland and into a deep pit.

Walt, Emma, and Zach find themselves in a deep pit filled with poison ivy vines. They find that the walls are too steep to climb. Zach climbs up on Walt's and Emma's shoulders but doesn't come close to reaching the edge. When he gets back down, the three brush the vines out of their faces so they can talk with the poison ivy piled high over their heads.

Zach: "Are we going to die in here? The others may never find us."

Emma: "No, there must be a way out. Can we make a rope out of these vines?"

Walt: "I don't think these are strong enough. And if we handle these too much, our hands will get too irritated and swollen to climb anything." Walt takes one vine and breaks it easily.

Emma: "Then what are we going to do?"

Walt sighs. "There is a way. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but we have no choice."

Zach: "What are you talking about? Did this happen to you before?"

Walt: "Something similar. I stepped into a flashback … I mean …"

Walt falls into a flashback.

"It was during the time that John was training me to track. We'd go into the middle of the jungle, and I would close my eyes and stand still for a few minutes while John went somewhere. One day he tricked me and I stepped into some soft deep mud. My left leg suddenly went in past my knee. I did a great job of avoiding falling on my face and keeping my balance by stepping forward quickly with my right leg, but that sank in to the middle of my thigh. I was still almost losing by balance, and I waved my arms wildly to keep it. It worked, but I sank up to my waist. It would have been better if I fell on my face or backwards, distributing my weight better, but now I was stuck, and I figured that if I moved more, I would only sink deeper. The closest thing I might grab was a branch about a meter over my head. Of course my arms aren't that long."

"So I called out to John for help, but he didn't answer. It looked like he wanted me to get out by myself. I found out later that I should have rocked back and forth, slowly leaned forward, and made swimming motions to distribute my weight across the mud and raise my legs, but instead I tried to take a step by lifting my left leg up a little. That only made the right leg sink deeper. When I felt what was happening I reflexively pulled my right leg up, and that of course made the left leg go down more. When I was standing straight I was where I was before only four centimeters deeper. It sucked when I looked down and couldn't see my bellybutton."

"So now I was determined not to move again, and called out for John:"

'John, are you there? I'm stuck and I need help.'

"Four minutes later John comes out from behind some trees, on solid ground at the end of the marshy area. He looked at me disapprovingly, shook his head … and then burst out laughing. I never heard him laugh like that before, and he had been trying to stifle it."

Emma and Zach can't help but laugh loudly.

Walt: "Hey, you're interrupting my flashback!"

Zach: "Ha ha, sorry I can't help it. You sure get yourself stuck a lot."

Emma: "I bet you made an adorable picture."

Walt: "Enough! Now let me finish."

Walt resumes his flashback.

"When John regained his composure, he finally spoke in his more usual serious tone."

'Walter, you disappointed me. You need to be more careful. You shouldn't have assumed my trail continued in a straight line where it stopped.'

'Fine, I know I screwed up. I'll be more careful next time. Now can you please get me out of here?'

'You got yourself into that, so you have to get yourself out of it. Visualize escaping in your mind's eye.'

'How? I can't reach anything, and if I move, I only sink deeper. And I don't have anything that can help me; I'm practically naked.'

'That's the key word. "Practically".'

'"Practically?" So I still have my boarskin loincloth, big deal. It's two or three decimeters under the surface, and what good could that be?'

"And then it hit me."

'You mean I can take it off and use it as a rope? Will it be long enough … oh, I think so if I tie both pieces together end to end. But … I'll sink deeper while untying the knots and then pulling my hands out.'

'Well, duh! So move as little as possible while you're making your rope.'

"So I reached down into the mud and worked on the knot holding my waistband together. I did pretty good at not moving the rest of my body, but when I got the knot undone, it was hard to pull the piece up through the mud, and I sank down another four centimeters or so. Then I had to fish around for the centerpiece, and when I found that and pulled that up, I sank some more, probably another four centimeters. I was able to undo the knot tying the ends together in that without moving my body any more, but I was now up to my chest."

Zach giggles: "So you were stuck naked chest-deep in the mud? How did it feel?"

Walt: "Stop interrupting my flashback!"

Emma: "Zach, don't you see where this is heading?"

Walt groans: "Zach, it felt weird, like soothing and scary at the same time. Now no more interruptions!"

"Anyway, John said I did good. I asked:

'Is this strong enough to support my weight?'

'Certainly. I made that loincloth very tough. It wouldn't do if you were running around and it came undone. Then I would get into trouble. Now you might want to tie a loop in one end around your wrist so you don't lose it when you throw it over that branch.'

'Okay'.

I did so, took aim, and threw my make-shift rope, but I let go of the far end too soon, and it didn't wrap far enough around the branch. I couldn't reach the other end. But what was worse, the force of my throwing made me sink some more, up to my nipples. And then the mud tickled them so much that my body shook a lot, and I kept sinking up to my armpits. At least my arms were resting on the surface. I looked up at John and from his silence it was clear he was insisting that I try again."

"So I tried again, and got closer to being able to reach the other end of the rope, but still couldn't quite get it. And this time I felt the mud cover my shoulders and upper arms, and I was in up to my neck."

'John, I really could use some help. This is serious.'

'No it isn't.'

'What do you mean?'

'I tested the density of that mud by pushing a stick into it. It's 1.1 times your body density, so by buoyancy principles only you can only sink up to 90 percent of your body. You couldn't sink further if you tried.'

'You better be right about that.'

"I tried again, and almost made it. I could just touch the far end of the rope, but not get a grip on it. It did feel like I sank a little more, like up to my chin. I had to rest there a minute with just my heads and hands above the surface, and then I remembered to visualize what I wanted to do with my mind's eye. On the fourth try I caught the other end, and was able to pull myself up slowly out of the muck. When I was waist high John spoke."

'I'll leave you now so you can get organized.'

'Huh? What do you mean?'

'I better not be around until you get decent again.'

'Decent? Oh, I completely forgot I was naked.'

"John went away, and I finally got enough of me out of the mud to crawl along to the solid ground by the tree. Then it took a while to untie the two pieces of my loincloth-rope, and then put them back on properly. I then had to crawl across the swamp to an edge where solid ground was. Of course I was completely covered in mud by then so that last part didn't matter."

Walt looks at Emma and Zach. "Okay, I'm done with my flashback. I imagine you know what we have to do."

Emma: "We have to make a rope using the pieces of our loincloths."

Walt: "Yes. It looks like we'll need all of them to reach that branch way up there."

They undo their loincloths.

Walt: "We need to keep these straight. Let's put Emma's three pieces on one end, and Zach's two pieces on the other. Mine will go in the middle."

They tie the boarskin strips together, still with just their heads showing in the tangle of poison ivy vines. Walt then ties one end around Zach's wrist.

Walt: "Zach, since you're smallest, you climb on Emma's and my shoulders, and throw our rope around that tree branch up there."

Zach does as Walt instructs, and after four efforts it works. He climbs a meter up the makeshift rope and out of the pit.

Walt: "Okay, now Emma, can you climb up on my shoulders and climb out?"

Emma: "Of course I can."

They eventually manage to do so.

Emma: "What now? You can't reach the rope."

Walt: "Tie it around a tree and then drop the other end to me."

This works and Walt climbs out of the pit. It then takes the naked children a half hour to untie the knots in their rope, and then they get dressed. They are all itching fairly severely at this point.

Walt: "Okay, that was too embarrassing. If anyone asks, just say the scene on how we got out of that pit was deleted."

Emma and Zach nod their agreement, and the scene continues with their meeting up with the rest of the passengers from the submarine.

* * *

This scene takes place in Chapter 75, when everyone on the island is under the influence of the nitrous oxide, and referred to Chapter 87. Shannon and Sayid are on their honeymoon, and to keep the kids from bothering them, Walt, Emma, and Zach have been tied up most of the time. On day 78, the trio finds themselves tied to trees in an equilateral pattern so they can see each other. Like usual, their hands are tied behind their backs around the trees, and their ankles are also securely tied together and to the trees, so they have little movement.

Emma: "So this is how John tied up you the first time? It seems like you should have been able to get out of that by yourself."

Walt: "So how was I supposed to do that? I could barely move, like now."

Emma: "Couldn't you move your hands up and down to fray the rope?"

Walt: "I tried that, but that was going to scrape the skin off my back."

Emma: "Well, maybe I can do it."

Since Emma has a boarskin top, she can move her hands up and down a little without scraping the skin off her shoulder blades. However, the motion wears at the knot holding the boarskin strip together, and after four minutes the knot wears through. She is powerless to do anything as her top falls off onto the ground at her feet. The boys laugh hysterically, and a few seconds later so does Emma. Eventually they can speak.

Zach: "So how does it feel, Emma?"

Emma: "Actually, the sun feels good on my chest."

Walt: "Yeah, it does. Look what you've been missing all this time."

They spend the rest of the day giggling tied to the trees. As the sun sets, Jack and Kate come by to untie them so they can eat dinner. They notice Emma's top on the ground.

Kate: "Oopsie, did we have a wardrobe malfunction?"

Emma: "You might call it that."

Zach: "I think it's functioning fine."

Kate: "Emma, why didn't you ask someone to put your top back on for you?"

Emma looks confused. "Why would I want that?"

Kate: "Uhh… because that's what you always wear?"

Emma: "There are better reasons not to. I've seen Walt's bare chest so much these past few weeks it's only fair that he see mine. This way I can get rid of some tan lines. If I get buried in the sand again it won't scratch my upper body now. And I can get more Vitamin D."

Jack: "That does make sense. Vitamin D is good for growing kids."

Emma: "Besides, I can do anything those silly boys can, like hang out in just a loincloth all the time."

Kate: "Nice thinking, Emma."

The kids are untied, eat, and then get tied up again for the night. The next several days go like that until the nitrous oxide finally dissipates. When it does, Sayid and Shannon return from their honeymoon on Desmond's sailboat, and as a part of a group encounter Walt, Emma, and Zach each with their hands tied together high over their heads to a tree branch, and their feet tied together to a tree root. Despite their obvious struggles to escape, everyone but Sayid and Shannon pass by as if nothing is out of the ordinary.

Sayid: "Wait a minute, what's wrong with you? The children are tied up and you're ignoring them?"

Walt: "Shannon, don't you remember? You asked my Dad to so that I wouldn't mess up your honeymoon, and Emma and Zach should be treated the same way. It worked great."

Shannon: "Oh … that's right. I'm so sorry; I was under the influence of that gas. But … what happened to Emma's top?"

Emma: "I lost it a week ago, hey wait a minute! This is wrong! Get me out of this and help me find my top."

Zach: "There isn't that much of a hurry."

Sayid: "This isn't working. This scene is going to have to be reshot."

Shannon: "Yes, but how we will explain Emma's lack of tan lines on top? I'm an expert on this, and it must have taken a week to accomplish that."

Walt: "Maybe no one will notice."

Sayid: "Unlikely. This is just too stupid. We need to end this scene now."

Sayid and Shannon untie the kids.

Emma: "Can someone give me something to wear while we find my top?"

No one present has a spare top, and it takes them forty-two minutes to find Emma's top. The scene is then reshot without Emma's wardrobe malfunction.


	94. Pilot Light is On

The orange smoke infiltrates the submarine.

Sayid: "I can't ventilate the smoke."

Kate: "What's going to happen?"

Sayid: "It may affect us in an unpredictable manner."

Juliet: "This has gone on long enough. Sawyer, everyone wants to see us together forever. Will you ask me to marry you?"

Sawyer: "Is that how it works now? Fine, will you marry me?"

Juliet: "You're so romantic."

Sawyer: "So you wanna do this while we still remember who we are?"

Juliet: "Of course. Eko, will you do the honors?"

Eko: "I'd love to. Do you have rings?"

Boone: "There must be some lug nuts around that will fit."

Boone goes off to the supply room and returns with a bunch of nuts. Juliet and Sawyer select two."

Eko: "Great. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to … well, you all know. Sawyer, do you take Juliet to be your lawful wedded wife?"

Sawyer: "I guess so."

Eko: "Juliet, do you take Sawyer to be your lawful wedded hunk, er husband?"

Juliet: "I do."

Eko: "Then I pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss each other."

They do. There is cheering, but off to one side someone is crying.

Desmond: "Penny, what's wrong?"

Penny: "That was so beautiful. I can't help it."

Desmond: "Is there something I can do to help?"

Penny: "Yes … can't you guess?"

Desmond: "You mean marry you?"

Penny: "Oh Desmond, I thought you'd never ask! I accept!"

Desmond: "Uh, what just happened?"

Ana-Lucia: "Hey, we're going to have another wedding!"

Boone: "Here are a couple more nuts you can use as rings."

Eko: "Thank you. Now Desmond, do you take Penny to be you lawful wedded wife."

Desmond: "I do?"

Eko: "Penny, do you take Desmond to be your lawful wedded husband?"

Penny: "I do."

Eko: "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss now."

Desmond and Penny kiss.

Everyone is beginning to lose consciousness as the orange smoke becomes denser. Then a loud clang is heard as …

A giant magnet attached to a long rope comes out from the sky and latches onto the submarine. Next an enormous blow dryer slides along the rope, turns on, and blows the orange smoke back to the island. The blow dryer is close enough to the powerboat and Kabanahana to blow the smoke away from those vessels as well. The freighter catches up to the powerboat, and Keamy calls out:

"This is it, Linus, we have you outgunned. Surrender now or be blown out of the water."

Ben is shaken by the turn of events. Defeated, he opens a small safe that had been among the possession taken aboard and extracts some money from it. He sullenly climbs aboard the Kabanahana, and hands it over to Captain Gault.

Ben: "Here it is. Now leave me alone."

Gault: "Thank you, and good riddance."

Ben goes back to the powerboat.

Richard: "What was that all about?"

Ben: "A long time ago I borrowed a book from Charles Widmore's library, "How to Control People While Keeping Them Clueless." It was overdue when I returned it. I used the book's ideas to try to convince Widmore that I had returned it in time, but he didn't buy it. I then argued that I had borrowed a defective product and shouldn't have to pay Widmore anything. Then he had to leave the island, but vowed he would exact retribution upon me."

Richard: "How much was the fine?"

Ben: "A dollar and eight cents. With interest, a dollar and forty-two cents."

Richard: "What do we do now?"

Ben: "Just get out of here."

The powerboat and freighter head eastward, in the direction the submarine is being towed.

* * *

As the orange smoke dissipates from the submarine, a note in a bottle attached to a small parachute drops through the submarine's hatch. Jack grabs it.

Kate: "What does it say?"

Jack: "Good news! Your story drew another couple reviews and hit the century remark. Therefore we've decided to invest in your rescue. I've arranged a meeting with you and my associates at unspecified Hawaiian Island to discuss your future. Signed, Bigshot Producer A. A. Jacobriam."

Shannon: "Wow, we better get ready."

Sayid: "At this speed it will take one more day to reach Hawaii."

Bea: "I think it's time to un-hypnotize the kids and get them back to normal."

Bea produces her heptagonal medallion and hypnotizes the children.

Bea: "Walt, you will no longer overheat when you wear regular clothes. And Walt, Emma, and Zach, you no longer have unnatural desires to prove yourselves escape artists."

Bea snaps her fingers, and the children blink.

Walt: "Did something happen?"

Michael: "You're normal again. You can wear regular clothes without overheating now."

Emma: "Aww."

Michael: "Be realistic. We'll all have to dress appropriately when we're back in civilization."

Juliet: "Sawyer without a shirt is appropriate in any situation."

Emma: "Hey Bea, can you send me those pictures of Walt you have on your camera?"

Bea: "Fortunately that camera stayed on this sub all this time. Of course I can."

Walt: "What do you want with those? Are you going to make a photo album of me tied up all the time?"

Zach: "She'll probably blow them up and make life-size posters of you for her room."

Emma: "Hey, you weren't supposed to guess that."

Walt: "It wasn't that hard to guess."

Emma: "I think those pictures would make a nice computer screen background, or could be made into a screen saver."

Michael: "Why don't we be sure we get home before worrying about all this?"

The submarine sails on for another day, and then it, the powerboat, and the Kabanahana all are escorted to a dock in one of the Hawaiian Islands. Everyone is taken to a large room in a building by the dock. One special visitor has been brought in from the mainland. Emma and Zach recognize the woman, and rush to embrace her.

Emma and Zach: "Mom! It's so good to see you!"

Emma's and Zach's Mother cries: "Emma, Zach, I can't believe it! I thought I'd never see you again. They told me everyone on that plane was dead."

Emma: "Whoever they are was wrong. These people, well most of them, are our friends and helped take care of us. You should meet them."

Ana-Lucia: "Hi. I said back in Chapter 21 I would get these kids back safe to you. It took longer than I expected, but here they are."

Cindy: "I was supposed to be in charge of them for a while, but I sort of got marginalized."

Emma's and Zach's Mother: "If you were taken care of, what happened to your clothes? Way too much of your butts are showing."

Zach: "Almost everyone's clothes wore out, and we didn't have anything to replace them. Our friend John over there made these for us and my boyfriend Walt here out of boarskin."

Emma: "It's actually been pretty neat. And besides, that isn't really important, right? What's important is that we're here."

Emma's and Zach's Mother: "I guess you're right. Do you realize you all need haircuts?"

Sawyer: "Can we please spare the sappy emotional reunion and get down to business?"

There is widespread assent.

A. A. Jacobriam: "Hello everyone. Let me introduce myself. I am the bigshot television producer A. A. Jacobriam, and these are my associates Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball. We have concluded that there is sufficient interest in your story to make a primetime television series, and would like to cast you as the stars instead of some higher-paid professional actors and actresses. I'm prepared to offer you one hundred thousand dollars each for each episode you appear in."

Juliet: "Do you realize what that means, Sawyer? You can earn money honestly instead of having to resort to being a con man the rest of our lives."

Sawyer, to Juliet: "That doesn't sound as much fun, but let me give this one try." Facing A. A., Sawyer declares, "Hey, Double A, I think 108 thousand each would be more appropriate."

A. A. thinks for a moment. "You drive a hard bargain, but that does seem appropriate. 108 thousand it is."

Kate: "That was impressive Sawyer; you just made all of us a lot more money."

Jack: "What about 108,108 dollars? And forty-two cents?"

Hurley: "How about we not get carried away by this?"

The $108,000 figure is agreed upon.

A. A.: "We have done some investigating, and are prepared to give you advances to help you get settled, and perhaps your new businesses started. What would you like to do with your lives?"

Boone: "My mother's wedding business doesn't have a branch in Hawaii. I'd like to open one here."

A. A. "Great idea. I'll have my people arrange office space for you."

Shannon: "Boone, that's a great idea. It's been a dream of mine to open a dance studio. Now I'll be able to do it!"

Boone: "Go for it, Shan! Now what will your husband do?"

Sayid: "I hadn't thought about it. I just want to make the world a better place."

A. A.: "I'm sure we can find something suitable for your technical expertise."

Sayid: "Perhaps. What I really want to do is build a home for Shannon and me."

A. A.: "I got it. Not only can you build that, but you can help with construction of the set. You can make sure all the electrical stuff works correctly.

Michael: "I'm kind of anxious to get back into construction, but as my own boss. And I'd also like to get back into art, maybe opening a studio."

A. A.: "Looks like you'll be busy. Good luck with all that."

Jack: "If I go back to my hospital in California, I won't be able to participate in the television series."

A. A.: "You were replaced because everyone thought you were dead. But we'll be building a new one here, and they'll need a chief surgeon. How does that sound?"

Jack: "I'd be in charge? That sounds exactly like what I should be doing."

A. A.: "And Juliet could resume her career there, too."

Juliet: "That would be wonderful."

A. A.: "Also Libby if she wants to get back into psychology."

Libby: "I would love that. Now that I'm cured I can be useful again, and only act crazy while doing the TV show."

A. A.: "Rose and Bernard, what do you think you might do?"

Bernard: "I could start a new dental practice, and retire in comfort in a few years."

Rose: "I'd like to do volunteer work at the hospital, and retire with Bernard when the time comes."

A. A.: "Great. We'll also need to establish a police department here. I think Ana-Lucia would make a great captain."

Ana-Lucia: "When you're right, you're right."

Eko: "Let me guess: there's room for a new church in the area?"

A. A.: "Absolutely. We wouldn't want to neglect spiritual development here."

Eko: "Then I shall build another church."

Hurley: "I think opening a 'Mr. Cluck' chicken franchise in Hawaii is a good idea. And I like that 'be my own boss' part."

Charlie: "I'm going to revive my music career."

Claire: "That's wonderful. I need some time to think about what I'll do, but for now I can at home with Aaron."

Sawyer: "I don't suppose you have any jobs for a con man."

Juliet: "How about a career change. I think you'd be a fine addition to the police force, or general security. You could teach people how to spot and avoid cons."

Sawyer: "I guess I am quite an authority on that."

Shannon: "Get serious. What people really want is for you to be a model, like for swimsuits and blue jeans."

There is a lot of nodding.

Claire: "Actually, I bet he could make a lot of money posing for pictures with fans."

There is more nodding.

Kate: "All these things sound so wonderful. But I don't have anything to fall back on. All I've been doing for so long is running."

A. A.: "Then we have the perfect job for you. You can be the physical education instructor at the school?"

Kate: "Me, a teacher?"

Curlicue: "Why not? Actually we could use several teachers."

Damien: "We were thinking of Daniel as a physics instructor, Sayid for engineering, Michael as the art teacher, and Danielle as the French teacher."

Daniel: "Starting a new academic career sounds good. I presume I'd be able to continue my research."

Charlotte: "And I can get back into archaeology."

Danielle: "Teaching? I never thought of that. John, what do you think? Neither of us has any place to go?"

Locke: "That should work out fine. I want to establish a walkabout center. I could lead hikes around the mountains here, and then if the island becomes inhabitable conduct expeditions there."

Danielle: "Oh, I'd love to join you for some of those. And we can demonstrate our traps."

Emma: "I think Walt and Zach should get to show first-hand how the traps work."

Walt: "Aren't you for equal rights? If we get trapped so will you."

Zach: "I'm with Walt. Emma, you're outvoted two to one."

Michael: "And I'm pretty sure everyone else here will agree that it should be all three of you when you have the time."

Charlie: "I can resume my musical career."

Claire: "That's wonderful. I know I want to stay at home with Aaron for now. That will give me time to decide what to do later."

Desmond: "I'll be able to complete that sailing trip around the world."

Penny: "Can I come with you?"

Desmond: "Of course. I don't ever want to be apart from you again."

Richard: "What about me?"

A. A.: "You're a natural advisor. You can be the school's guidance counselor."

Richard: "Great, that makes a lot of sense!"

Miles: "What about me?"

A. A.: "We kind of forgot about you. What are you good for?"

Miles: "Um, psychic readings? I guess I could open a fortuneteller's shop."

A. A.: "We'll also need some pilots for getting visitors to and from the set from the other Hawaiian Islands. I figure Frank, Seth, and Naomi would be good for flying small planes and helicopters around. Cindy can be the flight attendant."

Cindy: "How nice of you to remember me."

Seth: "Me too."

Sawyer: "Were you on the submarine?"

Joanna: "What about me?"

A. A.: "We don't know anything about you except you look good in a bikini. If you want, we can get you started on a modeling career. Say as a female counterpart to Sawyer."

Juliet: "Ahem."

A. A.: "They don't have to be in the same shots."

Jack: "Wait a minute. If we're going to film our experiences, we would need Ben and all those Others. They did some pretty bad things, like kidnapping Claire and Walt, and making our lives a lot more difficult than necessary."

A. A.: "Our legal department has looked into that. There appears to be a lack of jurisdiction on which to charge them with anything. That island wasn't part of any sovereign nation."

Sayid: "Aren't there some international laws that apply?"

A. A.: "They might, if that island appeared on any official map. Since it doesn't, we have come to an arrangement with the local authorities. They do get a big break for changing those Vermicelli Equation numbers and saving mankind indefinitely. So they will be on probation and supervised closely, but as long as they don't get into trouble, they can hold regular jobs. Ben can be a teacher at the school, say in history. Or maybe, due to his leadership skills, the principal."

Ben: "You are assuming that I wish to pursue this course."

A. A: "Well, we brought in a special visitor to see you. Let's see how you feel after you meet her."

A woman about Ben's age is brought in. Ben looks at her quizzically, and then deduces, "Annie?"

Annie: "Ben! Is it really you?"

Ben: "Yes, but I have to be sure it's you."

Annie: "I brought this." Annie takes her little doll in Ben's likeness as a boy from her purse. "I've been waiting all these years to see you again."

Ben takes his Annie doll from a pocket. "And I kept this all this time."

There is a chorus of "Awwww's."

Ben: "What have you been doing all these years?"

Annie: "I got a great education from the Dharpa folks, and decided to continue that tradition. I'm an English teacher. I'm looking for a new location, and …"

Ben figures it out and welcomes the chance to be with Annie.

Ben: "Gentlemen, I accept your generous offer."

A. A.: "Great. As to the other Others,"Ethan is a licensed physician, so he can work at the hospital under Jack's direction."

Ethan: "I can live with that."

A. A.: "Some of you, like Mikhail, Greta, and Bonnie, have radio skills that could be useful in a local radio station. Isabel can join the police force, but has to start at the bottom. A bunch of you Others, we're not sure what you're good for, so we'll have to work that out later."

Ben: "They were under my direction on the island, so I'm sure I can find something for them to do at the school. Custodial work if nothing else."

Kate: "What about my … legal problem?"

A. A.: "It's been worked out. You accept our offer, stay out of trouble, your library fine will be taken out of your first paycheck. Otherwise, you're going to jail."

Kate: "I think I'll accept the offer to star in the TV series."

Jack: "Kate, I don't want you to face your troubles alone. Will you marry me?"

Kate: "Oh, that would be lovely." Kate thinks, "_Since Sawyer is taken, the choice is easy._"

Charlotte nudges Daniel.

Daniel: "Uh, Charlotte, you want something? Like … to get married?"

Charlotte: "Finally! I can't believe it took this long, but the wait was worth it."

Eko: "Wonderful! When this is over let's go to the site of my new church."

Bea: "What about me? I did some … unpleasant things to Walt. Michael, do you want to press charges?"

Michael: "I don't want to press charges against you." Michael gets done on one knee. "I want to marry you."

Bea: "Oh, Michael, you've made me so happy!"

Michael: "And now I can afford a decent ring."

Walt: "Cool! Hey, I want to change my last name to Dawson."

Michael: "Walt, you're such a wonderful son."

A. A.: "That can be arranged. We just need to change a few opening credits for the show."

Bea: "This is all happening so fast!. I … I won't be on the show for a while, what will I do?"

Walt: "You gave some great massages."

Michael: "Amen to that. Why don't you open a massage parlor?"

Bea: "That's a great idea."

A. A.: "Okay, everybody. Now for a few more details. We plan to run this show, putting on about thirty episodes a year. None of this stupid nonsense of airing only sixteen episodes a year to drag it out. It should last about three years then. Production will start in a few months, hopefully after Sun has her baby, but we can shoot scenes around her if necessary. You'll have to live in Hawaii for the time when your parts come up. So who's in?"

There is aloud chorus of "I am!"

Emma: "Mom, can we please do this?"

Zach: "Yes Mom, please?"

Emma and Zach's Mother: "Since it means so much to you, and will help us so much financially, okay."

Emma: "Thank you so much." She turns to Walt: "I get to stay near you?"

Walt: "That's great. Hey, I just thought of something. Does that mean I'm going to be in handcuffs for several days again?"

The directors Damien Limburger and Curlicue Cueball are milling around, realizing they'll get paid if they speak a line in the episode.

Curlicue: "No, this is television. We film a scene with you in handcuffs that lasts a few minutes. Then you can take them off and do other stuff, eat, schoolwork, whatever. Then when it's time for your next scene we put the cuffs back on, and you act like you've been in them for hours."

Emma: "What if Walt is a bad actor and can't be convincing that he's been in handcuffs for hours at a time?"

Damien: "Then he will have to stay in handcuffs the whole time. It is imperative that all the actors are believable."

Walt: "Hey!"

Michael: "You made the agreement. And remember, Vincent will be able to visit Gussie in the zoo any time."

Walt: "Oh right, I want to have Vincent be happy. And I'm sure I'll be a good enough actor."

Michael: "I'm sure you will."

Emma: "Walt, do you realize you'll be wearing just a loincloth for a lot of the next three years?"

Walt looks stunned, and then laughs. "Well, Dad lost his shirt before mine."

Juliet: "Oh no! Sawyer will have to wear a shirt for three whole episodes and part of the fourth!"

Sawyer: "Calm down, baby, we all have to make sacrifices in life. You'll get over it."

A. A.: "All right everybody it's time to celebrate the launching of what will be a highly successful television that will be talked about for years, if not centuries."

Eko: "Then to the new church site!"

They go to the site, where Eko performs the marriage ceremonies of Jack and Kate, then Charlotte and Daniel, and then Michael and Bea. Everyone has a great time celebrating the end of their stay at the island and the beginning of their new lives, and the upcoming hit television series.

* * *

Author's Note: Writing this has been an incredible experience. It lasted much longer than I had anticipated as I tried to maneuver to a satisfying conclusion. Thanks to all whose support kept me going.

If there is any interest in the characters' lives after the rescue, or loose ends I managed not to address, I might write a sequel, but currently don't have any ideas except a few with the children. In any case I need a long break from writing.

- hjr


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